Nah there’s way too much missing for this scenario. It sounds like your son gave you the story. You added a whole extra scenario and bc they’re kids he agreed with you. It really could’ve been what your son said before you gave them the extras. I think you should talk to the adult that was there. Any time people go swimming dry drowning in can occur. Idk if grandma said don’t tell anyone or not. Unfortunately kids are not reliable witnesses.
If you can’t trust them then that’s it you can’t trust them. Also sounds like kiddos need some swimming lessons and some hard rules about water play.
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Just thank God he is fine but still address it for future visits.
No you are absolutely in the right, my hubby and myself have kept our children away from their grandparents permanently for safety reasons and amongst those are some very serious lies and they will never be allowed to be in their lives again. It was a sad decision but it was a no brainer to think about our childrens safety whether they are grandparents or not. I do think you and your husband should talk with them first and go from there.
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to be honest, you could very well be over reacting… you may not be, but before you go burning house down (its an expression) talk to them. It could be a case of lack of supervision or it could be a case of everyone was out of the pool, drying off and your son decide to turn around and just dive back in, your mum could see him struggling and she climbed in to help. If it were serious, i imagine she wouldnt have casually used the stairs etc and the “dont tell your mum” thing… talk to them.
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I would feel exactly the same as you! You don’t tell kids to keep secrets from their parents (yes, that is how some pedos start) and you DEFINITELY tell the parents of any and all incidents while their children in your care. It doesn’t matter if he was struggling or drowning, you should’ve been told that day!!
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They MOST LIKELY didnt want to upset you with something that had a good out come.
DO NOT restrict regluar acceess to your kids grandparents. I can not STRESS how IMPORTANT my grandparents were to me.
You keep say how GOOD they are BUT…
You can not protect from everything. Take big picture look at this. If you expect protection people will try to be perfect in your eyes.
CALMLY say your piece about it and move on and allow you children to ENJOY their grandparents WHILE they have them.
There should not be secrets like this!! Wow. I’m so sorry you found out a year later. My siblings and I have been telling our mom about sneaky things we did when we were younger and mom is like “you didn’t tell me then don’t tell me now” but my goodness it was things like skipping school, not any of us needing saved from accidents like drowning or anything dangerous.
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I think you are over-reacting or just hormonal. Your job as a parent was to ensure that your children know to not keep secrets from you, so if that was done, then they would have said something since last year. What would have been your reaction if you was told last year?They are kids who learn through experiences and barely listen to any thing you tell them. Anything can happen when supervising kids, so if you don’t trust anyone to keep your children, watch them yourself.
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Same thing just happened to me and my mom made my oldest rescue the baby Bc she,” didn’t want to get all her clothes wet”. Then my kids were told “not to tell mommy Bc I’ll get in trouble” thankfully my baby told me right when she saw me. Then I had to ask my oldest exactly what happened and she was scared to tell me. It’s an adult’s job to watch the kids, not the other siblings. There’s sucha thing as drowning internally later from too much water in the lungs. I forget what it’s exactly called.
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This reminds me of the time my sons grandparents lost him in the mall. They did tell me about and because they told me I felt as though I could trust them with him. (He was honestly a slippery little guy at 2-4 and was constantly running off. So I wasn’t mad just concerned 
)
I’m sorry that they did not tell you about this situation. I feel like if they had told you, it would have helped trust build. Instead the opposite has happened.
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Literally would never have them go there again… yes accidents can happen but them nit telling you is an absolute violation of trust and put your child in serious danger
Talk to them about it before jumping to any conclusions. Don’t go at them guns blazing, but be civil and explain your feelings and need for the truth. Kids can misinterpret things easily. My daughter once said, “Pawpaw sleeps naked all the time!” But after freaking out a bit talking to her more we realized she thought that just not wearing a shirt meant he was naked. 
Approach them and give them a chance to explain. Grandparents that want to be there for your kids are golden, but also, human.
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They’d be seeing the wrong side of me for sure! You can’t have someone telling your children to lie to you regardless of the circumstances! The fact your child was in danger makes it much worse in my opinion there’s no way you can’t speak to them about this.
