My kids dislike my exes new girlfriend due to the fact that she is always drinking: Advice?

I mean she is an adult. Why would your kids have any say so in what an adult can or can’t do. Does she get intoxicated and act a mess? That would be different because it would threaten their safety. But if it’s just a fact of not liking it for no reason, then it’s a they problem and they need to learn that they don’t get to decide what the grown ups can or cannot do.

Unfortunately there isn’t a whole lot you can do . You can have a family meeting so everyone is comfortable too say how they feel about the drinking. And thats all you can do. If he wants too be an ass and walk away from the kids due too them stating how they feel than his loss and probably better for your kiddos in the long run … It might be a blessing in disguise.

If theyre not biologically his, why are they going to see him anyway? If the kids dont like the atmosphere there, why force them to go? Unless youre making him pay for kids that arent even his and this is how you get your money? If thats the case, you gotta decide if pimping out your kids for the money is worth exposing them to that woman. Otherwise, why do the kids NEED to go over there at all? Just keep them home.

None of their business, they’re not even his kids

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Just because he isn’t their biological father, doesn’t mean he’s not their Dad. For all you know he’s the only Father they know. He’s a blessing to those children. If they are coming to you uncomfortable, I’d simply bring it to his attention. The fact that they aren’t his biological children, yet he’s still there for them speaks volumes.

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Hold on has no one picked up on the fact the children ain’t actually the guys? So the guy out of his own freewill takes your children for a meal etc, when he don’t have too, yet your complaining about one alcoholic drink with a meal which any normal adult has :man_shrugging: the solution? Tell the guy he can’t see them if you’re that bothered, he ain’t got a leg to stand on as they’re not his :see_no_evil:

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He’s not their father and he’s acting just as reckless as you are. You both need to grow up and do what’s best for those kids. If she’s drinking there’s a high chance of her driving with the kids in her vehicle. Which means if she gets into an accident you and your kids are SOL and CPS WILL take your kids if you didn’t do anything to prevent it.

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He isn’t the kids father … He isn’t obligated to see your children , so what HIS girlfriend does ISN’T YOUR BUSINESS && if it bothers you THAT much you don’t have to let your children see him you put your kids in that position 🤷Not to be rude but this was a dumb question to ask‍🤦

I’m a mother and I enjoy a drink or two most nights. I worked bloody hard during the day at my job and then always on the go at home. As long as your kids are safe, warm and fed then there really is no issue at all. Let the girl unwind and relax and if that is with a drink then so be it.

Your kids need to understand it’s okay for an adult to have alcohol at a restaurant… they’d cut them off at a certain point anyway. Also, he took your kids out to eat and instead of thank you it’s I dont like your girlfriend??? He has every right to be out with another woman and the kids and yourself need to accept it.

Ok so this man is not your kids father so I suppose their father is not in their lives,so they are close to your ex and now he has a girlfriend which likes to drink which is her business unless she’s a drunk,just tell your ex that your kids can’t go visit with her there simple enough and if he has a problem with it oh well just tell your kids that you don’t feel safe with them over there if she’s there.

Too many questions. If they are uncomfortable why are they still hanging out with someone who really doesn’t have anything to do with the kids in question without said parent? That’s kinda weird right there. (Your kids are “uncomfortable” hanging around with an adult who has no relevance or relationship with them. You or their other parental unit are not involved. Hello? If you don’t see any problems with this part, start there.)

If you have court ordered custody you can have a child’s bill of rights thrown in. We did. And it includes no consumption of alcohol around the child.

You should ask your kids if it bothers them enough to not go with them. I don’t send my kids with people they don’t want to go with. Idc who it is.
You should first & foremost go about this honestly too. If your kids & this man you already allowed in their life want to continue a relationship, let them. If your kids & that man DONT want to continue a relationship, do NOT make them.
It sounds like maybe your kids just aren’t really ever around drinking & new gf is just having a drink with dinner, which you could & should honestly explain to your kids is totally normal & doesn’t mean she’s getting “drunk” or an “alcoholic”.
What I don’t suggest is ripping away a positive figure who obviously does & has cared for your kids over something petty. Be honest & be blessed. :heart:

As a mother of two this is a weird question.

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He doesn’t have to see them no more they his biologically

I feel like if it bothers the kids that much just don’t send them by him anymore. I’m also curious as to whether the new GF drinks several drinks & is obnoxious or just has one with dinner & is perfectly fine. Personally I think it’s weird to completely shelter the kids from any drinking. I rarely drink but I don’t hide it when I do. When we go camping I’ll let loose & have a few. I don’t see anything wrong with her responsibly drinking. Your kids are in his care so just tell him it makes them uncomfortable. If it pisses him off then stop letting him see them. :woman_shrugging:

If the kids don’t like her drinking then keep them home. It’s simple really

They’re not his. No question but to shut it down.

Talk to him and set boundaries

You can’t control what his girlfriend does or doesn’t do.

Alcohol is adult only.
And minus a few rare occasions (like an innocent wedding toast) it should be around adults only.
On another note- growing up with a drunk parent SUCKED. HARD.
so I’m a little sensitive with parents drinking in front of kids.
Tell him to break it off with her or get her into a group if she cannot stop doing it in front of the kids.
This could spiral- quickly.
Within less than a year my childhood went from ‘mom doesnt drink’ to ‘hide the razors in the bathroom and make sure she is laying sideways because face down or up and she’ll start choking on her own vomit again’
She had never really drank, and never has problems with alcohol.
Tell her to get control of it.

Either it’s a safety issue or not, and that is the only thing that would matter in a court of law. Personal opinion, distaste or bias is not important. If they aren’t biologically his and has no custody then of course you could always say no to visitation period, unless he can prove paternity.

First off- your ex BF that isn’t the kids father is doing YOU a favor by still being involved in the kids lives. 2nd- is she drinking or is she drunk? There is a big difference. If she’s just drinking and you and your kids are uncomfortable, you could step out of the exes life so that he could continue to enjoy it. If she’s getting drunk and the kids uncomfortable, you could step out of the exes life so that he could continue to enjoy it. 3rd- does it really make the kids uncomfortable, or did they just happen to mention it to Mommy and now Mommy is trying to reign control over something that’s none of her business?

As a person who has been around kids
And alcohol it can turn ugly in a second
If your children are saying they dont like being around her there is a reason and you should listen to your kids talk to them
And LISTEN to what they are saying

Why do you keep letting them go. If they are not his, Why do we s he get to see them?