You wrote this and deep down you know the answer. You need to leave asap. It is not fair for your children to grow up thinking they are hated and the way he treats you is horrible. You and your children and if you have to go to a womens shelter for help.
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Leave! Leave! Carry on for now and while the denying, rude, selfish masochist is at work, sort out outside support and get sorted to leave. Get stuff packed and leave. You need to stand up to him and tell him you will not be his door mat and are not responsible for HIS behaviour. Heās taken the p*** for far too long and wonāt be anymore. Tell him what youāve told us. And donāt look back. He is unlikely to change
WhT the hell are you still doing there? The first time he said leave, I would have been gone, it certainly isnāt for the great sex cause you say there isnāt any, Iād leave him so fast his head would spin, you and your kids deserve Better! You deserve happiness and you are not happy! Go leave, file for divorce, it wonāt be easy, but it will be better than what you have!
Let me just say, if your kids feel that much tension and are asking you why he hates them so much then you need to leave! You need to protect your children and have them in a home
Where they know and feel loved. I feel bad for you in the situation but more so for the kids because you can leave at any time, them on the other hand canāt.
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He is opening the door for you
Leave quietly with your kids.work and have a life
Leave. Heās an abusing asshat (to put it nicely).
If your daughter came and told you her husband was treating her this way what advice would you give ??? Itās probably best for your sanity & for your childrenās welfare to leave or ask hubby to move out , just my opinion
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Heās gaslighting you. He has NPD and heāll never change. You let him mistreat you. Get out before he ends up kicking you out.
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Please take some time to read about the different types of domestic abuse. Take your time, plan your next moves down to a T, ask for some help from domestic abuse charities in your area. Safety plan before you have the final conversation and please, take your babies and run. Feel free to message me if you would like some more advice. I have been in a similar position with my sons father. Xxx
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Oh please,
Do you really need to ask leave.
He treats you like shit and has told you numerous times to leave and doesnāt care for you. Why why are you still with him. Big red flags
Leave! Youāre just torturing yourself.
I stopped reading as soon as āfatā was mentioned. Iām not one that gives up easily, but leave that piece of crap. As far as his son, sounds like rhe apple didnāt fall far from the tree. When you correct a childās behavior, that donāt mean you hate them. No wonder his ex left him. Maybe sheās the way she is, because of thier Childrenās father. Iād be mad I had to still deal with him too
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You need to leave that story sounds too familiarā¦
Are you sure he isnāt gay? A lot of married men turn gay. They where always gay but ashamed and afraid of what people would think of them so they marry. I feel like this could be the case either that or he is bipolar with some kind of depression
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Run and donāt look back
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NPD. Figure out a good safe plan and safely get your kids and yourself out.
I know that personality too well. I went through it.
Get away, trust me, it only gets much worse.
xx
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Leave, if you donāt do it for yourselfā¦ do it for your kids. You all deserve better.
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If heās mean to your kids why are you still there?
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Donāt leave your home " get rid of him and his lot. there is help out there to make this happen.
Girl. Wtf. Seriously. I think you need to READ that again and ask yourself what you would tell someone else to do in that situation. Pretty sure youād tell them to take the kids and gtfo of that mess. You really donāt need to be TOLD to leave, I feel like youāre waiting for someone to validate your reasons instead of making that obvious decision yourself. At this point, if you stay, youāre allowing him to gaslight and abuse you and your children. Grow a set and take your kids and go. Thereās literally nothing for you to stay for.
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LEAVE! Run with ur kids now while theyre only starting to feel unloved nd hated! Thatās my advice anyway
Your husband is straight up a malignant narcissist and you need to get your job and finances in order and leave - vanish without a trace or you will never live a normal healthy safe lifestyle. RUN!!!
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If this were a friend, colleague, coworker or relative-you would tell her to leave, file for separation/divorce and take care of her children. Stop looking for excuses and reasons to stay. Also, stop letting him have the power over you. Girl you can work out in your back yard, bedroom, living room, or bathroom for that matter. That part I canāt understand, you can include your kids and make it fun-I do and I even use my two year old for weight and hold him while I do my squats! Itās possible!
