My marriage is broken, what should I do?

When your kids are wondering why he “hates you all” and the adult in the situation can’t figure that this is a hostile living arrangement….:roll_eyes:Go stay with your parents- get a job and move out on your own. It may be tough but it will be a loving environment and your kids will learn they are loved. Run ASAP!

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Been in a similar situation myself. The absolute best thing that you can do is leave and get out before you and/or your children are seriously hurt. My ex would beat me if he didnt get his way or even just because he felt like doing so. Protect yourself and those babies. If you are scared to leave him wait until he isnt there and pack yalls stuff and get away while he isnt there and leave him no way to find you. I had to do it that way and i havent looked back yet. Found my husband right after and he took my daughter in as his own and i did his as well. It is absolutely the best feeling in the world when you get away. :purple_heart:

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Youre already doing it on youre own just leave and dont look back you will feel better without a cling on making you miserable get that divorce and go live youre life and be happy with youre kids good luck :+1:

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You need to get out of that environment - for yourself, AND for your kids. This is domestic abuse, :100:. As someone who was in an abusive marriage for 13 years, I can tell you - this isn’t love, and isn’t a marriage.

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Yeah it sounds like a generally unsafe space for you and the kids. I’d get divorce papers and say “since you can’t find a reason, I did” and just put them in front of him and leave.

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Honey if you feel unloved it will only get worse, you and your kids deserve better

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RUN… get out! You don’t deserve that. No one does. Get you & your child/children away from that toxic situation. Hold your head up. He has serious issues and is passing them right on to his kids.

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Get out of that toxic relationship. If not for yourself, then for your kids. They don’t need to be around that. They need to know that it’s wrong for someone to treat you like that or they will end up in a relationship just like it. You deserve better.

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This man ( if we can call him that ) is sabotaging you until you decide to do the right thing and leave. They do that. Leave. You know you are being abused. Leave, take your kids away and live a better life without his sorry arse

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Start working on that exit plan. Sounds like you’re being taken for granted. And after y’all already married. No no no. I see no change in the horizon for him and only misery for you trying to hold onto something by only your strength. That’s not ok.

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Ok I didn’t even read all that. You already said he has shown you the door and has no respect. Protect you and yours… he doesn’t respect you and that’s enough

Why are you even considering staying? Leave now! He doesn’t love you and your children shouldn’t be around someone like him. You deserve someone who will treat you like a queen, not a servant he can belittle.

leave that marriage, it will only bring you trauma and ptsd, the best you could do for your kids and yourself is leave him. listen to your kids, they don’t feel loved by him, that’s enough reason to prioritize your kids and leave him

At a risk of repeating others, this emotional and psychological abuse. It’s domestic violence. How long until things escalate and become physical also? It’s not a healthy environment for you or kids. Know your worth x

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that, it doesn’t sound like a healthy situation for you or your kids to be in. I’d be leaving, if he’s saying those things and being rude and disrespectful I don’t believe it’s possible to work through that, it’s a toxic situation

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From my opinion leave before he wrecks u to thr point of no return all its doing to thr kids is later in life say u never choose them that u never had there back do it for ur kids if anything .a man is only good when its benefiting them in this kind of situation u will be so broken down u wont ever find it in ur heart to ever have a happy relationship w another man cuz ull always think the next will do the same …choose happiness an ur kids an leave the situation .

Better to be alone and not lonely than be with someone that makes you feel alone…Run don’t walk to a better life for you and your children.

Got through half of your post and thought this sounds like narcissism. On his part to be clear. Counseling could be helpful but by your description of him I don’t think he would be receptive to the idea. I wish you the best in this friend thank you for sharing with us I know it had to be hard to say all that out loud.

I dont even need to read it all to tell you to run… run away from there and find someone who will treat you better and appreciate you

Leaving is hard, but regret is even worse. (Especially if counselling is not an option.)
The longer you prolong it, the longer you prolong the inevitable ‘hard days’ that will follow. And, of course, your new found freedom.
Life is short sister. Too short to be treated like someone’s emotional punching bag.
Sending you lots of love and strength to forward xx :purple_heart::sunflower:

Leave, domestic abuse is not always physical… don’t let your kids grow up with this as their role model as to how a woman should be treated… it’s bigger than just you.

