My mom likes to point out things she doesn’t like with my parenting in front of the kids…such as the fact she thinks they don’t eat enough…or how their glasses fit…I’ve asked her several times to not point things out she has issues with in front of the kids to save them for private. I’m currently battling my seven-year-old to wear his glasses because “grandma said they didn’t fit.”
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mom corrects my parenting in front of my kid: Advice?
U may have to make her mad. Mine did that too for awhile until I stood my ground and told her if she doesn’t have anything nice to say then don’t talk to us. And if she didn’t like how I do things then don’t come around. I love my mom and I have her 1st grandchild but I had to do it. And now it’s better. If she don’t like how I do stuff she tells me in private.
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Just say, let me parent my children okay…that’s what I say and mom always says you’re right, I’m sorry
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Your mom needs to stay out of this
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If you live with her you need to move if you do not id limit time with her
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Sounds like Granada’s doesn’t need to be around
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Time to keep kids so busy that they don’t have time to spend with grandma. Just because she’s grandma doesn’t mean she gets a say in anything
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My grandmother was this way and if I said anything she told me how I felt about it was a personal problem so we stopped going around
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Just tell her to mind her own darn business or stay away. Simple as that
Tell grandma if she doesn’t like the way they fit get out some cash and buy them more
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I honestly see no problem with loving ppl from a distance. If she can’t respect you as a parent then don’t come by.
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What grandma knows doesn’t work anymore, that’s very thin line in that generational curse, everyone has it, but denies it. Help heal the generational curse, tell grandma that her methods worked on you, but not your kids.
She needs to keep her mouth shut. My grandmother on my moms side was crazy I mean bat shit crazy anr alcoholic my mom kept us from her till she cleaned up her act. Good luck
You have to be FIRM and tell your mother you are the kids mom. She raised hers, time to let you raise yours. You will also have to tell her if this behavior doesn’t stop she will have limited access to the children. And you will have to mean it and stick to it!
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I would make it clear that we won’t continue coming around if it doesn’t stop.
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I had to blatantly put both our parents in their place in front the kids and say “grandma and grandpa are NOT in charge”. And to our parents “no more with doing this in front the kids or we won’t come over, speak to me privately “
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My mom does the same and denies when I confront her. Unfortunately, I have blown up on her in front of the kids, which is the only part i feel bad about.
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Put her in her place or it’ll only get worse. Some grandparents have an over inflated sense of entitlement and need to be reminded who the actual parent is.
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I personally dont let my mother have a damn thing to say about my parenting! Especially bc she was not really a parent to me whatsoever 
and she knows this… however I can say due to her actions I have suspended visits with my daughter until she decided to get her shit together. Bc I will always do what is overall better for my daughter and my family, just bc we are related does not mean I have to accept the way she does certain things etc
Exactly why I keep my distance from mine!!! Also if any other relatives felt the same, then hey leave them behind too, because at the end of the day… YOU’RE THE PARENT AND THEY NEED TO RESPECT THAT ALSO THE BOUNDARIES THAT YOU SET IN PLACE!!!
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Tell her to stop or leave
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Girl get out of there quick. You are mom. What you say for your child goes. You parent cannot parent you child. Stand your ground mama. Or this will be a constant everyday battle and your child will not know who to listen to.
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Right there on the spot in front of my child I would take charge. If grandma says to my son your glasses don’t fit…i would say it’s a good think our eye doctor is so educated with years of experience so he knows better then grandma. You tried the nice way. Do not let a grandparent usurp your authority. But in fairness if the child is not feeling like he has a comfortable fit when wearing his glasses maybe a quick trip to the optical center where you purchased could adjust the frames or reassure the child that everything is alright and just takes a little getting used to. An frame adjustment is usually free.
On the one hand.
Having discussions with opposing views in front of children can absolutely be beneficial if it’s done correctly…Because it shows them how to appropriately discuss Thier feelings/thoughts/opinions in a respectful way and often to find a compromise or to walk away agreeing to disagree.
I’ve had several discussions in front of my kids about my kids and my decisions regarding them because someone chose to say something.
Rather than letting it go…I address it.
