Digusting im a motherlaw an old one at that but no way would i do that i would be so upset if they all didnt come i would want the whole family .
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Sometimes I don’t think it’s a bad thing for an adult (even if they have their own family) to see the family they grew up with by themselves. Sure, maybe Christmas shouldn’t be one of those days, but I’m sure there’s some of this story that’s missing as to why.
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So was it always like this, or did it develop into this?
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Uhm thats his family. Youre not his owner. Maybe something is going on and they only want those who are close in family?
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Sounds like there is WAAAAY more to the story so I’m going to YES they are allowed to want to see their son alone
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I would only hope he told her ABSOLUTELY NOT!!
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DM with your cashapp tag for today offer:dollar:
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There isn’t enough here for me to give a full opinion. Does his mother have a toxic personality/is she abusive? If that’s the case, toxic is toxic, mother or not. Not all blood is worth your time or energy. What I will give my opinion on is the family that you made is your first priority.
Let him see his parents and you stay home. But my husband wouldn’t let his folks disrespect me and that’s on period
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Regardless of the back story, I understand why you might be hurt or annoyed. She could have asked in a different way or not excluded her grandkids.
Well, I mean… If y’all don’t like eachother why would you be upset that she wants to see her son on Christmas alone? You obviously don’t make an effort for visitations with you or her grandchildren… ever. So why on earth would you have any right to be upset? That’s his mom. How about this, take your post and shove it up your self entitled ass and lets see how that rides out.
So…his mom wanted to see him? Based upon your story, I don’t see what the problem is. I go visit my parents all the time without my husband and sometimes without the kids. It’s nice to talk to my folks and hang out without being distracted by my kids.
Honestly, I don’t see what the big deal is. She probably just wants to see her son. Personally, I wouldn’t care enough to let it bother me since we don’t talk anyway. And as for the grandbabies, that’s her loss. I’m not going to forces anybody on my kids who don’t care enough to be in their life. I wouldn’t want to stop my husband from staying connected to his mother. Life is too short especially these days and I wouldn’t want him resenting me down the line. Sometimes it’s best to choose your battle. As long as there are boundaries and everyone stays in their lane. 
My mother only wants me and my kids to visit if we do. My husband and step son never go. Same with his parents. That’s his family and I have no desire being around . I didn’t marry his family and he didn’t marry mine . Each family is different.
Yea sounds like my MIL but my husband would tell her her hell nah. As matter of fact he just did Friday. She was literally one street over at his brothers and she called and wanted him to come there he said nah I’m we’re I wanna be with my family said she could come by but she didn’t
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I don’t like my in-laws. But I’d never want to be the reason my husband doesn’t see them as I wouldn’t want him to hold it against me, if they died and I was the wedge keepingthem apart. So, I encourage him to see them without me (when I’m at work or busy doing something else). Although we have never said any nasty words to each other, I would assume they share as much love for me as I do for them. 
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You said that you none of you speak to her. I can understand wanting your kids to go but if you don’t like her why are you mad? if you sit in the car when you go over there then that’s probably why he was asked alone. Let him go.
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What is the whole story? There is a reason behind everything. Im not saying you are, but you could be a horrible person and I wouldn’t want to see you either. She could be a horrible person that you do not want your kids around… but there isn’t one answer because we don’t know the situation.
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You say that you don’t get on or even speak to the MIL so why would you even want to go to her house. As for the children she might want to discuss something that little ears don’t need to hear. It isn’t as if you have said that it is a regular occurrence
My bf mother didn’t like me. My bf doesn’t drive. I’d still take him and our daughter over. I’d wait outside in the car. When she was sick i took them to the hospital to see her. Its his mother. I went in for a few mins and than said i had to go. I waited in the coffee shop. That’s life sometimes ppl don’t like us… i never felt hurt over it.
Something had obviously happened where you and the kids don’t go to mil’s. I would never keep someone from their parents so if he wants to go he should go. If things were peachy you would all be going. They aren’t and she is atleast still inviting him- so it shows she wants a relationship with him still.
Ask him what he thinks. Let him decide. I think he should have the say, even if I do think it’s disrespectful to have to ask you herself to stay back. You can talk about your decisions later. You’re not his boss either, and you’re dealing with his mom.
My mother-in-law and I don’t have the best relationship so much that she has told my husband it was a mistake to marry me. However I still push for him to call her and see her. If she asked for him alone on Christmas the answer would be no. Not from me but from him. I would probably have to talk him into setting something up before or after Christmas instead. I would totally be upset if she asked to take him away from his family on Christmas day. I would also be upset if she didn’t want anything to do with the kids and he would be too.
Are yall not going in because of covid? Because they’re not comfortable or your not? As an outsider it sounds like she wants quality time with her son and if your not coming he feels like he can’t stay and hang out
Let him see them alone. While some ppl are more accepting of others there are Some ppl who’ll look at you & your kids like you’re a disease until you guys officially marry (sad but that’s the truth). But one thing you do know now is how they see you & your kids. Don’t let it get you down, just start setting boundaries for those ppl.
I wouldn’t even worry about it. Ok f you don’t like her and she doesn’t like you just stay away and let your SO have and hour or two with his family.
I mean if they haven’t spoke or seen him in a while I don’t see the issue I personally wouldn’t want my kids going to someone’s house who hadn’t bothered with them maybe they just want time to sort things out with there son before bringing you and kids I wouldn’t have any problems with it
Without knowing a backstory or the person that posted this…I don’t think anyone can give advise. We know really nothing of this situation.
