My infant will only sleep when he is beign held: Advice?

There are some nasty attitudes on here. Just because you dont agree with the advice from a seasoned mom doesnt mean ya gotta be a bitch. Omg. Grow up. Keep scrolling.

Get a really comfortable carrier so you can still go about your day.

They have bears that make sounds like in the womb. Maybe that would help too. Just a thought.

Parenting is tough. There are lots of books and your pediatrician can help answer questions. But I think alot of it is just instinctual. Do what you feel is right. Personally, I found swaddling helped. I also had a little bouncing seat that I could gently move with my foot while I folded laundry or just sat down to relax.

Try sleep with a baby blanket for a night and put it in the crib with baby. Your scent on the blanket should comfort baby.

Read the no cry sleep solution

Sounds like a normal healthy baby to me.


Its exhausting but enjoy it while it lasts. I wish i still had a bitty baby like that, now my 3 year old tries to escape my hugs!

Try wrapping him and put some music on. Rock him in the pram instead of the arms. He will scream but don’t cave in.

I used an infant carrier with both of mine so that I could still get a few things accomplished. It was great. Totally normal but I’m sorry that you’re so exhausted. I feel you.

Do they still sell wedges for babies?
When my children were little, 20yrs ago, they’d have a wedge that holds their belly and back, pseudo-holding

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Wish I could go back and hold my daughter 24 hours a day…unfortunately she died at 6years old…just hold him. You don’t know if it may be your only chance. :frowning:


Have him checked for ear infections. The pressure in his ears might be why he’s crying when you lay him down. That’s what was happening to my son when he was younger.

My eldest daughter was it same and she is now 6 and she still does it when she not at school

Have you tried swaddling the baby? Sometimes swaddling works wonders

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That’s normal. With my first I was very adamant about letting her cry it out so she was never an issue. My 2nd I spoiled and since I was able to breastfeed him, he sleeps with me alot the first month, or I’d fall asleep in his crib with him. Once my husband encouraged me to just let him cry it out for a couple minutes he now just fusses for 2 min and passes out in crib

Put a shirt you’ve worn for at least a few hours under the crib sheet. My twins could smell my scent fading when I would back away from the crib after putting them to bed and they would immediately start crying. Bundling tightly is also a great way to comfort them.

It’s normal, I had my son in a wrap most days sleeping against my chest so I could still get stuff done. He’s still fresh out the womb but If you really feel somethings wrong through get him checked

This happened with me and my little one :slightly_smiling_face: I loved it personally but it was a nightmare as soon as I went back to work. Fast forward 9 years and he still try’s to stay with us every night :joy::joy: xx

Look up fourth trimester! Is real and very normal! Being born and growing and having all these changes is so hard and he feels so happy and safe with you guys :black_heart:


Baby carrier strapped to you. It’s totally normal at this age for them to want to be held to sleep.


Create a routine. Bathe him before bed it helps.

Brandi Kong see completely normal, just depends on baby :two_hearts:

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Get a baby wrap, that way he can sleep and you can get stuff done.

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Swaddle the baby, as a matter of fact the nurse recommended that we swaddle my daughter with 2 blankets. We had the room at a cool temperature recommended by the pediatrician and just a light onsie on her and she slept longer with 2 light blankets to swaddle her :two_hearts: hang in there! you figure out their likes :woozy_face:

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Wrap him in a receiving blanket and put his hospital hate on

Could be colic and or acid reflux. My 1st boy was like that! And he was colic and had reflux.

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Invest in baby seat or swing. Let baby cry a bit before picking him up. They learn to self sooth


I have 5 kids and have put them to sleep on me, never have I laid them in cot to sleep and yes as they grow older it becomes a problem but my youngest is 3 will easily go upstairs fall straight asleep but guess what… I still rock him lol

Throughout history babys have been strapped to Mothers as they worked throughout the day. The whole family slept close together, as central heat did not exist until the early 1900’s and multiple generations lived together and shared the raising of children ( also until the early 1900’s)
Educated idiots write books,stating that children should sleep alone and learn to self comfort (less than 60years ago) . There is nothing wrong with your baby. He just wants to be warm and not alone.


Swaddle him and stay close and reassure him until he falls asleep peacefully then get things done but make sure he can hear you the whole time my son was the same way and within a week he was happy sleeping without being held!