My grandma (who I love dearly and who truly only has the best of intentions) wanted to buy my son some snacks… He’d mentioned it and she asked in front of him. I said no. And I explained that We’ve gotten into a pattern where he just wants to snack and doesn’t want to eat actual meals. He’s 8 and school starts in three weeks. If we cannot get him off the snacking routine now we’re in for a really rough time when school starts.
She then asked about buying a special little treat to give when I felt it was appropriate and again I said no. I told her that we just couldn’t keep snacks in the house for a while.
They’ve already got Popcicles galore in the garage deep freeze for special treats.
She said about simply hiding them.
So I told her how I had breakfast bars for me that we keep in my room…on top of a shelf.
They’re about 7 feet up mind you (I can barely reach them)…and that my child will sneak into my room stack stuff up to climb and get them. That’s dangerous in and of itself. And I should not have to accompany him to the bathroom at 8.
I said this all in the store in front of him and anyone else who was listening in.
She may not have agreed but let it go.
So if she’s saying your kids glasses don’t fit correctly…
Straight up tell her in front of your child…
That that’s what was available (if that’s the truth) or that perhaps the arms need to be adjusted by the optometrist’s office but in the meantime they still need to be worn because xyz (like for us not wearing his glasses could seriously result in loss of vision and/or surgery).
Some people just don’t have filters. They say what crosses Thier mind and don’t really mean any harm by it as a person I try really hard to take intent into account in situations like this.
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Ask her to stop. If she doesn’t, then stop going around her 
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I would of told her off. I know its your mom , but I won’t have anyone undermine me… yes at first id be patient but you already said you talked. Ig my mother just wouldn’t see us
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Just leave. As soon as she makes the comment, pack up and go until she respects your boundary.
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Im grandma and greatgrand and thats just rude to put down your child to there kids
Stop visiting her as much. She will get the hint.
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Healthy boundaries are important!
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Nope. Just effin nope.
I’ve asked before. I’ll try one more time. Any other incidents and you will be shown the door. If you cannot respect me as their mother, you will not be tolerated around my family.
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Agree in public, correct in private. Mom if you aren’t going to respect me as a mother Infront of my children you are not welcome around them.
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Parents discipline the children. Nobody else.
They need to knock it off! I’m also a grandma and live with one of my children and grandchildren it’s hard to do but it can be done! Talk to them later as they ask you to do!
Tell your son that grandma is old and senile so she doesn’t Always know what she is talking about bc his glasses look fine on him. And that being able to see well is much more important than what someone thinks anyways.
Then tell your mom that if she continues to do something that she KNOWS bothers you… then you are just going to have to convince your kids that grandma is getting old and crazy so sometimes she says things that she doesn’t ja mean. Lol
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Tough love… until you can shut it in front of them they can’t be around you! There’s a difference in being vindictive and holding children from family and doing what’s best for the children! My son told me one time not to talk to him like that because Bea will spank you and I called my mom right up like hey tell this little shit you won’t spank me for telling him repeatedly and rather loudly to pick up his toys lol and she did she told him maybe she might have to spank him and he gave me a horrified look and went and picked up his toys!! Btw she also told him she would never spank him but it really helped that she had my back not his🤷♀️
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I turned it around on my mil. Say for example with the glasses thing, I’d look at her all excitedly and say omg thank you!!! Then look at my child and say Gramma said she’s getting you new glasses isn’t that sweet? Say thank you gramma. Then she’s backed into a corner and has to front the money or look like a chump. She quit bringing stuff up after a few hundred dollars.
Don’t play with me lady, I’ll make you broke
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Take time away from her
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Nope nope nope… doesn’t matter what she thinks…those are your kids…and as long as you are not hurting them she needs to keep her mouth shut. Same with your rules for the children…even if she does not agree…she needs to follow them amyway.
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If she won’t stop then give her an ultimatum if you want to visit with them then keep your opinions to yourself unless asked for them or there won’t be any visits
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If she can’t be respectful then don’t see her as much. She makes a crap comment pack up and leave. Maybe the eye doctor would be kind enough to talk to kiddo about the glasses fitting.
