Sounds like your afraid to be alone. Why would you settle for someone like this new guy?? Ask yourself that. He is Iscolating you, controlling you. You need to take care of you and your own. I’ve been a single mom of three for years now, because I was tired of attracting bad men. Self love takes a lot of work and time. But for your kids sake DO IT. Find yourself outside of men. Go out and do things with your kids. And one day the right guy will find you
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You have got out of a situation love straight into another situation he’s is so controling ure new one and you don’t sound happy with him are you sure you don’t still love your ex.why don’t you do try being on your own for awhile and see what happens and do what’s best for you and your children .good luck with what ever you decide but do it for you .don’t let people walk over you .that isn’t a good relationship where you can’t even talk to your ex he’s still your children’s father and your boyfriend should not tell you where or who you can talk too
Your current boyfriend sounds disgusting. I could never be with someone like that.
Yeah no the new guy is controlling, not just jealous. And put in more effort for their dad because they deserve it. Also your heart is clearly with their dad.
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I think that you need to be on your own for awhile and figure yourself out!! Dont be afraid of being alone. We are all alone at the end 
so leave that man and start living your own life!!
Get away from this new guy, if he is THIS controlling now, it will get worse. No I’ve should make you cut the kids father from their lives
You moved on to early, and your ex is probably upset that he worked hard for his family just for someone else to come and scoop in as well as his kids at that age not remembering who he is after a few months (seems abit weird ) … and now you are thinking about moving away from everyone with a man who is slowly isolating you.
If you are that conflicted, be single, you don’t need a man to get you back on your feet (yes it is hard, but it is doable!).
I would dump the current manipulator. I would not go back to the baby daddy. I feel you need some time to find love and strength for yourself. Your kids, even as young as they are, don’t need to see you hopping from one man to another.
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Sorry your new partner is aNo go if he cannot even respect your kids dad as that thier dad the. Nope c ya ! N his behavior screams controlling obsessive … he don’t deserve you or your children !
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Your current partner you need to leave and cut ties with. He is a controlling narcissistic person and that’s just from what I read. He wants you to move away so he can have full control over you. If he truly wanted what was best for you then he would change it. In that aspect, it will only get worst.
To be truthfully honest, cutting ties with all parties involved is the better outcome. You taking time for yourself as well as your children to find a way to support yourselves without depending on anyone else (man wise) will set your family up in the long run. I know. I’ve been in your shoes.
These are just my words. The real decision has to come from you. Please, take the advise on leaving though before you get into a spot where it’s extremely hard.
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Run! Run as fast as you can from the current boyfriend. Sounds like he has some issues. Stay single and worry about yourself and your children for now.
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I understand why you’re conflicted. Please don’t move by this man. You will not be happy. He is controlling you and unsupportive. Work on rebuilding your kids relationship with their father. Not yours. Theirs. Over time if you see a spark again ok but don’t jump into it. Give yourself time to find out who you are and give them time to find out who their father is
The one you are with is not paranoid it is a controlling personality and that won’t change. It will only get worse. Leave that one. As far as getting back with kids dad. That is up to you and only you will know if it is right over time.
Go with your instincts girl, from what you’ve said here and in my honest opinion it sounds to me that he’s a narcissist !!! Don’t move if you know what’s good and YOU DO. He’s taking you away from your security like you said he wants you to be vulnerable and have noone but him. He definitely doesn’t want baby daddy around and he’s some what achieved that. How ever I do believe you are thinking of him alot more because of your current situation with partner but to be honest be alone and do you and babies. Reconcile your friendships get your bonds back and be you, get children’s father back in their life on YOUR terms feel free again. You won’t regret. How ever what ever you do decide I wish you all the best.
I think the new guy is controlling and there are several massive red flags for domestic abuse. If he’s so paranoid because of previous relationships you have to stand a certain way while on your phone (I don’t believe he is, its just control) then he shouldn’t be in a relationship.
I think you need time on your own, find out who.you are, rebuild lost friendship s, rebuild your children’s relationship with their dad, gey some counselling for you and see where you are at in a year. You don’t need a man or be in a relationship to function.
