This guy is not amazing. He is a controlling freak. Besides, if he is that paranoid, he is probably cheating.
Run as fast as you can , work on finding yourself & being a good mother to your children. That is all that matters right now.
Reconnect with your friends you had to delete , ask for forgiveness, thatās where your circle is.
PS , your parents are not being nice with what they said.
It will only get worse. You should leave before you get any deeper. The narcissism and abuse will get worse. Iāve lived it. It could eventually lead to him putting his hands on you. This is usually how it starts.
Choose you. Choose your kids. Choose your kids growing up around grandparents and make an extra effort when these men are both gone and you have extra time to invest in your parents. One has to hit bottom to save himself and that is out of your hands. Do not push him to be a father. The other is trying to isolate so the rest of his control issues can be set into the usual plan. Heās already showed you who heās not. Choose you. Make a plan to stay single for a year and get ahead because you can do so much better on your own. Get the life you want and then meet someone you donāt have to drag to your newfound security nor someone who will destroy your peace.
Leave him and be happy with your kids. Learn lesson not to introduce kids to every boyfriend you have unless ready to marry the guy. Hurts your kids to bounce from guy to guy. Get away from this one and wsit awhile before date again bc clearly not ready. Your parents are rightā¦it is crazy to move away and take grandkids away from their family over a guyā¦especially one you arent even happy with.
You already answered your own question and I didnāt even need to read it All!! Go with your gut INSTINCT ALWAYS!!!
Leave him or you will never be happy think about your kids get rid of him heās too controlling
Get out of your current unhealthy relationship. Heal. Reach out for some mental health help.
Learn to love yourself enough to realize that itās ok to be alone for a bit. In time work on baby steps with reinitiating contact with your childrenās father solely for them. Test the coparenting waters and youāll learn quickly if he has healed or still toxic.
Relationships with family are important however you should never be manipulated or made to feel guilty. You need to look after for yourself first, so that you can look after your sons. Everything and everyone else can wait.
Heal. Iāve feels good. Iāve been in your shoes.
Whatever you do, do not move away with your current partner. You will end up on Dateline.
You already know what you need to do!!! Get rid of this nut your with,itās going down hill fast! Be alone with your children for awhile! See what happens down the road with your husband, but donāt just move in together, take time to make sure that you really want to try and fix it. Donāt rush it!
He is trying to isolate you and you are letting him
Always trust your gut! Run girl run!
You only have your parents once & you stated they are your support system. Love them, respect them & stay near them. Love yourself & your kids enough to rid yourself of this controlling selfish man. Put your kids & parents first. Put your mental health first too. This man is not a good man or good for you. Leave him.
First of all follow your gut feeling about moving away with this man, your answer is right there, itās telling you not to do this, he sounds like a narcissist he is controlling you and it is only going to get worse, you really need to end things with him and move on with your life, do yourself a favor and consetrate on yourself and your children, you need time to heal, you can make amends with the childrenās dad but only so that he can get to know them, donāt get back into a romantic relationship with him, you need time for yourself and children, the right man will come along when you are ready, you will see you donāt need a man to complete your life, just take baby steps and enjoy the time with your children, they should be your top priority, wishing you all the best, stay safe and take care
Get out of that relationship. Wayyyyyy too many red flags. Cutting off friendships and the paranoia? Not worth it in my opinion!
I think you should end the relationship youāre in and work on yourself. Stay single for quite a while so that you are sure you know what you want before you get involved.
I went through similar, found out he was cheating and instead of going to work he was hanging with his dealer renting out my car. That style of paranoia is more of a cover up cause they are terrified someone will do to them as they do
The new guys issues arenāt yours ,you donāt deserve that mistreatment and sounds like he is trying to isolate you from everyone and everywhere you knowā¦ if u have a bad feeling itās your gut trying to tell you to run. Your kids deserve their grandparents in their lives and your parents if not toxic deserve to have you and their grandkids around. If he cared like he says he does he wouldnāt make you decide between family and him. It will only get worse. Please take some time to really make a responsible and deep decision. Just like it wasnāt your problem with their dads issues itās not your problem with this new guys trust issues. He should not be that paranoid this early and just imagine if something looked worse that it actually was, what would he do. You should not have to pay for someoneās elses mistakes and dysfunction. Good luckā¦ red flags every where
You left your husband over weed but are doubting leaving someone who is abusive to you?
Ur being controlled darlin by ur now partner. His insecurity is ur jail.
