My man's ex is threatening me with exposing an old video

Stand your ground and if she releases the video have her charged for revenge porn and possibly child pornography . Consult a lawyer if you are worried.

I mean it depends what the video is. X rated? Incriminating evidence from something stupid you did as a kid in high school? However, what she is doing is blackmail and that’s illegal. If you have PROOF of her saying “I’m gonna send this video if you guys don’t break up” like a petty child, you can have her charged. Let her own plan backfire on her and after it does, tell her to mind her mf business next time.

She has already shown the video to ppl it is his ex u know she has
Ppl r messed up

What she is threatening him with is ILLEGAL. Either he lawyers up or you walk away.

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Shouldn’t be able to take child away for that but she CAN refuse to let her dad have child if there isn’t any standing court order and parenting agreement now! She could keep child until court says otherwise. If she is making things worse your boyfriend just needs to get a good lawyer and be ready for court to get something set. That way you know she can say what she wants but can’t pull her away from him.

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As long as your straight now… and it’s not a video of your molesting a child or some crap of that sort… it’s just going to make her look stupid and childish in the end… It’s high school video how would she have one any way?? Sounds like she’s bitter and likes to use the kid as a weapon which is wrong that little girl will resent her… If you haven’t never videoed nothing serious I wouldn’t worry sounds like she’s blowing smoke

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She cant do crap with out the cost being on her.shes a bad apple and dont want you to have dibs on her ex but thats what you half to exspect from some one that had a past and it was ugly and theres people that are not happy because there half left them and there happy and there not.just be prepair for a law suit against her if she does so the pics because thats a no no

Revenge porn/ sharing inappropriate pictures/ videos without your consent is illegal and I’d let her know of that. Also you are not a mother and that was before you were in a relationship with him. She has no leg to stand on. Literally none. And honestly if that’s all she’s got good on you! I would save all pictures and messages of her putting you down and make sure you are civil in all conversations. Keep a calendar as a just in case. I promise if she shares that you have nothing to worry about as far as getting that kid taken away. And she can and will face legal repercussions if you pursue it and if you have proof she has threatened to share it and you can put a law suit on her for defamation I believe. If you want to I believe you could even start with a cease and desist letter sent to her. You can find templates online. Depending on your state she could face jail time and/or fines if she shares them.
Here is a link per state.

Child pornography is illegal to possess on every state.

What she is doing is blackmailing which is a criminal offense. She coould have her kid tsken away for it. You can also press charges against her for it.

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It’s just a scare tactic! Stand your ground but in a respectful way so that she can’t use further behavior against you!

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She sounds like a real winner :roll_eyes: I want to bring up the biggest point of this; If she in fact has a video of you as a minor that involved nudity, she is in possession of child pornography and will accomplish nothing but landing herself on the sex offender registry. IF it doesn’t involve nudity, it’s blackmail and harassment at the very least, and I would keep documents of everything. Make sure if any of these messages are in apps other than your phone’s base texting app, that you screenshot everything, because shady people delete things to cover their tracks. If the threats are made via phone call, I suggest using your phone’s built-in screen recording software during phone calls, or downloading one if your phone doesn’t have one.

I’d seek legal counseling BEFORE she does anything. Just be prepared for a fight. You have rights too…

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Honestly if she has an “inappropriate video” of you as a minor. I would get her for child pornography. That’s what she would be charged with if she distributed that video. U can’t go posting videos of underage people.

My husband always said if you say negative things about your former mate the child will turn against you not the one you are badmouthing

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Depends on what the video is, but
If it’s an intimate tape, and you were in high school as you’ve stated, and she publicly shared it she could get into legal trouble. It’s considered sexual exploitation or and child pornography.

Isn’t revenge porn illegal anyway?! And as someone else pointed out if you were a minor in high school she would also get into trouble for showing people or even possessing such a video!!

Well. If she has an inappropriate video of you from high-school when you were a MINOR, she is in possession of child pornography and I’d remind her that it’s illegal to do so and illegal to distribute it. And by remind her, I mean contact a lawyer yourself (not your boyfriend) and have her charged.

As in a video of you as a minor? That’s illegal and nasty.

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She didn’t think this through.

