My kids are being inappropriate after walking in on my husband and I, help!

I have a 7 year old daughter and a 5 year old son. I know they have caught their dad and I having sex. We now have issues of them being inappropriate or weird together. I do not want to create a divide between them. I have tired to explained what they are doing is wrong. I do not believe they comprehend what they are doing. Please help me!


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My kids are being inappropriate after walking in on my husband and I, help!

I’m a 50 year old Mother so this is not “millennial” parenting, but we have to STOP asking kids what they want or need and catering. TELL them to STOP doing it - explain the sexuality and privacy part and then the familiar part. They’re 5 and 7 they can handle reality. They keep doing it there should be some reaction - but I’m assuming it’s a “no punishment no consequences” home.


You gotta separate them… No changing clothes in front of each other, no baths together, separate rooms, and now you have to be on them like a hawk… No leaving them alone… They definitely should know right from wrong at this age… Its also time for tough discipline… Monitor what they’re watching on tv and the internet


You don’t really explain yourself very good in what your saying here…just what are your children doing with each other?
If your children are trying out sexual activitys out on each other at there age then I would be more concern with if anything is being done to them in a sexual way.
Maybe children counseling wouldn’t be such a bad ideal,…


What’s wrong with shutting the door and educating them to knock and ask to be admitted , then teach them about love making between adults not for children ! No punishment is necessary


The comments on here are really harsh. It happens. The important thing is to help them understand, there are specific counsellors you can engage to help your children :slightly_smiling_face: it may be best to utilise the counsellors as they know how to explain things in an age appropriate & know how to provide the information so they feel safe & secure. I work with children & I think all the negative comments on here are from people who have no idea how common this can actually be - not always from seeing parents, but being exposed to online marketing, television, movies, imagines in books etc.
do make sure you check you have filters or blocks on for any online content as you don’t want them searching for further information on what they saw online & receiving inaccurate info that can affect them for life.


First thing get a locking door handle for your bedroom door .

Then explain that mom and dad show love to each other by doing special kinds of touching.

Bothers and sisters do not do this.

Make sure they have separate rooms and get dressed and undressed in their own rooms with their doors closed.


Have you told them what the saw? Talked about it? They’re old enough at that age to know the basics and to have the explanation that it’s something for adults to do not kids. It’s also normal at their ages to try to reenact things and behaviors they’ve witnessed they can’t process so their follow up behavior while worrisome is developmentally understandable. that parent group (with Cath Hakanson) has some great resources and information on topics like this


Y’all have to learn to lock doors or make sure them kids are sleep :sleeping: but if it continues I’d take them to a professional cause wtf lol


You people need to take it easy on mom. Many of you act like u are saints. It was an accident, nothing more. At least mom is trying to remedy this awkward situation. I know my kids walked in on me. Oh well. Mom, ignore the negative comments and continue to parent as you see fit!


I have zero experience but my suggestion is to sit them down and explain that even though they love each other, sibling love is very different to mum and dad love. Explain that you and your husband met, dated, are only related by marraige and only non blood people do those things, not families like brothers, sisters, cousins aunts, uncles etc. Explain the love they see between mum and dad only happens when we grow up and how they are acting is not how a child should act. Obviously in a calm way, they don’t know any better unless u tell them, it’s not like they’re in trouble, they don’t know they’re doing the wrong thing. Good luck.


I mean… who hasn’t walked in on their parents doing it… come on people. CHILL.
All jokes aside, just educate and reinforce appropriate behavior.
Also, people need to stop asking for more details… it shouldn’t matter…Anything of a sexual nature coming from an elementary school aged child should be paid attention to.


They need to be educated about sex. It’s taboo obviously and that’s your problem. This comments section is mostly a dumpster fire and I send all the love to any children being affected by this scary nonsense. Y’all lie to your kids their whole lives and wonder why they resent and rebel later.