āGrey rock methodā is used for when an abuser has you in a cycle of control/abuse/manipulation and emotional abuse where you are often times made to feel helpless, insignificant and just blank like a grey rock. (Look up grey rock method) Also, being you are acutely aware of the hormone treatment and behavior changes has it always been like this and you were just overlooking it? Either way, the environment is not healthy for you or any of the children. You need to dig in and take control of your emotional and physical well being and start by contacting an attorney for a consultation. Line up a place to stay with a friend or a relative. If all else fails thereās always Safehouse programs and they have counseling available for you and your children. Thereās too many resources available for domestic violence victims to stay in a situation where you and your children are targets. Get OUT! I know itās overwhelming and scary af when you feel trapped but thatās exactly how he has control over you and thatās what he is banking on to keep you locked in.
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tag him in this post on your way out with the kids
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If you had to type all of this & then read itā¦ you need to leave. Never let a fuckin man put his hands on your kids??? Sorry ass mother.
As someone in fitness it definitely sounds like heās using PEDS (without your knowledge and consent) and more than likely without doctor supervision. These can very easily alter his mood, libido, and anger.
He regularly treats you and your children badly. He doesnāt effectively communicate and frequently threatens you with divorce. He frequently talks to other women, and doesnāt appreciate you.
Thereās some situations in which are regular married woes and that can get better, and thereās manipulation and abuse.
This unfortunately sounds like the latter. You donāt have to live like this. You donāt have to put up with this. Your children donāt deserve to feel this way.
Please leave. Thereās so many more men and opportunities to be loved well out there. Please remember your worth and value, and be a positive example for your children. Itās so much better to be alone than to be in this level of toxicity.
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I stopped reading after he punishes mine but not his and he tell me he could careless whether we are hereā¦ so whatās the question because u already know u should be gone
Heās a narcissist and you are just a possession to him. Get out now and donāt look back.
Hmmā¦estrogen blockers for building body mass ???
His mood swings sound like heās also taking steroids. ??
Gym bunny ā¦get out before the violence starts. Youve got to protect yourself and your kids from this man . His behaviour will only get worse
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Wow! Why are you and your babies are still there? Please leave him!!
U havenāt mentioned any positives or why your stayingā¦ lifeās too short to be miserable onwards and upwards girlfriend 
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Get out ! This is child abuse on both sides. He is a narcissist! He will not change !
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If this was one of your children going through this, youād tell them to leave for their own health. Take the advice, get yourself happy and well. Heās a narcissist and those are dangerous.
Heās abusing anabolic steroids. Thatās why heās taking estrogen blockers, and why heās angry all the timeā¦
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Get out !!! Get as far away from him as you can. Your kids are asking why he hates them and his kids beata on yours with no repercussionsā¦your husband is a narcissist and youāre not playing your role to his satisfaction. Iāll validate you, take what you can pack and your kids and go, before he cripples your ability to walk away or to work. You have the answers
If you have the means and a place to go, leave now and let him wallow in his own misery. If thatās not an option right away, get a job and save for the next 6 monthsā¦as much as you canā¦then after those 6 months, have a conversation and just bluntly ask if he wants you to go. If nothing is betterā¦just walk away. It will hurt, but that temporary pain will be worth it and better than a lifetime of pain while still with him.
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Leave.
For your safety. The kids safety. Your altogether well being is extremely at risk and you need to go.
Contact family or a friend. Pack up while heās at work or at the gym, and go. Go somewhere youāre safe. Do not cave if he chases you down. Be prepared to call the police if necessary. He is a narcissist and he will not like being embarrassed by you leaving.
If anything, find your local āsafehouseā and go. You CAN do this. You ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK. Do not let him make you think otherwise!! Youāve got this 
best wishes to you.
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Your husband is an asshole. He treats your kids and yourself badly. If your kids have to continuously ask āwhy he hates usā, then itās time to go. Home is supposed to be your kids safe space and itās the exact opposite in your home. Start secretly saving money, get a job and make an exit plan n
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My marriage is broken, what should I do? - Mamas Uncut
Leaveā¦protect your children from all this and his bullyā¦hes NOT going to changeā¦the relationship you have with your children is way more important than having a manā¦they are precious and if your kids turn on you now because you make men more importantā¦you will never get them or their love and trust backā¦speaking from experience
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I agree with Jessica Dannielle Goddard , I think u answered ur own question. U deserve happiness. U deserve to be loved. U deserve to be appreciated. And so do ur children.
