Needing some advice/ranting sesh, I really hate to be THAT daughter in law, but I’m going insane. Sorry for the long read. The background story on my daughter, she was born at 36 weeks with Gastroschisis, she spent 44 days in the NICU and has only been home for two months. Now my fiance’s mom decided that no matter what I say she’s going to do whatever she wants, as soon as my girl starts crying she runs over to me and snatches her away from me. Every time my fiance is holding her, she runs and snatches her away from him even tho my fiance hasn’t seen her all day because he has worked. I tell her that my girl doesn’t like to be rocked to sleep at night, and she still rocks her even tho she’s fighting her. Whenever I put her down for a nap, and my fiance’s mom gets home from work, she wakes her up, so my girl ends up getting overtired. When we are out at a store or somewhere, and she sees someone she knows, she snatches her away from me and runs off without even telling me where shes going. She will give her the bottle. Every time she starts crying, resulting in her getting overfed. The other night my girl was crying while she was trying to rock her to sleep, so I asked her for the baby, so I can put her in her crib well she got upset, and when my fiance asked her what was wrong she didn’t want to tell him, so he walked into the room and he said what did you do to her and I was like what do you mean why are you assuming I did something to her well he goes cuz you were the only one that could have done something to her well she eventually told him that I had hurt her feelings by asking for my baby back, and he demanded I apologize to her and I was like how come I have to apologize to her for asking for my baby back but she does have to apologize to me for constantly snatching her away as soon as she starts crying why is it that I hurt her feelings, but she hasn’t hurt my feelings when she does that to me all the time, and he was like she does it because it’s a maternal instinct and I was like well how come it’s in maternal instinct when she does it but not when I do it? And we got into a huge argument that resulted in me telling him a bunch of things that I didn’t like his family did, but they didn’t care how I felt about it. Like his grandma is a smoker and she’s constantly kissing up right next to her mouth and she goes outside and she smokes and she comes right back in and gets the baby even though she knows I don’t like that and another thing is one day I was going to feed my baby so I had made her a bottle and I went to get her from his grandma but she moved her away from me looked at me like if I was crazy and snatch the bottle away from me to feed her. When I mentioned that to my fiance, he said that she was going to do that no matter what because that was her great grandbaby. Now I just don’t understand why he’s making excuses for everyone else saying oh it’s your grandbaby always her great-grand baby when it’s my baby like I should have first say. If it’s a maternal instinct for his grandma and his mom it should be a maternal instinct for me because that’s my baby, not theirs
First of all, this is your husband’s fight bcuz it’s his mother. But if he won’t say anything, I damn sure would. It’s YOUR baby, not hers.
I would never allow someone to withhold my own baby from me or to go against what I want as a parent. Your fiance should be supporting you and be on your side. Is there anywhere else you can go? Leave him with his mom since he wants to take her side.
Ummm, it sounds like you are living with them - why? If you’re old enough to have a baby you should be married and living in your own place so you don’t have to deal with this kind of stuff.
Sounds like you need to have some serious conversations about boundaries…with both your fiance and MIL. That is your child and you make the rules.
I’d be pissed.if someone took my baby from.mu hands. You should have never apologized
I’m just saying… if it was my kid… I’d tell her back up. Waking her up from her nap and making her over tired is a no no. Taking her from HER MOTHER every time she cries is a no no. Just no. I’d tell her. STOP TOUCHING MY BABY. period. & yall seem to think shit is just peachy all the time. Sometimes LIFE HAPPENS.
Sounds to me like you live with them and should do what ever you can to get your own place. Your baby your day but at the same time it’s hard when you live with other people. I say pick your battles and let people help you out. The smoking then holding baby would be a hard no for me. My husband was a huge mamas boy no matter what I said, he didn’t change no matter what I said until he saw that he was about to loose me and the kids over his actions. He might feel trapped if y’all live with them.
You are the parent, YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR BABY
You need to put her in her place,if you are wanting to be a responsible mother,parent she should be thankful! I’m,raising two grandkids would have loved for them to have parents wanting to raise their own kids!
Bruh, you need to put your foot down!!! That is YOUR baby. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do or how to feel. They sure as hell shouldn’t be “snatching” that baby from you. How does that even happen??? Like stand your ground dude. Protect your child!!!
That snatching bs would have only happened once. Like you said, y’all live together so you need to move out asap. That is not ok!
Get the hell away from those people ASAP. That’s YOUR baby not hers.
She would not be able to snatch my baby from me.
there are so many people in f’d up situations. Holy crap!
Move out of that house. Problem solved
Move out. Maybe even leave him. You and your daughter are always going to come last. Me is allowing her to abuse you. This is going to cause all kinds of problems with your daughter down the road.
Sounds like you need to move out.