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You can correct your mom and take advice from Facebook warriors but at the end of the day, have a one on with your mom. Deal with the issues that bother you with her interference. As a grandma I needed to here the things my children didn’t like and corrected it. Your mom should do the same.
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Yeah thats not ok at all. If she cant learn to keep her mouth shut about some things then I wouldnt visit with her anymore. You are the parent not her.
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“Yeah, but Gma also doesn’t know what (insert tiktok or some other thing that your kid knows a lot about) so maybe we just listen to what she does know about and continue to wear your glasses because your dr said so.”
it can also be a conversation about what she’s good at and repecting the opinion of someone who is a specialist.
Do this in front of your mom so she realizes that she needs to stay in her lane.
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I told my kids grandma’s opinions are meant to be helpful but she doesn’t have all the facts like I do. I am the mom.
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Ask IF she is an optometrist ? No? wow well the professionals fit the glasses for your son so they do in fact fit. Just tell them grandma doesnt have all the current info so she may “suggest things” to be helpful but in the end listen to mom. Tell her to respect your boundaries or you will limit visits.
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NOT OK! No one on this planet has any right to tell you how to raise your children. Someone tried to tell me whtmat I was doing wrong, my response? “OH?!?! I HAD NO IDEA HE CAME OUT OF YOUR VAGINA?!?!” Shut them up pretty fast.
Tell Mom, gee I am sorry nothing seems to be right - so stop coming over. We won’t to coming to visit you either.
My mom does this as well. Even went to the point of threatening to call cps on me. I told her to go ahead bc nothing I do is abuse or neglect. Kids need discipline and structure. But I stopped going around her as much and told her she’s not their parent and she’s not going to overstep me and make my kids be disrespectful. She has done a lot better recently.
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Tell her plain and simple that she either backs you up in front of the kids or there’s going to be issues… The kids see this and know it’s okay to go against you, not listen to you, or know your word is law (basically). If she has a question or an issue she can speak to you in private. It sets up real discord within the family when outsiders (even when it’s grandparents) do this. It’s not that you do t want her opinions it’s just that you want her to address it with just you in private or at least not right in front of the kiddos. You are not asking for too much.
I’m not even nice about these kinda thing at all these are my kid they came from my body I wit raise them how I see fit I don’t care if I came from your body or there father from his mother not their kids I will flat out tell my kid I don’t give a fart what your grandma says I’m mom and what I says goes not her. Listen to her will get their little butt spanked and they know it
Tell her to stop it, or keep her mouth shut!
Period!
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Take your child into the eye doctor, Walmart or any other eye glasses place to have the glasses adjusted to remove any concerns your child has. Stop taking your child over to visit so much. You need time to explore and have experiences together. Find free events, parks and use the resources in your area to further educate while having fun close to home together instead. You’ll find the time freeing and not be so dependent on your mother and the mental draining trying to wrap your head around her narcissistic traits.
It’s your child. If she wants to tell you how to parent, she should have another kid. If not she needs to keep her 2 cents to herself
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That is horrible.Tell her to stop or she won’t be seeing the kids often. I actually would’ve told my parents to myob even if it was to me without the children hearing it. Lol. I paid my own way…I chose to have children. It is not anyone’s business except the parents
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Let her know this pair is on her.
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Tell her stfu and don’t come around her as much worked wonders for me
If my mom did this to me, there would be no more visits. I’d imagine if the visits stopped she’d try harder to respect the boundaries…of course she’d be given the chance to prove it, then we’d go from there.
I have shut my parents down in front of my daughter. I have also limited their access until they get it. I birthed her. What I say goes. Period.
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Pull her aside and tell her to stay in her lane. She had her chance and you are the parent.
Don’t ask hun. She needs to respect you as an adult mom or not. I had the same problem with my mom. I told her not to do it and told her what the consequences of her actions would be. She did it and I stuck to my guns on what would happen. I ain’t gonna lie she got mad but after about a week she got that I was serious
Just look her in the eye and say "where are you going tonight dressed like that, 1983? And just let her and her leg warmers stew on that for an hour or so then randomly start singing Duran Duran hungry like the wolf while breakdancing on top of a case of aqua net
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Take your kid pack there bag and leave them at your moms house, her tone will change real quick
Well in part you’re giving her permission to do this because you’re telling her you want to hear her criticism in private. You should let her know that even if her intentions are good, she is interfering and over stepping and it’s not appreciated or appropriate.
