My in-laws are asking us to come over for dinner every weekend. It gets to be so much. My husband and I already work opposite schedules since he has retail hours and I have a standard 9-5 job. We already have a shortage of time together since he has to do some nights and weekends. My MIL wants us to let our son have a sleepover at least once a month. She has no visitation rights, and it’s not like I’m in a position where I want time away from my child. I enjoy spending time with the 3 of us, and that is what is getting me through my dad’s health issues and this pandemic. We can’t see my family because my dad has critical health issues and can’t get covid or any other illness since it would be detrimental. They don’t seem to understand that we need space, and they are always calling and inviting us over. It gets stressful because you don’t want to disappoint them, but it’s so much. Help.
Do you have your husband’s support? Has he talked to his family?
There’s nothing wrong with saying thanks so much but we are exhausted and need time to relax and spend time alone, thanks so much for the invite and we’ll get together soon. Be polite and take a weekend to see them, compromise as they are his parents and your child’s grandparents.
Id say we need a few weeks to recuperate but we will make plans soon. Maybe do Easter together
I was with you until the last part where you said “you can’t see your family”.
Are you sure there isn’t a little bit of jealousy that he can see his family and you can’t see yours?
Also, “no visitation right”. What does that even mean? It’s grandma. And she’s willing to take your son overnight once a month so you can spend time with your husband?
I mean, unless she’s a total monster.
Set a schedule your comfortable with an keep it, but it sounds like she just wants to see you guys?
Maybe your MIL thinks she’s offering you and your husband some alone time/a break with a once a month sleepover? It’s okay to set your own parameters for dinners(like maybe twice a month?). I understand it’s frustrating but it sounds like she loves the 3 of you a lot and wants to spend time and help out. Try talking to her about it. Let her know you love the idea of it, but need some alone family time, too.
She does it because she loves all of you and is lonely, be thankful !!!
You cant make everyone happy, so don’t try to. Every weekend is a lot and no one has a right to demand time or overnights to your kid. No., is a complete sentence.
As someone who was never close with my grandparents, I’ve made it a point to be active in my grand son’s life. I keep him overnight a couple times a month.
Maybe set up like every other Saturday night your son goes over to your MIL house for the night. Dinner twice a month shouldn’t be too much or at least once a month.
If you have it planned out then she will stop asking all the time.
Once a month to take ur son isn’t much that’s brilliant they want to have bonding time with there grandchild I loved staying with my gran when I was younger , as for having dinner every week it’s only 1 day I think it’s good there trying to see there son if u don’t want to go let ur husband and son go it’s his family after all , us that once a month to spend time with your husband while the wee one goes to the grandparents
Can I let you in on a secret? Most of my childhood memories are of spending the night with my grandparents. And I didn’t lose much time with my family because their house was practically a second home to all of us. It has absolutely nothing to do with wanting a break from your child. Let them be grandparents. Mine died just months after my first baby was born and it hurts knowing that my kids will never get to be a part of that.
Once a month to stay at grandparents doesn’t seem to much. I loved those sleepovers growing up and still have a wonderful & close bond with my grandparents. Use that as date night with your husband. Plan once a month to have dinner with them. Prior covid our family tried to have once a month dinner at my grandparents. He turned 90 in Jan & my grandmother will be 87 on the 16th. We have been blessed to have ours this long.
Blessed with 5 generations.
The husband needs to handle it.
Have your husband talk to them if he has an issue with it as well. Speaking from experience, it’s better it comes from him and not you.
Every weekend is a LOT for someone who is struggling with barely finding family time between the three of you. She may just love you guys, want to see you, and that’s wonderful! However, boundaries are needed. You need to focus on you and your family first. You can’t exhaust yourself letting your kid stay with other family members, while you, the PARENTS, are left wondering how everyone else but you guys get time alone with your family. Your family comes FIRST. Have your husband say…one weekend for dinner/sleepover is the most we can do with our busy schedules.
Dinner once a month and sleep over on the same weekend. Let them be grandparents , but set boundaries.
I am all for boundaries… and there is nothing wrong with saying no every now and then especially to the every weekend dinners. but all I can say is you should feel lucky and blessed to have a family that wants to spend time with y’all and take the kiddo ONCE a month (which doesn’t seem like a crazy request). That is your husband’s parents and your child’s grandparents. Unless there is more to the story and they’re awful/toxic etc i do not see a problem. I mean… think about the flipped coin. If it was YOUR family… food for thought.