I would NOT move in with the current bf. There are so many red flags. Iāve been cheated on and I with about my bf being on his phone. That being said, heās constantly on his phone and I donāt question him. We both have the same pin and can look in each otherās phones if we want. New bf sounds like heās trying to isolate you on order to control you. Iāve also been in an abusive relationship and thatās how it starts. Took him over a year to actually put his hands on me. I would break it off with Mr controlling and just do you for a few months and see where things go with childrenās father. See if he steps up to be the dad he should without yall being together. If not, heās in it for the ābenefitsā and not his children. Youāre a packaged deal when you have children. If someone canāt accept the whole package, they arenāt worth the time or energy. Know your worth and donāt settle for less.
Do not move to his area thatās just another red flag get out. Love yourself and your kids enough not to stay in a toxic relationship.
Sending you lots of love and strength
Got outā¦its gonna get worse.
New guy is controlling and trying to isolate you from your family and friends- classic abuser move. Run and donāt look back!
Exactly what Brandy Jeter said. He is controlling you and is trying to isolate you. Once he does and you move with him, you will become fully dependent on him and leaving will become excruciatingly difficult. Please believe that, I went through it. I thought that because my sons dad wasnāt around and my guy was really good with him, for my āfamilyā dynamic and happy life/stability i so badly wanted & craved, I ignored all 50,000 red flags and moved in. I was stuck in a verbally/emotionally abusive, controlling, manipulative relationship i couldnāt afford to get out of for 2 years & to this day, the people closest to me he made me cut off iāve never been able to reconnect withā¦ I regret so many things from that relationship, but I blame myself the most & i live with the consequences daily. I take meds now to help with my mental state (from many traumas, but from the severe depression and anxiety that grew to insane levels in that relationship) & I wish i could get back the ones i lovedā¦ I feel like I let everyone down, my son down, and myself downā¦ Please run. Please get the hell out of tgat relationship and dont allow him to get an entire grip on your life. You will have to fight to get it back, and its not an easy fight when you love them & question yourself along the way. You know whats right, you see the flags. Dont ignore themā¦
I stopped reading when you kept telling us about the new guy being controlling. Stop the relationship now.
Sounds like the beginning of a narcissist attempting āanotherā relationship. The love bombing where they appear normal and after a while all hell will break loose. Free yourself, it will get worse.
New bf is abusing you emotionally now, and it will only get worse! Most likely it will turn into physical abuse at some point. Leave now! You will regret it if you donāt.
Leave them both and fix urself.
Your BF is showing some behavior that sends up red flags! Run, donāt walk away from him because he sounds very controlling. Your children donāt need to grow up seeing you get treated that way, they will think itās normal. Get rid of BF. I speak in love because I have been there. The biggest red flag is him cutting you off from friends and family. That is a textbook sign of an abuser. Love yourself more than this BF loves you. You deserve better.
The weed smoker you tell ākick rocksā but youāre torn about this idiotš
Run.
Yooo you said new bf was amazing and then listed reasons why heās crazy abusive and controlling.
Be by yourself. Fall in love with yourself.
The new guy is giving off bad vibes.
New guy is controlling and that control will probably turn violent if you defy him. Id would have rather stuck with someone who smoked weed to help their back pain than this new guy and how he acts. I feel like the kids dad is probably hurt you left him when he was hurt and trying to use a natural medication instead of pain pills or muscle relaxers what are way worse.
Listen to your GUT! you have already answered your own question! Donāt move and cut your children off from their grandparents due to some 1 giving you a false sense of security sweet heart. Like others have said you deserve better and the things that your current partner is doing to you arenāt right! You need to be a strong example for your kids but mostly for yourself! You need to focus on them and doing the best for yourself and your babies. Despite whether you love the current partner or not THINGS WONāT IMPROVE, THEY WILL ONLY GET WORSE! please take into consideration all advice given as you reached out for help and we are all trying to give it too! Good luck
You said it in your postā¦ you already know!!! Always go with your gut & ALWAYS do whatās best for you & your kids! This new man Iām not Jealousā¦ heās obsessive! The fact that youāve allowed him to dictate what you can & canāt do letās him know he can control you!
You couldnāt handle the ex smoking pot, for a legit medical reason ā¦ but youāre ok with the new guy cutting you off from you whole life and circleā¦ . Thatās the beginning of abuse. Once everyone is cut off the real abuse can start, bc youāll have no one to run to. Smarten up, at least for your kids. Spend some time alone, wait for a while to be with someone else, and wait until you know how the relationship will go before introducing your kids.
And you cut the kids off from their dad for this foolā¦ girlā¦ get it together. Theyāre not collateral damage bc you got a new boyfriend. How long before you gotta cut the kids off too bc theyāre not his? What would you tell your friend if she said all this. You got to know this isnāt right.
Idk how long you been with new bf. But girlā¦ hes got to go. He WILL control every aspect of your life, he already does n you havent moved yet. Soon hes gonna advice you to stay homeā¦ Then youll have moved, have no money of your own to leave. He will trap you in n control you.