When she got close I would turn away from her and tell her NO! This is my baby, let me deal with him/ her
Girl that is your baby not theirs. You make the rules.
Your baby, your rules. You don’t want to give her the baby, THEN DON’T. I’d flip tf out regardless of who’s feelings it hurt.
You need to tell your fiance that yall made the baby… Not him and his mommy and not him and his grammy. He can either stand behing you and yalls child or you can go find a place for you and the baby and hes welcome to come if he will detach himself from mommy.
You need to make arrangements to move out asap. Try to get into low income housing or even a basement suite. This is toxic and will end up ruining relationships. Its headed that way already. It’s better and healthier for everyone involved If you guys move…
I know it’s hard but seriously PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN. You want to hold your baby and feed your baby then take her no matter what they say or what your partner says either!! You don’t want them to snatch her from you? Then turn the other way and tell them you’re enjoying the time with her right now and that they can hold her later. You also need to explain how important it is that a baby sleeping needs to not be woken up just because someone wants to hold her. They can see her when they get home from work when she wakes up! You are mom, they are relatives. If they don’t understand that you’re not trying to hurt their feelings then that’s their own problem. Don’t feel bad for doing things with YOUR baby your way!!!
I would have lost my absolute shit by now if I were you. You need to be straight up with her, don’t worru about sugar coating or hurting her feelings!! Or just don’t allow her around your baby girl anymore.
U really need to get out like ASAP. Im sorry but if ur man aint gonna stand up for u then its a lost cause 🤷 take that baby and run girl.
Time to put monster in law in her place 
#sorrynotsorry
Tell that bitch not to touch your child and be done with that BS
I would tell her to back off! Period. If you allow this, then it’s your fault, put your foot down.
Hmmmm I hope you didn’t apologize! I would of slapped him for even demanding such a thing… 
You are completely right in your feelings.
Move out. Period. And leave your boyfriend there because he is clearly too immature to stand up for you and his daughter. Hes not a man.
If you live there move out and stop being a victim, speak up ypu carried that baby for 9 months. Grow a pair
I agree I need to move out it’s only going to get worse
That is so wrong. Tell them NO and walk away when they try to take that baby and don’t give a damn about how it makes anyone feel.
Obviously you live together, change that and then don’t allow her to see you’re baby until she can respect your rules.
No way on God’s green earth would I let them treat me like that. That is YOUR baby. If you gotta get mean and make things uncomfortable, oh well. She’s YOURS. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do with her and most definitely never let them think they have more say than you do over the child that came out of your damn body. It’s going to get worse. You gotta put your foot down mama. Good luck.
Move she isn’t the mom you are
Who gives a shit about their feelings. That’s YOUR baby you take that baby from them. SAY SOMETHING! Don’t hide behind your fiancé especially if he stands behind them. You’re it’s mother you know that child better than anyone.
You should put your foot down. Ain’t no way in hell my MIL WOULD GET AWAY WITH THAT FOOLISHNESS. UM NO MA’AM
In the amount of time it took you to write this post you should have been packing your stuff an leaving this guy.
I’d move out. Theres no way I would let that happen. They had there time to raise there kids it’s your turn to do it. Tell them to back of and tell your bf if they dont back off your leaving
I’d turn my back to her if she comes up to take your daughter from you. Just tell her no…she needs to learn boundaries it sounds like. I agree with everyone else to get out if you can.
get your baby and get out. that would drive me nuts. I have no problems causing fights and upsetting people though. Tell them to fuck off? Never ever let great grandma hold baby after smoking without washing her hands… ESPECIALLY with a nicu baby. & the next time you try to grab YOUR baby and someone gives you a dirty look for it… wind your hand back to smack that bitch and I bet her face drops real quick. I don’t know how or why you woman deal with this bullshit just to keep things civil. I will absolutely speak up and fight for things I don’t like happening, happening to my baby. The second anybody starts doing things I say I dont like, that’s the second they are no longer holding my baby. I don’t care about feelings at all that’s MY damn baby
Put your foot down, thats your baby not your MIL… She’s obviseley testing you. She has no rights to that baby an what that baby needs- your mom not her. Sounds like the situation won’t get better to only get worse on how controlling she is! I’d leave just my opinion. Good luck!!
The only solution here is to move out. I wouldn’t tell them either until the day you have the keys. Leave your daughter with a sitter and move your stuff. Otherwise they’ll manipulate your Fiance to what they want and it will be a battle. Obviously they want to control you. It would be easier for you if you just sneak out the back door
Stand your ground and tell her straight up, thats MY baby NOT yours. Start working on moving out because that behavior is only going to get worse
If someone tried to snatch my child out of my arms they would have a black eye or a bloody nose. Smh. Stand your ground!!
Move out. There is no way I’d want any of that happening. If you have to take the baby and check into a hotel to prove your point is do it.
