My mother in law takes my son every weekend to hang out and play, which is awesome. But I’ve been finding things that we have specifically asked her not to do. She told me she’s been letting him lay in a room alone and cry himself to sleep (he is eight months old), she’s been giving him water and juice, which I’m uncomfortable with, and she’s been dragging him along with her everywhere when she goes to the store which we asked her to, at the very least, limit her travel because of COVID. My husband tells me to just try to forget about it, and kind of makes me feel like me being upset isn’t valid. Am I wrong for being upset about these things?
#!
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Stop letting her take him if you are uncomfortable. Yes your feelings are valid
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8 months is still very young. You shouldn’t allow him to go rn. Especially, if she is not complying with your wishes.
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Hell no that’s your child and I would fight until the actions get resolved if not then time to start looking for new childcare.
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Don’t let him go over there if she can’t follow your rules 
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My advice is to tell her if she doesn’t follow your rules she can stop coming to spend time with your son. He is your son. And you know what, your husband should actually be the one to take care of this because it’s his mom. Telling you to try and forget about it is him basically saying my mom can do whatever she wants with our child get over it.
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Too young for overnights, face it, your party days are over. Stay home and be 24/7 mom like you should.
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Don’t let her take him
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The travel thing cause of COIVID I understand. But the rest I dont see a big deal. He is 8 months and ready for those things in moderation. HOWEVER if you really dont like it then dont let her take him. Care for him yourself the way you see fit.
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You’re the one that is letting her do it so you can have your time
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No she needs to respect your wishes as a parent whether she agrees and or she can forfeit her interaction. Your husband is probably used to her being controlling and is trying not to make waves but he should stand behind you not still and try to please his mother.
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Don’t let her take him anymore
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YOU are the parents, it is YOUR child, YOUR rules & if she refuses to respect that then she should NOT be left alone with your child-period! Allow supervised visits.
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why you still letting him
go i have 8 month old who i sleep with every night no way this earth would i let him cry it out they get though another sleep
regression this age with anxiety i would literally flip my lid
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NOPE! Your baby your rules. Tell her she can’t see him until she gets it through her head.
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She’d have been cut off a LONG time ago. 
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She can see him at your house and that’s it. She could get everything from the store before she gets him but she chooses not to and the fact that she disregards what you says and your husband doesn’t enforce it would would annoy me. He should support your decisions as a mother.
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I watch my 8 month old grandson while mom works and I would NEVER allow him to cry himself to sleep alone in a room nope don’t let him go there till he older if she can’t respect your wishes UGG
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My mil and fil both know if they don’t obey my rules about my children they lose visitations. I cut my own mom out of my kids lives for being toxic I am not afraid to cut anyone else out
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I will withhold judgement that your baby is gone every weekend. That is like joint custody with grandma. Odd. She can’t take him for a day and bring him home at bedtime? The fact is, it sounds like you are wanting her to take him so that you can work, have a break or whatever. If she is doing this as a favor to you, then I guess you suck it up. You’re not in a position to make demands. If you don’t like it, keep him home on weekends and let her take him for a few hours like a normal grandparent.
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I think your rules are ehh, but still. Those are your rules.
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Stop letting her take him!! Specifically say you are not allowing her to take him anymore because of these reasons. Do not give in. Babies do not need juice, and it is YOUR baby. You’d decide what your baby can and can’t have. You decide if you want your baby crying it out or not.
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Been exactly where you are. Stop letting her take him. if she can’t respect your wishes as a parent, she doesn’t deserve to see her grandchild.
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I would not let her take him until she starts following the rules…
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Nope. Nope. Nope. You definitely get to make the rules if it is your child!
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My mother inlaw is the same she would always think she knows what’s best which is sickening stopped her from taking them she will come pick them up but ill hold strong and tell her no because of this n that… my partner gets upset cause he’s a mummy’s boy n he wants time away from the kids but no when u don’t listen to what I have asked then its a NO until she respects what I expect of people when they caring for my child nanny or not yall still have rules
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I see a problem with this. Your child so whoever is watching them should be following your rules. I’d be having a not so polite convo with mummy in law
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Why are you still giving him to her? She can’t follow your rules with your kid then she doesn’t need to have him
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the fact that shes letting him cry himself to sleep nope I’d be pissed af wouldnt be going back
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You have every right to be upset! It’s your baby!!
Just take your baby to visit his grand mother and bring him home then there won’t be family friction .There are very few things that I let my children dictate when I have their children .If you can’t trust gramma to make decisions don’t leave him with her ( however I would never let an infant cry it out ) ultimately everything is your decision but pick your battles .
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You still let her see him even though you’re aware she’s neglecting him and putting him at risk?
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You’re the mama. What you say goes. Even if that means no weekend visits for the time being, but explain why.