And breaking up witb your babys father over using medical marijunana doesnt seem fairā¦ Now it also sounds like he was using it irresponsibly. I think you shpuld have discussed his useage before you had him leave (maybe you did) but when you need to smoke a plant grown out of our beautiful mother earth instead of taking man made pills that usually destroy your mind and/or body irs probably tge better choice. Obviously im pro natural methods. The wewd didnt make him horrible (although i know that some people handle it difftently) but is wasnt thevweed it was his actions tyat needed discussed. Weed doesnt make you lazy or anything else (some does but you just need a diffrent strain) but honestly girl, if it was for pain manegment, theres nothing wrong with smoking. I promise some off tge street coke or even perscribed harder drugs would have helped take the pain away way way quicker AND to a better extent weed still makes the pain hurt just more manegable. 9 guess what im trying to say is if youd leave him over what he uses to manage his pain ( which he used the best method around ) did you ever really care? Not to be mean but you need to fibd someone that isnt that easy for you to leave (and new guy aint gonna be easy to leave but youll wish hevwas gonevsoon, he sounds like he coukd easily excelate to violence)
Hopefully you donāt live together, do you have your own place? Does he live in your house
New guy wonāt change, will separate you from family and friends so you have nowhere to run to when you wake up and realise your alone. Donāt go, stay where you are. You donāt need a man like that, whatās he teaching your sonās? Too many red flags. Put your foot down and get back in touch with your mates. If he canāt accept you and your phone heās got a mental issue that trumpās depression. Your parents will always love you, listen to them.
Do not move! The red flags are all over the place! He is an emotional abuser which can quickly turn into physical abuse as well! They isolate you from any close friends or family members in the first step and thatās what heās doing right now! Run donāt walk away while you still can!
You have gone from my one toxic relationship to anotherā¦here is a thoughtā¦how about you remain single for awhileā¦enjoy your kids and fix yourselfā¦both of these men are throwing red flags from all directions and yet you still are allowing this new BF to control youā¦cutting you off from friends and familyā¦is the work of an abuserā¦love yourself more and get outā¦before it is too late!!!
In a new relationship and heās already controlling you, please do not stay with this person
Take some time for yourself and your kids
He sounds worse than your baby daddyā¦ kick him to the curb next thing you do!! Bye
Your current boyfriend is isolating you from your support network and controlling your communication. Once he thinks he has you trapped, he will abuse you and your kids. Iād put money on it. Leave while you still can.
this new relo will fuk u up more thn th one with ur baby daddy
You need to get yourself away from your new bf he is a complete control freak by the sounds of it and if you moved you will be isolated
You left the father of your child while he was struggling mentally and physically. Then you got with a guy who is controlling and abusive. You donāt deserve to be controlled Iām not saying thatā¦ but u donāt you find it a bit like karma doing its work? I agree with the people saying to stay singleā¦ the first guy deserves someone who will stick by his side when things get rough and the 2nd guy needs to be single and get some help. Do you.
Do not move away from your parents,red flags all over the place ,you need to rid of him like now for your children sake ,
You need to stay single how find out why you go from one toxic relationship to another. Work on you first then youāll attract the healthy relationship
This new guy and how suspicious he is that is a big red flag!! Hes cutting you off from your safety netā¦your parents. Your friends.
It doesnt matter how much he helps you or how great he is with your kids. I believe this is abuse. I believe it will get worse. Then your kids will be caught up in it too.
As for your husband. I think you need to let him go.
Start working on yourself. Do some self care and healing. Its ok to be alone so that you can get yourself together and build your self esteem. Think about your relationships. What worked what didnt work. How did these men make you feel. Start setting boundaries. Do not let anyone take control of your life. You keep control of your life. You do what is best for you amd your kids. Not what this guy wants you to do. And it isnt in your best interest. I hope you see what this new relationship is doing to you. And what he is doing to you. I think you should leave him. Im sorry but thats what I see. I wish you well. Be safe. Your kids need you.
In my opinion, a single mom shouldnāt date when she has children under 8 years old. Children need attention, focus on them. Please donāt up and move for a man when you know he wonāt do the same. Your children are small, spend time with them and get rid of this guy. If the father is not putting an effort, donāt force it. Leave both of them alone.
Please donāt move in with somebody who doesnāt TRUST you. It will only end in tears. Please, justā¦ Donāt
Quit thinking with your vagina and be a mother to your kids.
Your current is insecure and controlling. Cut your losses already. He wants to alienate you from everybody then drop you like a hot potato. Take time off and think things thru. Reconect with your friends. Above all, donāt move away from your parents just because he wants you to.