Maybe suggest he coming she will stay the nite in a motel…cause only 1 bedroom. U cant sleep on couch cause yr back or his back wont take it either. She may not come as often then.
Why are there so many abbreviations? If your thumbs are tired then shorten the story!
Omg she just wants to spend time with her family. What’s wrong with that?
You have a right to say NO. If she keeps pushing the issue just tell her no and hang up. Tell your SO that he needs to do the same. Saying no and hanging up will send a message. If she texts or calls do the same thing again. This will tell her, you both are ready to set boundries and she needs to follow the rules ya’ll setup. If she keeps bothering you and SO, block her. This is not normal for her wanting to sleep over. She wants to cause issues and might even break both of you up.
It’s normal to invite your in laws to stay overnight.
Tell her if she wants to visit the weekend there is a nice hotel down the road
What is this so? Maybe she isn’t approving cause your just shacking up. Not judging but some people don’t think the relationship is real and won’t last.
Why won’t your SO just say no? And why would you feel you had to take a pregnancy test to prove to get?? You both need to grow up and tell her she can come over only when invited and if she is out of line make her leave.
Just say no. She’s an adult, she’ll get over it. Tell her you don’t have room and you don’t want to cause her the discomfort of sleeping on the couch.
I would also call that lonely. Try to include her more on short daytime outings or handouts. Also suggest groups to hangout with.
This is something your so should handle and not put you in the middle.
No, no and NO. Put your foot down or regret it forever.
If that’s how they feel about eachother and they don’t get along I would say NO. Leave it at that.
Do what YOU want to do. Perhaps she’s too much?
Sounds like a toxic situation to me…you are in control of your own life. My mother in law was the sweetest person but she wasn’t patient with me and snapped at me over stupid stuff…I ignored the bad stuff and just loved her anyway…several years later she died suddenly and unexpected…I’m glad I chose to be kind.
That just sounds weird, only bc your SO says they don’t have a good relationship. She sounds toxic be care full around her and set boundaries and stick to them. Bc trust me it’ll get weirder…really weird.
Umm…of course it’s normal. I have a daughter who lives 2 hours away and I go to spend the weekend with her and her fiance and son about every 6 weeks. I find it odd that you would even question that being normal. However, if you and your partner dont want her there, then stand up for yourself and say no!
When someone shows you who they are believe them. Better to be honest or you can walk around bald. From pulling your hair out
It’s odd that she wants to have sleepovers with her son! She having that time with her daughter doesn’t seem weird but with her son?
My ex mil would do this all the time with my husband before we were married- except she lived about 5 min away- once we got married she thought she was going to stay over with me the week he went hunting- I thought it was weird- now that we are getting divorced she is back to spending the night over there again- I saw just say no! ESP b/c she wants to sleep in your bed with your so- and b/c he doesn’t want her to
It’s not ur place to say anything…she’s his mother. He needs to handle that and put his foot down. He could say not now cause of no room and y’all aren’t giving up ur bed. Be firm. Not mean. She’ll get mad for a minute but I promise she will get over it.
Hopefully she will pick up on the hint, don’t think so, it’s not about y’all. It’s his mother, let him tell her. I stay away from pushy people myself because it’s not about our relationship but what they want.
Hahaha. No way do you ever give go your bed!!! If she can’t sleep on the couch she will have to wait until you have a so are room. But it sounds like SO needs his space. So don’t do it
Her son should tell her, he has a bad back and wants to sleep in his own bed with his wife. No guest room, no sleepover.
You andwe your own question with the phrase he wants space from his mother
Sounds like your SO had some thi gs he needs to talk to his mom about. Maybe with the help of a counselor or non-involved third party
Normally that wouldn’t be a problem and would be nice having your mother to sleep over sometimes but since he doesn’t along with her then he should tell her no
Your house your rules. Lay down the law now or it will be too late.
First of all… WHO is SO? Or what does that even mean?!?
No offense but this was liking listening to soap opera monologue.
It’s your house. Ball up.
She expects you and your SO to share a couch? Nope, cuz then your backs will hurt too. Just say no. Get it over with, just say it. She’s going to be offended, but that’s her prerogative…
I would say that if HE doesnt get along with his mother then HE needs to tell her himself that HE doesnt want her there and leave you out of that. That way it doesn’t have any way of getting turned back around on you.
My ex MIL split us up. If hes created his own barriers and safe place and he doesn’t want her too say no and listen.