Sounds like you still have feelings for their dad. Based on what you said about the new guy if you up and move the situation will get worse. He’s very insecure and getting you away from your circle will be perfect for him to gain complete control over you. Stay where you are but get rid of this guy. It’s trouble in a big way.
Neither girl. Go to therapy at least one year so your “picker” can get fixed. Right now you can’t trust yourself to choose a good person. Right now just choose YOU.
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Ouch. Your kids are 3 and 4?!? So you kicked their dad out when they were only 2 and 3. No wonder they don’t remember him and it was probably traumatic to put them through that. Thennn you brought another man in the house to play daddy? I don’t even know what to say honestly. Are you young. You sound really young. Why would you cut off your Bestfriend. My brother died last year and if I developed a bond for the next ten years with someone he was close to I’d be damned some dude comes in my house and my space and tells me who can be my friend. Sounds like you don’t even know how to do things on your own. And your new bf sounds psycho. Standing a certain way?!! Golly I hope your babies done hear and see all this toxic behavior between the two of you. You really need to focus on your kids. And you. Stop worrying about who is in your bed and who your kids are thinking is their dad (for this moment) and just be a damn mom. Please for the love of God it’s been a year and you’re all caught up in two different guys. What about your growing kids! The world is changing and we’re all living in shit and you’re worried about which boyfriend to keep around??? I’m sorry if this is harsh but this just doesn’t feel like an actual mom question. It’s a immature girl looking for attention question. Sorry not trying to hate on you that’s just what I see
Please get our of this relationship. He is controlling and it will only get worse. Give yourself some alone time…without a man…to get your your bearings and figure out what you want and need. Your current man has some serious issues that may become physical if you allow him to take you away from friends and family. Good luck.
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I feel so bad for their dad. He clearly had medical stuff going on and wasn’t even drinking or doing anything illegal to help with his pain then the person who he thought loved him just kicks him out and jumps into a new relationship with a controlling person that makes her cut ties with him. All he needed was time, help, and love but he didn’t get any. Instead he got kicked out and kids taken away. Just heartbreaking.
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I think this current partner is controlling. I Personally would not move far away with him. Then he will have you right where he wants you. I also think his controlling would get worse.
Get away from this new guy FOR SURE! Move back by your parents and stay single for a while, find yourself. It seems you left your children’s father for a reason. But your thinking about him because you’re unhappy in your current relationship and the relationship with your previous partner was probably better than this one but still had issues which is why you left in the first place. Move back by family that supports you, be single, find yourself, give your children the mother they need you to be, this guy that is controlling your life is also controlling your children’s lives, give yourself some time, I bet you will find you don’t want to be with either of them.
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Idk. Maybe leave the kids with your parents in a healthy environment and figure out your boyfriend troubles and desires. Cause all this drama and uncertainty is going to harm them eventually if it hasn’t already. I will send good vibes and prayers to your kids
I learned this the hard way. Not sure if it applies to you but. NO dad is better than a shitty dad. Just saying. Stop searching for men and be a mom
sounds like your current man is a Narcissist
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My advice is get away from the new guy he sounds like bad news
Lots of red flags with new guy. Sounds like he is trying to isolate you. That would be a hard no for me.
Sometimes it’s okay to not be in a relationship and focus on you and your children.
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Whatever you do, do not leave your family and friends, you will be the one who eventually needs them if you stay with the insecure bf. Its not going to change for him… hes always going to treat you like that and one day it will get old to you and sickening
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Get rid of the new man and maybe try being on your own with the kids for a while. Good luck.
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couldn’t’ read all of this, but you go from one guy who has issues to another one that is paranoid…WOW Are these stories really for real??? Jump from one relationship/bed to the next that quickly, I do wonder how all of these kids will be in about 20 yrs from now
Oh dear, so many humongous red flags just slapping ya in your face
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What are you thinking from one bad relationship to another ! You stop seeing your friends and sounds like he is very controlling . You need to stay near your family and tell this guy good bye . Think of your kids how does that look to them .