It was wrong to cover it up and not tell you. Absolutely. Your son is fine and they were there and were able to get him out without him being hurt. They aren’t perfect, but clearly love their grandkids. Moving forward, I would have a conversation with them, respectfully but direct, without the kids around, explaining your disappointment, especially about encouraging the kids to lie and keep secrets. Let them know that they need to be upfront, because it’s about teaching the kids to be honest with you, as well as safety. I would use this as a warning, and tell them not to let it happen again. You know the kids love spending time with them, and you want to be able to trust them. Tell them that. They sound otherwise like loving grandparents, and your kids want and need them, and you will need them, too. If it happens again, that’s a different story.
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It was wrong to cover it up and not tell you. Absolutely. Your son is fine and they were there and were able to get him out without him being hurt. They aren’t perfect, but clearly love their grandkids. Moving forward, I would have a conversation with them, respectfully but direct, without the kids around, explaining your disappointment, especially about encouraging the kids to lie and keep secrets. Let them know that they need to be upfront, because it’s about teaching the kids to be honest with you, as well as safety. I would use this as a warning, and tell them not to let it happen again. You know the kids love spending time with them, and you want to be able to trust them. Tell them that. They sound otherwise like loving grandparents, and your kids want and need them, and you will need them, too. If it happens again, that’s a different story.
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They should have told you, but telling them not to tell is a little different than telling them to lie.
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Sometimes grandparents (depending on their ages) didn’t have to worry about alllll the stuff that be an issue today.
I mean there’s the normal accidents, mishaps etc and they just go through them and move on. When I think back on how my grandparents allowed me and my sister and cousins (all girls 12-15) to hop on 2 city busses to go downtown in a very large city in Mexico alone. Is crazy to me. Like, I’m glad I got to experience that, but I’m never allowing my kids thar type of freedom sadly. Times are very different now and so the risks and dangers are higher these days.
Things are going to happen. Including accidents too. I’ve told all my 5 children (28-15) that if they’ll have a problem with my very unstructured, fun -first type if energy then to keep their own kids. Because I’m not about to be a 2nd parent to them. I’m there for moral support and fun.
I don’t know how many times I almost “drowned”, or got lost, or lost something, or fell down, or ate too much of something and got sick, or whatever whatever.
They’re kids! Things happen. Thankfully he was ok. But his account of the situation can be told in part, or with extra emphasis, and here you are thinking the grandparents are scheming and plotting.
Maybe they already assumed you’d freak out. Which you did. Maybe they already knew that your first thought is too remove them from their care. Which you just said you would do.
Maybe you’re super sensitive because you are pregnant and we tend to jump into hyper mamma bear mode.
Lots of maybes here. But a for certain is to NEVER RESTRICT THOSE THAT LOVE YOUR CHILDREN from their lives. Especially grandparents.
I’m not ok with not telling you, then asking the kids to not tell you.
But, that’s really just on you. Your kids didn’t feel confident to share that with you. I mean if it was THAT traumatic, don’t you think they would have told y’all?
Maybe because it wasn’t all that serious. I mean seriously he could’ve just buckled under and all she had to do was pull him up. Lol…and you’re over here having him “drowning” then “dry drowning”, then needing round the click vigilant care. Girl…relax. As long as they are provided genuine love, care and attention they are fine. They’re gonna fall off bikes, and trees, and get cuts and scrapes and perhaps stitches. If your kids see you upset, and you subsequently remove them from that quality time, you are going to find that your children will never tell you the big stuff because all you’re doing in sweating the small stuff.
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Omg. I didn’t realize I wrote that much 
. Sorry!
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One of them, adults in particular should have told you. Only defense to dey drowning is that it wasn’t even a concept when grandparents were young.
