Talk to grandma about the situation and your feelings about it all.
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Grandparents bidding things are a huge RED flag! Grandparents shouldn’t be hiding shit. I would tell their parents if it was my kids, kid! Even if I knew it would mean my kid maybe mad at me yell at me or even scream at me. My kid would eventually forgive me and be understanding. If you lie you get your grandchildren taken away forever!!!
This is why i go with my kids every time they are around water. I want to make sure they have their life jackets on and no one ignores them while they are in the water. At least the grandparents sound like they were watching the whole time and the child was removed from the pool as soon as started struggling.
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Why’d you help the kid finish his story? I don’t think it was that bad if she didn’t jump in the water. What you should talk to the grandparents about is not teaching them to keep secrets from you. But you don’t have to over react because if that’s the case. You’re the mother. You’re the one that left them under someonelses supervision when watching over them is your responsibility. Not their grandparents. And yes. Maybe you shouldn’t let the grandparents watch over them anymore.
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Listen to your gut mama, go with what feels right for you and your family. I’d have a family meeting with the grandparents and both you and your partner until everything is cleared up because it’s clearly very important to you and I think you brought up so many good points that need to be brought to the attention of the ones watching your children. Anything regarding your children’s safety is major! I don’t think you’re overreacting also secrets like this are not okay. The time of the event is irrelevant. You got this mama!
Sounds like your kids are making a bigger deal of it than it was. And you are totally overreacting.
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NO ONE should ever ask your child to keep something from you!
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Kids can be either be really really honest or tell lies or exaggerate. Please talk to grandparents before deciding what do to.
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Teaching your children to lie to you is NEVER OK! That’s a deal breaker. I would simply tell them they can’t have the kids alone anymore because of this. This is a VERY BIG DEAL!
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You are not overreacting. They should have told you what happened and they definitely should NOT be telling your children to keep things from you.
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I think you should talk with the grandparents. Kids don’t always have the best memory especially after a year. As for bike riding. She knows how to stop.
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You don’t ever tell a child to keep something from their parents. That’s enough to say, no, you aren’t overreacting.
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No, they should have told you
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This is why my kids don’t swim without me, they get mad but I have a fear of drowning as my brother tried to drown me when I was little and dry drowning scares the crap out of me. 
I would tell Grandma that you very hurt and upset that you weren’t told. Dry drowning is real and you should have been told so you could keep an eye on him. Also I wouldn’t let them swim without you present anymore. Also if it’s been a while their memories may not be 100% accurate maybe grandma was drying off but when she realized he went back in she dropped the towel and went
back in…… Even my 13 year old eggagerates stories. You won’t know until you talk to grandma but I still wouldn’t let them swim without you
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Thats a huge no no in my book
There wouldn’t be any unsupervised visits for a while if it were my family. The fact that she told your kids not to tell you says it all for me. You don’t tell my kids to lie to me, and you don’t lie to me about my kids. I’d be so upset with the grandma for her behavior. I wouldn’t be upset that he jumped back in, kids do things like that which is why we supervise. But the grandma was completely out of line and needs to know. I’d have a conversation with her and let her know she won’t be taking the kids until you feel you can trust her again. Honesty is a big deal for me and if I have to worry that any caregiver is lying about their time with my kids it’s a no-go for me.
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You have the kids side of the story now hear the grandma side and go from
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No telling how bad the incident was, I saved 2 siblings from drowning. One wasn’t so bad, she was fine and I gave her cpr. My younger brother, I got out and gave cpr to but he had to go get water pumped out of his lungs. We have no idea how long he was under water. My brothers were outside playing and he fell into the pool and my other brother came to get me, had he wouldn’t of told me we wouldn’t of known until my mom was done getting ready for church.
My son had an incident at a family member’s house and I was within a reasonable distance from him but he still went under and I’m in shock and freaking out and everyone else is just calm and I’m like I don’t care if you’re nurses, dry drowning and drowning in general is a serious concern.
