You will pay for it one day being that way if you guys live far away and both parents are elderly do you really expect them to mump I’m the car and go see you and your family… how about your kids since they are old enough reach out to them. Sounds like there is more to this picture then what you are telling . Sounds like to me you are a prude and sour person. One of these days your going to be their age and your going to feel it and see it when your kids and their families does you the same way
I’m sorry but there are some really petty people in this world. This post is all about u and how u feel. But u speak as if it’s about the kids. The kids would be glad to get any gifts that come. Some families just dont see each other often and that’s just how it is. 
take what u can and don’t dwell on it. Don’t take things so seriously
Sweetie the phone work both ways. you didn’t say nothing about neither one of y’all didn’t have no hands or tongue to talk so the phone work both ways… looks like she called the husband when the last time you called them or when the last time them kids called their grandparents?
You’re rude. You were wrong. Absolutely. No one owes you or your kids anything. You should’ve said thank you and been grateful.
Yeah you are. I grew up across the country from my grandparents and I’m so grateful my MOM put the effort in to keep the contact. A card or small gift from them was plenty combined with photos in the house and my mom talking about them. If they are offering and you’re refusing you are stopping the contact and it only hurts them and when they get older they will know they tried and YOU stopped it. The more people that love your kids is better for them. So many posts these days about “I’m not going to initiate if you care you will initiate” and its just self serving. It’s extra effort to be the 1st to contact and it may seem like a waste some days. I’m a mom of 3 who had some that chose to be involved and some that didn’t but never would I want to tell my now grown kids " I didn’t think they cared enough/the way I thought they should so I told them to stop sending you stuff or refused any kind of contact" . I respect my mom for sending school photos and updates even to those I know she personally didn’t care for. She chose me and my well being over herself.
Sometimes that is all people have to give, especially if he chose to take a job far from family. Have you reached out to them before this, creating a connection? Not everyone is capable of your expectations. Managing expectations within ourselves creates less disappointment. As a single mother, I’m happy if anyone remembers us at all. I will happily receive any gifts, giving thanks!
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Geez you sound horrible! Be glad they even think of them enough to want to send them anything!
Yeah. You’re definitely TA! I can’t believe you think you’re not. Lol.
I think far too many people are acting as if the situation is 100% black and white with no gray areas. What I am interpreting is that this has more history behind it than how it simply sounds. I have family members that think buying gifts and spending money is giving love and having a relationship when it isn’t. Maybe we should try extending some grace before automatically jumping to calling her an entitled, dramatic asshole. 
You are wrong, in my opinion. They live far away. They are older. It is up to the parents to call the grandparents. It is up to the parents to facilitate a relationship
What’s wrong with you what is your point that’s was family is you need to rethink this stop thinking about you Christmas is for children you should be happy they want to get your children Christmas you are so wrong
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Y’all ever notice the ones who are so bitter in life are the ones who hide anonymously asking these type of questions bc they know they are the crappy ones?
Buying love doesn’t work but if you make a decision for the kids they could resent you. I’d just talkto them . Encourage them to call first and see if family calls back. Make regular calls maybe like 1x amonth etc. With cell phones there is no exuse about limited minutes for the old fogies. My son pen.pals his gma . Kidslke toys even if itis from a stranger amd usually are not offended unless it’s like Been made a situation like where are they? Why are they not here raising you… that crap
I think you shouldn’t deny your children the gifts. I also only had contact on holidays and summers and I cherished that as a child.
You are being unreasonable… let grandma send her grandkids a gift . It’s not all about you…
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Unless you spoke up and said as much before hand I think your being a little petty drama queen whose in HER feels. If you addressed this directly to them before then no. If you alluded to it then you haven’t fully addressed it and are being passive aggressive. Also if they’re FAR AWAY maybe they can’t afford the trip and you’re sounding g entitled
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Sending gifts IS making an effort to stay in contact, as well as sending cards. Not all communication (and/or bonding) has to be done via phone calls. The fact that she is taking time to reach out to find out what to get them plus spending money on them, does show she cares and she is trying. Do you call her and let the kids talk to her or a simple text saying we aren’t busy if you would like to talk to the kids real quick? Communication is NOT a one-way Street. Telling them NOT to get your kids gifts it’s just hurting your kids.
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You need to chill out. She’s reaching out which is a lot more than some family’s do. What do if hurt if she sends a card and or gift at Christmas. I’m sure the kids like it!
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Let them send the kids gifts and guess what a phone works both ways!!
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I actually understand her point . YOU CANT BUY KIDS LOVE . when granny was getting ready to call she should’ve called the kids to ask what they want. The fact that she has to ask the parents means she doesn’t know them . Phone calls and visits work both ways . However Just like she call and talk to her son she can do the same with her grandkids and be involved it doesn’t sound like anyone is stopping her
Why would you want to keep them apart anymore than they already are? Be happy they have grandparents. So many don’t. What’s wrong with you?
