My in-laws don't like me because I can't have kids

I need advice. My in-laws don’t like me and I think it’s because I can’t have kids. I’ve been with my husband for 10 years and the first 5 years were very rough and had a bad relationship with his family. We tried for years to get pregnant and after 7 years we finally got pregnant. The same night we found out about the baby, we also found out it was ectopic so we had to rush into surgery to save my life and of course sadly my one and only baby wasn’t going to make it. That was the most traumatic experience of my life and not one of our family members was there for us during that time. Not even my own mom came to see me in the hospital and that’s caused a lot of mental damage to me. After that I was diagnosed with postpartum depression, PTSD, and I suffer major abandonment issues from that experience. My in-laws have shown no sympathy to me or their son about our experience and it really takes a toll out on me. I moved from a different state away from all my loved ones to be closer to the in-laws and they literally act like we don’t live 2 minutes down the road from them. They never try to spend time with us, come over to visit, nothing. While I see how good they treat their other daughter in law who does have kids. It really makes me feel like they don’t like me because I can’t have kids and I’m super depressed right now. I never had a good relationship with my own parents, so I always hoped I would marry into a family that loved me like their own but it’s just not like that. But it is like that with their other daughter in law and son in law. The only difference is, they have kids and I don’t. I take care of their son, I love him unconditionally and he loves me the same so I can’t understand why they still don’t like me. I do have a bad past but I’ve been living a straight path for 3 years now so I don’t see what the problem is now? We still try to get pregnant 3 years after our loss but it’s just not happening. My mental health is not good right now, and I could really use a family to turn to but they would never be there for me because they don’t like to talk about the loss. I’m so lost

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My in-laws don't like me because I can't have kids

Have you thought t about adopting, amd also talking woth the family about how you feel

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Always remember your worth does not lie in your ability/desire to have/carry biological children or children at all for that matter!

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The hell with them! You have your husband who supports you 100% you married him not his family… their loss not yours … keep your head up :heart:

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Wow.
What a bunch of petty and cruel people.

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U married your husband not his family it is thier loss if they want nothing to do with you. Thier loosers plain n simple, I put up with that for years with my.husbands family. No more so.hang in there treat them like they treat you good luck

Plz ppz feel free to msg me anytime u want if u need to talk

I hope your husband supports you. I also hope you know that you’re a complete lovable woman without having children. Is adoption an option? You can create the family you crave yourself, a chosen family. I wish your heart ease. Your in-laws are behaving reprehensibly.

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You always have "God " on your side. Pray often…HE will show you His Love for You… check into adoption

Who needs family like that i would not even bother with them

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Pray :pray: I had 1miscarriage 1tubal pregnancy tube ruptured removed it only had 1 tube tried seven years got pregnant finally twins lost one 3 1/2 months old ;”( hunny I went through family n relatives like that ;”( it’s because they don’t understand n don’t know how to express themselves!!

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All I will say is …your post talks about how your in laws feel - what matters is the relationship you have with your partner. He is your family. If you cant have children as hard as that is, he is your family. As long as you two have a strong bond ignore the rest. If you want to go down another road to have children so be it. But it’s down to the two of you not everyone else x

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You should not put the key to ypur happiness in the hands of other people. They just dont like you. period. so what? You should just repair and make your relationship/bond with your husband stronger and better since if you cant have kids (naturally/adopting) atleast be with someone you can grow old happily, contentedly and peacefully. It took years for us before we had our son. it was stressful for the both of us but once we decided that we will be happy together even if we dont have kids, a few months later we had goodnews and it was our bonus. Dont waste more time and years being miserable. Start living and enjoy life even one day at a time with your husband. God only knows when he will break and be fed up with you.

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Oh well. Cant do anything about it. Go about your life.

