Husband and I have been together for 2 years. He has a child from a different relationship and he is 5 and I have two older kids from another relationship. His mother only wants to spend time with the child he had before we met. Every weekend. Taking trips with just him and doing things with just him. I had asked her to include the oldest two as they felt left out. I suggested getting the kids in rotation and was met with mostly a negative response. Am I the Ass? Should I push to have the in-laws be fair to the older kids? Or drop the issue and explain to my oldest children that the relationship is different
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How old are the eldest 2
My parents struggled sometimes caring for my own children whilst I was at work. I cannot even imagine them having to cope with my partnerâs child as well. I wouldnât put that weight on them if they donât make the offer themselves. I am also separated and I have never expected my partners parents to take my children with his daughter. I donât think is their responsibility.
Do they show love to your children during visits? I mean, if they show love to them and are nice people, you shouldnât judge them for not taking your kids on trips/holidays as they are not really your childrenâs grandparents.
Nope. If they canât treat them fairly and love them equally, they donât get to spend time with any of them. This is bull$#!% to treat children this way!
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If she canât accept all the children she shouldnât get any of the children. That my rule with my mil
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Drop it she wont change
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My MIL tried this. I went off and told my husband to address it I would. He did. Lol. He told her âTreat them the same or forget you have grandkids. You wonât disrespect my son like that. I married his mother, he is now my son. Act accordingly or you arenât welcome at our homeâ
She starightened up real quick.
Talk to your husband. Have the kids tell him how they feel. If he respects you, heâll step in.
Youâll have a choice if he doesnât. Take your kids on trips those times or leave.
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Adults can be jerks. I personally could never leave a child out but some grandparents do. They only want something to do with the biological grandkids. I donât think youâre an ass. I would be upset too if it was my kids. I wouldnât push it tho. If you want nothing to do with my children then your loss not theirs.
You canât force a relationship that isnât there.
It might not be fair but they can have a relationship with their biological grandchild.
Yes it would be nice if they included the older kids but it doesnât sound like she wants to.
This is an example of teaching kids that life isnât fair and just telling them the relationship is different.
When the other child is with the grandparents do something special with the older kids.
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So where are your kids grandparents, thatâs their job not your in laws job.
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You either get all kids or none!
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Youâre correct itâs not fair but do you really want your older children around your in laws who doesnât want to include them? It could backfire and they could end up treating them terribly if theyâre alone with them cause they donât accept them. Itâs up to you if you want to push it or not but if it was me I wouldnât. You can also say none of the kids go if only one is included too. It really depends on how your husband treats your older kids and how he reacted to his parents singling out just one of the children (his child) but not the others. If it was met negatively by your husband and his parents then you may need to rethink the whole situation and see if itâs truly how you want your children treated
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I gave up on that⊠lol let it go.
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Donât force it because she still wonât love them the way they deserve. You donât want them to long for a relationship with someone that never planned to have one.
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Donât try to send them off with someone who doesnât want them. Theyâd just be miserable. Do your parents spend time with them?
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Thatâs tough but 2 years really isnât that long, & maybe older kids feel harder to connect with to them, especially if thereâs no biological relation. Where are their grandparents? Do they have a relationship? I donât know that Iâd try to keep them from having a relationship with their actual bio grandbaby bc it makes yours feel left out. Iâm sure itâs hard to watch as a mom, but itâs kind of a harsh reality that they arenât required to include your kids to have a relationship with their grandson if thatâs not a call your husband is willing to make, & asking him to could bite you in the long run.
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Hmmmm, tough! Do the kids want a relationship? Iâd start there!
This is terrible! I treat my âbonus grandkidsâ the same as my blood grandson!
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Iâd say let it go and donât go over or have anything to do with her if she wonât treat all the kids equally. Unless your husband will agree with not letting her see his child anymore if she wonât include everyone.