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grandparents were wrong but your son is alright and now it is hurting you kind of late in the game let it go before it causes more damage. I went through my son almost drowning on a Church trip and Know it is devestating news but since my boy was alright why punish us all due to a grudge.
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I would feel exactly how you feel after my child/ children telling me that story.
However as young as they are & the fact that it was a year ago, and kids do exaggerate and may not remember everything correctly, I think it is only fair to present the grandma/grandparents with everything that the kids told you and give them a chance to respond with their version, and then take all the information from both sides and make a decision from there! Hope this helps.
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Let me guess, in-laws, right? I DO TELL my daughter everything that happens when I have my granddaughter. In fact I usually overreact‼️
I don’t mean to be rude or insensitive but you’re really over reacting here. Your kids weren’t told to lie they were asked not to tell. Your child fell in a pool and pulled out. He didn’t need cpr and was not unconscious, so no fear of secondary drowning. The way you think even mentioning grooming it is obviously on your mind. Is it any wonder they didn’t tell you. A scraped knee would become they almost bled to death. I really feel for these grandparents.
How tf could that encourage pedophile behavior? Poor grandma. Poor kids.
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I think everyone involved in this situation is wrong here.
I feel like your reaction in mentioning phedophilia is completely over the top. I also feel like you led the conversation & likely aren’t getting a full picture of what actually transpired. You’re pregnant so I’m kind of dismissing the walking around crying because I think when we’re pg we cry about anything and everything.
I feel like you should have been told - grandma was wrong. Not even because of secondary drowning but because it’s the right thing to do.
I feel like if grandma or any other adult in sight didn’t jump in to save him, he wasn’t drowning. The fact that she got in slowly kind of supports that. You led the statement to make it sound like it was a volatile situation when it could have been nothing more than disobedience and that’s why they said not to mention it.
Your son didn’t tell you because he didn’t want to get in trouble for not listening and jumping in the pool again after he was told not to.
I think this warrants a talk with hubby and grandmom, when everyone is able to talk without dramatics and be resolved. If they have your kids all the time and the kids are happy it’s not worth ruining a relationship.
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I would be upset too. It’s their responsibility to share things that happen while they have your children. I’d be super upset.
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They should’ve told you right then n there n let you you know 
that the child was okay afterwards n hard feelings afterwards.
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I would be upset to. That just makes you question everything with them. There would be zero trust if it were me.
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Safe adults don’t ask kids to keep secrets…that’s what I tell my kids.
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It’s a good thing your daughter and son spoke up and talked about the incident. I would break my trust too, especially knowing the children were told not to say anything to mommy or daddy about it. That’s very wrong. Somehow someway the topic needs to be brought up between you and the grandparents, with your husband present too. Feelings are feelings, you’re feeling this way for a reason. I’m sure it wasn’t meant to be anything blown out of context, but it was still said and that’s not a good thing to teach a child. Lying to the parents is wrong, keeping secrets is wrong.
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Nobody has the right to tell your children to hide or keep secrets from their parents!
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This is why I have taught my children the difference between a secret and a supirse we don’t keep secrets at all. we do keep surprises. I have told them anyone who tells you to keep a secret you can tell mum or dad or a trusting adult that they trust if they can’t tell us. Sometimes they can’t talk to parents about things but they need to have a trusting adult they can talk to so they can work out if its a bad secret or good secret.
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Am i missing something here. If the child was in danger i don’t think grandma would have taken the steps to get in the pool and dry herself. I believe she would have jumped in to get him.
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Same thing happened to my son when he was with his real moms dad. My son said he drowned and almost died when he was around 6 years of age. He’s now 26 and he just told us about it. We were pissed.
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I’d snap. Not okay. I’d confronthe ggrandmat
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On one hand your kid falling in the pool for a second in a controlled environment like that probably isn’t going to die. More over, dry drowning doesn’t just sporadically happen hours later, symptoms start right away.
On the other, being told to hide it makes no sense. Kids get out of adults line of sight all the time. They’re professionals at it. An accident where no one got hurt isn’t something to panic about, and definitely isn’t worth hiding.
