Lol…for what?. If she don’t want to see you then move on. You have some serious control issues
Nope. You can meet her when the relationship becomes serious. You’re wanting more control than you should have. You don’t March every person in your life to his front door for his approval.
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That’s…really weird. Red flag city…is it possible that your ex is telling her a bunch of nasty stuff true or untrue? The fact she is wanting to meet your kids but not you is disturbing. She probably already posts your kids as “her kids” on her social media.
You are not wrong. He needs to address this.
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So I don’t think you really need to if you talk to your bd and you both are all about your kids and their happiness then I don’t think you need to I never met my bfs bm and her son is here all weekend and when his dad goes to work he even asks to stay longer. A kid will tell you if someone isn’t good to them.
Your not wrong but even if she was a hooker the cops or anyone can do anything about it unless you take him back to court but then you still have to have good witnesses especially if you have shared parenting I have been there if the school teacher had not volunteered to go to court to be a witness I still would not of gotten full custody .
Nope! My daughters father and I always met first before our child. The one time I “trusted him” the girl started beating my child. 3 years later he chose her instead of Our daughter.
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If she is ever going to be alone for any length of time during Dad’s time you can request but she is under no obligation to meet you. If she is never alone with them it’s Dad’s call. When you ex introduces your child to 73 live in girl friends in 2 years then worry! Yep happened to me and my oldest…he got sick of “Dad’s new girlfriend” Every time he saw Dad.
Meeting her is not your business!
That’s wat happens wen you get divorced 
you lose control over half your kids lives . Scary game you are playing with their little lives . Make better choices people
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I feel like as long as your kid likes them that’s all that matters. What are you going to do if you meet her and don’t like her? Regardless on your feelings the dad gets to make his decision in his time. Its hard but honestly my husband has another kid and honestly I would’ve been happy not to meet his ex
Very weird she’s obviously immature
She probably expects drama, which should be a red flag to him!
your job is to protect your kids. If she’s over there and you aren’t allowed to meet her, your kids simply don’t go. Period. Don’t let nobody around your kids until you know them.
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I’ve not met my sons dads girlfriend, they’ve been together 4 months, I’d happily meet her but I don’t feel like I need to…
I wouldn’t say you are wrong but if there’s not been any issues then yes you’re over thinking xx
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No way… she sounds psychotic already
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Hell no!!! This is just showing her gross immaturity… no woman wouldn’t want to let the mother of their boyfriends kids know that the kids are safe around her and she wants to get along. If a woman refused to meet but wanted to be around my kids she wouldnt be around my kids.
Tell him that unless she meets you she isn’t allowed around your children period
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Legally you don’t have any right to demand that. Maybe she’s not comfortable, maybe she’s nervous but he’s got rights to introduce his children to whomever he sees fit. You have absolutely no standing.
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Sounds like she either does not Like your children. OR she is playing pretend ‘happy family’ and meeting their mother would break the allusion that she is ‘mommy’.
How old are your children. Do they seem to like her? What do they call her?
NTA. If you don’t meet me you don’t get to be around my child 
If you trust him as their father then you should trust his judgment about who he brings around the children. I have two step kids, two different bio moms and neither insisted on meeting me. I’ve been in my relationship almost 5 years now and one of them I’ve only seen briefly in person once 
. The other one we’ve seen each other a lot over the years.
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You are wrong. Father’s time with children is none of your business.
Major red flags that she doesn’t wanna meet. Sounds like he’s said some crap or she’s just trying to avoid meeting you for no reason. Either way don’t let your kids go till you meet. No strangers around your kids period.
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He must have talked alot of $h!t about you and made he scared.
Im with my childrens father. BUT if we was to spilt up and we move on and he gets a new gf she WONT be around my kids til i do my research on her and her whole @$$ family 
. But it would also be the same if i brought a man around my kids ima do a full on FBI research on him as well before he can be around my kids. And he would definitely be meeting their father. I would tell him you want to see your kids bring her over will have lunch in the park let the kids play.
Shes not obligated to meet you. He is the father and can decide who his kids are around when not with you and vice versa.
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All you females laughing at her are probably the same bum chicks that play the same games when they get with a man with kids smh. Girl you aren’t wrong those are your babies and you have every right to meet who is going to be around them.
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She doesn’t have to meet you, She maybey very uncomfortable
It’s not your business to know her you just have to hope he has good judgement before allowing the kids to meet her and hope she’s not an in and out
All the women saying she doesn’t have to meet her, So y’all just letting who ever around yalls kids? Yall the problem. There are wayy to many ppl killing kids and hurting them f thats. That woman had every right to meet the gf and if the gf doesn’t want to meet momma then oh well guess you dint want to see your kids
You baby mamas need a reality check. The new GF has nothing to do with you and its NOT your place to try and get into their lives. Thats your exes responsibility to ensure the person he chooses is okay with the kids when they are with him, not yours. You chose to have kids with the man and if you cannot trust his judgment then take it to court and prove he is incompetent. His girlfriend has nothing to do with you and YOU have nothing to do with her. Focus on your own home and get on with your life. His life has nothing do with you anymore. If you’re not happy about that, remember you chose to have kids with this man. His girlfriend is his responsibility not yours. Move around or get a lawyer and stop trying to be nosey using the kids as leverage.
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My ex is now remarried with a child to a woman he’s been with for 6 yrs. We have 2 boys together. They are now 10 and 7. I’ve never met her. I am not in control of who my ex is with or who he has around the kids. And I happily accept he also has no control over my life not just in that area but in every area. Why the need to meet. The face you are shown won’t be her real face if she is a bad person. You’ll know all you need to know through the feedback your kids will give you on if time with dad was great or not. Build a good relationship with your kids and they will naturally tell you if they are happy there without being asked
She doesn’t want to meet you because of exactly this! You need to back off. Those are equally HIS children and he gets to make the same call as you, about who he can bring around his children. You aren’t entitled to control and micromanage his life and parenting time. This screams baby mama drama. I wouldn’t meet you either. You are the red flag in the scenario.
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I have met the girlfriend of my children’s father we have a great co parenting relationship and he is still invited to family functions even though I have been with my fiancé for 5 years now she was invited to my Nana’s birthday party. 5 years in and I haven’t met my fiancés babymother and with the way she behaves and treats her kids I never will.
Girl u only want that because of control. You have no say in that man’s life or that girls life. Your kids are both urs and you had them with him so clearly u feel he’s a good father. Clearly he should be able to discern whether or not she is decent enough to be around his kids. If you have a problem with it then take him to court and see what the judge says to u. Lol girl they will give that man custody of them kids if you go in there saying “I need to meet her if she’s gonna be around my kids” the court will laugh at u. I sent my son to live with his dad at his broads house when he was 6! I never met her and did not want to meet her. I trust his dad to look out for his child and taught my son how to make sure to tell his dad and me if she does anything to him and I even told my son to punch her right her fkn nose if she ever touches my him! Yup sure did. Lol I also let it be known that if at anytime I feel something isn’t right or my son tells me something and I address it with his dad and nothing is done then I will have to pull up and knock her mufuccen head off. I will go to jail behind my kids. Not a problem. I have been arrested and booked and bailed out behind my other kids and for sure won’t stop now. I do not care about my son being over there lol. More free time of peace for me for once in my life. I have been a hard working single mom since I was 19. I’m in menopause developed arthritis from my career and fibromyalgia, from stored trauma I been through since childhood and tired of people in general lol I’ve been a mom for 27 yrs and my son is the baby he’s 10. I said fk it I’m tired he can go over there and tear her shit up (he has adhd and impulsive behavior issues. See when u want to control a part of that man still it shows in things like this. Saying u have to meet her lol. That’s their life and business. Go get u a life and sum business and let that man be a father. You should trust his judgement on he he has around ur kid…he picked u to have them with right…what makes you think he would put his kids in danger…jus sayin.
Bs if she is sleeping in the same dam house as your kids the idiot should have the respect of introducing you! Just do research on her ass how childish doesn’t mean you want to be besties this is for the kids both are idiots and deserve each other! Obviously no care for the children I raiding them right whatever issues you a have are nothing to do with thd children.
It’s different in all different countries so I’m just telling my experience with this situation, I was given day to day care and full custody of my 3 children and the father was allowed day time visitation. When he got a new gf a few days not even a week after me and the kids moved out he expected it to be ok that she be around around kids. But I refused to let her until I had met her and sussed her out. He kept saying she didnt want to meet me ect. All excuses but blamed me in a way. Turned out he didn’t want us to ladies to meet because he was afraid he couldn’t control the situation anymore if we started talking. I ended up trusting her more them him in the end. She was great with the kids. But I had a right to meet her and I had full custody so I was able to make this request and I was able to keep the kids away until he fulfilled this request. But again my situation and country will be different on how this stuff works.
Morally and respectfully he should have already introduced you guys.
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You don’t need a reason. If this is something you feel strongly about l, than make It happen. Follow your instincts. We (fb friends) don’t feel what your feeling in the moment. I think you should stand your ground if you feel the way you do
I met my step childrens mother a year after being with their dad. Was awesome, we were communicating and everything was good untill we got married and then she turnt sour.
Unfortunately whether you like it or not it’s really none of your business. Unless your child is in harms way or something happened to the child nothing of what your ex does with y’all’s children is your business.
I am sure there are plenty of people you have your kids around their dad don’t know…
I get the sentiment and wanting to know who’s around your kids but plenty of the time if the gf is not already welcoming to meeting and stuff they prob aren’t someone you want to know anyway
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I do believe that in court a judge will expect that you are informed and have a right to meet each other’s new partners if your children will be interacting with them on a consistent basis, you and your husband have a right to know who and what your children are being exposed too. So if you can’t get any cooperation then just ask for a hearing on it.
It’s not about you or him. It’s about the kids. It’s called co-parenting. Of course you should meet. You have every right to know everyone in your child’s life. She knew he was a package deal. That package includes you since you are the mother of his children. Any woman/man who cannot get along with the ex for the kids sake should not even be an option.
Michael Jones you know how I feel about this 
this is a long list of the reasons by the time we got together I was like no thank you I will gladly take my time before I meet your ex lol
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If she’s going to be around your children unattended, I completely agree that you should be meeting her.
It should always be this way for anyone that has access with children. Their father is not the only parent.
He should meet anyone you plan on having around the children as well.
The girlfriend has to understand that you are a part of the children’s lives. Her refusal to meet seems petty.
I would suggest you offer to meet up during a drop off or pickup of the kids. That way it’s quick and easy.
If after you made a few offers to meet and she still won’t meet you, then document your children’s behavior.
Are they in good spirits when they know she’s going to be at their dad’s house? Have they had sleep issues when they returned from dad’s? Are there more cuts, bruises, injuries or melt downs?
Not to cause stress but the days we live in, everyone needs to be more wary with unknown people, that will be caring for your children.
Statistically children are abused more by people they know, than by strangers.
Do not compromise on this and do not be naive. Trust your mom instincts. I haven’t been in this situation; however, there were a couple of rocky times early in our 34 year marriage where we had to have a conversation about others potentially being in our children’s lives should we end the marriage. We made an agreement that neither parent would allow gf/bf around our children AT ALL until the relationship was serious and may lead to marriage. Once that might be on the horizon, then we both agreed the other parent gets to meet the gf/bf first and then the parent with the gf/bf has to allow the other parent to be present a minimum of three times at first, longer if there is an issue that presents a problem.
Might seem a bit extreme, but
read the news nowadays and count how many kids have been exploited/abused/murdered by someone an ex-spouse is involved with.
I say if you can do something proactive to prevent that, do it no matter how angry it makes the other parent. They’ll get over it.
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I get it in some aspects.
As a parent you fear for yours children’s safety and well being. You also have to trust that -the person you had children with- will make safe choices concerning your babies, and prioritize their wellbeing over everyone else even you and themselves. You also have to consider reasons why she may not want to meet with you. There are 2 sides to every story and if parents are not able to co parent and put children first, meeting a person as a romantic interest in their other parent’s life could just case more drama to the situation. This person could also not see a need at this time to meet you based on them having no say over what does or doesn’t happen with the children/ the relationship isn’t serious enough at this time. Possible also that they do not have their own children and don’t understand the vitality of being on the same team and raising children together. Jealousy it’s self can ruin relationships on both sides. every parent wants to know that someone in their child’s lives will protect them as their own. The best thing for everyone would be to be patient… you don’t know if this person will become a step parent or not. Forcing your self into her life will cause bad blood. Make sure you have good intentions, and check your self if you don’t. Listen to your children their thoughts and feeling matter more than anyone else’s and make sure their other parent is doing the same. Don’t traumatize the children or try to brainwash them, you will only make your children resent you.
In life you must not hold one to any expectations to prevent yourself from being disappointed. Do NOT expect for people to hold the same values/opinions as yourself. Some people just aren’t built the same
My husband and I are together, but if we were to ever separate, I would never allow my kids around someone without meeting them myself, and the relationship would have to be serious (at least 1 year). You aren’t wrong for seeing red flags.
Girlfriend is afraid baby daddy still has feelings for you. She doesn’t want you around him, afraid that he will remember the good times.
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Unfortunately this is out of your control. He is an adult and the father. You cannot dictate what he does or how he does it during his parenting time.
do you have a morality clause in your agreement that she can’t spend the night when kids are there?
Who care, it’s ur ex-husband job to make sure his kids are safe. It seems like he trusts her,
If you can try to “come at her” as an equal. If she’s going to be long term she’s going to want to feel important.
As a mom myself, I feel when I am reading your post you’re just wanting to size her up and practically put her in her place, and let her know she’s just another new girlfriend.
I think that’s just setting foundation of conflict and battles.
Remember, it’s okay to want to meet anyone your children are spending time with but if you’re going to want any respect in return I would recommend bringing it down a notch.
I do 50/50 with my ex. We both are married.
We don’t always get along but I feel because I tried my best to come at her as an equal it helped.