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Where are thier grand parents? She isnât obligated to yours. In a perfect world maybe. Let it go
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She should be ashamed of herself. To treat the other children like that is terrible. Iâd get the point across to my husband and have him discuss this with her too. Iâm sorry for your situation and think itâs unfair to them.
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You definitely do NOT want your older kids being around nasty people like that. They may get stranded somewhere. People who are that hard hearted are a waste of time and you donât want your kids to suffer.
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They wldnt be getting the other if they canât them all. Or at least have something to do with them. Been in the same situation before. Never gets any betterđ„ș
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Its normal for her to be closest to her bio kids. Its not a big deal!
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Me personally, I would leave it alone. Iâm not for pushing my kids on no one that doesnât naturally want to have a relationship with them. However, I grew up similar to your children and I definitely felt the difference being made so I can understand your concerns. Thatâs a tough position to be in as a mother
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Just because you and her husband accepts each other non-bio children doesnât mean extended family have to. Is it wrong to exclude them, absolutely. But yâall canât force a relationship or tell a child he canât see his grandma or grandad because she doesnât want to deal with yours. Where are your childrenâs grandparents? I would let it go tbh . Itâs an unfortunate situation but some things/people donât change.
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Has your husband made it clear that those are his children just as much as his youngest child? Maybe he needs to state that extremely clearly to his mother because even though she probably knows, it will cement it in her brain. I also wouldnât give up entirely. You can explain more than just feeling left out. Tell her how they feel like they arenât a part of the family and how deeply hurt they are. Maybe she will realize her actions are really serious. Iâd even suggest taking the 2 older ones on a trip without the youngest so she can bond with them. No you canât force a relationship but if sheâs not a terrible person than maybe you can build one. The youngest might always be the favorite but at least the other two will have some sort of connection with her. And if she still refuses then I would deny access to the younger child. Put your foot down. Those babies are all equal and if she canât treat them equally then she cannot have time with just one of them.
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We have the rule of itâs all of them or none of them.
My step grandpa thatâs been in my life my whole life wanted to buy my daughter a Christmas present this year and not my two bonus kids. Heâs never bought them gifts. But this past yr I had my own daughter and he asked what she wanted so naturally I sent him stuff for them all and he said theyâre tight on find so heâs only buying for biological family this yr. Which with him being as much my family as my bonus kids that didnât sit right so I told him if he canât afford the stuff for all of them to not bother (I sent under $10 gift ideas) cuz itâs not right. They are all of our kids not just the one I carried
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You came as a package, your mother In law canât jusy pick one child over others that isnât fair so she either soends time with them all or none at all its not fair for the children to watch then going off to spend time with gran parents etc while their being left out its not on no⊠lesson here is when it comes to familys you treat them all the same weather is kids, gran kids etc you didnât come single you came as kids so they should be part of the family to and should he welcomes with open armsâŠ
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Let it go. You canât force something that isnât there and I wouldnât want to force my kids on someone, Iâd be worried theyâd be treated badly. Is it unfair? Yes, but itâs a good opportunity to have a teaching moment with your kids. And you can frequently remind your husband the reason you never get kid free weekends.
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Donât force anything. Iâm glad my stepfathers parents always included my brother and I even after they divorced. Still to this day theyâve been divorced and family still includes us. Some people just donât know how love u biological family members and itâs sad.
