Well my mother dosent have sleep overs but both my parents have stayed the weekend or night at our house and my brothers… When my husband worked on the road I would pack up my kids and go to my parents house to sleep. Maybe cause her husband is on the road she is lonely… One day they will pass and these little things you will miss. If so dosent want her there then he should talk to his mom about it… but I don’t see anything wrong with it… My husband and I have also stayed the weekends at his mom’s house as well.
If your SO isnt comfortable with his mum staying then thats OK and she needs to deal with that, especially as you dont have the room, and seriously dont feel bad for it. It is what it is. The damage could be far worse if she stays and they have a massive argument. So play it safe she needs to respect boundaries.
Pretty sure the answer is clear here
Neither one of you want her to so the answer is obviously “NO”
I would stop calling it “sleepovers” for one… that term doesn’t fit at all. Staying over makes more sense or staying the night… It’s up your SO. If he says no then no. He can deal with his mother.
If you aren’t comfortable with her then don’t let her over. Your partner should respect that. they could visit their mother whenever as long as it was appropriate to your guys’s schedule
Ok old school here but when my grandmother used to visit us she slept in the bed with my mom. My stepdad slept in the living room. Now I get she is hurt, I have a bad back and would never put my kids out I’d sleep on the couch or take myself an air bed. Seems like she’s almost trying to mark her place and queen. Fuck that, next time she ask just straight out tell her she is more then welcome and that you got alot of space on the couch for her and that it has her name all over it.
Noooooooooo! That’s so weird that she calls it a sleepover.
That’s up to your SO.
No no no I’m not giving up my bed no she can sleep on sofa she can sleep in her car she can sleep at motel 6
Tell her to buy her own roll away cot if she wants to come over and then just “suddently have to go run errands a lot”
You cant fix and idiot but you CAN play her game
It sounds like a TOXIC relationship and your SO doesn’t know how to tell his mother to mind her business! Just because they are BLOOD doesn’t mean you need them in your life. Your house your rules if you don’t want to stay over then she doesn’t need to. I would keep interactions at a neural place so yall can exit when things are uncomfortable.
I totally understand wanting to be polite and all, but it sounds like she is a bleep anyway, and her own son doesn’t want her there. Just tell her that you and her son value your free time ALONE and that you don’t want the company. Really you shouldn’t have to because your SO should do it since it’s his Mom.
LMAOOOO dead Rola Mohamad
I don’t find it weird, me and my mom live 20 minutes from each other and I have her come spend the night 1/2 times a month. I just want my mom around sometimes. And the kids love it when she comes. But we have a good relationship. But if he doesn’t want her to and they don’t have that kind of relationship then I would say he needs to step up and say something. Maybe compromise and y’all plan a weekend where y’all can all meet somewhere and have lunch and do something together as a day date thing. I think she’s probably just wanting to see her babies.
Be honest, we don’t have the space, and I’m not giving up my bed. Why force your SO to be around her? And why put yourself through that?
I don’t find it weird. My daughter comes for the weekend. My son comes for a week. And I will go there when they have houses/room…
But if neither of you are comfortable with it he needs to tell her. Say you don’t have the room.
Is it weird, no, it sounds like she is lonely. It doesn’t sound like your SO wants her around, and I get that, but it is your SO responsibility to tell her that she is not wanted, not yours. You don’t have to be rude, but she does need to be told and now, don’t play with her feelings, that isn’t fair.
We have close families so to me, it’s not weird. We had “sleep overs” when I was away at college but we didn’t call them that! My mom and my MIL!
Coming from someone who has a very similar MIL, I would say absolutely not. My husband feels the same about his mom as your SO does about his. Short visits are difficult for him to get through. Your mental states are more important than appeasing her.
Its his mom he needs to tell his mom that her sleepover just doesn’t work for you and your family. Can also tell her your back can only sleep in your own bed. She doesn’t live that far awAY that a sleepover is necessary. She sound like a mother in law from hell
She lives over an hour away, so when she does visit, it’s understandable that she wants to stay as long as possible. Just because our kids grow up doesn’t mean that bond goes away. An overnight visit is not unreasonable.
