- if he isn’t bio dad why is he seeing them so often?
- she’s an adult and she’s drinking at dinners os
If he acts like a child and they aren’t his and his gf makes kids uncomfortable just tell him kids won’t be going with him any more. End of story
cant control people unless they are harming your child…
If their yours and not his than why put that bad influence on them. Your harming your own children
Nothing. Unless she poses a threat, nothing at all.
Is she getting belligerently drunk or shes just drinking… Having a drink at dinner is acceptable.
Talk to their dad and tell them they expressed discomfort and ask him to speak to his lady, if nothing changes tell him that he won’t be able to continue seeing the kids unless she’s not there with them🤷🏻♀️
Does she get fall down drunk or does she just have a drink with a meal? I mean i have drinks with meals… I love having a beer or a fancy looking slushy drunk with my meal… I see no problem here unless shes fall down drunk.
If the kids don’t like the new girlfriend that much, they wouldn’t be going with your ex boyfriend that’s not even their dad. Especially if they are old enough to voice concerns about her drinking. Also, what do they consider too much drinking because that does matter. One or two drinks/beers at a meal? Or 5 or 6? Big difference. Also, if they don’t see them daily, they don’t know if she drinks all day or just at dinner.
She’s an adult and can drink if she wants to. If she’s not belligerent or extremely drunk in front of them, they gotta get over it or don’t go. They don’t HAVE to see this man and his girlfriend and you don’t have to allow it. If it’s an issue why do they keep going? Something doesn’t add up.
Get over the fact that your ex is with someone else. And stop using your kids as an excuse to bitch about his new partner.
Nothing… having a drink and being drunk are not the same…Is she drunk?
Wow she has a drink in front of children, I’m sure they’ll survive; hint They Just Dont Like Her - any excuse.
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I’d need a drink around somebody else’s kids too
You need to tell him before something stupid happens !!!
Limit time ,when she’s away
Keep them with you … …
Uhm… let me think about this 
How about… don’t allow your children to go there?!
Stop letting them go, duh😒
Don’t let them go over there. Boom, problem solved.
This is super childish.
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Time for an ultimatum. Kids come first
Not everyone wants fucking drunks around their kids. Like jeez…
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Stop sending them!!!
If you’re sending your kids off with drunkards , then there is your answer .
Maybe 
get over it 
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Theres definitely more to this….
How old are the kids? Any chance they’re fibbing about drinking?
Don’t let them go with him
Just bring it up to him
Hi not they daddy so 
bye
Are you tee totaller Christians, or something? Drinky bad bad?
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#mindyourbusiness #WellDontSendYOURkids case closed 
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Man the normalization of alcoholism in these comments
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kids needa mind their dang business! if they dont like it? DONT GO.
& yesssssssssss…i AM a drinker & i tell my kids this too 
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Wow using kids as pawns from ppl who are their grow the fuck uo blood means shit! No wonder why the world is full of drug addicts and criminals cuz half of u don’t know how to be a decent human being karma is a bitch though
Lulu Frances some people
I need an understanding on what “drinks alot” means
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Well, if they’re not biologically his, he legally doesn’t have any legal right to see them. And her drinking in front of the kids is a no go in my book.
He isn’t their biological father… Tell him to get his shit together or he won’t see them.
She likes to have a drink or gets drunk? 2 different things. If the first it’s none of their business.
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Why is it frowned upon to drink? She’s an adult, unless she’s getting wasted or making bad choices, alcohol is an adult privilege.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. https://answers.mamasuncut.com/t/my-kids-dislike-my-exes-new-girlfriend-due-to-the-fact-that-she-is-always-drinking-advice/10118
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I don’t really think kids have a say in what a grown woman drinks. Probably not the opinion you wanted to hear. Sorry
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Not biological father but should be the grown up in this. If he knew those kids, he’d notice they feel uncomfortable. Talk to him!
