My man's ex is threatening me with exposing an old video

If you were under age she can get in a ton of trouble! Even if you weren’t underage, it’s still illegal to share someone’s videos, let alone have them without their permission… Don’t let people walk over you. Sounds like they need to go court to get something more stable established.

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If it’s a sexual video she can get in trouble for just showing that to the court. If the video is drug related that may be different. But the father needs to let her know the threats need to stop or be will be taking her to court. There is seriously no reason to be that way and it could be so much easier if yall could get along.

Your man needs to stop playing games, go to court to settle a custody agreement. Get everything on paper. Document every shady thing she does. As long as he won’t stand up to her she’ll keep right on.

Go to court. Also contact the police. Tell them what is happening. There are laws about sharing private videos of ppl.

Child pornograpghy. Let her do it… she get thrown in jail for showing the judge that. I’d actually call non emergency number and file a report.

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In high school? We’re you a minor? Was the other party involved a minor? If she does anything whatsoever with that video she’ll be guilty of child p0rn0graphy. Even if she blurs a face it’s still illegal to own yet alone distribute!

Unless the video is of u committing child abuse rather sexual or physical, it won’t be relevant. There would be no point to show a sex tape to a judge so I’m thinking u mean a video of u doing drugs or something. If it actually comes up in court a simple explanation of that was 5 years ago when I was young and dumb with a possible drug test. Last thing I would say is, you aren’t her mom, You’re not married and possibly over stepping. You’re playing house with someone else’s child. You can be supportive but as his girlfriend you don’t take on a role of being mom.

She is blackmailing, I would think she would b charged with some type of with possession of child pornography if you were under 18. Not sure how that works. Also, I wonder if that would fall under some kind of libel law.

A video of a high schooler engaging in sexual activity? She can go right ahead and see how that works out for her . :smirk::unamused:

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Okay first of all I stopped reading once I saw high school, thats child porn, if she really had that video then she is in possession of child porn which makes her look way worse, plus the police or courts won’t do shit about an old sex tape I wouldn’t stress too much, let her know that that video is child pornography and if she doesn’t get rid of it you will report her to the police and just leave it at that

If you were a minor and there is anything inappropriate in that video she can go to jail for having it and sharing it.

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Well she’s blackmailing you, so that’s illegal.
You can easily talk to some police about it …

Somebody was blackmailing me a couple years ago, I had to put a stop to that bullshit real quick

Get out of that relationship or prepare yourself to be in drama for the next 14 years! Your choice!

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You will continue to go through this until you have a parenting plan or court order. I would keep any messages from her blackmailing you about the video because that is exactly what she is doing and it’s a crime! I honestly would go meet with a lawyer to establish some grounds on where to begin, hopefully your husband and her can settle this with a ton of court cost.

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He needs to get legal advice before doing anything. Getting things in writing for custody is the best direction for the future.

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Go to court it won’t hold up if it’s that old of a video the judge will see her as bitter and dismiss even seeing it I’m sure and you guys could get her for harassment honestly

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Yup. This is one we’re going to need to be periodically updated on for sure.

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Let her take you to court. Keep responding to all the messages that you just want to keep things civil for the childs sake and unless she has concerns for the childs well being she doesnt need to contact you. If she continues, document it all. Im taking print screenshots of text messages with time stamps and put them in a folder/binder/file box
If she takes you to court you can prove shes been endlessly taunting you and it is VERY obvious that it isnt actually about the well being of the child.
I have NEVER seen a judge that was happy about someone bringing a custody case to their desk that already had a functioning system going on.

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Do you and let the ex be bitter!!

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Child pornography! Extortion! Ha…I’d go balls to the walls and tell this bitch to bring it on. Who the hell keeps your private videos of you for 5 years? She sounds absolutely crazy. Girl, put your foot down now. Get a lawyer and document everything. Chances are, she probably don’t even have a video…she just wants the upper hand and to scare you to get what she wants.