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I feel like your relationship with the kids dad would’ve been great if you stuck by him and supported him through his mental illness. It’s not like he was an alcoholic or drug addict. He was using something legal that he needed at the time. Breaks my heart for him that he was going through such hard times and he was kicked to the curb because of it. And now you’re with someone who is a controlling narcissist that doesn’t care if you’re happy. He only cares about his own happiness and having things his way like a big ass spoiled brat. It’s only gonna get worse if you stick with this guy. Sounds like you need to be single and figure your own stuff out.
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Dump the new guy as fast as you can. He’s a control freak. The fact that you gave up on a long term friendship for him tells me you’re losing yourself to him and his crazy ways.
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Run for your life from this new bf. Stay near your family and friends!!
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There is more than 2 men in the world…don’t live with anyone for a long, long time!
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Young one - you should take time to figure out what you need and/or want out of a relationship first. You left one mess and jumped into another. This one you are with - sounds like he’s been cut deep and himself wasn’t ready . You need to maybe be alone for a while. If possible maybe move back with or close to your parents. Often today kids don’t know or remember their elders. They won’t be around for long - unfortunately .
Look up narcissist. Getting you to move away from your family will cause you to be more isolated. That’s what a narcissist wants. He sounds controlling. I’d leave. And for your ex… thank goodness all he was doing was smoking weed for his pain rather than all those other addictive drugs he could have been doing. Good for him. It sounds like you need to be on your own with your kids for a while so that you can get yourself in a good frame of mind before you think about jumping into anything with your ex in my opinion. Good luck:)
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I think you need to focus on yourself and your kids for a while. You need to give yourself the love you are seeking instead of jumping around from one type of negligent to another type of controlling relationship. Seek some therapy,and grow independent-so that you aren’t leaning on another person to find fulfillment.
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Get away from new guy. Try being on your own. It’s great.
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You’re only a year after a major breakup, please don’t consider moving and isolating yourself from your support network. You still need to move through the grieving process of the kids dad up and leaving. Spend some time for yourself and your babies, I’m sure you all need it right now. That is a huge red flag for new guy to be wanting to move you away, not to mention all the other flags you have experienced so far with this new person.
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Please DO NOT relocate ! Your current partner sounds way to possessive! Like mentally abusive possessive! That is a horrible way to live!If you have only one year invested in this relationship count yourself as lucky and end it now. Manipulation, possession, misogynistic behaviors only get worse! There are good men out there that will love YOU and your kids!
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- Break up with the current lunatic. 2. Learn how to be alone. 3. Focus on improving yourself so you have something to offer in a relationship instead of looking for someone to take care of you.
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Do not move. You will isolated and it sounds like that is exactly what he wants. Bring some with kids may seem daunting but it’s far easier than being in a relationship that doesn’t work
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Sounds like your current partner is a control freak and insecure. Dump him. Stay on your own for awhile. Reconnect your children with their dad. They have a right to know him even if you are not together. Find yourself before getting involved with anyone at all.
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This is not complicated. You r making it that way. Take a breath. Do not get in a new relationship. Tell the new guy to take a hike. You need to focus on a new start and the kids. And yes, they need their real dad
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Dam this person just wrote a book lol
Yikes! Neither is the man for you. There are good men out there that don’t have such severe mental illness or trauma. You should be able to use your phone without him constantly looking over your shoulder. There’s curiosity and then there’s paranoid and crazy! Please dont move. I also dont agree with your parents saying they will stop communicating with you. Thats manipulation as well.
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Wow… the kids losing their father at 3 and 4 because the new guy said so?
That is a MAJOR change for them. You said you did this for them yet go on and on about your phone and the way the new guy treats you.
A mother takes in the fact their father shouldn’t be cut out of the picture due to YOUR unhappiness.
Please get away from the guy before he turns that nasty attitude towards your kids. Once he’s thru trying to destroy you he’ll focus elsewhere. Narcissists focus only is to what/who you love.
As for the dad it sounds like he did change and make some life changing decisions while you were off NOT waiting for him. I hope you reestablish contact with him just so he can see his children.