I get wanting them to be included, as a mom with 2 kids from previous marriage and a 3rd on the way with my fiancĂ©, I also worry about this. My fiancĂ©s mom is getting them Easter baskets- which is nice and appreciated but wasnât expected, but hoped for. Idk if my ex will take the new baby for visits or not, we do week on/week off with our 2 kids, but the kids have asked since to them itâs just another sibling- they are young so the thought of separate dads donât mean anything to them. That being said, I wouldnât want my kids feeling left out, but my parents are involved in all the kids lives, my exs parents are in my first 2 kids lives, and my fiancĂ©s are including all 3 kids- so I worry about the new baby feeling left out if his sisters go away every other week and he doesnât
This is a very difficult situation. From my experience, my parents âfavorâ(for lack of a better word, even though this one is ugly) my kids, and my brothers stepson does not get the same âfavorâ, I donât believe itâs every outrightly shown, my parents love their step grandson, but my kids are not only blood, but the main reason is theyâve been in my kidsâ lives since day one, as much as nobody wants to admit it, or feel it. When youâve been involved in a kidsâ life weekly since day one, it IS a different relationship. But no kid should have to feel like that. Iâd talk to her express your concerns and ask her if she could include your kids more, explain how they feel. I currently only have 1 grandbaby and he is absolutely the light of my life. But would I feel different towards a step grandchild? Possibly, it only marginally, and would never let it outwardly show. Maybe they just need some more time to âget thereâ.
Wow, she is not a nice lady. How can she exclude your kids. SMH 
I would have an issue with thatâŠbut you canât change her. Explain to your kids as much as as you can for their age. That sucks. 
It may not be right but sheâs not obligated to your kidsâŠnobody is. Your husband signed up for that not her or the rest of his family. Explain to your kids the situation and move on. On the days she takes her grandchild make a day with your kids.
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Honestly, coming from a blended family, it was you and your partner who decided to blend your kids that does not mean that everybody else around is automatically meant to view this the same way you do. I love my step kids and Iâm glad my parents are really great and accept them but I would never expect them to do for my step kids what they do for their biological grandchildren. I donât care if I get hate for this⊠like I said Iâm really luckyïżŒ that my family so beautiful but it was never an expectation of them to accept our new normalïżŒ
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This shit is always at the childrenâs expense. Please pm me her contact bcz Iâll be happy to tell her this is too much to have to explain to children that theyâre not included. How about donât let her take the kid unless she takes em all. If its about money she may save to take them all together from time to time. SUCH BS FOR KIDS!
Hmm where are their grandparents and do they take your stepson too or is it just your husbandâs family that doesnât take yours but takes their grandchild? Not saying they shouldnât be included but it needs to be fair all the way around âŠI wouldnât force them and I also wouldnât give them an ultimatum as to saying if they donât get yours they canât see their grandchild
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Let it go itâs her loss! And do you really want your children around someone who doesnât want them but is forced to take them??
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It shouldnât be different. But some people are assholes
Been there done that. Speak up. Yâall made a blended family and if the grandparents canât understand that, then they lose rights. Be fair to all or to none. None of the in between shit. Rotation seems like a a great way to spend one on one time with each child. Stand your ground. Plus hubby needs to speak up. Hope everything works out.
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Just out of curiosity, is the problem with the mother of the kids or the MIL? Either way, kids should be accepted 100% or none at all!!! If your husband isnât sticking up for you, he should!!! If not then you need to have a chat with him regarding the kids and including them all!!! Hope things get better mama! 
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She never said how old her kids are Iâm just woundering if maybe the are teenagers and she knows they are busy doing things with friends.When they become teenagers they would rather be doing something with friends instead of a grandparent maybe thatâs the problem.
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You donât want your kids anywhere they arenât appreciated. They will still know the difference that itâs forced and they are unwanted. Itâs sad. She should be ashamed and I would limit the time spent with her favorite. Just so they can be treated more fairly maybe sheâll get the hint.
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I mean two years is still in the getting to know you stage in my opinion. My advice would be to facilitate gatherings and opportunities for everyone to be together, like gatherings, Sunday dinner, lunch dates, that type of thing⊠and allow them the chance to build a bond naturally. It takes time and you canât force that kind of stuff. In hindsight maybe bringing it up to your husbands mom wasnât the best way to go about it. I would say leave those types of discussions between the mother and son because itâll likely be better received.
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Nope thats not onâŠyour husband has to tell them to treat them all the same or not at allâŠ
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Well I til the day that u are married she does not have to include the others
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My rule is if you canât do it for all the kids you canât do it with just one of them
They seem to be treating the one kid because itâs his son and their blood which isnât fair on your kids as youâre now a blended family
What does your husband have to say about this ?
