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QUESTION:
"I recently broke up with the father of my children. We were together 3 years and have 1 bio kid together and the other is my son from a previous relationship, I’m also now pregnant. My mom also recently broke up with her boyfriend of many years. We all live under the same roof, my kids, my now ex, and my mom. It’s only been 3 weeks and everything started seeming off. My mom and ex were pushing me away while they got really close. Last night they confessed they are in love. I have already been having trouble processing the breakup. (He said he lost feelings, I didn’t). Now I feel so betrayed. My mom was one of the only people i had to confide in during the healing process, the whole time she was telling him everything. I have no job, I’m high-risk pregnant so I’m unable to work. My son does get a disability check for having autism. That’s my only income. I have no idea what to do or how to feel. So far I’ve been angry and felt betrayed. I’m stuck under the same roof as them currently. I’m looking for advice on what my next steps should be."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Ok … WOW … talk about crossed boundaries! There has to be a whole lot of things left unsaid in your post for your bio mother to cross such a line with her child! It truly seems to me that she IS NOT right in the head and needs help. But, she ISN’T your problem to deal with … your ONLY focus needs to be on your babies and yourself! First off … you need to go somewhere safe with your children (OUT of that toxic environment). Reach out to the community (try a battered female organization) to assist you in finding shelter separate from your ex and bio mother! Second, and equally important, is you MUST file with the family court for custody/child support in order to be become financially stable while raising your babies! Basically, you should NEVER trust either one ever again. I hope you find the peace and security you’re reaching out for; however, unless you actively do something about it … nothing will change. Best of luck!"
"I would try to get out. I understand you are high risk and cant work. Try your best because living under the same roof with that will only make things worse for you. Mentally and all! If doctors didnt say you couldnt work then try to find something. I had a high risk pregnancy before and I indeed could work but I do know every situation is different! Prayers for you that you find a way out that mess"
"Work from Home but you certainly need to move somewhere else ASAP"
"Do they have a YWCA where you are? They will probably be the best place for you and your child. There are also government agencies to that will send you to college sho you will be able to find a good job after the baby comes. I was a displaced homemaker and went to our local Y. It’s not so bad. Good luck to you."
"Seek out all the government aid allowed, including low cost housing. Love yourself and move out of that Hell House and cut all ties with this toxic “family.”"
"Call around find housing resources they have income-based housing for situations like this I was high risk and absolutely couldn’t work but sweetie this is only going to make your pregnancy even more high risk due to the emotional mess you are in I would cut ties completely with them both and I sure wouldn’t expose my kids to either one of them how is their grandma going to be their step mom absolutely not my kids I would walk away NO SCRATCH THAT I WOULD RUN RUN RUNAWAY FAR AWAY AND WOULD HAVE ZERO CONTACT WITH THEM PERIOD I WOULDN’T EVEN TELL EITHER WHERE I WAS LIVING IF YOU FILE FOR EMERGENCY HOUSING YOU SHOULD GET IN WITHIN A WEEK OR 2 I HAVE SEEN THEM GET PLACED WITHIN 24 HOURS"
"Shame shame shame on your momma… I am so very sorry for you…let them have each other…neither deserve you or your kids…file for help with food stamps…housing…etc… find help wherever you can but get far away from these two losers…"
"Mother or not, it’s time to rid yourself of the toxic environment your kiddo and you are in. You’re already high risk and the stress from this situation isn’t helping. Your mother KNOWS better than this. It’s time to move on mama."
"Honestly get a room with you and the kids just to get away from the negativity then work on a stay-at-home job and find something suitable for you and kids!!!"
"Look into applying for section 8 and look for based on income housing. Get you and your kids out of there and cut all contact."
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