Take care of your own child even if you’re sick.
Pick your battles. It won’t hurt the baby.
I wouldn’t let her be alone with the baby anymore
Good golly Miss Molly! How did your husband ever manage to survive such a wretched woman to go on & have kids of his own? LMAO
Guess what “new know it all parents”, we grandparents were raising kids way before all of your technology told you how to be perfect parents…Maybe shut off your entitlement for a bit, & respect your elders, you might learn a few things to actually make your life easier…god knows your kids would be better off with grandmas advice than Facebooks…
My baby my rules, I’ve had pneumonia for the past week and have had to take care of my baby myself, others would do things I disagree with and I dont have the energy to fight. Take the baby back from MIL and gently let her know that you are raising your child, it’s not up to her to raise her.
According to research 1 cup a day of black tea (NOT HERBAL TEAS) is ok. Maybe ask her to water it down and only give 1 sweet/day. If she can’t respect your compromise, then you need to find someone else to watch your kids… even if you live with her… which is gonna be… you know… fun. lol
When you know better you can do better, her saying she “doesn’t believe in that crap “ is comparable to saying she doesn’t believe in seatbelts or that cigarettes don’t cause cancer because she doesn’t believe in it. Sugar and caffeine should not be fed to infants. Maybe get a doctors note, or have someone else tell her. Unfortunately she may have to hear it from someone else to really HEAR it.
Do you think maybe you could ask her to water down the tea a little more? I mean it seems you don’t wanna hurt her feelings or offend her so is there like a mid point you guys could agree upon so no ones butt hurt over something so small.
Lighten up … She’s enjoying being grandma! My mom sends me pics of my daughter eating ice cream sandwiches for breakfast saying its kinda like milk right lol
You need to have your SO say something . Since she can’t seem to respect your words or you as their mother , maybe she will him .
Her feelings don’t matter - your child does. Establish boundaries and if they aren’t respected remove your child from her life until they will be.
It ur child not hers.
Grammas will be Grammas
Lmao take care of your own kid…mother’s have been doing it sick for 100s of years.
You say “if you want to be an integral part of my child’s life, you’ll follow my rules, as I’m his/her parent and you aren’t.” Pretty simple really.
Do you care more about being viewed as disrespectful or making sure your baby does eat things that aren’t good for her? Stand up for yourself chicka
Try please don’t give my baby that
I take care of my own kids sick and if someone did step in and help because I’m to sick not too as long as they werent giving them something they were allergic too or harming them … My grandma and my kids grandparents are spectacular with my children. But is the child like drinking tea and eating cake 24/7? 🤦🏼
I wouldn’t sweat the small stuff. I know you feel challenged as a parent. But she’s just trying to spoil her grand child a bit. If you make a huge scene about some cake and tea then your just going to hurt the grandmas feelings and keep your child from precious silly moments with their grandmother. No to mention the potential rift this all will cause with SO. It’s just harmless snacking with nana
No disrespect but this is my kid not urs I don’t want u giving it to her/him so don’t I’m not asking u not to I’m telling u not to period it isn’t up for discussion or debate u raised ur kids and I’m raising mine. End of convo. Or I just don’t let the kid go alone with her. Plain and simple. People need to know boundaries and consequences period no matter who the bell it is. That’s just me tho🤷🏻♀️
I would definitely stand up for yourself. I remember when my husband’s grandparents would watch our young babies/toddlers when my husband and I both worked and went to school. There were so many times she did things that were not what we wanted. It was so frustrating. And we did tell her. It helped a little, but not all the way. Luckily my husband ended up being a stay at home dad while getting his master’s degree pretty soon after. So we didn’t have to deal with it long.
Tell her to stop and it’s her last warning. If you have to tell her again, you’ll be forced to not allow visits. You are the mom, what you says goes.
While I’m all for “your baby your rules” a little cake and caffeine isn’t going to hurt. If baby was under one then I could understand your reasoning for being so upset. That’s the babies grandma I mean they do spoil. But I get it. Ur baby ur rules. You need to tell her outright how you feel. Tho a little caffeine is good for kids. At least that’s what my daughter pediatrician has said.