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Had this happen to my family my hubs and had a son prior to me and I also had a son his parents did not want nothing to do with my son as he is not blood however my family was opened arms to his son. We have two more children together and the grandparents still only spend time with his oldest son. I fought them on it as it hurt my son bad however the once started to open up to him but it felt forced and no bond really being made so I stopped it told them if they want to see the oldest thatâs fine pick him up at the gas station on the corner as youâre not welcome at my house! They never even call my little ones so what is the point.
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They will figure that out on their own.
The biggest thing isnât pushing them to spend time with family that doesnât make effort to spend time with them equally.
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Would you trade self respect for a forced relationship?? Your older children are actually NOT her grandkids⊠Your husband may have taken them on ⊠doesnât mean you can FORCE the parents to bond with them⊠My mother used to go above and beyond for my step kids, but not everyone is like that. Which is sad for your kids. Maybe your hubby could ask his mum to include the older kids too . But then you gotta realise that the bond is always gonna be different. That is biology. . life is not so cut and dryâŠ
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Itâs heartbreaking when people donât treat your kids fair or like they deserve. Iâm sorry
I feel this on another level because my future MIL also is like this towards my older kids that came from a previous relationship AND she herself had kids from 2 different relationships so her being that way was very surprising to me, I really thought sheâd understand. Apparently she was also like that towards my fianceâs now grown adopted daughter. Iâve considered canceling my engagement to him a few times because the idea of being apart of a family like that really bothers me and voicing about it hasnât done anything, Ive even thrown out hints that it bothers me to the MIL. I guess in the long run it comes down to how your husband treats your kids rather than extended family thats the most important, I know it sucks but itd be worse to have them hanging out with said grandparents and to be feeling unwelcome the whole time or to be mistreated by them.
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My mom took my bonus baby who is our oldest. itâs not cool to leave kids out
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Iâm 24. My stepdad has been in my life for 23 years now⊠his mother has never treated me the same as any of my cousins or half sisters and it fucking HURTS⊠especially because I never really knew any of my bio dads family until he passed away, so until I was an adult, this was the only family I ever really knew. All I can say is I hope that your MIL opens up to your kids sooner rather than later.
I grew ip in a very blended family. It took a lot longer then two years for everyone to feel like family. You have to realize itâs even harder on extended family. If we/they get to involve to fast and you guys split they lose that child forever. That really messes up the kids and the family that came to love them as their own. Just be patient for now. Do more things as a family with the in laws. Iâm sure they will come around. If they donât itâs their loss and their own bio grandchildren will eventually have a problem with it. ïżŒïżŒ
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I treat my biological grandchildren and my step grandchildren the same, so in your case Iâd not bother with your inlaws and take all the children out for days as a family,
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No one has to include your kids in anything not even there own family, donât rely on other people to include and love your kids the way you do, yourl live a life of disappointment. Sheâs not there grandmother end of story
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Let your side of the family love three at Christmas demand equal or not at all.
I fully understand feeling hurt by the situation as a mother because my childrenâs actual family on their Fatherâs side, as well as their Father, have had NO relationship with them for the past 3 years since I left their Father. It hurts me for my children a lot, but I can gaurantee you that at 5 & 8 years old, they donât even think about it⊠at least not the fact that they donât have a relationship with their grandparents/aunts/cousins⊠I know they wish their Father came around & called more, but they rarely even bring him up and seem to handle it remarkably well since theyâve been used to it since they were 5 & 2 years oldâŠ
Giving your MIL an ultimatum and saying âItâs all of the kids or none of themâ is going to do one of 2 things⊠either make your 5 year old stepson feel abandoned & cut off from his grandmother & potentially grow to resent & blame you & your kids for that rift if she decides ânone of themâ, OR it could make your kids feel super awkward spending time with a woman who was essentially forced to include them⊠Not to mention that if she does take all 3 kids, your kids will definitely FEEL the difference in the way theyâre treated and potentially give them feelings of being unwanted where those feelings may not even already exist with the current arrangement. You canât force someone to care about your kids, & even if you could, the fact that it had to be forced means that your MIL probably isnât capeable of treating your kids with the same love & affection that she treats your stepson. Maybe she knows that sheâs unable to treat them the same, and purposely doesnât ask to see them because she thinks that not taking them would be less painful & awkward for your kids than taking all 3 and having them feel that divide.