If she continues to be disrespectful and violate your boundaries then I would take a big break from her.
Maybe then she will take you seriously.
I would correct your mother in front of the kids by saying something like grandma doesn’t live here or grandma isn’t your mother. or grandma is just visiting so you still need to listen to me your mother.
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I’d tell her how beautiful my child looks and maybe she can’t see good, to lift up my child, then say stop if you have nothing good to say
Tell her if she can’t respect your boundaries that you won’t be taking your kids around her as often, she’ll either stop or show you her true colors
Tell her she either backs off belittling you infront of your children or you just won’t go round anymore. Ask her how she would feel if her
Mother or mother in law was doing it constantly in front of her kids to the point they won’t listen no more. I’ve fallen out with my mother in the passed for undermining me and belittling me infront of them. She sharp got the message wen she knew I wouldn’t stand for it. Respect works both ways
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To do it infront of your kids is undermining you which isn’t good, it’ll make them less likely to listen to you and take you seriously. I think the fact you’ve told her how you feel about her doing it and the fact she’s carried on says a lot. Tell her they are your kids and you are the only one who has the right to parent them! X
Yep! My mum always puts her foot in it, she once said to my son, ‘you’re not an outdoor kid are you’ and after that every time I wanted to go in the garden, his reply was ‘I’m not an outdoor kid mum’ 
Your child, your rules. NOONE can tell you anything. If she doesn’t like it, tell her where to go. Mother or not. Simple!
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Grandma can pack it in her ass and stay at her house, my house my rules, that’s what your grandma taught me… Love my Mom, tell it how it is.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mom corrects my parenting in front of my kid: Advice?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mom corrects my parenting in front of my kid: Advice?
Maybe be a little grateful that your mother is alive and that she wants to spend time with your kids? Many are not so fortunate…
I had that issue with my mom she tried brainwashing my older son to hate me she got him to stop eating healthy foods because she was say ewwww that looks nasty, I’d have him off the pacifier at 9 months she gave it back to him she gave him soda when I clearly said no at 1 years old so I had to put her in her place my son is now 16 years old & she still tries it but he’s old enough to know better now. Now he doesn’t even associate with her or my dad because of how they still try to brainwash him. You have to say something otherwise it’ll get worse
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Tell her to step off. She needs to understand they are your children and she can either politely give advice in private or not at all. Tell.her the more she interferes like that on purpose the less she gets to be around her grand kids. You have to draw a hard line and tell her how it’s going to be.
You need to put your foot down. And just tell her that its your kids and your rules. Also make it clear to her that if she continues,you will have to stop her from seeing the kids.
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Grandparents overstep sometimes, and you have to shut that shit down immediately. Even if they mean well, children need to understand that mom and dad are boss. Period. Set your boundaries and stick to them
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Time to put your foot down. She is grandma you are Mother seems she needs some reminding.
I’m not the beat around the bush kind of person so I tell it how it is I know not everyone is like that so maybe go have a lunch date or something just the two of you and kindly remind her 
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You need to put some distance between your kids and her. If she’s set on doing whatever she wants with your kids and undermining you, she’s not going to change. My mom is the same way.
Clearly speaking to her is falling on deaf ears so I’d explain to your kids that grandma is your mum and being a mum doesn’t end at a certain age. So with tongue in cheek say, I will always be your mum even when your a mum/dad. However, you are their mum and so your rules are to be followed, sure you listen to your grandma when she asks you to follow her rules in her house or if she’s minding you and not disrespect her. However, she wasn’t at the opticians, we were and their job is to make sure your glasses fit and not grandma. So if you want to go back to the opticians to get them to check your glasses then lets do that.
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She doesn’t respect you as a momma, period. Stop letting her see your kids while blatantly disrespecting you. You’ve talked to her several times about this and she keeps doing it…If she cares about your kids then not getting to see them will hurt her and she’ll learn if she wants to see your babies then she’ll have to respect you and your wishes. Best of luck! Love and hugs. 