You are not wrong for being upset this is YOUR baby and he’s only 8 months old! I’d no longer allow her to take him.
If you don’t respect my rules you won’t watch my child, period. I don’t care who you are
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My mil hit the road when she tried this shit. Nope.
Stand your ground.
I would definitely have a talk with her…your child your rules she needs to understand that
This is how I see it. Yes your feelings are valid and you should express them civilly if it bothers you that much. However! She sounds like a big help so maybe on some things pick your battles. If there’s no harm being done it’s not worth getting upset over the tiniest things
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Easy if she doesnt listen to your rules dont let her take him
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If she can’t follow your parenting rules with your baby, she doesn’t get to have overnight visits with your baby. Period. Water over 6 months is okay in small amounts, but babies don’t need juice, especially under 1 yr. Infants should never cry it out. This is your baby, not hers.
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Hell no. She wouldn’t be taking him alone anymore
Let me get this straight, you have someone who loves your child enough to take him every weekend and give you a break, or to give you time to yourself, or time to share with your husband and you are picking her apart. She is teaching your child to self soothe, which as a helicopter mom you cant do…she is giving the child juice and water, she is hydrating the child, is the child over weight or diabetic? Bet your mom gave you juice and water. She takes the child out of the house. You say she drags him…highly doubtful, she uses a carseat and makes sure she’s careful keeping in mind the babies schedule. Yeah, I say you are creating issues where they dont exist. If you dont like it dont send the child easy as that. Deny your child the experience of his grandma…just to solve your issues.
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Stop the visits if she can’t respect your wishes with YOUR child. That is not ok at all
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It’s odd that you don’t have your baby EVERY weekend. That’s weird to me… stop letting other take him. I mean if so done was giving my 8 month old juice and letting him cry himself to sleep. They’d be lucky if I didn’t absolutely lose my shit on them.
She shouldn’t be giving an 8 month old juice. She shouldnt be leaving him alone to play, and she should be following your bedtime routine. Tell your husband to man up. Dont forget about it. Confront her and him.
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Take away her weekends until she learns to follow your rules. Plain and simple.
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Don’t let her walk all over you and your wishes.Sounds like it’s time to put your foot down. You’re the mother, not her.
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My mother in law was the same way, she added sugar to my sons formula and on top of that she was using twice as much formula powder as she was supposed to be and made my son sick then blamed us but once we called her out on it she stopped helping take care my son altogether because clearly as much as she likes to think she successfully raised 3 kids even her own kid was shocked that was the case after seeing the dumb shit she was doing. I told my boyfriend if she doesn’t want to follow our rules she won’t be apart of his life
Your husband is wrong . My husband tells he’s mom stuff wen ever we see she doing stuff she ain’t supposed to do . Or even my mom .
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I trust my dad with my child so I’ve never set rules. Is there a reason you don’t trust her and have these rules? If not just pick your battles. If it really is a big thing then don’t allow her to babysit. In the end it’s your choice.
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We sometime have to pick our battles however she should respect you if you ask. Maybe just kindly say I’m so grateful for the time you spend with the grand baby but it makes me uncomfortable when you do … sometime we grandparents have different ways bc that’s what we did with our babies . The taking him places with the virus is much more understood. But the other 2 if he isn’t hurt or it’s not making him sick he will be fine maybe she don’t know that it makes you uncomfortable . Just always try to keep the peace we do love our grandkids . I think she will respect that you come to her . It sorta puts your hubby in a bad situation to have to pick and choose he wants y’all to be ok with each other bc he loves you both! However if you ask nicely and she don’t respect what you say then maybe your hubby should
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Your rules are your rules. If you don’t like her doing things with him that you don’t like, don’t let him go over for the weekend.
Sounds like YOU need to put your foot down.
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I’d be telling her if she can’t respect and follow the rules u and ur husband have for your child she can’t take him until she can follow them. I’d also be pissed if someone was letting my 8 month old cry themselves to sleep I don’t believe in CIO method… plus he shouldn’t be playing himself without being watched
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If she can’t respect your rules than she doesn’t need to have him, end of story.
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Only one way to fix it, stop sending him over every 2nd weekend and parent him yourself…
Juice shouldn’t be given to an 8 month old. Way too much sugar… Only water is needed…
Little bit of crying it out won’t hurt. No need to jump everytime they cry…
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Keep your kid on weekends problem solved
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My in law did this . So I limit her contact. I’m not sorry… She does it on purpose, she doesn’t care.
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My pediatrician told me to give my son diluted juice when he was 4m old because he had problems with his bowel movements. As long as it isn’t taking away from his normal feeding. If you don’t let him Self soothe are home, tell her. My son is 14m and to this day, he’s never cried himself to sleep. I always rock him. I agree with the limiting trips in public. He’s 8m if you know you’re getting him, get your trips out of the way before he comes.