They are at 7 and 5 very aware of what certain feelings bring. At 7 and 5 they should have already have had some type of healthy personal and appropriate touch talk. They need to understand what they saw and that it is something that is appropriate for 2 adults to do. Children are not old enough to engage those activities. If a grown up or another kid does that to you it is not ok and it is not an appropriate touch. Talk about it in a non shaming way. Also just on the other side of the fence have they possibly been exposes to more than just an accidental walk in on mom and dad? Are they in the care of others inside or outside of your home? Again approach this as a learning and growth experience and not a punishment or shameful event. This will have a major impact on thier sexual relationships as an adult one day.


Like how much did they see for them to act it out now. You guys did stop right, when they walked in


Just buy them new bikes or something. My parents got me a new skateboard and I turned out fine.


Accidents happen. I have no advice but I hope you find something to help! Not everyone has lockable doors and sometimes kids are ninja silent. Dont get scared and stop your special time together!


I would tell them it is a beautiful thing when a mom and a dad and that it’s where they came from. I would not pressure them for answers as it may embarrass them to the point of never talking about it. Tell them if they have questions or concerns ur always available. People on here are making such a ruckus and it doesn’t have to be.


Maybe try to visit a library or go online for some advice from a child psychologist on how to handle. I myself would tell them that this behaviour is not acceptable and i would sanction them as i would any other misdemeanours.


Maybe time to set boundaries and keep an eye for agressive behaviour. Their gonads are not active yet. They are acting out what they saw. This is a tough one. They cannot unsee.


Wow some of the comments on here ffs when children act out it doesn’t always mean they have been abused depending on how long they were there and the extent of what they saw will depend on what they act out ,they saw their loving parents who they learn from copulating and would innocently think is the way to behave with each other , what an absolute nightmare for you just talking to them that it is not how to behave with each other and reassure them that any form of self touch is perfectly normal and let them know that they can explore that in the safety of their room on their own in private, definitely time to have a serious pants talk , talking about it reaffirming boundaries with doors and people’s bodies eventually it will pass x


Its something mommy and daddy’s do. Not siblings pretty straightforward there mom. Like I get why they are doing it. My daughter went through a period where she was jealous that I have daddy and get to sleep next to someone. They only know what they see. Explain it like animals my daughter knows you cant breed the boy and girl from this litter together and blah blah. Ita nothing weird about biological behavior


I’m so thankful I never heard, saw or was aware of my parent’s sex life.
Hell, who knows, maybe they never had one.


I will just Tell them that only adults do that. It is Not for kids, that when they get older you will explain it to them.

Talk to them as soon as posible,Because remember kids talk at school or they may act on it.

Boys from young their body reacts.

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For one they should know to knock before entering. Secondly as soon as that happened you should of explained in an age appropriate way what happened and obviously the fact that it’s something that only happens between adults.
I suggest you keep a close eye on them for a while and perhaps seek help from a health visitor, teacher or some other professional


at 7 i knew exactly what sex was and why people did it because i was educated on the matter. so you can explain to your daughter at least what it is and why she shouldn’t be acting inappropriately. she’s definitely old enough to understand what it is and why she shouldn’t be doing anything similar. also you can separate them enough with creating a massive divide between them. it’s normal for kids to be bathing and dressing separately at that age but i don’t really have enough information to go on to know what, if anything, they do separately. you don’t need to make it into a bigger problem than it already is, all it needs is some good communication between you and your kids.

Facts: not a single one of us are free from forgetting to do something… turning off a burner, shutting off the lights as we’re leaving a room, setting a timer to go off, etc… So, just stop pretending that you’re all so perfect! Sometimes people forget things and in her situation, it so happened to be that she didn’t lock her door. For whatever the reason was, I’m certain that she and her husband did not intend for the children to see whatever it was that they saw. The parents may have been carrying on for a bit completely oblivious to the fact that the children were even present and watching for a period of time because mom and dad were focused on each other and “in the moment”. Children are curious and may have been even a bit shocked by what they were seeing and/or hearing. Furthermore, now in their curiosity they are wanting to role-play the behavior that they inadvertently witnessed mom and dad doing, which is now a problem. Mom is seeking advice, not judgement.