The conversation i would have would involve being honest about any incidents no matter how minor and NOT having to keep it from mom and dad
It was wrong to lie and not tell you. Your son is fine and they were there and able to get him out without being hurt. They aren’t perfect, but clearly love their grandkids. Moving forward, I would have a conversation with them, respectfully but direct, without kids around, explaining your disappointment and expectations. Tell them they need to be upfront, and teach the kids to be honest and consider safety. I would use this as a warning, and tell them don’t let it happen again. You know the kids love spending time with them, and tell them you want to be able to trust them. They sound otherwise like loving grandparents, and your kids want and need them, and you do too. If it happens again, that’s a different story.
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This probably needs to be brought up just in a sit down with all adults. Relieve living with the guilt and discussed tactically, and with caring. Grandma may never have heard of dry drowning but doesn’t excuse the other.
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You have every right to be angry sage adults don’t tell children to keep secrets
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Idc who you are… family or not. If my child’s safety was in question, I would not hesitate to bring it up.
And for them to not have told you? I’d be even more upset.
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I’d be livid. You are not overreacting at all!
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You are NOT wrong. I’d be furious and wouldn’t ever trust them with my kids again.
I would want to be told if anything happens, ESPECIALLY something that huge of a deal.
Then the telling the kids not to tell you? Even worse. I’d be even MORE angry.
That’s very disrespectful towards you!!!
You are the mother of those children and that’s so disrespectful. When letting our children go with someone else we want to know if they are ever in danger, have gotten hurt, or if anything else has happened. The telling the kids to keep it secret too is a huge deal too, like you were saying. That’s teaching them it’s okay not to tell mom things and it weighs on children. I’m glad they told you! Your kids definitely trust their mom.
You are not wrong at all thoug!!though!!
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I’d be super PISSED, that’s so wrong on so many levels. I’d never trust them again!
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Asking kids to lie to their parents is 100% a grooming behavior and I would set very firm boundaries with them and tell them that if they aren’t able to follow through then they will be losing contact.
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Last year that happened to my son were he drowned and he alive but I would be so mad at my mom and stepdad I would just finally cut them off because I’ve been to much issues with my own family. But you have ever right to be mad. I know iam a mother of 7
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i would be mad about it but the bike instance with your daughter let it go. you can never learn to ride a bike without getting hurt its life. now the pool i would be bringing that up and i would be telling them flat out they should have told you and they should have never asked your children to lie to you about it.
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I’d be pissed and dont tell kids lie or hide stuff from parents especially something so serious but should lie or hide period
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You should have been told, they should never have asked your kids to keep it from you. Even though a year has passed, you and your husband need to address this situation with them. I am glad he was and is ok.
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I do see why they said “don’t tell”…your children will tell you nothing if they know how ticked off you become…They don;t want you mad at gr.ma…they love her too…
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It wasn’t weighing on your daughter or she would’ve told you . You’re overreacting and trying to project your feelings onto your kids and making a mountain out of a molehill
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What’s your point?? Kids will be kids. No they should not lie and you should nicely confront grandma about the incident. But come down. Your kids are alright.
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Yes they should’ve told you cause your are correct about dry drowning. It kills. This does need to be brought up before you let them be alone with the kids again but it’s not going to do any good to walk into it angry at this point. Save that for if they give attitude about it.
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I would absolutely be furious.
You don’t ask children to keep secrets from their parents. Period. Ever. It is not okay or appropriate.
I’d be having a talk with them.
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Open up the conversation with grandparents without anger or judgement. Grandparents need to know how you feel and that you want to know everything. You need to be the bigger person by removing the guilt, anger and distrust.
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There’s this thing called dry drowning that can happen hours after a near episode… I would talk to them, tell them your trust has been broken bd let them explain their side… without the kids!! Never keep the kids away from grandparents they love… this is your issue, deal with it.
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I get paid over $ 130 per hour w0rking from home. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 20687 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is limitless.
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I would talk to them, but they likely didn’t want to worry you.
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I would absolutely be furious.
You don’t ask children to keep secrets from their parents. Period. Ever. It is not okay or appropriate.
I’d be having a talk with them.