Caffeine isn’t the only problem withgiving a child tea. Black tea, which is used in most teabags, can affect how the body absorbs iron, which can havea serious impact on a child’s health. You could pretend something else istea or offer herbal alternatives – camomile is safe, as are fruit teas or just offer milk.
I feel you girl. It pisses me off to no end when people feed or give my daughter something tondrink that ive already said no to. I have no advice bc im a pushover and keep my mouth shut (they let us live with them -my dad who gives her coffee among other things- and i dont want to loose the roof over our head rn over coffee)
My MIL gives my one year old cafe con leche just a bit lol. It’s Cuban coffee mixed with milk. Just to get a taste. It’s all harmless. I wouldn’t get so hurt by it. I’m sure she’s not trying to hurt you or step on you.
Just put your foot down. Your kid your rules.
Either she follows your rules or she don’t need to be alone with the baby. It is that simple! What is disrespectful is her blatantly ignoring your requests for your child. Period! 💁
You need to remember they come from a different generation, one where they dippped dummies in brandy for teething and the likes… shes enjoying times gone by that she probably has fond memories of having cake and tea with her nana, sometimes pick your battles im sure she loves her grandchikd dearly, I would let mine spoil with cake and tea, if it bothers you that much tell her you dont mind the tea parties but could she introduce a non caffinated option for the little one but I doubt shes letting her drink a full cuppa hey
Stop letting her be alone with your kid and get an actual sitter. She clearly doesn’t respect you.
Set strict boundaries. But also say you’re thankful for her helping. And remind her, this is 2019, almost 2020. Not the 60’s
You’ve been Ill so she watches your kid haha I’d have to be put in the hospital for help, you’re lucky…of course she’s gonna do what she wants, that’s what a lot of grandmother’s do and that doesn’t mean it’s ok, you either have to suffer in silence if you want someone to watch your kid, or be honest with her and find someone else to babysit. Your MIL def sounds like the kind of person that’s still going to do it and just not tell you about it.
Y’all are better than me. I don’t mind telling anybody, my mother, your mother, ANYBODY to either follow my rules with my kid, or don’t be around. It doesn’t matter how many kids they raise, keep alive, and send out into the world as productive citizens. Your kids belong to you! Tell the grandmother to buzz off until she can follow your rules!
My husband is from Ireland. All my kids drink black, strong hot tea for as long as I can remember. In fact, my oldest was about 1.5 and in hospital for rotavirus (this was before the vaccine) when the doctor called the room to ask me how he was. I said I think he’s fine-he just asked the nurse for some hot tea and she was fetching it for him…lol
Put your foot down and tell her no. Traditional or not that is YOUR child not her doll!
It is hilarious to read these posts from young mothers and older mothers. Just hilarious.
You say; “hey it’s my baby and I don’t want you to do this”
Be a mother, put your foot down and tell her to stop. It seems simple to me.
Tell her that your pediatrician told you to avoid caffeine and sweets
Tell her to stop and if she won’t then she doesn’t see baby. Put your foot down.
It’s about mutual respect. My mom asks me what I do with my son because she remembers how her mom used to take over with me. So, it’s all about what you, as the mother, are comfortable with. I can’t stand older generations acting like they know better, when the world they live in doesn’t exist anymore. Their kids aren’t kids anymore, they’re adults having their own kids (for the most part I hope lol). It’s nice for them to offer to watch the child but for them to talk to you like that? That’s not okay. Don’t let anyone tell you what’s best for your child.
Tell her no it’s your child she needs to go by what you say an your wishes with your own child.
I’d be greatful she is watching your kid while sick . When I basically beg my mom to take my kids when im so sick she says . I had 5 kids and no one took u while I was sick
I would stop allowing her to babysit and not allow my one year old to have that.