This is how my youngest was. Literally had to be held all day and couldn’t sleep at night if he wasn’t physically touching me. He’d cry anytime he wasn’t being held. Doctor never found anything wrong with him and just said some babies are more needy than others. I recommend getting some kind of baby wearing wrap so you can at least get a few things done. It can be miserable and anxiety inducing for sure. Good luck

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Try the 4moms swing it’s on the pricey side but my baby was like this too and I tried plenty swings and bassinets and the 4moms did it’s thing eventually I would transition her to her bed when she’d be knocked out

I slept with my baby on me for almost 5 weeks . She is now almost 4 months and sleeps in her co sleeper beside me

Wouldn’t you just want to be held??


A few ideas I used for a clingy baby:
Sleep with a sleep sack/swaddle to get your scent, then use it on baby.
Use a heating pad (on low) to warm baby’s bed, remove it when you lay baby down.
Get a comfortable baby sling to wear while doing tasks, it’s a pain but it helps free up your hands.
Baby is 6 weeks, still very young and dependent on you for warmth and comfort. Avoid letting baby cry it out, it’s not healthy. Children cry when they need you, it’s the only way they can communicate. This stage won’t last forever.

Take him to pediatrician and go from there. Could be gas, reflux.
My daughter’s was so bad her pediatrician approved her sleeping inclined. She is 10 now though so times have changed a tad.

My youngest is like that she’s going to be 8 weeks tomorrow I got a swing for her because she really likes movement so when ever she’s fussy like that I give her her pacifier and put her in her swing and put the blanket around her so she stays warm but also touching her face a bit and I also leave her in a sleeper all day unless we’re going somewhere you have to think if you live somewhere where it’s warm and you have your ac on they’re probably cold so thinking of how warm it is in your womb so it may feel nice to you but it’s probably really cold to them so put an extra layer on them also put some lullaby’s on softly or some nature sounds my daughter loves the sound of waves on her swing! Just a couple of ideas to try. My daughter is also breastfed so she is held at all times by me when eating she likes to be snuggled and warm so this is the next best thing to mom

Baby wear and swaddle when you can’t. My son was like this and it’s very normal and natural for a baby to want to be held constantly. Only very recently in history have we began to expect babies to sleep on their own, before then babies were carried everywhere with their mothers and rarely put down, just like other primate mothers care for their babies. Infants are completely helpless and the only place they feel safe enough to relax is in Mom’s arms. Swaddles helped my son a lot when he was little, and sometimes just a firm hand on his chest to let him know I was there was enough to help him fall asleep in the bassinet.


Most babies go through this. It’s actually a survival thing that is engraved into them. If they can keep mom and dad close they have a better chance at survival. It is totally normal.

  1. learn to swaddle the baby
  2. don’t listen to those that tell you to let him cry it out. He is too young and it actually causes issues. There are plenty of other sleep training techniques out there that are super useful when he is old enough.
  3. remember that most babies at this age are awake and wanting to feed every 1.5 hours to 3 hours.
  4. take turns with hubby. Say you do from 7 pm to 1 am and he does 1 am to 7 am during the night so you both get a few hours of shut eye at least.
    Remember that you are doing a good job and that he loves you. You’ve got this!

Swaddle him to make him feel like you are still holding him it will learn him to sleep on his own


Check that he doesn’t have an ear infection. That and try using a swing - that was a godsend for me!

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Omg this was us. We had to wait till she was in a deep sleep to get her into bed. Then she would wake in the night and sleep next to us. But 3 days after her 2nd birthday she decided she would sleep in a big bed in her own room and has done since. Hold them until they are ready. We’ve not looked back. It’s been exhausting and I’ve had nights of feet in my back and fingers in my neck. But This was what she needed so we gave her snuggles. I will cherish that time forever.


Was ours for the first month or two. Dad and I took shifts. We ended up getting a baby nest which resolved the problem.

What about wrapping baby up in a blanket have u tried this , it would maybe make him feel more secure when in his bed x


At night, I would sit in recliner with the baby sleeping on my chest… We would sleep there for hours.


Do not let babies cry it out. Think about the physiological trauma you may cause.