When I was a kid some of my best memories were getting to stay at my grandparents. I wish my children where able to have the same experience as I did. Once a week may be a lot for dinners since your schedules are hectic but once or twice a month I can see doing. Trust me when they are no longer around you are going to wish they were.
Honestly youll miss it one day
Just say you’re 
sick last minute l
Do what you feel comfortable doing. If you don’t want your son staying there the night just say no, there’s nothing making you do that. If you don’t want to go there every weekend, say no not this weekend maybe next sorry. You and your little family needs time together on weekends too, just cause you all are together during the week it’s not the same cause of work.
Spending the night once a month wouldn’t be bad. I’ve struggled with almost the exact same thing my inlaws would call us daily wanting us to come over every evening and would call wanting our kids every weekend they would literally see them everyday and on top would want our kids to stay the night every single weekend it got exhausting we couldn’t spend any time alone or as a family even during the week after work. My husband was part of the issue because he wouldn’t say no even when he wanted too. My husband finally had several talks with them about it. It took awhile but it stopped. It got to where it was almost unbearable I couldn’t breathe or be at my own home aside from work or time for bed. If they was to want the kids to stay the night once a month I wouldn’t mind that at all but not every single weekend along with having us at their home every day. So I feel you on the every weekend thing.
Be grateful you got a family that loves you. Good grief.
I wish someone would cook me dinner every weekend.
I always went to my parents every weekend, if my husband wasn’t with me, that’s fine I was going by myself. He and I worked opposite shifts at the time as well. I would give anything to be able to go every weekend again, and for my kids to have that routine again. I don’t see an issue with their request, but if it is too much on you, I’d definitely plan out the events and see if they agree as well. I understand it’s hard to do things some times, and that “my own little family” bonding time is crucial as well. I’d definitely let your child stay the night once a month, because that gives you and your husband time for yourself and that’s a crucial part of marriage as well.
Best of luck
Send the kids some weekends while you and your husband have a date night.
They want once a month overnight visit and you won’t allow it? There is really no good reason to say no unless they are neglectful and abusive and that doesn’t seem to be the case. Also just because they invite you to dinner every weekend, doesn’t mean you have to go. At the same time I still don’t see it as a big deal. My husband and and I only see each other for half of Saturday and half of Sunday because of our work schedules. But we host family dinner every Sunday night with us, our 3 kids, my mom and step dad, my sister, her husband and their 5 kids. You don’t want every weekend. That’s okay. But you shouldn’t just flat out deny dinner invitations and sleep over invitations.
I understand this may be difficult now but there will come a day when there’ll be no more weekend visits/dinners & no more sleepovers. Life is fleeting. Enjoy this time while u have it. You’ll come to find out it was a privilege & an honor.
The love they have for u & ur spouse is never ending but the love they have for their grandchildren is goes way beyond that.
Can you think of any other excuse? Wow! Let the grandparents have a sleep over once a month! Take time for you guys!
I think the sleepover is ok if it’s only once a month! That gives you and your partner at least one night a month to do whatever you want to do. With the dinners, I’d make it know ahead of time that you want family time at home that weekend. If they get mad, that’s on them. But this sounds like a communication problem like you haven’t explained your feelings to them, or at least explained them to your husband so your husband can talk to his mom.
I was raised spending every other weekend at my grandparents (they alternated weekends with my sister,. We were the only two grands for 8 years)and we ate Sunday dinner every week after church with them. They just want to spend time with their grandson and build family traditions. I have 6 grands.( Three sets of siblings) The 4 that live in town I try to get often. The other two live 6 hours away and we video chat daily with my daughter and her boys.
Think of how you will feel when you have grandbabies. I would hope you’d want to be in their lives as much as possible.
Maybe tell her you can’t every weekend and you have plans. As for her wanting to take your sons, talk about lucky! Lol I have 4 and nobody offers to take my kids for a sleepover. Ever.
It’s ok to say no once in a while. Just say I’m sorry but not this week, we are really tired or have other things to do. Maybe they just want to extend the invitation so you know you are welcome to come.
Grandparent or not, forcing someone to do something they are not comfortable doing is bullying. Plain and simple. All of our individual childhoods and feelings aside, THIS woman is not comfortable with it and in no way should have to send her child somewhere when she simply just wants to spend with them herself. Period.
People have little to complain about. Usually the MIL. Can’t stand the DIL.lamo
I dream of getting this kind of offer. 
I wish my in-laws were more involved. I don’t think she’s really asking for that much.
Just say no. Practice. NO. Do it again. NO.