Why would you post this on fb ??? Fb does not have awnsers …go see a doc wow that’s why peaple are starting to delete thier accounts. Are you right in the head holly shit


I don’t think its normal for kids to act like that after walking in on their parents. My kids have burst into our room before and never did they ever try to do anything with each other and they are 7 and almost 4. Same with other kids I know have walked in on their parents before. Maybe its because I have been raped before and molested as a child, but honestly thats one if the first few signs of sexual assault in children other than bed wetting and changed behavior. You need to have a serious talk with your children. Teach them right from wrong, teach them the correct names for their genital areas and that no one should ever touch their parts and if anyone ever makes them feel uncomfortable or ask them such things to come to you. Teach them only adults do these things with each other, etc. You may think they are too young but knowledge is power and in the world we live in today we need to be extremely cautious for our kids and there awareness of things.


After you figure out what to say to them …I would go back to step 1 and buy a lock for your bedroom door…


You could try explaining what they’re doing isn’t for brothers and sisters to do, it’s only for Mom’s and Dad’s… and you’ll explain more when they’re older.

Give them ideas for brother-sister games… and if they keep being inappropriate, separate them (rooms or corners) for 5-10 min. Every time. And encourage the brother-sister games.

You could also try to find a children appropriate book about Mom’s & Dad’s, the birds and the bees.


This is vague. How much did they see to be… emulating you… if that’s what you’re getting at. Educate them and try not to react in any overdramatic way, kids get a kick out of doing things they learn are taboo.


I never ever had that problem NEVER!
Never had a lock on any internal door in the house either.
Mine are now adults and in their 30s!
I say timing your sex is paramount.
We only did it when we knew they were well and truly asleep. Usually late at night. If they both went to a birthday party etc on a weekend, wed do it then.
Our time for a couple of hours.
Never ever if we went away.
To me that was taboo, especially in a caravan! When they were in their mid to late teens, my now ex and I split and divorced.
Never ever did I have a male stop over here after that.
That was showing what you dont do with just anyone.
Bad standards.
Since before my last one left home theres never ever been anyone in my life sadly.
If I had my time over again, Id still do it the same way it was done back then.
The only thing they ever caught us at was at Christmas - putting the presents under the Christmas tree!


I have to seen this from the net, its not safe, movies (remembering kids can sneak super damn quiet, those who say never been caught, the kids may have gotten a glimpse, be it movie, net, caught, or friends and friends parents and yes while your in the act but not seen your kid, or kids may have pillows on ears as moans are loud and woken them up without realising but nwver said anything i know i never said anything but was disturbed to say the least but carried on hoping to not see it again. both my parents, and grandparents I accidentally walked in on as a child, and now its time for these parents to correct kids behavior, and state that blunt fact they don’t want to, heck these kids these days I’d say know more sex positions then us teens mainly, but they had to learn see experience it themselves, and thats not with family, at times but outside influences, the taps on the bum I have had to stop here, as witnessed but get to it early and bluntly but it takes a bit, in saying that I understood it was not blunt to me but a knowledge it was not blood but became blood for the marriage side of things, and yes different families, so the 7 ur old should be better behaved and the 5 ur old is influencual old uncle randy he won’t know better if sister keeps being incest. That girls old enough to understand as is the boy, as the two young ones here are 7 and 5 both girls the 10yr old boy But still knows that this is wrong . Thats the fun and games of being a parent.

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I hope this brings you some peace, I’m sure I’ll get some stick for saying this.
It’s absolutely normal for children to experiment with their bodies, especially as they become aware of their bodies. This is not out of the ordinary.
It’s definitely time to start sex education, they’ve seen something, you can’t turn the clock back, and they don’t fully understand what they have seen, children use play to understand everything in life. It’s also absolutely normal for children to imitate and copy adults. In this country we start sex education too late, if you don’t know where to start, get some books, mummy laid an egg is one that comes to mind, although there are many. The positive is, early sex education helps prevent sexual abuse as kids know what is right and wrong from the start - it shouldn’t be a taboo subject.

If it helps, in many tribes/native people, they all slept in one room. Children would have been well aware of parents having sex of all their lives. It was not hidden from them as it is a part of nature and how children come about.
It’s only in recent human history we have decided to hide this so thoroughly from kids and tell a them strange fairy tales rather then the truth of reproduction. It’s also a great science lesson.

