Even if yous aren’t together, that’s still HIS CHILD. He has every right to that child, even if you don’t put his name on it, he can go to the courts and have a judge MAKE YOU put his name on it.
Does it matter about the name or safety?
He can get DNA testing done and then sue you for custody. You could lose your child because of these games. Your mom is wrong to tell you to defraud the father he has rights. It doesn’t matter if he is on the certificate.
If he’s a fight risk make meetings in a safe location with male relatives/friends for protection.
Talk about these decisions with the father. Contact a lawyer and see what your rights are beforehand so if the father makes any threats.
4 Likes
Regardless of what could happen, your child’s father deserves to know. He deserves to be a part of your child’s life. Your mom is worried that they could take the baby and leave, but by not telling the father, you’re pretty much doing the same thing to him. Don’t listen to your mom. That’s messed up.
1 Like
him signing the birth certificate doesn’t mean anything
If you’re already thinking no. I wouldn’t, trust your gut
4 Likes
Immediately file for custody once child is born . If he does not sign BC he doesn’t have to pay support . It is true if there is no custody agreement one party could legally run with child in this case u file emergency petition
It’s not your decision. If he wants to, he can. The baby is also his. 
He has a right to be on the birth certificate. It’s his choice to sign. I think you should give the child their Fathers name. This isn’t about you. If you want child support or insurance form your child in the future I suggest you do it for this reason as well.
3 Likes
If you don’t trust your partner then no reason to be with him in the first place but definitely do not have a child with said person.
#DadsHaveRightsToo
3 Likes
Whatever you do make sure your last name is on that birth certificate. The biological father of my grandson was a monster. He burned and broke both femurs on his 9 day old son. My daughter is getting married to a wonderful man soon. They have a daughter as well as my grandson. Now my grandson has a good father and the monsters last name. It’s sad because my grandson will be the only one in the family with a different name
2 Likes
Is he abusive? Is he an addict of some sorts? I mean I need a little back story there. It sounds like you guys are together, so in that case I’d say this is a discussion you need to have with him. It’s not your moms business. It’s not her call.
That’s just as much his child… you need to do what’s right here and not be selfish. He can sue you if you lie. He can take you to court, get a dna test done and make you legally change your child’s name as well
4 Likes
He has a right to be on the birth certificate if he is the father. Doesnt need to have his last name. By law you cant take the child out of state, especially if a court order is in place, and the father doesnt have permission…
1 Like
Him signing the birth certificate gives him zero rights. Paternity still has to be established. He’s not your husband .
1 Like
So just curious? What if there was an option for your name to not be put on the birth certificate? Bet you wouldn’t hesitate then. Your mother needs to stay out of this. Put his name on it already. It’s his child too. To not do so on the assumption that you won’t stay together or he could take the child away is wrong. Besides I’m sure you are going to want child support so to get it you would have to establish paternity anyways.
To not the father on there is to deny the child rights to the father’s estate should anything happen to him. Not only that, but if you intentionally withhold his name, it can bite you in the butt later should he decide to fight you. And I’m sorry, but keeping a child from his/her other parent - is just plain wrong.
If you guys are not married he doesn’t have a right to take your child outside of the state. Even though he is the dad he has to fight for rights in court in order to be able to have any legal custody of the child.
And if you’re that worried about it then maybe you shouldn’t be with him to tell you the truth. If I was him and you were choosing not to give my baby my last name I’d be pretty pissed and wouldn’t want to be with you.
2 Likes
what dose he say? it’s every right his child? he has rights as well
1 Like
Either way he can take you to court to be put on the birth certificate along with paternity.
He should still be put on the birth certificate… just file for custody as soon as the baby is born if that’s what you’re worried about.