Don’t do it!!! Tell SO to tell his Mom to cool it!! Once they stick their foot in the door, you will be trash! Been thru it for 35 years
Everyone can be all warm and fuzzy, saying the mom is “lonely”, and yes she’s calling it a sleepover because she knows how ridiculous it sounds. I don’t think she should be indulged; clearly she had a problem with boundaries and if you do this once, you’re opening a door that can’t be closed.
Just tell her flatly and without fanfare that you don’t have anywhere for her to sleep because you aren’t giving up your bed. Also, this is very odd. I have stayed at my daughters house when I was in town overnight but I’ve never had a sleepover with her.
She wants to spend time with her son. That is normal. Her sleeping at your place is up to you. You have the right to say no. Suggest a hotel. That will give you space.
If you don’t put your foot down now, she will be impossible when you do have children. Set limits now & stick to it.
You’re not being rude. She is being pushy and controlling.
You’re not being mean, he doesn’t want to spend time with her. It’s not really a sleepover that reminds me of a pajama party but just that she would be staying with you visiting.
If shes that hard to get along with I would not recommend it, and it actually might be detrimental to you and your SO relationship
If you don’t know the answer to that you need to stay single.
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Learn to say NO and have your SO deliver the response with no explanation!! Crazy stuff!!
I believe this is a question for Dear Abbey, not FB.
I would not let her come spend the night
It’s real simple----Open your mouth and say NO!!!
Tell her no. Its your house.
Simple…tell her you don’t have room, then tell her to make reservations at a hotel.
Sounds like she’s lonely and misses her children.
Have your SO tell his mom it isn’t going to happen.
Tell her no. Nor co.forable with the idea
As you don’t have a guest room suggest she stay in a hotel
Just tell her you don’t have room and you will not be sleeping on the couch.
i shes should nt sleep over
Controlling
That’s weird for sure. I would be like no sorry but no
She could stay in a hotel.
Just a simple “ no we don’t want you to “ is good enough.
Offer to meet in the middle and spend the day together
Grow a backbone and tell her your home your rules no sleepovers ever
That’s for her son to do, not you!
If your S-o wants space from his mother n can’t tolerate her for short periods of time, that means there’s some underlying issues between them such as her being controlling n smothering for most of his life. That being said, YOU will have to take the initiative n tell her no bcuz she’s the type that won’t allow her son to tell her no. I’ve been in that position many times over the past 2 years w my husband. The only time my M-i-L took no for an answer was when I told her not happening n then my husband stood firm on my decision.
Good Luck.
That woman isn’t right? Seems very controlling. If they don’t get along she should stay out of both ur business
I would tell her if she wants to come she will need a hotel, ya’ll will need to know at least a month ahead of time so you can plan and any toxic behavior she will be asked to leave. Actually her son should tell her this.
If your SO doesn’t want her to come, get him to tell her. She is the one being rude for inviting herself
Buy an air mattress for company. Or just say no. Sounds like she is lonely. If she is not welcome, then politely say no. The son needs to be the one to tell her no, don’t make your wife be the bad guy!
Oh HELL NO! Don’t get it started.
your so needs to grow a pair and tell her no
I have children and they can always come stay a few nights at my home, why would they not offer the same to me. If you are close with your parents , I think its normal. If they dont get along well, I personally wouldn’t want to deal with that situation. Maybe its because shes not fun or friendly. Ask yourself would you let your mom, sister or friend spend the night at your home and make this big of a deal out of it. I see some people saying, that people should find it rude to assume they can stay with their child, well fact is , that person housed you in their body for 9 months, housed you in their home until you left for work, college, and maybe even after that. So how can you look past that as though , it never happened. I find it offensive and ungrateful. However not every parent does for their child and some dont have good relationships, if thats the case than I dont understand her wanting to put herself or her son through that kind of frustration. I do find it weird her asking , when she knows you dont have a spare room, and she has a bad back. It could be a beautiful thing if she just wanted to spend the night and was fun and friendly, heck I would love to have a siblings pj party at my age today, paint nails, laugh , listen to music , watch movies , eat popcorn, play cards, talk about our kids, sprawl out in the floor with sleeping bags and enjoy each other, because life is short and time slips by us, I think it would be awesome. However you do describe her as controlling and she wouldn’t be doing it , to enjoy spending time and activities with you , she probably would do it to frustrate and control, I would advise letting him tell her that its uncomfortable for him, because when you do, you become the enemy.