But yes, ultimately I am her mom and I will 100% advocate for my child and stand up for her in the longterm.
I had a friend in this situation. It turned out the problem was the ex-husband not wanting them to meet.
You’re not wrong, you need to tell the dad if he wants kids to be around his GF, she needs to meet you, period.
You can feel the way you want but you are not entitled to me anyone their father has a relationship with…his time is his time same goes for you…would it be nice to meet the Girlfriend of course…but he doesn’t have too let you meet anyone.
When care is Split, you have to trust the other parent to do right by their child in this way. This 100 percent involves them getting to dictate who they have around their child too. I know you’d like to “meet her” for your own piece of mind, but they have their own lives and saying no I don’t want to meet you is valid too.
You trusted him enough to have children with…trust him to have also picked a decent percent to be his girlfriend. Listen to the kids. If they’re having a good time and enjoy her company, then be content. You don’t get to choose. She may not be ready yet; and would like to be more confident in her and his relationship, first. Let her have time with the kids. She’ll probably come around and decide to meet you.
Its unconventional ( why wouldn’t they want to know you and coparent together etc etc) and maybe even a little unhealthy, but it’s valid. It’s their choice.
I brought this issue up in court, and the answer was…Well they (Nrp) don’t know who your kids are around when they aren’t with them. I was livid, I was like I go everywhere with my kids, they said that I have to trust the nrp’s judgement on the matter as that’s what the nrp has to do when the kids are with me. The nrp’s partner in my case has never met me, they even have an 18 month old child together, but still not willing to meet.
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and he has a 7 year old son that I’ve been around my times and babysat while my bf was at work I only just met her a week ago after her not wanting to meet me . It’s all in time
You’re not wrong- who would want a stranger around their child daily? I met my ex’s gf the other day and I like her more than him 
Yeah, just show up, surprise meeting. That’s only polite. Unless she’s not the kinda girl you want co parenting.
That’s up to dad if he wants you to meet her or not. You can’t ready say who can or can’t be around the kid’s for no reason other then she won’t meet you. To controlling let it go.
Are they old enough to tell you if she’s not kind to them? No? Then it’s kinda your business. Yes? Leave it alone until they tell you something that is worth worrying about.
She’s just not ready to meet you.
First and foremost, the kids should see a good co-parenting relationship. If she can’t meet you and show the kids respect for their mother or help to demonstrate that she will help have a good co-parenting relationship… she doesn’t need to be around the kids.
I could care less if my ex has a gf or wife etc…but I’ll be danged if at least know who she is if she gonna be round my kids🤷♀️ to much bad out there now a days…
Unless it is stated in court order that you must meet any significant other before the children do then it is nice you would offer that to him on youe part but he isn’t legally required. I understand your fear as a step mom with custody and bio mom I been through it but at the end of the day pushing it if it isn’t in a court order may just make him fat out refuse. You can offer to get coffee with her or offer to meet up for exchange and say hi but unless stated in your court order I would leave it alone. Especially if he takes you back to court if he said no and you keep pushing it could look controlling
She has no obligation to meet you. They are his kids as well and if you trust him enough with your kids, you need to trust him enough to make smart choices.
No hun. You have every right to meet and get to know who is around your children and if they can’t respect that then the daddy not around the children
It’s got nothing to do with you, his choice, not yours.
As long as my kids are treated properly and not mistreated in any way idc 
now if it’s an issue we’re definitely meeting
Maybe he told her some bad things about you. I won’t ever wanna have a sit down with my Hubbys baby momma she just starts drama. But probably gunna get hate for this…. I trust my babydaddy to care for his kids. What he does with them on his time isn’t my business and what I do on my time is mine business. As long as the children are feed and cared for I’m happy. I don’t make issues nor get in his business. Now that being said if something happened to my babies he knows I’m coming for blood 
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Okay… This talk about you have no rights when he the ex has your children… This world is crazy whether it’s a morality clause or has never been talked about the ex should require it just for the safety of his own children… everything should be on the table what’s the big deal if there’s nothing to hide and if it’s out in the open everybody’s happier including the kids… One would never let their children go with strangers right? This is the same thing… Tell the ex how you feel everybody have a meet and greet and move on
She’s probably just an immature person that you don’t want to meet. I’m not letting my kids dad get them wrapped up in his girlfriends garbage. Do what you want.
I refuse to meet the baby mommas cuz from past experience as soon as they see me is when the problems starts so I’d rather not deal with it. The last time I met my ex husbands BM she insisted in meeting me and when she did she made a scene couldn’t even properly introduce herself to me looked at me up and down and said I needed to drug tested if I wanted to be around her daughter and then years later after divorce my first bf his BM said I was ugly af and said I was giving her a mean look and didn’t want me around her kids like mam don’t blame my resting beauty face.