If your child can walk your child can clean up after themselves. My rules are in my home if I have to clean it, the trash bag finds it and we donate it to goodwill. I won’t ask more than three times. That is their home and personally they don’t have to help you all out with a place to stay and a roof over your head but they do. That doesn’t mean however you and your child or children can trash their home and expect them to clean up after you all. At five teach that child a sense of responsibility by teaching her one toy at a time and to clean up as she goes.
This is a catch 22. I agree with the in laws somewhat that the next time she’ll pick up her toys when asked but electronics are expensive and could have been just taken away for a few days. Hard call
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Not a kid friendly home, bad form.
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It’s time now to move out. As long as it is clean and safe accept a place that is less than you want and make do until you can get THE place you want. Reestablish your family, peace and your rules. Learn to love what you have and accept what you need. I feel for you but understand the abracesive atmosphere your in laws are creating. The most important things in life are love of family, health and happiness.
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I’ve been there and we left. Went to a hotel until we find another place. It’s better than being in a toxic situation and having ur child around it.
How long do you expect to stay? Get out as soon as you can. That was a shameful thing they did. I am sorry for your daughter. Will they do the same to you and spouse? Better check your room.
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Unfortunately their home their rules.
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- teach your child to take care of her things, and/or 2) find your own place so you don’t have to worry about it.
I was raised in a time where nothing was “put away” to keep me from breaking it … I was taught not to touch things that did not belong to me.
I was raised in a time where I was taught to make my own bed, keep my own things nice & tidy, and to clean up after myself.
I was raised in a time where I was expected to help with the household chores. Yes, by age 5, I was a master at washing dishes, sweeping and mopping floors, and helping wash the laundry. I knew how to set a table properly for meals. I knew how to vacuum the floor & carry the trash out & dust the furniture. These were not punishments; they were chores required to maintain our way of life. Everyone in the family contributed to the effort.
I was raised in a time where I respected elders & paid attention to them when they spoke. I did what I was asked to do the first time, not the second, third, fourth, or fifth time.
Yes, there were times I wasn’t perfect … I might forget to pick up a toy or put my bike where it belonged. I would be quickly reminded by the consequence of losing the privilege to use that toy or that bike for a “grounding” period of time.
I never spoke back to my parents.
I grew up in a time where we didn’t have electronic toys or cell phones or computers … we were happy, and felt very fortunate, to have any toys at all … and we showed our appreciation for them by taking care of them.
Maybe your in-laws could have put your child’s toys in a garbage bag, and put them away, rather than throw them out in the rain … but I’m sure it has taught your child a lesson she won’t soon forget. I wouldn’t recommend replacing anything any time soon. I’d wait until you’ve moved out.
I have 6 grandkids … ages 5 to almost 13 … and every one of them knows when they visit my home, they are expected to clean up after themselves.
I bet your daughter picks her toys up next she is told
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Tq
Asking them away would have been enough. They need to replace the electronic ones as they are the adult and acted like a child. This is not great behaviour to show kids.
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I do this with my kids five and 12 it’s my money i paid for it if i ruin it cause they didn’t listen that’s their fault my toddler is disabled along with learning disabilities and he UNDERSTANDS that his things need to be put away or i trash them they didn’t take care of it i will
They sound spiteful doing thta to a 5yr old.
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Get out as fast as you can
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They shouldn’t have thrown them out to be ruined but I do agree kids need rules & a 5yr can pick up themselves. It’s not toxic to have rules.
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Try to leave as soon as possible. This is not healthy environment for you or your child.
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It’s sad but it is their home and as many older adults who have already raised their children become, they may be cranky about having more kids to look after.
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Not at five… fifteen, twenty maybe with certain items that could not be irrevocably damaged to make a point with someone who has the neuropathways developed at least enought TO understand WHY it happened and that is a BIG maybe even in THAT case.
But at the age of FIVE?!
Nuh- uh.
The CLOSEST I would say would be to bag the items up, put them into storage and have her EARN them back.
Otherwise, hell naw. What does her father (your daughter’s, not the FIL) have to say about it? He needs to deal with HIS parents and protect HIS daughter.
Period.
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House rules should have been explained so no misunderstandings occur a learning curve for everyone concerned apologise and move on
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teach your 5 year old to clean up her toys. if she can pull them out she can clean them up. can’t tell you how many times i’ve done this bc my children wanted to be lazy. dnt like how ur in laws handled this then move out! their hour their rules .
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All of you “I bet next time she’ll pick up her toys” ppl are crazy. Taking her toys away until she learns to pick them up and destroying her toys (toys they didn’t buy by the way) are 2 different things. Some of y’all were exposed to this toxicity as children and it shows. Break generational toxicity. Just because they’re children doesn’t mean they don’t have feelings smh.