I’m sorry but coming from a person who just lost her 58 yesr old mom and who’s mother in law has stage 4 cancer. Your child isn’t going to have her grandparents forever I get its annoying set some boundaries but at the end of the day you can blink and they can be gone and then your child won’t have that option anymore so I’d look at it that way. And still let them nicely know not all the time
They deserve a relationship with their grandchild and once a month isn’t much! Let them have that. We are all miserable during this pandemic just think it’s been a year and some have had enough of loneliness and separation. U don’t have to go for dinners but let them see their grandchild. They are at risk to but choose love over fear.
We dinner every Sunday with my parents! My husband loves it!
This makes me so sad as I have no extended family & would do anything if my kids could have memories of overnights with their grandparents. Time is precious & a few hours once a week to have dinner is great tradition to have as someday it might be You wanting to be involved with your kid/grandkids.
I would of gave anything for my children to been able to know their grandparents. Life is so short try to work it something out. I would of love to been ask over for dinner after working all day, it would of been a blessing.
Tell them you already have plans.
Just tell her you have plans. Or just flat out say no. There doesn’t need to be a reason.
Gma just wants 1 night a month and ur throwing a fit? Thats honestly sad. I have 9 kids and 7 of them are at their mawmaws almost every weekend bcuz they love spending time with her and she loves having them over. Only my 2 toddlers stay home bcuz they still sometimes wake during the night. Be grateful u have a mil that wants to have a relationship with her grandbaby. As for dinner tell her u guys can do 2 a month or something. Heck we have my in laws over almost every weekend…again we love the time with them!
I would let my kids go for a sleep over once a month! Thats amazing they want to be involved in their grandkids life! I would allow my child to go. But i would say maybe have a family dinner once a month on a sat or sun night. & then if you guys have time & want to get together other days then do that. I would give anything to be able to see my family. With covid we havent been able to travel to see them since 2019
You can’t control other people’s feelings, how they react to your needs is not your problem. Stand your ground, her wants don’t come before your families needs. The pandemic has been hard on everyone, but feeling guilty for setting boundaries during a time when thing are already stressful is a waste of energy.
I can understand not wanting to go every weekend, but if a grandma wants one night with her grand baby a month then let her. It’s ridiculous not
To. You don’t know if she’s struggling either. My favorite thing when I was little, and even now (yes I’m 21) is to have sleepovers at grandmas! As of the dinner thing, maybe make that a once a month thing too. On dinner date for the month let him stay.
My inlaws have my daughter stay over often and it’s nice to have some us time. Not many people get the offer of having a night off. Take the opportunity. Have a date night.
They are probably miserable with the pandemic too. If he wants to go let him. Have some date time with just the 2 of you.
Also I want to point out why would she need visitation rights to have her grandchild over once a month. Someday you will be the mother in law and the grandma. Do you want to be pushed away? Let her spend dinner with her son and grandchildren you sound like because you cant see your family you dont want to bother with his.
Girl! I would LOVE it if my husbands family made any attempt to check in on my children let alone come over & visit. You should consider yourself lucky to have a loving family that just wants to spend time with your kids. I know with your schedule it’s a bit chaotic but they mean well. I’m sure you can work something out. Maybe you can visit every other weekend & have the kids go over for a little while. There’s nothing wrong with them wanting to be involved in their grand babies lives. Jesus Salgado we have the opposite problem lol
Have you explained your feelings to your husband and in-laws? Maybe you can compromise. - say dinner at the in-laws twice a month, likewise your child sleeping over.
Maybe you could set up an arrangement for once or twice a month . Explain to your Mil you also need alone time with just your family . I will soon be a MIL and would rather my DIL tell me exactly how she feels than not . We have already agreed we will do that . Feelings may possibly get hurt from your in laws , but it’s always better to be honest .
Wow this is really a issue for some people???.. Man what I wouldn’t give to have this. My daughter is nearing 15 only spent the night with my grandma her great gma twice and only because I was in the hospital one time with a surgery, second time in the hospital again having a baby. Never just slept over ever. Never with my own parents my mom lives out of state and my dad has his own life.
At some point you won’t have your in-laws there it’s good to see in-laws
You should feel blessed that his family feels like that about you all. Kids’ fathers family has nothing to do with mine. A sleep over with your son once a month is hard for you? One out of 30 to 31 days except february? U realize they wont be around forever. And the relationship your son needs with his grandma is important. Why not let him stay with her so you guys can have a date night. Dinners with family are a great way to bond. A lot of people dont have what you have.
Try to compromise. Maybe dinner every other weekend and let the kid stay one night on a weekend that allows you and your spouse to be alone for a date night. You’re lucky they want to spend time with you guys. Family is so important and not everyone has that.