We as parents tend to feel hurt for our children far deeper than they themselves even feel it because we understand it on a more adult level. For all we know your kids may not even care that theyâre âleft outâ of a relationship with a woman that they have no bond with anyway⊠but the bigger deal YOU make about it in front of your kids, the more highlighted it will become to them and potentially hurt them even more. Now if you and your husband have another baby together and she wants to just take the 5 year old and the baby, but leaves your 2 kids out, I could see being a little more upset by it and possibly giving her the âitâs all of them or none of themâ ultimatum, but for now, I wouldnât try to fix what isnât broken. Ask yourself, is this really something my kids are hurt about, or just something that hurts me for them? If the answer is no, I would leave it alone.
I have an ex husband whose mother didnât include myself or my children in any kind of way. We were married 6 years and it was so bad that he would literally leave all of us home to go to holiday gatherings at his parents house. I have never been treated so poorly in my life. She made my life miserable and controlled him up to and including his financesâŠhind sight is 2020âŠhopefully you have a man who at least has your back. As far as your kids go it doesnât sound like she would treat them well anyway and I certainly wouldnât force the issue it would only hurt your kids.
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I never understood this. How someone can be so cruel.
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Do not force a relationship when it comes to your kids.
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Shame on THEM ! That is a hurtful thing to do all the way around. Some adults just never grow up. Can you show them a special time when the one child is gone?
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The mil didnât marry u so I would say itâs her choice. U donât want to make people like kids. It always turns out bad.
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Itâs all or nothing with mine
So are the oldest her blood too in confused
For those saying âthey arenât her bloodâ G R O S S JUST GROSS. I hope none of yall get treated the way you think its okay to treat BABIES
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My oldest is my hubs stepson and his family has treated him like theirs since we got together. If that wasnât the case I seriously doubt we would have any contact with them. This was a non-negotiation point when we first got together.
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Well⊠I get this feels wrong but you guys have only been together for 2 years. So I understand completely. They probably donât realize they are doing it, or they donât really see why they should since you guys have only been together for two years. They might not want to get close to children that they canât continue being around if you guys donât work out. Now, if you guys had a baby together in the future, and they do the same thing um YES it will be a problem. Blood related to my son or not, if he is treated a certain way he wonât be around those people or person. Iâd like for him to not have his heart broken when heâs older asking why he is an outcast. However, we wonât have that issue. Say you guys stay together for YEARS and they continue this⊠YES it will be a problem. But for now Iâd just let it go and let things ride out. I donât really see it as malicious unless years down the road they keep this up.
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I wouldnât feel comfortable sending my kids to that type of environmentâŠ
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Donât push it. It will backfire. The kids will always notice who wants to be in their life and who doesnât. To avoid disappointment just be honest with them. I had a similar issue a couple years back when my oldest son wanted to spend the night with a grandparent that wasnât biologically related to him. After multiple refusals to let him stay he realized he wasnât wanted and me and my husband had to talk with him. We basically reminded him of how awesome he is and if anyone doesnât see that then itâs their loss. If anyone doesnât want to spend time with him itâs their loss. He and my middle son got over it and moved past it just like yours will. We did push for them to stay with family members who did want them to spend the night just to help boost their self esteem.
