This question was submitted anonymously by real people looking for real advice. Please be mindful with your responses. No bashing or derogatory comments will be tolerated.
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With all the horrible things happening to children and child services were called and nothing happened, I would say you were safe. Have what they need and everything should be fine. God Bless!
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It depends on what they are saying, but I would advise to get legal counsel even if you have to go to Legal Aid, and do it pro bono, but get your own attorney. Unless itâs severely dire, they support family reunification whenever possible.
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I had child services called by the school. 2x. First because my daughter was cutting classes and I found her and slapped her across the face. They came to my home, unannounced. I let them in. They checked her room, the fridge, cabinets, left and closed the case. I was âparentingâ. The second time, another daughter, I let go to my bolâd in Canada in the middle of the school year. She couldnât see her father go through chemo. It was to much for her and I and my bil decided it was better to get her away. School called Cps. That didnât end well for the school. Be honest. Stay calm. Courts in NY are not looking to take your children. Oh, my brother tried that, long story⌠used my parents to claim custody. Cps got in touch with pediatrician and school. That issue died right there.
Social Services was created, not to help make better families, but to help give the government more control over citizens liv es. If there was a crime involved that warrents children being taken away, then that is a police matter and the parent/s should be charged. How many reports are out there of kids being abused and worse off AFTER social Services has taken them out of their own family and given them to people who are more abusive than the biological parents??? LOTS!!!
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Be honest, donât get belligerent with them or get defensive. Most states work to keep families together. Keep records of any communications with the in laws, document, document and document some more. Show them proof you are a fit parent. They have to try to show you are unfit. Remain calm and do what an attorney or judge asks you to do in a timely manner.
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You wonât win. They have age and expirience, money, lawyers. They will turn the kids against you. They will turn the church against you, if you have one. They will be the perfect concerned grandparents in court that will provide the loving stable environment that your children never had with you. The judge will praise them for their sacrifices, dispite all the evidence that you provide proving that they abused their own children, committed felonies. The older generation has had more time to grow their business and their bank account, and their connections. If they win this round, they will keep trying until they have full custody. They will then get the ability to set the rules for when you see your kids, make you pay child support, and half for their class ring, letter jacket, driving course, etc. If you canât pay, they will make you look like you donât put your kids first and that you donât have your life together, that you are lazy and donât work hard enough, and the kids are so so lucky to have them to make up for all that you never were. Then they will try to make over your kids to be what they want them to be. Their room is never clean enough, their friends arenât welcome, their choices are all wrong. They will drive your children to be admitted in mental health wards for weeks, without any contact with you or anyone but them. Your kids will not be released until they are 19, not 18, but 19, because the child support law says that money is owed until the age of 19.
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this question is bizarre and thereâs zero context here. how can anyone provide helpful insight? if your in-laws were simply being spiteful assholes and you havenât done anything wrong, why would losing custody of your children even be a thought??? and for everyone saying she can âwinâ by making sure there are sheets on the kids beds, food in the cupboards, running water and electricity â uhhh DUH. if she doesnât already have those things then perhaps DCFS was called for good reason 
. the only people who need to âwinâ in this scenario are the kids.
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In America, at least, treat it like you would being accused of any crime. You can interview with the police or social services (both, sometimes), but be aware that they will use everything you say against you. But, thatâs the best idea if you donât have a lot of cash. They will want to do a home visit, depending on the accusation and the age of child(ren). Be aware that anything they see, they will attempt to use against you. So, either make sure it is absolutely perfect/clean/safe or they will send you to classes and charge you for it. They might request drug tests, background checks, medical history, for all that are in the home. So make sure you can pass those. If you canât pass their investigation, find the money for an attorney.
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As long as youâre doing what you need to do as a mother providing putting food shelter safety then thereâs not a goddamn soul that can say anything to you and thatâs just how it works if youâre not working have an income that you can show thatâs how you take care of you and the children and make sure you have a home or you stay with someone where you have a safe place for your children thereâs not a soul that can tell you anything as long as you do what you do your responsibilities right by your children no one can take your kids away!! does not matter what the allegations are those of the things you need to have an honor to be a stable person and a parent and if you have a substance-abuse problem and you need to get help! If not have all your ducks in a row and your good !!!