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If it is a video of you in high school and it is sexual in nature then she is in possession of child pornography. So, I would just make sure to keep all of her threatening messages so that the dad can show she is blackmailing for custody. That alone is illegal.

I’d start lawyering up and start a custody thing and go ahead with a paternity test so he will have every right to his baby girl and don’t say a word to her. Don’t mention it at all. And tell your lawyer your afraid of her keeping the baby away til the court hearing is over with and see about your options of have a temp custodial agreement so he’s not took out of his baby’s life for any period of time while the court is in motion. But first and foremost PATERNITY TEST so he won’t have to wait to have a claim to his daughter.

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She cant use that video against you. For one I’m sure there has been many years passed since the incident and two you were in high school so if it’s anything sexual, she will get in trouble if she posts it. I wouldn’t worry.

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If she has a video of you in high school and it is of a sexual nature then she is in possession of child pornography. I would keep all of her threatening messages because blackmailing for child custody is illegal. Also, I would get a lawyer and get the ball rolling before she does.

You might want to let this play out. If you were underage at the time the video was created and she shows it to anyone, she could be arrested and charged with distribution of child pornography. OTOH, if you were 18 when the video was made and you are not married to the father of the child, a judge might rule that you cannot be around the child, which would mean that if the child came over to visit, you would have to leave the house until she left. It’s a tricky situation and courts and lawyers will most likely be involved before this custody issue is over.

If there’s no paperwork or proof of paternity, she can do whatever she wants.

You need to see a lawyer because her threats even to do this are illegal. Get a lawyer involved to do a cease and desist and gag order on her and then make sure if shit hits the fan after the same lawyer can represent you in a custody case. This is a bad person to even threaten this and you’ll never not have it hanging over your head if you don’t take control

Were you under 18 in the video? If so, she could get in lots of trouble because it could be labeled child pornography. How did she get it? I would contact the authorities if I felt threatened. That should stop her in her tracks.

Take it to the cops and get on a custody order before she does.

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If by inappropriate does she mean porn essentially? Because if so, her having possession of child pornography (if you’re under 18 in the video regardless of current age) is a felony. Also, even if you are 18 it’s video voyeurism by threatening you with it, and her having no consensual possession. Sounds like she is more likely to get in trouble over whatever she has her than you are. Regardless of the content of the video, it is extortion. I had an issue that wasn’t a sexual video, but it was one tried to be used against me and I was able to sue for extortion if I chose. They ended up dropping the threats before getting charged with anything. So, she’s more likely to catch a legal issue with it than you are.

Em lets see…blackmail, extortion, harassment in a sexual manner. I’m sure the right attorney would net you great results. Tell the B…bring it

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Uh if you are under 18 in the video its illegal as it is a minor in the video. Get your boyfriend a lawyer ASAP

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What she is doing is absolutely illegal. She has no right to hold that over your head and she can get in major trouble for that. And she’s just bitter and doesn’t want to see him happy.

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Isn’t if illegal to receive and send videos of a woman unwilling to do so let alone a minor…. She did not think this through neither did he

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Call the cops and tell them she has child you know what and report her. That is disturbing.

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Yikes. So if you were in high school, you were a minor… that can be used against her. Also, that’s called blackmail which is also illegal.

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Depends on illegal activity going on in the video. Anything of nudity while you were a minor is illegal though. Frankly if you all arnt married I don’t see a judge entertaining it. It’s stupid drama in a court room. She would have to bring current arrest records or something similar for it to be a problem

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Inappropriate such as sexual? If so, that’s called revenge prn and most states have a law against that. There’s also laws against blackmail. That’s also child prn and she can go to prison for possessing that. You can literally burn her entire life to the ground and dance in the ashes if she’s threatening you with s*xual videos of you under 18

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She’s an ass and should be happy you are so good to her child! After all you’re there when she’s not so she needs to be grateful you’re a loving influence on her child. Also releasing a video of you is illegal so there’s that.

I know every one is jumping on the sexual train for the nature of the video she has “against” you. I’m just wondering if maybe it’s not, is it you getting into a fight? Bullying someone? Etc. we really can’t help much without knowing the nature of the video. Regardless though I wouldn’t see them being able to use a video from high school unless it’s you being incredibly violent to show your character in the past (basically them showing how you’ve been in the past and could be now)

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If she shows anyone a sexual video from while you were in high school and under 18, that is child exploitation/child pornography and I would hire a lawyer immediately.

