Hi guys. I need to vent. My partner’s mother never gives us any space. She remembered we had a baby appointment today and called us at 8 am today (7am her time) to demand we call us as soon as the appointment is over to tell her how it was. I just feel like she never cares about our privacy. It’s not even her first grandchild. She is mad at us for doing a private gender reveal and recording it for everyone instead of waiting a few weeks to do it in person at her house so we can “celebrate together” and see my partner’s reaction “together”. But instead, we are telling people in person as we see them for the holidays. She’s also mad that I haven’t posted it on Facebook, so it isn’t “public knowledge” because she wants to talk about it and post about it and blah blah. I just want my private moments back. Having private moments together with my partner like this is really important to us before our first baby gets here.
Your SO needs to lay down the law. You have every right to do things as you 2 want, especially in covid times. If she wants things done different tell her to have a baby, this one is yours!!
Tell her to give you some space.
Sounds like she’s excited and wants to be involved. Plenty of us out here have MILs who don’t want to be involved or could care less. Sometimes you have to take the good with the bad.
If you really don’t want to talk to her, turn your phone off. But it sounds like she is excited and just wants to be included.
Sounds like your HUSBAND needs to set some boundaries with her
Be a big girl and tell her to give you some space. 
Tell your partner to man up and say something or do it yourself. It is your life your baby and nobody else has a say in that…
Tell her how you feel. But also understand that her baby is having a baby. I always thought my MIL was gonna drive me nuts forever and she died just over a year ago. And now I regret ever having those thoughts. 
First, tell him how you feel, and that you need him to address it with his mother. If he doesn’t then you are going to have to. Set boundaries early.
People there is a fine line between being excited and invasive. My niece is pregnant and I’m one of the closest people to her. I am overjoyed about how things are going for her but I also give her space knowing that she is often exhausted and her and her babies father need their space to make decisions and enjoy this time. This is in no way too much to ask for. I’d tell your SO that you want your privacy with him and that you dont feel your able to really get to enjoy this first time with just him and to get the situation with his mother under control
You need to get over your “this is my child” bullcrap and realize the child has more family than just his/her parents. Include them instead of shutting them out. First grandchild or not, each one is a life worth celebrating.
You are such an ingrate grow up
Set your boundaries. Tell her that its your pregnancy and your baby.
Your husband needs to step up and tell his mom to back off.
Don’t tell her when you’re doctor appointments are.
If you don’t take control now. She will always bully you. Stay strong and stay in control.
Your body your choice. Your life is yours. Dont let her bully you.
Dknt answer the phone when she rings. Just message her later if you feel like it.
These don’t sound like “privacy” issues. Someone told her you were pregnant, someone told her you were doing a gender reveal and someone told her you had an appointment. You can’t have it both ways. You either want her to be involved as a grandparent or you don’t. Choose wisely… as your child and family will feel the effects for good or for bad depending on your choice.
Set boundaries now. I also have a overbearing, intrusive MIL who doesn’t respect our marriage or privacy.
Block her! And quit telling her your business
I will never understand someone being upset about people giving a shit about you. Try being someone who has no one give a shit about you. It’s not fun. I’d trade places any day to have someone i know cares
Geez some nasty women here
Just be upfront and honest with her about how you feel.
While the early morning phone call insisting you call her right after the appointment is a little much, she is just excited about her new grandchild. Better that than in laws that could care less if you n your babies came or went. Personally speaking!!
I just can’t with these damn post like really be thankful she wants to be Involved its called your HORMONES are pissed off and your taking it out on her read this same post 5 years from now and see the change in the difference on how you feel towards her and maybe you’re going to think differently about how you feel a lot of people aren’t this lucky to have somebody this who wants to be this involved in their life and it’s not invading in your privacy it’s calling they want to be involved just like how you’re going to want to be involved in your own grandkids is lives so maybe think about it from that perspective instead of being a stuck-up bitch who thinks these are actually serious issues GET OVER IT WE ONLY LIVE ONCE and if this bothers you I hate to see how you feel if your man left anf his whole family said fuck you instead of wanting to be there for you and included …
One of you told her about the appointment…establish boundaries.
She sounds lonely, and misses being a mom surrounded by her kids, i would flip it the other way, send her regular updates, pictures so she doesnt have to, soon your are going to need her advice and baby sitting etc. You always get more accomplished with being positive. Peace 
Better you put boundaries up now than waiting until after baby is born.
You sound selfish as hell. That’s her grandchild… Her son’s baby… Of course she’d want to see his reaction. Your husband needs to set some boundaries with you
Oml I had a mother in law like that. She used to open my ex husbands mail. She practically begged him to let her file our taxes. I refused. With my second child she pulled my exhusband out into the hall and told him that she didn’t like the name we picked. She wanted our baby named after her. I put up with it for 17 years and it only got worse.
OP sounds selfish. Heaven forbid your MIL should be excited about her grandchild and want to share in the joy of its life…how awful…
My son’s wife is going to HATE me if she thinks caring about my grandchild is invading her privacy. The MIL cares about her son, grandchild and you. Being in another time zone probably amplifies her desire to be a part of your lives. Moving into the house next to you is invading your privacy, a phone call to check up on you is love. BE GREATFUL
I’m stuck with my exs family who aren’t that excited at all that we are about to have a kid. I’d choose your MIL any day. Privacy is something you want then boundaries are a must though. Just have a sit down with her.
Grow up!!! Stop being so petty!!!
Why can’t you let her show her love and concern.
How about you don’t complain and be glad you have a MIL who cares and wants to know. I never got to meet my MIL and it bugs me daily. I wish I had someone to share those things with. So be grateful and be blessed. Not all of us have that…
You need boundaries and set them quickly. But on the other hand it may wear off a tad bit 
One day you will be the MIL ! Choose your battles wisely now! What goes around comes back around!
Wow, you sound selfish, I get mad over same reasons I wanna know how the baby is and all I want pics, so sad for the grandma, all she wants is involvement, best thing ever is grandbabies
have him set boundaries its his mother. my ex mil was way worse she lived with us she would sit and watch us instead of the TV was creepy asf. she wanted to go out on dates with us wanted to hangout with us 24/7. was way to much
I get she’s excited for a new grandkid, but you or your husband need to talk to her about how you’re feeling. It’s not unreasonable for you not to want to update her after every appointment, most the time there’s no need. Maybe just every few weeks tell her baby is growing on track or something to keep her involved. Ultimately, you’re the one who’s pregnant and can decide to tell who what and when.
Be glad she actually cares so many people don’t have that. Sounds like you need to grow up a bit.
Would you have these same reactions if it were your mom? Was your mom invited to the intimate baby reveal? If so then the issue really isn’t your MIL but you. Mother’s of the husband and soon to be father’s always seem to get the short end of the stick.This is her sons first child of course she is excited. You should really think about how you want this to play out in the long run because your husband and child are the ones who will have to deal with the consequences
Sorry, I’m a little confused. Maybe not enough information given for me to give a total opinion. From what I read, you seem like you don’t like her being involved. I have a crazy MIL, who completely invades our privacy. Tries to sleepover our house EVERY single weekend. Now that’s an invasion of privacy. But hey, I just don’t see a total issue here. If you don’t want your personal/private stuff on Facebook, then I understand that and she should also. But for me, not enough information here for me to say I think she’s invading your privacy.
Definitely stop letting her be so involved in things and you might have to tell her that she needs to back off a bit
Jeez these comments are ridiculous. Some of you are projecting way too much and this is coming from someone with shitty in laws. What you want doesn’t mean it’s what she wants. She’s 100% entitled to handle HER pregnancy however she wants. It’s happening to her, it’s affecting her, it’s her child. If she wants privacy she gets privacy. Period!
Have you tried taking to your mil? Have you told her what you want and need right now? Believe me talking about what’s bothering you is 10 times better than thinking she’s deliberately doing something to overstep. She might not know. If you haven’t had a conversation I would. If you have I’d put your foot down more and make your boundaries clear.
This has to be the pettiest shit I’ve ever read lol how old are you 15? Grow up🙄
You will think differently when your child is grown and you feel excluded from every thing in his/her life. Be thankful she actually wants to be part of your life and that of her grandchild’s life at all. There are many who would love to have family that actually cares about them.
Are you freaking kidding me. She cares get over it. Be happy she wants to be involved. There are alot of people out there that don’t have anyone. I wish this was my biggest problem. Lol
Well… I’m one of them Mom/MIL. My advice. Count yourself lucky she wants to be involved in your children’s lives… And you might not know it now… But somwhere down the line you will need your MIL. So suck it up and be grateful
Some people commenting here must have had the luxury of never having overbearing parents/in laws. Or they are the overbearing ones. Couples have every right to keep it as private as they want and to be the ones to announce things. Entitlement isn’t pretty on anyone
Maybe you just got the mamas boy
You know theirs people that wish they had grandmothers that would love to be involved n dont. So cherish it.
Not her baby. Periodt.
I wish that I had a MIL that cared. I say, be grateful and show her some love. She probably wishes that she did not live so far away
I can’t fathom what exactly are you complaining about.
Your partner needs to discuss this with her and set up some boundaries. If she’s mad then that is her choice … your pregnancy your rules. And for heavens sake don’t announce when you’re going to the hospital to deliver … unless you want company
Count your blessings. My God. Think of 199 other things to cry about.
Put your foot down now trust me
SO had to reclaim ur private moments, no one else can.
As someone who had an overbearing “include me in everything” MIL I feel your pain i barely even had time to bond with my unborn daughter and next minute I was welcoming her to the world.
You need to put your foot down asap because once baby is here the judging of your parenting starts and its not something you need or want to deal with.
Make it clear that she can have her input ad much as she wants but you won’t be listening to it as this is your child and she needs to respect that.
Y’all really gonna be actin up today because this woman wants privacy. Girl tell her to take a couple steps back, that you enjoy the enthusiasm and excitement but this is your pregnancy and you’ll do things at your pace. She had her pregnancies to do things at her pace. Yall seem to forget that its not all or nothing and that a healthy relationship has a balance. Sorry you got with a man with a POS mama who don’t give a fuck but when it comes to it its her pregnancy and her first baby and if she wants to tell people as she sees them like they did back before Facebook then more power to her. Not everything should be public knowledge. Relation doesn’t equate to power, mama says no MIL respects it. Plain and simple because if they can’t keep boundaries now it will be harder in the long run.
Sooo you mad because the grandma is excited? Whew Chile 
. Let that lady be happy with her grand baby because if she didn’t care at all you’d be complaining about that. Who complains about too much love? And she don’t live in the area either? A mess SMH
Talk to your partner first …then simply tell your MIL what you want her to know , when you have an appointment tell her after… the baby reveal you should tell her your not having one and you want it to be a surprise? And as far as plastering it all over Facebook tell her it’s your business and you want it kept private . I think she’s excited about being a grandma, when baby comes she might be even more overbearing
Set some boundaries clearly. Dont answer calls if nec.
Everyone raised differently. Respect the op who is a private person. There’s one thing to be excited, and then there’s smothering. One thing I learn is ‘excited people’ will keep inching in more if u don’t ever put your feet down. Everyone keep telling private, quiet introverts to open up and let people in, but no one talk about the other side to respect ppl more. You all be offended that she wants privacy?
It’s a grandma thing!
Trust me you’ll so realise how much you’ll need them the minute they’re here
The complainant sounds terrible and ungrateful to say the least! I thought she had a real problem. Well madam, it is called love and all u have to do is learn to receive it. Next post please!!
To the ones who have a problem with the MIL, y’all are sad ASF! It is not the fault of the world that y’all were dealt the bitter part of life! Get help folks so that you can recognize the following: Love, care and affection!
Remembering about an appointment and asking you to let her know how everything went is “demanding”? I call that showing you she cares about your and the baby’s welfare. If she never bothered to even ask you would say she didn’t care. Wanting to be included or celebrate as a family is infringing on your privacy, Golding her back from bragging about the baby is infringing on your privacy? I truly think the problem is you. I think YOU don’t want to include her as “family”, YOU want to silence her joy about your baby so you are controlling the announcements person by person and waiting until she slips saying something to someone so you can complain it was your privilege to tell people not her. I have a feeling your MIL was close at some point with your partner but you are making sure that wedge in between them is you.
Just an fyi MIL’s are like this with everything in my experience. You’re just going to have to ignore her and do your thing, cause eventually she’ll just make you lose your temper if you let it get to you.
Wow just share more with here and dont be so private, the baby needs a village, and a good Example of Family and community
I’m sorry but this really is not an issue. I wish I had a MIL or mother to be showing me love. Please let her be part of the pregnancy. You will be needing her help when baby is here. She’s just excited as a grandma.
I do understand some mil are ocwr the top I hate mine for different reasons but you will really need to the help at times when baby is here and sounds like she just really loves her grandchild
Honestly you need to set boundaries. Be honest with her and tell her how you feel, respectfully. And tell her she has no voice in the matter, also respectfully. If you don’t stop it now, it will continue.