Depends on what theyâre saying. If you didnât do anything wrong you shouldnt have to worry. Also, they will probably direct you to some form of family preservation first before actuallu taking your kids. If thats the case do what they tell you. Attend the classes and everything and you shouldnât have any trouble. Usually taking the kids is the last resort so unless itâs something pretty big, like bruises, drug use, homelessness, etc they usually wonât take them. If social services is coming make sure you clean your house and stock your fridge. Make sure all utilities are on and they have beds, etc.
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Why do people keep asking her what she did?! Are u kidding me?! I went through this crap with my in-laws to the point where social services basically told them if they called anymore they were going to be charged. Some in-laws are just spiteful. She didnât have to do anything, stop assuming she did something.
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Donât talk to them without a lawyer. If you can not afford one. Research the laws in your state. They will break every single one of them if you donât know your rightsâŚ
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Be honest with them let them do their investigation and if the claims that brought them there are unfounded they usually dont do anythingâŚ
Dont lie to them dont ask friends to lie ⌠because if the workers are worth their pay⌠they would find out anyway⌠and lying makes you look badâŚ
Good luck
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As long as everything is in order you should be fine my sister did this out of spite I was drug tested and pit through the ringer kids were never removed it was an open and shut case they saw it for what it was ⌠she however lost all her children and parental rightsâŚ
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Depends.
Tell the truth and invite them into your home if they ask
Tell your kids to be truthful but on their best behavior and donât tell them it came from their grandparents
If you are innocent it works. If their accusation has weight it helps your kids
I hope whatever is best for the kids win.
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Donât let them buy anything for the children .My Son loss his daughter to her parent because the saved ever receipt they spend on there child because they couldnât afford expensive things .They got to adopt her. From my Son and his wife.
Start living life like a responsible adult. Put your children before yourselfâŚ
Most Foster homes are not a good place to grow up. Speaking from experience
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If they visit you which where i am from they do. As long as they see the kids have a good clean house, and food and clothes. Everything that a kid needs and they see how the kids interact. If all that is good you have nothing to worry about. It happened to me twice, and both cases were closed because they had no proof to prove me unfit. He had a clean home with food in his stomach, and clothes on his back that they closed the case. Itâs very hard to prove a mother unfit, and i know itâs hard and hurtful be on your guard and my prayers go out to you try to hang in there.
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U donât win against social services. Itâs not a game. They got info (whether it be true or not) about a childâs welfare. Discuss it with the caseworker. Donât lie or hide or try to trick because thatll just drag the process on and on
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They always have to do an investigation first. In some cases the children will be removed while they do the investigation into the accusations but if you are a good parent and you are doing everything right then you should have nothing to worry about.
Also try to work with social services from day one and do what they ask of you and if the inlaws are claiming drugs then go get a full drug test done on your own behalf donât wait until you are ordered too.
I know itâs scary especially in some states/countries that literally take kids just cause they are running around half nude in their own home. But do everything right and as long as they are happy, healthy and well looked after and they live in a house that is looked after and not a safety risk then you should have no issues at all.
You can also ask some friends or coworkers or anyone in your personal life that sees you and your kids regularly if they would right a statutory declaration for you giving social services and if need be a judge an insight to you as a parent that hasnât come from yourself. It always helps having other support in these cases.
Good luck and donât give up
If they say its neglect immediately take steps to make sure things are ok. Clean your house. Make sure thereâs food in the fridge and cupboards. Doesnt have to be fancy or gourmet. Basic nutrition. Are the children clean. Do they have clean clothes and bedding. CPS isnt looking for luxury. They are looking for necessities⌠they have the right to interview the kids privately. And to visit and check your home. Be respectful. They are doing their job. If the accusations are something else do whatever it takes to fix it!
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Work with the social worker they give you. They will see right away anything you were accused of is real or not. The worker will follow up many times with you afterwards just to make sure those who did the accusing are not threatening you in any way. I have my grandson and daughter keeps making false statements. My worker is great, hope you get a good one
My experence with Childrens Services is most are not trained enough and they love to play God, I have seen them leave a child in a home and that child was later killed, they have taken children out of a home and tore up a family when nothing happened, their is one out of every 100 that really cares and does a good job, train them better and teach them that they are not gods
Cooperate with them. I have had them called on me and the investigations were closed anywhere from 2 days to 2 wks. Just answer their questions (and a lot of their questions are the same question asked different ways). Give them the info they need/want and let them call whoever they need to call. If you are doing everything right you will be fine
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Donât argue with the social worker when they visit your home. Let them explain what they are looking for and be open and honest with them. If they canât find anything that fits the report claim, then you have nothing to worry about. They are looking for healthy and happy kids and as long as you are doing that, you should be fine.