Looks like you are being gaslit and emotionally manipulated. As he said the door is open take your kids and leave him with to handle his own moodswings.

You need to get out of this mess. I know its easy for me to say but i know all to well about thus. Please dont tell him youre leaving. Thats a dangerous time. Make a secret plan. See an attorney. You can call a domestic violence place and they can guide and help you. Dont just suffer and let him abuse you and your kids. Get out asap. Be careful. Be strong. Good luck.

Only you can decide but do you really want your child to grow up thinking they and you are worthless and deserve to be treated like dirt you could do so much better on your own if you get a job don’t leave your child with him I dread to think how he treats them when you are not there

The more I read, the worst it gets. Even your kids see it & that’s a huge problem. Find a job, move out, get them babies in daycare/school, divorce him, and live your life. He’ll see all he’s missing in you & want you back but stand up for yourself for your children’s sake. Honestly you should not have to question what to do at this point.

They always have said “love is blind” once you are out, you will see what you are putting up with is unacceptable and there is so much more out there for you!

I have a question. It’s one I asked myself before I had the courage to leave.
Do you want your sons to think it’s ok to treat their partners the way your husband treats you?
Do you want your daughters to think it’s ok for their partners to treat them the way you are being treated?
When the answer to either of those questions is No, that’s when you realise that you’d do anything to get yourself out of that relationship . Know your worth honey and it’s not being treated like that, I promise.
I did it, I moved on and showed my children that it’s ok to be on your own rather than in an abusive relationship, then I found the one that completes me instead of the one that beat me down . You deserve more xxx

Read Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr Laura Schlessinger. It’s also on Audible if you don’t have the time to actually sit and read it.

You must love the way he treats you and your kids because you are still there. Go back and read what you just wrote, you will find your answer there.
Why suffer along with your children?

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Ur kids need to remember that you removed them from a situation where they felt unsafe and unloved. Good luck, this guy is a bad egg x

Always think about your kids before any other man, he doesn’t love you nor your kids anymore.

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Get out ASAP before it’s too late. You and your children’s happiness comes first

Tell him okay, I will divorce you, there is a door, See you later. Sounds like an utter control freak and lovees to put you down. You don’t need to prove yourself to him. He married you the way you are. So he has the problem

Leave with your child as soon as you can. Find housing and a lawyer. You can make it without him.

Would you want your own children to grow up and be with someone like this? If you stay you are teaching them that is what a relationship is about. You have all the red flags. You just need to get your plan together to leave.

Run for not only yourself but for your kids. Mental abuse is not good to live with. Love yourself enough to know this is not how you should be treated its not going to change

Sounds like you need to drop this joke of a man quick! You have children to think of & need a partner not another little kid to raise. Good luck!

Honey - get out of there. My ex-husband used to do a lot of the stuff your husband does, & trust me, it’ll just get worse as time goes on, not better. Trust me, while it’ll be tough at the start, in the long term, you’ll be so much happier, & you’ll get your life back :heart::heart:

I’m sorry but he sounds like a narcissistic pig! Leave. If not for you, do it for your children. Neither one of you deserve to be treated and disrespected like that.

Get yourself a job, save a little money and get out. It won’t get any better. Find a sitter for your kids while you’re working if you have to maybe family can help. Just start planning your life without him

Get the hell out of there now! Take all of your kids and file immediately. This guy won’t change, you need to leave so you can find your own peace and happiness.

Please put yourself and ur kids first and leave, no point flogging a dead horse! He sounds like his getting worse and I wouldnt be surprised if it became more physical after reading what uve put. No one should be made to feel worthless and unappreciated and then told it’s all their own fault! You 1 million percent deserve so much better than that girl! I was in a situation (not as bad) but where I was constantly made to feel useless and not good enough, like I was always the one in the wrong and I didnt realise how bad it was until I stepped away and it was literally like coming out of the fog into the sun (not to sound cheesy!) It will be hard and it probably will be a struggle but I promise u it will be so worth it in the end! Happy to private chat if u ever need it! Xx

Sounds like he’s been more than clear that he finds you and your kids a burden, what’s more to question? I don’t understand why anyone who has kids by one (or more) men put themselves in an emotional and financial risk as a SAHM with someone who clearly has their own priorities, only to be stuck without options. He obviously resents that you don’t contribute (you stated that you stopped taking care of the house and taking care of yourself) yet you expect him to treat you with love, respect and kindness? Get a job while they are in school, take them with you to walk (you don’t need a gym for goodness sake) and find your dignity. Your children will respect you for at least trying to protect them but if you continue to sacrifice their wellbeing because you don’t want to change your life , you’ll pick up that tab later.