Depends? What is the video? Did you do something wrong in it and now your worried? Was the video sexual or something else, like violence or that? Don’t feel you’ve have said enough about the video to be able to give an opinion. If it’s just you engaging in sexual activity alone/with someone and it was all legal, I wouldn’t worry about it and would have her done with blackmail and for having possession of it.

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HE can take her to court too. And if that bitter baby mama shares any inappropriate video of you without your permission I hope you press charges to the fullest extent

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Tell her to expose you! Child porn will get her arrested smh what a dirt bag she is!

That video has nothing to do with her or him…I believe it’s a crime if you’re underage. If he doesn’t want drama…unfortunately, court or a mediator is needed to avoid any future problems. He’ll get her every other weekend and holiday… mom’s state? Florida? Lol

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Especially if you’re underage in that video

Document everything! You also need to record every conversation. And y’all are going to have to go to court so something is set in place. If you do nothing it is only going to get worse.

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She can’t do a thing and she probably hasn’t got access to any such video

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Speak to a lawyer. She could go to jail for blackmail.

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No. She cant. But YOU can sue for revenge p0rn.

Shes bluffing, call her bluff. :woman_shrugging: if she isn’t, get paid, mamas :partying_face:

He should Really get a court order outlining custody. This is just an example of how BM will try to manipulate him without one. And she Will in the future unless he’s got the CO to follow to the letter. If I were you I’d see have a consultation with a lawyer about writing up a formal letter to desist harassment, threats towards you. Find out about your state laws, good luck :four_leaf_clover:

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Sounds a lot like child pornography. That’s frowned upon. She can drop the threats, and grow up before you let the police know yourself about the matter.

He needs to get an order. Right now she could turn the tides and withhold whenever she wants. With an order she can’t do that without being in contempt. The judge would likely not be pleased with her behavior towards you and probably wouldn’t even entertain the video. Most judges in all states are pushing for 50/50. If they already have a 50/50 agreement established outside of court, a judge isn’t going to take his time.

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As long as you can pass a drug test and have no felony/violent charges there is NOTHING she can do about you being around the child. Now if you are not married and living together or having overnights she could take him to court and put a no shack clause into a parenting plan but other than that not alot she can do about it.

she cant take his kid for something u did in high school they would laugh her out of court

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You need to get a custody arrangement through the court. Keep proof of your current arrangements, if possible go to a lawyer and have them draw up what you do now and ask her to sign it.

Honestly a video from that long ago if it does exist, wont matter unless you murdered someone. Also, use her threats as blackmail.

Seriously, if you take her shit now, it will only get worse

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She is straight up black mailing him. Save all the threats, and take her ass to court. Hopefully she’s just bluffing but even then, she’s still using it to black mail.

He definitely needs to get a lawyer. Sounds like a bitter bm from what I’m reading :woman_shrugging:t3:

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She’s being a bitch. She can’t do shit. Jealous is all she is.

He should file for custody first. It will help his side versus if she does it she can say anything. Where if he files and says he just wants to have a court order so both parent are guaranteed time and no one can withhold the child. And she probably doesn’t even have a video. That also called black mail so keep records of everything!!! And like someone else said if you were under 18 in the video that child porn and she can get arrested for it.

So she is trying to blackmail you by saying she will releasing an inappropriate video? Like a sexual video? Because thats “child porn” I mean cuz if its from hs and u were under 18 its child porn. So yea id make it abundantly clear that it is illegal to blackmail as well as posses let alone release child porn. 🤷

Unless that video has to do with that child and it doesn’t. She is being a B.

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Honestly what you have if it’s in text you have enough for a restraining order. I’d let her know if she continues to do that, you’ll be filing a restraining order. More of a chance of that happening then taking his kid away……If it’s just sexual stuff in the video, no, has nothing to do with the kid.

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If the video is sexual and she shares it, especially if you were underage in high school press charges. The fact that she is in possession of it will probably cause her to lose custody

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Call the police/a lawyer. She’s threatening you with blackmail. Screenshot everything.