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They could have just put them away for a while. She could play with them later, but now there is no way. That’s what I did.
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Have a little talk with your daughter who should at five be able to pick up toys when asked to. Put any electronic toys away until your daughter has been able to take care of them without you present. Not the best arrangement so hope you can get into your own place soon. Inlaws were a little harsh but if a child cannot take care of her toys you should put them away until she can.
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I wouldn’t say toxic, but I would say she’s 5 and is old enough to clean up after herself and was not being respectful to her grand parents and that’s on her parents.
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I find this whole arguement ignorant! Stupid for the parent to not teach the child to pick up after their self and stupid of the grandparents to ruin them when they could have spent the same energy taking them away, they didn’t have to ruin them!
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I would take that as, they don’t want you guys there. I would take my daughter and go stay with a friend or anywhere else but there. And I know some of y’all are preaching up above their house their rules blah blah blah… While that may be true, what they did was immature and wasteful and mean and I wouldn’t stay another minute in the house. I mean I’m just completely shocked that a five year old didn’t jump and listen right away🙄They’re acting like they never raised children. Bottom line is ruining her toys was mean. Crappy grandparents
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In my home, if my granddaughter does not pick things up after being asked to do so, the toys are " thrown away". We actually put them in garbage bags and hide them in the attic. We’ve only had to do this twice, in the last 6 months. Now, when she has finished with her toys, she puts them away in her toy box. She got the toys back that were in the garbage bag, and we explained to her that this was her warning. Next time they will be thrown away and set out at the curb. It has not been a problem for the last 2 months. I think putting them out into the rain, may have been a little extreme, but I do understand the frustration of repeatedly asking them to pick up their belongings. With both of My daughters, and two grandchildren, living in the home, the housework becomes triple, and I am not doing everything for everyone at this point in my life. Everyone helps out, including the grandchildren. I believe that it builds organizational skills, also teaches her that she is responsible for cleaning up after herself.
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They should not have threw them out in the rain thats just pathetic, if she wasnt listening they could ha e took them away and put them some place else so she coupdnt play with them or even given her a time out for not picking them up but what they did is awful imo
Wow that’s just wrong they could have just helped her I am sure she would have helped I have had my grand children living with me I am a clean freak but while they lived here I was extra good kids need to be able to play I had toys everywhere but nightly they were put in a box or stacked up for the next day I think your I laws are arse holes sorry but I couldn’t do that to any of my grand kids I live them too much to hurt them like that sorry but my house goes to.the kids when there here when there not it’s mine what a horrible thing to do to any child while she watched by the sounds of it would have been heart breaking for her
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Only thing for you to do is to get your own place.
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Leave soon as possible and I wouldn’t be leaving her with them at all
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Wow. When I did this to my child for not picking up I just put them in a closet. That’s so horrible I’d be livid!!!
Bet she picks her stuff up from now on
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Maybe you should teach your daughter to pick up after herself. Some people would have threw the toys in the trash
I’d make them replace the electronic ones, especially if they didn’t buy them for her in the first place. Your belongings, and her belongings are NOT theirs.
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Bet they won’t have to tell her twice next time .
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Some of you people are sick fucks that think kids are robots
She should listen when told .but they should have just packed them in a box and punished her. Ruining them was out of line .
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very hard lesson for a 5 yr old. im sure she will clean up around them
I would get my ass out of there as fast as possible and it would be a cold day in Hell before they saw me and their grandchild again. I would never do that to my grand babies. 
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Good maybe she will learn to listen next time.
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TOXIC…get as far away from them as possible, and make sure they have no influence on your precious child!
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Next time she will pick them up
I bet they didn’t ask her only once
Their house their rules
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Sorry Their house Their rules.but they could of made a game out of it and helped her pick them up…she is only 5…how sad.
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My daughter had to take her own toys and throw them in the dumpster because she refused to pick them up.
Some kids actually need to learn rules and to do as they are asked because that’s how this world works.
All of us have to do what someone else’s asks of us. Like working for someone, the government tells us what to do… The kid needs to get used to it and learn to live with it.
I wish my kids grandparents were that hard on her. It was hard being a single mom and having grandparents that tried to undo everything I taught my daughter
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Move. Teach your children to pickup after themselves.
Is this a recurring issue? If it has been then maybe they were fed up with it. You can teach a 5 year old to pick up their toys. I don’t agree with them throwing them out in the rain though, that was drastic. They could have just as easily put them away where she couldn’t find them and told her that she can’t have them until she learns to pick them up.