Unless given by a court, he doesn’t have rights to take the child out of the state… you guys aren’t even married. You should take your mothers advice into consideration*
But as a grown woman and mother, you need to think for yourself and your children…
Talking from experience, my mother weren’t married to my father 35 years ago. Got my mothers last name and i am so glad. Kids will ask in school why dont you have the same last name as your mom. He is a dead beat anyway and didn’t even give a damm. If not having him on will affect getting children support, then maby put him on. I dont know how the law works in USA.
If he is the father and is going to be in the babyS life. 
He deserves to be on the birth certificate. Every right to be.
1 Like
So , was your mom there when y’all was banging 
3 Likes
Why does ur mother have a say on this? Is it her child or urs?
If he’s the father he should be on the birth certificate. Doesn’t matter if you have only been with him for 2,4,9 months or years…… you decided to have a baby however long u guys were together so yes he should be on the birth certificate as the father. He will still have a right in the child’s life. Just because he isn’t on the certificate doesn’t mean he doesn’t exist….
2 Likes
Personally I would have him sign it. That doesn’t mean you have to give your child his last name either. And if you ever need to go to court for support or other things then his being on there would make things simpler.
2 Likes
Should have considered this before you made a baby. If you don’t trust him enough to be on the birth certificate why did you allow him to get you pregnant? You’re definitely projecting your past on your future. Also he can file in court and be put on the BC and have his last name added.
Tell you mom to mind her business she didn’t put that baby in you. This is a conversation for you and the father.
3 Likes
From personal experience I agree with your mom
3 Likes
I must be insane… but he’s the baby’s dad. Why are you even considering NOT having him on the birth certificate? You’re in a relationship, you chose to have a baby and I presume you’re going to raise the baby together (whether you stay in a relationship or not is different).
He has every right to be named on his own child’s birth certificate in the same way that you do. Can you imagine how you’d feel if he were talking to his friends and family about you taking away his baby and not giving him rights? Because that’s literally what you and your (awful sounding) mother are doing.
8 Likes
I wish I would have listened to my dad when he told me to give my kids my last name. And just bc he is on the birth certificate doesn’t mean he has to have his last name. Meet in the middle and hyphenate it.
2 Likes
Do what feels right you can change it to his later if it’s going to be a long term relationship
1 Like
As someone who had to make this choice for one of my kids, I say do it. You don’t have to give the child their last name. I did because if something happened to the dad, it would be easier for me to claim social security benefits for my son (without going thru a ton of hoops). Luckily nothing ever happened to his dad. Best of luck to you and your decision.
Is he excited about being a dad? Has he been there for you during your pregnancy? How is he with your existing child? Is he someone you see yourself with long term? Do you have any qualms about how he’ll be as a parent? Have you talked to him about how he wants to raise your child?
Is there a chance he would abandon you, be an abusive (intentionally or not) or absent parent? Have you met his family and friends or anyone else connected to him who might be around your child? Do any of them give you pause about being meddlesome, abusive in any way or bad influences? How was he raised and what affected him positively and negatively? Come up with various scenarios and ask how he would handle them if you haven’t seen them in his interactions with your firstborn. If it’s all good, then add him. If not, think about it.
Maybe read some parenting books or watch parenting videos and talk about how you each feel about them to get a feel for how he’d be with your baby together and if you’d clash or agree in your approach.
Adding him means he will have to pay child support, and will have a say in medical and other decisions. If you split he gets visitation and you can’t say much about what he does with your baby on his time unless it’s dangerous, and you’ll have to prove it in court. He’d also have a say about where you move if it affects visitation.
If you think the relationship might not last or if he’s not looking forward to being a dad, and won’t be present for labor and delivery, you might want to leave him off. You won’t get child support now, or later unless you are able to compel a DNA test and present it in court, in which case he also gets visitation and possible decision-making privileges.
Without his name on the certificate he would not have any rights to the child or parenting decisions, you could leave and move anywhere, and any future husband would be able to adopt without having to get your BF’s signature stating he relinquishes all rights.
