No child deserves this. Stop letting her hurt your kids. Put your foot down now. If your husband don’t, than there be a big problem. Kids knows the difference.
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No that’s totally unfair. An example one year we had my
Little cousins for Christmas this isn’t even a blended situation but literally last
Minute my grandmother parents and uncle went out and bought for them. I’m also in a blended family and my step mother (who I consider my mom) and her entire family has always treated me as her own. They’ve taken me to Disney been at every graduation bought for me very good to me, and me and my sister have a 16 year she gap. No excuse to make children feel that way.
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I would have a sit down talk with them. You either treat them all the same or stay away. When it comes to kids you can really hurt their feelings in so many ways by leaving them out. As adults they know better. Shane on them.
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you came as a package deal so if they can’t respect that they miss out all together don’t worry about hurting a grown as$ persons feelings your not responsible for there feelings your responsibility is to your children’s feelings definatly speak up asap
The only way is to speak to her directly, it doesn’t help to try and sugarcoat it. Make an appointment to sit down with her, just the 2 of you and address the issue, don’t make excuses
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Wow sad I have a son with my husband and a son from a previous relationship my husband’s family thank god never treated my son that way they treated him like he was there own grandson. That is just rude and disrespectful to your children you come as a package and they need to accept that I would say something to your husband and you all need to sit down and gave a nice conversation with them and let them know that this isnt accepted that they will treat all your children equally! Good luck girl
Wow how very sad I’ve been with my husband for 13 years I have a daughter from a previous relationship and she is treated no different then our 5 children we have together her grandmother from the previous relationship even buys presents for my other children and even loves them as if they were hers I’m sorry you are having to deal with such bull
Your husband needs to have a talk with his mom. He needs to let her know how it makes them and you feel. She needs to understand to treat them all the same or do nothing at all for all of them.
Sit down with her and explain how hurtful it is for the boys. Hopefully she doesnt realize what she is doing is harmful as well as hurtful. You are a family and need to be treated as such!
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Talk to your partner; let him know how your older kids are feeling. Its his responsibility to address it with his family. I had a son from my first marriage and when my partner introduced us to his family (5 plus years ago) he made it clear that he would not tolerate any difference made towards my son and to this day his family loves my son as their own without making any differences between him and my now 1 yr old
About the time someone shows up to something with presents for kids except my 2… I’m gonna fight someone. Idc if she’s great grandma or not. That’s disgusting.
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I buy gift for all, it wrong! Would they treat adopt kids like that! Ymca say we all go to help you with our three kids! I dont care if there is no real bond don’t hurt a child! My grandkids where Foster the couple had 6 other kids in home! I got each gifts, my grandkids got couple more expensive but each had presents to open and cookies! I still am friends and give the family cookies!
I really feel like this is something that you could talk to your two kids about since they brought it up and encourage them to ask the grandparents why they treat them differently and express themselves to the grandparents if they feel comfortable. I would also caution that you talk to them about what responses they make receive. This is a life lesson for them as well as for the grandparents, I think that some people as you said just don’t see things the way others do and at least your kids would know the answer and where they stand, then all of you can face it/deal with it together. I truly believe that if they just simply went to the grandparents and asked “are we your grandchildren too?”That might spark a conversation or at least really make the grandparents think. There’s no guarantee you’ll change their ways but at least you’ve put that little nugget in the back of the grandparents minds… your children can learn to speak up for themselves ask difficult questions and still be respectful; while also realizing that not everyone in the world has the same beliefs or thinks alike and that’s OK. Then maybe it’s time for you and your husband to have a discussion about how to move forward based on the grandparents reaction.
I am speaking from experience here. Say something NOW , the older your kids get they will be hurt. If it continues this will become a problem in your relationship.
I lived this nightmare from my MIL. Take up for your kids-all of them! She had wanted anything to do with my boys. Then after my husband passed away when our daughter was 6, she wanted nothing to do with her either
Raising a blended family is Love One, Love them All…been there with my own kids
Well in our blended family it’s all or none
That happened after I had my first child for my husband I pack all of it back up and send it all back .
