What’s the old bitch going to think when you stop showing up at these functions? 
Fuck her and fuck that!
My EX MIL always found some shit wrong with me.
Thats messed up. Your literally doing your job as a stay at home mom and they still gotta ridicule you on something. Your doing great momma. Hes a grown ass man he can do it himself
I always make my husband’s plate first, if he chooses to eat dinner. If not, he can make his own plate.
Girl in laws can be so crazy. As long as your husband doesn’t share their opinions then I wouldn’t worry about it.
It’s not your responsibility to feed your husband 
The hell with his mom. Tell her to do it. He’s a grown man and can make his own plate.
if he can’t make his own plate and wants to whine about it, let his “mama” make it!
Why didn’t SHE make his plate?? Yanno shes a bad mom!!!
He really needs to divorce his mama
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They need to mind they damn bussiness.Pay no mind what they say.Your husband is a grown man.
Unless his hands are broke he can make his own damn plate 
Your husband needs to put her in her place. Period.
Momma needs to cut that cord and mind her business!!
Throw them both out.
I cooked and if you can not make your plate. Starve!!!
I would love tell you what I think of that POS MIL but just got out of FB jail
Is he a cripple? If not he should be happy you even cook dinner for his entitled ass at all!!! And as for the MIL, put that b**ch back in her box before she gets worse. I know her type
She needs to mind her damn mothafuckin business
Uhhh what? Lol
I mean, everybody got their own way of doing things, but in my house it’s literally random. We just normally feed the kid first, so she won’t bother our food lol he’ll make my plate or I’ll make his 
Whew chilllleeee this is crazy 
tell her to mind her business 
respectfully:sparkles:
I don’t think its a big deal and not worth the argument or drama. If hes okay serving himself there nothing to talk about , and if his mama has a problem with it she can make his plate 
Its okay she feels that way to each their own.
Some cultures and generations it’s the way its expected to be done. If your husband is demanding this of you I would say something to him about it. If it’s just your in-laws I wouldn’t worry about it. Do you and your marriage how you see fit. If she doesn’t like it she can get glad in the same pants she got mad in.
I hate this argument. Do he got two working arms and two working legs? Yes? THEN HE IS A GROWN ASS MAN WHO IS CAPABLE OF MAKING HIS OWN PLATE. Sis make your babies plate and your plate and sit down and eat. As far as your MIL tell her to kiss your ass. If you wanted lessons on being the perfect wife you’d have asked. If baby can’t make his own plate maybe mommy should do it for him. I dont see no man volunteering to make your plate. Tf. Obviously this is a touchy subject with me and I have an attitude over it. 
I make my husband’s plate when I want too, but it’s definitely not expected by him or anyone else.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husbands mom told him he should divorce me because I do not make his plate: Thoughts?
Wow. I hope your husband defended you and pointed out that he is a grown ass man capable of doing it himself and that you are caring for your children. She sounds like a nightmare and I’d for sure have some choice words.
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Lmao, oh hell no.
You tell her if she can’t be respectable of the marriage & wants to speak poorly & put that type of pressure on YOUR children giving them some twisted idea that they are to serve to men then she can find herself excluded from the family you two built together and that your family you two made comes first. So take that toxicity elsewhere, seek counseling, and an apology would be nice.
Dig your feet into the ground & do not let this woman push you. Your partner should also be supportive.
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Well if he can’t make his own plate like a man then why can’t his mommy do it for him since she is so involved with his needs? Just saying. Only kids NEED their plates made by their mother.
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Only children need their plates made by an adult. If he wants his plate made he can hand his plate to you along with his man card and he can have a seat at the little boys table
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Psh…girl please. Don’t change anything in your relationship if you both are happy no matter who doesn’t like it. Your hubby should really speak up too. If he’s fine with it and its his family that’s got a problem then he needs to vocalize and stand up for you. I personally wouldn’t attend any gathering that they’re at for a while and I wouldn’t invite them either until things get sorted out. Good luck 
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I hope your husband defended you. It’s rare I make my husband’s plate because I’m always making sure the kids eat before any of us do. That’s ridiculous your MIL would say that…if this wasn’t a joke and is a reoccurring thing, speak with your husband to see if he will say something and if he doesn’t, they need cut out
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Wow! How rude of them! I always ask my partner if he wants me to make his plate and he says no unless he’s really tired. He likes to do it himself has for many years! Should you divorce him because he doesn’t get you a cleaner so you can spend more time with your children? What a rude piece of work. I’d make it very clear at the next dinner and make them make their own plates to. Hopefully they divorce you instead 
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My husband makes my plate lol but no that’s not something to get divorced over, he’s a grown man he can make his and yours plate while you make the kids plate, if it wasn’t for my husband making mine and letting me eat while he takes care of the kids I probably wouldn’t get to eat at family gatherings. I’d have to tell her That’s not how things are done now and to mind your business if husband didn’t do so.