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Get your husband to talk to his parents
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So sheâs not obligated to spend any time at all with kids that are not her blood ! Yes it will hurt them but do special things with them while the other is with the grandparents
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your partner should be the one that talks to his mother to include your kids to some degree after all when he accepted you he accepts all of you guys
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I can see by all the comments hereâŠ. Iâm not following suit with my thoughts or opinion. ButâŠâŠ
Itâs a tough one. As long as sheâs only taking one child and not the others⊠itâs just a constant reminder to your children, that youâre NOT one family!! Itâs a home of â this is mine⊠thatâs yours!â And it should be every thing and every one is OURS!!!
So Iâm guessing sheâs not too keen on your children ever calling her âGrandmaâ?! 
Iâm telling you now⊠the clear and blatant separation of family is going to cause resentment and problems and possibly anger and hatred between your children and his. Thereâs nothing worse for a childâs emotional growth than to feel and be shown âyouâre not wanted, youâre not worthy of my time and youâre certainly not worthy of being loved by usâ! And this is the message sheâs giving to your children. For me, when it comes to my childrenâs emotional well-being⊠this could be a dealbreaker on remaining in that marriage. Iâm sorry I just couldnât sit back and let my children be treated like that! Itâs time to sit down with your husband and have a very serious conversation about how this behavior is affecting your children, and you and how you all feel being in this blended family.
Itâs very disrespectful and cold hearted for a grown woman to think itâs acceptable to treat any child that way.
I sure hope your children donât see and feel that blatant favoritism from your husband as well. 
I sure hope you can get things sorted out and your children can be included as part of the family.
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Growing up, my brotherâs dad and family included me even though I wasnât blood even after the divorce. He picked me up when he picked my brother up and when I got older and expressed to my mom that I was starting to feel out of place, he and my brother talked and the next weekend he took just me. His grandmother decided that the family was treating both us children unfairly around the holidays and threatened to exclude all of their children if it continued. As a kid that meant so much to me because I knew that she nor him had to. Talk to your husband, approach her as a team. DO NOT SETTLE! She needs to grow up and learn acceptance. You guys are a blended family and if she doesnât want to blend then she needs to be removed or severely distanced to the extent possible or this could create animosity amongst the children also as they grow old enough to notice.
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You canât force her to be a part of your kids . He is in a relationship with you and your kids , that doesnât mean the entire family needs to include . It sucks , yes it does . You should maybe have your kids take more part in their side of the family so the feeling left out part is neutralized.
She has no obligation to YOUR children . If your kids see you making a big deal out of it of course they will feel less . If it is normalized a bit more than it will be easier. Take that time and spend it with your kids . Iâm sure they need it girl
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That kid Ăźs her grandson, your kids are not⊠That simple⊠Understand her, tooâŠ
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NEVER beg of force someone to be apart of your kids lives. Never. It creates unnecessary drama and heartache. Be upfront and say, if she doesnât want to be part of their lives their you wonât be forcing her and will be excluding her from the other kids events such as school activities, birthdays family grt togethers etc. Let her be and you go on with your life. She will eventually feel left out. Donât cause strife between yourself and your husband either by being on his case about it. He canât help it. He has probably said something to her before and you just donât know about it.
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You canât force her to spend time with your children even though it would be great if she tried and made them feel included as they are now her step-grandchildren too. But if she isnât willing to include them or make them feel welcome then stop bringing your children around her she doesnât seem that great.
Take that time to spend with your children cause I bet they would love to have you to themselves for a bitâŠ
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Drop the issue and explain to your kids their relationship is different. Why force someone to be around your kids who doesnât want to be? Iâm sorry, I wouldnât want my kids with someone that didnât want them. What an icky feeling.
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Mothering laws are evil !!
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Well !!! Your kids are not related to her and she doesnât have the obligation of including them in her plans , your husband kid is her grandson, I do not understand why you are complaining about it , do your kids grandparents includes his son into their lifeâs ? Probably not.
And you guys been together for just two years itâs not like they meet them since they were little.