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You are absolutely correct in refusing the gifts. If they do not behave exactly like you want them to you have every right to refuse their gifts. How dare they try to send a gift to their grandchildren. I wouldn’t allow such a horrible gesture toward my children either! Don’t they know your rules! They are suppose to be calling the children not just their son. Imagine a mother who calls her son who lives far away and asking what the children would like for Christmas. The audacity of that woman. Yeah SIS this is exactly what you just said!
let me tell you about the opposite side of that coin, I have 6 grandchildren and 2 greats. I have always sent them money for their birthdays and Christmas. I never see them, never hear from them, guess what, Santa is broke this Christmas.
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Look, not everybody’s life evolves around you and your kid. Especially older people. They get sick, they have to go to the doctor, there is no reception, or they are maybe on vacation some where without signal. Whatever the reason, your kids life and yours don’t make this world go round. Have some compassion for others and maybe, just maybe, your kids will have the gift to see more of their grand parents. Wow. Most selfish post
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Oh my Lord have mercy, Here we have a person who is complaining because her kids family wants to give her kids gifts for Christmas !!! Now I can see if she was pissed because no one in either family ever give/sends her kids any gift at all !!! I have nothing else to say…this is the most ridiculous post ever 
LOL
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Try to be more loving! Sounds like you have a problem 
My boys would love some gifts. Send them my way. 
Bottom line…you are wrong…period…what an ass
You can’t buy your grandchildren’s love. Just like being in an abusive relationship. You can’t just buy things and not “part take in their life” in some other way. The grandparents should make that effort. Not the other way around
Depends on the situation. My MIL isn’t on speaking terms with us. And only wants to be apart of our oldests life. My youngest she hasn’t even asked to meet and she’s about to be a year old. She would like to give my oldest gifts, but we say he’ll no. You can’t treat people like shit and allow it. Always depends on the situation.
Why would you stop them from getting gifts?
At least she cares enough to get them stuff for holidays. I have a friend who’s little boy has been excluded for years because the grandma is mad at the mom. He’s old enough now not to care anymore but when he was younger he didn’t understand how she couldn’t even send a card. They always do so much for the other grandkids. Be happy that they still want to send something. It’s for the kids not you. Be happy that they are still being thought of. It’s not their fault or yours that you had to move away. It just happens.
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I wrote letters and called my grandparents at age 8 to adulthood. It works both ways.
It works both ways! Do you have your kids call their grandparents???
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Oh sweetheart i hope I’m not a half time person I know i don’t see you very often but I think of my Family every day. Love and miss all of you
YTA.
Stop being petty.
Although I understand you’re sentiments… but they live far away and this may be how she feels she can connect. Once the gift is received have the child call to thank her (boom conversation) and write a thank you note… my strike up a pen pal type thing which could be fun for the kids too.
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I agree with you! Unless for some reason they can’t travel (bedridden) if they wanted to see your kids they would have visited or called. I would never go even a year without seeing my grands and on the flip side if you want a relationship with my 8 yr old call, send a letter FaceTime regularly. It is not my job as a parent to force a one sided relationship because society says so.
Don’t punish your kids over your feelings. They have feelings too and probably enjoy the gifts.
I think you have every right
Are you also telling your family not to send gifts or just his? Because if you are just telling his family not to send gifts then that’s pretty petty. It’s not their fault you guys live so far away and they don’t have a relationship with your kids.
If your kids are more than old enough for phone calls, they can make phone calls too. It goes both ways. You def are the one wrong in this situation, me not knowing y’all or any other details.
I lived in Alaska and the kids were in AZ. FaceTime 3-4 times a week and summers in AK were highlights. The grandkids are almost 30 and we still do FaceTime. And now with the great grandchildren. Takes an effort on both sides.
WTF is wrong with you?? Let them give money or send gifts… Thats whats grandparents do. Since you live so far away. . get out of YOUR feelings and get over yourself
I would ask my kids what they want and tell her the answer.
Wow! You definitely need to grow up!
Goes both ways. And so what? At least there is some sort of effort. My grandmother did the same. I knew every Christmas I was getting a card with a dollar for my birthday every year… and a shoe box of brownies and $5 at Christmas. And I looked forward to it every year.
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So…
im gumna give the unpopular but correct answer. the phone works both ways and you should call them. the fact they just send a gift even suggests they feel thats all you want from them. go visit them. give your kids their number and address let them build a relationship. you are your own worse enemy here. life is short and when they have passed on is too late to try. you wont get them back. you cant replace them and in time your kids will regret not having that so instead of being mad they dont come enough try a bit yourself. do this for your kids instead of try to deny it out if pride. this is not about pride its about recognizing the finer things in life… and thats it baby your family and lpved ones are more valuable than gold. so i say to you even if it feels one sided, they are older and their time is limited. shame on you for letting petty things keep what really matters from happening.