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I feel a conversation should be had. Try using a directing statement to keep things non-judgemental. I feel ____ , when you ____. I would like it if _____. If a certain situation has me feeling invalidated, I try to be curious instead. I would also set boundaries and if they can’t or won’t respect them just tell them " I need for our communication to be respectful, I would be willing to have this conversation at another time.’ You could even go further to ending the relationship if you feel that is best. I think after you’ve had the conversation you could create a pros and cons list of what the impact of ending the relationship is.
My husband and I have no gender roles in our household and both equally do what is needed in the house and sometimes carry the extra weight for the other when we can see each other having a hard time.
Wow sounds like someone has control issues. My husband fixes his own dish. He is an adult not a child, and when our children were young there was no way he would have had me fix him a dish. My kids got taken care of by ME, he helped out at times, but I sure did not wait on my husband. Plus neither did my mom wait on my dad or my sisters wait on their husbands.
You are not a bad mom for taking care of your children’s and your own needs. I’d pack a lunch for my man (that I don’t actually have) but I don’t think I would be making a plate for him unless he had a baby in his arms and could use a little help.
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I can help! Bring her to my house for dinner! She’ll be thankful he married YOU after that!
I DO serve my husband in every way I possibly can. However, he does his laundry, and fixes his own plate. He’s the absolute most wonderful human on the planet and there is nothing I wouldn’t do for him… except fix his plate! And cook his food most of the time. And his laundry. And load the dishwasher. And… well, you get it. For real though, if he needed me to, I would!
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Your husband needs to kindly point out to his family that we’re no longer in the 1950’s and that he is a grown ass man. If he refuses to do so, let him go home to mom and she can wait on him.
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Mother in law needs a date check!! My husband once tried to say something about me making his plate, I looked him dead in the face and said you have two hands…I had just spent over a hour with the kids walking around the campground with them complaining they were tired and hungry. So for him to say make my plate, I wasn’t nice. I don’t make his plate, I work outside of the home and do things at home (dishes, laundry, clean, dinner) and kids…he works outside of home as well…and is very capable of making his own plate!
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I’m a stay at home mom and my fiancé works full time (he’s taking school rn and is on ei temporarily) and we always go 50/50 on chores as well as parental responsibilities. If your husband has no issue with it then who cares what anyone else thinks. And if it is an issue for him then I would set some clear boundaries. Cuz that’s a huge red flag.
Girl, I make his plate, he makes my plate, he makes the kids plates, whatever works at the moment, we’re a family so we all pitch in.
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Don’t let other people talking about you bother you, you can’t please everyone, his parents are from a different era where you had a mom home and could survive on one paycheck. As long as you and your hubby are good don’t worry about it, maybe speak up tell her to make his plate she has time to complain she can jump
In and help out !
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That’s bs! I would go off! I can’t stand crap like that! He is a grown ass man! She’s still babying him, which is ridiculous! I hope he stood up for you!
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I make my sons plate then my boyfriends if he is around but that’s cuz I hate when people are in the kitchen when I’m cooking and its easier for me. But everybody’s relationship is different and your MIL should mind her own damn business.
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Didn’t she raise a man that can make his own plate of food? Do you have to cut and pre chew it next? Tell her to go to hell and if he don’t back you up tell him the same. See who makes his plate when he is single.
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I make my son’s plate and my husband normally makes both our plates . He is a grown man and he knows how much he’s going to eat. I usually pack his lunch after we eat because he works nights. If he’s not complaining then what of it. If she so worried about him making his plate tell her when dinner is ready and she can come make his plate
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Might be a culture thing… I know a lot of mothers like this and I was taught this way too and I do it out of habit. But I think we also look out for each other. If I’m busy tending to the kids, he’ll sometimes make my plate. Otherwise, I always make his and we always eat together
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Yeah, I would kick her out the door for saying that trash and her son can fallow if he feels the same. This is a partnership and you’re no one’s slave.
You are doing an extremely good job and rocking that mom life
I’m sorry that you even feel the need to explain why you don’t fix his plate.
You’re both grown. He can fix his plate. If it were something he would like you to do, he should politely bring it up to you and ask you how you feel about it. Basic communication. Then the 2 of you decide on it.
I sure hope he sticks up for you if it’s brought up to him by his family. And as far as they are concerned, fuck em. Sounds like they need a hobby.
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That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. I tell my husband this ain’t no damn restaurant. I cooked, you can make your own plate. He doesnt have an issue with it
The real question is how does your husband feel ?