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I went through this EXACT THING…my ex and his mother were twins… I had no support on my parenting style. We ended up splitting and 9 years later its the same crap. She acts like the mother which she isn’t and I HATED that.
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Here is the deal i think she should absolutely follow your wishes with your child if you have voiced those to her , i would definitely continue to ask her to stop those things if you aren’t comfortable with it. I would have a talk with her and tell her if you cannot respect my wishes for my child we are going to have to limit the visits to your home or when you are around.
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I have had issues with the same thing. After years of arguments I find it best to remind yourself you are the parent and she had her kids. Talk to her and your husband. If she doesn’t follow the guidelines keep him home.
IMO you can either not let him go or get over it. (Except the cry it out part) Your feelings are COMPLETELY valid!! But sometimes we have to be willing to give a little bit. Pick our battles. You could also have a talk with her like hey don’t do this again or he can’t come over. 
Sorry but I don’t agree with letting a child cry till he/she falls asleep… if I found out that my mom let’s my child cry hisself to sleep he wouldn’t be going there anymore! Simple… if she carnt follow and listen to your rules then why should she have the right to hve your child.
Personally I wouldn’t let my mom have my child over night anyway
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Easy if they don’t respect your rules don’t allow her to keep him anymore. No matter who ya are.
I’m a grandparent myself and I would never undermine my children’s rules for their children.
That’s not my place.
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Not saying she is in the right but I have covid and a child with a serious heart condition and we are all fine no hospital or anything. I hope that makes you feel a little better however as mom she needs to respect your rules!
She wouldn’t be watching my kid anymore. Simple as that.
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Hell No he’s your child
Imagine being such a lazy parent you pawn your child off every weekend but then get mad they don’t follow your rules 
How about you take care of your own child?! You’ve had this baby for 8 months and you need a break EVERY weekend? Get real lady…
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I would sit down with her husband and say these are the rules if your mother cannot follow them she’s not getting our child for the weekend, now sign it!
This must be American. My mum and dad are dying to cuddle my babies. We aren’t allowed to leave them with grandparents! 
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Im a nan i certainly would never overstep the mark if asked not to do certain things that is well out of order i have all sons with partners and i would respect there childrens mums everytime
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I’d stop sending my child!! Mine didn’t do sleepovers until he was a year old.
If you trust her don’t worry that she would never put him in harms way. She probably adores him.
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Absolutely not. Respect your wishes or no more overnight visits.
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At this point I’m not sure who’s worst you or the grandmother.
You continues to send your child over there knowing 1. Grandmother gives your child juice 2. Letting him “cry it out”
Only one I feel for is that poor baby
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Nope you are not wrong
If she can’t respect your rules & wishes then its time you cut back on allowing her to do all the things you’ve been allowing. Because its only gonna get worse when he gets older.
I’m thinking you’re wanting to solve this and keep the peace in the family, since she’s grandma to your son and I understand that. You know it’s not right that she’s doing this and I’m not sure what her prob is on not respecting your wishes. It’s probably best to tell her that overnights are not working but when he’s older he can stay overnight. I’d limit her to daily visits only if she can shop before taking him for a few hours.
Here are my thoughts your MIL is taking her grandchild and spending time with her grandchild. While you are child free every weekend. If you are really concerned about covid-19 why are you letting your child go to grandma’s during the pandemic. It is still putting your child at risk. Because both parties are obviously still going out and doing things even without the child. Your child is also 8 months old children can be given juice after the age of 6 months. Unless you feel your child is in danger which I assume you don’t given the fact that your child goes with grandma every week. Or if your child has some kind of food allergy why are you given grandma rules she has to follow? She obviously raised one or more children before your child came along. If she was doing crazy stuff with your child then I could see setting rules. I don’t see what she is doing as excessive or over the top.
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Stop sending your LO until the MIL respects your parenting choices
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Why are you sending your baby there again ? Do you not know this is why you don’t just leave your baby with anyone else?
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Oh hell no…my 8 YEAR old isn’t allowed to go to stores with people. Heck she is barely allowed to be by people except outside and if it is anyone outside of certain family then they may have been exposed to Covid, she has to wear her mask at all times and not approach anyone.
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That’s nothing to really get mad over other than the extra travel
Na…tell her to get it together or get lost. She raised her child. This is yours.
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If that was me I would put a stop to her seeing him unless she respects your choices for lo.