Your an a$$ you even said so your self you live very far away. Get over it people have lives at least they are making an effort my in laws haven’t even saw my my kids asked or about them or even care enough to give them a present so just let them have the presents
Never turn down a grandparent trying to make an effort smh… especially loved ones who live far away, we all get caught up in our own lives…
Yes, I believe this was rude of you.
Be thankful that they have a grandmother who’s trying. Bless her heart 
Edit: being a parent also means you put your childrens feelings before your own, this isn’t necessarily about you. It’s about them, and children need love from their grandparents 
YATA
Do you help those relationships?
By encouraging your kids to reach out?
By talking good about them to your kids?
Or do you hinder those relationships?
By only thinking communication is one sided?
By talking trash because they didn’t do it how you think they should?
If I were you, I would be trying hard to get those lines between ALL OF YOU back open, and committing to making an effort on your part AS THE PARENT to help your kids understand how important family relationships are.
Remember, you guys moved, NOT them! It works BOTH ways!
Wow
Bitter much
How come you can’t call their grandparents so the kids can speak to them?
You sound like the type of mom
Who would whinge and carry on
If your kids didn’t get anything
It’s pretty obvious that you don’t get on with your mil
As a grandmother
The best advice I will give you
Is pull your head in and the kids have something from their grandparents
Your hubby needs to have a say in this matter
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Prayers for all, I believe the grandparents are trying. It’s hard when we live so far away. Just maybe let them call and talk to the grandparents, the ones that are old enough. Sometimes we have to push a little. But your kids will be great full one day that you were tried to give them that relationship
Yeah this is wild. Idc if they choose not to have a relationship with my child. That’s on them and I will never force my kid to love someoen that doesn’t look forever. However, that sounds like a guilty conscience looking for a monetary way to fill that hole. So I’d send the sizes of clothes they’re in right now or what they’re about to go into and get a few nice pieces of clothing for them on this absent family members 
it’s only a benefit
Communication goes both ways.
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Might be an unpopular opinion but I agree with you. Sure the kids should probably call (if old enough) BUT it’s her choice to not be involved in their lives. My husband and I don’t live near family but family (some of them anyways) still talk to our son any chance they get. Those saying “well you’re not physically close what else is she supposed to do?” Even weekly or monthly calls instead of using bribery to be in their lives would be better than nothing. 
I would tell her for Christmas they want her to start reaching out on a regular basis and not just for special occasions. And those who say “oh don’t keep family away from the child” she kept herself away, the OP literally stated that in the post.
Ewe… deprive them of any love at all is just horrible…
Yes you are it is a two way street you aren’t reaching out also. When we were growing up we went to visit our grandma a few times a week if we live close and when we moved away we we called once a week. So you are the ahole. You can reach out also. It is on you and your husband shouldn’t have to do your dirty work. It is time to grow up life is to short.
Wow… how ungrateful. The phone runs both ways! Do you have the kids call them? Do you have them send thank you notes for previous gifts? Wow just wow .
Why can’t you make the effort to go see them?
You’re the a hole. She won’t always be there to send them gifts and you’re taking those memories away from them. She’s clearly thinking about them otherwise they wouldn’t have gotten anything from her.
Not good. I went thru this as a grandparent. Why aren’t you having your kids call them. Do you text pictures, send school pictures, tell the kids about their grandparents? If not then you are the axxhole. If they are old enough to talk then why aren’t you helping them call. They are at least trying. It’s not your place to stop the relationship because it’s not going the way you want it to. They are at least trying. Do you buy them presents? I bet you don’t.
Do you make the effort too? My mil doesn’t like me. But adores our son. My husband face time calls her weekly with our son. I try to send pictures monthly. She is never going to remember my birthday. But calls and sings to our son on his
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At least she send things. My ex husbands family WILL NOT send anything to him, just the other kids. Won’t even call on his bday
It totally depends do they live locally where it’s easy to see them ect?
Ummm, I think you did overreact. She’s trying to do something nice for your kids…
Wow u are definetly the asshole
It works both ways and even a card on special occasions is saying they are thinking of your kids!
Your definition of love is not everyone else’s definition of love. As long as it’s safe, let people show their love how they can. Especially if your far away
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Growing up one of my grand mothers lived away. We didn’t talk on the phone but we were always excited to receive gifts from our grand mother.
You are very wrong in this situation and are teaching your kids to dislike their grand parents as you do. They can still grow up and have a great relationship with them.
You should rethink your decision.
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Ummm are you trying to visit them at all? At least they are thinking about the kids on special days.