Please get on birth control as soon as possible after the birth, especially if he is unwilling to wear a condom or get a vasectomy. You will be extra fertile and if you’re unsure about this guy you don’t need any more kids with him. Also children are expensive and you should always be prepared to support them alone, just in case.
Ask your mom what her reasons are, and ask your friends who have met your BF what they think, including about your mother’s concerns. Is your mom being unreasonable, or are her points valid? Are you thinking hormonally (it happens!) or rationally? What have been your patterns with men in the past that might affect your future with this guy?
Good luck, and congratulations!
He has rights as the father. We can’t take away ones right to parent if they are the parent. No matter what he is the father and should be on the birth certificate. I’d hate if I had a son and the girl thought she can control the whole situation. Let the child have a father. And no he can’t just take the child out of state either.
1 Like
t you think its your childs right to know his or hers dad? i can tell you not basics about your father sucks. tell your mum its not her call to make
1 Like
Honestly my parents weren’t married and I wish my mom gave me her last name instead of my dads. Now im waiting til I get married so I can change it to my mans
1 Like
My daughters dad isn’t on her birth certificate no regrets there because he’s not very involved except when he wants to be and she has my last name too🤷🏼♀️ if he’s not going to be involved don’t worry about him being on it
2 Likes
It doesn’t matter if his name is on the BC or not. As the baby’s father, unless he’s abusive, he has rights and he could compel you to put his name on it, depending on the laws in your state. A court ordered DNA test is all it would take.
2 Likes
Feel like your mom needs to take a seat. This isn’t her child. And if you chose to have a child with this man, why doesn’t he have the right to be on the birth certificate?
2 Likes
That’s what cost orders are for. If he wanted to push it all it takes is a court ordered DNA test. They will amend the birth certificate to put him on it. But you can have it where he can’t leave the state with the child without your permission.
1 Like
If you want him involved in the child’s life and hes a great terrific person put his name on the birth certificate, if he’s not nice, And don’t want to have him involved in your life forever never put your name on it and don’t name him as father.
1 Like
You can put his name on the birth certificate and give the baby your last name. Doesn’t have to have his last name.
3 Likes
Put on birth certificate give baby your surname
I’d put on birth certificate, because likes others have said, a DNA test is all it takes and they will amend the birth certificate. Give the child your last name. If you guys end up getting married, then you can change. I gave my daughter her fathers last name and he isn’t involved in her life except a phone call or visit once a year. I filed to have her name changed and he tried to fight it, but lack of involvement in her life, the judge ruled in my favor… after a couple thousand dollars for an attorney. My second child has my last name from birth. Also, in Ohio, an unwed mother has sole custody. Unless he took you to court for custody, he cannot leave the state with the baby.
1 Like
If I were raising the child alone, it wouldn’t matter if he signed or not, the last name would be mine. It’s easier in school situations & Dr’s offices if your names match with you. If you are with him,it doesn’t have to be yours. I don’t know where you live, but I don’t think he could leave the state with the child if you are the custodial parent. Also, I would get a custody agreement ( S well as child support right away) you haven’t really given enough relationship info. Are you with him? Is he there for you during the pregnancy?..
First, educate yourself on birth control now while you have time. Second, you can give the baby your nane; you cannot decide he is not the father if he is.
3 Likes
Your mom needs to mind her business
1 Like
He is the father way not do you want it to say father unknown on the birth certificate. And this will really not stop anything in the future he would just go family court and have rights
If your guts telling you no, don’t do it. I put him on my sons and I severely regret it as he has had 0% to do with my son. Luckily I stood my ground (as we were never in a relationship) and my son has my last name. I did let him choose the middle name and he decided to use his own name. So that’s stuck with us now I guess lol. But yeah follow your gut, I wish I had of.
1 Like
Put you last name as a middle name then use ur bf name as last name…child will know the family he is connected too
Whew! This is A LOT to unpack
1 Like
He has parental rights same as you, regardless of your fake perceived control over a piece of paper.