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Well I honestly look at it this way… reading everything you have said… your relationship started pretty bad… you said you’ve been on the straight path since 3 years ago… what were you doing before then? Drugs? Cheating? Bottom line is they don’t like you for the way you are, not because you can’t have kids…. So with that said, forget them… as long as you and your husband love each other that’s all that matters… it really is! I would talk to him and ask him about moving closer to my family… at least their YOUR family… maybe there’s a reason why your mom couldn’t go and see you… I know I may sound harsh but if my sister had an ectopic pregnancy and had to go to the hospital I wouldn’t go and see her unless something went wrong, knowing she has her husband and knowing everything is okay is fine with me. I would call her though. At this time you need to focus on you… on your mental health… on your well being and reduce your stress levels. I knew a couple of people from work they had tried for 15 years to have a baby and nothing…. One day out of the blue they got pregnant and wasn’t even trying! I do wish your wish of being a mother comes true but right now you wouldn’t be a good mother because you’re mentally and emotionally not ready. Get yourself together… forget them… you do what YOU have to do to make sure you are ok! Talk to your mom about how you feel… talk to your in-laws point blank about how you feel and tell them to cut the BS and tell you WHY they don’t like you and that’s that.

Sad situation but you have to focus on you, your mental, and your husband!!!

Don’t wait for acceptance from ANYONE in this world including your in-laws… As long as you and your husband got each other’s back and fully support each other that’s all that matters (My opinion)

Sad situation but you have to focus on you, your mental, and your husband!!!

Don’t wait for acceptance from ANYONE in this world including your in-laws… As long as you and your husband got each other’s back and fully support each other that’s all that matters (My opinion)

If they don’t like you because of this reason… Then I’d say they don’t like you and that’s their problem. Your value is not written or unwritten based on children or anything else. I’d get into some counseling if needed and cut those ties

I wouldn’t care if she liked me or not your husband is what counts and if you ever do have one I don’t know if I would want someone like that around mine child .I would my daughter in law with our without kids

keep trying honey we never know what god has planed 4 us as 4 them their loss… enjoy life its short

I am praying for you

Who needs people like these try to find some friends you can talk to and look in the Mirror and say I am somebody.

I don’t mean to sound callous, but you sound kind of needy. Could you be mistaking your in-laws behavior. I’m sorry that you lost your child, but based on what you’ve said, you have some issues that you need to address prior to having children. They seem deep-rooted and they won’t go away just because you have a child or that your in-laws “like” you. Please get some therapy first and resolve some of your abandonment and depression issues. That may help you with your fertility problems…it can’t hurt.

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You need to get out and about make friends . Friends can become family. Go places malls library shopping. Keep yourself busy and enjoy your husband and your life. When you get yourself happy again look into foster care make your own family. :heart::heart:

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WHOA. THIS IS SO RELATABLE. literally in the same position. I have no advice. Lol. If someone does can y’all tag me too? Lol

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I’m sorry to hear that

Siento mucho lo que te pasa. Pero depende de ti que todo termine ahora. Te están preocupando por lo que piensen tus suegros y tu familia. Pues te dire que de la manera que te tratan tu familia es tu esposo que te quiere y al cual tú quieres. Concéntrate en ustedes dos. Y verás como todo te cambia. Y cuanto a los hijos lo tendrás.pero estas forzándote demasiado y tienes que tomarlo con calma. Tu aliado es Dios que todo lo puede si te aferras a él tendrás lo que tanto deseas tener ese hijo. No le des mente a tus suegros ni que quieren a las otras nueras y a ti no. Quiérete tú. Rodéate de gentes que te quieran por lo que eres no por lo que tienes. Y cuando tengas ese niño propio o por amor( adoptado) porque lo tendrás déjalo saber. Para enterarnos que eres completamente feliz. :four_leaf_clover:.

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You’re hiding the real issue and whatever it was in the past…it will be that. They will spend more time around people with kids because people like kids. It’s not related to the adults. Also you can’t force them to be your surrogate family and it’s probably the way you act. Not sure why they all ignored your ectopic etc, that was not acceptable but it’s probably whatever pre existed.

