My in-laws treat my kids differently/

All kids get treated the same blood or not! If someone don’t like it too bad. They don’t need to come around.

:person_gesturing_no:t2: nope. That’s how my mom treats my stepsons. I don’t play that game. I don’t even talk to my parents anymore and this is a big part why.

1 Like

This breaks my heart for your other boys. :cry: Your husband’s parents should treat them all the same.

Honestly, your husband needs to say something to his own parents. I doubt anything will change if it comes from you.

I would not let any of my kids around them if they went out of their way to make my son feel like an outcast. That’s horrible, they don’t deserve to be in any of your kids lives then.

I hope it gets better for your boys, that’s so sad, and I hope they don’t grow up resenting their brother because he’s getting special attention from their grandparents. :cry:

3 Likes

Yeah it’s wrong. I have 2 older kids that their father passed away when my oldest was 4 and my at the time youngest was 15 months old. I eventually remarried and got pregnant with my youngest. When I told my father in law (yes I still consider him that almost 8 years after my first husband passed away) that I was pregnant. His response was well does this make me a grandpa again. I looked at him and said that it was totally up to him if he wants to claim this baby as his grandchild. She is now 3 years old and goes over to his house on the weekends her brother and sister goes. He treats her like the 2 that are his blood grandkids. I will not allow anyone to treat the kids differently. I also have a nephew that is now 10 that came into our family when he was almost 2 my brother was engaged to his mom and was together for about 5 years and in that time they had a child together. Well she decided to leave but we still get the oldest when the youngest goes to see my brother.

5 Likes

Cut ties and dont let them around any of them until or if they can understand why

I would just say it. Call them out, hurt their feelings and don’t give a fuck. They’re hurting your kids feelings without any discretion, return the favor.

My mother in law refused to give my daughter a $ for ice cream. My daughter looked at my husband and asked why she didn’t and his mom told her, “You are not my grand daughter.” That was it. My husband told her off and ever since then we have not been close to them. Hardly go over. That was when my daughter was 8, she is going to be 20. Some in laws suck and some are great. If you so happen to get the sucky ones, you find other people for support. Friends. I’m sorry. Life is already hard enough, but to have these feelings makes it even harder.

all or none. End of story. No explanations needed. He married you, you came with 2 kids, therefore, they are now his kids too. If his family can’t see that, then they can sit in time out until they do.

2 Likes

Similar situation here, actually this morning convo with my husband. My in laws treating my bil’s kids like kings and queens… mine are Nothing more than peasants. Mind you all are their biological grandchildren. But the other 2 are the first born girl and 1st born boy.
They did the same thing with hubby and his brother (this man never did wrong and hubby was the pos)

If there are Not going to do for them the same, don’t except them.Tell them. Cause it going to get real bad and you will regret it. Give to all or don’t give at all.

My MIL is the same way with my daughter. She’s snotty with her, gets attitude with her about stupid shit and although my 6 year old takes it well, I always feel like I need to keep an eye on her when she’s around, to protect my daughter. I didn’t invite her to her birthday this year because she doesn’t seem interested in having an actual relationship with her. Mean while my mom treats all of our kids exactly the same and has since day one. She’s even kind of weird with my son (her blood grandson) but my older two bonus kids are treated so special. It’s beyond frustrating and I’m going to ask my SO to say something before I get really upset. The gift giving will make me lose it this year if something isn’t said.

I was the one treated differently by my sisters dads side of the family even though her dad adopted me. I was legally his daughter but every single person in his family hated me and never wanted me around. It destroys kids and you and hubby need to get a handle on it now.

All or no one. That’s my motto. They are brother and sister and should all be treated as the same. If your youngest is a toddler. I’d still say no. Too young. If the inlaws can’t accept your children how are they to enjoy the holidays. Will the youngest be the only child to get gifts? Your husband should be speaking to them about this.

I had a similar experience.
Only my 2 kids were her son’s. She treated her daughter’s kids like royalty & mine like they were found in the gutter. I used to wrap & bring gifts for my kids so they didn’t have to watch their cousins get all the gifts from MIL.
.
We went to counseling. The therapist told my husband that this cruelty is damaging the children & it is imperative that he speak to his mother & rectify this immediately.
I also threatened to keep the kids from being in her company to protect their feelings. He did speak to her & she did better, but it was clear that she didn’t live them the same as her daughter’s children.
AND THESE WERE HER SONS CHILDREN BORN 5 YEARS & 8 YEARS AFTER WE MARRIED.

If they all don’t get to go, none of them get to go. If all of them don’t get gifts, none of them get gifts! Those are some sad selfish people!

My motto was I’m not forcing my kids on anyone. If someone doesn’t want to spend time with my kids that’s their loss. I couldn’t imagine forcing them to go with someone who didn’t want them to go, then finding out they were being left out in their care. If they only request the one child let them go and do something special with your other kids.

Say it with your chest when you say it. Things like this should go without even having to bring it up. Sorry you & your kids have to deal with it :confused:

2 Likes

Some of my ex step family did the same to me when I was little half of them acted like I was only a burden but some didn’t and actually showed they cared and sometimes I still think about that so please talk to her before is a permanent scar on your babies hearts :heartpulse:

Your husband needs to have a talk with his family. It’s fine (and normal) for them to not feel the same way about your kids as they do their blood-grandchildren. Blending families is hard. But that doesn’t mean they get to intentionally leave the 2 out. If 1 grandchild in the home gets a treat, they all get a treat.

I think you should make it aware how your children feel hurt, and things have to change. If it doesn’t, then stop allowing them to be put in the situation. I am Mom, Grandma, great grandma. I treat them all the same. There’s lots of hugs and loving.I have serious health issues and I want them all to remember how much I love them. I bake with them, clear down to a year or two year old dumps something in. We decorate for holidays,etc. Gifts are age appropriate, or something they really want. When it’s birthdays, it’s big times, but also the siblings that isn’t bday will find something to unwrap for themselves also. Not as big as bday kid, but still.I try to get them something they want for Christmas, usually with help of parents on what to get. Even adults, they all get things,no favorites. Seriously, you, hopefully your husband will have special things to do with the kids. After sometime, maybe invite in laws to join but give them time to think. I wish you luck. Sending prayers and hope they wake up.

It’s you take one you take them all, do not to single out a child no mater the circumstances … best movie quote family = Ohana- no one is left behind! :wink: