My kids told me they don't want to come home: Advice?

Ara Celis :smiling_face_with_tear: sounds familiar :rage:

1 Like

Let them stay with him they’ll come around in time,itt hard to let go but the more you fight with them or discuss with them they rebel.Right now it’s all good cause they’re ’ just visiting ", let them come to grips with the reality of it all.! Sorry you have to go this this,I went through the exact same thing but believe me they will come back around.Patience & spend more time on You!!! :pray: for you and your family.

4 Likes

You have to let them go with love even though it’s tearing you apart. Been there and done that. They will be back and when they do remember no I told you so! Just open arms and happy home

2 Likes

My second son did this to me he decided he wanted to stay at his dads because I took his phone away he was 10 at the time and was always the good kid in the house never got anything taken away until that day so he decided he didn’t want to come back and it hurt but I said ok, long story short he tried to be hard headed and ended up staying there 6 months and finally came home and said he didn’t want to go to his dads anymore. He learned how his dad really was. My advice is give your kids space don’t blow up their phones and let them see how it is and they will soon realize all u done for them and come back.

6 Likes

Let them stay the grass isn’t always greener on the other side and they will find this out plus dad will find out what it’s like having 2 teens full time & have to lay down some rules they might not like

3 Likes

Dads place might be alright for a little while but it won’t last.

6 Likes

The grass always looks greener on the other side. I’d let them stay with their dad. I bet within 3 months time your daughter will miss her mom. As for your son, having his dad full time is something he hasn’t had for 6 years so he’s a new shiny toy. At that age, if his dad is a good parent, they will start to butt heads. I think I’d just sit this one out and let things unfold on their own.

I know it’s hard, but let them go. Eventually they will find out the truth themselves and they will come back. And they will learn it’s not always sunshine on the other side. They will learn that that’s how life should be. They’ll do chores and stuff. Hugs and prayers for you.

4 Likes

Let them go! Teenagers have a set of mind of know it all! They will both soon realize you did it all for them. Once they get older they’ll understand everything you did for them.

5 Likes

Hard call. You can not blame the father. Your children have made a choice. I know it hurts. Let them go and no animosity or blaming. Bite your tongue. Allow this process to happen. Let their choices matter

7 Likes

At 16&17 I’m not surprised. They are in vacation. Give dad time to be a full time parent. They will probably change their minds. Wait until he says no, gets tired of the messing and can I have. Be patient.

9 Likes

Focus on you they clearly don’t want you

3 Likes

They are old enough actually. The last thing you need to do is nag them about it. It’s ok to express you will miss them but no bashing, no comparisons, just love. Never bring up what you sacrificed for them. Maybe you did too much and they’re ungrateful but later, they will see. This is not about you mom, let them go. They will be back. Happened to me a few weeks ago. :broken_heart: but it was planned by dad. And, my son is back​:raised_hands: Dad can never replace you. Pray and start mending yourself so you also have a life. Come back and update us​:heavy_heart_exclamation:

10 Likes

They need to get jobs if they want to live better. You should let them go, and don’t bother them. Still reach out to them. But let them make this decision. The more you push, the further they will go. This is an opportunity for everyone. They will learn what hes really like and vice versa. Plus you get a break and time to yourself which I’m sure you haven’t had in years. DO YOU!! They are going to be leaving the nest soon regardless because their almost adults. You’ll also be able to save some more money and dad will get a taste of his own medicine.

10 Likes

Let them go. They will return in their own time.

6 Likes

Just leave em be. They want to be there for now, try to take this as time for yourself and a chance to get rest outside of work. Don’t push them away further or get into arguments with them. Just feel your emotions and know that this is bound to happen when things are tight. they will always enjoy themselves in a place that is nicer and like a vacation. Try not to internalize it or villainize yourself.

11 Likes

At 16 and 17, don’t blame their father. They are old enough to know the truth and make their own decisions based on their own feelings.