I understand where she’s coming from and I understand where your coming from but yes she should give you both space
She sounds like she is very interested in her son and grandchildrens lives…
meh be thankful she’s involved… don’t answer her calls when you don’t want too… but if she passes suddenly you’re going to really miss those calls. sorry I miss my MIL she passed away suddenly and as much as she annoyed me I miss her every day and it annoys me to see people bitching about theirs trying to be involved …
Sounds like she’s excited. 
You don’t have to call right away? Tell your husband to talk with her. MIL tend to get a bit excited about babies. It does not matter if it’s the 1st or the 10th
Most people could only wish for this type of caring & openness relationship with their MIL
Just set some healthy boundaries. It’s not like she’s physically close enough to just barge in. You don’t have to answer every text and call. No response is a response.
What i would give for that 
At least she’s that excited and interested
You need to set some boundaries like NOW. This is your life your baby you get to make the rules. You also don’t have to take her calls at 7 am. Its called silent mode 
Honestly it sounds like she’s just excited about the baby and wants to be included. But if it bothers you, maybe the two of you should sit down and talk about it and come to a mutual understanding.
When someone calls you to ask you to call after an appointment to let them know how it went, that’s typically a nice thing for them to do. Say, it went well. Thank you for asking.
I think you have other problems with your MIL because none of this is particularly intrusive.
I personally have the same issues. I don’t think anyone else will understand unless they’re going through it also. My husband is a major mamas boy. So we NEVER had privacy at all. Still really don’t. All I’d suggest would be to set boundaries as much as possible and hopefully that works for you! My MIL, personally, doesn’t listen to any boundaries/rules unless they come from my husband. Even then, sometimes it doesn’t work. If it gets to be too much, I’d stop communication for awhile. We did that and it seemed to send the message that we were serious about what we were saying, and if she didn’t listen, we would stop communication again. 
My advice is as I told a friend. You tell us you need space.will now we are telling you we need our space. We will let you know when and if we want you to know.
She just wants to be involved with you both. I am a MIL but I give my kids lot’s of privacy. But thankfully they include me in their joyous and happy moments. For which I am very thankful!!
I feel shes probably struggling I dont think it’s about u or your child I think she might be so used to being kept in the loop with her son since he was a baby that she might be finding it hard to let go…my advice talk to her and maybe say to ur husband to take some time out just for him and his mum I feel things might change for you then…
She honestly seems excited… id talk to her but still.include her that will be her grandchild…
Stop telling her everything
Honestly it sounds like your the one with the issue. She wants to be involved in her grandchild’s life. Nothing wrong with that. Sounds like you have some growing up to do!
Been there . Get it sorted now while u can blame the hormones 
Set boundaries now or she’s gonna be pushing her way past security when you’re in labor
Set boundaries NOW. It’ll get worse later after its born.
I’d be grateful she wants so much to do with a new baby maybe seems overwhelming but think about if she didn’t give two craps!? I can tell you it’s not cool either
Set boundaries and stick to them or it will get worse and more overwhelming once baby is born.
Everyone saying she’s (Mil) caring and loving and just wants to be involved will be the same ppl saying she’s (Mil) stepping over the line if OP posts later on that Mil wants to be at delivery 
(which I’m assuming will happen considering how involved Mil wants to be)
It’s a hard thing to let your child (even though they r grown) go. I don’t think she’s doing it to intrude on ur privacy purposely. We love our kids & want to b a part of their lives even when they leave us. Maybe just have a talk with her. If she’s a kind lady it might hurt her feelings a little, but she should understand.
Just remember this… how you love your children how you would do anything for them and how are apart of there life and always will be… well you will also be a mother in law one day, so treat yours like you would like to be treated when your one cause karma has a way of coming back 3 folds on you. It dosent matter if it’s there first, last or in between they are still happy for every grandchild. Also some people have shitty parents which turn into crappy grandparents, or don’t have grandparents at all as they have past. You should count your blessings these people want to be in your life and your child’s and you will be in there position on day as well. And how you treat others will one day come back on you how you will be treated. No I’m not a grandparent but I have 4 beautiful children and my parents, my in laws and grandparents in laws who I’m blessed to have in ours and our children’s lives.
Excited vs controlling… Big difference… Set boundries. She can be excited without social media! Its been done for years! But she don’t need to constantly be up you butt either. Tell her you’ll let her know, there’s no need to constantly call and text. Do you boo, tell hubs you both need to just explain to her about boundries and space.