Document every she says. Do not speak about anything but the child on calls. Get it in writing. Texts are admissible. Tell your ex to get an atty and guardian ad litem for his child. Contact social services to see if financial assistance available. She seems toxic and the way to avoid this is to turn it around on her. Don’t threaten, just act.

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Just a thought if she really does have a video of you as a minor. Then technically she is in possession of child pgraphy and that is illegal so let her know if she continues to have that video you will call the police on her for child pgraphy and she will be charged with pedophilia.

First, is there actually a video? Second, how would she have gotten a hold of it? Third, if the first point is factual and you have reason to believe she is in possession of it, then have him contact his attorney or an attorney and ask them What to do. Just don’t respond back to her… She’s pushing buttons

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Fun fact: if someone possesses an inappropriate video of you in high school, then they are in possession of child pornography. Just saying. Lol tell her to kick rocks

It’s probably something that’s going to continue to happen, and something you’ll just have to put up with because you chose to be with someone that has a babymama… :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Revenge porn is illegal. Let her expose it she will be the one in trouble.

Yeah um, that’s entirely illegal if she is not in the video that is something she can be charged for! Definitely take legal action

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First of all how did she get said video? Did you go to high school with her? Were you previously friends? The person who had the video would of had to have given her the video?! I would contact them and see what’s going on. Something from high will not be held against you. If anything a judge would say go to some parenting classes. What you do in the bedroom doesn’t have anything to do with how you raise a child.

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Everyone has a past. The judge should see how old that video is. If you have no record or anything you should be fine.

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Save all her messages, etc. And you have your evidence to get her in trouble and possibly end up in jail so… if needed you can use that and tell her to quit it. Yours is past, hers is present. At least you"ve grown…

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He needs to file for an indocument parenting plan ASAP cause if she withholds the child then yall are fucked and won’t get her back without further legal action

If the video was made while you were still a minor, she is possession of child porn. Report her.

That’s called revenge porn and it’s a serious crime

Illegal she can go to prison file a harassment report.

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Do you know of any videos that someone may have? If so id find out if they shared it. Second, in my experience when people say they have a video they usually don’t. And third if it’s sexual it’s probably illegal for her to try and use that against you especially when it comes to children. We all have sex, you were not with your current s/o when it happened, and it literally has nothing to do with anything, so no, that can’t work. Id definitely just keep all messages from her, she’s threatening and technically it’s harassment. Id just keep my distance and let her grow up, if the courts get involved you’ll have a lawyer who can point you in the right legal direction with all of this, it can’t hurt to have one now just to be safe

If your under 18 and its a sexual video its considered child porn and you can goto the cops for harassment/slander!

Everyone tries to keep it put of the courts, my ex tried, kinda the same situation but without the blackmail. He needs to file papers with the courts to have a legal backing behind himself, explain their current agreement for visitation and get everything set in stone, chances are it will not get better but worse. Make sure he documents everything. One day it may get better ( my exs kids mom and i are literally best friends now and im momma number 2 even after 8 years of not being with the dad) things eventually fall in place but sometimes the courts have to be that middle ground so the kids dont get used as pawns.

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He needs to grow a spine and take her to court for established custody guidelines.

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Ya’ll are just like the mom in this situation. You think because she is being childish that being childish back is the answer. Good lord that poor kid is going to have so many issues from both sides.

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If you were in HS and under age isn’t that considered possession of child pornography?

First of all nothing you did 5+ years ago would affect your life right now. If it’s something inappropriate like nudity that’s illegal. Second of all why are you having any conversation with her at all? Your conversations should be to your man and his conversations should be about parenting only with the child’s mother. Instead of asserting yourself as someone who needs to speak to her step back and let them handle their family shit without you

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He should file for custody 1st, and if thats all she has against him. The judge just may laugh at her.

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Ugh I hate girlfriends- my baby daddy gave up his rights as a parent to please his girlfriend and she said ur baby is gonna have daddy issues- some chicks are so evil and need to stay in the effin lane! One time my daughter was dirty and she and him took pictures and said they were gonna send it to cps and make a case :expressionless: well it worked in my favor because he signed away his rights now I have full custody :smiling_imp: and she can’t even be around if I didn’t want her to be

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Blackmail. I’d report her to the police. But she is probably lying about the video anyway.

