My in-laws won’t give me and my spouse space. They have a younger child basically living with us for months now and refuse to get said child even when we continually ask. Instead, it gets thrown in our face what they do/done for us. Any advice on how to get them to see this is totally different and unfair or how to approach the situation. We are getting fed up, but we do love them. I just wish they’d respect us a bit more.
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Advise them to come and get the children or you will report them to child services for child abandonment. It is not your responsibility to be taking care of their children. They didn’t do anything for you that any other parent hasn’t done for their children. Don’t sit back and take it. Those children deserve a stable home and those people don’t soundvstable.
Uhh, if it’s their child they need to step up and take care of their child and not make other people do it for them especially family members if they’re more than capable of doing it.
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Do you live with them and if so…get your own place
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Pack up the kid and take him home… No questions or words need to be exchanged.
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Do you live with them? If so then when you need some space bring that child right to wherever they are and leave to do your own thing. And if you don’t live with them drop the kid at their house when you go for a visit. Just leave. If you didn’t agree to be responsible for the child then it’s up to them
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It’s not your child, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Their child, their responsibility, they chose to have said child, not you guys’s. You don’t owe anyone anything. No one asks to be born. Just simply say, “thank you for helping but we are moving on with our lives now”. Send the child back to them, if they drop the child off without your permission then call the cops.
Do u live there if so …get ur our place…
Save up & move far far away.
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Take them for support they won’t want to pay it and come get child
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DUHH… get your own place. You cant tell them who they can and can’t have in their own house. The AUDACITY of some people. Keep complaining you will have no choice but to move eventually. Time is ticking
I need clarification here. Im not sure what you’re trying to say.
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I’d drop the said kid off and tell them how it’s going to be they will cont to treat you all the way you allow them too
Call cps and tell them the kid was abandoned
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Whether you live with them or not, it’s not right to dump your children onto other people. I’d put my foot down and never again ask or accept their help because obviously it’s just a tactic to throw in your face later when you don’t do what they want.
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I had a friend way back when who constantly left their kid with me most days of the week for months. I eventually had to explain to them that I was concerned that they did not want their child anymore. I told them that although I loved having her over, that it was not my responsibility to care for her. I then explained that if they were not going to be responsible for her I was going to have to make some phone calls to get her the help she needs. Ultimately I ended up calling child services. I came to find out that there was something else more severe going on in that house, so the girl was taken to a foster home.
Im confused
Did they leave their child at ur house and refused to come get them? If so pack the kids stuff and go drop them back off at home Let them know there will be no more u raising their kid if they are more the capable of doing it themselves
If the refuse to listen call cps just make sure u have proof tht the kid has been living with u for months and they refused to have them back home
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All I can think of is this poor child 
yes you guys looked after this child but stop and think how this kid feels, poor kid probably feels like no one wants them! If you are able to provide care for this child I would look in to making it being permanent and go through the proper channels ie social workers, benefits if your entitled, maintenance etc. If you can’t then I’d get in touch with child services but tell the kid whats going on so they don’t feel totally abandoned.
I would drop the kid bk off to his parents!!! …and not answer the door or phone for them.
Take their kid back to them.
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Document everything, you’ll need it in future
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you aren’t going to get any respect until and unless you demand it–obviously your in-laws have gotten away with their actions so far–why should they respond to any more pleas? Is your spouse enabling them instead of supporting you? I would bet she/he is!
Everyone asking if she lives with them. This post implies she doesn’t. Pack up that child and bring him to his mother. Sharing blood or even last names doesn’t entitle either of u to care for the others child/children. That’s her kid. Drop him off.
Move, make the space
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Sounds like they live with the parents and the parents are just leaving the child at the house with them.
So you are basically raising your brother/sister in-law is what you are stating since if it is your in laws kid it is your spouses sibling. Your spouse needs to put their foot down and tell them they need to raise their own child and basically stop taking advantage of you so you can maybe have your own family.
My heart goes out to the kid 
imagine how said child must feel.
If you don’t live with them then pack up all the kids stuff. Put it and the sibling I the car and drop stuff and sibling off at parents. The first time they guilted you into doing something you gave them the power. No different than a child. They fussed, you did what they wanted…they won. IF YOU LIVE WITH THEM…TIME TO MOVE! Most of all…YOUR MAN NEEDS TO GROW A SET!
Are they paying all your bills?
I think you need to utilise the time living with your in-laws and get an education. Your grammar is so bad, that I would assume that most people reading this can’t understand your problem.
It’s so hard to answer these types of questions because we truly do not have all the background information
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Drop the kid back off at their house and say it isn’t urs n ur not raising them. Then don’t answer phone or door if they come over. Put ur foot down n don’t do as they say, even if they’ve helped u out etc
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Wait what?? This is probably one of the most confusing posts I’ve read yet. Who’s child is it yours? Or there’s? Do y’all live together?? A little clarification and background is helpful when seeking advice as well as who the child is. If it’s there child than you need to sit down and tell them you guys don’t mind helping here and there but your not going to be taking care of this child 24/7 anymore and you will only be doing it on certain days and times. If it’s your child than y’all need to start taking some responsibility and not be expecting others to watch your child.