2 Likes
If he is a good father and good person then he has the right to be on his child’s birth certificate. My sons biological father is not on his birth certificate but he also dumped me when I was pregnant and has never met or asked about my son.
Why it’s your mum getting an opinion? Not her baby
I hate my kids dad but she still has his last name lol.
It’s your child right to know who his birth father is and to have the father acknowledge them .
You need to talk to a lawyer.you seem to have a lot of mis information.
You can always add it later.
2 Likes
Really depends on your state. My oldest child i did not put father on birth cert because he was a POS and in florida name on birth cert meant he had rights. No name… no rights. My youngest child is with my husband. We had him before we were married and in georgia even though his father is on birth cert he had no legal rights because we weren’t married. Find out your states laws and then decide.
Go through the court to establish custody and paternity. Add him to the birth certificate at that time. Set up supervised visitations if you think he is a flight risk.
The father is just as much the parent as the mother …….
8 Likes
Is he a danger to the child? If not put him on the friggen birth certificate. Fathers are not second class and how the father feels about you has nothing to do with his right as a parent. It takes 2 to tango. Also your mom needs to mind her own business.
4 Likes
You have to make your own Decisions don’t let know one else decide for you
Since you’re hesitant don’t do it. I regret my kids father’s name on their BCs & them having his name. Their name is a constant reminder that he doesn’t want them. They want to match their family. Don’t do it. If he wants to be on the BC he will put in the effort to go through the courts to have it done. You’re doing enough work. Make him do some & show that he’ll stick around.
It’s MUCH easier to add him to it than remove him from it, just sayin. In Illinois, just because the father is on the birth certificate does not grant parental rights if the two of you aren’t or have never been married, it’s just an acknowledgment of the father that he is aware the child is there. You still have to go through court for him to get any visitation or rights if you aren’t married and never were married to the father of the baby. However, to have him removed from the birth certificate, even with no rights on his end, is much more detailed process. It just depends on your state honestly. If you’re unsure, go with your gut instinct.
Dont … u will need permission from the father to travel get a passport leave the province if u guys break up then custody
1 Like
Give your child your last name…put the father on the birth certificate. You mother has reasons to be concerned just as mine was, so I understand… in the end it’s your decision.
1 Like
I feel so guilty he is having a child with someone who actually feels they can contemplate this
9 Likes
In that situation, only you and the father of the child should intervene, no one else should have an opinion, it is up to both of you, you should not decide it alone because that child did it both, you did not get pregnant alone.
1 Like
Your mom is right. Give your child your last name. It’ll be living in your home, you’ll be doing most of the care. It should have that sense of belonging. Leave his name off the BC as well. If he wants to be involved he’ll go the extra mile to get it amended.
I’m not sure that means they can up and leave. I think it just means u cant. Neither of my sons have their dad on the birth certificate mostly cus I went thru pregnancy alone but I can’t lie it makes everything much easier. Plus they have my last name 
In this day and age if I were having a child and I was not married, I would give it my own last name. You can always change it later.
Even if you don’t all he has to do is file with the courts for a dna test and he will be listed anyway. Not being rude, just speaking from experience. My fiancé’s sons mom didn’t put him on the birth certificate and all we had to file was 1 paper with our local courthouse and the dna was ordered and it was free for us to file. I would save yourself the hassle and let him sign it
It’s really none of your mom’s business.
1 Like
I wish my mom had given me her last name. My dad was nowhere after child support was over with, and his last name is just a constant reminder.
3 Likes
Rights don’t change because of the name on the birth certificate. A DNA test will confwho is the child’s father anyway.
2 Likes
You do not have to give your child his last name. You can give the child yours or any for that matter.
Why not give the baby your last name and when you two get married , baby gets daddy’s last name .
1 Like
It’s none of your mothers business.
The father has a right to be on the babies birth certificate unless he has already told you he will not be involved or if he is a potential danger to your child.
That baby has two parents, and you are still together so I don’t get it.