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Do not allow your kids to stay without supervision my parents are paranoid so I have nothing to worry about with that bc they will instantly risk death unto themselves for my kids and they do not encourage them to lie either
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I’d feel the exact same way. And agree 100% that ANYONE telling a kid to not tell their parents is so wrong. My mom tried that once. Back years ago. Not over anything dangerous though. We’d had a falling out, due to my mom lying to cops about my husband (then boyfriend, even though he and I were breaking up at that time). She was trying to get him arrested just because he wanted the 3 of us to talk like adults about something. She was escorted out of the house by the police. I know my mom very well, and when things don’t go her way, she runs. So, I had told her that I was not ok with her going to my daughter’s school any more, went to the school and told them not to allow my mother to have lunch or go to my daughter’s class and to not allow her to take my daughter from the school. They allowed her to do those things anyway, and then told my daughter and her best friend not to tell their moms. I was furious and went no contact with her for a year.
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It should have never been kept a secret. You had a right to know. I’m assuming they kept it a secret because they didn’t want to loose their privileges to watch the kids but they have to understand they have to tell you these things no matter how embarrassing they may be to them that they let it happen. The safety of the kids is what’s most important. I would have a firm talk with them, not rude but firm that they MUST tell you if anything like that happens, also ask you kids what happened every time.
You’re a calm and rational person based on this post. You’re not overreacting at all. I think at this point I would be most upset about them having your children lie by keeping a secret. Talk to your kids about secrets and if it makes them feel they’re hiding something or doing something wrong, they need to come to you no matter what. Or who is having them keep the secret. I would then address all this with the grandparents without the kids present. Address the health concern first and foremost and let them know your trust is broken. Make sure your husband is on the same page and perhaps it would be best that your both talk with them. Maybe they only see the kids with a parent present. Although this was likely a one off, they didn’t handle it well on many levels. Oh, and not jumping in after finding a kid struggling? WTH?
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A lot of people don’t know what dry drowning is so grandma and grandpa probably thought there was no more danger
Honestly I would take a deep breath and let it go
Maybe calmly educate the grandparents about the dangers of dry drowning for future reference
They were obviously watching your children or it would’ve been a completely different ending
Have a talk with your kids about not keeping anything from you
Weird to bring up the grooming bit and then say you know they aren’t
I don’t understand the bicycle complaint at all 
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The kids never lied to you, they didn’t tell you, that’d totally different than lying… lying is if they told you about what happened leaving out important details etc… they kept it a secret, they didn’t lie…
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The overreaction on your part is ridiculous. Have you talked to their grandparents at all about this?
Your kid admitted he jumped back in after having to get out, gma was still right there drying off and was in after him as soon as she noticed he was in trouble. Nothing about this incident is noteworthy. Your kid was being a kid and gma did her thing.
Seeing how you’re overreacting, and we’re strangers, I’m not surprised at all gma told them not to tell you. She seems to already know how unreasonable you are.
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While they should have told you immediately I don’t think they are setting your kids up to be a pedophile. I can recall instances when a adult has said to me as a child, “don’t tell mom.” I’ve even said it to my grandkids. While it isn’t good to lie, I think a few secrets aren’t bad. Still, you should have known about this incident. Keeping kids from grandparents isn’t the answer. Tell them you aren’t happy and move on
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If yu think you can’t trust the grandparents they will have to come to your house to see their grandchildren. Iam a grandmother of 3 with a pool. Iam 70 and watch the kids aound the pool,the 2 oldest can swim snd touch bottom the youngest, is after we put her in life jacket!
Yea it was wrong but don’t deprive them of their grandkids it is unfair
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I was groomed and sexually abused as a child. I was told every time “You can’t tell your parents, it’s a secret, we will get in trouble”
For people saying that the kids would have told if it was truly weighing on them, NO THEY WOULDNT HAVE. If an adult they trust tells them to keep a secret, they will keep that secret.
OP, you are completely valid in your anger. I would be furious if anyone told my child to keep a secret. Also, yes! This truly was a dangerous situation that they should have told you about. If something had happened and you went to the ER, that information is VITAL.
I would sit down with the grandparents and be express your feelings and concern in a calm and open manner. They need to know that this is not okay and that your trust has been broken.