My mum did this to me a while back, I looked straight at her and said you are the lats person to give ME parenting advice. She hasn’t done it again
Maybe explain how her doing that to you & this behavior if his has a direct cause and effect relationship here. How when she said that about his glasse he obviously heard it & now he is defying you on account of grandmas thoughts. You dont have to be mean if you dont like but for sure i would definitely have to talk to my mom realistically about it if it were me. Because shes making parenting your son harder on you & him by doing that & adding stress.
She’s straight up disrespecting and micromanaging you in front of your kids. That’s major disrespect. If she can’t accept that she’s not in control of what you do with your kids, she doesn’t get to be around your kids. Period. Your kids will see her behavior being tolerated and allow people to do the same to them in the future. Set a boundary and enforce it as needed.
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I agree with alot of this. Just remind her that she is the grandparent. Not the mother. If she has something to point out to either text you or talk in private.
Time for Gma to be put on a time out. She’s not just disagreeing with you, she’s undermining your parenting in front of your children. This is damaging to them. IMO I would go NC for awhile. When she comes back to you wondering what the heck is going on, be Very Blunt. Her behavior Will Not continue or the time out can go on indefinitely. THAT is all she will be Allowed to have control over. Good luck 
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I’d nip that in the bud while you can. Mine taught my kids that they dont have to listen to me, among many other things, while I was staying with her, and I’m on year 3 of trying to reverse a year of damage and it is a constant battle.
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Excuse me, with all due respect … I AM MOM to my child. You did your time, your way … now let me do mine, my way. Hear me roar !!! …. That’s what I’d say anyway 
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Tell her she had her time to parent. Now it’s your turn and to stay out of it. If she can’t be respectful of you and your parenting style, she doesn’t need to be around your kids… I just went through this in May/June and this is exactly why I said… things changed fast.
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Tell her if she can’t respect you, your rules, and boundaries - then she can kick rocks and not have the privilege of seeing your kids I’ve had to say it to my mom and only had to say it once
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Nows a good time for 7year old to learn just because dom one says it, doesn’t make it true. Spend time asking them how they think their glasses fit, if you have glasses, show them how yours fit and teach your kid to make their own judgement based on information. Gma is out of line, but short of removing her from your life, teaching your kids her word isn’t gospel will make your life easier
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I would remind her whose kids they are…in front of my kids. Nobody will undermine my parenting without being told where to shove it.
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How hard is it to say to parents, in laws, grandparents ect that they had their time to parent and they need to accept that? I hate when any of our family tries to tell me what to do with my kids and such and such. I know family means well, but you’re going to live life in a revolving door of drama if you don’t just say something.
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It may seem harsh or be an unpopular opinion (I didn’t read the comments), but it sounds like it’s time to take a break from her. If she can’t respect your boundaries and rules, she doesn’t need to be around your kids. She’s doing something very unbeneficial for and to them. There younger years set the tone of being self conscious, and that’s what she’s making them. I had anxiety eating in front of people because my aunt ALWAYS made a comment. I either didn’t eat enough, or I ate to much, or I shouldn’t eat this, or I should I eat that. It took me almost a year before I’d eat infront of my partner. I stopped eating lunch in school because of all of it. The glasses thing, your child needs to wear them or he wouldn’t have them. She made a comment and now he’s uncomfortable in them and wearing them. It’s not okay, she’s been asked to stop, and she clearly doesn’t care or doesn’t respect you as their parent. She’s not doing anything helpful. You need to tell her, they are your kids and you will do as you see fit in any and every situation, if that can’t be respected, she needs to stay away because she’s unwelcome in your home.
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I wish my mom was here to question my parenting. I understand it does cause more work for you but these comments are making me so sad. I don’t disagree with them but I hope they wouldn’t really be so harsh with their mamas cuz they will wish they were there to nitpick when they’re gone! Let your mom know her actions bother you but be gentle, she means well 
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Politely remind her she raised you well and now it’s your turn to do the same for YOUR children. Set boundaries now and hopefully they will be respected.
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