My daughter was this way and she also spit up a lot in her sleep to the point I was terrified she was going to choke to death and I didn’t have a good nap for WEEKS. I was delirious I tell you :joy: Anyway I took a comforter and folded it into a thick flat square, put it on the floor in the living room, and put her on top of it with her U shaped nursing pillow and some more folded baby blankets underneath to prop her up at an angle. And then I slept next to her on the floor or couch. It made it so that she wasn’t sleeping flat (which I believed is what kept waking her) and I also didn’t have to worry about her choking. Also we had a battle with grandparents about using a pacifier because she would suck on it til she fell asleep and the moment she was relaxed enough for it to fall out she wailed over and over. It never worked, so I had to take her off of it very early on. Don’t know if that last bit is helpful at all lol but it’s the only way I made it through :sweat_smile:

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I swaddle and lay beside of them. It takes a little while for them to get used to it, but they do.

Welcome to motherhood :crazy_face: this is completely normal. Google the fourth trimester. Try baby wearing during the day. Do you breastfeed? I nurse my little to sleep in my bed and then sneak out of the room and he’ll nap for 1-3 hours. We also bedshare (bedshared with my first child as well) because it’s the only way anyone gets any sleep at night.


Do you have a swing?

Try swaddling! I didn’t until I had my 3rd baby and it is so amazing! They have been with you for 9 months, it’s a tough adjustment for them. But swaddling May held and maybe even having the swaddle smell like you! Also I wore my daughter in a wrap most of the day :sweat_smile:

Vibrating chair or swing

Might have reflux that wakes him when he’s laying down flat

Swaddle well and prepare for crying. They are training you to hold them… i had 3 and trust me, if I could have held them all the time, that was their preference. If you have nothing else to do, like cook, clean, laundry, bathe, etc. Then by all means do it… it really isn’t realistic. You shouldn’t feel guilty if they cry a little and learn to soothe themselves a little. It is much easier now than later i promise. It is true that if you take care of yourself, you do much better taking care of everyone else. I’m 51 and my kids are 30, 20 and 19. These are things I wish I had known.

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Get a sling and enjoy all the cuddles.

Google sleep training . That’s what my daughter did and they are both great sleepers now.

I would try swaddling. It makes the baby feel comfortable also they make weighted baby blankets which also makes the baby feel comfortable the baby wants to feel that closeness you kind of need to recreate what it was like for them in your womb

My daughter was like this. I tryed swaddling ( i m russian we do it alot) and was sleeping good. Just make sure done safely, now they have swaddling sold safe.

Idk, mine was in the NICU for just over a month and when we finally got her home we’d just lay her down after feeding and she’d sleep on her own.

Definitely could be acid reflux, my son was the same way . Ask your pediatrician what she thinks , but it’s what it sounds like. Laying flat is the worst when they have reflux :pensive:


Swaddle. Babies love it

I had one like that…it’s exhausting but it does pass eventually. You’re doing the best job in the world…nurse him, cuddle him and don’t let him cry it out.

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YES this was Me!
My baby had Colic, til she was roughly 5 months… and would not be put down she would fall asleep on us, mainly me as my husband works fulltime, and the minute i put her down the eyes would ping back open & she’d start crying again… i know its not good to pick them up all the time & crying made her wind worse so i had no option… tried the baby wearing in a sling just so i was able to to housework / walk about hands free she slept in there once & hated it ebery other time… she became super clingy to me to the point i couldnt walk out a room without her screaming for me, had to do the whole “Sneaking out” while she was distracted with Cartoons / Toys… so very little housework got done :disappointed_relieved: things were getting on top of me & it would cause arguments between hubby & i because he didnt understand what it was like, but he is off at weekends so he seen for himself how i couldnt do anything without her glued to my side, he is fantastic helping with the house or taking her to let me get stuff done, and thankfully things are alot better, shes now 9 months & i can now put her in her cot & walk away leave her with the monitor on & i only go in to lift her if she cries… she’ll lie & “Gurn” for a bit but she happily falls asleep herself now (thank god!) I certainly dont miss the nights she had to be resettled about a dozen times & id end up taking her in our bed JUST so i could get my sleep! Again i know thats frowned upon too bit i was exausted & to be able to cope all day… i did what i had to do, always made sure she was safe, no duvet on her etc and now shes much better, so dont give up hope keep doing what ur gut tells u to, whats best for you & baby’s rest cos u need it! Dont let anyone else tell u what to do or say “You shouldnt be doing that”… cos they arent in your position therefore have no right to judge! My heart goes out to u cos i know how stressing it can be xoxoxo