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That’s an expensive lesson. She is 5. Not sure she gets that lesson yet. I’ve thrown coats/clothing and shoes outside like that but those were washable and my kids are in middle school. When they were 5 yo I’d bag it up and take the toys away for like a month and my make them read or draw. Something to make them miss and realize toys are gone. Id sit down and talk to the in laws about her age and the expense they caused. Tell them you understand and they are not wrong for wanting her to clean up bc after herself but it can be handled better in the future. Make peace cuz you have to live with them. Just my take on it. Good luck.
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Hope they pay for those that will no longer work.
Good Lord, I bet half of yalls kids don’t even talk to you anymore. Smh
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Would it had been better if the grandma fell over them and broken her hip!!
Two wrongs don’t make a right .Thats seems to be a harsh lesson for a five year old to learn.I
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Wow! It’s one thing to take the toys away for her not picking them up & then her having to earn them back… There was no reason to throw her toys into the damn rain & ruin them! She’s 5!! 
Understand that it’s their house. They were kind to allow your family to move in with them the decent thing to do is teach your child to obey once and pick up after herself especially in someone else’s house.
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Teach her to pick up. She’s old enough. I used to take my kids toys and put them in trash bags and hide them, but never tossed them out. It is after all their house and you are staying there. I’d try to stay on their good side if I were you.
I do the same thing to my boyfriends daughter who is now 8. She gets warning after warning to not leave her stuff lying around after awhile it disappears. Kids need to learn that their are consequences for not listening. Praise and fun is given for very good behavior and things get taken away for bad behavior. I do agree tossing them in the rain was harsh but it is their home.
She’s FIVE and this is absolutely too far. Fine, box them up and put them away for a few days to teach her a lesson about listening and picking up, but you don’t ruin the toys. It’s seriously only teaching her that her grandparents are mean.
When my daughter was 7 we had a similar issue with her not picking up her bedroom. I placed all of the toys in a bin and put them in the garage. Guess what, she knew I meant business but I wasn’t cruel. Down the road, when she was told to clean her room, she knew the consequence of not listening. I didn’t ruin her toys. I didn’t give them away. She lost them for a set number of days.
Your husband needs to handle this, with you at his side. They threw away perfectly good toys that they did not pay for. They took the matter to the extremes without talking to HER PARENTS first.
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I think teaching her a lesson is one thing because yes she does need to pick up her things but I do think this was taken to extra extremes. It truly sounds like a toxic situation and if it isn’t already it’s headed that way.
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Putting the toys in the rain was wrong i would have put them in a bag or at least told the parents to address the issue. My daughter did that with clothes i picked them up washed them folded them and put them in a basket in my room until she wanted a particular shirt told her oh sorry its off limits until you can learn to pick up your clothes held them for a day then gave them back. Never had another issue of her putting her clothes away or cleaning her room… nothing was ruined but she knew it wasnot tolerated now she is 29 and keeps her place immulacate
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Move out. Sounds harsh but it’s their home. It’s better to save and get your own place and don’t hold a grudge.
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Save up money & move. unfortunately some people are awful. I am currently in the same situation. I have to keep everything in our room and the outside toys every time my step dad mows he throws them. breaks them. Iv asked to just let me know and I can move them but he’s a jackass.
Try not to get angry, just keep saving money until you can get out of there.
my prayers are with you & your family
Their house their rules. Teach your daughter to pick her toys up when she’s told too. I tell my kids when I tell them to pick up toys and they don’t. The toys go in the garbage. I’ve thrown a few bags of toys in the trash until they got the hint.
If you don’t like in-laws rules on the toys you pick them up don’t let her have them til you are home. Or find a new home to live in. I threw my kids toys away when they left them out they didn’t care about their toys why should I
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Well sadly, like it or not, agree or not, it is their house. So if you oh don’t like the way they do things it’s time to consider moving out. I’d be pissed of that happened to my kid, but your recourse is to move and not worry about it happening again.
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Their house their rules.
Tell yo man to get to grinding.
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As a grandparent I think this is ridiculous ad wasteful, 5 year olds will be 5 year olds I feel what they did was just hurtful there are other ways to get children to pick up their toys.
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Sorry their home their rules. I can see taking them away for a while.
Maybe next time she’ll pick up her things
I’m not above putting toys in a trash bag, but to throw them outside is extreme. Definitely work on moving out of there.
My mom(grandma) would never! She would make the kids pick up or atleast put in a garbage bag and they gotta earn it back
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Pretty harsh but since it is already done maybe the child will learn the lesson and it will be worth It in the long run. Don’t waste a lesson!
Get your own place to live.
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I agree that it is their house their rules. But did they have to put them outside in the rain? Toys are not that cheap! Ugh!
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I believe in kids respecting adults and listening,however,respect is earned,not given! Your in-laws are very wrong for destroying her toys! They could have sacked them up in a trash bag and not let her have them. Destroying a child’s toys is just wrong.I would be moving!!!