If anyone here feels the need to tell you to stay they can come and fill the shoes of a horrible and unwanted marriage. You see the signs, don’t wait for it to get worse. There are some men who just want a nanny and maid. And you deserve far more than a man who has no respect or love for you. Someone better will come along that is deserving of both you and your children.

Girl run!!! That’s 100% a narcissist you’re dealing with and it will never change. The fact he demands you care for him and his but it’s totally fine for him not to care about you and yours is the deal breaker.

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I’d leave. He calls you names and the kids know he hates you all so why put up with it. Get yourself ready and go. Find happiness elsewhere. You all don’t deserve to be treated that way. If you see this here’s a (((hug)))

Sorry but I couldn’t finish reading the whole thing. The first ti.e he said he didn’t care if me n my kids leave i would’ve been gone. Everyone is different but sometimes fall into the same situations. I too had a mate that wouldn’t correct his kids bad behavior such as stealing my jewelry, roll their eyes at me when I asked them what they wanted to eat, ripped my family photos. So I told HIM if he can’t controll his kids n they can’t respect me or my home then go visit them curbside. That was it. They were no longer allowed to disrespect me or my home. Of course that relationship ended a few years later but his kids contacted me to apologize bc they realized their father was absentee and just dumping them on his girlfriends.
Do whats best for you n your kids even if that means leaving.

Get your children out of this go to family until you are sorted
They will think it’s ok to be treated badly and on to the next generation it will go
You don’t need a gym you need to love yourself
If you want exercise go for a walk or run up and down stairs when he’s not there
Get your life sorted and then get a job
Ask yourself the questions and listen hard to your own answers then make your move
Best wishes xx

I could not even get through all that due to being so familiar from an ex. Just the first few paragraphs tell me you need to get out while you can. It’s only gonna get worse.

I’d have left a long time ago! Sorry but he sounds like a Grade A arsehole. If you don’t leave for yourself leave for your kids!

Run for your children’s sake !! Don’t make them go through another day of this abuse emotional abuse is as bad as physical it hurts where a bandaids won’t heal !!

Take your kids and leave. Make a better life for ur family where u are happy. And far away from that mess.

Is there really a question here? Pack your shit and leave. This man is not gonna change. He’s never going to care about you or your children. You’re only going to get saddled to him if you stay.

out out out!!! and don’t go back no matter how he tried to manipulate you!!

Just get away from him . Screw his narcissist ways . Your only there to be his maid and free babysitter . Do it for your kids and yourself . He’s a bully . Get a job and move .

Leave his dumb ass he should not treat you in that way he is nothing with out u . You deserve better and the kids do too

I only read it 1/4 way through to decide that if this was me, I’d be out … I (& kids) deserve better than this creep

Get the hell out why you even asking is that what you want your kids seeing and learning

pack up you and the kids and go get yourselves a life where you can feel happy and secure again
it will be hard. you will cry. you will doubt yourself, but you can do it. life is for living, not just for struggling and certainly not for the unhappiness you are experiencing just now
so go. take the first step to a better future

LEAVE HIS ASS. I just had to do it myself. It’s not easy and it’s scary but trust me you’ll feel better in the long run

I think it was on Dr. Phil he said “Kids would rather be from a broken home than live in one” so I think you know what to do but he doesn’t think you’ll do it.

Do you want your kids to grow up thinking that this is what a marriage should look like?

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No need for my comment except I agree with all the strong advice these ladies are giving you!! Pack up your kids and leave now!

Its done. Save both your sanitys. Part ways n carry on. Life’s too short for all that drama that aint going nowhere. Sometimes alone is better.single .