Put ur foot down now or it will only get worse!! Ima assume u live in their home so that makes it hard to get away from them but I’d start looking for a place to move with or without ur fiancé and tell them all they need to respect ur the mother not them 
and until you can move out if you feel you can’t confront them on these issues start locking your self in your room and ignoring them and try to make plans that involves not being there with ur baby as much as possible
Leave him and take the baby why question this… Everyone knows not to live with or near in laws…
She does these things because you let her. Period! Stop letting people do things to you and your child that you do not want them to do or it will only get worse. You’re that childs mother and it is your responsibility to do what is best for her. Anyone else’s feelings should not even come near to being put in front of yours and your babies. Just tell them how you feel and if they cannot respect that then you will go somewhere else where you can be respected. Seriously, put your foot down and learn to say NO!
I’d lay down the law. Period. They can get over it or not. Same goes with the fiancé. His loyalty should lie with you. I’d think long and hard about that before saying I do.
I would bail out so fast. Put your foot down!!! Your baby is suffering from all this
Do not let her take your baby. Period. That is your baby and tell your husband to grow a pair and stand up for you against his mother. Your are the mother not her. She needs some boundaries set weather she likes it or not and your husband too. I’m sorry but I would’ve lost it by now
Tell MIL to back off along with whoever else and move out and get out of that situations.
Pack your bags take the baby and go. Tell him if he wants you guys back he needs to get you guys your own place. No way I would let any of that happen and his excuses are a joke u dont need you baby inhaling the stench of ciggs . You dont need him… if he loves u he will make it happen
Wow so disrespectful. Do you have a place to go?if so I would.
Run babe. This right here is what through me into PPD. Didn’t want anyone holding my baby because she almost didn’t make it.
GET OUT!!! RUN!!! GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!!! Things will NOT change until y’all do not live together. It sucks, but it’s the truth. And your fiancé HAS to learn to stick up for you and have your back even if you are in the wrong. If he constantly chooses his mom, grandma over you and your feelings, y’all will fight about it for life. This is coming from experience.
Your baby your rules he should always stand up for you.
I don’t know how you’re not going off on these people. Don’t bite your tongue with them. Save up and find your own place whether your SO goes with you or not. That’s disrespectful as hell.
Your not getting to bond with your baby 
Hell no that’s ur baby not theirs
Is she doing it because shè thinks she is helping you or because she thinks you cant take care of your baby? I hate hated when someone tried to parent my child. You need to grow a back bone and take charge because what you allow will continue
Sounds like you need to move out or send mother to live elsewhere if it’s your home. Bottom line you’re the parent and you make the rules. They can offer help without being forceful.
Ask her nicely to leave and tell her you need to bond with your child. And when it’s time for her to be the grandparent and NOT the parent, you’ll let her know. She should already know this. She is overstepping.
Tell them to fuck off. And don’t let him great you like a child. No one can force you to apologize.
If he’s not going to stick up for you, stick up for yourself. If you’re not comfortable with it, don’t let it happen. They’ll just keep walking all over you if you do.
You are the mother to your daughter and need to grow a bond together.
Sounds like u live with these people. Move out.
If she goes to take the baby, hold tight and say NO. Be firm. That’s YOUR child…not theirs.
Oh hell no… you’re not allowed to be a mom, not allowed to bond with your child, not allowed to do anything with your child… get as far as possible away from those women… and your fiancé needs to suck it up and choose you and his child over them… what you allow now will just continue if you don’t make a change…
Foot down hard and move out if you can. Invite your partner to move with you. I have a family member that’s swoops in and grabs my babies when they clearly want me but I don’t live with them so it’s easier to put my foot down. If it’s your place they are coming over to change the locks. Until then do evasive actions to move bubby away when she trying to take he or strait up put your hand up in her face and say STOP! Set boundaries of no one is allowed in babies room while she is sleeping. But most importantly get your own place!
Just go off on everyone and snatch your baby from everyone
Put your foot down. Next time she comes to take the baby, turn your back so she can’t grab her and say “I got this. She wants her mommy.”
I’d take baby and leave… and not go back…
Exactly what you said I the end, that’s exactly what you tell your in laws. If they don’t like it. oh well.
Tell her to back off just because she’s your mother in-law does not mean you cannot speak your mind to her especially when it comes to your children
If you have anyone you trust that you can stay with, I would. If you can’t leave soon, try to set up schedule time for them and baby. That might satisfy them enough and get them to back off. I’d still try to move either way. It’s always frustrating living with other people like that.
I’m sorry but you need to take your baby and get as far away from them as possible. As for your fiancé for siding with them! Bye Felicia!!!
Do you live with this innlaws?..if so do you live in their home? Newsflash if you do… Good luck getting them to respect boundaries and even more luck getting your fiance to stand with you. HE is your first issue. Its his family and it should be up to him to set some boundaries that make you more comfortable but he’s not doing anything to support you. My suggestion would be get him in line and on board first and the rest should be a lot easier.
like everybody else said, LEAVE. this makes me so uncomfortable.