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No the video can not be used against him, although if she has a vidoe that has you in it, doing sexaul things and links that she can be arrested. It doesn’t matter if the video has you doing drugs or anything else, it is not recent and no judge would allow that in evidence. It does sound like she and him need to go to court and have things figured out that way, no matter who he will get with stay with you or another woman, she will not stop and this is toxic for the child. Keep your chin held high and do the best you can

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What she is has in her possession would be considered child porn if it show u nude. Also revenge video are against the law in most states.

GIRL. LET HER. Then take her to court for distribution of non consensual porn and make your moneyyyyy. Play smarter not harder. She can’t take his kid for something you did

Is the video of a minor (at that time) ? :thinking:

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So assuming it is a sex tape she is not only threatening to leak revenge porn which is illegal, she has possession and threatening to distribute child pornography…

Report her for harassment

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Get restraining order or something, and tell police she’s blackmailing you and your partner, she’s just being spiteful because he’s moved on with you🤷‍♀️

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If it’s a sexual video she’s releasing it’s called revenge porn and is illegal. So if she does do that she’ll be in trouble. If it’s something else like you doing drugs or stealing or something like that then you just have to show you are no longer that person.

Unfortunately both parents have to be mature to keep it out of the courts and in this case they need to go to court. The judge will see they have had a successful back and forth and will probably rule it to continue to be that way.

Um, if she’s holding onto a video of you from high school wouldn’t that technically be her having child porn?
Plus I don’t think she can legally spread that video or she can get in legal trouble.

Plus as long as YOU’RE or your boyfriend isn’t hurting the child, she can’t use a video of you from YEARS ago to take away the kid but I do advise on going to court to establish a court order because then she can’t get away with keeping his child from him anytime she feels like being super bitter.

If she truly has that video most stages have a revenge porn law and she can get in HUGE trouble for releasing it.

Now if she does that
You can sue her
It’d really suck
But what she is threatening is totally illegal and will not do her any favor ( i don’t think)
If she’s texted to you those threats
Save them
You can report for blackmail

If you were in high school the. That would make you a minor, tell her you will have her done for owning and distributing child pornography. I guarantee she will regret everything she has said.

What she’s doing is called black mail

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That will backfire on her soo bad. That is blackmail and you or him need to make that heifer understand she has no leverage. Judges see bitter bm all the time and will not think twice of ruling in your favor. Have u or him contact a lawyer for a consultation and get an opinion to help ease boyfriends mind. I highly doubt she even has a video of u shes just bluffing. You guys are giving her too much power over your lives. Unless u want this to continue boyfriend needs to check his crazy ex or he needs to take legal action. Otherwise this is your life for a loong time.

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To add, from my experience with a bitter baby mama, it doesn’t change or get better.
They will always get spouts of moments where they leave us alone then start up again anytime they want attention.

It’s been 5 years for me and on some days (usually the days she has money coming in from her boyfriend and unemployment) she doesn’t cause problems but when she wants more money, she always threatens to go back for full custody to put my husband back on child support.

We have half custody (50/50) and she’s been threatening this ever since my husband won half custody and still hasn’t done anything of that nature because she knows if she goes back to court. It’s not going to work out in her favor due to all the reports made on her by her kids and other people :woman_shrugging:t2:

Some days it gets really hard to even wanna stay and deal with her shit but I’m still here and you’ll eventually learn to ignore her childish behavior. At the end of the day, she’s miserable and will be til the day she dies

I’d report her. Plus if you’re in high school in the video were you a minor?

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If she sent something around, especially being in highschool, if you were under the legal age, she could be charged. But also, that’s harrassment. A judge isn’t going to look at your highschool past and connect it to now. Where as he would look at her NOW and realize she’s sick in the head. If it gets out of hand, be ready to take this situation to court regardless of his feelings

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Your sex life has nothing to do with the child as long as the child is unaware of it. Courts favor mothers so he shouldn’t file anything until he knows he can win.