A guy who changes his ways is hard to find.
Really they’re both better off not in your life if you discard and stay attentive to new guys that fast. By my own experience doesn’t seem like you have any respect at all for yourself. Please take alone time to focus on that and those little children. Not giving them enough time to adjust to anything
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You’re in a toxic relationship with your boyfriend. He’s controlling you and stopping you from having healthy friendships and forcing you to end any hope of coparenting with your ex. He shouldn’t be involving himself with how you handle your relationship with your parents. You don’t need a parent ruling your life, you need a partner.
You should end things as soon as possible. Then just focus on your kids and yourself. Make efforts to have your ex more involved with his kids and see how that goes if he can handle that and is consistent. You’ll need to give that time to see where you’re at before you can assess the relationship between you and him.
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So you left your husband because he smoked weed and got with a controlling piece of crap. Cool. You need to stay single for a while. Stop jumping back and forth. But no matter what you do leave your pos boyfriend.
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This guy is a control freak don’t move with him actually leave now. And neither of you have the right to stand in the way of those kids knowing their Dad
DO NOT stay with the new guy. Those are all major red flags 
Isolating you from friends first then family is an abusers classic first move. Run now! Once you leave him, then take some time to yourself to sort your feelings out. Even if you want to get back with your ex/children’s father, he may not want to take you back since you broke your agreement with him. That’s something you 2 will need to figure out together.
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Move on an find somebody who’s ready for an adult relationship’s not junior high behavior.
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Came to say what I see a lot of others already have. ALL OVER the new guy. He is ABUSIVE and though he isn’t physically abusive I wouldn’t put it past him once he has completely isolated you. And I’m sorry but who cuts their child’s father out of the picture because they’re told to by another man you only just met? That’s messed up a kid NEEDS their father especially if he has changed. You should be alone and by yourself to figure your own self out before doing anything else. Or get back with the dad if you truly love him but don’t play with his heart. He changed, now it’s your turn.
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Do not move!! He wants all ties cut so he is all you have. You think the phone thing is bad now? It will only get worse.
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Kick your current boyfriend to the curb. As soon as he makes you cut ties with everyone in your “circle of security”, his true colors will show. (The colors are already dripping.) as for your baby daddy, yeah idk .
Sounds like you need to be alone for awhile and find yourself and what you want.
Your jumping out of the Pot into the fire. You need to get out of that,will be a lot worse. Do not move,he wants to get you complexly away from any Family or Friends that is when the abuse will get worse.
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if there are this kind of red flags so early on and he wants you to move far away with him… you need to exit immediately. RUN DONT WALK. Do not stay with the new guy and do NOT get into another relationship. you need to learn about yourself before you make anymore decisions. especially because of those precious children. 
i wish you well.
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You told your husband to leave bc he was smoking weed and having mental issues instead of standing by him and helping him? And when he left he did get help but during the time he left like you asked you got into a new relationship while still married? Woow girl.
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I think you should leave your current boyfriend now, like asap. He is controlling and trying to isolate you from everyone. These are huge red flags. Things will only get worse and if you have no one and no where to go you will be stuck and that’s exactly what he wants. Doesn’t matter if he is good with your kids right now.
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Leave this new guy he’s trying to isolate you. He’s gaslighting you and is controlling you’re communication with others.
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If people learnt to love themselves enough to enjoy their own company, they would be less and less people putting up with BS in the name of relationships and whatever!
You need to be alone and have time for yourself, kids… From the look of things, you know exactly what to do but you’re afraid of being alone for just 20 hours!
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Break up with his ass too
Get rid of the new man
Nothing like being with the father of your children
The new guys sounds toxic
And controlling.
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So many red flags. You need to be single and away from both of those toxic men.
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Grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Probably should of stuck by their father & worked through the issues. I think your outlook on marijuana is way too extreme too. Be alone. Figure out what you want.
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He’s not really as great as you say in the beginning let him go there are good men out here . If your family is good to you and will be there for you that’s a huge plus . He sounds very selfish
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Please don’t move there with him. Think of the kids. This is gonna end badly. 