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Have you consider adoption

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There are so many kids desperate for the love of a mother. Maybe try fostering kids. As for your MIL you can’t control how she feels nor change her but you can take control of how you let people make you feel.
You are a Good person and deserve to be treated that way and if she can’t see that ignore her.

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So sorry to hear that, we all need someone to turn to when things are not going real good, I know whats its like to have a bad in law and I know what its like to have good in laws, world of difference, I wish you the best and hope things turn around for you, at least you have ur husband just hang on to each other. Good luck to you. :sunflower:

If the reason for them not liking you is due to you being unable to have children that’s more of a reflection on them and not you I say get counseling build a greater bond with your husband because it sounds like your all he has as well when it comes to it… always be respectful to his family still but you know just make yourself feel better your happiness shouldn’t depend on them

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If they don’t like you because you can’t have kids… if that’s truly the reason- you don’t need them! They’re not benefiting you in any way. Make new friends, enjoy your husband, and if you want to start a family if something like ivf wasn’t successful, there’s always adoption. But remember- you shouldn’t feel you need to have children to be worthy of love and acceptance. You ARE worthy. Whether you have Children or not. You deserve happiness.
You DONT need to put up with being treated the way your in laws treat you!

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Honey, you didn’t marry your in-laws!!! You and hubby stick together, and F everyone else!!! That’s as simple as I can put it. :+1:

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God will show you mercy, he will give you a friend who will be like a family to u…I pray in Jesus name my God will make you a mother so soon just have Faith in Jesus.

In laws can be control freaks. It’s your life . Make boundaries. Move away from them . Break ties. Take a break from them for awhile. A man will leave his mother and a woman leaves her home.

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First thing first - focus on your own healing . This post really doesn’t specify if you medically can’t have children or if it’s just not happening at the moment (being that you stated your still trying) Also - make your home welcoming… plan things at your home in your happy space (after your healing) and invite your in laws over . Create an inviting space of love … but first … mental health …

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I really cant fathom how any family would treat their family member like this. Stop teying to ease them , you have no control in this situation, lozing the baby is devastatjng and no ones fault. Your husband would be wise.to tell them off for their lack of empathy, and respect. Have you discussed adoption and giving love to a baby in need? But only if hubby is 100% on board, his family may not be receptive to the idea, tough, move on without them. They would only prove more harmful than helpful if they cant accept a baby that isnt their sons

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Let it go! Just find happiness within yourself. As long as you and your husband love each other that’s all that matters. I know a couple that it took sixteen years to have a child. With all that’s going on and you letting it control you it will not make it easy for you to get pregnant.

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Such a sad experience!!! I am lucky enough to have in laws that I love dearly and the feelings are mutual. If you ever need a “sister,” I am in. Everyone needs someone and I don’t have a sister so I might enjoy the talks as well…

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I’m thinking it’s not from you not having children. There has to be something else

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Sorry to be blunt but if you can’t even fix your issues with your own mom then how can you expect to have it other ways with your inlaws? The good thing is that your hubby loves you and yeah thats all that matters. Maybe move away from them so you don’t see them all the time.

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My in laws don’t like me period. Fuck em​:v::woman_shrugging:

Screw them. They should be treating you better. Plus your husband should be standing up for you.
How about adoption, theres so many kids out there that need and deserve a loving family.

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If you don’t feel supported then you probably aren’t. And worrying over that and the want of your in laws to like you won’t help your mental health. Concentrate on yourself and your husband. I know it’s hard but sod them! Life might get easier if you take a step back just you and your husband and you’ll probably see things clearer. You deserve better :heart:

Frist of all Im sorry for your lose… as I have been thru a miscarriage it was very hard, alot of people don’t know how to confort someone going thru that , so alot of people do come around. Because of not know what to say . Questions… do you make efforts as well to be more involved with them? Other than being right down the road? It takes efforts on both parties. Also have you been told by the doctor that babies are not it the books for you. Has your S.O been tested to see if it him? I really hope you the best. I really think it would help you emotionally if you’d write you mother and tell her how you feel and try to work on your relationship. I had to do the same with mine .

