I’m currently seven months pregnant with my 2nd child. And I’m going back and forth in my head about putting her dad on the birth certificate and giving her his last name. My mom is totally against it and felt I shouldn’t have done it with my first baby. It’s just so hard to decide. I’ve only been with him barely a year. My first borns father and I were together for five years, and I never once regretted giving my son his last name. Even though the day I left the hospital, he said he was only nice to me so he could sign the birth certificate. My mom is worried about them having the right to just leave the state and not bring my child back to me. Saying I was with my first baby daddy for so long, I never once had that worry. I do now, even though I know they aren’t the same person. I’m still so uncertain about the right move to make.
My grandson has his mother’s maiden name and the father did sign the birth certificate. She told him the only way she would put the bio father as his last name is if they were married (they didn’t). She has been very honest about the bio father with her son as he’s in his 20s now. Neither father and son have even met each other since he was about 16mo old. They do know how to contact each other, but so far, that hasn’t happened.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mom doesn't think my childs father should sign the birth certificate: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
If he’s in your life and the child’s life then yes he deserves and should be on the birth certificate and given his last name
Don’t put him on there. That way he has no rights to the child.
It is his child so… Yeah put him on it.
Give the baby your last name if you would like.
I dont think it should be your decision to make tbh.He is the father.How would you feel if it was reversed & he had doubts about putting you on it becouse of something his ex did etc.Its 50/50 rights im afraid.If you had a child with him he cant be that bad surely?
thats not how it works
Id listen to your mom. I think she is giving you good advise.
If he has proven he will care for you and baby your mom needs to stay out of things that truly aren’t her business. You trusted him enough to have a child with him, so what is leading you to believe that you can’t trust him now?
The birth certificate is for the biological parent (unless court takes it off or adoption etc) it’s not to pick and choose who goes on it and why. If you have concerns, court…
If you split and need to get child support, and his name is not on the bc then your doing to have to pay for DNA testing. If your relationship with him is good… then respect him and put is name on the bc. This is not your mom’s choice.
So you won’t give HIS baby HIS last name or put him on the birth certificate bc you’re scared that’s selfish!!
Just so you know if he fights to be in that child’s life a judge will put him on it anyways… Lol been there before.
Fathers do have rights. Just keep that in mind. This is not your mother’s decision.
He can be on birth certificate and the child not have last name 
I think he should 
be on BC but the name thing is really up to you guys to discuss. The option to change last name later to his if you want is there. I think the two of you need to sit down and talk about these things, remember sometimes what you feel during pregnancy is the hormones, so try to be more rational then emotional(yes I know that’s hard af)
It’s his child. He should be on the birth certificate. He’s there and active so why make a problem? I feel your mother shouldn’t be giving this type of advice.
He’s the dad. He has every right to be on the birth certificate, just like you do. Why do women do this? It’s not your moms kid, she shouldn’t have any say.
Rethink your parenting choices. Why are you even having children with these men?
If he is the father than he goes on the certificate it’s that simple, if he turns out to be an unsupportive father you not allowing him to sign down the road if you would need help financially you couldn’t take him for support
Why wouldn’t you want the father on his child’s birth certificate?? That’s not a decision your mom makes.
I would absolutely NOT!! Your Child can always change it💗
He is the baby dad, my children have their fathers last name and we r not married if we r ever to split up I think he should still have a right to his kids…it is up to u don’t let ur mom tell u different just do what u think is best for ur baby
Your mom didn’t help you make this baby
Have him sign it, because it the right thing to do. Get a parenting plan if you are worried.
Most parenting affidavits have stipulations that the mom has custody until or unless a court says otherwise. Read the parenting affidavit that they’ll have to sign to be on the birth certificate. Plus, you don’t HAVE to give them the fathers’ last name either, even if they’re on the birth certificate
I wouldn’t. My sons dad started harassing me and threatening me after I left him while pregnant. My son has my last name and I am his only legal guardian
I would give him yours
I would just look into stipulations. In my state, I know that just because your name is on the birth certificate doesn’t give you rights. Rights are given by the courts. But in the end do what you think is best for your child, regardless of what others say
He needs to be on the birth certificate.