I was the one that helped raise another persons kids but I knew he had children when i got with him so deciding to keep that relationship meant I was agreeing to be their step mother too and that is what we did and my family treated them like they were blood even after our daughter was born naturally my parents have 9 grandchildren but if you ask them or anyone else they have 11. Even if I did not love them as of they were my own they are my daughters blood so they still would be treated the same because hurting them is hurting her. Be firm mama you got this if they love their biological grandchild then they will not hurt your boys
Hi, I really feel for you I grew up in a blended family and it can be uncomfortable for the children if the extended family treat them differently especially at home when everyone is one family. So my heart goes out to your boys in relation to this. I second the voices on here and I would speak to your partner so he can speak to his mum and grandma and hopefully when the situation is highlighted to them and they are educated about the situation they will be more considerate to you elder two. Unfortunately we can not control people places and things so if they do not change you cannot change this but you can change your reaction- for different people they will be comfortable with different things - it may be waiting until the next time and subtly and politely asking why?
Blended families are amazing but sometimes these things can spiral 
if bot dealt with rather than building up resentment towards them, or likewise your elder two going somewhere they feel they are not wanted.
If the extended family is not accommodating I would continue to let the see youngest, voice my fears and concerns and if they don’t adjust when they have youngest make a big fuss of your two eldest ie take them to the movies just the three of you so the time can be spent positively rather than dwelling on other people. Hope this helps x
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I would tell them you don’t treat mine like you do the others, you won’t see none of them. Tell them you are a blended family and everyone is treated the same
Never going happen - I been part of blend family since I was 5 years old. Never included - As a mom, its struggle - I raised my children as unit. Getting divorce - ex only see 2 of 3 children. Ppl suck.
Talk to your husband. If he doesn’t think your thought concerns are valid then this is always going to be a issue
we told family all the kids receive gifts or No one receives gifts! If they want to take kids somewhere they all go or No one goes. It settled the issue
It’s sad all the way around. My own family did this to me as a child.my cousins were given anything and everything and I was given nothing if any thing a cheap toy. One Christmas I had cousins that got brand new bikes and I got a barbie. My dad got up out of his seat and told my mom to get us girls ready to go home. And they never spoke to family for years.
I’m curious do all the other kids still get gifts from there biological grandparents from everyone commenting? I mean is it right if the other kids come home and the other kid now with a different dad that everyone expects his grandparents to buy for his siblings get nothing. I mean a small gift won’t hurt and I don’t think any child should sit at a family holiday and not receive anything while everyone else is but I don’t think it should be expected for the other family to go all out
My in laws did this for years to my kids and as they got old enough to be aware they didn’t want to have much to do with them at all.
I agree with all of the above! Both you and your husband should say something now. You are not in the wrong!!! These are children and they should not be made to feel that way. Either they all get something or nothing at all.
Put your foot down already! All or nothing, plain and simple. Kids are innocent and the hurt will last a lifetime.
You need to discuss this with your husband as it will become an issue eventually . Your MIL will take it better from your hubby. ( he can just say something like I except these two boys as my own and I need you to do the same )
I’ve been there , done that .
The longer you wait the worse it will be .
Don’t ask me to believe your MIL does not realize what she is doing. How do you think she is going to treat them when they are not in your company? Get real. Step up and be a parent.
We told the family if all kiddos don’t receive gifts n
Talk to your husband. He should back you on this. I have been a stepparent on two occasions. My oldest grandson has a stepdaughter that he has been in her life since mid pregnancy. Recently found out they are having another baby. I text him to congratulate him on his first child. He quickly reminded me that ( we call her June) June is his first child and he expected her to be treated equal. I have a very close relationship with my Grandson and I commend him for standing up for his children.
Straight to the point. Otherwise, you’ll give room for resentment to take root.
The innocent children, are the ones that are ALWAYS Affected by grownups stupid decisions. 
Your husband needs to speak to his parents. If he treats your children as his own then they should as well. If they are still really close with their dad and paternal grandparents then when your shared son goes to his grandparents then the other boys could go to their dads or your parents? If they have active grandparents they might not feel like they want to step on those toes either?