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He sounds truely horrible and narcissistic, gaslighting is I big yes, he tells you just enough good stuff to keep you hanging on and hoping for better days again and clearly canāt take any responsibility for himself
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Honestly in your post I think you answered your own question. Donāt stay with someone who doesnāt value , truly love and appreciate you. Mental abuse is not ok. Constantly throwing around the Divorce word is not ok. Sounds like he wants a way out but doesnāt want to be the bad guy and only loves you when he wants to. Youāre happiness matters too. No fighting in the world is worth staying in an unhappy home. If I was me and I felt that way and my kids as well. I would take his advice and not let the door hit me on the way out
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I have lived some of what your going through and I can tell you itās not going to change, you really need to put yourself and your kids first. Your children will end up with serious issues if you stay. If not for yourself do it for them they donāt deserve to be in that environment. I left 3 years ago and I didnāt realise until I was out of it just how much my mental health had suffered. Your better off without him.
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Girl, you answered your own question. You even said there is no connection! Why stay without connection. Intimacy isnāt everything but itās not there. When I was in your shoes and knew I was getting divorced cuz I wasnāt happy. The marriage just wasnāt gonna work out. I chose to find a job even if shitty hours for him. It was about me. Then I got my shit together and left. It hurt, he told me he loved me and didnāt want the divorce as I was signing the paper. However, I left. I chose me, my family my happiness. It wasnāt going to get better. It was going to get worse. I am happy with the life that I have built with my kids my man I have now. Walking on egg shells and having your kids see that isnāt healthy. Itās hard to leave it really is. Find a friend thatās willing to help you through it. Help you get out. Not gonna run to him and tell him everything. That helps too. However, if you choose to stay good luck. I wish you and your family nothing but a bright future.
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He is definitely gaslighting you. He sounds narcissistic. Nothing you do will ever be good enough sadly. Its time to makes plans to leave if not for you, for your kids sake.
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take the offer to leave with your kids give them the happy life you and them deserve they shouldnt feel like those they live with dont like them. being a single mum wouldnt be half as hard as it is being married to someone so manipulative and hes unfair to you.
Iām so sorry for what you going through love. That was my life and I decided to walk out and I donāt regret it for one moment. All the best and do whatās is best for your mental and emotional well being
Kick that motherfken front door down and thank that asle for showing you that you deserve better. Get that divorce and never look back. Heās clearly a piece of shit and will never change. Take those precious babies and be happy. Do you girl!! Prayers it all works out for you!!
Leave its going to get worse. If not for you then your babies get out before you canāt heās showing so many red flags that heās abusive and capable of worse especially with the chasing you through the house and name calling. You need to get out soon
Go and donāt look back lmao. Pushover for his kid but bullies the rest of the house? No thanks
I would leave him much sooner than later and all the sweet shit he talks to you heās full of shit you and your children will be much more happier without him honestly everything you spoke he will never stop and Iām sure youāre not telling everything start packing are you available is your staff have it ready to go because he will play that stupid game not let you come get your stuff and when you leave tell them at the door hit me on my ass and it felt so good
Bail out lil lady. Just move out while heās gone so thereās no fight and he canāt belittle you. You deserve far better and someone that loves you for you and shows you that. Besides the fact I think you already know that, your babies truly believe he hates you guysā¦ 
no baby on this planet deserves that. And what, youāre just supposed to sit and watch as his kid terrorizes yours!? Nope. Stand up not just for you, but your babies too! Bail out and file for divorce. It may take time to heal, but itāll be worth it and better to start the clock now. Good luck
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Youāve got babies watching you. You have to make the choice for them, and whatās in their best interest.
Go before this ruins your kids. Get your confidence up and move on. You donāt need a gym to loose weight either. Plenty of videos on YouTube for free. Take your little kids to a park and walk around the park while they play but a safe distance to watch. The ābā or ācā word is never ok in my home. I think you already know to leaveā¦.
Put ur kids first and know the worth ā¦ LEAVE
Yeahā¦time to go. Start planning, find a place u can stay. Itās gonna be hard to adapt but u will be ok. You get a new chance to start over.
Belive me they always come out the best there good with there lies there sneaky ways in every way itās only when u find some one u trust love ure love and move on we could all tell our stories
You actually both deserve to be happy, we only get one chance at life so live it well. You need to sit down and decide if moving forward you can be kind to each other and make the most of life being together or if separating is more likely to bring you both more happiness in the long run.