Honestly that’s great my son slept for an hour or 2 at time for the first 2 months but didn’t sleep for more than 4 hours consecutively until almost one years old I would’ve killed for 5.5 hours at that time … in my opinion it’s normal to be exhausted and constantly holding baby rocking to sleep then the excitement when he’s awake and watch him start waking up more and more … maybe sleep in shifts, I didn’t have much help and it sound like the 2 of u are teaming up to do the best u can that’s all u can do enjoy and p.s. my son is 3 now I’m still tired but not like the first year lol

When mine were little we did this: Get a small piece of soft material (flannel size) and either put breast milk on or wear in your bra to get some mummy smells on it.
We also soaked their comforter toy in breast milk and with a bit of Dad’s deodorant. It helped us soothe settle issues we had.
Also, with reflux mentions above, feed and hold bub in arms with bub on their left side.
(Have a look at a stomach pic, any liquid in the stomach sits away from the oesophageal/stomach valve).
Patience and love. X


Sounds like he could be gassy. So when you hold baby they’re usually elevated on your chest or elevated on your arm next to your body heat which helps the pain with gas. When you lay him on his back the pain is unbearable (I don’t know if you grown women have ever had gas but that shit hurts me!)
If you have a rocking chair lay him on your chest and rock which helps gas make sure his knees are tucked under him which also helps release gas and rubbing his tail bone. After you get some roots out of him then try and lay him down.
Also look into getting gas drops.

Swaddle and try burping baby extra. I had to burp my son 4 times.

I had a baby girl, that required me to hold her all the time. I felt that she needed me to comfort her. That lasted till she about 4-5 months and it stopped. She’s a well adjusted adult.

My daughter was like this too. I wouldn’t be able to move or she would wake up. She eventually grew out of it after maybe 3-4 months. She will be 5 in 1 week and sleeps wherever I sleep and when I get up to use the bathroom at night or wake up before her and just move away from her she knows and will wake up and come look for me.

I did this with my second child, also a boy. He could not sleep without me holding him. He was upset if he wasn’t in my arms. It wasn’t something I’d done that made him that way - he was like that from birth.

I’d suggest investing in a carrier so you can hold him and have your hands free - incredibly useful for any baby. As suggested above, a swing can help, too. I believe maternal affection (and research supports) is one of the most important aspects to child development and you can’t love or hold them enough. Soon, he won’t want to be held and you’ll likely miss it


Some babies go through that. You just have to help them through it and hopefully the phase passes soon. Otherwise, just make sure he’s clean, full tummy, clothes aren’t too tight and he’s not hot. Something our pediatrician always told us was that babies get hot and uncomfortable in too many clothes. Good luck, mama. Remember to rest when he does so you can take care of both of you.


Try to remember that he has only known you for 9 months. He then got pulled out and put in this huge cold world. You are his safe space. It is ok to hold them while they sleep. You can also baby wear. If you choose to put them down that is also the right thing… you got this momma.

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My son was like that. We had to lay him on his belly and bounce him in his bed. ( we tell him now we bounced him like a basketball) every time we lady him on his back he cried but he was happy on his belly

Break it now trust if you don’t the child will never sleep alone did that with my oldest and she slept with me until she was 6 yrs old


My third daughter did this. She outgrew it eventually. Just practice putting him down in different positions and talk to him. A baby pod can help too so he can see you while you’re no holding him.

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Enjoy it. He will grow out of that need. Been there 5 times❤


Maybe laying him down when he is drowsy, almost asleep? I know easier said than done, just a thought!

he is a baby …hold him as long as you can


Thank God my twins were independent from day one. My suggestion find activities a baby his age can do & tire him out. Good luck🍀

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Well I ALWAYS held mine by choice but as they got older they did fine. My 8 boys are 30 down to 7. They do got grow it

Swing or rocking bassinet should help. All 6 of mine only slept in my arms the first 6-12 weeks or in a swing or Graco gliding bassinet. Enjoy the cuddles. They do not last long enough I promise you…

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Do you swaddle him? Newborns like to be very cozy. Also try sleep music or white noise

Make sure he’s bathed, fed, and dry before going to sleep. Might have to put up with a little fussing for a few days, but he will get through it. If you feel you have to, stand next to where he’s to sleep, and pat him…but don’t pick him up…lol…