Just explain to your kids the issue and stop trying to force them to see your kids as their own.
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You donât do that to kids !!! Thats a mean rotten grandmother⊠She doesnât spend time with the younger kid anymore.
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Theyâre children and all part of 1 blended family no matter the genes and whoâs blood to who. Theyâre innocent children who should not be made to feel left out or different in any way. Itâs not their fault their parents are no longer together and they are now mixing and sharing their lives with another family. At the end of the day theyâre all family. The adults both came as a package deal with children and all parts of the family should step up and be inclusive to all children. So no youâre not being the ass, they most definitely are and they need to be told that
Is the older oneâs in mom in the picture? I have a good friend whose mom always favors her nephew over her own kids. After years of being pissed, she finally spoke up and her mom told her that her kids had a stable home with lots of love from her and her husband while her nephew had no dad (he committed suicide) and a very unstable mom. Of course the older child has your husband but is your MIL compensating for the mom?
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Include all of them or have none of them
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I say just explain to the oldest kids itâs different.
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Unfortunately that just the way it is, as m h as we feel it isnât right.
My mother was all about my step kids until I had my boy. Yes, she still classes them as her grandkids, but the relationship is nowhere near the same, but they understand that
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I donât have multiple kids, just my childâs cousins that are always doing things with in laws. Iâm irritated enough about it as is because my 4 year notices it and I feel awful that itâs that way for him. But if he had siblings and they were only allowing 1 or 2 of them over and not the other. I would definitely bring it up. I already have brought it up to my husband and my MIL that I feel this way and yet nothing changes.
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These comments are gross. Like truthfully, enough to make me want to unfollow this page. Everyone saying âthat kid is her grandson yours arenâtâ your gross. My brother and sister donât belong to my father(except in heart because theirs is scum), and my father has NEVER ONCE treated my sisters son(not biologically his grandson) ANY DIFFERENT, my nephew was born long before my own children and he treats them THE EXACT SAME, minus that my children are all girls, he treated my sisters step daughter(double not biologically his grandaughter) THE EXACT SAME. If your child accepted those kids as HIS OWN, you should treat them the exact same as if they were âbiologicallyâ his. Thatâs what family is, thatâs what being an ADULT is, not making CHILDREN feel like less. Gross gross gross behavior.
Those arenât her grandkids. Itâs not like theyâve know her their whole life and she excludes them. My oldest has a different dad & I never expect my little ones grandma or aunts to take him anywhere. Maybe you should reach out to their actual grandparents & ask them to spend more time with them or take them to do something fun. It seems like the youngest has a fun grandma and thatâs what the older kids are missing maybe when the little one goes out you can take the older ones to do something fun.
You canât force a relationship with your kids on anyone. Itâs toxic for the kids to be with someone whoes heart isnât really in it anyway & anyone saying take them all or take none is ridiculous!!! The youngest one isnât even her son to say anything at all.
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She doesnât have an obligation to take them. Why push it and have everyone hating it
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Explain to your kids
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She wouldnât be seeing any of the children then 
that would be like my mom telling my husbandâs kids they arenât her grandkids just because I didnât birth them⊠she would never do that why because its. Bullshit. Your married those are his kids to because he married you. So if she canât treat them all the same then she ainât seeing none of them fuck that. And I can say that whole heartedly because I am a step mom to 3 and we have 3 together⊠he cut his own mom out because of the way she treated us so your husband needs to step up and be your partner or he donât wanna be married
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My current husband had no children , we now have a 5 month old together - he treats my kids like they are his kids - he buys for them , takes my son to ball practice - helps coach his team , takes my little boy hunting , fishing you name it ! He does some with my daughter but she is 14 and is more a homebody ! He does more with them and spends more on them than his own child currently since she is so small ! So there are people out there who treat your kids the right way
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By the way it sounds I wouldnât want my kids around her anyway.
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No no grand kids r grand kids donât matter if they r stepkids or not
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