Grandparents are so important in a child’s life! I was very close with my grandma and great grandma, I’d give anything to have them still here on this earth. Let the kid go once or twice a month to have time with them. The relationship is so important. Plus, right now in this pandemic, everyone is struggling. Be thankful and grateful that they are not in a nursing home with no visitation allowed for over a year. I am a nurse and I work in a nursing home, we recently started allowing short, monitored visits for one family member. Our residents were so depressed and some gave up. Maybe instead of complaining that they want to spend time with you and your kid, thank God that they are still at home and alive and able to do things with y’all. One day, they won’t be able to and you’ll feel like crap. Maybe instead of having a family dinner every weekend, do every other weekend. Enjoy the time with just you and hubby once or twice a month. Your son probably wants to see them as well, kids need a break from parents too. I get wanting to spend time with just you 3, but it seems like you’re using you not being able to see your family as a reason to keep you, hubby, and the kid away from in laws, and that’s not fair. If you are stressed or upset about not seeing your family, don’t use yours as “therapy” to get you through this. They are your safe space, not your therapist. Please, for the love of all things holy, spend time with the in laws and let the boy go for sleepovers!!
Tell her you are grateful for the offer, but respectfully decline for now. She doesn’t need an explanation. Nobody needs to explain why they make the choices that they do. It’s your choice… just make sure your husband is on the same page as you.
Just be truthful
I tell my kids they know their schedule and when and if I can have my granddolls I like Friday nights, I have a daycare so I like to have my Saturday afternoons and sundays with no kiddos .
Unless they really need me .
Parents forget what is like to work opposite shifts and want to spend time with whole family.
Just be honest !
Before the pandemic started my granddaughter who was 3 then was coming to me for 2 nights a week
It’s always helpful to have them used to staying with someone else in case of an emergency
As for dinner at mil weekly
If it is really not what you both want get hubby to chat with her x
I’d love someone to take my kids once a month. I don’t even get once a year n I’m a single mom of 3. Let ur kid have a relationship with the grandma, wish mine could!
As a child, we went to my grandparents every weekend for Sunday dinner. We would be there from about 2pm-6pm. Wouldn’t trade those memories for the world!!
What’s wrong with grandparents having time with their grandchild? You should be happy to have them in your lives and that they are loving
So do every other week. It’s nice to have in laws that want to see you and your family.
My son stays at my grandmother’s (His great grandmother) house once a week. They have the most special bond. Let your son go have a fun night while you relax and enjoy your partners company
When I was a kid I remember being at grandparents house almost every weekend from Saturday to Sunday and went home on Sundays
For those asking why she has problem with the grandparents having their grandchild…she never said that. She said she wants to be able to spend alone time with her husband and son and there is nothing wrong with that.
The dinner thing just compromise tell them you will go every other week or the first and last week of a month ,I may be missing something but why do grandparents need visitation rights to see their grandad child one night a month ???.
Having a bond with you grandparents is one of the most amazing things I adored mine and God I wish they where still here to see my kids growing up, but
now my kids go to my mum twice a month (her choice) and they love it ,she loves the time with them and hell I will be honest I get to pee in peace for 48 hours 
My god go eat n b glad u don’t have 2 cook. N send ur child 4 an over nighter n enjoy alone time with ur hubby. Ur lucky. One day this may not b an option n u will miss it.
Just say no. You don’t have to justify it.
Your very lucky. I wish I had had that. My ex in laws never tried to have a relationship with their grandchildren and it’s sad because it’s the kids that miss out. The more family that love and want to spend time with you and your kids and invite you over, the better. I think it’s really nice
"She has no visitation rights ". You’re funny.
Be grateful they want to spend time with you.
Maybe see if you can drop the kids off with them every other weekend, give you all some free time. No matter if its needed or not. Your marriage deserves some of your time to.
You all don’t need to go every weekend but let the kids enjoy building a relationship with their grandparents. They won’t be here forever.
Eventually the grandparents wont be alive…and your child will have no clue who they were…staying over 1 night a month?.. be happy they want to be in your life…also I’m not a fan of mil…but I never kept my child from them…
I can see where every weekend is too much. Your husband can say “how about once a month” and let the sleepover happen that night as well. They just want to spend time as a family
If you don’t want to sacrifice weekend time, could the sleepover be during the week? Is your time with them on the weekend just dinner or is it an hours long undertaking? How about doing something as a family you can all do together instead, like a boat ride, a hike in a park, trip to the playground, a safely distanced kids movie in a theater? Could the grandparents take your child out of day care for a day while you are working so you don’t miss any free time with him?
