I’m sorry, no child should ever be told that! I would talk to your mother and express your feelings, if your mom can’t understand or see an issue time to cut her off. On the daughter part, continue to tell her she is beautiful and perfect the way she is❤️
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I don’t play that in my house! We don’t even TALK about weight! You’re not gonna give my daughter a freaking weight complex! FOH! Moms would be cut off until she can learn how to curb her mouth! This is so wrong!! Worry about your own daggone weight! 
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Tell your mom how you feel. And don’t be nice about it. Stand your ground.
That being said, yes, instilling good eating habits at a young age is very important.
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I’m sorry, no child should ever be told that! I would talk to your mother and express your feelings, if your mom can’t understand or see an issue time to cut her off. On the daughter part, continue to tell her she is beautiful and perfect the way she is❤️
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She just needs to say let’s (as in together) start eating better. Have fun conversations about diff things she likes that are good for her to learn her.
she didn’t call your daughter fat, don’t put words into peoples mouth just because that is how YOU took it. Obviously it’s coming from a place of love she see’s her granddaughter being unhealthy and helped her opt for a healthier snack. You should be glad she’s not pumping her up with sugar and letting her eat how she pleases, she is a child. And this would be a great opportunity to teach your daughter about self worth and self esteem, key word SELF, not what other people say or think about you. And just from reading this sounds like you have unresolved childhood issues with your mother and this and should be addressed to her rather than taking the quick road to anger. And you let your daughter know she is perfect in every way by just reaffirming that she is great just the way she is and grandma obviously loves her and wants her to live a healthy long life,
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Grandma could have just said no sweets have an apple instead she didn’t have to call the 6 year old fat. If grandma is concerned about the girls weight she should have had a private conversation with her daughter about her concerns.
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Maybe it’s time to talk to your mother about the emotional and psychological damage that it did to you. Hopefully she will learn to understand that words can be much worse than any physical abuse. I learned that the hard way.
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The way she went about it was wrong. That said, be honest with your view of your daughter and assess whether she is, in fact, overweight. I struggled with my weight as a child who had a naturally round face who grew up in the days of models like Twiggy, Cheryl Tiegs and Christie Brinkley. I wish my mom had clamped down better on her policy of having candy out all the time. It took me until I was an adult to learn how to eat to keep my weight down.
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I don’t play that in my house! We don’t even TALK about weight! You’re not gonna give my daughter a freaking weight complex! FOH! Moms would be cut off until she can learn how to curb her mouth! This is so wrong!! Worry about your own daggone weight!
Oh, my… that’s not good. That can mess up a kid for life! Encouraging healthy eating habits in kids is to be desired, but not by way of attack! I never had a weight problem growing up, but after I had children, my metabolism was in the toilet. I never was able to get my body back in shape after my children were born. Their father never got off my case about it, even though he could see I was trying. And whenever we saw my adoptive mother, she couldn’t talk about anything else except how big I had gotten. The two of them constantly picking at me about my weight was no help at all, in fact it made me want to eat more out of pure nervousness. I got divorced from my kids’ dad because he decided I was such a loser he started cheating. So I didn’t hear his criticism anymore, but my adoptive mother never let up, all through my adulthood. The last time I went to her home before she passed away, her greeting was, “My God, you’re fat!” There was no hello. There was no “It’s been awhile since we’ve seen you…”! No it was, “My God, you’re fat!” If I had had a brain in my head, I would have said, “Wow, my mirrors work!” and turned on my heel and left. But no, I tried to sit down and have a conversation with her. All she could talk about was how she couldn’t believe how big I was and that I had let myself go. It didn’t matter that I was constantly on some meal plan or other. What mattered to her was that I was still big and I must be lying about trying to lose weight. I finally left in tears and cried most of the way home. I never went back. I’m criticized because my adoptive mother was sick with kidney cancer soon after. I called her. She said there was nothing I could do. She wasn’t able to have company and I should just stay away. My two step-sisters were doing all she needed so I didn’t need to be there. My daughter had just had a baby. I asked her if she wanted to see the baby. She said that she said to stay away and hung up on me. I took her at her word. Found out one of the step-sisters was on her medical records as her daughter. I wasn’t anything. She had disowned me. I was lucky enough to get pictures of my Dad, his wallet, his cigar lighter, his tuxedo vest, and his jewelry when she died, but that was pretty much it. She had given the land that Dad wanted to go to me to one of the step-brothers long ago. They even ended up with my burial plot for their Dad. They asked me about it and I said to take it. Why not? They had everything else. I live in another state now, near my son. I can’t stand to go by the old home place anymore. The guy they sold it to doesn’t take care of it. The outside is unmowed and unkept. The big pine trees are choked with vines and vegetation. I saw the inside once. They had destroyed my old room in a misguided remodel and were painting over beautiful paneling. It broke my heart. My Dad would have been broken hearted too. But it’s over now. And those people will never call me fat again. I’ll never be size 8/10 again. I’m 65 years old. I’m too crippled up by spinal problems to exercise vigorously. I’m going to be a little bit big. But that’s just how it is. We can’t all be skinny. And I’ve always said, I’d rather have a fat butt than a fat mouth. I know which one she had.