Bit over the top the kid is only 5 for god sake … put them in a bag/box or something tell her she can have them back if she learns to put them away but to do that that’s plain nasty I don’t blame the kid for not wanting to even look at them … I’m a grandmother and I’d never do that, should be cherishing their time with her I know I am With my granddaughter no one knows how much time they have left
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Move out,
It’s not there job to punish your kids.
They should of spoken to you before throwing the toys outside
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Taken away to been earned back yes.
Purposely throwing her toys in the rain to get ruined is a massive no.
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It was not their place to practically destroy your childs toys over your child not picking them up. Maybe bagging them up and requesting you to not allow them back for a week would have been reasonable but what they did was uncalled for, their house or not. If it was happening and they spoke to you about it and you repeatedly did nothing about it then fair enough but no I would be furious. If someone allows you to live in their home it doesnt mean they can do what they want when they want in this way, that would be akin to blackmail. They should be prepared for a bit of mess having a five year old living there. I’ve never been in this situation but all I can say is you need to get out of this situation as soon as possible
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A bit over kill. Take them away, but in the rain.!? Not cool.
When my son wouldn’t pick up his toys I would pick them up where he couldn’t get to them and he still had toys to play with I told him if he didn’t pick them up you will soon you won’t have any to play with he knew I would put them up so he started to do what I said
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U can’t tell a 5yo to pick up toys and just expect them to do it. Sometimes kids need help with stuff like this! Very awful thing to do…teaching them a “lesson” should have gone completely different 
like put them in a closet or something sheesh
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Unbelievable that’s they went to that extreme. Yes bag them up and give them when she earns them back. Shame on them. Sounds to me like they were being the kids instead of an adult.
Wow what great roll models they are, what else happens when you’re not there!!!
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They didn’t need to throw them in the RAIN WERE THEY KIDS ONCE. AND PERFECT
Their house, their rules.
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Nope nope nope…
move out imagine what other toxic nasty things they are saying to that poor child if they think that’s exceptable behaviour.
Please don’t leave your child in there care again. That’s toxic and abusive behaviour. Children are not robots they are not “built” to react on the first command.
Destroying a child’s property simply because she didn’t pick them where is the logic in that. That sort of reaction from a trusted and loved family member can cause trauma in your child she will never trust them to treat her right or she will grow to believe thats normal behaviours from adults she’s not built to be obedient her brain is still growing.
Don’t ever allow Anyone to mistreat your daughter again. Put boundaries in place with your partners parents and do not ever let them cross that line again.
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That’s disgusting of them!!!
Pack up your non essentials and put them.in storage and get onto finding your own place. In regards to children , everyone does that differently, respect there way in there home. Do things your way in yours.
WOW! You need to get out of there ASAP
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Definitely toxic. I can understand taking them away but that’s extreme. I’m on your side girl. What does hubby say??
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You should have taught her to mind and pick her toys up when she was told to
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It’s your fault for not teaching her so get what you get
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How horrible! Nice out as soon as possible and don’t invite them for a visit.
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If she would if picked up her toys like asked it would if never happened. They asked her numerous times. You guys are in their house. They are helping you guys out. If you don’t like it leave. Maybe have a talk with your 5 year old (definitely old enough to know how to pick up her toys) about listening.
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I would have bagged the toys up and told her they are going in the bin.
Show her the bag going into the bin (where they can be retrieved and un damaged) once she walks away.
I get the punishment part of it but not the destroying the child’s toys part NOPE JUST NOPE !
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Definitely an irrational response from the grandparents. Rational thinking would of been I’m confiscating them. I’m more bothered that they don’t know the difference. The pride that sees no error. Yes she needed to be punished but to that severity? Absolutely not! It’s extreme to go from discipline to destruction. What they did made a horrible memory not teach her a VALUABLE lesson.
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My mom did this over a disagreement with the neighbors. I was right but she sided with the other parents because adults are always right. In my case I was grounded to my room with a window facing the street where my toys were & watched the kids take my toys. It f*cks you up as a kid. I would press charges against them for theft. Get out of there. Your daughters wellbeing doesn’t mean anything to them.
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And Where were YOU WHEN this happened? No really, she’s only 5, so where were you? I do believe your in laws are wrong and toxic. But i think you most likely are too. You just move in with someone let your kid throw toys all around their house, don’t watch your kid. Your in-laws are NOT free baby sitting services. If your going to move into someone else’s home you should always leave every room as clean or cleaner than you left it. You don’t move in other places and let your kid make a mess. You clean up after your own child. And when you leave you take your kid with you.
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This was not a right way to teach a 5 year old about not picking up her toys and just destroying them. They could have taken them away and given one back at a time and see how she could put away her toys that way. They should be responsible in replacing the toys that were wreaked bytheir foolish behavior!
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