I don’t find it weird. I love my son and putting that twist on ‘sleepover’ doesn’t make it sound like you’re trying to portray it either. She is his Mom and she wants to spend time with him and his family. There is absolutely nothing wrong or weird about it. Stop throwing shade on his Mom. Sounds to me like you are the one with the issue with his Mom to me.
I love my in-laws, but so don’t want anybody but my immediate family (our kids) in our home overnight.
Tell her no actually tell your bf to tell her no you shouldn’t be the voice for him too cuz his mom will only think it’s you not wanting her there and no she cant have the bed ever cant force two people to sleep on a couch in their own damn home shes out of it and definitely loves to control everyone and everything
Personally for me that’s weird he is an adult
Your gut will never lie to you if you feel this is not a good thing to do go with your feelings because it will only be problems if not
Your relationship. Your house. Your boundaries. Just say NO if he doesn’t want that.
Just tell her no, better yet her son should tell her!
This is kinda weird😂 lol
I stay at my moms house. And she stays at mine but we live 3 hours away from each other and get along with each other
If your husband is uncomfortable ar poo under her when she is around, then my answer would be “no.”
Sounds like she’s lonely and desperate. It’s actually very sad. It’s up to you, but I’d cut her a break as long as you have space and she abides by your rules, but that’s just me.
She is a control freak and needs to be told no
You shouldn’t have to prove to her you wasn’t pregnant to begin with. Pushy definitely.
There’s nothing wrong with a weekend with your grown children and their family.
However, if he’s not so much wanting to spend time with his mom, for whatever reason, it’s up to him to break that news to her.
As you don’t have the room to spare, she should be in a hotel.
In an emergency situation, yes of course, Hubby and I would give up our bed to his or my parents if we didn’t have room and for whatever reason couldn’t secure other accomodations.
It sounds like neither of you want her around for whatever reasons you may have. It’s up to him to talk to his mom about this. Just remember though, if not for her, he wouldn’t be here!
Tell her she is welcome to visit for a weekend,because you don’t have extra room she would need to stay in a motel, then you could get together for a breakfast or a dinner, not at your home, spend some time visiting in the restaurant, then tell her you’ll see her later that day that you have some previous plans, don’t give into a situation that will not end well.
I don’t understand why it’s being called a “sleepover,” almost like it is something creepy. When out of town relatives visit, if you can accommodate them, it is always the polite thing to do.
The fact that she is mean is a whole other issue. If you don’t want to be around someone, you don’t have to be. It’s her sons place to deal with this.
My mother in law drives 2 hrs every other weekend to sleepover granted its mostly to visit our children and we get a free babysitter. But she always asks in advance to see if we have plans we also have an extra bed. But just say hey why dont you get a room at a hotel and we come swim with you or go out for the day.
Put a regular visit on the calendar once a month for breakfast or dinner at a halfway point! Have your SO call her once a week to honor her.
well, its rude and disrespectful to invite yourself anywhere. No, u def don’t hv to accommodate her! It would be different if she and your bf were super close. Just say no, you’re not ready for tht…and never BE ready…lol…some ppl…smh
Please stop using the term, “sleepover.” Parents and grown children do visit each other and stay overnight at each other’s homes. However, since your SO doesn’t get along well with his mother, this does not seem like an option. I agree that your SO should be the one to tell his mother No. she sounds very intrusive. You should not have to explain your weight gain or your birth control method to her. It is none of her business. You do need to set boundaries with her. She has invited herself to your house and has told you where she would prefer to sleep (in your bed). I think you have to be firm and she is not going to like it. Say something like, “Mom, we are not able to have you to stay overnight with us. But we would like to see you, so let’s meet in the middle for lunch.” You don’t have to explain anything!
It is not unusual to have mothers and mother in laws stay overnight when they have long distances between you. But you can and should decline for the reasons stated. You have no extra space and you don’t have to give up your bed for her. Just tell her the truth. If she’s difficult to be around, tell her. So what if she throws a fit. You have to set boundaries with pushy people or they will try to control you.