I’d do everything possible to find someone else to watch her. If she was concerned about her weight this could have been worded in a more compassionate way rather than blatantly saying she’s getting too big. She’s 6. She could have easily said “you can have an apple for your snack and maybe a cookie later as a treat” or spoken to you instead of insulting her. Give your girl some extra love reassuring her she is beautiful as she is.
Put your foot down with your mother. Let her know that what she said was hurtful to your child & it’s unacceptable. Be your daughter’s voice because she’s young & still growing. She can always lose weight with her age. She don’t need her own grandmother to make her feel uncomfortable in her own little skin…
Ive had the same thing with my sister in law, already one child has issues atound food, my 11 year old is a fussy eater as is, i told he politely a few times not to comment on my child or his weight, hes not fat but broad, then i just want bananas at her, to the point he didn’t want anything to do with her
spent my whole childhood hearing “ doll why don’t you go on a little diet” STOP IT NOW and don’t let anyone tell you such toxic comments/actions do not have consequences.
Put your mom in her place and don’t let your kid go over there anymore
Preventing obesity is actually caring more than giving a kid what she wants.
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I’d ask my mom to stay away a couple of days until she learns a better way to communicate. Like “Wait till after dinner and have this apple instead”.
My kids do not go around people that make comments about their weight or appearances. Even family. If your mother was concerned for your daughters health then she should’ve came to you and had an adult conversation but then again, it’s really not any of her business. I would definitely recommend a talk with your mother, about how negatively these small comments can impact a child with an impressionable brain. I had an eating disorder as a teen and even tho I’m ok now I struggle with body image to this day. If she can’t refrain from the comments then she shouldn’t be welcome around the child. Period
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Have you had a discussion with your mom? About your childhood or what she did to your daughter?
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Grandma didn’t call her fat she said big. Is she right? I forgot you younger generational ones get offended if someone looks at you wrong. I’m positive grandma never meant to hurt her grandchild. Different times for her. I’m not making excuses and yes she could have done a different approach on it. Communication is the key here. Its not hard to do. If she still refuses to alter her approach then by all means pay for daycare and let someone you dont know take care of your child. Grandma at least cares enough for her to eat healthier. Literally everything and everywhere you go revolves around image. TV, books, music, net literally EVERYTHING but you single her out. She will catch more bullying and all in school and church believe that. Talk to her and work on respect all the way around and your gonna have to teach your daughter she can’t run and hide and learn how the real world is and how her health is important. Best of luck.