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That sucks leaving that kind of guilt on a kid to keep a secret like that. Your daughter is so poor.
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I would be very upset
Keep your kids home and you watch them. That could have happened on anyones watch. They shouldn’t have kept it from you but nothing happened. Talk to your mom and tell her not to keep secrets from you about the kids.
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This is why I always talk about people and their private islands. Why so many kids these days end up emotionally detached by their teens. We lock these kids up and then run off to work. Expect them to raise themselves.
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I’d be f*****g furious ! Safe adults don’t ask kids to keep secrets in any situation!
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Its the past, if you hadn’t been told you would be none the wiser. Making a big deal out of it now wont change or help anything.
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I’d be pissed more about the telling the kids it’s their little secret and not to tell you. That should NEVER be a thing!
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If grandma is telling the kids to lie then it definitely means that the child was at risk to some degree or else why cover it up or lie for that matter
And a child should never be told to keep secrets from there parents
How do you think pedophiles acting think that is truly on their level as parents we must protect our children even from our own parents for God bless you I will keep you in my prayers
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It would piss me me off y would they tell them to keep it a secret makes me wonder what else they know. I wouldn’t let them them back without someone else there
No you’re definitely not over reacting. That’s crazy that any grandparent would tell those babies to lie to you. Grandparents should NEVER do that. I wouldn’t want them to take my kids anymore either.
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Your parents should have told you
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I’d never be sending my child with them again. As the parent you should have been informed of something like that. Not only medically something could have went wrong but it gotta be traumatic for the kids.
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They shouldn’t have told them to keep that secret ,but… Alright KAREN… (To me it could encourage pedophile behavior.) SERIOUSLY?!
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I would have gone off on my parents if something dangerous like that ever happened. I’d say cut them off completely. They’re obviously going to tell your kids to lie again about something like this. Keep your kids away from them.
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Why would this encourage
" Pedophile " behavior…
I’d delete that part of I was you…just makes the entire post sound ridiculous…if that wasn’t in there…
I’d confront them immediately…tell them exactly how your feeling…and never leave your kids alone in their care again…they can see them while under your supervision…
That would make me crazy mad…and I would of called them out instantly…that definitely needs to be done now !!!
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You, your husband and the grandparents need to talk it out once you and your husband have gone through the myriad of emotions. Be honest with this conversation and let them know your children’s safety is paramount.
Definitely broken trust. I would decline any offers to take your children and when they finally start asking why you aren’t sending them, you can calmly let them know and they can feel like shit about the decision they made to lie to you and have your children lie to you. This is blatant disrespect for you and your husband as parents and humans in general. They need a reality check. My kid wouldn’t return to a babysitter who did this why should grandparents be any different? They owe you MORE than this.
Some say it’s done it’s over but the concern is even higher now bc of the “lie” and telling the kids to keep that lie in their young minds and I’m sure it was bothering them both keeping it and knowing it every time everyone was together at grandma’s house…first and foremost it was irresponsible to ask the kids to lie but also not to feel comfortable enough to let you know what happened themselves - that is what throws a red flag for me. I would be calm when speaking to them and yes I would approach this and let them know that you now know and that you would highly appreciate total honestly from everyone when it comes to the children and their well being. Do not punish your children for the faults of the gr.parents bc I’m sure they love spending time with them and to take that away is wrong on all levels. Don’t do it in front of the kids either bc they are going to feel bad enough for their gr.parents bc they kinda tattled them out so go easy get their side of the story and forgive and be one big happy family again they won’t always be here for your kids and you to love and make memories with and it seems as if this was just the one occurrence and by the love of God your child is good and healthy.
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My kids would never be left alone with them EVER again. I’d have a talk with my kids about arriving else You might know that they were told not say anything about. Find out how your son is dealing with that incident mentally too. I almost drowned when I was younger and it affects me too this day and was told not to talk about it…
They should of let u know because of secondary drowning.
So they were 6.5 and 5 recalling a story from a year ago? 
I would take it with a gain of salt.