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I wouldn’t allow it but that’s how I parent. My exhusband is an alcoholic and became violent. My children were unsafe and I don’t allow alcohol around my children. One drink led to another. I know everybody is different but I don’t allow it. I would come unglued.
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How does this lady know that it upsets ur kids if they don’t say anything. She isn’t a mind reader. She can’t fix her “behavior” if she doesn’t know she is doing anything wrong.
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Noone business what a grown adult drinks with her meals or any other time for that matter as long as it doesn’t make her abusive to said kids.
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Is she stumbling down drunk or becoming verbally, physically or mentally abusive to any of the kids or her boyfriend? If she’s not then…not much you can really do about it. She’s a grown woman and drinking is legal.
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In the end it comes down to them being uncomfortable. If my kids told me they weren’t comfortable, I’d stop sending them until I found out more about it. If your ex wants to be petty and childish about you confronting him about it and asking questions in order to make your kids more comfortable being with him, then I’d stop allowing him to see them. Yes I get that shes an adult and can drink if she pleases but I’d find a way to make some compromise if possible
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Give him a choice either seeing your kids or her drinking will he has them and then if it keeps happening after you give the choice stop the kids going with him when she with him. Maybe they get the point then
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Kids don’t decide what other adults do, so if she isnt abusive what is the point of creating battles when there are none. Is awesome they still see one another 
.
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Well considering they are your children, I would let him know…and considering he would act childish when anything is said, I would reconsider whether I wanted him to be an influence in my kids lives.
Is she getting drunk with her meal, or just enjoying a glass of wine? Is she out of control, or abusive? If not, I don’t see the problem. Maybe the kids just don’t like her. It’s probably normal for kids to not like their father’s/father figure’s new girlfriend. If she’s getting drunk and/or abusive, then it absolutely needs to be addressed. But I don’t see why people have to control other people’s drinking, if they’re being responsible.
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As long as she isn’t putting those kids in danger or acting belligerent when she drinks, they need to stay in a kids place.
Having a drink or two with every meal doesn’t mean she’s an alcoholic and it’s your ex’s business who he dates, they absolutely don’t get a place in grown folks business. Again, as long as she isn’t putting them in danger or treating them terrible. Who cares.
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Stop sending your kids if it’s that big of a problem for you …I mean I always order a drink when I go out for dinner but I’m not an alcoholic…So, you should teach your children that adults do have drinks from time to time and it’s not a big deal unless she’s getting wasted and acting a fool in front of them…I mean he’s not their biological father and still has a relationship with them…that’s something to be grateful for…so how immature is he if he’s stepping up as dad for your children and y’all aren’t even together
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As a Parent your #1 Job is to protect your kids & if they’re telling you " Something is upsetting them …You remove them from the situation…I personally don’t Drink in front of children, but Apparently others think its okay ( Everyone has their own opinions) If Ex isn’t okay with the kids opinion or feelings on this subject " Then he doesn’t really care about your kids well being "
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Is there a reason he’s still hanging around your kids? Stop visiting.
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How does she act… If she has a drink, is not driving & behaves like a woman out with kids should… Then y’all have no say. She is not the parent out with them, she doesn’t have them by herself, she is having a meal out with her man, is a drink with lunch or dinner, what every person has, no. But some adults do & that is on them. And you have NO say as long as she conducts herself appropriately in front of your children 
. There are reasons to step in with the new… And then there is I just wanna be a B… Sounds like you’re the latter
They don’t have a say in what a grown woman drinks nor who your ex dates. Not their place or business as children with a limited worldview. Drinking alcohol with a meal doesn’t mean she has a drinking problem.
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I guess if she drinks and isn’t being mean or mistreating them I wouldn’t see a problem. I enjoy wine in front of my kids but don’t get trashed or anything.
That being said…if anyone voiced to me that it bothered them I would respect that. Especially if children said it bothered them…my mama heart would respectfully wait until after they went to bed.