We don’t know all the story so we can’t give proper response. But if he’s a grown man and wants to see his family then 
go see them. I
Why did she say that? Why do yous stay in the car? I can understand her saying that if yous stay in the car that is uncomfortable…if you did nothing to warrant that text then no biggie your fiance should know the protocol and already have shut that down
If you just wait in the car, I can see why she asked him to come alone. If you’d get out and visit, I’m sure things would be different…
This seems kind of vague. Like there should be more to it. Does he not normally see his mom? & was there a problem between the fiance and the guys mom? Did that problem in love the kids is that why she doesnt want them to come in? I’m just wondering
So let him go, y’all hate each other what’s the problem she wants to see her son without causing issues it sounds like.
If you don’t get on he can still have a relationship with his mum
Breeze in with the whole family. Nobody will put you out at Christmas and if they do, significant other should walk out with you!
I would tell him to go and please take the kids…cause why the hell not. I’d love a free moment, maybe that’s just me.
I want the entire story. Why tf do you sit in the car when you go?
I’m confused. You said “Mother in law” and “SO”. Does “SO” stand for significant other? So you aren’t married yet? You also said her “grandchildren”. Are these your children or her son’s or both?. I’m asking for clarification. If you are a blended family, and engaged It may change a point of view as to why she asked to see only her son. Sounds like you all have had a falling out previously since you “do not speak to or see” her already. Without knowing more details and what the bad blood is between you three. I’m going to suggest perhaps she needed to see her son to share some personal news about health, finances, and or estate planning in person given the pandemic situation. As for the children, if they are her biological grands then yes she should have acknowledged them on Christmas regardless. If they are your children and she hasn’t accepted you and them as family yet because you aren’t legally married to her son yet, then that sucks at Christmas (not that it makes it easier to swallow or right by any means but you knew it was coming from the sounds of the relationship having already had a falling out). Maybe reach out to her via text and say something about wanting to resolve your differences so your soon to be husband doesn’t feel stuck moderating between the two important women in his life. Ask if she would be willing to go to family counseling with you. If she agrees hash it out there with a neutral party to moderate. If she doesn’t, you tried to be the bigger person and can rest easy knowing you gave it your all to make an attempt to make it better for the kids and the soon to be spouse!
Good luck
…
Talk about it now and find a compromise because that shit …
Good luck.
Not a hope. Without People! In the car her grandkids disgraceful.
Let him go. She maybe trying to reconnect with him in private.
He should just call his mother by phone - that will save all the hassle of excluding you and the children 
I been there done that all honesty GET OVER YOURSELF yes its the hardest thing you have to swallow because if you actually go through with it and marry him you need to accept that they are not your family they dont want to be. It suck its hurts it constantly was arguing and bickering until one day I came in to conclusion that at the end of the day thats his mom (family parents whatever) they raised him so he’s always going to have that love for him no matter what they put him ( him me our relationship my kids their grandkids) throu. Let him go by himself if you have plans he needs to work around Your Plans He CHOSED you, you are his new family but he is allowed to see his birth family with or with out you. Getting married isn’t going to change their relationship with you if you expect to come together as a happy family afterwards call off the wedding now and save yourself the heart ach I know it sounds rude and heartless but I wish someone would of told me all this from the gecko much love and hope things work out in your favor 
If he goes time for a new one
My FIL would do that lol
Leave it alone it’s his decision
Are you sure he is seeing his mom
Who has the audacity to say stuff like that? You and your kids are just as much family as her son now. She seems controlling. Why is it that you guys don’t talk? Well I could kind of see why already she seems like a total bioootchh 
Shame there’s not more info, but there’s obviously a big rift that’s occurred here.
Does HE want to go? If so then let him, I would never let anyone stopping me see my family and therefore I wouldn’t stop my partner seeing his family. But I would ask him to do it after our family time at Xmas.
I would happily not take my kids to a place they aren’t welcome. Fuck being around toxic people, kids don’t need that.
There may be many different reasons for her sending that message. Maybe she is trying to heal whatever happened and make amends.
Or maybe she is just being an ass.
You won’t find out until, he goes, (if he is willing).
Waaaaaay too much drama. 
Rude, yes. That’d be up to him though if he’d like to stop by to see his mother. So long as its not ruining previous plans for your FAMILY. Her house, her time as rude and disrespectful as I find it, its still her choice who comes to her house. Im really sorry its like that for you guys though, I feel it. My so’s family wants nothing to do with me or our kids either. We’ve never even met or spoken.
Your man needs to grow up
And speak up for his family
If he aint yet
Hes not a man
Simple as that
I wouldn’t let her get to you. Dont know the reason yall dont talk or anything but she will one day regret not spending time with her grandchildren when they grow up and not want anything to do with her. Dont show her it bothers you because she will only do it more. Just do you and be there for your kids and always be honest with the kids if they ask questions. Hope everything gets better for you. I know how you feel though because I deal with the same stuff and it really gets old especially after 13 years of marriage but some people never change
She’s his mother,no SO should ever make that a battle. Your engaged to this man,think about how much it actually bothers you and either fix it or move on.
I’d wish that you guys would type the actual word instead of SO and so on …
What is SO ?
SO: what does that mean? I know what mil means