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"My husband and I fell on hard times and had to move in with my in laws for a while… while i was working my in laws threw all of my daughters new toys outside in the pouring rain…when I got home and questioned them, they said they asked her to pick them up numerous times and she didnt…i am so annoyed because some of them were electronic and she just got them for her birthday (just turned 5) and now they are ruined…my daughter is gutted and I cannot even look at my in laws…they are still standing their ground over this because the toys " were in their way and she was not listening" i find this toxic…what do i even do?"
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"If go to a shelter or find elsewhere to live if they can’t respect your and your child’s property. There is other measures to take then damaging and destroying someone’s property. How would they felt if she threw their shit out in the yard? She’s a person too. Just because she is 5 doesn’t mean she doesn’t have feelings."
"That’s is so sad! And lazy! If they could throw them outside, then they very well could have thrown them in a corner or toy box too! Have your husband confront them with it being from his stand point, not on your behalf! How dare they!!!"
"Ask them to pay for what was ruined. Their choice of discipline makes sense to take away the toys but NOT ruin them and cost you money. Do what to can to leave. They owe you and your child toys"
"Although I do believe in listening. She is 5. Still growing and learning. Sounds like they have a lot of growing up to do. Hopefully you are able to find a new place to live soon."
"They need to pay for the stuff they broke! That’s ridiculous they are not the parents and have no say on how you punish your child !"
"Very toxic!! They need to replace some electronics if not all!! You need to stand your ground and find somewhere else to stay!! They seem useless and like the “power”! Your daughter will remember this and I wouldn't blame her if she didn't bother with them after you leave!!"
"They would be replacing them. They could have just as easily picked them up and put them in a tote or trash bag and put them up until you got home and let you deal with it. Who does that to a child? Did they think those toys didn’t cost money in an economy that’s already crumbling? How disrespectful."
"They could have bagged them up and put them out of sight but teach her to pick up after herself or do the ‘2 toy rule’ only have 2 toys out at a time xx"
"And they couldn’t just bag them up like they already did but just put them up so she can’t play with them for how many ever days. Come on now. To literally ruin toys that cost money I’d be asking for money or for them to buy her toys. That’s messed up."
"I would say that you are her mother, you bought her items and next time let you know and YOU will punish her how you as her parent sees fit. You may be living in their home but that gives no right to destroy property. That’s exactly what they did. There’s a way to do stuff and there’s a way not. I’d be furious if Anyone took matters into their own hands with my child, especially with their belongings that I bought."
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