I see mine everyday… weekends aren’t too much 
I am so grateful that my husband’s family enjoys family time. We go over every Sunday for family lunch…and now since I just became a grandma, we get my grandson at least one day during the weekend. I am so thankful that my husband and I agree on the importance of extended family and grandparents…and instilled that in our children.
I miss my parents so much. That being said maybe do once a month. And I agree with others that one weekend day for sleepovers would give you and hubby some along time which is something everyone needs
They won’t be around forever…
Family dinner once a week isn’t alot to ask for. They won’t be around forever so enjoy them now while they are.
My siblings and I LOVED when we got to sleep over my grandparents house. I still try and see them as much as I can, and every weekend is dedicated to my kids seeing my parents and my MIL and SIL.
You can say to her how about we do dinner once a month on a weekend if you don’t want to see her often but I just cannot imagine that. I come from a family where not only did I live with my grandparents a few times during my life, I would see them everyday when I was in elementary school and practically every weekend.
Just say “NO”! What’s the problem?
If once a week is too hard, pick an evening once a fortnight for dinner. And once a month is totally fine for your son to have a sleepover at his grandparents. It’s important for his development and well-being to have meaningful relationships with extended family. A child can never get enough love. And if you’re not ready to be separated from your son some times, imagine when he’s older and he can’t fit you in for a meal once a week because he wants space. You’re in laws aren’t asking for much.
I have no advice but I can understand your feelings. We work 40 hours a week away from our kids and when it’s finally time to spend quality time with them, we’re supposed to hand them over to other people who also want to see them but only on the weekend when it’s the only time we really get to be with them. We see them after work but it’s not considered quality time as we have to cook, clean and prep for the next day. I’m currently working from home so now it’s not a big deal to be away from them (sometimes I want to lol) but when I was working in the office I felt very guilty being away from them the only chance I was able to be with them. Good luck, hope you find a resolution. Sometimes no matter how you try to convey your feelings or concerns people try to twist it and not show empathy, making you feel guilty for “not letting you see the child”.
I love it when my daughter comes over to eat with me and my SIL + GRAND BABIES ITS A TRUE BLESSING BUT I ALWAYS ASK THEM IF THEY ARE UP TO IT I DON’T LIKE TO PRESSURE THEM BC I KNOW THAT THEY HAVE THEIR OWN SCHEDULE
Put yourself in her shoes. One day your son will be grown, and possibly have a family of his own. You might be that MIL asking your son to come over for dinner every weekend. I don’t think it’s crazy that she wants to spend time with her son and family. Seeing her once a week for what 2-3 hours, is not that much. I think it’s great the grandparents want a relationship with your son. I’m a bit confused about the visitation rights comment. It’s one day a month. If I am lucky enough to have grandchildren one day, I will be asking for sleepovers at least once a month.
Let her keep the kids and you have some grown up time. One night a month have dinner there. Least she trys and likes you!!!
The world would be a better place if more children had family dinner with three generations. You are blessed to have family that want to spend their weekends cooking for you and sharing their time and home with you. They are blessing your child with memories that many people would love to have. There must be a way to compromise about every weekend even if it is once or twice a month but be grateful for the love they are trying to share.
I see my parents daily. My in-laws could give two shits less about my kids. Once a month sleepover isn’t so bad. I don’t see the problem.
I dont think it’s too much for your son to sleep there 1x a month. Maybe try to tell them every other weekend for dinner or something. They won’t be around forever and you have to realize their son was a huge part of their life for many years! You never know in a blink of an eye they can be gone and you’ll never get that time back! I never understood how people can go long periods without seeing their family. If it’s a healthy relationship.
If my in-laws were nice to me, I would be there everyday let alone every week.
Back in the day, we would go there every week and I would walk out overwhelmed from their insults towards me. After years of constantly trying to get along on and off, and no change in their behaviour towards me, have stopped going altogether.
You don’t have to go every week, but at least try every fortnight.
Stop being so difficult!
hmm sounds like you don’t like your inlaws that much, maybe they invite you over for a meal each weekend as they know its tough both parents working etc once a month sleep over isn’t that big of a deal surely ?
I get being frustrated and wanting time alone but it could be a lot worse I have had to argue with family that couldn’t care less about seeing the kids so I would love if if they were asking to see us . Maybe a compromise on how often?
Just say: thank you for the invite but, we are spending this weekend together.
Love Your Family because you are not going to have them for ever !