When it’s a good relationship it’s not weird. I love when my mom spends the night! However, in your situation no, it wouldn’t be normal and certainly doesn’t sound as though it would be fun. Dunno if you all have spoken to her about her attitude but it would be something I’d address, or have your SO do it since it’s his mom.
Take the cue from your SO. Your SO should tell her no. You shouldn’t need to give up your bed for her. Maybe meet in-between cities for a lunch meal at a restaurant or attend an activity together.
Tell her she is more than welcome to visit for the day, but you do not have room for her to sleep. Then offer up some nearby hotels. Not that you are paying for them, but that she may book a room at any one of them. Then make sure she knows this has to planned well in advance as you guys are busy and have to make sure you keep the weekend open for her. This allows you to come up with plenty of excuses as to why your busy that weekend.
My ils used to insist we stay at their place at least once a month. One day sh!t hit the fan and I was done with that. They got mad when they randomly stopped by and we were gone and didnt make plans in advance and even more upset that I would not allow us to drop prior commitments to meet their on a whim demands. Turns out they all have undiagnosed ADHD and several other personality disorders to go with it! But i was the crazy one in their toxic relationships. They really hate me now bc I grew a backbone, learned boundaries, and put my needs first. They couldnt respect any of that, so now there is very limited contact and my life is better for it.
Since your place is small maybe you can get a hotel suite with two bedrooms and have a sleepover weekend—that way she doesn’t invade your home turf and she can have time with her son on neutral ground.
I wouldn’t call that a “sleepover”. She just wants to spend time with her son. Lol. If he doesn’t want her to come stay for the weekend he just needs to tell her that. But no, it’s not that out of the ordinary. Shes lonely
Sad when son cannot stand to be with his mom. Hope your kids do not feel same way about you when they grow up. Honor thy mother and thy father.
Get her a hotel room. She can be close and visit, but there will be breaks from each other. Gotta have boundaries.
My mother lives a few hours from my brothers family. She has stayed with his family for days at a time. And she also stayed with me when I lived further away. But if they don’t have a good relationship I would say definitely not.
I love when my mom stays with me. And we’ve both changed as we’ve gotten older. I see nothing wrong with it and appreciate trying to find a different dynamic.
But if you try and it’s not your cup of tea, at least you can say you tried.
If she wants to VISIT with SO, explain to her that she can come but that it would require her to stay at a hotel since you only have the one bedroom and that it is not possible for the two of you to sleep on the sofa. Good luck.
What is a SO? I’ve spent much time at my children’s homes. Free babysitting which I love. I guess I would tell her she can’t come because she’s mean and judgmental
She can stay one night and she gets the couch. Tell her that up front. If it goes well she can come back in a few months, scheduled in advance.
Your home, your rules. I’d be honest and just say not a good idea, schedules, etc…maybe conflicting sleeping arrangements and you’ll let her know when it can be arranged.
I think its normal for a mother to want to stay with her children when she comes to visit. I know I have stayed with my children in their homes when I visit. Because of the dynamics of the relationship, not really having a close bond, you could invite her to come and visit overnight and pay for a motel room room close to you. That way you can control the amount of time spent with her and she would feel appreciated that you are being thoughtful of her pain situation. You, as a future daughter in law could help to heal some of the rift in your fiances relationship with his mother. If you both really don’t want to interact with her you are going to have a very difficult marriage and family life. She could make your life very miserable, better to accommodate her or sever ties.
Normally should be enough hint just to say that you only have the one bed and remind her of her bad back and that if the couch won’t do for her then you don’t see it happening:woman_shrugging:
In your place i would say ‘that makes me very uncomfortable, I need my home space to be ours alone for mental health reasons’ and 100% wear the blame for hubby. Easy for both of you to defend, if she asks what mental health just say you aren’t comfortable discussing it on any level.