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I’m sensing that maybe they are sad for their son, because he wants children and you can’t have them. Have you tried fertility? Have you tried IVF? I know its costly, I had two cycles of IVF and neither of them worked, but I waS 41 and I already had 3 children from a previous marriage and wanted to have children with my now husband, but I had a tubal. Things didn’t work out that way, but you can adopt. My twins love my husband as if he were their dad as he has raised them as he was their dad. I would take solace that ur husband loves you and you have a great relationship. I would either move back to ur home state, or make friends there. My best friend doesn’t have any family, she has a mom and brothers, but she never sees them. She has me and my mom and family to be family with. Make friends, find a new family that you can pick. People will love you unconditionally.

Cut off those people, if they can’t sympathize with what you’re going through then they don’t need to be apart of your life. Your health and sanity matter much more then dealing with their uncaring butts.

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You’ve been together 10 years but you’ve only been on the straight path for 3? Could it have been something you did in the first 7 years of your marriage to their son? You didn’t really elaborate on your bad past but that makes it sound like there could be more to the story. Parents don’t easily forgive someone hurting their child. I have no clue what you did but the way you worded that sounds rather sketchy.

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I am so sorry. Sending hugs your way. It’s their loss not yours. Try not to let toxic people interfere with your happiness. You don’t deserve it. Have you asked your Dr. about Chlomiphene? It helps you ovulate and get pregnant. They also have Prenatal vitamins with folic acid for before during and after that are suppose to help. My daughter has started taking then. Wishing you all the happiness and good luck.

Sorry for your loss . I have lost 5 babies. You are not alone . How old are your in laws . Have they lost babies ? Maybe your loss brought theirs back to the surface and they don’t know how to cope so they say nothing . Some people deal with loss that way . Bottle it up and don’t talk about it . They lost a grand baby when you lost your child . Maybe they don’t know how to deal with it so for their own mental health they don’t talk about it . When I lost my first my grandmother said move on don’t talk or think about that baby . That’s how she was raised ? Could they have been raised the same way ?
Do you go visit them ? Help with yard work and cleaning ? Stop in for tea talk about the latest book you read or the flower that you saw ? Maybe they don’t know what to talk about so they talk about nothing . Could you make a step or two forward so they can see the door is still open. Maybe their cold shoulder has nothing to do with the loss of the baby maybe it has to do with something else . Parents are protective of their children. Have you done things to hurt their son , your husband? Maybe that is what they can’t get over .
I am sorry things are so rough right now but if you would like it to work out with the in laws find out what they need from you and give it to them expecting nothing in return . Well that’s what I would try anyway
Hugs

My opinion… screw 'em!!! Ur not married to them and their views on u as it seems their views on many people doesn’t mean s**t… people like that are so up themselves and they’ll die lonely, bitter, old people . All their kids should be sticking up for their partners if they’re like this. I personally wouldn’t care, sticks and stones and all that , I’d rather not be anywhere near them. You please yourselves first not them…

Sounds like they don’t like you for other reasons than not having kids. Sounds like they haven’t liked you from the beginning, you yourself say you have been together 10 years, but you have only been good (clean?) for the last 3 years. Sounds like you are the one making it about not having kids and not your bad past.

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Why do you care what they think or if they don’t like you? Sorry for your loss :two_hearts: hunny honestly you will only find happiness from within, so learn to love yourself, change your mindset an try to think only positive thoughts. Only then will you be truly happy! Chin up f the haters an do you!