This is how my inlaws were & my husband didnt do anything about it till resently. My 1.5yo was overly tired and crying and his mom came and snatched her from me as I was laying with her to put her to bed, choking me with her elbow & scratching up my daughter. (Im pregnant with twins) we got in a huge argument which led to her shoving me into several walls and door jams, jabbing her elbows into my stomach etc. I had to call my husband to come across the street from her house. (We were staying at his grandmas that was across from his moms) which led to her calling me unfit, worthless, pathetic, a nobody. Etc. And tried to bring up self harm issues from when I was 16 🤷 he put his foot down that night after witnessing her shoving me into several walls after putting my daughter down, and put her out the house.
Put your foot down before it goes too far ! She wasnt able around me or my daughter for a good month and even now, she barely sees her. I wont go to her house and she isnt welcome to ours. And if she wants to see our daughter we drop her off for an hour or two. Just long enough for us to cook/clean/ etc. And then my husband goes and gets her. 🤷
Tf. YOUR BABY, who cares what your fiancé feels, your MIL is so far outta line, you keep letting you do the things it only gets worse clearly, you need to stop her in her tracks. That’s your child not hers. You’re the mother. Speak your mind. You need to stand up for yourself and your child, especially if you know you child and what she does or doesn’t like.
Family member you could live with? This environment is not working. Her house I am guessing. ‘NO ONE’ was allowed my son when taking a nap!! But I didn’t live with a MIL. I would not last very long if I had to do that. Otherwise stand your ground, ‘snatch’ ? Hold your baby close to your chest and walk away.
You need to put your foot down NOW or it will only get worse as the baby gets older!!! Do NOT be afraid if they fight back, remind them who grew that baby for 36 weeks and had how many hours of labor and delivered her! Smack their hands if they try to take the baby from you, or hold on to her for dear life and say this is MY CHILD, you already raised yours. If I want help, I’ll ask
If you can’t make them leave your home or you and your husband can’t move out I would call a family meeting and tell everyone how it’s gonna be. Even if every one ganged up on me I would stick to my guns and say your not gonna touch my baby if I say so. Lock yourself in the baby’s nursery with her. I would get really creative bc this isn’t a battle that I would be willing to lose no matter what. Even to the point of going to stay with my own family until my husband respected my wishes. I’m not saying divorce him or anything. I’m just saying tell him until he respects you your not coming home and that you love him but your serious.
One thing I learned is that baby is mine I do not have a scar across my stomach for some hag to come and snatch my child away from me even if you make enemies ohh well keep your baby safe and away from them
How your allowing this is beyond me. Take the reigns. That is YOUR child, not theirs. Set some boundaries. Your husband should support you. I think she is overstepping majorly. What she is doing is wrong, you need to pull her up on it unfortunately. Your the mother, what you say goes. I don’t think it’ll change until you speak up unfortunately. It may hurt her feelings, but so be it. You know what’s best for your child!
Grandparents need to understand they’re NOT the parent! I’m a grandma and would never go against my kids wishes for their kids! It’s sometimes hard but you can offer advice without interference! Put your foot down and stick to it no matter what! Good luck!
I’m guessing you are living with his family? I would not be able to deal with this constantly. I would start searching for a place to live ASAP! Hopefully your fiance will help and support your decisions, and if not at least you know where he stands
Move out. Finance is so wrong not standing for you either. Sounds like they all are against you.
Advice: Put her in her place. Your child your rules, plain and simple.
Also what they are doing is not good for your baby. Your baby needs mommy time more than any other time. They don’t need people holding them all the time except mom. It’s to stimulating and you need to fight for your baby’s needs. Also babies can get RSV just from cigarette smoke on a person’s clothing!
Take that baby and run far away from that crazy family
Sounds like u living by M.I.L house and in situations like that most times id either play by their rules or get out. I suggest u move if u can afford to. With ur spouse not on your side and nobody actually listening to u nothing is really gonna be resolved and meanwhile the disrespect will continue
From now on, if the baby is napping, stay in the room with her and keep the door locked. Fold laundry or take a shower if you have an attached bath or make the bed. Your boyfriend’s mother has got to learn boundaries
If he’s not going to say anything to his family (which sounds like he won’t) then you are going to have to say something to them yourself. Just tell them from this point forward If they can’t respect boundaries then they are not allowed to see baby. And as for your fiancé tell him if he can’t stand up for the family he helped create (you and baby) then he needs to go back home to his mommy.
Tell her to fuck off with a straight face
Sounds like you and fiance’s are living in her home. I think you need to work on getting your own place before it goes too far. He is going to stick up for his mom no matter what.