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My husband would look at them and laugh and say she takes care of the house and our daughter that is still at home and then tell them that he makes me my plate and brings it to me some folks are crazy
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You’re his wife not his caretaker. Don’t let anyone disrespect you like that. She’s his mother and if it’s such an issue, she can make his plate. Prayers for you and your patience because that’s absurd.
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I would tell them he has 2 hands and 2 legs and he can do it himself !
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I 100% agree that he is a grown man and can get his own darn plate! Does he ever offer to help get the kids plates?.. I just hope that your husband turns around to his family and stands up for you by telling them that you do enough around the house and with the kids that you don’t need to get his bloody plate for him.
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I don’t either, he cooks, serves my plate, calls me once everything is served, and cleans the kitchen all the time. While he’s in the kitchen, my kids (14 and 8 yrs) and I are doing other chores in the house. Making a plate does not make him less than a man.
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To me, the real question is, how did your husband respond?
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Your mother in law is out of line!! Hopefully he sees your outstanding qualities and loves the awesome job you do!!
Ask her if she wants you to cut it in to bite size peaces for him and blow on it too so its not too hot!
As mother in laws go… she sounds like a fun one. Id be limiting her time with your kids if she cant respect your family dynamics. Maybe she wants him back so she can run his baths and feed him alphabet spaghetti!
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However it works for y’all then keep doing it…
I personally get my husband plate, but that how I was raised (my grandma and my aunt did it)…
Don’t listen to them if your husband is ok with getting his plate then let him…
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I would divorce his MOTHER and the rest of his family… his a MAN… not a child who needs to be hand fed surely 
Momma raised a boy,tell her to make a boys plate if it bothers her so much ,and hubby should not be entertaining momma’s crap,sounds rather toxic to me.
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Um what year is she living in!? Women have come a long way!! Its whatever works for the relationship…girl don’t let his mom get to you. Tell your hubby to stand up for himself and you and your relationship if he can’t then tell him to go home to mommy…
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I would cut them off. I hope your husband told them to mind their place. My husband not only will get his own food he will make me a plate as well. Absolutely ridiculous this is not the 1950s !
They shouldn’t even be in his ear and he shouldn’t even be listening to them or letting them talk down on you… Folks need to mind their own business
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I only laughed because
He has hands, he can make his own plate. I make the kids plates and that’s all.
Kids eat first in my house.
You are not a bad wife because you dont serve your husband…
My husband’s step mom was the same way . hey I feel he knows exactly how much he wants .so unless he is totally exhausted and or handicapped they are capable of fixing there own plate .I also had cousins that thought I was wrong.
My husband and I have A son a daughter 4 grandsons and 2 great grandsons . We are both in our 60s so I guess I’m doing something right. My Mommy and My sister n law didn’t fix daddy or My brothers plates they had enough respect that at the kitchen table they served their selfs. Mommy and Daddy stayed married until Mommy died. My brother and his wife married 55 year’s she died 2 yrs ago . My husband and I are almost 45 year’s.
Let em talk I know it hurts but usually it’s because they know you don’t have to wait on them like they are children.
When my wife went to one of our first family get togethers with my family someone said diner is ready all the women jumped up and started fixing plates. They fixed all of the children’s plates and then started fixing all the men’s plates. I got up and fixed my on plate. They looked at my girlfriend like she was a Marshin. Just so you know, her and I have been married for 45 years. Would not trade her for anyone I have ever known.
Oh hell no! Tell her to shut up and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine if she has no room to talk about u like that, your husband is a grown ass man his arms and hands ain’t broken he can fix is own damn plate, I would cut the apron strings with the family all together, talk to your husband and tell him that it hurts your feelings that they think u aren’t a good wife, u bend over backwards enough to keep your head above water, hopefully your husband has your back, and hopefully your husband stands up to his mom for talking about u in a unmannered way
Cant understand why your husband doesnt answer her to shut her up, obviously she feels entitled to say this. He is the one has to stop it. If his mum is so concerned, why doesnt she get the plate for her little boy herself then? 
Don’t cut them off just state he’s a big boy ,he can take care of himself while I tried to care for the twins better yet Daddy you take one and feed him !
Lmaooo they would definitely hate me. When we go to my husband’s family get together’s he’s the one that gets up and makes me a plate 
and we’re Mexican… it’s supposed to be the other way around so I know for a fact they talk about me
Gosh these in laws…ridiculous! No ma’am, you are doing a good job as a wife and a mom. It is not their job to tell you how to be a “wife”. Just tell him how you feel about it and not worry about this mom. Please!!!..
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His mom should realize times have changed. Wives will fix their husbands plates if able but I definitely agree with you. He is very able.
All I have to say is, she must be old. That’s the way it used to be, but it’s not anymore. When she was young, I’m sure she didn’t work outside of the home. Now everyone has to carry their own weight - yes, even around the house.