You can put him on the birth certificate and still give your baby your last name.
It’s up to you, you could still have him be on the birth certificate and not give her the fathers last name. Personally unless I was married my child wouldn’t have the fathers last name.
I had my second son with my boyfriend of only a year and I gave him his dads last name and he’s on the birth certificate. I feel that dads should have just as much rights as the mom. With that all being said you should do whatever you feel is best for your situation.
I didn’t put a father on one of my children birth certificate. He was not good and didn’t care about support. Best choice I ever made. When I found my current husband it was easy to put him on it and change last name. My child now (13) knows the story and still has a relationship with his biological grandmother but no contact with his donor. He’s been in and out of jail and an alcoholic. It was the best for my child to use my maiden name and not put a father when he was born.
My husband and I split when I was 3 months preggy with our third child. Not once did it cross my mind not to put him on the birth certificate. We have since gotten back together and in a much better place. I have my fathers name, and he is on my birth cert even though he denied me from day one, never met him (or him me) and he died when I was young. My mom also thought long and hard and her mom (my grandmother) insisted she not put him down as my father. She did anyways, and I am super grateful she did. I have since connected with all my siblings (I am my mothers only, my fathers 10th). Whether you put him on or not, he can always petition at any time to have his name put on. He could also petition to change the child’s name to his. Just a thought.
It’s not your mother’s decision.
He’s the father, he has every right to be on that birth certificate. Women like you make me sick.
If yall aren’t together, dont do it, you can add him later if you want
Hes the father and he has rights. Think about how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot. You can also hyphenate her last name. She can always pick the one she wants to go by when she’s able to make that decision. Not having his name on the birth certificate doesn’t mean he can’t fight you for custody.
Honestly unless you are married I would give your baby your last name.
Check your state laws. Every state is different.
Look up how your state is. I’m in Alabama. So in Alabama the mom has primary custody of parents aren’t married until a court agreement is made. So if the father was to take off with the child he’d be arrested for kidnapping even if he’s on birth certificate and has last name. Both those things don’t give them more rights to the child than if they didn’t have last name and aren’t on birth certificate. But just depends on your state
I wouldn’t. Listen to your mom on this one.
If you do choose to have him sign the birth certificate hyphenate both last names. It’s what I wish I did with my son.
DONT.
So you are in the states i take it? and im in canada so im not sure how much laws and shit is different. Onviously most of these woman saying put it on he deserves it hasnt dealt with the situation.
I put my baby daddy on the certificate. He seen baby 5 times (last was a month old) he is very toxic i was told by policd n social qorkers not to have baby around him until he did parenting programs ext he never did. I got together with an ex (i had another kid with already) when baby was 2 months old this guy i am still with and that chikd is almost 4! Her bio dad still hasnt seen her since a month or ever finacially supported her. For the last TWO YEARS. Me and my partner have been dealing with and going through supreme court to get her legally adopted by my partner and her bio dad off her birth certificate. We have spent thousands and years dealing with this guy who doesnt even know what my daughter looks like all because of the stupud decision to put him on the birth certificate.
If he shows up. Raises her. Pays support. U can always add him later. But i would wait until he proves to be a dad so you dont screw yourself.
Depends on the state in Illinois even if they ain’t on the birth certificate they still have rights to the child
No marriage no name/name on birth certificate. That simple both times for me. I left both my kids fathers still pregnant because I could see the deadbeats they were (and still are! My kids are 19 and 14) and I even told my sons father, my second child, even when we were still together and good his name will not be on it, and the baby will not have his name until when and if he took RESPONSIBILITY for him. Marriage, taking him if we broke up, support, ALL of it or he gets none of it.
My granddaughter had mom’s maiden name and dad’s name on her birth certificate they deserve to have their daddy’s name
It’s not your decision. By all means give her you name. Put that damn man on the certificate
You people don’t have a clue. It doesn’t matter if he is on the birth certificate or not. Once the court has determined paternity that’s all he needs. Now he want automatically have custodial rights but he will have some rights that you can’t do anything about unless he is deemed unfit
If ur wanting child support then he has to be on the birth certificate
It’s in the best interest of the child to have both parents on the birth cert when possible
First, a few facts. Him signing the birth certificate doesn’t automatically give the child his last name. You can let him sign and still give the child your last name!!! Second, him signing that birth certificate doesn’t automatically give him any rights, especially for taking the child out of your possession. Also, you aren’t married so that AUTOMATICALLY makes you the primary, LEGAL custodian! Just some important info to help you decide.