I’m more appalled by the number of people that think it’s normal to drink alcohol daily. I agree it’s not a child’s business, but they are allowed to have feelings and if they feel uncomfortable then it is a problem.
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Teach your kids that they can speak their mind respectfully, but they do not have control in what others do. There are so many lessons in this…
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Do you have any I’ll will towards this woman? Or have you expressed how you feel about her towards your children that could’ve been negative? Because children are intuitive, and if they don’t like her genuinely after forming their own opinion on her then I would agree that she probably isn’t very nice. But if they were influenced to not like her then that’s a different story. I think the only plausible solution here would be to work on the only thing in your power ( which is you and your children ) and have an honest conversation with them. Your ex and his girlfriend no longer have anything to do with you. Unless she’s putting your children in danger it’s not your problem to deal with honestly.
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As long as she isn’t mistreating them, or driving them under the influence, she is grown and can drink if she wants. If you are that uncomfortable, since he isn’t the father, don’t send them 
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I read it 3 times & I’m still looking for the problem. Is she yelling, cursing, acting belligerent, abusing them? I mean anything other than being an adult who enjoys alcohol? This sounds like you’re making a big deal out of nothing
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Getting DRUNK all the time or having a DRINK all the time? 2 very different things and is it possible your distaste for her is clouding their judgement? A lot of times kids will "hate " who their parent is with to try to please their other parent which is very sad 
if she were getting drunk all the time around them I would just give him an ultimatum…he can see them alone or not at all, if it’s a matter of an ADULT relaxing and winding down you need to tell your children the truth about what qualifies as irresponsible drinking and get over it, I’m sorry 
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i think you need to stop coaching your kids to find a problem with their NOT bio dads gf.count yourself DAMN LUCKY that they have a dad figure.alot of kids dont!!!
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Mom of 3. I raise my kids, work a full time job, I go to school full time, and I bust my a*s to be able to take my kids out for a nice dinner. DAMN RIGHT if I go out, I’m going to get the glass of wine, EVERY SINGLE TIME!! I wouldn’t care what anyone thought. Not yours, or your kids business, I see 0 issues.
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Your kids sound like she needs to drink more 
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You sound bitter stop using those kids as your scapegoat if you just don’t like the new chick say that smdh kids needs to stay in child’s place n stay out grown folks business unless someone’s being put at risk. And how’s the real dad feel about all this messy shit smdh
Well you can either allow your children to be around them or not. If your kids are old enough to have an opinion about her drinking around them then they are definitely old enough to make the decision themselves to be around her. And maybe you should tell your kids to choose not to go and have them explain to him of why. He might not like it but it’s a situation that should be treated like adult conversation and if you think your kids should voice their opinion then go for it. But those are pretty much the only choices that lead to a solution.
What exactly are you asking for advice on though? Do you have a problem with it?
How old are the children?
If they don’t feel confident to have a chat about how they feel with the ex then perhaps you need to let him know.
Or… explain to the children that adults are allowed to have a few drinks.
They are children it’s not their concern what she’s drinking. As long as she’s not acting crazy who cares. If your children don’t like it and don’t want to be around it tell them not to go.
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They’re not his kids, do whatever the hell you want 🤷
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They aren’t his kids, you don’t have to send them to him.
Also, you can’t control another adults choices. If you don’t like it, keep your kid’s away from it
Could you maybe suggest she slow it done while your babies are their
Drinks with meals lol. Sounds petty and what your saying doesn’t sound like it’s coming from a child.
I think it depends…if she is getting shitfaced drunk, then yeah thats a problem. If she has drinks in front of them and acts normal, im sorry to say but that’s not your business. Personally, I dislike it when other parents act like alcohol is the devil and hide it from their children, or won’t let their kids around someone who is having a drink. Children need to be taught that there’s a healthy and mature way to drink alcohol. If you act like all alcohol is a huge deal and its bad if adults drink it, your children will also act accordingly. Im kind of wondering how your children know to equate alcohol equalling bad?