Well it honestly depends if you were under 18 at the time technically she’s in possession of c**************** having an inappropriate video of you so if she really tried to do anything with it it actually end up probably getting hurt in trouble plus it’s from high school so I don’t see how it have any bearing on his custody of his child

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Custody battle going to happen, video or not, has no barring on his case… talk with lawyer, most have free consultation…

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If you were under 18 in said video that is considered child pornagrahy and she can be arrested for having it

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First of all…she’s being very childish. Second of all, I mean seriously a video from 5yrs ago??? Ya ll are adults…well u and your boyfriend are. Wether the video contains any thing sexual or drug related or anything of that nature doesn’t matter. Were you and boyfriend together then? Next, yes it will back fire on the ex. And lastly, you should file for some kind of arrangement and it doesn’t mean you have to go to court. Mediation comes before court. What she is doing is harassing you, threatening you and your boyfriend and she’s trying to defemate your character. All of that, is what is going to end badly in her favor. The 3 of you need yo sit down and at least try to come to a conclusion as to why she dislikes you so much. And make it known that what she is doing is inappropriate. If she continues, let her know that you will file a restraining order against her, and if that doesn’t work then take it further. File a suit against her for defamation of character and serve her with a cease and desist. And if that doesn’t work then seek it further through the courts. Be aware that the child in this, will be affected as well. It is important that you inform her as well as to what’s going on. Dont ask the child to take sides, to spy on mom or to tell u if mom is saying things. Because at some point as well they will question the child.

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Police report for black mail get it documented you might need it later in court

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Seeing as you were in high school you may have been underage so she is walking around with child pornography and that could so back fire on her! And also that’s flat out black mail! Good luck :four_leaf_clover::heart:

If you were in high school I’m guessing you were a MINOR, she can’t use any video against you, if fact it’s more likely to work against HER….

If the inappropriate behavior is criminal in nature, you’re not liable as an adult AND that is protected information. If it’s sexual in nature, well then she’s in possession of child pornography and that shit’ll backfire REAL QUICK….

Your boyfriend SHOULD initiate a court hearing to establish paternity, custody, child support, get joint legal custody and get a visitation schedule. Without a court order, she has ALL the cards.

Go to the police. File a complaint.

Keep all that on record . She’s blackmailing you .
She’s using you against her baby daddy out of spite and it’s pitiful if you ask me . He needs to keep all the on record, printed , saved , whatever but what she’s doing it’s just wrong and no it would backfire on her quick.
I’d tell her to take y’all to court . Fuck her . I’d also talk to an attorney with you’re ol man.

Depends what your doin in that video? If it’s something illegal and if you are a minor in that video or not. Blackmail is also illegal though so I would seek legal advice

Go to court for the custody battle. He will have to start paying child support and back pay. Anything out of court is a gift.

Mom will get full custody and he will get his rights and visitation most likely. They don’t care about the significant others (even if you married)

If you get a GAL and kid tells said person she loves being by dad and stuff then you might get 50/50.

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Unless you’re a drug addict , or alcoholic , abusive they can’t take your babies from you :heart::heart: no matter what anyone says

If she had a video of you naked in high school taken before you turned 18 then she is in possession of child pornography. Get proof she had said video and report her for child pornography. Also if she has such a video how did she get it?

Also your guy should file a parenting plan. Without it she can take the kid and move across the country and he woulda never see his kid again. He could file for full custody due to the way her mother is acting. But any time two people who are not together have children it is berr very important to have custodypapers files with the court.

Just pretend like hell that it doesn’t bother you and you’re not afraid of her. That will take some of the power away from her.

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If you were in highschool, you were likely a minor and shes in possession of child pornography. Just hit her with that, bet she shuts up :woman_shrugging:t3:

Firstly are you talking about a risky video of you and a ex? If so she has no rights to the video and the person in the video with you I’m going to assume gave her this video. If that’s the case they can get into a lot of legal trouble for even sharing it. Second off no video from years ago will affect her from visiting her dad. Only thing they would use is if it’s any type of child abuse. I would tell her that the video won’t help her in court and that you are requesting that the video be destroyed. If she fails to do so I personally would go to the cops and get her for blackmail.

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No she cannot. What you did years ago has nothing to do with now. That sucks tho what a dumb petty bitch