Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. https://answers.mamasuncut.com/t/my-husbands-female-coworked-stayed-at-his-out-of-town-house-with-him-what-gives/12688
I work with mostly men in a corporate position. I would never elect to stay at a house with someone of the opposite sex especially when I could get a hotel room.
Yes when we are all out of town working, we eat most if not all meals together. We grab drinks together. We may site see. But I can say this- 99% of the men I work with will call it an early evening because they want to FaceTime with their wife & kids before bed. If their spouse is traveling up- they will be straight up honest and say something like- sorry I can’t go see that with the group. I promised my wife I would take her. I must say I’m always highly impressed with the respect those men have for their wives and families.
Why does it come as a shock? Because I was married before to a man who pulled the same crap your husband just pulled. I found out on my own that the safety person he was spending so much time with and in hotels late with was a woman. How did I find out? At a company luncheon when he introduced me to her. I had to sit across the table from her and next to him like I was OK! I found out a woman was staying in a house with him that supposedly was his bosses daughter. I mean who puts them self in that situation?
So from being involved with both sides- I would be mad mad.
30 Likes
Ok so I just had my guy read this. He said “oh yea, he’s definitely in an inappropriate relationship with the coworker”. Then he said “even if he ISNT sleeping wirh/interested in her, he is clearly disassociated from his marriage, living a double life. Let’s say he was just trying to be nice to the coworker…he clearly put being nice to her over the respect of his wife and marriage”
21 Likes
I would feel like the fact that certain details were kept from me is the biggest red flag. Tbh, if it was a group of men and women all staying together, no biggie. As long as everyone is on the same page, to each their own🤷🏼♀️. But in reading the post, it’s the seemingly intentional lack of information that would worry me most, (and we’ve been together for over 10 years, plus neither of us are jealous types). I don’t want to overreach, but it sounds like something’s not right……
3 Likes
Been there it’s always lies! My ex husband always said he didn’t really talk to her much and she was just a friend when I found them texting constantly! Then I asked if he would just make sure they were never alone together and he said he knew better than that! I checked his phone one day and apparently they would ride together , do work outs together, he had been to her home and met her kids (she was also married) and he had been giving her rides to work all the time. He would text her things like “you’re my favorite person” or when they worked the overnight shift together they would talk about things like how they didn’t believe in soul mates. She also confided all her marital problems to him and he did to her as well. People are snakes be careful what you trust for “love”!
2 Likes
Even after you found out about all that do you or can you still trust him to be loyal to you?
He’s in a relationship with her he values her to much for just a co worker
Unfortunately that’s an environment that sets the stage for infidelity to happen quite easily. Trust your instincts because they are probably right.
18 Likes
Wrong wrong wrong on every level.
1 he should have told you from the start OR not let her stay at all (totally inappropriate)
2 a room was offered to her it should have been taken
3 sight seeing and doing things a normal man does with his wife or family BIG NO NO
4 telling her you had an issue should have stayed between you two
5 changing normal habits is definitely way off and seems like he was trying to impress her
I could go on for days so wrong on so many levels
7 Likes
Seems like an entire two weeks of BS that was never intended for you to know about and I’d be way more pissed and causing a scene than you. As for actions when being back and eating healthy and drinking he didn’t before I’d sure be sus of as well.
9 Likes
Whether he actually cheated or not is not the issue here.
This entire situation was wrong from the beginning.
Red flags ALL OVER THE PLACE!
34 Likes
If her staying at a hotel on the company’s dime was an option then that’s exactly how it should’ve been. She had no reason to stay with him…NONE! From all you’ve said it was possibly just a 2 week rondavue. Just my thoughts. She stayed because she could and he let her because he wanted her there. Otherwise she would of went to the PAID FOR BY COMPANY MOTEL! I bet he wouldn’t have tolerated it if you let another man stay 2 weeks with you!
21 Likes
He’s cheating. All I’m saying is, I really hope you’re strong enough to not be one of those women to just sit and act like it isn’t happening… get out of there girl.
12 Likes
Ur hubby was wrong and sounds like this could have been completely avoided had he not been selfish and thinking of his own self. Him going with this woman to the paces u had planned to go to with him is very disrespectful on his behalf again. sounds like she made ur man think about a different style of living and it sounds like that life is not gonna include u and the kids. Yeah his dieting alone would be suspect enuf for me to not trust him any further, considering hes decided t ok daye another woman and go to the places u 2 had plans to go to alone. Id definately get to the bottom of the situation with ur hubby.
9 Likes
Red flags he doesn’t respect you or your feelings amd is trying to impress this other woman instead of his wife
17 Likes
Trust your gut. He’s cheating. You have all the red flags hun.
6 Likes
He only told you because he got caught. Not out of respect for you. He’s been hiding this from you and that’s a complete betrayal of trust.
6 Likes
Your husband sounds like a cheater . Sorry to say
4 Likes
Weird.
I can say I would react and cause a scene because what the hell was he thinking?