If mom’s so worried about her son,then mom can make his plate, she ought to be used to it anyway,is he a mama’s boy too? Good grief,good luck
Normally my husband helps me make the children plates and then we make our own together. I don’t think that is a very good reason at all for a divorce. You both are to care for the children first and then each other. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law both make their spouses plates first as does my best friend but I am not here to cater to his needs first, we are here together to cater for our children’s needs first and we both agree on that. I ensure my house is clean, food is cooked, laundry is done and he helps even when he is done with work. We are equally a team together but we both make sure the other is valued to each other and that isn’tdetermined by if I make his food or he makes mine.
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Um no. It’s not 1946. It’s 2021! A grown ass man can make his own food especially when his wife is providing for their children. Id tell her to sit down and mind her manners. What a snatch.
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So it cooking his meal just not plating it? And there kicking a fuss… I’d talk to hubby and ask if he has a problem if he doesn’t I’d tell them we both are happy with everything so let’s mind our business shall we.
I saw a video of something similar as to what you talking about. Tell your husband to stand up for you at these get togethers and any other time mom decides she wants a place in your marriage. Obviously you are doing enough for your home/marriage, her input and opinion doesn’t matter.
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He should be helping you get the kids plates and then when the kids are taken care of you two can make your own plates
Kids should always be fed first. He’s grown he can make his plate!
I am wondering who told you this? If it was your husband, he is on your side. If he didn’t he also was probably not wanting you to get upset. He probably knows just what his mother is, …a nosey person. Don’t worry about it
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No you are not wrong & at that point your husband should have stood up for you! I’d talk to your husband about it & have him put his family in check!
I’ve lived in pure Hell for 36 years because l’ve never been accepted by my husband’s family. He won’t speak up for me either. Speak up for yourself and limit get togethers for your own sanity and for your children’s best interests.
I did not do my husbands plate but set all on the table and if he wanted something pass the dish for him to help himself He worked weird hrs so many time I would go ahead and feed the kids
You tell his Karen ass mother to mind her own mf business and worry about her own marriage, if she don’t like it bye Felicia!! Don’t ever let your mother in law butt in where she doesn’t belong period!
I would definitely have a talk with your mother in law unless she already knows how you feel about certain things. But the main thing is that your his wife not his mother. She may be used to making his plate but that isn’t your job. Sure here and there if you want but like you said you also have babies to take care of. If you don’t mind making his plate then there is nothing wrong with that and if you don’t care to then that’s totally fine too. As of moms and wives we take care of a lot around the house and the kids. As like others have said I hope he stands up for you or on your side at the least. Just remember it’s your marriage between you two not the rest of the family. Good luck lady, stand tall!
Your husband is a grown man! He can get his own! His mama needs to cut the apron strings…
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He’s big enough to fix his own plate. He should help you take care of the kids. Let his Mama fix his plate.
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They are full of crap. He’s an adult, he can fix his own. He should be helping with the kids
As a wife who fixes my husband’s plate, if he expected it I wouldn’t do it. I don’t always do it. Sometimes it is to simply keep him out of my way in the kitchen. I think the bottom line in all of this is how he defended you when this came up. Marriage is not held to the standard it is supposed to be anymore. His mother should be ashamed for suggesting splitting a family for something so ridiculous! Does she have any idea what a split family feels like?
Let him go sister if he agrees with them sister. Such a masochistic way of life. I do not now, nor will I EVER make my husband’s plate before my kids, EVER. F that noise.
Have I ever made his plate? Sure, when I want to. Have I ever been told I HAVE to? Nope. If I wouldn’t be married anymore .
He’s an adult! He can dish up for himself. I would confront them.
Mom needs to stay in her place. If your husband is happy and understanding that’s all that matters
Tell his Mommy to fix his damn plate…tell her she’s not doing her job as a mommy🤣
If your Husband defended you, ID take the high road and go about my life. If he agrees with his Mom, ID be seeking a therapist and/or attorney.
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Cutting them off is not okay. He can make his own plate. Occasionally it does not hurt to make his plate. That is obviously how it is done at his parents. You need to remember that his parents. Divorce is not alright at all.
What kind of Mom was she, who raised a man who can’t make a plate, who’s so shallow that the thing that matters most in a marriage is putting cooked food on a plate? Not that this is really your husband’s issue but please, Mom…get some perspective. She’s just a sad woman who will find anything to complain about!
Does he have two broken arms? He should be helping his wife fix the kids plates…
I have never fixed a plate for a man and don’t plan on it as far as his family if he’s any type of a man he would defend you always
Sounds like my mother in law , he’s a grown man he can make his own plate .
Seems like she just wants to coodle him .