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You said it in that last paragraph, “I dont want them watching any of my kids”, THAT is why they did not tell you…fear …
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Keeping an extra dessert or a late bedtime a little harmless secret, sure…I’d be annoyed but whatever.
That? Oh, I would’ve already had a conversation.
You’re kids are 7 and 6 they probably are over exaggerating the story they are very young and they were younger when it happened
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Those are YOUR children. You keep being mama bear!!!
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This seems like a huge overreaction, but they are your kids and you can choose how to respond. It does not sound like he almost drowned. It sounds like he went back into the water and grandma calming walked into the pool via the stairs to retrieve him. That isn’t how anyone would respond to a drowning child.
I’m not sure if the grandparents think nothing bad can happen, or if you overthink all the bad things that could potentially happen (like mentioning the bike riding).
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Well in my husband family , story went his older brother 22 months old at time when my husband grandmother was watching him , he got third degree burns ended up passing way at hospital cpl hrs later …after finding this out I look at my husband ask y was he letting her babysitter his son at anytime he like she raise more kids then just one got hurt …that was sad accident ,…I was like no … when we had our daughter I put my foot down his grandma wasn’t allow watch my daughter no reason , when we separated got custody order I put it in there that if I wasn’t working he needed work he need bring her bk to me or to my mom to babysitter until he got off work but his grandma wasn’t allow be alone w her at anytime…
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I would definitely be upset especially with someone who kept something from me if it was dangerous situation yes. I can see little secrets like over mother’s day gifts, or holidays my kids know the difference between what kind of secrets are ok to keep and those to tell me.
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I’d say don’t look to much into it. My kids have “almost drowned” quote a bit actually. It’s really not that big of a deal.
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Nope. That’s huge as you said, there is a risk of dry drowning later. I would tell the grandparents what you were told by your kids and then say ‘because you didn’t notify me straight away or at least when I picked them up that day I am not leaving my kids unsupervised with you till I feel like they are safe and if anything happens that I would be notified’. I would also mention that they even told the kids not to tell you or their Dad which kids should never be told to keep things from there parents unless it’s a surprise like a gift or something like that.
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Getting your children to cover up her mistake is wrong, simple as that. Your child comes before anything.
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Not an overreaction. You have the right to know & they should NEVER have told them to lie. I agree w you on the grooming. I would not trust them either, there’s no telling what they’ve kept from you regarding your kids.
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A few things… #1) your feelings are VALID. #2) No, they absolutely should NOT have asked your kids to lie to you. #3) I think the kids may be over exaggerating. Before jumping to crazy conclusions, like not ever letting them watch your kids (which is your choice), why not TALK TO THEM. Everyone is afraid to communicate anymore. Just talk to them. Yes, they SHOULD HAVE said something, & shouldn’t have told the kids to lie. beyond that, just from this story, I don’t think the kids are in danger.
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Not cool!!! And don’t make anyone guilt you into sending your kids somewhere you don’t feel safe sending them.
Probably because he didn’t drown in their mind frame it’s oh we don’t need to say anything cuz nothing really happened and that’s just as wrong as telling the kids not to say anything to you. The fact that they asked your kids to keep something from you it’s a red flag and you need to address it with them and let them know that it’s not okay.
I would say talk to the grandparents, you’re about to have 3 kids and two less people who want to help you out. Discuss it, lay out some boundaries and move on. Don’t burn bridges that may be essential for your life’s happiness especially if you ever want a date night again. 3 kids is tough especially with such a big age difference in the older kids and the new baby. Its exhausting. I’m sure you’ll get whatever answers you need by talking to the adults that were there.
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Your kids said everyone got out of the pool and he turned and jumped back in. That could have happened even if you were there. Maybe he should be taught to obey better. Also could be they didn’t want you to discipline him for not behave. And more importantly your taking the word of two small children of something that happened a year ago. Let it go or calmly talk to the Grandparents or the other relatives to find out exactly. If it was that serious I would imagine if not the grandparents at least the other family members would have talked about it.
