Could it be your kids are spoiled, unappreciative brats? Could it be your kids have so many “toys and tech things” the grandparents don’t feel they could measure up. Could it be the grandparents simply don’t feel welcome. Perhaps YOU should make more an effort to include and honor the grandparents in small-scale ways. Just a few thoughts
I am in the same situation. My in laws will visit their daughters kids and not my daughter who just turned 5. We live in the same town.
It’s very simple…my daughter doesn’t know that she has other grandparents except for my mom and stepdad who live very far away but who we communicste with often. I don’t talk about my husband’s parents or siblings or her cousins because we have no relationship with them. She hasn’t started asking questions about them yet, but I just pretend they don’t exist.
I don’t beg anyone to be in my child’s life.
Cut them off! Its either all or nothing! If they don’t want to make any effort, or as little as possible, but favor other grandchildren then they don’t need to be a part of your kids lives! Your children will pick up on it and they’ll have to sit and wonder what’s wrong with them that they don’t get the same attention from their grandparents that their cousins do and no child or person should ever have to feel less than. Their loss
My late MIL was like this with my 4 kids. I tried for years but gave up. To me it was her loss as my kid’s have no happy memories. It is a hard one but you can’t make people do things they don’t want to do either sadly.
I cut my in-laws out of our lives. He still speaks to them on occasion but understands my reasoning. They haven’t even been given an address for us in 5 years.
Try reaching out to them. Make plans. If they fall through because of the in laws, wipe your hands. You cannot live your life trying to force a relationship that they’re not wanting. It’s bs, I know. Still, it’s not something you should stress about. It’s their loss in the end. I didn’t have grands growing up. It sucked but it didn’t bother me too badly. My parents are now the grands. They are the best in the world. They let that cycle end with us.
But does she post loving tributes to the other grandkids on their birthdays- but not your kids? Asking for a friend
I wouldn’t push the issue. Who knows the reason why, and to make someone spend time with kids they aren’t attached to could be worse, in my opinion. You and your husband and kids ARE your family now. Others that want to be there, will be there.
I’d seriously plan like a cook out at a park or lake or even your home and invite the WHOLE family, make it a theme of “family love” and see if they attend.
They may not know HOW to be there for the kids, especially the older one. Just plan something and invite them to come spend time with family for food and fun. Only do it THREE times, and take into account they have lives and many in the family too, this is why I suggest three times. Give a months notice if they don’t live far. After that, just stop inviting them and carry on making memories with your beautiful family
There’s always a reason. It’s usually behavioral problems. Parents complaining about the grandparents & the kids are spoiled & so on & so on. There’s always a reason & usually the parent(s) that wants to control & complain.
The kids will know when they’re old enough. The way I see it is people are kissing out not seeing our kids. If they don’t come around or favor other kids than your kids don’t need them.
It sucks… But I never get people wanting to force people who don’t want your kids around, to have them. I’d say live your life, have people who love & want your kids around even if it’s 2 people. Quality over quantity. I understand it’s a burden reliever if they take the kids & leave you time. But, I’d rather have my kids EVERY day than to force anybody to take them.
Stop spending time with them at all. Why would you keep chasing these people?
Have a conversation with your husband first
I wouldn’t handle it. that’s his family. And of he wants his kids to have a relationship with his family he will talk to his mother about it. Mother’s are almost always closer to their daughters kids than their sons kids. It’s just the nature of it.
You know exactly were your kids stand in there lives so dont call them don’t request visits as heartbreaking as this is your all they need my children grew up without grandparents as adults today they often mention how they wished they had grandparents to visit as children but my parents were just trash only cared for certain ones an mine were not included so today as a grandmother myself I give every moment of my being to my grandchildren to show them love there parents never got from mine there grandfather passed away just 2 months ago but he loved them as much.i learned throughout life to never beg for attention and love because in the end it’s all fake
My boys went through this, my mother in law favored my sister in laws kids. Needless to say my boys never had a close relationship with my mother in law.
Don’t worry about them. kids remember who was there and who wasn’t. It’s not your job to maintain a relationship with these people. If they cared they would.
It’s possible there are things your children do that the other grands do differently or vice versa and the differen things are more appealing to the grands. For instance maybe yours are more active and noisy and that’s not something that older folks handle as well. Not an excuse and it certainly needs to be addressed so you at least know if that’s the case. Please don’t think I’m knocking the kids or parents. Just a different perspective to think about.
Let the five year old ask them……
Like I’ve said before.
Either they make time for the kid or they arent in their lives. Period.
Lucky!!! You mean your in laws do not come around and you’re complaining about that??? You have a problem many of us wish we had!!
Bring that shit up! To your husband, to them. If they still don’t want to see them then fuck em. Teach your kids that they need to focus on who DOES love them rather than who doesn’t.
My husband had two kids with his ex-wife his mom loved them and always wanted them around…never wanted anything to do with my son so when I got pregnant with my daughter I didn’t say anything to her or his family and just dropped them. I tried to be nice to his family but being nice got me no where so I said fu*k them and so did my husband. We have just us 4 and talk to my mom and brother but I’d rather it be like that than my kids being treated that way.
Is it your kids they have issue with or maybe dont like you?
Quit being so petty. Jesus H Christ.
Been there done that.
I get blamed for THEM not seeing the kids. They picked his sisters youngin over mine.
Their loss. My children are amazing and the kids have noticed for years.
I keep my kids busy with other things.
All I can say is not stress about it.
You can’t change them
Just let it be and don’t let them say that you didn’t let them see the kids or something the kids already know
They see things they will let them know later on that they don’t wanna be with them at all when they’re older… and to your in laws it’s gonna feel horrible… they will later regret how they treated the kids
I have this w/ my in laws. Bith me and my usbamd see it and notice. Most of his family out all our kids on the back burner. Except 2 of our girls. A few family members treat ALL the grandchildren equally. The best i can tell you is guve them that extra love. Unfortunately qe cant protect our children from things like this unless we completely cut them members out. However we can make sure we are there for them above and beyond. Make sure we hear their words and feelings and ensure they know with out a shawdow of a doubt that it is not their fault and nothing is wrong with them
It’s their loss. My ex in-laws never ever see my kids except for some holidays. Same with their father but I gave up a longgggg time ago trying to practically beg them to be in my kids lives. Sounds like they are toxic and honestly would you want your kids around them? I know I wouldn’t. My kids are 18 and 12 and I have to force them in holidays to go see their father and his family. They give no effort and my ex husband only calls to see them when it’s convenient for him. Just let it be and when your kids get a little bit older they will realize they were better off.
Went through this for 20 years. No time for my kids, but when his sister had a baby, it was like it was their first grandchild was born. Just remember, THEY are the ones missing out. For the rest of their lives they will miss out on one of the greatest gifts given, grandchildren. Don’t stress or worry, just show them the love u have for them. As they grow older, they will make their own choices as whether they want a relationship with them. They most like won’t, and again the grandparents will be the ones missing out. Hugs hun. I spent to many years worrying over this. Don’t you do the same
I felt this in my Soul. I’m sorry youre going through this Momma. I went off on my ex’s mom yesterday about this very type of thing.
Invite them. Go visit them. Call them. Have your kids write to them. You show interest first
Same thing here…I just tell my kids it’s the in laws loss, not ours. They still have my family