Living with lots of animals, my children have always been aware of what sex is, you have to be honest, else they think the animals are killing each other. Animals are a great place to start and can ease the discomfort you may feel speaking about this subject. They should know what all the parts of their bodies are for - even the ones that can’t use yet. Once they know and understand, children usually think it is gross and do not want to do it - also a natural part of their being.
Sometimes one child can be the instigator, so keep and eye out for this and make sure that child is healthy mentally and has not had any sexual abuse, which could obviously change this whole situation. Just take a deep breath, it’s absolutely normal.

You need to tell and explain what they saw. But my question mainly is why leave the door unlocked? My kids knock every time they go into any door whether open or closed.


Lock your bedroom door , then they can’t just burst in . They are too young to know about sex , just act as if nothing has happened , but lock your door .

I would explain that it’s something only married people do at that age.

Why in the hell did you not lock the door…omg really :flushed:


What are they doing ??


You just gotta teach em that what bathing suit covers, means no touching.


This shit went all the way left… :worried:


Congratulations. You just introduced you kids to amateur porn. Next we’ll hear the have cell phones too​:joy::rofl::joy::rofl:

Do good touch bad touch you need to explain what they saw and explain it’s not something children should do!! I wouldn’t tell them off or you’re drawing attention to it just redirect play now! I think it’s probably best to keep the idea the body is private! This will pass but I can’t say loud enough the more you make of these the worse it will get

If you don’t reach them. tiktok will sadly

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Lock the damned door #1.

Just move to Alabama. It’s legal there. Lol.

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Seek counseling, clearly you are worried.


When you have kids, you need to schedule when and where to have sex… like seriously :expressionless: and it should be in a private setting. This is so preventable… smh.

You have to tell them the birds and the bees now and that’s how babies are made and brothers and sisters cannot do those things under any circumstances. Be blunt and brutal. No one is to blame but yourselves and i feel more sorry for the kids than you. Smh.


lol dude chill this happens to everyone . They’re not being “weird” . If they don’t understand what they’re doing is not appropriate for them to do then you haven’t explained it . You probably used weird words or examples. Literally just tell them . Also . What are they doing ? What’s “weird” and “inappropriate”??? There’s literally no explanation on what they’re actually doing

The distinction I would make is between adults and children rather than right and wrong

It doesn’t take rocket science to lock a door. You and your spouse need counseling by a professional not your kids you two do. Facebook isn’t where your going to find the right answers to this.

I think OP SUCKS at explaining fucking sex & is some fucking weirdo herself. YOUR BODY ,THEIR BODY; you need to talk about it. My daughter is 4 in November and she knows women or girls have vaginas and men or boys have penis’s. She knows no one should be touching her body and she should not be touching anyone else’s. She’s never walked in on me and her father but she’s 4 she’s discovering her own body and so many WHY questions, you have to be able to discuss things with your children and tell them that it’s your jobs to answer their questions and any question is okay to ask . However it’s other parents jobs to do that for their children not her. As a child I was sexually abused and my parents didn’t believe me until years later. It really fucked me up. I want my child to tell me anything and everything and always feel open to come to me about anything . I also want it to be completely undeniable that it happened. Grow TF up

Some kids get a whipping for it. A baby could be created in a few years. Stop it now

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Act like an adult parent and don’t let your kids walk in on you having sex. It’s your problem not your kids. Have an effective lock on your door

Stop it now before it gets worst. Explain they can get taken away or put in jail when they are older. Be firm and get it stopped.

What is it they’re doing? What you should do depends on what they’re actually doing…

Is this even real Life :rofl::rofl::rofl::100:

Keep your doors locked

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Pagen Kathleen Allen :joy:

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Put a lock on your door :+1:

For one, try locking the door!

Alexis Destiney Graddy

Butter or Vaseline on the door knobs works a treat

Lock your door, dumbass.

Naj Osman Lettie Beaubien

Talk to
Less doctors

Have you talked with them about it ? It’s important to normalize sex and not make it a taboo and teach them what’s appropriate for their level of understanding


Carissa Mattaboni :rofl::rofl:

Melissa Sandra the comments :skull:

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Lol locking the door helps :joy:


If you have trouble talking to them about what they saw, seek counseling (for all of you). Oh, and lock your door!