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I feel for you my mom did that to my seven year old daughter and she did it to me and my grandmother my mom’s mom did it to us it’s not right My mom doesn’t see my daughter that much because of it I luckily have my daughters father that can watch her instead sorry you’re going through this
Adults need to shut their mouth about the size of kids. Big small tall short. Shut up
Obviously your mother oves your grandaughter but doesnt have thre best ways to communicate. I guarantee you that every parent on ths forum has spoken to their child in not the best way at some point or will at some point in their life. Should we dismiss ourselves out of their lives because of it? So its idiotic to keep Grandma out of your child’s life. You could talk with her calmly. Isnt that being an adult? Grandma could have said no to a cookie and give an apple instead without the explanation. If your child really is getting bigger and not eating the best foods then you must ask yourself are you being the best parent with her eating habits? Should you be kept from your child? My niece started getting bigger at 6 years old. I eventually said something to her mom and dad. I got my rear end chewed out. Now she’s 16. Diabetic and a big girl and dealing with lots of self esteem issues. I shower her with lots of love and when I take her out to eat I always say let me surprise you with something new to eat. It’s always a healthy version and she likes it. She hasn’t caught on that I’m choosing healthy things as her surprise meal. But she’s learned to enjoy the game. I never say we’re going to choose something healthy. I never say anything about her weight. We do active things. Im her favorite uncle. Ask yourself how can i see this differently without anger or judgement?
What’s wrong w fruit instead of a cookie?
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As a big girl- I would tell her- honey. I know what she said was hurtful, I am so sorry she said that. Eating healthy is a wonderful thing and so are cookies and sometimes people say things that aren’t so kind. You are beautiful as you are, you are amazing, you are loved and you are perfect! How about we pick some snack to take to grandmas
if she said it to you as child - what makes you think shes going to be any different with your child?
either stand up for you child or do nothing
me - i wouldnt be taking her over there anymore, and i WOULD find someone else to watch my kid - period.
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No do not let her do that! I have an eating disorder because of always being told to eat or eat more. I also got bullied as a kid for being fat because I had to be on prednisone for a couple years from a rare muscle disease and swelled up. I’d talk to grandma and tell her if she can’t keep her mouth shut she won’t be spending time with her granddaughter
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Plz tell your mother this is not helping and can cause your daughter to hide to eat snacks ect… your mom can Express her concerns for health in a better way that will actually support better eating habits by helping your daughter make better choices with out calling her names . Step back and start over with a God talk and a new day . If your mom cant agree then she might need to be in a time out .
Switching the snack yes but calling her names no
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Advocate for your daughter and don’t allow your mom to do to your daughter what she did to you. She can’t punish you anymore you have a voice, she can no longer take that away.
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My mom used to do the same thing. Notice I said ‘used to.’ She used to do the same thing to me. She would call me things like “little fatty” or something similar. She is alot of the reason why I feel the way I feel about myself. I heard her saying the same things to my daughter and I lost it. She would play it off like it’s just a harmless nickname or whatever but I’ll be damned if she does it to my babies.
To be fair she didn’t call her fat!
Your mother could find other ways to communicate
You pack your child exactly what you want them to eat and how much each time she has to go over. She isn’t wrong about health snacks, a nice balance of fun food and healthy options are needed. So some pretzels and nuts and a piece of fruit then offer one “junk food” item like a fruit roll
Up or handful of cookies. Nothing wrong with junk food as long as they do eat more healthy options 
but to use her size as a reason …. Absolutely NOT OK!!! It’s unacceptable so you tell your little one how amazing they are and you feed them as you feel fit
You talk to your mother and tell her what those statements did to you from childhood into adolescent and into your adulthood and tell her you don’t want your daughter going through that too. And if she continues to make nasty comments that could potentially lead your daughter into an eating disorder, she won’t be seeing her again.
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She needs to apologize for saying that to her in the manner she said it. That way if talking can make her not want to eat anything or it could make her eat more. I hope it works out for the better snd that you and your Mom be able to agree on things or at least agree to disagree but not affect your daughter.
My mom used to remark on my now 13 year old when she was 6-8 saying if we didn’t get a handle on her eating she was going to keep getting bigger. However she would always lose a lot when school started. My mother never said anything to her about it. Just me.
Bcuz if she had said something to her I would have come unglued. It’s not grandmas place to say or do anything except support her grandchild. She definitely could have said it different.