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You know the answer. You need to leave, and you need to do it NOW. You absolutely should NOT move with him. He’s already distancing you from your friends and family.
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You need to run from that relationship your in now and fast!!!
Lived this and it will never change! Leave asap and spare yourself from the bs. It will get worse.
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Get out of relationship and stay single. You need to learn to love yourself… and be a solid foundation for your babies.
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You need to leave both men alone, and for everyone claiming she feels extreme about marijuana you obviously haven’t seen how some people lose themselves on it, become unmotivated, paranoid, temperament changes, violent outbursts or not able to control their temper, prioritize it over bills (yes I’ve smoked it on occasion, family smokes it, husband smoked it everyday for a couple years and was a completely different person on it but finally quit).
Your not gonna find what you need in a partner with either of these men, find yourself, and you will attract a man who will be good for you.
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This guy has to go. You don’t need his insecurities and controlling behavior it will never change. And do not not move to be with him, you will regret it. Big time. So do yourself and your kids a big favor and get rid of him.
It sounds like you aren’t over your kids father and therefore should be alone for awhile. Otherwise it will continue to cause internal conflict. Your current partner seems to be very controlling and that isn’t what you need right now.
You moved from one kind of abuse to another You can’t make choices for your ex but you can for you and child
You need out and then therapy to rebuild you. When you really love me you, you will make better decisions even if it’s to be free and single. No Shane
You can’t move ahead where your are.
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3 sides to every story, yours, theirs, and the truth…hard to give advice to all these one sided complaints…js!!
Wow, it’s easy to get into and out of relationships today!!!
I need more clarification. How quickly did you move on with this new relationship ? Why didn’t you stick by your husband and get him help ? Why did you just kick him out and abandon him? This new guy sounds worse than the husband, he is insecure, paranoid and trying to isolate you from friends and family. How long have you been with this new man to want to pack up and move away ? If he lives 3 hours away How often do you see him or spend time with him? How did you even meet ? Too many unanswered questions in my opinion
He is gaslighting you and it’s a form of Domestic violence. You need to leave with your boys. Contact there dad and start mediation so that the boys can start to get to know there real Dad.
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Leave this new guy. This is where abuse starts, it already started. You need to get away asap. He shut the kids dad out, your friends, and now your family will be next. Then when you move, his true colors will show and possible physical abuse will start. This is mental abuse. He’s shutting your outside world off so that you have no one to run to for help. Classic abuse behaviors. Take your children and go. Forget your things, forget letting him guilt you or make you think he will change, he will not. Cut off all communication with him when you go. Your children should know who their father is and no man who truly loves these kids will ever keep them from knowing who he is. Whether or not he smokes pot, is irrelevant, unless they are to be left alone with him, which by the sounds of it, he shouldn’t be at this point, because the kids don’t know him. This whole situation is not right. You can leave their dad but you shouldn’t make them leave their father. Meaning, they shouldn’t suffer for your leaving. He wasn’t harming them, every parent has mood changes from time to time, you should have allowed supervised visits. This new man is doing far more harm to your children than their biological father did and that’s the scariest red flag of them all. Wanting to keep another person’s kids from them, is not a good thing for anyone.
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Leave the new guy. Seems like a controlling narcissist. And leave baby daddy alone and move on. He is ok with not seeing his children for months. Thats very sad. Work on your self and put your babies first!
First of all…what happened to…‘for better or for worse’? Your husband had legitimate health issues that you, as his wife, should have helped him ‘sort out’. Expecting him to sort out mental health issues alone was wrong. He needed you understanding and support.
Second, get rid of the second guy. He’s got serious issues of his own that will make you AND your sons’ lives miserable. Apologize to your husband and see if he will have you back. If he will, make an effort to be supportive and help him through the rough parts of his life. That’s what you sign up for when you marry someone. It is supposed to work both ways, so if you some day have issues that you need help getting through, hopefully he will be there for you.