7 Likes

Let them stay with dad. They will come back eventually. Keep in touch with them daily. Meanwhile, work on yourself and make yourself happy!

13 Likes

Yes children Definitely know how to hurt their parents not much can be done prehaps not now but they will be back…:two_hearts:

3 Likes

Sad, but let them live their lives and take the knocks that come with it.

2 Likes

Your kids are your kids and his your kids are almost 18 an they will do what they won’t anyway so go find a life for yourself and be happy they will always be there for you and dad

1 Like

Maybe it’s something they just need to go through to realize what a good mama they have. Maybe it’s time to focus on yourself for awhile and be there when their ready too.

4 Likes

Funny its 100s of excuses when a woman basically saying I’m not doing the best and they see it we fight etc so that’s the real reasons etc that all excuses are made but if a man said this I dont feel the same ENERGY would be put fourth I swear social media :rofl::rofl::rofl: attention and likes the new drug these days and playing the victim the top 3 now aye days! #SaidWhatISaid that’s what I got put of it alot whining and complaining :man_shrugging:t5: everyone almost goes threw this ots how you handle it!!! PERIOD

1 Like

They are old enough to decide where they want to live. It sucks but if their father can and does provide better lives for them you can’t fault them for not wanting to live with you anymore

3 Likes

Sounds like they are happy and comfortable you should be thankful their father can provide those things for them and they have a safe happy loving home. Don’t push or they won’t wanna come back even more let them come home when they are ready

1 Like

I have three adult kids and let me be ugly honest. Teenagers can be assholes. They aren’t looking at the big picture. Their focus all too often is on the right here and now. It broke my heart when my oldest went to live with his dad. I had always told them they had that choice. Oh it hurts so bad. Mama, I feel this to the core with you. He was able to provide more “material” things than I was. If I may suggest, allow them to stAy there. It hurts. Then consistently and lovingly reach out. I made a point to call my son every Friday. I’d leave a message if he didn’t answer. I consciously made the choice to avoid putting my emotional state on them. I wouldn’t cry on the phone with them. I did it after. One piece of advice I got was to be the fun parent . I took that to heart. My oldest who went and lived with his dad eventually moved back with me a few years later and we have a great relationship now. You get to take this opportunity to focus on you. Monetary crap will fade. I could never out buy my ex for their affection. However I could be their safe place. It feels like your heart is being ripped from you. It’s horrible. However look to the future. Sow seeds of love and care so they can remember this. What I love is what my son will say to me now is “thank you for always being there for me”. And Mama your worth and value is not in whether your kids are there with you or not. YOU as a person are valuable and worthy. Praying as you work thru all of this

Oh, you mean you’re teaching them responsibilities? Bad Momma :shushing_face::pleading_face:

6 Likes

Be a strong momma. Focus on yourself. And love them. Where they live does not define you as a mom. Love them through it and they will come back.

3 Likes

Time to do for you. Let them go… reach out everyday and just be there for them

4 Likes

It’s sad that the parent that actually parents or the parent that can’t spoil them is always the one the kids don’t wanna be with. Just shows how materialistic some kids are. From experience, just let them go and let them see what it’s like. If that’s how they want to live then so be it. You know you love them and I’m sure they do too. Focus on you now. Enjoy your time!

6 Likes

Butt holes …just be the best mom you can be and it won’t be long until they are daddy’s problem not yours …

Just let them know that you are there for them regardless of where they live.
Support thier decision so there is no hard feelings
They will come around…

2 Likes

Let them go. keep ur home loving and open and find yourself againx.theyl come back at somepoint.

4 Likes

Don’t worry!!! From personal experience they need to see both families way of living. They will appreciate you more for treating them as adults! I know that it’s hard, I’ve been through this!!! It really hurts!!