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If you did nothing, then change nothing. They sense when things are not the norm.
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Could you sign your kids over to your parents in case social services get involved. Then they wouldnât have to go to foster care.
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I was reported to DCS when my kids were teenagers. I know it was my ex. They checked to see that the kids had a room with a bed, food in the fridge and cupboard. They asked my kids if they were taken care ofâŚno biggie
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My ex did this to me 3 times and nothing ever came of it. Just be honest and make sure your house is clean. You shouldnât have anything to worry about.
Feel them out to see their intentions.If they âthreatenâ u, then seek legal counsel.
At this point make sure the children have clean clothing in closet and dresser drawers, food in the cupboards, clean rooms and beds for the children, if some one from child services come to talk with you have a witness with you, perhaps itâs a dead end report, it happens at times, make sure your children are in school when they should be, get involved with their school programs, if they appear to be pushing the issues you may need to find a lawyer that has experience with family law issues, donât panic.
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If you havent done anything wrong then you have nothing to worry about. Iv been reported by an angry ex before
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Make sure all meds and cleaning supplies are under lock. All firearms are under lock. All outside doors are locked securely. No child left alone at any time , even when asleep.
Do you use drugs or alcohol. Are your children fed, bathed and clothed. Do you leave them alone. These are some of the questions you need to ask yourself.
Youâve left out a lot of crucial information. What did they report? Is it valid or just petty?
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Stay calm, donât cuss, donât yell, make sure your home is clean and you have food in the house. What are the rules in your state ? Where I live kids under 12 can not be home alone after dark. It is the easiest way for them to remove children. Do you have a live in boyfriend with a record or other trouble, always pick your kids over a man.
Donât fail a drug test make sure you house is baby proofed and clean stocked with food and jobs money to pay for them
They really just look for running clean water, if the kids have food to eat and if where youâre living is livable and they see where the kids sleep. As long as youâre not beating them or starving them the case will be dropped in a month or so. They also interview the kids. If they are 4 or younger you can go in with them. If they are older then theyâll be questioned alone.
Always record every encounter with them. They like to change whatâs said and not follow through on what they say.
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If you know they turned you in ⌠Go to the social services first and tell them why you are there
If you didnât do anything wrong, you shouldnât have anything to worry about.
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Good luck because our family courts are a joke!
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Why would you put this on FB. If you are doing everything that you can do, donât worry about it. But if you done something wrong , you have a problem
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Most states want to keep kids with families. If you take care of your kids there is nothing to worry about
Document document document. Write down EVERYTHING. Names dates time places.
Wow confused. She states her hubby then was with a guy and got pregnant. Was the guy her hubby or boyfriend? Whereâs hubby
Be a good parent thats it.
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What have you done to get reported.
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Apparently ppl donât realize that anyone can turn anyone in. They donât have to tell the truth. Hearsay is admissible in Family Court. That entire system is corrupt. I feel bad for the OP.
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Why would you worry about it?
Document every conversation, email, every communication that you have with social services.
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Just be a good parent keep them clean fed and lots of hugs
Be the parent your children deserve.
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Whatever they are claiming do whatever to prove otherwise. Go above and beyond
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If you go to court get legal Aid or other attorney do not go alone.
Dont do anything to have them called, be a good parent.Boy that was tuff
Did they have good reason to report you? If they did itâs up to you to fix that issue. If they are just being jerks, that will be found out too.
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Depends on what you were reported for doing.
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If you take good care of your children they cannot take them.
Be a good parent. Provide. Protect. And nurture and dont be a lazy slob.
Thats about it.
Cooperate with then to demonstrate you ARE the responsibility parent!
Dont give out info without a lawyer. Dont let them in til u speak to an attorney.
Not the place for this.
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Be honest. Make sure your ducks are in a row. No one is perfect.
The first place they check other than your home is social media so I wouldnât be posting anything they can hold against you.
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My mother in law did that to me 30 years ago. DSS showed up @ my door I picked up my Children, & said here take them .case worker said I am not here for that .turned around & I never heard from them again. People are evil trust no one!
Donât sign anything. Period.