Best you can do is simply tell her I’m not trying to seem disrespectful even if you might take it this way however I do not want my child to have those things. Please stop
My mother in law also watched my sons while I worked and also would put a little coffee and crush cookies and give it to them , the love and peace of mind knowing I could work with peace knowing they were loved kept my mouth shut and they are now 18 and 21 and love their grandmother
Wish my mother were still alive so I could bish about such things. She used to give my oldest tea and it drove me insane lol.
Speak up, or have your SO if do so I’d you don’t feel comfortable.
Or just be thankful and let her “damage” your baby. As it literally won’t matter in 5-10 years.
Sandy Hawotte what’s so funny? You’ve literally laughed at every single post telling her to put her foot down. If a mom says NO then it means no. Grandma doesn’t get to trump that whether she raised one kid or 50
Pick your battles. My Dad thought food=love and he loved my kids!
Have your husband also back you up and say the pediatrician said no.
Your baby your rules
You dont have to explain it to her. You say no, tell her YOU are the mother so YOU make the rules and leave it at that. When she starts to give something to your child, you intercept and toss it. If she throws a fit, you ask her to leave. Remember that we teach people what we will tolerate from from them.
Your child is cherished and will not perish from a little caffeine and sugar.
Just gotta put your foot down. My MIL liked giving my one year old Pepsi me and daddy were like HELL NO
Nope nope nope.
Your baby your fuckin rules. I would flat out tell her if she can’t respect your wishes she doesn’t get to take the baby. No questions.
Disrespectful to her, doesn’t matter. It is YOUR child
She’s being disrespectful not listening to you with YOUR child!!
Tell her straight, and take the child home or ask her to leave.
Just because she babysits, does not give her free reign on disrespecting your requests for your child.
If she thinks otherwise, she’s an idiot.
Free babysitting comes with strings. … If you don’t like it. . pay for daycare
I just say flat out do not do it or you won’t be seeing my son anymore plain and simple. I am done trying to be nice about it.
tbh I get it but my 2yr old swipes my cocacola if I ain’t careful - yea caffines a drug - but you’re tripping when it comes to the NATURALLY OCCURRING amounts in tea. Caffine is in chocolate too! Sugar & media displays is no different than cocaine on the brain! …
Pick your battles with your family; tbh telling grandma not to spoil your kid is a wee much even for me and I’m one usually to stand behind such things… but tea and cake? Oh come on whats your real issue with the woman?
Tell her your pediatrician told you not to.
Tell her to follow your rules or she won’t have alone time with the child.
I’m gonna be the out odd one out here you could have a way worse MIL …and tea and toast is Delish and it’s not like your one year old is drinking the entire cup of tea
Seriously doubt shes getting that much caffeine when it’s just soaked in the sponge cake. Maybe just talk with her and agree that once in a while is fine but that it shouldn’t be a daily snack… I’m sure you can come to an agreement with her…
Why is the baby with your mil ? My babies have never been with anyone else , sick , dying , handicapped and just out of surgery numerous times no free help or grandmas here
Post it on Facebook ! No one tells me what to feed my babies I decide . My kids tell me I’ve learn to ask now . Can I ?
no grandma would poison a baby with sugar and caffein. black tea affects the body differently than coffee. that being said given in moderation your child should be fine. its her house, her rules. just like when you care for a kid at your house, that kid would be under your rules, their under hers. if you dont want her doing this than pay for a daycare center to raise your kid. I drank tea, not in copious amounts but I did. at 2 or 3 my favorite tea was orange spice tea with honey. I was really young and how I know this is my sister whose 31 months younger than me was not either a baby or not even born yet! its healthier than feeding that kid sugary sodas. moderation is the key!
It’s probably a bonding time with Grandma. Unless you feel your baby is in harms way I wouldn’t sweat it.
Stop asking her to watch your baby
Easy don’t give mil tea and put baby down for nap when she is over and stop visiting her house
I’d file for grandparent rights and you could kiss my grits!!!
Unfortunately, youre going to have to just disappoint her and sound disrespectful (in her mind) by standing up for yourself and your child. Its your child, end of story. She needs to respect your wishes no matter how much experience she has raising kids.