Door locks. Great thing for parents to invest in. Some kind of lock or latch and hook could have prevented this.


Number 1, lock the f*****g door! Pick your time and place, You Are Responsible for what they see and learn in your home. Do not punish them, you need to control the daily narrative . They always mimic what they see mom and dad doing. Lock the door, pick your timing. Rest of their life your actions effect them.


Say they were your evil doppelgängers and if they keep imitating y’all they gon take them away forever to hell. Idk that’s what my catholic parents did and it worked . I didn’t see them doing the seks but I heard them cuss . And since they cussed I wanted to cuss but after that whole evil twin thing I was petrified.


What you mean your to scared to divide them? Divide them they are not the same their needs to be that point where you divide them. You need to be able to let them know why and how their different and how siblings behave with eacother. I have a boy and girl and let me tell you I make it clear and I divide when I have too. No matter if they walked in on you or not the fact that they grow and ask questions about their bodies.


It sounds like you took more of a do as I say don’t so as I do approach and left it there. Explaining in age appropriate way as to that is something that parents do and not something brothers and sisters do will more than likely go a long way.
Is that going to work on every kid, no.
Good luck.


Need context to know what you mean by inappropriate… sex is a normal thing for parents to do and children will walk in and see it at least once in their lives … having open discussions about what they saw and heard is a good start and explaining proper names for the body and functions is also something they should know at their ages … sex isn’t shameful nor something to hide or never speak about … talk with your children and answer their questions honestly and with facts that are age appropriate.


Ask them if they know what they saw and if needed explain to them tell them in no uncertain terms that it is for adults only and is totally not ok for brothers and sisters to do ever.


Time for the facts of life. I was told at age 4. They saw it and now you need to explain that is what adults that love and have chosen each other to be their one and only, like your mommy and daddy, do to show it after they are married. That should explain the relationship that it is appropriate to do it within for their age. Also a great opportunity to ask them if they have any other questions and answer them in a manner they can understand. My dad told me the mechanics and when he asked if I had any questions and I said “Can I go play now?” I’m 60 and still can remember it clear as yesterday. I think being told young gave me facts and no drama and also let me be aware if someone was trying to talk me into something I knew was wrong so I could better protect myself. Yay Dad for being ahead of his time with that info.

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Ummm something is fishy with this. So they walk in on mom and dad once and start trying to copy with each other ?? Yeah…… either something more is going on or mom and dad won’t step up and tell them that’s not how they act.


There’s a saying…Monkey see… Monkey do… Get a lock on your bedroom door and teach your children about privacy. And if you don’t know how to explain your situation then get counselling immediately


Just stop talking about it, they are young & will forget about it. Remember to lock your door & teach them to knock before entering & explain to them that everyone needs privacy to either change their cloths, or that mommy & daddy needs to having a private conversatin, etc., this way they won’t think that the only reason u close the door is for sex. Get away from what they saw, they will forget, stop talking about it, ignore them if they bring it up, & they will stop.


Be responsible and cautious. That’s your own fault!


It’s pretty simple. Explain what you were doing. Tell them it’s something married people over 18 years old do (or a committed couple. Let’s make this SIMPLE) and then tell them that brothers and sisters or cousins do not do it. Even if they’re old enough.

Keep it simple and there is nothing wrong with telling them it’s inappropriate for them to play act.

And for goodness sake, either lock your door or teach them to knock.

Side note. I’m pretty sure my brother’s GI Joe ravaged my Barbie Dolls, but I never knew about it until we were adults. My Mom & Dad were pretty clear about appropriate behavior and we turned out just fine.

Sorry but I make sure the doors always locked and the dogs outta the room!:joy: Talk to your kids! Let them know what mommy and daddy are doing and it’s something only adults do together when they love each other :two_hearts:

So what exactly are they doing and how are they being inappropriate? Its normal for kids to be weirded out after seeing their parents have sex. That’s expected. But we cant give you the right advice because you aint saying enough

I already commented this in the actual forum and I hope the mother in question sees it — but there is potential to really damage these kids if they are scolded or made to feel bad or shameful about sex. What is needed badly in this situation is an open and positive conversation about sex, about how our bodies are sexual and that’s good, but that being sexual with your siblings is wrong. Explain WHY being sexual with a sibling is wrong, don’t just say “it’s wrong” and never explain. It’s super normal for kids to start exploring their sexuality so please don’t shame them, just be open with them.