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That’s blackmail which is a crime. Also, we’re you underage? Okay then. Now what isn’t smart is not having a court ordered custody agreement. She acts like this and there isn’t one in place? Seriously?! You’re playing it safe to please her. There needs to be court ordered custody agreement. She’ll play him so easy by him acting like a push over. Document everything she says and prove how she is. She won’t look good in court like that. Not everyone can respectfully co parent, sometimes you have that one parent that is bitter and immature and in those cases it does need to be taken to court.

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If she has any kind of sexual video of you from high school, 1 I’d be wondering who gave it to her as they can both be charged for having child porn, 2 if she shows anyone the video she will be charged for revenge porn. Talk to a lawyer

He needs to take her to court and you guys need to document everything shes doing, no, a video from back in high school will not effect you now you were young and it’s not a recent video pretty sure theres something illegal in what shes attempting to do you guys need to talk to a good lawyer and take her bitter ass to court

He needs to go to the courts and begin the process of establishing custody. Also, she can’t blackmail you like that. AND just make her powerless- “Send the video. I really don’t care.” Take her ammunition, she has nothing. We all did dumb, embarrassing stuff in HS. If anything, shows the courts, anyone associated and the general public how childish SHE is.

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Idk man I wanna give you confidence but my man’s child’s mother went to court saying she didn’t know who was going to be In my man’s house there was no proof of anything just her words and the judge awarded her full custody off of that. She had never been to my man’s house (they would get hotel rooms). It really depends on the judge.

I’m not sure of a judge that would allow a video like that in court unless your SO was involved in it and it was breaking the law. Like child pornography or something. I’d report her for blackmail

I only have sons.
Tell your man to get a custody and visitation agreement, through courts before the baby momma.

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Unless the video is something that can put you in jail… Fuck her. The past has nothing to do with her child today. She’s just being really bitter and ugly. I’m sorry you’re going through that, unfortunately there’s a lot of bitter unfair baby mommas out there. Smh . And as long as your child is not In harm’s way, she can’t dictate who he’s with. If it does go to court the only thing she could really do towards you is request that you can’t be in the courtroom with them, because you’re not married they probably will abide. However what goes on in his house is none of her concern, again unless her child is in harms way … which she’s clearly not

Legally she cannot do anything to you, with a video pertaining to you. You and the father aren’t married, if you two do not own any assets together, nothing Legally binding, your good. He has every right to move on. Leaving a bad relationship doesn’t mean you have to leave the child. As long as he’s being a father he has every right to move on. No worries momma.

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Honestly he needs some sort of legit custody order. I’ve personally witnessed what damage a hateful ex can do. Unfortunately family court is quick to believe accusations against fathers. The video won’t matter. But I’d be worried about what she comes up with next

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If you were in high school, I’m assuming your under 18… that’s child pornography. Which is illegal. She could get into trouble. And I’m sure the court system would laugh at her for even mentioning it. It has nothing to do with the child. I think you are safe. She’s just trying to stir things up.

Been there done that unless the child was present when the video happened then nope can’t be done she’s just being a B

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Depending on how old you are and then content she may dig her own grave there’s a big umbrella of stuff that falls under child pornography.

That would not only be revenge porn, but revenge porn of a minor if you were in high school in the video. I call BS and empty threats.

I would record everything and go to court the courts will probably laugh at her. And she will be the one that will get into trouble also you could report her to the policr for threatening you with that video

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You can surely her if she releases the video

If you were underage in the video and she actually has it, she could lose all custody and rights just for having it. I would document everything and stay civil. Let her make a fool of herself.

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Not to mention, if you were in high school when the video was taken, you were considered a MINOR and she could get in trouble for having a video of you especially if any nudity is involved.