Damn. This is BS. I’m sorry. Your husband needs to talk to his family. The older kids are his too (even if not biologically) HE NEEDS to say something, not you. Honestly he’s failing you as a husband and the kids as a step dad. His first job is to protect his family. So tell him to step up.
Favorism is cruel, I’ve dealt with it for sure. Stand up for ur kids. Be there voice, they see and know they are treated differently so stand up to ur in laws about it. Ur kids can’t. Its not right. That’s the adults being petty.
Favorism is cruel, I’ve dealt with it for sure. Stand up for ur kids. Be there voice, they see and know they are treated differently so stand up to ur in laws about it. Ur kids can’t. Its not right. That’s the adults being petty.
I believe you should talk to her and tell her exactly what you told us. It’s nothing out of the way and it’s respectful. Now after telling her your concerns if she dismisses your feelings then by all means release your inner bad bitch!
Absolutely horrible that woman is to do that. How Petty and disgusting 
poor babies:sob: All the best.
It’s all or none. Period.
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I agree that your children should be treated equal to the youngest. In my opinion you have to talk to you husband and have him talk to his family and set rules. If they only bring a gift for the youngest don’t accept it ect. It’s all or nothing. He accepted you with your children. So they have 3 grandchildren not just 1
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Take them all or take none. Shame on them
I can’t imagine your husband allowing this this happen, he needs to take a stand with his parents immediately.
I look at people when they say something about one and not the other that there are two of them and if one can’t go the other can’t go either.
My husband’s family treats my daughter better who isn’t even biologically their grandchild better than my son’s who are biologically related to them. You have no control over how anyone treats your children. In a perfect world those ppl will be able to see the error in their ways
When my ex-husband and I married, we each brought a child to the marriage. We then had 2 daughters. My children are all adults now. My children were never accepted by by my ex-husbands parent. In there eye’s they have one grandchild and it’s his daughter from his first marriage.
Your “husband” has made the decision to be a step father to your children he needs to step up and talk to his side of the family to ensure they treat all your children equally
Does your husband recognize this too? I would say since it’s his family - he needs to be the one to talk to them and set boundaries that if family isn’t going to treat all his sons the same - then maybe they shouldn’t be a part of your family’s and everyday lives. Without him setting that boundary I don’t know how much effect your talk would have.
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Your husband needs to have this conversation with her. Not you. But if she’s not including the older ones I would tell her to take back whatever she does for just the young one.
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I’ll never understand adults that treat kids differently! Blood or not, children are children. They bloom with love & affection.
I would talk to your husband first and make sure you’re on the same page. Then talk to his family together as a united front. Give it some time and see if the behavior changes.
I will say though, I do not force anyone to be part of my sons life. You either will make an effort or you won’t be part of it. And if they aren’t making an effort than that will negatively impact the youngest sons life as well because he would not be going without his siblings, if that were me. While I understand there are times multiple kids might be too much or there’s a certain experience you want to do with one kid … ok that’s fine. But to show up at Easter with items for every kid except 2 … like, wtf does that? That literally takes zero effort to go spend $10 at the dollar store.
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I would probably start telling her no to taking just one kid. If your husband treats all kids as if they are his own, his family should too. And I think it should be your husband to have a talk with his mother. Because if you do it, it’s going to seem as if you’re the only one that has a problem with what she’s doing.
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Your husband should be having this conversation with her also ….
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A happy story about a blended family!! my sons stepmother and her entire family treat my son (her husbands first child) like a part of the family they treat me like family too they always make it a point to make my son feel included and wanted. Buying him little gifts or just giving him a lot of attention.
Now that my ex and his wife have their first baby, they STILL (all of them) treat us like we are important and special. I’m very blessed to have so many loving people in mine and my sons life! This is how u do blended families. Accepting and loving all individuals blood or not.
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Start refusing anything they want to do/give to the youngest. When they ask why, say if they can’t do something for all of them then they can’t for one.
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Package deal. If she can’t take all then she can’t take one. People need to stop doing children this way. Love them all equally or don’t love them at all. Children have hearts and feelings as well. Hugs to your boys.