Wow! It doesn’t seem like a very happy environment at all. I’d move on personally and be happy single

Oh honey get out of there ! You deserve to be treated so much better !

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I didn’t even need to finish that to tell you it’s done, find somewhere else to live and file for divorce

You already know what you need to do, now do it for yourself and the children!!

What exactly are you staying for? Life’s too short to be miserable

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Ask yourself: do I want to live like this for the rest of my life? Do I want my children to behave like him or choose a partner like him? If the answers are no, you know what you need to do. Actions always speak the truth.

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Why do you and the kids have to leave?? I’d pack his stuff put it out the front and change the locks, He certainly get a big wake up,

Get the hell out of dodge and get those children out of there. Very unhealthy living situation right now. You know deep inside this isn’t good. No one deserves to be treated with such indifference and hateful words. My husband ever called me the B word or especially the C word he would have no teeth and the last time he saw me. Be strong and fight for your children. This will impact them long term and not healthy. Kids know and feel the vibes in a house. Time to go.

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Leave now, while you still can ,it wont get better, but only worse,trust me I have been there,lost my kids because of my ex hateful lies

Why are you still there. Not healthy for you or your kids. Your the only one that can decide what to do it and when. But why are you still with him?

I would encourage him to the gym and away from the house for awhile so you can put your affairs in order and gradually pack up your things. He sounds like he has borderline personality disorder… Do not talk about leaving just leave because you know murder and cyclic manipulation. This shit will not get better do not show your kids the example and waste your life. He is irreparably a kook…

Imagine your child coming to you with this scenario, asking for your opinion… What would you say? You’d say get that job, and leave.

I think you just answered your own question and know what to do

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Take your child and get the hell out before he does something worse to you and your child and dont look back. the pain he has put you through cant be forgotten or forgiven, and think about your childs well being if not yourself, go before we see your story on dateline or 2020. so many women have been killed by psycho husbands.

If I were you I’d be gone! You deserve to be happy and treated with respect

Get out he isready to blow

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Sounds like narcissism …run…it never gets better…you deserve happiness

Why us this even up for debate? I see nothing to salvage here. Find a safe spot and get your kids out of there. You need to protect them, and yourself.

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Read what you wrote and try to pretend your reading it about someone else what advice would you give her … mine to you is leave do what ever it takes to get the hell out of there … good luck

Time to go boo. No one that loves you would say such horrible things to you.

Don’t put your children or yourself through that

Put your kids first if you like getting treated like shit stay if you want a better life for you and your kids leave

Sounds like he is the one who needs the help you just need to get your kids and get a better life for yourselves.

Know your worth!!! Sounds like you know what you have to do. You deserve so much more.

love yourself enough to want to be free!

Get out of there. Love yourself and your kids first

It has to be tough to even consider leaving when you have been death down on a daily basis. Your self esteem must be in the shitter. I know this because I have been in it, with a “boy friend”. It takes a lot of strength to pack up you and your kids, move and start over. For me I had to kick him and his kids out. It was awful. I felt horrible for the kids, but the negative impact it was having on my and my daughters life was not worth it. I had to get law enforcement involved, issue a 30 day eviction notice and then he wouldn’t leave. WE WEREN’T MARRIED!!! but he had rights, even though he was in MY home. It took a while, too long, but he eventually left. Locks were changed an hour after he left. Legally I couldn’t change the locks, until he left. Again. He had rights (ugh). He tried reaching out to me after, with the “poor me” and I refused to return calls or see him.
He was bipolar and narcissist. Mean mean person. Since the day he left my life is back and life is great. What amazes me is all the people who saw through his BS and never let me know. I suppose sometimes we have to learn the hard way and boy was it the hard way.

It was not easy at all but in the end was so worth it. To this day. 3 years later, my daughter and I talk about that and I swear we both have some PTSD from it…

I stopped reading half way through, leave girl.

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He sounds like a narcissist. He won’t ever change. Run away as fast as you can!!!

Divorce him and his family why suffer from them

Do not walk away from this marriage, run!!

Plan plan plan get your kids out of there. You will be okay!

Life’s too short to be miserable

It’s time to leave and start over with ur kids

Leave, life is too short. Your kids need you to go.

He treats you like shit. You know it, your kids know it. LEAVE.