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Why does it have to be your family/in laws, reach out to other good people, don’t limit yourself, you already see what it is … good luck, and pray

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I would so not waste any energy on their likes or dislike of you or your husband. Frankly, it’s really up to him to act as a buffer between you and correct their manners. When it was me (my ex in-laws) my ex-husband never stood up for me, said it was in my head. Screw that! I not only divorced him, but have never wasted another moment of thought or energy on any of them or anyone else who may not like me. They are not worth it!!! I have precious little energy now and I will not waste it worrying about other people’s issues. Get some good friends, choose and put together your own family and don’t look back. I have found that people either really like me or really don’t; I sleep just fine with knowing that. I count on Karma to thin the herd.
I have been remarried to a great guy for over 25 years. Good luck!

If they know abt ur bad past that’s none of their biz & due to having kids well that’s out of ur control & again it’s none of their biz. Stop worrying abt pleasing everyone especially the in laws U didn’t marry them U married ur hubby how does he feel abt all of this bs. Worry abt U first coz the lower ur mental state the worse the situation which can be detrimental. Maybe that’s part of the problem for ur infertility. Try hard to get urself in order first & maybe other aspects in ur life will fall in place. I’m not saying U may have a baby but at least ur mental & spiritual self will be happier.

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No professional mental health expert here although this is what i would’ve said if my friend had told me all this - you can never be good in everyone’s books and you’ve got to accept that and let go. Other’s perception of you however it may be shouldn’t affect you. You love yourself as much as love you are ready to give out others. You have a husband that loves you and is with you through it all. Give a thought about adoption. You would be giving a gift of good loving healthy life to someone who may have not had any hopes of making it in this raw world. You dont have to have blood relations remember love is indeed above all.
You take care. God bless you.

There are other families willing to love you. Reach out & find a new family & start a new life. G-d is in the bz of giving you a new life. Take your prob to Him & allow Him to work His miracle in your life. Your past should never define who you really are nor should your uncaring parents or in-laws! You have been uniquely created…be thankful & move on into the light. There are many who would be willing to support you…just reach out & pray. G-d will supply all that you need. Blessings on your new journey! :pray::umbrella::umbrella::purple_heart::butterfly::rainbow::clap:

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Your past is in the past forget about that as long as u have each other thats what matters as long as u love each other thats all u need :heartbeat:

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I wouldn’t worry about the in laws. Mine never liked me and I’m still married to my hubby and he is a great husband and father. I just feel that as long as you have him NOTHING else really Matters. Make friends, enjoy life. Travel with him

Get counselling and start healing.forgive them in order to heal and it might be time to leave this relationship despite all the love

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My in-laws didn’t like me either, for 47 years and 2 kids and 2 years of care giving for her cancer ! Still don’t like me–there will never be an end to it until you don’t have to listen to it anymore ! So–tough it out, or leave !

This doesn’t sound like an issue of not having kids. There is always surrogate or adoption if that is the case. Whatever you did in your past, sounds like that is the problem they are having.

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Why are you so focused on others? It’s as if you’re looking for their approval and support. Some families are close and supportive, some aren’t. You sound like you have a good relationship with your husband, which is a lovely foundation for a good life. I suggest you possibly have unresolved childhood issues yourself that you need to look at, to help you break away from dependency on others esp family. Let go and move on, your husband and yourself will have a good life ahead if you do.

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Have you made any effort? Do you go visit them? Do you invite them over?

Sounds like They didn’t like you before they found out you couldn’t have kids you said the first 5 years were rough and you’ve been together fir 10 years but only on the straight and narrow for 3, seems like your using the not being able to have kids as a scape goat and to make them look like bad ppl, I think you are the issue here for reasons you’ve been sketchy about in the post, sorry :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Girl, the thing you need most, is a good therapist.

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I’m so so sorry for you loss. And you deserve so much better. :disappointed::cry:

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Why do you need ppl who do not need you? That the problem with society now adays. Woman stop let people not speaking to you be a problem
Your husband love you that all that matter build your world around him stop let your inlaws break you down. Did you married them? I learn late in life that Happiness comes from within. Not given. If people give you happiness they can take it away. Stop let people control your happiness. So what if there no babies. Learn to be happy on your owe. To hell with what your inlaws think. I learn to be happy all by myself because family didn’t like me also. I created my owe happiness. Pray to God for strength. Guidance and good health. Because only God Will love you forever.