Talk to your mother and tell her that’s not acceptable and then you speak positive healthy non toxic words to your daughter. My mom has been on a toxic diet my whole life and I refuse to let her do to my daughter’s what she’s done to my sister and me thankfully I was able to get out from under her words
Wow smh good way to hv a child start hving eating disorders and be worried all the time about their weight, looks, etc. You can be concerned and aware and then there is this behavior. You do not tell a child that at all. She could hv used it as a teaching moment and just educate and talk about the importance of not eating too much sugar and eating healthy. Give her the snack obviously but also talk about servings too but in a positive way. Your mom should hv came to you with concerns as well.
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Keep grandma away from her
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Perhaps you should educate your mother as to how fun it will be for your daughter to have therapy as an adult, or an eating disorder as a teen, or heaven forbid self esteem driven suicidal thoughts because of acceptance issues from someone that should be pouring unconditional love all over her
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Grama needs boundaries.
Keep your mom the hell away from her to start off.
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Maybe your mother should be more tactful but I don’t see what the problem is with an apple instead of a cookie? You say your child is already self conscious of her size then maybe you too should do more for her and feed her better! I am of the opinion that feeding your child too much and allowing them to become unhealthy or ashamed about their size is a form of child abuse
This is neither your mother or your child’s fault… It on you 
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Ion know my kids at what they wanted at my house and at my moms they did get a limit bc really it’s not what u eat but how much you eat I can eat out everyday 6 times a day and still not get any bigger but to be far I only eat one sandwich and a handful of fries with a small drink
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Yes tell her not to listen to that crap she’s only six that’s a good way to get her to turn anorexic and or have so many other problems and mental health issues she’s way too young to be worrying about how she looks that is Terrible of your mother to do that and u need to address it with her as well because words can go along way and cause a lifetime of mental health problems at the end of the day u have to protect your babygirl. It’s one thing to want her to eat healthy because it’s good for her but it shouldn’t have anything to do with how she looks on the outside!
Old people are just like that. Apples probably are a better option and it is a good idea to teach kids to eat healthy
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My foster mom told me to my face when I 9 years old that I would have weight problems when I got older which is true I do have weight problems now but I’m scarred from her practically calling me fat to my face as a child when I started doing sports in high school because that’s what I wanted to do she started throwing donuts in my face not literally but because now that I was active she’s like I’ll get you donuts now which was hard because I was in track and field and cross country so I didn’t want to gain my weight back now to this day I’m literally trying so hard lose this weight because I really want to look good for my photo shoot with Seattle Talent, but it’s hard when my daughter’s dad is now bringing my weakness into the house I’m not saying he can’t eat it, but I would like a little support and motivation that I didn’t have
Perhaps IF your daughter is overweight, you all do fun things with her to increase her activity level and ensure her weight doesn’t become an issue, WHILE telling your mother her methods are barbaric and she needs to check herself. Body positivity is fantastic, but there are too many parents giving their kids crap to eat/drink and commenting ‘they’re just big boned like me/they eat just like me’. A cookie isn’t horrible, but a whole batch in a day/2 days? Perspective. No victimizing. Love yourself always, and have treats, but moderation with healthy options.
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Tell your kid to tell her grandma to stfu and worry about her own body.
While I do understand how as a parent you would feel hurt by this (I would feel the same way about body shaming and creating a negative complex in a child) I think it’s important for you to let her know she’s perfect the way she is and teach her about her body.
I think it’s a good time to explain healthy choices if you haven’t done so already and let her know that it’s okay to have sweet stuff in moderation and the importance of eating good food and what it does for your body.
My son loves sugar so we try to remind him often about sugar bugs and the impact they have on his teeth, his body, his mind, and his body overall and he usually makes good choices. He’s been a better about drinking water and has always been good about fruits and veggies. He’s 5 though so if there are cookies on the counter he’s obviously going to want one. I just make sure he knows to balance that. If he wants a cookie then he needs to have water and I offer a healthier lunch/dinner/snack and he doesn’t get dessert.