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I would talk with your husband first and then maybe get him to say something. Also, if they can’t spend time with all of them then I wouldn’t let them spend time with one. It’s just not fair to the other children.
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You shouldn’t need to say anything. Your husband should deal with this. He should’ve dealt with the issue as soon as it started.
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I would tell them if ur not gonna include my youngest brothers also then they should just forget the youngest also. Shows they don’t care about them. To not include them is mean. Had a friend who this happened to messed her up . She felt so unloved.
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My mother-in-law did the same thing…my oldest from my previous marriage always got less than my children with her son when my daughter turned 13 at Christmas she gave all three other children a gift told my daughter your to old now to get a gift that broke her…I never looked at her the same… all though all her other grandchildren were always given gifts…broke ties with her …and never looked back it drove a wedge between my children it’s hurtful
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I went through a similar situation with my mother in law. My kids were number one until my brother in law( he is the favored son). Had kids, my kids didn’t hardly exist after that. My kids are 28 and 30 now and they have no relationship with their Grandmother. She wouldn’t know them if she would run into them somewhere. I don’t speak to my in laws.
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My late European MIL treated my son and daughter VERY differently even though my hubby was her son and father of both. Because he was a boy she worshipped the ground he walked on but paid very little attention to my daughter. She wanted my son every weekend but said my daughter was too much of a handful - she wasn’t. She would give my son $50 for Easter and gave my 10 year old daughter one of her old nighties 
. It was very obvious and I was just honest with my daughter - Gramma isn’t fair and it’s wrong. Oddly enough, when she was in palliative it was my daughter who slept in her room every night and my son maybe visited twice in 3 weeks. My husband wouldnt say anything so my advice to you is just to be honest with the kids. Explain it has nothing to do with them - it’s just she’s not always fair or kind.
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We had a blended family growing up and my step brothers grandma from other side of family bought me gifts for Christmas. They weren’t extravagant gifts, but it was the thought of ALL the grandchildren get gifts. I’ll never forget.
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Speak up and if all kids can’t go no one goes Period, if younger is invited all are going or none are going put your foot down now. Maybe hubby should do the talking to his family, if not you go ahead NO FEAR. I also had two kids when I remarried but starting with my hubby he always MADE sure to include mine too and his family has always been wonderful to my kids also, well they are now 54 & 53 now they do what ever they can for their DAD in return because he is Dad.
That’s wrong and I think your husband needs to speak up too.
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We had this same problem in my son’s home. He adopted a fourteen year old son who was a foster child that same year. Two years later they had their first natural child my daughter-in -law was bothered by the fact that her father and step mom treated the children different. When they came over they would bring treats and gifts for the baby but nothing for the older child. My DIL handled this by telling them this was inappropriate, they don’t have to spend a fortune on the older child just bring something even just a bag of snacks. Then he wouldn’t feel left out it was all handled very diplomatically.
Honey I go threw same with my inlaw but my husband had son before we had our 2 son and they forget there birthday and all I took it for years and finally when I son notice the difference ask to stop seeing them that’s when I stop taking my sons to visit. It’s been five months they still have not come to see these kids. It’s heart breaking
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Not all blended family is the same. Blood really is thicker than water. As mean as that is, it’s the truth. You’re children are not related to them at all….if you left tomorrow, the only link they have with you is your youngest. Yes, it’s unfair.
You might just mention that your kids feel very left out. It’s not their fault they’re in a blended family. Sometimes when we put it from a child’s perspective the picture becomes as clear as glass!!!
Get your husband on board; let him talk with her while you’re present to avoid ANY miscommunication. If he doesn’t, then take her “for coffee” and talk frankly, kindly, respectfully.
Time to talk to your husband about this… then he can talk to his parents… if things don’t change, I wouldn’t bring any of them around, then maybe they will understand how they are hurting you and the kids.
i think sometimes the MIL thinks “well, they probably get presents and outings with their other grandma that my grandkid doesn’t get”
which is still wrong in my opinion but yeah maybe that’s how she’s thinking
or maybe she is just intimidated for some reason
Have you tried sitting down with your husband first and talking about it? Then the both of you talk to your in-laws about it?