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It’s time to go to family Court and establish custody of this child officially. Unless you were standing on a rooftop with an AK-47 I’m not quite sure what could possibly be in a video from high school that would deem you inappropriate. This person is clearly unstable. Side note you guys are all really young to be going through this

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Depending on what video it is, you can sue HER if she releases it especially if you have the proof of her saying shes going to do so. Unless the video is somehow involving the child in danger, shes just spewing B.S out her ass. Let her look like an idiot. Trust me, we dealt with a bitter ass baby mama and it was hell. Dont let her run your life. And GET A CUSTODY ORDER. Someone like that is going to give yall a bunch of problems and unless there is a custody order in place, she can pretty much do whatever when it comes to the child.

Go on and get the lawyer and get the eow down on paper.

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How miserable and unhappy she is that she have time to find a old video of you the best way is by court no other way cause we are all humans and eventually u gonna get tired of the same sh!t and u gonna explode and then u gonna be the crazy one Good luck!!

he needs to do a legal custody and make it where the bitter baby mama can’t go anywhere near him his kid, and even you. You can even do what is called common law marriage. You can move in with him help him take care of his kid and when you are ready go to the courthouse get married by Justice of the Peace. and file another custody paperwork where both you and him have full custody and baby mama don’t

Inappropriate as in sexual? … Bc that’s kiddie porn

I would let her know that If you were in high school during the time the video was taken that means you were a MINOR which means it is in fact child pornography and if she decides to pass it around she could get into alot of trouble if anything I would think with a situation like that it would warrant the father full custody if she decidedto go ahead with exposing it. She cannot take his daughter away from the father or you based on that. This is definitely just a desperate attempt from her to bully you or scare you away.

So she’s admitting having child pornography

There should be something legally in place, so that’s my recommendation to him.

On your end, tell her to do it. You give in now, she will keep trying to bully you. Tell her to do it. No shame!

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I’d go ahead & report it so you have that on file if she ever does decide to go to court. That’s considered a threat, & harassment at that point. I deal with a “bitter babymomma” situation too, so I know it’s not easy :woman_facepalming:t2:

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The X sounds like she’s bitter and just doesn’t like the relationship between you and the father. It’s wrong and definitely should be brought up in court. The best thing I can say is keep record of everything she says to you so that you have a case against her. If she really has a video of you that she shouldn’t even possess and releases it then then she should get in trouble for it. I don’t know what type of video it is but if it has anything to do with nudity or sexual acts in this state (utah) if somebody puts a video or picture up without the expressed Consent of the person then they can be hit with a revenge porn charge… That alone for her to go to court guilty of would help you guys in the long run. I’d say don’t engage her in any way shape or form and if she goes out of her way to talk to you or about you just make sure you keep record of it they have apps you can record phone conversations. Trust me when I say you do not want to go to court and slander the other parent without any actual proof. Also because it’s not your child this correct custody would be over I wouldn’t want to overstep boundaries especially because the father is already scared of going to court. I would just stay out of it as much as possible and if she seeks you out record any in all interaction.

I mean, maybe you will become a Kardashian? :wink:

I’m sure if she shared an inappropriate video of you as a minor, that would get her in a lot of trouble!!

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Depends on jurisdiction and content. Can you recall anything dangerous with children you couldn’t refute now? If it was you doing drugs you can prove your not today kinda thing. So think about it and have him go refine the agreement on his own he has as much power with his kids as she does.

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First of all u were a minor she can be charged with child pornography she’s nasty to even have the video

Stand. Your. Grounddont. Let. That troll. Bother. Up she. Mad. Cause. He isn’t. With. Her. That’s. All. Keep. Up. The. Good. Work

Who cares. Even in a mom state she can’t use it to take the kid away (I live in a mom state too) any judge with half a brain will see through her petty antics, and if it’s from high school, we were ALL in high school. I wouldn’t care less about something like that coming out on me. Your boyfriend and you SHOULD have a legal order for placement/custody in place to protect your side for this very reason though. You guys need to take HER to court for that.