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If they helped you and then throw it in your faces. They were never helping for the right reasons. Family helps Family but I wouldn’t raise their child if they’re perfectly capable. You deserve time with your husband without the fear of their retaliation.
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Tell them they have 72hours to pick up said child or child will be handed over to children’s services because that’s neglect and abandonment
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Am I the only one who feels bad for the poor kid who’s stuck between two homes, both of which don’t want to deal with the responsibility?! I get that it’s the in laws responsibility but that kid has to feel like crap…maybe you should think about it from the child’s perspective.
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Hard when you dont know all the facts. Who is the younger child and how old…a sibling of your husband ? Seems strange to ask you to care for their child 
. Is this child something to do with your husband ? Personally wouldnt be looking after his younger sibling full time but if the child is his then thats a different story and you should have been told.
If you stay in their home…sorry but you need to move out somehow if you want peace and space. If you have youre own home…be firm . Arrange visits and nights where you might care for the child to give them a break but make it plain where you stand. Be nice…but be firm
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How old is this child? Why are you raising someone else’s child? Your in laws need to come get this child and take care of their business.if you wanted a chid you would have one of your own not your husbands sibling. This is a very odd post with little info
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Move. Move very far… like hours away… problem solved.
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Call department of human services and report them for child abandonment or take them to court for child support
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Would help if the question made literally any sense.
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a bit confusing, if the child isn’t yours or your husband & you don’t live with your inlaws claim for child support & watch how fast they come for the child when money is involved
Raise kid to hate them lol
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Cps for child neglect. Either be there permanently for their child or someone else will and why isn’t ur partner doing something about it? It’s all confusing
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If this child belongs to your in laws, then is it your spouses sibling? Kind of weird way to refer to your spouses brother/sister. Something does not pass the smell test here
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Don’t ask them fa nutin. You won’t have them problems. When ppl do fa you they think they can run your life.
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Sounds like it’s your kid now
First this story is confusing and I would need more context to understand. Second well being me and it was my little brother or sister in law I’d keep the kid with me permanently. It seems to me your hubby’s parents have lost their focus and the focus should always on your kids. Sadly they are not parenting like they should to either of their children, your husband and so called child, so take it on. Be the parent/guardians the child needs. We all want space but if we don’t sacrifice for children in this world we are lost. Third what message are you sending your sibling if you don’t step up and step in as the parent your sibling needs. Will it be hard? Yes. Will it be costly Will? Yes but things will work. Will you have to fight for the child undoughtable yes but the child will see that you will do anything to help them feel loved, cared for, wanted and not a burden… Will it be worth it? YES you will have not only saved a child you will have saved yourself. Giving is golden, grace is blessed, kindness is adorable. Bless the broken child that feels lost and alone.
drop their kid off at their house
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Don’t know enough details, but you can’t have it both ways. If they use things they have done for you as a manipulative tool then it may be time to stop accepting any favors from them. Grow up, set boundaries, and make sure you and your husband are on the same team. Nobody can just leave somebody at your house without your permission. Lock your doors and be “busy” with your life or if you want, make a compromise that you can “babysit” one weekend a month. Time for you and hubby to make some dates, go away on vacation or whatever you need to do to establish a new routine and remove old habits and expectations. They (in-laws) may need to seek assistance from a social service agency if they need help or a type of respite in caring for somebody.
Just take said minor home 
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I don’t understand, are you raising & have custody of ur husband’s younger sibling?
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wreck your gaf and report them for burglary, flee the country with their passports and problem sorted 
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Sounds like to me that they don’t want to raise said child anymore and basically dropped said child off at your house and ran. If I were you I’d get child services involved. If they no longer want the child then I’d suggest seeing about adopting the child and having them sign all rights away. Once you get the courts involved in this either they’ll do the right thing and start being parents again or show their true colors of being deadbeats and sign their rights away. Either way need to get a third party involved in this asap. Also while all this is going on I’d cut all communication unless through a lawyer.
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I literally had to cut my boyfriends mom off. She is extremely toxic to the point just hearing her name and or seeing she was calling him gave me panic attacks. I don’t go over, I’ve asked my SO to not ask her to come, I’ve blocked her number and I am finally at peace. I’ve only seen her about three time since June. He does go over and call her on daily basis but when I’m not around. I thank him for that. Block her from your life all around.
This post doesn’t make sense…
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Drop said child off at their house. Tell them It’s their child to raise not yours!
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Yes they may have helped y’all but if they are sending their child over to you to watch and they don’t behave…i would say politely." Thank you for everything you have helped us with but we can no longer care for a child that you won’t discipline…they get mad they will get over it …dont let them hold that over your heads
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Love or not tell these the rules of your house respect them take care of their own child or get out.