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Strangely she never said they didnt have a reason to call them and she stated inlaws which means they called on their son alsoâ:thinking:
Anybody can report anybody to Social Services for any kind of b*******. If your house is clean your kids arenât being beaten and you have food in the fridge youâre fine
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Dont do anything wrong and they cant take them!! No matter who calls
SimpleâŚtake care of your kids and your house.
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Have a good home take proper care of your kids.
Depends what itâs for. Be honest. My ex reported me 6x so far and never once have they even considered taking my kids. They see this alot.
Depends on whatâs going on in your house.
My former sister-in-law turned me in yrs ago⌠out of spite. She is toxic and I wouldnât allow her to be around my kids unsupervised. They interviewed my kids ages 11 and 4 and determined it was unfounded allegations and closed the case. It was outright lies⌠She had reported other family members with daughters. She had 1 daughter and was trying to get other peopleâs daughters. She did get my brother charged with negligence. For allowing her to be around his kids, she was supplying his 12 yr old with prescription pain meds.
It depends on the allegation.
I wish I could help you but I donât know how.
Tell them stop by anytime and check things out
Just be the best mother you can be and
stop worrying.
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Get a lawyer. Yesterday. Make sure they specialize in social services cases.
Depends on what they said and how true it is
Iâve had Social Services called on me 3 times bc of petty ass people and I won all 3 of mine.
They sent people out to check my kids and my home and get my side of the story and afterwards closed the cases each time 
Work w/ them 100%. Legal representation may not even be needed.
If your doing what your supposed to youâll win⌠Make sure your clean (NO DRUGS) your house is SPOTLESS your kids have decent clothes theyre going to school ect.
Why would you lose your kids?
I would get the advice of a lawyer on this immediately
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Depends on the circumstances. We donât know all the details.
Well thatâs vagueâŚCanât give a opinion on nothingâŚ
Depends on what youâve been doing to your kids honestly 
Just cooperate and they may close your case within a month
With all the horrible things happening to children and child services were called and nothing happened, I would say you were safe. Have what they need and everything should be fine. God Bless!
One important thing to remember is anything you tell them they write it down backwards like when they came out for my nephew they asked what we kept in our shed out back I told them our riding lawn mower they went back and put in their report that we had a riding lawn mower inside our house and they said we had 3 vicious dogs we didnât even have any dogs we had no animals at all and you donât have to answer all their questions or at least not be truthful with them I had them called on me once someone said I was beating my live in daughter and that I was starving her but the craziest thing is my daughter didnât even live with me social services came out to my place wanting to talk to my daughter I told them my daughter doesnât live here so they left and the police came because they told the police that I refused to let them talk to my daughter so the police came I told the police to get the fuck out of my house and that I have nothing here for you I slammed the door in their face and that was the end they never bothered me again you never be nice to social services they are there to be an asshole so give them what they came to do be an asshole back and donât answer any of their questions without an Attorney present
Donât be a shit parent and you have nothing to worry about. If the in-laws have evidence showing abuse or neglect, I hope they take the kids.
Legal aid are excellent attorneys.
What Cassandra Thorp said and ditch the sobâs too
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Behave and you need not worry!!!
Just because youâve been reported doesnât mean youâll lose your children. My kid tried that shit. Like 5 times. Dhs has closed every case. I feel bad that they wasted time on an investigation, when they couldâve actually been helping people that need it. In my area they hurt more than help though. Ridiculous
Lots of judgemental people on here.
Natalie Taylor. This so reminded me of you and your battles.
Dont know why they turned you in! Maybe the children are in danger or not being taken care of. You can move to another state. Or you can sign custody to another family member that you trust and then family children will not be involved. Do not have any contact with the in laws. Do what ever is best for your children. NOT FOR YOU. Put the kids first. Get you an attorney even if itâs a state appointed one. When the state has control of your children they can tell you when you cant and can see them. When someone you trust has control then itâs up to you and them when you can see them. But above all⌠do not put those children in danger. And make sure that you do everything in your power to take care of them. Food. Shelter. Doctor appointments. Clean place to live. Where is the dad in all of this? Make sure that you have education means for them. This is not about you. Itâs about them. If your not working then get a job and seek child support. You failed to tell how many children are involved and their ages. Whatâs the reason you were turned in? So much information missing. Maybe they would be better off with the grandparents. Just too much unknown to say what is best for them.
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