I definitely wouldnāt tolerate being spoken to the way youāve described, it also sounds like his chemicals are imbalanced which could explain (not justify) his reactionsā¦.it would be good for him to open up to you about this and share if he is seeking professional help.
But overall, if nothing is going to change for the better, you need to get out as what your describing is not healthy.
Get out of there! Sounds like you and your children will be better off
Noone deserves that mental torture. Leave his sorry ass and find someone who will appreciate you and your children. Itās gonna stay toxic and will effect ye all more as it drags on
Iād leave and never look back!! U and ur kids deserve better
Y do you want to be with someone that doesnāt want to be with you?
I wouldnāt be askingā¦
He said āthereās the doorā and Iād use it to my advantage! But I get it too, Bc Iāve been there too! Heās a real jerk 
Next time he mentions divorce, say" Yes, I think itās a great idea!" at least you wouldnāt have to put up with his kids and his negativity. If you donāt value yourself, Nobody else will either!
Didnāt even read the thing. Just seen your marriage is broken. Divorce
Take your babies and RUN!!! Thatās the only option for you to be okay and happy! 
Donāt just leave, run out that door and donāt look back.
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Run as fast as u can.
Cut your losses and get out now
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My marriage is broken, what should I do? - Mamas Uncut
I would definitely take some time out; also whatever āestrogenā blocker he is taking will be effective his behaviour - I would say he is most likely on steroids and they make people assholes. Also may be why youāre not sexually active as it causes floppy problemsā¦
Iām sorry he is treating you and your kids like this and I would definitely walk away. If he comes back to you then you can work on things but if not you know you did the right thing.
You are strong and you are brave; listen to your heart
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Oh no hunā¦ Leave!!! Iām sorry, but it seems like heās not interested at all anymore. Donāt put yourself through it. Why stay with a man that brings you down, a man who isnāt putting much effort into you and your family especially to his own kid. Iām sure itās hard on you, but have you got to put yourself first. Iām going to be straightforward, just leave. Heās telling you to go, calling you all these names, you do not need to be putting up with it. Leave! Itās going to be hard, you need to learn how to be on your own again, you need to put yourself first, learn how to love yourself, and accept your body the way it is. You are strong, but you do not need to be putting up with a man or anyones abuse. This is all mental abuse. And it is not okay. I really hope you do leaveā¦ you will be much happier when you do. You got this mamas. Know your worth, know you are more than enough. Sending you so much love and hugs
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Leave gorgeous. Youāll find when youāre on your own after a toxic relationship thatās when everything starts going amazing! I got a nice house, Iām studying, lost 45kgs, kids are happier and healthier, less stressed, now Iām in relationship with a wonderful man. You can only go up from someone like your husband unfortunately. He cannot see the issues within himself, and can never be the man you need him to be as a result
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Wow, this man does not deserve you at all. You need to leave before it gets worse sweetie. He doesnāt love you or respect you and your letting him think his behaviour is acceptable xx it is so hard when you have little ones but think of how they will view relationships from what they see. If you have a boy, he will think itās acceptable to treat his wife the same, if you have a girl she will think thatās how men treat their wives. Please leave. You will end up becoming very low self esteem will be at rock bottom. You also donāt need a gym to lose weight. Slimming world is amazing, and I am more than happy to talk you through it 
xx
Leave for the sake of your kids and yourself .
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Sounds like a wastman you leave him
Donāt just leaveā¦ run!!
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Please leave. You donāt sound happy and it doesnāt get better.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My marriage is broken, what should I do? - Mamas Uncut
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Love yourself enough to leave. It sounds like youāre doing it all on your own anyway. Get a job no matter what he says because heās going to be nasty to you anyway. Once youāve established a good income for yourself, move out and take your child with you. Get a good lawyer and ask for a divorce. At this point he will suddenly appear to change and say all kinds of things to get you back. Do not give in. Stand your ground and get rid of him. Go to gym and work on yourself, youāll find someone who treats you right. This will take extreme willpower and if you donāt care enough to do it then donāt complain that you get treated like crap.
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Staying in a relationship based on narcissism is doomed wether it be now or years down the track. You can try everything i your power to make it work but it wonāt because that is who they are . You will be blamed , dragged down, belittled, lied to cheated on and some how it will still be your fault . Leave now for your own sanity and self pride . Donāt let him drag you down anymore because it will continue
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This marriage sounds shredded! Run!