I think dir is more to the story

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Like others have said. Your past is the issue here. Have you thought about the pain you’ve likely caused them and ever apologised or spoke to them about it. It seems like you are all hurting here and until you talk all this out it won’t change. Its not the kids that is the issue here. It’s the pain and trauma you both caused them during your first 7 years together. Try to empathise with them instead of being angry otherwise this cycle of hurting each other will continue.

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It’s most likely your bad past and noting todo with you not having kids we have no idea what you did in the past but if it’s todo with there son like you cheated on him or somthing them it’s no wonder they don’t like you that will be the reasons if you did somthing too there son but we cant say a way why not just move back in with family no point in staying where his family don’t like you so lf I was you would move back in with family until you can get a place down there talk to your partner

I don’t give a flying shit if my mother in law doesn’t like me. She’s never shown she cares about our kids and favors her other grandkids. It used to bother me now I know my worth and our blessings ain’t got nothing to do with her. The less you care the better off you’ll be.

Have you ever thought about fostering or adopting?

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Could it be that your in laws don’t know how to show sympathy? Maybe they see your mental state and just don’t know how to broach the subject without making things worse. I think that before you tackle your in laws and even your own Mum, you need to concentrate getting you to a place where you can tackle other issues x

Personally I wouldn’t care if they liked me or not ,in this time and age the way the world is right now,I believe a lot of people are going threw changes anyway.focus on yourself and your husband.if your husband loves you and is a good man,then be great full for that.you’ll have a child on gods timing .

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I agree with a lot of the comments re: your past. Seems you may be suffering the consequences of your behavior from the past. Although you have turned things around, I doubt if they will ever turrn their opinions around. You can make a new family for yourself by making new friends through church, community activities, and by volunteering your time with a charity. Start thinking about being of service to others and you will be more fulfilled.

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You’ve been together 10yr,5 of those years were ruff & you’ve been on the straight n narrow for 3yrs :person_facepalming:

It doesn’t sound like not having kids is the problem.

Its sounds like they stopped liking you during those 5 ruff years.

Dont know what happened cause you didn’t say but your past seems to be the reason. :person_shrugging:

Go seek some help and just focus on you and your husband :heart:

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I’m sorry you went through that … You have to love yourself more and put everything else aside. If they don’t want any contact with you, you can’t change them. Meditate, go for a walk, start some art, ignore everything they have done to you so far. Leave the past in the past. Take care of yourself and your health. It is not good for you to constantly think about who did what and who thinks bad about you. Enjoy your life, jump and ignore anyone who does not respect you. I wish you all the best​:heart::hibiscus:

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Seems to me that dwelling in the past is the problem. Truly sorry for your loss. I say just let all those bad feelings go and be you. I am going to throw this out and you might understand and you might not. Have you ever heard what you put out is what you get back? Start thinking more good things to get good results. For every action there is a reaction. Time to let your past go.

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Get yourself some new in laws!

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forgive yourself for your past, if it’s in the works I would moved away from them. not just down the street. look into places like Resolve, a lot of people don’t know what to say or do, if they haven’t experienced something. Infertility is hard enough on your self esteem you need to be around people who are your cheerleaders and will help build you up.

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Very hard to comment on posts like this when all the sides are not included…you say 10 years together (but only good for the past 3 so what happened during the other 8 as that’s a long time) I do believe if people work hard at change and are successful they do deserve happiness…we all do…however some things are hard to move past, because you’ve made changes doesn’t wipe out what maybe they went through and whatever hurt them during that time…and speaking as a parent myself (who struggled for 15 years to have a baby IVF and everything else) when you see your son/daughter hurt or mistreated by there S/O it can produce a rage inside you like no other…I believe the issues here are much deeper than you not being able to have children…I think a good long sit down heart to heart is what’s needed!