1 Like

I have been through something similar. It is a pain like no other, Let them know that you Love them unconditionally and if they change their minds , the door is always open to them. That you are sorry they feel that way. Stay in touch and invite them to do things with you, And then you pray that they see the truth. And if you do all of that and don’t bad mouth their father…someday they will see. It is never really the same again, but teenagers are very selfish beings. Wait for them to mature.

1 Like

Tell them you live them and that your door is always open but there are rules in your house and if they come home they must obey them. End the conversation with I’ll live you always.

1 Like

Feel for you. Be strong

1 Like

Let them stay with Dad, use the money you make for yourself. Let Dad buy everything for them - he will soon get tired of that. If they decide to come home to you, tell them you love them, and will have to think about it. They are trying to use you - let them see that they have screwed up - not you. Rent out their rooms, make a little extra money, etc. It hurts - but they need to learn too that Mom isn’t a wimp and she can get along without them.

5 Likes

Let him take care of them and pay for all their demands :laughing:

4 Likes

Give them time. They’ll eventually want to come home. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to doing some of the same things when I was a kid. If I got grounded as a kid, I’d stay at my Dad’s until I wasn’t grounded anymore. I also didn’t have any chores at my Dad’s, so of course that’s where I wanted to be. They also had better snacks. Kids are selfish and manipulative. Once they stop getting what they want, which in your case seems to be food and less responsibility, they’ll come home. At some point, their Dad is probably going to want them to help out around the house. He’s also undoubtedly going to feel the effects of a higher grocery bill. They’ll most likely be home soon.

3 Likes

I’m so sorry :disappointed: I understand as I have been in a very similar situation. Unfortunately, at their ages no matter how good they are as a person they are very concerned with having material things and being cool. I know it doesn’t make it feel any better now, but it won’t last forever. No matter what just be there for them. Tell them you’re sorry and wish you were able to give them all they wanted and that no matter what they can always come home to you. They’ll come around​:heart:

2 Likes

Let them go! This is your time to focus on you. You have done your best if they want to live the “easier” life let them. They will come back and if they don’t that’s on them. They aren’t 3 yo anymore they can figure out their own independence.

4 Likes

Your kid’s priorities are all fucked up

They need to grow up. They are old enough to get jobs and buy there own crap. You don’t have to get them whatever they want. You keep a roof over there heads and food and clothing. Your doing the best you can and maybe one day they will see it. I’m sorry I know this hurts but your kids seem spoiled and ungrateful.

5 Likes

The fact that they are 16&17 means they are growing up. 6 yrs ago when you divorced I’m sure they were confused that things were now very different . I know you have had a very tough 6 yrs bringing up teenagers. Now with them staying longer at dads and if there is no structure they may feel dad doesn’t care as mom did. Give them this time to adjust but always let them know you love and only want what’s best for them. Take this time to do something for yourself. Best of Luck mom it will turn out ok