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Do you really need to ask?
If he treats you that badly, & in front of your kids, & says he doesnāt care if you all go, then why are you still there? You deserve better x
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This is really sad to read, take your children and leave. They are telling you how they feel and you are feeling the same, why keep hurting yourself and your kids? It really sounds like he is having bipolar drug induced episodes that are not helping the situation.
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You owe it to yourself and children to be happy. I would Never stay if I wasnāt happy. Life is far to short. I was in an abusive relationship for years. Still haunts me 30 years later but I learnt never to accept any sort of this behaviour of anyone YOU are worth more. Good luck. Get out the door and donāt look back. He will be sorry.
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Sweetie go get a divorce lawyer and file first.
If the place you live at is Iām your name do what I did. I packed all his shit in the u haul I rented and told him not to let door hit him in the ass on the way out. As he was leaving the locksmith came and I had all the locks changed.
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This is full on domestic violence. Why would you allow your children to grow up learning this behaviour. Leave and look after you and yours. X
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Girl pack your stuff and your kids and leave him to his bad kids and baby mother
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How many ways should he tell you and show you that heās done with the marriage? What advice could you possibly be asking for other than a lawyers name?
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Heās already made it clear that he doesnāt care about you and your kids, so listen to him. My kids and I would have been on our way out the door the minute he said he doesnāt care if me and my kids are there or not.
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I was in a very similar situation, except with the father of my children and heād tell me all the same things. Get out. You WILL find better. I left and for months he called and texted me saying he was going to kill himself if I didnt come back and trying to persuade me any way he could that I needed to stay. Dont. Get out. Get out and get yourself healthy, mentally. Read a self help book. Make friends get a night sitter for a few times a week and go to the gym. Just get out and pursue the things you want to. Dont let a narcissistic man who isnāt worth anything hold you or your children back from being the best you can be.
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How much more invitation do you need to leave?
And how much more of a sad, unstable upbringing do you want to inflict on your kids?
They already see bullying, disrespect and narcissism on a daily basis so will think itās a normal way to live.
If you dont care about your own well being, thatās up to you, but please dont inflict any more on your children.
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You need to take YOUR KIDS and get out now, if any of what you said is true, the kids donāt deserve to see their mother disrespected
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Why are you still with this man? He has well and truly nailed his colours to the mast. He doesnāt want a reall partner, he wants a housekeeper with benefits. This is abuse. Your children are affected and you cannot allow them to grow up in this toxic environment. Be kind to yourself and do what you know you must do. It will be tough in the short term but you and your children are worth so much more. This man will not change. He will grind you into the ground, and probably your children too. Be brave, be strong. You can do this. You must.
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Sounds like you already know the answerā¦.have the courage to love yourself enough and your children to leave. We have one life, LIVE IT, DONāT be miserable. Plenty of people out there that you can find happiness with, but make sure you find it in yourself first. 
Best of luck. (Coming from someone who left her toxic marriage at the age of 40 to start over) Iām glad I did. My best friend taught me a valuable lesson. It was, āwhen someone shows you who they really are, believe themā Believe himā¦heās a jacka$$
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Agreed. Get out! It wonāt be easy at first and you will doubt your decision at the really difficult times, but donāt give up. Get your revenge by being the best you that you can be for yourself. You will find that you donāt need someone that negative and emotionally abusive. He will try to say he will change, but he wonāt. I have met that demon in another human. They donāt change for the better unfortunately.
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Is he trans? Or is he just taking steroids because he goes to the gym? Iām confused but that could be a reason for his behavior. If he has high testosterone or even fluctuating hormone levels it causes mood changes.
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If you enjoy being mistreatedā¦not respectedā¦and insignificant to the relationshipā¦your kids dont matterā¦then continue with your relationshipā¦but it cant be healthy for you or your childrenā¦as far as the gymā¦you can do exercises at homeā¦but you deserve to have a break from the house tooā¦your life ā¦your decisionā¦but i think you already know you deserve betterā¦
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For godās sake please get out. Respect yourself enough to leave this horrible marriage because he clear doesnāt respect you and is a terrible role model for your kids. If you wonāt do it for yourself do it for them 
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