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You must teach that little man routine, my dear, he is choosing to fall asleep in your arms, his got use2 the comfortability and warmth of your arms and body, but if you don’t start now to curb him , then my dear you gona spoil him to the point, where you are gona do just what he wants,:see_no_evil:and being a first time parents you just want to do what’s comfortable for Babby, but you don’t see, you giving in to quickly, :see_no_evil:, but that’s natural, lol, I’ve got 3, the first I was just like you, after the 2nd,we got wiser, when the 3rd arrived, we knew just how to handle him​:relaxed:


Try putting the baby down next to a shirt you have worn or try putting a lullaby on a soothing song it might help or try a warm soothing bath


Try a vibrating seat or swing

Try full body PJs the fuzzy long sleeve footie ones my daughter was the same way then someone put her in one and it was like a switch just went off

Are you swaddling him. Or using a swaddle wrap?

I have a 3 month old daughter. We use this for her to sleep in and she loves it. Sleeps through the night. It snubs her like she is being held

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My advice from a mother of 4, is to enjoy this, enjoy him needing you, enjoy his sweet baby smell, enjoy his sweet cries, enjoy holding him and hugging him tight after he cries for you or his daddy, because you will miss this phase, one day you will wake up and he won’t cry to be held or cry to be picked up because he sees you, and the sad thing is you won’t even know it’s the last time he cries for you until he doesn’t anymore so enjoy this :heart:…one day all his cries for needing you will be replaced with crying for toys, crying to hang out with friends, right now you are His safe place, you are his comfort, you are his world right now, so enjoy this sweet momma :heart:


You carried that baby for 9 months, you are his world all he knows and people expect being in this terrifying world for 6 weeks he should be able to sleep on his own. :disappointed_relieved: Babies dont learn to sleep on their own, they give up. They stop crying to conserve energy and to not be eaten (if our ancestors babies were left alone and cried a predator would find them)


I usually don’t response to these questions but…
My son was a terrible sleeper. I rocked him until he was sound asleep and as soon as I laid him down, he woke up crying. As a new mother, I picked him up. He DID NOT learn how to settle down on his own until he was 3. That’s when we decided, ENOUGH! It took about a week of listening to him screaming but he finally learned.
Let your baby learn early to go to sleep on their own. Let him cry for 15 mins, go to him, pat his back for a minute then leave, next time wait 20 minutes, etc. It will be so hard and time will stand still but at the end of the day, everybody wins. Good Luck.


First, talk to your pediatrician to make sue it isn’t acid reflux or something else that could be wrong. My son had that problem when he was a newborn. We weren’t the type of parents that could stand to let him cry it out. What we did was that we put a futon mattress on his floor, and after he was asleep, we were able to put him gently on the mattress. After he got a bit older, one of us would lay down with him, slept there with him for about an hour, then got up. Then we started to get up before he was fully asleep, then after a period of time, we would just snuggle with him for awhile before we got up and he was able to go to sleep himself. Everyone is different. Find what works for you.


We let ours cry we raised six kids all of them are healthy members of the world coddling them brings on more dependence of you when their older I know you want to protect them but raising a child in a bubble is what we have now no one has had to strive to be better because people want all kids to get the sameting if they work for it or not in reality the only one that can change their life as adults is them sorry about going on


Try a chiropractor. Birth is traumatic and they need an adjustment to acclimate to the outside world and be at peace.


I think everyone who says hold him is a new parent. They learn what you teach. If he is clean and fed and has no medical issues ( he’s fine when you hold him) they learn your expectations. Bedtime they go in their bed, crying will subside after time. But he needs to learn how to be put down and you need the time to do other things. Mine loved a fluffy blanket on the floor, just looking at everything. They are here to learn, not teach you.


There is nothing wrong with holding your baby. I held both of mine CONSTANTLY, never let them cry themselves to sleep. U cooked holding a baby, and yes.sometimes sat on the toilet holding a baby! Both fell asleep in my arms… Eventually they grew out of it. People would tell me that I was spoiling them. I don’t regret what I did… They are both grown and WONDERFUL parents to my grandbabies… Time goes too fast, hold your babies while you can…


I had the same issue with my first child. I finally decided it had to stop. Fed and burped her. Made sure she was dry. Put her in her crib, and let her cry. It was hard, but I was exhausted. She was loved, and did not have issues with feeling abandoned or neglected. It is not child abuse.