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Just have a talk with your daughter about food choices, as she is already aware–nothing like knowledge to help educate crude remarks!! Also have a discussion with your mother about trying to be more helpful instead of critical! IO was skinny until I was old enough to join yje work force and REALL world, then developed poor food choices so when I was upset. I ate and gained! Might as well start now, at a young age, how to make better choices as stress starts young and in our society, overweight is usually a HOt, DEBILITATING TOPIC!! gIVE HER tools NOW SO SHE CAN BE IN CHARGE!!
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What does she weigh and how tall is she? It’s easy to tell when someone is overweight or obese. Your mom is not wrong if your child is crossing those lines. Childhood obesity is a problem in the U.S. and many parents don’t give a damn. They think “Oh, they’re cute chubby.” or “They’ll grow out of it.”. Parents often encourage obesity. If kids are heavy, they probably notice and wonder why. My chubby friends noticed in school and were said about it. Their parents(morbidly obese) told them that’s just how they are instead of doing anything about it. I get the want to jump on defense, but sometimes, it takes someone else pointing out something before a problem gets the attention it needs.
Schedule an appointment with a nutritionist and see what is said. Sometimes, pediatricians make comments about a child’s weight nicely and parents just ignore it.
Yall need to chill out. She didn’t say " fat". This is why people get so offended these days. People reading into things that probably weren’t meant the way people are taking them.
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Exactly that. You tell her not to listen to grandma. You tell her and remind each day how beautiful and perfect she is.
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Tell her ugly comes in many forms and looks is not one of them. Assure her she is beautiful but more important that she is strong and to be confident… She is going to come across ugly people throughout her entire life and not to let other people EVER tell her she is anything less than perfect
My MIL pinched and shook my bonus daughter’s tummy and said she was gaining weight. Reminded me of when my grandma would see if she could fit her whole hand around my upper arm and if she couldn’t she’d tell me to lose weight. Wtf is wrong with these women? 
I’d actually slap her oh my god
This is such a delicate matter. I was harassed as a child but to my eating habits. From my own family as well. It just got worse from there. I am struggling with it with my oldest child going overboard on food in general. Yelling and calling your child fad is very much out of line. Work with your child in a healthy manner and assure your child that your mothers way of handling it was harsh. Just be supportive. 
Just talk to them. Together or separately… let them know it’s unacceptable
When I was younger I watched my moms weight go up and remember the mean things my grandmother would say to my mom and I remember my mom crying often just from being miserable and trying hard to lose weight and that stuck with me and at 13 I developed an eating disorder that I battled heavily into early adulthood. I was determined to never let myself get like that. I understand grandma’s concern and support the healthy snacks over junk especially if the child/person is overweight but some are very sensitive to words and don’t see the positive when corrected. She could’ve said something different for sure but she wasn’t wrong at all for taking it and replacing it for something healthier. If weight become so an issue as a child I really put it on the parents. It’s the parents job to support and enforce healthy eating otherwise they too are responsible for their kids getting bullied and feeling bad about themselves.
Why is there no other option. If my parent degraded my child I wouldn’t be sending them there. And as a grandmother of 6 beautiful kids I would never do or say anything to belittle them. Shame on your mum
Regardless of what your mom thinks is okay words hurt! My dad used to call me lard a**. I was never big, although I spent all my teen years thinking that I was huge and believing it, but now I am 76 years old and still have an amazing inferiority complex. I am very uncomfortable when I go out in public that has stuck with me all these years. I think I would find someone else to watch your child little thing. And I will tell you you can’t really tell the size a child would be when they become adults. I have grandsons who are now in their 20s and older that were a little bit on the Husky side when they were young and then when they hit their late teens they all shot up and send out. That’s why they call it baby fat Although that’s not a nice expression either in my opinion
My moms step mom made a comment similar to this when I was 8
I’m 23 now and it still effects my eating habits. I literally hate eating bc of that comment and many more she’d made.
You have every right to be pissed bc your daughter will remember that for the rest of her life.