I think the only one weird in this situation in the lady writing. My grandparents, great grandparents and a ton of family come and stay at the house. On Christmas eve every year my great grandma (maternal) and grandma (paternal) would come and stay the night and my parents gave up their bed. Times when my grandma came and aunts and uncles (even as an adult) i give up my bed. If my husband pulled some shit like this we would be divorced. His grandma comes from Mexico in 2 weeks and of course I will give up my bed if the need is there. If my in laws get a chance to come to the states you can bet I will give up my bed to them. I would never think otherwise.
He needs to stand up for himself
Oh fuck that shit girl!!! Just call it a day and tell her how it is!!! Honesty is really the best policy! Just do it!!
No is a complete sentence.
This is a really easy one…no
Whatttt? No. Absolutely no.
Go see her …problem solved
Just let son handle it
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Tell him to grow a pair and deal with his mommy !!! If lives hours away and wants to spend and doesn’t want to drive, I get it.
Since you both dislike her than say no.
Fuck…you are adults…own it and tell her.
So…why doesn’t your SO have the guts (??) to tell her, in a nice way, that he would prefer she not stay… 
I would think she would understand that because, speaking for myself - I would not WANT to stay somewhere where I wasn’t wanted…especially if you don’t have the room!! 
Calling it a sleepover is juvenile. Why she wants to stay over, when none of you get along & she treats you & your husband soo badly is beyond comprehension. That’s just stuffed up. You two must become a united front say NO & damn well stick to it no matter her manipulative tactics. Sounds like she wants a free vacation & to spread her misery around.
My paternal grandparents visited us when they could (at least a week or two at a time) & they slept at our place. They lived in a different province (what you might call a state) about 8-12hrs drive away or if they could afford to fly (which was rare) about 2hrs away. Things are different here in South Africa & driving for 8-12hrs to a destination is what we consider hell out far for us. Depends on perspective.
Point is they traveled far to spend time with us, couldn’t afford a hotel or a B&B & we had the space; a spare room for them to sleep comfortably in. It was a joy to have them with us. Luckily my Mom got along well with them.
When my paternal Grandpa died it was just my Grandma & my Aunt left (she’s a spinster by sad circumstance & lived with my Grandma for various very valid reasons). My 2 Uncles are married & living their own lives.
So my Grandma would fly down spend time with my Uncles, mainly the one in Potchefstroom (look it up) & sleep comfy in the guest room for a week maybe 2, then come stay with us (we live 2-3hrs away from my Uncle; we live in Pretoria). Sometimes if my Aunt had leave from work she’d join my Grandmother in visiting us. (Note: Either my Uncle or Dad would pay for their flight tickets).
My main point is that having an in-law visit & sleep in your house (a sleepover as you call it) is NOT abnormal nor weird at all! For most families it’s the norm.
If you guys had the space & she wasn’t soo awful then I’d say figure it out & let her stay for a weekend. Sleeping on a blow up mattress in the lounge won’t kill you or your husband. BUT seeing as this is not the case (far from it); just keep refusing, you have that right & there’s NOTHING wrong with that at all!
Good luck, she sounds awful!
When you live that far away then its perfectly normal IN MY OPINION. Everyone has different opinions. I wouldn’t call it a sleepover more so her wanting to spend time with y’all. The whole her sleeping in your bed thing. Not exactly on the normal side. IF it were my mom then i would politely tell her she can stay over but sleep on the couch. But its what YOU and your SO are comfortable with, not any other person. Make the decision based on how you feel about it, not everyone else.
No! She’s sounds crazy.
Get a cheep hotel room near by for her.
Uh that’s between your SO and his mother but that’s weird kinda the whole bed sharing thing
Have her tell her husband to grow a pair
Stick to your guns. He needs to say mom no we don’t have room good luck
What you call sleepovers are normal. Nothing beats em especially when you have awesome parents. Being a judgemental bitch isn’t normal though tell ya SO if he doesn’t want her there tell her let him deal with it.
Think it’s ok to have extended visits, if you have the space & are fine with it. Otherwise no… better get your SO to straighten this out before getting married!
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I mean having her visit for the weekend is not weird. calling it sleep overs and putting y’all out of your bed is weird.
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He should just tell her how he feels lol. After all that is his mother. She’s probably just lonely and wants to spend time with her kids however she cannot just invite herself without the ok.
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