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It doesn’t sound like your kids have a problem it sounds like you have an issue controlling what other people do. Unless she is drinking and driving your kids home after that meal mind ya business if the kids really don’t like it they can chose not to go
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If he will act like a child I wouldn’t send my children with him. Especially considering you don’t legally have to. If he loved the kids he would put them first biologically or not. Cut their losses and move on.
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Unless abuse is going on I think this is a one sided complaint that involves coaching the kids. Unless they have a specific history of alcohol abuse leading to their own trauma from a parent or family member something doesn’t sound right here. This guy isn’t even the bio dad and has stepped up. If you are putting stuff in their ear to complain about shame on you. I have an 11 year old daughter and an 11 year old step daughter that would tell your kids right now to count their blessings have a father figure in their lives that stayed when the relationship with their mom didn’t pan out! Don’t be that parent that uses their kids as weapons and drama cheerleaders. It’s tacky!!
You can keep your kids away from him tf, he has no rights to them and he sounds like he doesnt need to be around them
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If she isn’t bothering anyone and acting out negatively I would say stop feeding negative crap to your child and leave him alone.
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If your kids don’t want to be around her then just say “no”. Your ex isn’t their biological father so aren’t legally obligated to make them be with him. I wouldn’t force my kids to be around someone they don’t want to be around and don’t feel comfortable around. Kids may not be able to tell adults what they can and cant do and drink but geeze people they are human and shouldn’t be forced to be around people who make them uncomfortable and who they don’t want to be around. You are their mother and should stand up for them and say no for them. Would you want to be forced to be around someone you didn’t want to?
Ask yourself: are these ppl driving my kids around after consuming alcohol? Are they having alcohol fueled ‘debates’? Are they paying more attention to their bottle of brew than the kids? If the answer is yes or maybe, keep your kids with you.
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they’re children. drinking alcohol every time they do out doesn’t mean she’s an alcoholic. i have a drink almost every time i go out, because it’s the only time i’ll drink. obviously probably a different situation, but kids aren’t equipped to know signs of alcoholism all they know is that she drinks when they’re with her. don’t ask your kids about it, ask the adults meaning your ex and his girlfriend.
Adults who are not driving can have an alcoholic beverage with dinner, why would anyone be comfortable with that. Sounds like the kids just don’t want him to have a gf to me.
What’s your point/problem? Neither You or your children have any say in what another adult drinks.
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As long as she’s not boozed up…
Brandy Haines Moreland agree with you. Never atop him from your kids.
Do nothing not your business
If you and your kids hate drinking that much, keep the kids at your place. There is no court order, so no reason they have to go there.
That’s a great reason.
A drink at meal times shouldn’t be an issue.
Getting smashed, yes. But not having a casual drink.
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No having a glass oor two of wine or a drink with dinner or having a drink or two on occasion is fine but drinking every time the children are near you is a red flag.
Drinking every day is a red flag, drinking enough that the children recognize it and are uncomfortable with it is a red flag.
People wanna act like drinking is no big deal, Drinking daily, excessively, is a big deal,
alcohol has ruined lives.
I grew up with alcoholic and addicted parents, kids see, here and know way more than you think.
If kids tell you their uncomfortable was something listen, then see if he would ask her not to drink around the children or see them without her. If they are importamt to him he will make them comfortable.
No we absolutely do not have a say in anyone else’s drinking but we do have to say in who and what is exposed to our children.
Is she driving them around? That’s the only time I would have an issue. It’s normal to have a drink with dinner
Why are they going with him if he isn’t the real dad
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I feel like too much information is missing from this for me to have an opinion. Does she only have a couple of drinks with her meal, is she the driver? Does she get drunk and show out? Or is it just that you don’t drink and the kids aren’t used to seeing it? ( my daughter thought only men drank until she was 8 years old because I never drank in front of her ) or do they just not like daddy’s new girlfriend?
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Or if they don’t want to visit don’t make them