3 Likes
sad…sounds like a chris watts and nicole kessinger kinda thing.next thing you know theyll be plotting on you😬be careful😉
2 Likes
Sorry but he’s doing things the co worker likes? And fighting with you over her? Honey he’s already cheated on you. Those red flags 
you aren’t sure of? They are in your face.
2 Likes
I would really be pissed…
3 Likes
So Many Red Flags go with your gut!
I would have showed up day 1 and I would have filed for divorce after I got arrested for tearing that house to the ground with the wrecking ball I rented.
1 Like
Unpopular opinion doesn’t sound like he was cheating. I’m confused about why they didn’t stay at a hotel. On the fence and my opinion is bias. I’ve gone out to dinner with a coworker and showed him around town. Of course that meant I got home late Strictly business. I wasn’t interested in discussing details with my insecure other half. I just told him I was working late. Life was peaceful that way.
Sounds like a opportunity for his maybe mid life crisis! She knew what she was doing!!!
5 Likes
Why are all of you like, oh he has already cheated? Can you not be friends with someone of the opposite sex and keep your fucking hands to yourself? Most of my friends are male and if I told my husband I’m going to stay at their place for the two weeks I’m out of town he would say, enjoy the beers and say hi for me. You obviously do not trust your husband and that is your own issues not the woman who is there just for work and put in the same situation as your husband all alone to do thing by themselves. Believe it or not adults can actually interact with each other without having sex! This blows my mind that you think this is the woman’s fault and not your own insecurities towards yourself and your relationship. You obviously need to take a deep look at what your doing with him if he cant even go out for dinner and some sights with a woman because you get jealous.
He has his own house for business trips? This isn’t his first rodeo girlfriend. He’s a player.
Girl! Nope. My now ex did the same then left his family at Christmas for her
13 Likes
He is hot for the co worker… probably already screwing around with her
Honey the man cheated on you!
He’s entertaining her emotions for some reason….
If the reverse were true would he feel disrespected by you doing that to him? Probably yes, so yes he disrespected you and those are red flags
5 Likes
He doesn’t have a house there, y’all have a house…you don’t bring another woman into your house without asking for trouble. Bitch would have been at a hotel and she could hire a tour guide
1 Like
That’s cheating and you should divorce him and sounds like a cheater
That’s his girlfriend not a coworker
4 Likes
I’m not going to say he’s cheating because we honestly don’t know. But I will say this is a recipe for disaster.
15 Likes
Next time he goes out of town make an unexpected visit late at night.
She’s just as disrespectful as him…
Throw the man away Sis!
1 Like
Cheating… no way he planned all of that without having mentioned it without evil intentions
1 Like
…he is gaslighting the ever loving FFFF out of you!!! Oh my GOD!!!
Furthermore, just a coworker wouldn’t FIGHT with a coworker over their FREAKING WIFE! OR STAY WITH THEM AT THEIR HOUSE FOR 2 WEEKS.
Kick his ass out !!!
HEEELLLLLLLLLL NOOOOOOOO.
HES LUCKY YOU WERE NICE.
FK THAT HES GAS LIGHTING.
NOOOOPPEEEEEE. 
I’m mad for you
Sweetheart he’s cheating
Ask the bitch if she needs some of your Valtrex until she’s seen by a doctor…watch the truth roll out her mouth then!
Are you divorced yet?
1 Like
Nope NOPE NOPE 
follow that gut feeling is all I can say!!!
1 Like
He’s definitely cheating gtfo
1 Like
Why you tripping over HER?
I’d be full throttle on my husbands ass for disrespecting me!
I’d NEVER belittle myself to beef with another woman over MY own man!
3 Likes
Fuck that… Disrespectful AF that’s what that is…
1 Like
Terrible disrespect.
4 Likes
I can’t believe how people jump to the instant CHEATER. In all the years you been with him has he given you reason to think he cheats? Trust is the thing many people lose so fast and easily. Ask him, have a deep conversation, or are you afraid too.
5 Likes
Nope, nada, hell to the NO, PERIOD!!!
I can’t with these posts anymore 
don’t be letting your husband get comfortable yall, they need to know if they don’t act right the first time there ain’t gonna be no second 
6 Likes
HIS FIRST WEB OF DECEPTION HE WEAVED WAS NOT TELLING YOU UP FRONT THAT ONE OF THE CO WORKERS WAS A FEMALE.
This, I’m sure was known up front in plenty of time to tell you before he EVEN invited her to stay.
3 Likes
May be time to move in with him instead of him living away from you for weeks at a time .
I would NOT be ok with this… OK stay at the house… but definitely NOT go sight seeing when u were meant to do those things together…
Ur gut feeling is telling u the truth… it is not ok.
4 Likes
Somethings up ! Obvs.
2 Likes
He may have felt obligated to be a host to her. I don’t understand why she wasn’t able to just tag along with you 2 or vice versa? Why is everything so divided? That could have caused him identity issues.
6 Likes
Even if he didn’t cheat, he lied and disrespected you when there was no need (she had another place to go).