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Your current boyfriend is very controlling. That is not healthy at all. I was with somebody that was the same and it just got worse and worse and I’m betting there is more to it than just that too. I’m sure he accuses you of cheating and is constantly paranoid about it as well, like you said. I was with an abusive narcissist that was just like this, among many other things. It isn’t a good sign or healthy in any way. I would leave the relationship and be by yourself and work on healing from both relationships and focus on you and your children for a while before getting in to another relationship. It’s the best thing I ever did. Going on two years now single. We need to be able to be happy on our own sometimes before we can be happy with anyone else.
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These are literally red flags he’s nice at first but starts making small restrictions and then when you cave to all and move far away things will get bad …DO NOT move with this man for you and your kids sake!
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Sounds like you jumped into a relationship shortly ending things with Childrens father, honestly I think you never lost feelings for their dad and wanted him to get his crap together but didn’t give him time to do so before getting into this new relationship, this new relationship sounds toxic, he seems to have trust issues and is controlling, girl you know what you need to do and if you don’t then let me help…. End things with this guy asap, don’t rush into a relationship with anyone including the childrens dad , take time to fix you . If childrens dad wants relationship with his kids then let him. No man should make you give up friends or family to please his insecurities, because if it’s like that now , things are only going to get worse especially if you move away to please him. Girl run and run fast.
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Ok,I stopped reading at “if I go to another room n take my phone, he’s sees this as suspicious too…” THE FACT THAT U EVEN ENTERTAIN HIS PARANOIA IS INSANE…U 2 ARE DOOMED IF U KEEP THAT UP… be urself,when he gets weird,find the words now to shut him down respectfully & with love but without shedding dignity… ALSO…MAYBE WATCH A LITTLE CLOSER …NOT TO PUT U IN HIS MINDSET BUT SMTIMES WHEN SOMEONE BEHAVES SO MISTRUSTING ITS BC THEY CANT BE TRUSTED THEMSELVES
Get away from this control freak.
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yeah the new BF is being abusive, if he’s already trying to isolate and control you now i’d hate to see what it would turn into once he moves you away from your support system 
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Hes controlling hell no
Kids do not forget their mom/dad in a few months. Period! He has isolated you from ppl very close to you already and you let him. Now he wants to completely isolate you from your own parents and entire “village” so you have no one to run to when the abuse gets deadly. You will have him and only him. NO ONE ELSE! Idgaf what you do with yourself. But give your kids a fighting chance. Leave them with their dad or / grandparents.
He’s a massive control freak that is trying to move you away from everyone so then you can only rely on him and only him. He needs to go before it gets worse. Have you thought that maybe ya ex hasn’t shown up in months cause the new guy might’ve had a word or threatened him to stay away. He sounds Abit obsessive aswell. Get rid of sooner rather then later and have people around when you do it as who knows what he will do or even do it while he’s 3 hours away to make it easier on you
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The partner won’t to control you he don’t know how to love you if there is no trust there is no relationship please don’t move in with him things will only get worse
He helped you get on your feet…and now he thinks he has control.
You need to get rid of him also he sounds like a manipulater. Run girl run an don’t look back
The new guy you are with is only nice to you now because you are in the “Honeymoon Phase”….He will eventually become a psychotic narcissist once he cuts off all ties with your friends and family…
I would consider just being alone for a bit. There is nothing wrong with being single for a while to figure out what is best for everyone…And you don’t want to confuse the kids.
This new guy is crazy #1. He is isolating you from your family #2
He is isolating you from life long friends#3 . He is EXTREMELY CONTROLLING. Not good
In my opinion you got into another unhealthy relationship too soon ! Do you really need that kind of lifestyle?
End it with the guy . Focus on you getting your mental health in check . Concentrate on yourself and the kids ,and get in contact with their father to see how he’s doing. Build a friendship again because you care about him ,not because you want to get back with him.
In that way you will see what he’s been up too and if you really need to be pushing for him to be in the kids lives .
First. Your kids come first. If you chose to move with the guy. It’s not gonna change. Second. Do what you think is best for your kids. Not yourself. You have to think about them. Too. Because they are in the middle of all this.