I’m divorced and even I’m not that bitter lol It doesn’t hurt me for my kid to have my ex husbands name because that’s his last name. It’s just a name really names don’t harm anyone.
If he’s not there in hospital he can’t be on birth certificate
So get a custody order in place and they can’t leave the state
Honestly, if you have to even question it, maybe you shouldn’t. Moms are right about a lot of stuff. Have you talked to him about it? What are his thoughts on not being on the birth certificate? He will still be the child’s father.
My child has my last name. I never planned on giving her my sperm donors last name. I didnt put him on the birth certificate. But the courts did after they mandated a paternity test and we got a parenting plan set up. He has no rights. And a NCO because hes a narsasstic abusive pos. But thats just how my life went. Ita up to you What last name you give your child not your mom. But from another mother, who should have listened to her own mother sooner, sometimes their intuition is really on point because they see things from an outside perspective.
I don’t think it is any of your mother’s business. It isn’t her decision. I was with my daughter’s father barely a year when I had her. I still put him on the birth certificate because he is her father and has just as much of a right to our daughter as I do. You don’t HAVE to have the child have his last name (my daughter doesn’t have either of our last names) but I would still put him on the birth certificate.
If you’re worried about that, then go for custody right away to establish an order. He’s that child’s parent as well
No Marriage…baby should have your last name…
My daughters father signed her birth certificate and I gave her my maiden name. My name was different.
If you were uncertain of this man, then you should have taken precautions not to get pregnant, or just not got involved with him in the first place. He is just as much that baby’s father as you are the mother. He deserves to be on the birth certificate, and what’s more, your child deserves it as well. As for the name…you were comfortable giving your first child their father’s last name. I don’t see why this one should be any different.
Well it depends on the relationship you have with your child’s father 
are yall together? If your not do you think he will truly be active in his child’s life? My ex and I wasnt together when one of my daughters was born but I still gave her his last name and he signed the birth certificate and was there when she was born via c-section because I knew he would be there for her also. Just because your not “together” doesn’t account for the relationship they will have with their child. You can also set up custody/visitation once said child is born if your that worried about it
Here you can put the fathers name on the cirtificate and still give the baby your last name. It is easier to get child support if his name is on the certificate.
Stop acting like a stray cat that gets knocked up but their babies don’t need fathers. YOUR children need two parents. Not just sperm donors.
Nope. MY child will have MY last name. You want him to have your last name you better marry me because I carried and gave birth to the kid and we will not have different last names. If we get married later on, great ill change the child’s last name to match ours, but until then the kid gets my last name.
It’s very hard to raise children by yourself.
It’s not up to your mom. If that’s his child then that’s HIS decision. I wouldn’t even question it if he wants to. Don’t let a prior relationship and issue take from this father!! That’s just wrong and selfish
It is his child too. If you have an issue with him being a responsible father, then you to court and get a parenting plan so he can’t just take him wherever he wants. He doesn’t have to be on the BC to get rights, if he is the father than all he needs is a DNA test. Don’t deny the father his rights because your mother or you have issues about past guys. You can give the child a hyphen name so it’s fair.
If he plans on being there for the birth and willingly wants to sign the birth certificate then why not? If he wants the baby to have his last name and you are ok with that, then why not? It’s up to you though. My son’s father was there for his birth but did not sign the birth certificate and my son has my last name. He did not sign the birth certificate because he did not want to and I wasnt about to force him to. Also did not give my son his father’s last name because his father didnt want me to so I was like F you then, he is perfectly fine having my last name.
Hyphenated last name
Get custody order so he can’t leave state.
My hospitals now a days will give the baby the mothers name unless they are married.
Some of these comments are astounding. These poor men. If ANY of you have to worry about whether or not your children’s father should be on the birth certificate or having any rights you should probbbbbably have not slept with that person nor should be having children. If you’re more concerned about being married, you’re selfish as hell. If the man is a good person and you’re doing this, you’re a piece of crap.