Gift cards. The answer is gift cards. Easy to send and everybody loves them
I do not care how far away you live from each other!!!No excuses and stop to think what you are teaching your children. They are grandparents and all of you should make certain that the lines of communication are always open.With to-days tecknoloģy NO EXCUSE from either side. I also have family away from us but we hear from them all the time because our son makes certain to keep In touch. Make an effort and stop denying your children the right to know and love their grand parents…GROW UP.
Your kids are collateral damage because of YOUR feelings. How about your KIDS feelings? I would imagine that your kids would love some grandmotherly love bestowed upon them.
BTW, when was the last time your kids called their grandparents? The phone goes both ways.
Put your talons away and don’t deny your children love from someone other than yourself.
You sound exhausting and exhausted…
Sooooo, my mil lives in Connecticut while we live in Louisiana. I have her 1 biological grandchild and 2 that aren’t hers biologically. And I welcome anything she wants to send to either of them. She isn’t unfair, and sends them all stuff, as well as instacarts groceries and cashapps money, periodically(even though we dont need it). It’s for her peace of mind being she can’t be there all the time she has a life as well as we do… welcome it. Let them know who it’s from. And that they love them very much… atleast she is doing something reguardless of when, where, why and how…
And just how often do you call them? Visit them? Have your kids call them? It’s a 2 way street and it’s not like it’s a 10-15 minute drive, you sed they live far away. Seems like your the one in there feeling, as a kid I hated talking on the phone with my grandparents, it was boring and awkward. Stop blocking your kids blessings YTAH
Let the grandma send gifts! Don’t be toxic, your kids will be the ones who suffer if you hold a grudge
Phones work both ways honey. You should be thankful some one wants to acknowledge your kids. Stop being petty and let the kids receive their gifts. I thank maybe your more bothered that your kids get the attention and not you.
Better to be half loved then not loved at all … at least they are making the effort for Christmas
That goes both ways, don’t ya think?
Do YOU guys make the effort?
Umm Perhaps since your kids “are more than old enough for phone calls” you should remind them to give their grandparents a call!
They live far. A phone literally works both ways! Stop being petty and let them get them something ! 
I agree…be glad that they reach out at all. A kid can never have too many people that love them and family is everything…even if they are far away.
You are very judgmental. Give your MIL a break, she’s making an effort. It’s too bad you expect everyone to be perfect and meet your expectations. You won’t ever have a decent relationship with your in-laws, if you don’t appreciate what they do for you and your kids when they can.
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I feel the same re my Grandchildren. They are all well old enough to ring me. And I suppose I am sick of fronting up with the gifts too.
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Ask for a 30 minute face time call then
I think that’s terrible. They are grandparents and live far away.why not arrange for ur kids to call them? It goes both ways. Don’t turn down gifts, especially if its for ur children. That’s just mean and will truly hurt the grandparents. A lot of us don’t have grandparents anymore. I sure don’t and was devastated when mine past. Make most of life
I could certainly understand you telling her not to send your kids anything simply because they had TOO much and didn’t need anything. But simply because you were upset because they didn’t call or contact them often enough? That’s silly. And, don’t forget…it works both ways. How often do you, hubby and kids call them?
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Maybe they don’t ring because they don’t want to put themselves on you or the kids if you’re busy. Maybe encourage the kids to call her, they are their grandparents after all, grandparents are so important in a child’s life 
My husband use to not ever think to call his parents so I would dial and put him on the phone. I called my mom every week and his too. We were in NY and CA. Get over it.
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You are a very heartless person
I think their lucky to have grandparents, I wish mine did, they all passed away young. Didn’t even get to meet my youngest ones who are 18 year twins. They’ve never known a grandparent which is sad.
Up to you mama🤷🏼♀️, I understand why your upset, but also free stuff for your kids is free stuff for your kids ya know💁🏼♀️, but it’s perfectly logical not to want to accept it
I’d at least explain to her why you don’t want her sending anything, if you haven’t already of course
Don’t do that to her, or your kids. They deserve to know that , their grandmother loves them. That is just being selfish. Not trying to be mean.
Well the calls go both ways. When has your kids called their grandparents.
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That’s unfair to your kids. If you make the grandparents stop sending gifts, your kids are going to wonder why? What did they do wrong? My grandmothers on both sides never contacted me or send me anything when I was young. I know how it feels so at least they’re doing something…
I’m a firm believer that if you want a relationship with my child then that’s a effort you need to make not me. As their parent I have enough to worry about then if they get to spend time with a grandparent or aunt/ uncle. But I’d still let them send gifts even if they don’t see my kids often.
Wow you are being so petty.
My children call their grandma and aunts without my knowledge most of the time from their IPads. They will be playing and all of a sudden I’ll hear “hey grandma”. I don’t say anything because if they had a problem with it then they would tell me or not answer. So this is a hard one for me cause we live far away from family but they are in contact or my kids call them.