3 Likes

It’s going to be hard but I would tell them that if they want to stay with him that’s fine, but you expect them to come visit you regularly. Set a schedule. The thing is, they are old enough to do chores and to get jobs if they want extra. So many families are struggling especially these last few years with the pandemic then with inflation and supply issues.
Tell them they’re always welcome to come back anytime and that if they want to come back all they have to do is say so and you will drop whatever you are doing to go get them and that you’re still there for them. Reinforce that you still love them.
The thing is right now when they go to their dad’s it’s probably just a short-ish visit. They probably don’t have as many responsibilities and he gets to be the fun parent. Well now the roles will be reversed. He will be the one to clean up after them, to enforce rules, be the hard ass and you get to be the fun parent when they’re with you.
But teenagers are difficult. If you tell them something that doesn’t normally teach them, often they have to experience something or see it first hand to really understand. And when mom, the disciplinarians is the one saying things they will have a natural instinct to rebel against it. Give them time to adjust. They will start missing all the things mom does for them, the comfort of having mom, and the more time they spend around dad they will get to really make their own decisions about him, whether that’s good or bad. And if you don’t bad mouth their dad but he bad mouths you they will eventually see that. My daughter will be 16 on Wednesday. Her dad and I have been separated since she was an infant. I have always tried to never say anything negative about her dad and when she brings up negative things about him I don’t react to what she is saying about him but instead focus on how these things made her feel. I validate her feelings and say things like, “I’m sure that was very frustrating for you” or “I know you’re upset, do you have any ideas on how we can fix this” or something like “would you like to tell your dad how you feel about this? I’d be happy to go with you to tell him” her dad doesn’t always do the same when it comes to me. And when my daughter has came to me with things her dad has said about me I have said well I’m sorry that you were put into that position, I’m sure it was awkward. And then I tell her that I’m okay, what he said doesn’t offend or upset me because I know who I am and that co parenting is hard and sometimes people don’t get along but that I’m sorry she was brought into that because she shouldn’t have to deal with that. It seems to make her feel better but also it has allowed her to see who I am as a person and who he is as a person and she’s been able to make her own decisions and opinions about that. It’s actually something she dislikes very much about her father but I didn’t want to be the one to put it in her head and influence her. Your kids are old enough to make their own decisions but they might have to experience a little of both worlds first.
Material things aren’t a replacement for love. And while it may work in the short term it doesn’t work long term

Legally, there’s nothing you can do. Let them live with him. They will realize the “grass isn’t always greener on the other side”. reach out everyday so they know you love them.

5 Likes

the hardest part of bring a parent is letting your kids go but if you don’t they will resent you so let they learn what you can’t teach them a but also tell they how much you love and miss them

2 Likes

Hang in there it is difficult situation rite now. Soon they would realise everything is not going 2be hunky dory with dad. They going 2run back soon

3 Likes

They are teens.
Let your ex carry the weight for a while.
Work on improving your health and wellness.

5 Likes

Clients are getting paid everyday so stop wishing and start wining, Mr. Bunker with link- Redirecting... can help you build your life financially just by investing Binary Options, Bitcoin and Forex Trading. There are lot of people here who are making huge profit trading in his company, He can generate huge profits for you just by trading in any of the investment plans he operates with. Make as much as you can with your capital accurately and perfectly,
Send a DM to Him

1 Like

My testimony started when I saw a post of people testifying about Mr. Joshua Bunker bitcoin company, after having a good view at his profile on facebook seeing successful stories on how he has helped a lot of people… I was really impresed and I quickly contacted him. Since then my life has changed financially through the help of Mr. Joshua Bunker trading bitcoin online. Click on him Facebook link below to contact him.
:point_down::point_down: :point_down:

I heard forex options trade is changing lives but I never had a chance to try until I came across Joshua Bunker an expert trader who made my first trade and withdrawal a success, I couldn’t believe it up till now how amazing my story has changed through one single investment with him. And he has changed my life financially. Thank you very much for all the profits | made from your trading platform, it was very easy and successful. You can contact him if interested.
:arrow_down::arrow_down::arrow_down::arrow_down::arrow_down:

1 Like

I’m so happy I can at least afford to pay bills and also take good care of my family. All thanks to you Mr. Joshua Bunker that helped me a lot on my crypto trading account, I reinvested and to my greatest surprise I got my profit x8 without additional fees I’m grateful indeed. Her investment platform accomplish my dreams without stress and I got more than what I was supposed to have as my profit. For those of you finding it difficult in trading you can contact them I believe they will be of great help

1 Like

Who needs selfish kids that only think of their wants?