My grandmother would push good on my siblings then tell me I was too fat
Leftme scarred. Grandma’s please pay attention the words really do hurt and never helps
Tell your mother never to talk like that to your daughter,stick up for your child.
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Every one saying cut grandma out her life need to get a grip.
Grandma was wrong for addressing it with the child, she should have voiced her concerns to you as her parent. There’s nothing wrong with an apple instead of a cookie, though she shouldn’t have made the comment to the child, but she was probably concerned, kids can be cruel an she was probably thinking she wouldn’t want your child to get bullied. She just went about it in the wrong way. If your worried about her weight, try to naturally include more exercise in your day to day activities, walk to school instead of drive, go swimming, bike riding, ask her if she would want to start a sport or dance ect…
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Well if she is fat, then make her eat the apple. It’s not everyone’s responsibility to coddle you fat kid.
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my son is told hes over weight by doctors and had to get blood work done to check for diabites. he is a bigger boy hes taller and in the higher % for height. hes very self conscious and just turned 7. i know how your feeling, i dont really have advice as to what to do… maybe just talk to her! tell her not to say those things.
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Do it back to her. Next time she goes to shove something in her mouth just politely say… do you think you should be eating that, I’m concerned about your weight. You’ve been putting on a few pounds lately…
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Address it infront of both together. Let your child see you put your mom in her place about someone else’s body. Also talk to your kid about mixing up snacks
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Tell your mother she needs to apologize and never speak to any of your kids about weight or she will no longer see them if she is toxic! There is always other options
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Talk to your Mom about speaking with a bit more sensitivity.
Talk to your daughter about how grandmother just wants her to be healthy.
Talk to your daughter about healthy food choices.
And keep healthy food and treats in the house
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Maybe send a lunch box with snacks that you approve of
And let your daughter help
Pick out what goes into it. That way she learns healthy habits and is more in control not grandma
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I wouldnt send her. I’d seriously find a friend you trust or someone else to watch her. That can emotionally damage her
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If anyone were to talk to my kid that way they’d be cut off from being alone with my kid! That is bullying.
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Tell her to mind her own business too many people pry into what others do.
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Sorry not sorry I would remove my child from this environment mom or not I cut off my mom years ago before I even had my girls because of the toxic life she brought me and my siblings up in and I knew I had to so my girls are 11 and 12 and they have never stayed the night with my mother or even alone at all because I don’t trust her parenting I was told as a child I was fat I was adopted because know one could possibly lo e a kid like me and that has stuck with me my entire life im now 47 I didn’t have kids until I was 35 because I was terrified I would repeat that horrible cycle but I learned iam not her and iam a good mother to my girls and my bonus kid so I would talk to your mother and if she isn’t able to understand your concerns then tou need to find other childcare and let her know that when she can treat your child with respect and watch how she speaks to her then there will be no more contact until then it’s your job as her mother to protect her from toxic people especially at 6 im a grandma also and I would never tell my daughters or my grandbabies this smh
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My youngest daughter is chunky. Not at all fat by any means but she’s thick, has a booty, has a small tummy… my mom started making comments to her about her weight, eating habits, etc. Just as she did to me when I was that age. I told her in no uncertain terms that telling a 7 (now 8) year old that they’re fat or getting fat is NOT ok. I think we’ve mostly curbed her comments but I remind my daughter that she is NOT fat and that grandma has an illness (a legitimate eating disorder and body dysmorphia). I explain to my daughter in terms she can understand why grandma thinks the way she does. And any time my mom has made comments to her about her eating habits or body size I address it immediately and in front of my daughter. Which is very important. It’s important that our kids can see that we’re sticking up for them when it’s needed most.
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Stick up for your kid and put the biggest mama bear foot down on this one. Don’t allow her to see your daughter without you and immediately find different child care. Honestly I wouldn’t even have any outings where you’ll eat together. The amount of torment that that one comment will cause her is unbelievable, but I’m sure I don’t have to tell you this if that’s your mom. And that’s if that’s the only time she’s said it. For one negative thing said to a child it take 1000 positive things. The people in our kids lives become our kids inner voice. That why it’s extremely detrimental to always be negative.