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First off your always going to have a bad past and most people won’t let it go away… You best get use to that and say something like thank god that is in the past and you’ve moved on… Family is not always blood related… I bet if you looked around there are people your pushing away because your focused on Blood accepting and sympathize with you… my blood family is similar… You have once to vent your frustration, then after that your to put it behind you never speaking of it again… Your weak if you don’t move on and there is so much more to live for than living in the past they say… They don’t have time with drama and they walk away from you after listening once… I’d seek help from your church or a therapy group that you can talk too…

I think it could be more then just having kids also just doesn’t add up to me must say more to it come out and asked her to her face tell her you would like to know why she treats you like that and what you have done if it comes to having kids tell her you can’t help that not your time right now hope in the future it will be isn’t now may never be either you don’t know but please stop treating me like you have been that not right and you didn’t asked for it either see what she said and she can’t treat you like a person get away from her she not doing any good for you and your health either good luck with it .

You need to move on. Forget the past and work on being a better you. You can’t change anything but you can change the future for a better you. Move if you have to and work on something that brings you joy. God bless!

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Love gives you family, not genetics, not marriage. Make your own family and leave the in laws to rot. You deserve so much better. Go find it.

Have you gone to a fertility specialist ?
They really can help.

Don’t give them a second thought- live for your husband and yourself- they are not worth the heartache they cause for you and your husband

Learn to love yourself and then share with others IF they are willing to share with you! You are the only person responsible for you! Not husband ,not no kids ,not in laws!Just you! ! Learn to be happy , find a friend, church, DR that will give you the real support you need and live your life . Learn to love others and guess what? Life is so much easier… Best of all to you!

Having 3 good years does not negate the 5 bad years. I would guess it’s not the fact you cannot have children. You are responsible for your own happiness.

I think there’s way more to this story than we’re getting. You’ve “been good” for 3 years out of the 10 years you’ve been married to their son. Yeah, I don’t think you not being able to have kids is the reason why they don’t like you.

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My inlaws hate me because I set boundaries and they can’t control everything in our house. Especially my MIL oh lord the laying on the ground crying. Me looking at my husband feeling sorry for his childhood. Then letting her know we were going home that I’d like not for.children to see a grown up behaving in a manor unbecoming of an adult.

You are taking this on as if there is something wrong with you. Their behavior is not a YOU problem and with that being said there’s nothing you can do about it. Their behavior is on them. Like some of the other said, maybe they don’t know how to interact with you knowing what you’ve been through. Maybe they are not the kind of family that shows love and tells people they love someone. Anyone who doesn’t like a person because they can’t have children, well let’s just say that that speaks volumes of their character and I don’t know that I would want to be associate with anybody that would hold that against me. especially knowing what you and your husband have gone through. You and your husband have to come to a point and decide that you have to make your own happiness and let them do what they may. I’m very sorry you’re going through this.

First of all! SCREW THEM ALL! ALL YOU NEED IS YOUR HUBBY & GOD. TURN TO GOD AND SEEK COMFORT IN HIM. SECOND MAKE A STRONG BOND WITH YOUR HUBBY. THIRD YOU NEED TO STOP LOOKING FOR HAPPINESS IN OTHER PEOPLES. FAMILY CAN ALSO BE ENEMIES TOO. YOU NEED JOY IN YOUR LIFE AND PEACE. AND WHOEVER DOESN’T GIVE YOU THAT HAS TO GO. MAYBE ITS TIME TO ADOPT. GOD DOESNT MAKE MISTAKE AND EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. AFTER ALL THESE TRIALS YOU WILL HAVE A WONDERFUL TESTIMONY!

“They don’t like talking about it?”
It will never get better. Never.
Talk to your husband.
The others don’t matter.
Talking it out completely is the only way to go. Together with a therapist, a 3rd person. It’s not going to go away. It will never go away.