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Grab the kid and her stuff take to the inlaws tell them we love u guys but this is not our job and walk away
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First of all stick up for yourselfs and take there child to them and if they refuse to take care of this child u have a choice turn them in or get custody and they can pay child support
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You want them to respect you more…you and your husband first need to respect yourselves. You two need to get on the same page and deliver a united front about what you want and need and how you want to live your life. Setting appropriate boundaries is not being rude, inconsiderate or ungrateful, it is the most basic form of self respect. It sounds like you may have been nice enough to help at some point and are now in over your head. It is time to handle this with respect and maturity. Taking care of this person can longer just be assumed and/or expected, but it up to you and hubby to act, otherwise months will turn into years and it will only get harder to change.
With the tax breaks they r getting for the child I would consider any debt paid and time for them to care for their child in their home
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Don’t ask them for nothing! If they don’t want the kid then raise it yourselfs, crack on without them. Give that kid a loving home and feel wanted. They obviously don’t.
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This post makes no sense. If the child belongs to the in laws then wouldnt that make the child the younger brother or sister of her husband?? Plus she never explains what exactly the in laws do for them that makes them expect favors in return. That would explain a lot. Not really enough info here.
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Sounds like you are living in their house!
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Are you grown adults, paying your own bills? If so, it’s not up to anyone else to do anything. The problem isn’t that in laws aren’t giving you space, it’s that you guys aren’t setting appropriate boundaries to meet your own needs. You make a point to say you love them? Love is not about feeling trapped or guilty. Love is about open honest communication where everyone respects one another and seeks solutions for the good of all. Anything else is disfunctional and/or toxic and if not addressed now, you will be setting yourself up for a lifetime of it.
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kick out the kid. They will stomp and cry, but u will have your life back. u don’t have to listen to their rebuttal either. hopefully they will come around eventually
Are you living with them at their home? If so. … time to move on out… you’ll find some else if you really want to. .
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I would pack up and drop off the child at its home. End of story.
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If its your home where you n your husband pay the bills. Id drop the child back off at in laws home n go about your business. I would thank them for what they have done for you n move on. Let them throw it up in your face what they have done for you. So what!! If they refuse to get the child, I’d be calling cps to come n get the child. I hate it for the child but its not yours nor your husband’s place to be raising the in laws child.
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You may feel bad can you imagine how the child feels he must know nobody wants him his parents need to be parents problem solved
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Don’t accept help from the inlaws. Take the kid home. Tell them you made plans to go out with friends for drinks. Stay busy so when they ask to leave the kid with you, you have plans.
How old is the child? Is there any particular reason why they don’t want them? This sounds very odd xx
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Tell them streight its not ur kid and tgey should be respecting that you need your space if they dont like it they will fall out with you and tgey have to take the kid and u will have u spaace haha
You cant hand all of your power over to someone then complain about what they do with it.
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How old is the child
Poor child and piss poor advice I would hate to think u all had kids !!! Kick the kid out are u actually kidding me !!
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I feel sorry for the kid no one wants
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Tell them look we appreciate the gelp u gave us we help u too but its to go n dint let the door hit u where the good lord split u
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Tell them that if you’re going to raise THEIR child, you’re going to go to probate court (make sure you have hired your lawyer first) and ask the court to appoint a guardian ad litem for the child during the court proceedings & petition the court to terminate all their rights to the child and either they pay child support or you will adopt the poor kid. To throw the kid away when it’s family is, imho, an unconscionable thing to do. One way or another, this would be the best option for all concerned, especially for the child. At least the child would know it’s not his/her fault that his birth parents don’t want him/her. And the child would also know the drama wasn’t his fault either and someone does want him/her who’s family & the drama is due to his parents, not because you don’t want/love him. And if you choose only part of this & put him/her up for adoption instead, at least you two took the first step to help him have a set of good parents, even if they’re not blood.
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What you allow will continue!!!
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Tell them you want privacy and would gladly set a time for one day a week dinners or visits.
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Tf. Put your foot down! Call cps and report them not coming get their CHILD first of all!!
Throwing things in your face is a form of abuse/manipulation/gaslighting. Cut that bs out ASAP
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Stand up for yourselves no matter the outcome.
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Uh take their child back home. It’s not that hard.
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Don’t ask. Take the kid home and don’t answer your phone or door when they try contacting you.
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Literally drop the kid at their house
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Wait. Did I read that correctly? THEIR child is living with you?! They would either come get THEIR child or I would drop the kid off myself.
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Take their child home (if it’s safe for the child to be there) then set a schedule when he/she can stay with you. If it’s not a good/safe environment call cps
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Call CPS. Get kinship custody. Make them answer for their actions (abandoning/neglecting their child). What could they possibly be doing for you to hang over your head? I mean are they paying your mortgage etc?
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Literally just say STOP and NO over and over again until they listen… seriously… do not listen to tye backtalk… do not tolerate ANY of it. You do not have to be mean or rude, just stern and firm… period!
How old is this child?
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It will be because I am just learning the language that I do not understand well.
The in-laws have a small child that they leave at the daughter-in-law’s house or they come to pick up the grandson or it is that they all live where the in-laws, I don’t understand anything.
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I’d call cps as they’ve abandoned their child. They are making clear excuses to not raise their kid and forcing it upon you.
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Take their child back to them and let them get busy parenting while y’all live your own lives. 
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