Comments like “you’re fat” “you’re lazy” “I don’t like your hair” “you’re stupid” so on and so on… those comments and much worse play on repeat in a child’s mind and they believe it whole heartedly because kids are taught to listen to grown up so when a grown up says horrible things to them they must listen and it must be true.
Honestly almost anyone is better then your mom. Maybe the 15 y.o. neighbor down the street?
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Maybe start packing her food and tell your Mom she is not to stop her from eating anything you send. Pack her all the snacks you deem fit. My Mom and sister did this to me growing up and it does hurt very much. Im sorry this happened to your daughter.
Probably not the right answer here but I’d slap the shit out my mom if she spoke to my child like that!
I wouldn’t be having my child around her until she verbally apologizes to her face saying something of the sort “grandma is very sorry and I was wrong for saying that mean thing to you. You’re perfect In every way.”
But until then when she actually acknowledges her wrong doing I wouldn’t have her.
Send her information on how eating disorders are created. Food/fat shaming a child, a very young one at that can absolutely result in that and other things.
Keep her away from her…this will destroy herself esteem and make weight an issue as she grows up. Poor baby 
ugh why are ppl so dumb like that
Her grandma is not wrong. She asked her to try and eat healthier.
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I would cut her off completely and find another provider or family member. She is 6 and hasn’t even gone through all the growing stages.
The older generation has no filter…you’ve got to love it!
My grandmother was the same way, but loved me oh so much!! She could have saved the comment, and told her to try an apple instead, but I’m sure she has her best interest at heart…and you have to love her honesty!
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Flat out tell her right there that she is perfect and that your mother is wrong. It might cause issues with you and your mom but your daughter will know that you have her back
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I think you need to have a serious talk with your mother about how it hurt you as a child & don’t want the same for your daughter. We all do & say things sometimes without thinking about it so just forgive your mom after “the talk” & let her know in no uncertain terms that its a “one & done” conversation. Also, let your daughter know how many snacks she’s allowed per day & if she still wants something to eat tell her what she can eat like fruit, spoon of peanut butter, cheese stick, etc
I don’t think the grandma should have used the word Fat , however taking the cookies away and replacing it with an apple is good parenting. . . You have to have a balance a cookie 
and an apple 
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I would find someone else to watch her and tell your mom you will buy your child her own food she can have for a snack and right in front of your daughter tell your mom she can stop fat shaming and bullying a 6 year old and if she doesn’t then you both will be done with her
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She isn’t wrong to try and get your little girl to eat healthy snacks and to teach her about eating healthy, but if she made your daughter feel self conscious, that should definitely be addressed.
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U constantly tell your daughter she’s perfect. Your mother sounds toxic to your daughter she is six. Not that it’s ok at any age!
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Honestly, is your daughter overweight?
If it was a random cookie grab with decent general eating habits then your mom may have been wrong. But if your daughter is overweight and developing bad eating habits at an early age then you may want to thank your mom.
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Pack your daughter a snack pack. Tell your mom these are her snacks for the day and you have approved them. And to please not mention her size. You and your Dr monitors her growth. Prayers
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Sit down with your mom and tell her like it is. You will not tolerate her fat shaming your daughter the way she did to you as a child. Have your daughter there as well and let her tell her grandma how it made her feel and if she still say anything out of the way, get up walk out with your daughter. She has no damn right to say that to you your daughter or anyone for that matter. It can have a lasting effect on that person.
My mom would NO longer be allowed around my child! Unless your dr is worried about your daughters weight then I wouldn’t be worried about it!
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My dad does this daily to both my kids who are 10&13. He’s done this to them since they’ve been eating and walking by themselves. I had to always say something to him and tell them he’s opinions is olden days. So they had alot of beauty standards that were very unhealthy so he doesn’t understand how things are different now and what matters what you think and if you feel good.
I live by example as much as I can. And I speak to them about everything no matter how painful it is
Good luck you got this too mama!!!