My mother-in-law is mean to me for the year before we got married and the eight years we were married. The day we got divorced she said I never meant for this to happen. If he had ever stood up to her and told her to respect me because he loved me it might have been different. She even come and some I had been unfaithful to him which I hadn’t. I think it’s good to just get these things out front and over with instead of going through years of it
My mom would visit my sister when she lived across the state. We have a good relationship with her so it’s not a weird thing. I get why you MIL would want to spend time with your SO. However, it sounds like your SO needs to set some firm boundaries with her. Especially if she is as toxic as she sounds. The important thing though is that he needs to be the one who does it. It is his mother, he needs to lay down the law with her. You both should also be communicating what you want as well. Be on the same team.
Never heard it called a sleepover. My grandmother came for weekend visits or we went there. I believe it is quite common. And if we had room in our 3 bedroom/1bath home with 4 kids (3 of them teenagers), I think you should have room. Just keep her busy doing stuff and maybe she will be to preoccupied to be mean.
Personally, I wouldn’t mind either of my parents or my husbands parents coming over to spend weekends with us. But, I have a great relationship with my family. I go up and spend weekends at my moms and dads, frequently. We get family time and my husband and I can get a date night in.
Your place your rules, if don’t want her there that’s it. You don’t have explain your reasons.there’s nothing wrong with sleepovers if you get along if not,no sleepovers,as far as you giving up your bed for her no way your house your rules.stop being nice be honest,let her know she’s being unkind and you just don’t want the drama. It’s time to sit and talk and get things straight about how you feel don’t be mean just honest set your limits with her now before it gets really crazy believe me it will. You are an adult and this is not a child, adult talk it’s a adult to adult talk.
Well dearly I have no clue what you Tex. Your story changes all the time. Like when you wanted to know about your boyfriend and you having 5 kids counting both of you. And your boyfriend treated his kids better than yours and your 15 year old daughter was pregnant and wanted to test her. You wanted help what to do? I and others tried to help you. I would rather you not be on my FB anymore. Tired of the stupid stuff you keep putting on. Sorry your doing it again you need psychiatric help
STAY OFF MY FB as of now. Go away. I’m not interested. I have true fb friends!!! Stop it NOW!!!
Just tell her that you don’t have room for other people to stay at your place but you will rent her a room at a local hotel once a year so that she doesn’t have such a long ride and that you both are in need of your own bed since you also would be uncomfortable with any other solution. If she doesn’t like it I guess you win and won’t have her around very often to create problems.
I love going to my daughters house and having a sleepover with my grandkids. They fight over who gets to sleep next to me.
First of all your SO is the one to tell her NO. Especially if he does not get along well with her. Weekends need to be special for you both and if you have to spend it with an uninvited guest that’s the pitts. But it is his place to tell her since it is his Mother. I would have no problem telling her that you do not have room and I sure would never give up my bed for her. That’s not right. Good luck
She sounds lonely,so sorry I never had this issue,but i,d tell her if she going to be mean and rude ,she is not staying the night/weekend
I’d recommend to her a local motel where she’d be more comfortable and you can have her over for some meals.
Since you don’t have a spare room and she has a bad back, book a room for her at the local inn\hotel. That way, all of you can get a good nights’ sleep, and some space.
For mental health reasons & peace and quiet I would not allow her to spend the night. If the two of you are doing your part to see her as often or frequently as possible, there is no need for her to spend the night.
The answer is, NO…
Plain and simple.
If he doesn’t want her around thn why wont he tell her and why is she pushing so hard🤔
Tell her flat out no she is not welcome to come stay weekends at your house it is your home stand your ground
Never in my 75 years have I heard of a mil wanting a sleep over. I live alone and would never do this to my Children
I have always got along very well with my mother in laws,. I’ve had a couple lol. I think sleep overs are great BUT not if you don’t get along what’s the point? And honestly she should be asked by you and your SO. Stick to your guns and say no don’t leave it up to your SO, the apartment/house belongs to you as well as your SO. Don’t feel bad for saying no!!!
Your SO needs to draw the line. If he wants a relationship with her he will initiate it. Maybe he should call her on a regular basis. He can always end the conversation when he wants.