3 Likes
Uh. No ma’am. You should have put your foot down on the first thing he omitted/lied to you about in this situation. And if he had any respect for you or your marriage he would never for a second have thought any woman staying there alone with him for any amount of time would be ok. Something is not right here. Stand guard. Stand firm. Stand strong. Do not be walked over and do not be treated in a way you do not derserve. If there are red flags it might be time to leave honey.
1 Like
My crazy ass would had done a surprise visit during sleeping hours 
I just read this to my man… he said “helll no red flags all over! 
he’s eating healthy for her that’s bad”
4 Likes
Absolutely disrespectful to his wife!! Shame on him !!
1 Like
I’m sorry but you should be living with him instead of him living alone a married couple should never live apart unless separating for divorce
1 Like
While yes, jumping to conclusions and not trusting is wrong, but there are so many red flags. One, he didn’t tell you about her staying and she could have stayed at a hotel on company money, so not out of pocket for her? So he went out of the way to allow her to stay with him. Then he wasn’t allowing her to go out alone, he always had to go out with her? She is a grown woman and is capable of going to dinner alone or sightseeing by herself. I could see once or maybe twice. He started changing his personal habits when she came into the picture? Unless they are best friends that have a really strong bond and he normally changes himself on advice from friends, this is the biggest red flag. He should have been straight up from the get go, said he offered her to stay without you asking, and let her know that there were some places he couldn’t go because yall had plans for those.
4 Likes
Big red flag …you married a cheater …congrats 
2 Likes
He’s cheating or his intent is to cheat. Do your best to Un attach and let him go
5 Likes
And dear u should have rounded up u guys children head down there n yell surprise and kick that home wrecker in the making out
8 Likes
Invite a man friend to come stay the night with you while he’s gone 
I bet he couldn’t handle that
22 Likes
That’s pretty shady, dear. That never should have happened at all. Any of it. I’d be very sparing with the trust at this time. He seems smart enough to know better so that tells me at the least he has some kind of attraction to the coworker. They are both knowingly pushing the boundaries and that is dangerous territory.
10 Likes
Oh no he totally caught the feels. And even if he didn’t do anything, he was feeling something.
21 Likes
I’m going against most of these comments but men are stupid. I can see him not wanting her to be left out so he said just join us. The co worker has her hand in this as well. She knew he was married and could have got a room as well. Your husband invite his workers as a whole not knowing she would stay longer. She showed him a few new things like eating healthy and relaxing after work. If your husband is telling you everything he did he isn’t cheating. He didn’t have to say anything and you would never know. You know how many women on her husbands work out of town and as wife’s we don’t ask for a play by play of there day and honestly most men wouldn’t even remember. He said it couldn’t happen again and that’s the end. So you both take it as a lesson learned and if it happens again then that’s a problem bec
10 Likes
I’m impressed that you’re still calling him your husband…
10 Likes
This is why I’m happy to be single. Can’t trust no one.
6 Likes
I’m gonna leave this here . . .
6 Likes
If he doesn’t see the issue with this situation, maybe he has already checked out from the marriage. It’s quite disrespectful IMO.
12 Likes
What would you do if your daughter or sister or even mother came to you with this exact scenario?
6 Likes
Even if they didn’t have sex or any kind of relationship he still disrespected you,
Out of respect for you he should have told her to go to the free motel, if he truly loved you something would’ve clicked in his head to make him know that this doesn’t look right, regardless if nothings happening,you have a relationship with him, not her!
I know how some women are, they’re attracted to married men, they try to get married men so they can feel better about their self! Then if that’s not bad enough they went sightseeing together! Terrible!
For one he’s a shady man married for years don’t mean nothing hun.
He should’ve told you id def be laying down the law too both set boundaries
3 Likes
Beginning of the end…smh.
4 Likes
Ask him would he like it if roles were reversed and it was u w a man coworker? And he probably not cheating but likes the attention, but after a few drinks she may come on to him & he may just feel bad saying no lol!!, this will lead to cheating, this is her game!! Mistresses always get treated better than a wife or girlfriend
6 Likes
Affair waiting to happen if it already hasn’t. Not to be negative but ny husband started acting really weird packing beer in a cooler and staying after work. He didnt even drink beer. Anyway my gut was right I caught him. It was a horrible experience.
5 Likes
He was very disrespectful to have her there. He opened a foothold for the devil.
7 Likes
The writing is on the wall
I hope you clearly see it
She should have stayed at hotel and found another option for her excursions. Get marriage counseling.
Put u a camera in that house girl bc he is cheating!
1 Like
Uhm that’s completely inappropriate. I would bet anything that he was sleeping with her or really wanted to. There’s absolutely no other explanation at all for having her stay there all things considering. Honestly, I would break up with my boyfriend just for that amount of sketchy behavior and complete disrespect.
24 Likes
Trust your gut, get proof, get out, I’m praying for you. Women and men with a little bit of power, well it becomes an aphrodisiac. And some women are the problem in the first place.
I think it’s better to let him go.It is only going to make you feel sick in the end.
red flags are not facts sit dowm amd tall with him voice your concerns in a well mannered way no attitude or accusations. if he gets mad hes cheating if not then you are good but dont take advice from a bunch of hurt people om the internet.