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Some of these things would NOT be okay according to most pediatricians. Especially juice which at 8 months old can cause issues with hydration, transitioning to solids, and dental health. She should respect your wishes because it is your child. You get to make the choices whether or not she likes that. It’s hard for those from other generations because parenting practices have changed a lot due to an increase of research findings. More than anything, consistency is important and in order to reinforce habits and help your baby feel safe, your kiddo needs that consistency to know what to expect. Crying it out is controversial. Something like graduated extinction might be a compromise you both can live with, but if this is only happening when she has the baby then it’s sending mixed signals to your child. Such inconsistency would cause more harm and be detrimental to sleep patterns in the long run. It’s not teaching your baby to “self soothe.” For your baby it could be confusing at best or traumatizing at worst. Sleep/nap routines need to be the same no matter who is caring for your child. Your baby will respond better and fall asleep quicker with established routines anyway so it’s really a win win for everyone. Look into different sleep training methods if that’s something you want to do, and include your MIL in that. Pass the books onto her so she feels involved, and then let her know what method you will be adopting so she can learn about it in a way where she won’t feel defensive or attacked. In your conversation try to approach it like you’re on the same team, and rather than telling her she’s doing it wrong just focus on conveying things as your parenting choices, the need for consistency. Tell her you want to work together. Ultimately you both have the same goal of ensuring your baby is happy and healthy. If the conversation is not well received and you feel like you need some back up since your husband doesn’t seem to want to get involved, I would ask your pediatrician for a print out of best practices you can take to her and tell her it’s the doctors instructions. Most will recognize the authority of a medical professional. You might be able to find some of this info on the American Acadmey of Pediatrics website. Good luck!
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Dont leave kid with MIL if u dont like how she cares for your child
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Your child your rules if she cant respect them she doesnt respect you as his mom.
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You have to talk with her. How will she know you don’t like certain things if you dont tell her.
1st. Kids under one. Shouldn’t have water sips are okay now and again, but juice. Absolutely not.
2nd. I would stop letting your son go over there every weekend. Yes its a nice break. But, if it was me, I wouldn’t let anyone take my kid when I asked them not to do something and they won’t listen.
3rd. My son is turning 2 in October. I am verh strict on letting him CIO. (Cry it out) let alone at 8 months old.
I personally would just stop visitation and tell her she can come to your house. Until you feel comfortable letting her she can take him to her house. I hesitate taking my 2 year old anywjere due to this virus. I’ve had family pass away because of it.
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Woman like this drive me nuts!! Why try making rules for someone who has had kids long before you and is the grandmother to your child. Your husband obviously turned out fine. A grandmother needs create her own bond with her grandchild not raise him just like YOU. Like seriously if it’s that much of a issue watch your own kid and cut his family out his life which would obviously need to happen sense you can’t even trust his own grandmother.
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Stop letting her keep him until she respects your wishes!
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What happens at Gramma’s, stays at Gramma’s. Chill.
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If you’re so mad about it then raise your own kid🤣 Stop letting them go🤷🏻♀️
I personally trust my dad and mom
And my husbands parents 100%. It’d be different if the child NEEDED rules, like for a medical condition. These are just things you prefer.
8mo is fine for juice/water 
I mean aren’t they eating baby food yet? Are they not drinking anything with the baby food?
It doesn’t hurt that baby to cry 
And limited travel…obviously be cautious during this time but what do you expect she does with YOUR child while she takes them every weekend and she has some stuff she needs to do? Once again, keep your kid at home if you don’t want them going places.
As a last note would all this bother you so much if it was YOUR parent doing it? Or is it just because it’s your MIL? Because I find people get mad over more stuff when it isn’t their own parent, they hold in-laws to different standards. 
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Your kids your rules if you don’t like something don’t send them over there the only I would be upset about is taking him everywhere, what I’m seeing in this post is she does older parenting and you are using the new or modern parenting
Briana Renshaw Gaines,?
Nothing wrong with a little juice or water.
I swear there are so many rules nowadays. Most of us drank juice, water, and probably coffee milk by 9/10 months. If we did ride in car seats they were forward facing. Our cribs sucked… and they were stuffed with pillows, blankets and stuffed animals. At one point there were waterbed cribs. There is so much pressure put on parents these days. Leave grandma be and enjoy your time off.
You can keep her home but you’re going to look like an ass when you’re calling and begging her for a break.
First and foremost you are mom so what you say should be how it goes. But since your asking for opinions heres mine.
Small amounts of juice and water are ok after 6 months old.
Crying for a minute or to ive allowed but more then a few minutes I go in and comfort. Plus I know my son’s crys.
I did not take my kids into any stores ECT from day one of covid up until about last week. I personally am over covid. We are practicing BASIC hygiene as always. And my son loves hand sanitizer🤷😂
My question is. Is it necessary for her to go to stores while she has him?
Yup time to stop the unsupervised time. I go through this with my MIL and my mother at points. A few weeks of no unsupervised time normally does the trick. It’s crazy how at points we have to punish our parents into acting right but it’s 100% been something I’ve had to do. Remind them who the parent is and remind them that your rules and the way you parent WILL be law or they won’t have your baby
What wrong with water and juice. Children need both where did you learn this