We are a blended family as well while my mil never ever treated my daughter differently my brother-in-law did until I said something after our son was born. I view my in laws as my family too. Its not just my husband’s responsibility to deal with them its mine too.
U r right, it happens unfortunately, u must put down your feet for ur kids but politely and bring this issue with your husband as well his mother too; do not hesitate, if the your kids r older, u cAn discuss with them too, kids r resilient and very understanding. Good luck
My ex inlaws too , it’s their loss not yours 
it’s your job to teach your kids that they matter to you and their dad , everybody else is just extra 
If you need to speak equality to these adults we’ll might be a good time to pack up and go.
If one child eats, they all eat! Simple as that. And the in laws and grandmother ought to know better.
I had the same issues. We (hubby and I) made it completely clear it was a package deal. You see and treat them all the same or you see NONE of them.
Definitely needs to come from your husband
Talk to them now before it gets too bad and it ruins your relationship with them for good! Just be honest say how you feel .
If she cannot be grandma to all then it is grandma to none!
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If your kids are saying something and it bothers them then your husband needs to balls up and say something.
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Your husband needs to handle his side of the family.
Sending you lots of love… it’s really difficult xx
You are your kids voice
I’m so sorry that’s awful
Your husband needs to be the one to talk to her. If she can’t treat them equally she doesn’t get to spend time with any. Mu parents always included my stepkids from day one.
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Don’t worry about sounding mean State your feelings about it idc who sees me as mean when it comes to my boys
Sometimes you gotta be blunt about it.
If it is like my situation that’s on your man to check his family if he dont then your in a losing battle and from my experience choose your children over any man and his family they will abandon you and your kids and try to turn your own youngest child against you
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For one this is very heartbreaking to read! But If she can’t treat them the same then she doesn’t get to do good deed for the younger. it’s not okay to do only for one in not the others that can mess with them kid’s head so bad to where they can’t stand to be around the younger brother or want anything to do with his part of the family. and in my eyes all kids should be treated equally blood or not she’s wrong to do that to them babies! smh it’s disrespectful to them and you put your foot down now mama and let her understand you don’t care if one is her blood line or not ’ treat your children all the same or don’t none at all because it’s not okay to make any child/children feel left out or like they don’t matter because all children should feel loved and wanted and comfortable at the end of the day 
btw I’m sorry you’re children are dealing with that they deserve lots of love and hugs 
maybe try doing something fun with them to make their day and to get it off their mind.
This is a husband problem, not a mil problem. Because you’ve surely discussed this with him. He needs to fix his own people. If he won’t do that for you, you’re wasting your time. What do you look like having issue with his people while he sits back and let’s it go down? 
Talk to him. He needs to get his mom on board with being a whole ass family periodT.
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When I met my husband he had an 8 mo old son. Raised that boy like he was my own-he is 27 now and we are still super close. We had a son together when the oldest was 10. My MIL has nothing to do with the youngest. She sent me an email saying that she can’t relate to him and doesn’t really like him because he is mine! We do not get along-married 25 years and she never accepted me. My son said “Don’t worry about it mom. I don’t like her either!”
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Put your foot down and talk to grandmom. If things don’t change then I would keep my distance with all my kids.
I completely agree with you.
If she can’t be a grandma to all your kids, then she shouldn’t be a grandma to any of them. I’d have your husband, or even yourself let her know that it’s all of them or none.
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If you have an otherwise ok marriage I wouldn’t break up a marriage over it, but you’ve got to save your kids from that situation. That is gonna affect their self esteem for the rest of their lives. I would talk to those family members and let them know if they don’t treat all the kids the same they won’t be in their lives at all.
It sounds really awful but I just wouldn’t let the youngest go anywhere with them or accept gifts if they can’t treat the other 2 the same! That’s not even right. When they ask and you turn them down, they’ll ask why. Tell them the truth. That it bothers the boys and it’s not fair to them.
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Ask your husband for help.
On Holidays like Easter, have backups…bring out something wonderful for your boys that are excluded…make a huge deal presenting them…
Its awful what the family is doing…I’d have to confront it!