My mom who i dont get along with for short periods of time asked what the price of housing was in my small town i was like it’s cheap but over an hour and a half to any sort of city with things like Wal-Mart and target. Also no way in hell would I let my mother live any where near me let alone stay the night in my house. Tell her NO it’s not a good idea and NO u won’t sleep on the couch in your own home.
I’d put her up in a hotel somewhere very close by and also set up an Uber account and let her know she can come for a visit but there just isn’t enough room in your apt. If my mom were alive, she’d be over every single day if she could. But we, as a family, are very very close. I couldn’t imagine her wanting to come over if we don’t get along.
It’s not up to you, it’s up to him to just say no and set boundaries.
That MIL is weird. I have only stayed overnight with my child who lives 6 hours away. I either sleep in the guest room or get a hotel depending on their home size at the time, hotel when they had a roommate.
Sleeping in your bed with her adult child? That is weird.
Just say “no”. That just rude and weird at the same time. She needs a hobby that is not you two.
Tell SO to tell his mother no. Tell him you will tell her it’s a great idea. Then fold out the couch. HIS MOTHER HIS PROBLEM!
Very intrusive, dont start the overnite thing or she will end up living with you
tell her to stay at a B&B or hotel, she would be more comfortable and you need your space and privacy.
Not only would I not let her stay, but I’d plan to move across the country and not tell her where. It’s not normal.
Tell her yes, but she can’t take her pills and she has to stay on the couch, bet she’ll never want to again lol
If she wants to spend time with her son she can get a hotel room. You should never be forced out of your own bed to appease someone else, especially when you didn’t ask that they come and stay and do not want them to stay.
Having sleepovers is pretty normal to me. My mom comes over and sleeps over at least once a month! She isn’t crazy like that though.
This is not your fight. Your SO should be the one to see the boundaries with his mother.
Ok, it is time to grow up. This is your home and you never let anyone into it that is disrespecting you and your family. This is up your husband to grow a pair, and handle it now. This is not normal for him to be sleeping with his mom. And she is pill dependent ?!? Sit your husband down now, have him tell her no more. Then block her from all media and cell numbers. Between now and dead, you two want to deal with this ?!?
Perhaps she is really lonely perhaps depressed when talking about her bad back. Your SO should talk to her. Perhaps her kids are the only family she has left
You don’t have to tell her no, he needs to. If you get in the middle, it will look to her as if it’s you who doesn’t want her there. He needs to man up and tell her himself. Their relationship is theirs and it’s not up to you to police it. If he let’s her come, I would conveniently be VERY busy the whole time.
No just No…it’s your home and should be a safe space. If your SO and you had a good relationship with her obviously you wouldn’t post this so go with your intuition say No.
Sounds like she can’t stand being alone… her husband is hardly around so she is lonely. … but if you and your husband doesn’t even want to be around her that long AND you don’t have a spare room for her simply say ‘sorry since we don’t have a spare room it’s not going to be practical for you to spend the night’ ( if she persists tell her that SHE CAN SLEEP ON THE COUCH) it’s YOUR home. It’s not uncommon for parents to stay over at their adult children’s homes (Tho usually cuz they live states away not just and hour) …but it not normal for the parent to take over the bedroom . Tell her it’s the couch or she brings her own air mattress…if you decide to let her stay.
With the poor relationship it is weird but she may not realize that her son does not enjoy her company. But with her living so far away it is normal to want to spend the night.
Set boundaries and cut unnecessary ties. She sounds like a leach. Been there. You have your lives to live and don’t owe her any thing more than love and respect, not your privacy and peace of mind. She sounds overbearing, to put it mildly.
Does she have her own friends or anyone beside u all she sounds lonely visiting is one thing but it seems like she needs baby sitting this is sad
Whether it’s normal or not, it’s ultimately your decision. If you don’t get along and is going to be extremely troublesome to have her in your house for an extended at a time, tell her no.
Calling a sleepover makes it weird. My mom stays over all the time. My MIL has as well. For different reasons. If they don’t get along well and he doesn’t want her over that’s a different story.