You can still give baby your name regardless.
4 Likes
No one wants to talk about you having a baby by someone you are unsure of, just whether or not he should go on the birth certificate, even though he’s given you no reason to doubt him?
3 Likes
This is a bunch of crap, the father has EVERY right to have his name on that birth certificate, he’s also responsible for that child also! There’s dead beat mothers out there too!! By not giving this child their father’s last name, it’s just a cover up so you aren’t constantly reminded that maybe YOU made a bad decision! That’s the problem with society today, everyone wants to cut the fathers out of the children’s lives, then bitch about how screwed up the kids are when they grow up… if you’re woman enough to spread your legs for some guy, then pull those panties up and let him be the father too!
I told my girls they shouldn’t if they aren’t married to the dad because a) you can add it later 2) the child’s name should match yours. Your child , your name… her son never met his dad so why should he have his name?
There are reasons why they should have dads name. if dad dies then the child can’t get his ss. This happened to my other daughters kid. Never met dad, dad died when she was 8 and there’s no proof she’s his so no ss.
If you have kids with differant dads it’s kind of awkward to explain .
My kids dads not on birth certificates for very reason your mums worried. You can always give child his last name without him been on certificate
It amazes me when i see mothers act like a father does not have the same rights as her.This child is both of yours not just yours.who do you honesty think you are by not allowing him to sign the birth certificate.If i were him id make sure my name was on it but id be done with you.
6 Likes
Listen to your mother I did when it came to this situation and trust me I thank God I listened to her.
… you don’t have to give him his last name but damn right if you know who your child’s father is he should be on that certificate, how is this even a debate!?! That is the childs father and you’ve given no reason as to why he shouldn’t be in the childs life and on paper, is he dangerous or something? If not you’re just being manipulative, fathers deserve every chance a mother has until they prove otherwise!
A child needs to know who his father is …
2 Likes
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mom doesn't think my childs father should sign the birth certificate: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
he’s the father. Your the mother. Both of you have rights. Your family sounds horrible.
11 Likes
Just because they’re on the birth certificate doesn’t mean they have rights. Especially if you two aren’t married. I’m not sure where you live, but in TN, they still have to go ask for their rights, if they want them, through the courts.
2 Likes
None of my children’s fathers are on the birth certificate because I didn’t want them to be, it’s your decision fully!
4 Likes
You should have been responsible enough to not get pregnant by someone you feel you don’t know well enough to put on the birth certificate of THEIR child. If there’s no safety etc reasons then I’d say you’re being unreasonable
6 Likes
I mean it depends on your state.
Mine you don’t have to be on birth certificate but it’s a civil matter if the dad takes the kid & doesn’t come back. So Police still cannot do anything.
It’s whatever you wanna do. they can still get parental rights without them signing it.
You can always put yours and his
I mean if it’s his kid then yeah. He should have rights to his child. I don’t think he can just take off with ur kid…
1 Like
Why not just go with both? I wish I would of did that. One of my biggest regrets.
1 Like
The child has a father. He has rights too. Your mother is wrong.
8 Likes
Idk…i wasn’t married…so my kids have my last name. And honestly…i have no regrets… Cuz at the end of the day…theres more to being a father than just sharing the same DNA…if u get my drift…
2 Likes
I would let him sign but get a custody agreement that you have full custody and he can’t leave the state with the baby
3 Likes
🤦🤦🤦 You can’t stop him from being put on the BC. All he has to do is take you to court.
3 Likes
Either way he’s the father he has rights. If you add him or not you cannot keep him away from his kid. Your adult issues has nothing to do with the baby. You have no power to make descions you have no control of.
3 Likes
First off, him not signing the birth certificate doesn’t strip him of parental rights. Second, I’d suggest using both of your last names if he’s insistent on his last name being included. Third, if he’s the father there’s no reason not to list him as such. This may actually hell you in the future if you need to ever get child support from him.
2 Likes