Simple stop having her watch your child or suck it up.
Ok so obviously caffeine is not good for a baby/toddler or any young child. But honestly it doesnt matter if it’s bad for the child or not if the MOTHER of the child says NO it means NO period end of convo that is it. More people need to understand that. If the mother is uncomfortable with something it doesnt matter that means do NOT give it to that child.
Stand your ground firmly and tell her enough already. It is your child and should be your rules. Disrespectful or not be that child’s parent.
Stop letting her care for the baby
If you want a job done right do it yourself. The small bit of tea baby is getting is absolutely fine. It’s actually good for the body (big and small) the traces of caffeine in black tea are very small and again very positive for the body. Don’t like it? Get up, stop being lazy and take care of your baby how you want
You could always just get someone else to watch your child since she doesn’t respect your wishes
Explain your grateful for the help but she’s raised her kids to how she seemed fit …
now your raising yours how you seem fit …
Your the mother so if you say no it means no
What the fuck is Indian sweets! You must be from some bullshit country where tea is the main drink! Good luck with that bullshit!
Just tell her the pediatrician told you not to🤷🏻♀️ they surely would if you asked. Bad for the babies teeth at the very least. It doesn’t have to be a battle just say Dr said no.
That’s what grandparents do 🤷
Don’t let her watch your baby again if she isn’t going to respect your wishes
Honestly be grateful ur daughter has a grandma that cares! Some kids dont!
Your kid your rules. She had the chance to raise her kids her way. Now it’s your turn.
Seriously, that’s your child whatever your beliefs are if somebody tries to feed your child something that you don’t like you take it away and you don’t have to explain, that is your child she had her chance to raise her kids, it’s your turn. Put your damn foot down.
Ur child ur rules. If she feels some type a way, OH FUCKING WELL!
Your baby your rules. On the other side when I was a little more than a year I use to love visiting my grand and my great grandmother because we would sit and have tea and cookies. Regular black tea but it was probably 90% milk. It was something special we did together and a memory I treasure to this day. Especially since they are both gone now. I do it with my grandchildren but if their parents told me not to I wouldn’t. Not because I think they are right but because it is not my baby. I would find something else we could do that was special.
Tell her the Doctor said no tea and cake. To much sugar in the cake and I expect the tea has a lot of sugar or the baby wouldn’t eat it. If you don’t get used to sugar you don’t crave it., it is to sweet if you haven’t eaten sweet things for awhile
Well you could ask somebody else to watch her lol but I will say I loved toast and tea as a little one and I have no issues as an adult…if it makes you feel better.
Listen honey…you can only control when your taking care of your child. When you aren’t the one minding the child …then let it be…u can’t control it. If it was something that was affecting her health I would understand…but come on a wee bit of tea killed no one…when she grows up and her nana has gone…these moments will be her best memories xxxx jus let it be
My MIL fed .y son raisins out if trail mix, but not the peanuts, since I told her we didn’t have the allergy test done yet!
For the love of God …
Ask her what her mother in law did that she didn’t want her to.
Oh Lordy. Just tell her. I had to tell a family member how I wanted my son cared for. She didn’t like it but hot over it. The choice was listen or you don’t get to watch my son anymore.
Your child. Open your mouth and say “STOP!”
Don’t explain. You love her but you can’t allow your small child to have those things. The answer is NO.
If you don’t like what she feeds and gives your baby to drink ,then watch your own baby!Actually you’re very lucky to have someone watch the baby while you’re sick! Really you should be thankful!!
My little ones love having tea with mummy I use herbal tea maybe give her some rooibos bags no caffeine bubs can still have special tea time with Grammy👩❤️💋👩
She loves her grandbaby.she won’t harm it
tell the bitch to.stop.then tell your husband to respect it or move out
Do you live with her? If not dont take your baby over until she can respect your wishes. I live with my mom and when my daughter wants something she tells her go ask mama. My daughter is 2.