2 Likes

I noticed a crowd of people giving thanks to Mr. Bunker for helping them. So I decided to give him a try and to my greatest surprise my first two weeks of trading was very successful, I made a very responsible amount that I can’t even get from my current job, I guess someone might need his help as well, I can’t stop sharing his good works :pray::pray:Click on the link to contact him, :point_down::point_down: :point_down:

2 Likes

My heart goes out to you, this is not good but unfortunately they think life is great with him so as hard as it is let them stay there. I truly believe that once the honeymoon stage is over and real life has to settle in things will change. It’s like having a new puppy, eventually you gave to give rules and set expectations. Just an example I’m not comparing the kids to animals

6 Likes

I wonder why people turns their eyes off Bitcoins and crypto currency trading knowing fully well they’re the faith and future of the world. Bitcoin and crypto currency trading are one of the most profitable online business I have ever gotten myself into, I am happy i made the right decision to invest with, Mr. Joshua Bunker who help me Boost my financial status… My appreciation and gratitude to Sir. Bunker for making me who I’m today, I can say I’m leaving my dream life… I’m happy I invested under the right platform… May God continue to bless you Joshua.0 I’m so grateful​:point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down:

1 Like

Don’t be among the multitude that gave up so easily because of rumor and bad experience. know ur worth and strive for the best. invest with Mr. Joshua Bunker and get your profit without hindrance or unnecessary fees, i just wanna let you know there is still competent mining expert. Bitcoin has been making people Rich and God bless Sir. Joshua for this amazing opportunity​:point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down::point_down:

No internet? If it’s impossible to log into the internet and do their summer school work, SAT prep, college research and The Common Application then they should not stay there.

Let them go…give yourself some self love …

Good work deserves recommendation, knowing where to invest, what to invest in, who to trust and how to make profit can be very difficult as a beginner, but when you work with the right people, the road to financial freedom becomes a lot easier. I proudly recommend whosever is looking forward to join crypto should trade with Mr. Joshua Bunker and his profitable platform to yield the best result. You can contact him with the link tag below

Live your life do not bad mouth their dad. They will resent you for it. Let them learn. Hard lesson for you.

Let it go.they feel how they feel.they will figure it out.dont let this get to you.your still mom they still love you.nobody ca replace you.

Just give it time they will figure it out

1 Like

You have no internet and junk food. That’s what it boils down to. They’re kids, look at it from that perspective. It’s nothing personal and you are not a horrible mother just because you cannot provide those luxuries for now.

1 Like

Try to think of it as extra time to recuperate and reorganize. Things seem right so take this time to huddle and get your finances together. Your children are tired and will always come back to the source it’s time to give yourself some love.

Try to think of it as extra time to recuperate and reorganize. Things seem right so take this time to huddle and get your finances together. Your children are tired and will always come back to the source it’s time to give yourself some love.

Let them go,because they will blame you,give yourself a break for you and maybe finding a better job do something positive and just stay in contact,say hi guys hope everything’s going good,it is for me too?

My grand kids live with me and my husband lost his job after 30 years,times are really tough,they give me a hard time for being so poor,I’m very much I bad health trying to get on disability??? Sorry mine grans are 15 and 19 I say get an education make your on way,we too old to,and the parents don’t hardly contribute a dollar we’ve had them since 2011 so it hurts when they say mean things about how poor we are?

not know ing the whole story did you ask them why

Let them go. They are teens and will figure out pdq who butters their bread. I am willing to bet good money on the fact it isn’t their father. Once the new wears off they will be walking home and glad to do what they must when they arrive. Except them with open arms.

They sound like entitled ungrateful brats. Let them go with daddy and see that wifi and material things isn’t everything. I know it’s sad because you will feel alone and like you failed or did wrong but you didn’t. You are trying to mold them to be independent hard working kids and they don’t like it. They like that dad enables them… but let’s see how cool he is once they are both 18 and living with him and not doing chores still. Anyways I say let those kids go see for themselves. They seem rude.

Of course you aren’t saying whether their father wants to take complete responsibility for feeding, clothing, and supervising them. His world will be turned upside down with teens. You can consult your lawyer about this. But you will have two rebellious self-professed martyrs when they come home. A lot of drama. Are you up to it or do you think that you should give them a taste of life with mom. It’s a lot to think through and I would start with the lawyer.