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A year ago, ok over reacting…my grown kids still tell me things from their childhood. And you go right into “grooming” ??? Come on. Bike riding is a learn as you go kids get scrapes. Chill out
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Why didn’t they have water wings or floaties for the children and why were they in a pool alone? And also why didn’t the grandmother react faster? My childrens great grandmother reacts faster then that. She has a rule of no one can swim they have to have life jackets floaties or water wings. I feel like u need to confront them and tell the grandparents never ever tell children to lie to their parents and they can only have the children if you and husband are there.
They should have told you but a grandparent telling a child to lie to their parent is absolutely NOT ok. I have been dealing with that myself and have had to restrict some people from seeing my kids. If you are not willing to do right by my kids they will not come around you, period. Doesn’t matter who you are.
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Your son jumped back in. He was rescued. Yes he’s a child. Some kids have to learn to listen the hard way. If no one had been around to rescue him. Then the danger of drowning would be there. As it was he was rescued without incident.
Maybe grandma knew you would make too much out of it.
Just nicely tell her that whether your kids actually have a dangerous situation or just a potentially dangerous situation, to please inform you. Your child could have a nightmare from it that you would need to know what triggered it.
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Yeah, my soon to be 16 yo daughter just confessed to me that she’s been bitten by a dog on the back of her leg after she’s been hurting a bit from I’m guessing the weather change and it seems to happen every year. I was trying to figure out a different solution other than the usual ice pack and she confessed it happened years ago. It was when she was visiting her dad and they all told her to not tell her mama. I’m still not sure how I’m feeling about the situation as I’m angry as hell. So, I wouldn’t be the best to ask, however your feelings are valid.
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Idk if my kid was ok I wouldn’t be upset and it wasn’t urgent enough for her to jump in. They are grandparents and things happen the important thing is the kid is ok they didn’t have to call 911 or do CPR so no big deal to me. I have a 9 year old and a 6 year old also expecting a baby in a month. Idk maybe they could’ve mentioned it but I dont think it’s that big if a deal.
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Did they drown? No. We’re they being watched? Obviously. Did your kid not follow directions? Yes. They probably didn’t tell you bc they knew you’d over react just like now. Should they have asked kids to lie? No but again you sound like you’d over react so I could see why they asked that. They may have thought you wouldn’t let kids come back over.
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Nope!!! I’m so sorry this happened omg
at that age, should have already learned how to swim. BAD PARENTING
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You are overreacting a little bit this could have happened to you teach your child not to jump in a pool when they’re not supposed to the grandmother was right there trying to dry up it’s not like she did anything on purpose
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Lmao girl there’s going to be things you find out later in life what your kids have done. My kids are grown now & some of the stuff they tell me they did back then shocks me now. But they survived & a lot of it is funny now but if I had known about it then I’d a been ticked off. Thank God nothing bad happened. But kids & people will keep things from you for year & then tell you about it. Your over reacting. It could of easily been you there with the kids & him doing the same thing. Also what kids might think is horrible really isn’t as bad as they say it is
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I think you’re majorly overreacting. Kids exaggerate. My son is 11 and still tells the story about when he “almost drowned”. He never almost drowned. We were in Florida and he was 5. He was running by the pool after being told multiple times not to and he slipped and fell in the deep end. I was about 15 feet away from him and jumped in immediately and grabbed him. He barely even had time to go under. The kids may be making this out to be way more than it was. He almost drowned but she had time to use the stairs?
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While it’s hard to say if the kids are exaggerating or if your son DID almost drown, but what is concerning is the Grandparents encouraging the kids to keep secrets from the parents. Definitely have a calm conversation about it with the Grandparents.
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You are right feeling the way you and you politely confront them about the issue. Dry drowning is a very well know fact after near drowning and you not knowing what he, you weren’t able to get him to the hospital to be checked out. The idiots here saying”but he didn’t drown” would be the same idiots blaming the grandparents if you had posted a different outcome. It’s NEVER on to tell children to keep things from their parents or to lie to their parents. Confront them and tell them you don’t appreciate what they did teaching your kids to lie to you and that you e lost trust in them having your kids by themselves.