You’re literally hurting that child and going to end up doing more harm than good. I said what I said.
It doesn’t matter what last name you give the baby…. He is the father, so he has rights.
I’m thinking mom and her thinks if dad isn’t on birth certificate or have dads last name he dont have any rights…
If he wants to, he can force his right to be in her birth certificate. So if he wants to be on it, and you deny him, he can take you to court, pay for the DNA test and get that right anyways… And then you’re going to look badly for not allowing him. Are you dating this man? Does he want to be a father?
The signing of the birth certificate is to track bloodlines. A parent without a custody arrangement in place has every right to travel with their child, regardless of their name is on that piece of paper or not. Leaving the name off does not take away his rights as a parent.
Well you can add your last name and the dad’s as you both made the child as you both have rights to that child.
If you were uncertain of this man, then you should have taken precautions not to get pregnant.
Your mom has absolutely no business or say in that. She needs to mind her own business. That’s yours and his child, that’s who matters in this. Not what your mother thinks. Imagine you being left out a big important decision when it’s your child because he decided to listen to what his mother wanted rather than you. That’s his baby so he should sign the birth certificate. This is between you and him, your mom needs to learn her place. He has rights, that’s his baby just as much as it is yours. You taking your past issues out with other men on him is immature. You can’t blame others for your past problems.
My mom pressured me into giving my daughter my last name because her dad and I werent married. We are married now and her name was changed. It’s been a sore spot ever since. My biggest regret.
He can sign and baby can still have your last name
Depending on what state you live in…depends on the laws…in tn if the mother and father are not married …then the law states that a child born out of wedlock is the mothers child…my son has his fathers last name…his dad signed voluntary paternity and birth certificate…we were never married…when we had problems I went thru court house etc…even tho he signed everything he literally has no rights to our son bc he has never taken me to court for paternity test…the only right he has is to pay child support bc of voluntary paternity papers…I could literally have him arrested for kidnapping after I LET him take our son…its crazy!! Look up laws in your state… thankfully our son is now almost 15 yr old n we have an Amazing coparenting relationship. Good luck! Oh and its NOBODYS choice but your own when it comes to your child!!!
All kids should have the same last name as the mother, especially if you aren’t married.
It’s his child too. He could easily get a paternity test done and then his name would be put on the birth certificate. Either way, it’s his kid. Unless you have something legally stating otherwise, he could take your kid and there is nothing you could do about it.
Idk why people ask these questions to be honest. It’s your child. So grow a pair and tell her it’s none of her business.
This is a huge problem. Women don’t want the men on the birth certificate but then expect them to act like a father. It is all-or-none. You can’t pick and choose. Poor guy.
If you are not married give the baby your last name
If you all are together why not put his name?
I mean even if you don’t he can take you to court and have you change the babies last name to his if he wanted.
Well your mom has no say. If the dad hasn’t done anything wrong he should be on the certificate, name is whatever you want.
Your mom needs to butt out.
Your mother has ABSOLUTELY NO SAY!
It is that fathers child so he has a right to the child. Normally it is dads last name unless mom deosnt know it. Some with thier mothers last name beleive mom doesnt know the father and that can make things even weirder for them. If the father is going to be involved in their life why would you not give them the bloodlne name? Even if you dont put him on the birth certificate he can sk to be put on, he can take a paternity test to have rights also even IF another mans name is on the birth certificate as being a legally responsible parent. I would give my child his birthright name (fathers last) and would go to court for custody and visitation arrangments before a split and things get nasty. If a split happns then file for child support. A child has a right to both of thier parents!
U can use urs n hes surname
Let him sign it if he is willing. They aren’t the same person. And if he wants to fight it it’s gonna cost you.
If you don’t trust him with your child, it’s not worth the risk. If he wants rights, he can prove himself by making the effort to get those rights legally after the fact.
Of you and so have never been married. You have primary anyway.
Every state is different. If I had to do it all over again?? I have three kids, same Dad, not married, I would have kept their name mine but with the father on the certificate
Whewwww these comments ain’t it…
He can sign it without you giving the baby his last name too