Go to internet sex education for children. There are a number of good age appropriate books to read with a child. It is never too soon to answer a child’s questions. Some of the books are formatted in question form and there are good descriptions of content. You read first and then read together and wait for questions.

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Why have sex ,when the kids are around? Ask a child Psychologist what to do.
There’s nothing wrong with, sex. when a mommy and daddy really love each other and want to show their affection for each other. When they’re all grown up and find that special person too start a family with. Your still children and have many years ahead of you before finding that special person to create a family with. Children shouldn’t have sex with each other , especially brothers and sisters. It’s best with those who are not related to each other. I’d only answer questions and don’t make a big deal out of it. Your kids will move on too something else if you don’t freak and cause them too want to feel and touch each other…I think there’s a book you can find online that’ll help you explain about sex to you kids… your kids will lose interest if you don’t make a big deal out of it…

Explain that this is what adults do. Not children. Watch them and buys some damn door locks. Or don’t do it when your kids are up and about.

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My son is 18 now and when he was younger lets say 12ish when we had our door locked or closed my son back them used to say that we were having sex and used put notes under the door and tell us we are disgusting this went on for ages even when I explained to him that its completely normal.
Now he is 18 and cannot believe me how he used to carry on about sex.
My problem is they way he used to carry on effected me so bad that I cannot have sex in my house with my husband as this has scarred me emotionally.
The on way I feel comfortable is when my son is out.
Since lock down Its not very often my poor hubby gets anything from me.
I don’t know how to fix my brain as seeing a councilor will not work for me as I don’t believe in them.
Plus I have no sex drive at all I wish I did and I dont know what to do to fix this I am post menopause as well.

You know if talking to them doesn’t working maybe a therapist will know some tricks that can work on this situation

talk to them, tell them what is OK example being a hug i s ok and what is not , kissing on mouth is not, Do NOT SHAME THEM, find other distractions when you see the behaviors happen , gently re direct them to positive behavoir and it will stop,

They invented locks on doors for a couple of reasons, Intruders and for parents having private moments from nosy little ones. :eyes::eye::unlock::key:

Educate appropriately for their age, establish boundaries. discipline is to teach not punish. Disciple, disciple them, teach them. And DO NOT shame them or make it dirty. They will never be able to engage in sexual intimacy in a healthy way. You don’t want them hating themselves when it comes time to explore their own bodies or enter into a relationship with someone else. It’s not dirty or nasty. They are curious. Kids act out what they see all the time.
I walked in on my parents at age 6; I’ll never forget it. And my parents made it weird. Never actually discussed it so it felt wrong and shameful to even walk in on them.
And it’s normal for children to look at or even touch their peers or siblings genitals. Especially that age.
When it becomes more than curiosity is when it’s problematic. Which is why its absolutely necessary to discuss this safely and appropriately. Not shaming them. And letting them know if they want to touch themselves that it is a private thing and must be done in the bathroom or bedroom alone. Because it’s normal and ok to do that. But setting those boundaries that touching others is only done between two adults etc…

Here is a helpful guide and ways to talk to them.

They are both old enough to understand what sex is!! I knew where babies came from, and how they were made at 5. Invest in a door lock, and use it!! Teaching manners, i.e. knock on the door and wait until you tell them they can come in is a must!! Sit each child down individually and explain what they saw. Explain it is for adults not children. Answer all of their questions honestly. If you catch them, separate them, sending each to their own room. BE CONSISTENT!!

Put a lock on your door! Sit down with them and tell them the truth. Brothers and sisters don’t do that, maybe you could get them outside help.

Wow. This is crazy. Sounds like they had a front row seat. Until I was 13 I thought adults were like dogs but could not understand the hook together thing! I think they must have saw sex on the internet to know so much. Also, there are video games showing sex. They need a talk. If u feel you cannot do it send them to a counselor who knows what to do. Good luck, it should be okay.