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It was a big deal even though he “didn’t drown”. Dry drowning is very much a thing and you should’ve been informed so you could keep an eye on him. Also the fact that they told your children to lie to you is a line crossed. You’re not overreacting, I would feel the same way.
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Teaching moment for your kids, remember that time you were told “ don’t tell your mom” , this is how people get you to do questionable/bad things.
“ don’t tell your parents!” Usually means tell your parents asap!
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It’s possible your reading more into this than what really happened. All your son said was he jumped back in. Your the one who asked about the drowning scenario, maybe he just agreed cause he doesn’t understand what it means. Just that he was in the pool and she went back into get him. Maybe that’s why they didn’t tell you or they thought you would overreact. I’d talk to them about it.
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This is why they kept it from you. Because you’re literally throwing around accusations of child grooming and pedophiles in a story about a child needing help in the pool after he five back in after being told not to. You sound ridiculous right now.
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Are you absolutely sure the grandparents told the children not to tell you? I know sometimes kids don’t always recall things correctly and sometimes they embellish the truth. I understand completely you feeling upset if they truly did tell your children not to tell you. No one should ever tell a child not to tell their parents something. But… I just don’t feel like this was done with malicious intent. I think your kids have good grandparents and they handled the situation. It doesn’t sound like your son was “drowning.” From what you described it seems like grandma acted quickly and your son was fine. Idk this is hard because I understand your feelings but I also don’t think not allowing the kids to go around their grandparents is the answer either. I think I would just bring it up to them. Explain to them they never need to feel like they can’t tell you something that happened with the kids. Maybe they just didn’t want you to think they couldn’t handle it.
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The incident itself isn’t to bad as kids will be kids , but it is definitely wrong to have not told you and made your children keep it a secret .
We have a no secret policy in my family
The incident itself isn’t to bad as kids will be kids , but it is definitely wrong to have not told you and made your children keep it a secret .
We have a no secret policy in my family
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I wouldn’t even post anything like this you sound like you just want to find a reason to complain just want to keep crap going on sad sad person grow up
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Someone should have told you, it was unfair to put the children in that position. I would have a talk with them, so they know you are aware & how it made you feel.
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No becouse I know a child who swam all day went home took a nap and died they said he has alot of water in this lungs and drowned
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I drowned when I was 12, my sister who was with me at the time took off with some friends…and came back to see someone receiving CPR…it was me…I literally died and returned to my body… my sister told me not to tell Mom… because she was supposed to be watching me…but wasn’t…40 years later I have COPD…from drowning…Mom said , but you never drowned…yes I did Mom…I told her…but sister told me not to tell you… because she was afraid she’d be in trouble for not watching me…My Mom was very upset…you could have died…and you didn’t tell me…she was beside her self…for not ever being told this 40 years ago…truth comes out !!
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You are not over reacting as what if something would have came of him almost drowning and he ended up in ER. Knowing that info is vital. Maybe explain good and bad secrets. Good being a surprise party or trip.
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You’re majorly overreacting. If your child was struggling they would have moved quicker. You are the one who suggested they were struggling. Not your child.
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How do we know that the grandparents did not observe him all night to make sure that he was okay. I give credit to grandma for keeping her eye on the child and he did no loose consciousness since he remember he going throu the stairs. Maybe grandma wanted to tell the mom and then she did not find words to express it. What I do not approve of her is trying to keep it a secret so a year later the children have made a huge deal out of the incident and your not trusting their grandma.
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No. This isn’t okay at all.
They should have told you immediately, and definitely shouldn’t have put that onto the kids and asked them to lie about it.
If anything happens like this with my kids, I’d want to know.
If you keep secrets, and it involves my children and their safety, you don’t need to keep them anymore until we earn that trust back.
It takes a lot of trust just for me to leave my kids with anyone.
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I would definitely just have a family meeting, make it known that this is not how you are going to do things in your family and that you would appreciate if anything happens in the future if they could tell you. You can still do this in a very loving way and letting them know that what they did is not okay and teach and show your kids how to handle situations like this. I wish you the very best 