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Thats called blackmail and that is illegal! Despite him not wanting to, he NEEDS to get a lawyer and have custody set that cannot be changed due to feelings… and I’m fairly certain this video could be classified as “revenge porn” if it is that sort of inappropriate you mean, which is also illegal! Get a lawyer is seriously the best advice. And save all texts, keep a journal of all verbal interactions.

It’s illegal to post inappropriate things of someone else and it would be 20× worse if you were a minor. Tell her to go ahead and post it and that you’ve let the authorities know what’s going on.

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I’d remind her that sharing that video is very illegal and she could do time!

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If the video of you was when you were a minor then she would just get in trouble for distributing child pornography.

There are also laws to protect you if you were not a minor. There Is is no way for her to use it and it makes her look good.

What this situation tells you though is that you really need to get a court order. She wants control. She will keep doing this and none of you deserve it.

And right now you have a situation for a really good case because you already have 50/50. She’s gonna have a hard time explaining why 50/50 isn’t in the child’s best interest when they have already been doing 50/50. The precedent has been set by the schedule they decided on Mutually. It’s actually better to file now because if he waits and she withholds the child from him it will set a different precedent.

No she cannot take his chd away because of a video from years before you two met. This sounds like it’s heading for court so I’d tell your man to lawyer up with this crazy broad there needs to be an order in place. And if she releases any video of you without your consent I know in CA you can sue. Idk about where you are but it’s worth looking into. Especially if it’s an inappropriate manner. She could actually go to jail. Don’t stand down ether of you two. And if your man really won’t deal with her then get a new one sis👌

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Lol no the courts will not use that as evidence to take away his child. She can try tho and she’ll lose. Let her waste her time, energy, and money by being a bitter & miserable person.

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Revenge porn is a felony in most if not all states.

she’s just being a mean and controlling spiteful lady. she no longer controls him, so she’s grasping at whatever straws she thinks she has.

If she does in fact have an inappropriate video of you from high school, if you are lacking clothing in said video, that will be illegal. It would be considered child porn even if it’s you skinny dipping! I would ask her if she wants to be on the sex offender list and lose her child

Get a lawyer and don’t let her scare you.

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The fact she even has that video is rather sketch. It’s also sounds like it could be child porn?
Revenge porn is also illegal, so if she is sharing it or even viewing it she is doing something illegal.

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If it’s a sexual video she can get in trouble if she posts it or anything like that without your consent

If any nudity it’s 2 felony against her. 1 it’s child porn and 2 it revenge porn. You could bring it to a judge now against her as black mail. Being no one’s going judge you on something from high school and if it is sexaul it’s going back fire big on her. She’s setting her self up to lose her kid.

So she’s admitting she’s in possession of child pornography? Let’s start with that.
He needs to get a lawyer. She can’t do anything with that video except for get herself into some serious trouble.

I don’t know what country your in but in the U.K. that’s revenge porn and taken very seriously by the police xx

You were a minor in high school. Sounds like an empty threat. The video won’t do anything they would probably laugh at her for trying though

tell her to do it then sue her ass cause it’s illegal that chick is crazy I have the same issue with my husband I think she’s not mad at me just at him, and if you’re planning on staying in that relationship just try your best to be there for the kid because sometimes they’ll (ex) start to turn them against you saying all kinds of hurtful things to the child to the point the kid ends up hating you and the father

Sounds like blackmail. If she thinks this is wise, let her find out the consequences on her own. She might find it backfired and she could lose any custody of the child.

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If you have evidence to show she’s blackmailing you take it to a lawyer asap and use it as a kickstart to a custody agreement. It shows more of her character than something stupid you did as a child.

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If she’s threatening you, that right there says a lot. She can get in trouble for having a video of you without your permission. If she sends it around she can get in trouble for that specially because you were a minor. Report it right away, that’s a form of harassment. Also if its from before you guys were dating and she wants to try and use that in court, they might just not do anything with it because that was a while back ago and wasn’t recently.

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Sounds like she’s harassing you over shit that happened before you guys were together. If she keeps going, I’d talk to your man about harassment charges for her. She’s just being spiteful.