Why because you are the mother do you feel you should have more rights than the father? You both created the child together and he should be given the exact same opportunity to be in the childs life as you. If you aren’t comfortable adding him to the birth certificate then you should have used preventative measures to avoid the situation all together. Children need both parents!
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Being the mother doesn’t automatically give you primary custody.
If your concern is that the father will take the child and not return then you need to go to court and get primary physical custody.
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I don’t understand women who don’t list the dad on the BC. I’d list him and develop a co parenting agreement.
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Wow.
This is not your decision.
Fathers have rights too if they want to be in their kids lives.
I really do feel for all the real dads out there trying they damn hardest to be involved in their kids lives, going through heartache and courts and stress and trauma of not seeing their children because of ‘mothers’ who think they have the right to stop them being in their kids life.
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Every state is different on how parental custody is determined. In Missouri and Kansas Kansas paternity has to be established through DNA if you are not married or if the father isnt on the certificate. So here he wouldn’t have any type of custody and could get in trouble for just taking off with them. In regards to having the fathers last name I determined my decision on the actions he should of whether he deserved for our child to carry his last name. Him drinking in the delivery room bathroom while I was labor lead me to give my son my last name.
We got pregnant with our first 2 and half months into dating. My sister assumed he was going to have my last name because of us not having been together long. But here we are a few months shy of 5 years with an almost 4 year old and a 2 month old. Do what you want. People seem to think they need to have an opinion about everything.
So put the father on the birth certificate as he should be but once the baby is born you file for custody just to have it set in stone. You both are the parents regardless just because you’re the mother doesn’t mean you have more rights either way.
He should sign, but you DO NOT have to give your kid his name if you aren’t married.
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List the fathers name cause you never know that down the road you may need to get custody and or get child support.
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Honestly that is a decision for you and the father to make, not anyone else. Have a discussion with him. You can go in and file for custody even 50/50 together at your local courthouse. There are legal ways to keep your kid from being taken out of state.
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I don’t understand if you know he is the father why wouldn’t u give the baby either his last name or your last name and his? It took 2 to have that baby and the baby is going to have a lot of questions and maybe not have the best relationship with you if u don’t. I’m saying because I know someone that didn’t give her daughter her dads last name and they don’t talk at all. In my eyes u don’t give the child the fathers last name? Is it really his kid? It’s going to cost u more later for DNA testing and last name changes. Now if the dad is a dead beat and not in your life or wanting nothing to do with the child then by all means don’t put his last name.
It takes 2 to tango. He should be allowed both .
If he actually WANTS to be in HIS child’s life, you have no right to tell him not to. There’s enough deadbeat dads out there as it is, why make it harder for the ones who actually wanna be involved? That’s his decision to make, not yours.
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This child has one father for a lifetime till its gone
Unless your married put the baby in your name
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Yes, he belongs on the birth certificate if he is the child’s father. No, you don’t have to give the child his last name, even if he is on the bc.
As far as him taking the child from you, you can get a custody order in place immediately.
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He can still be aoart of his or her life
If he’s going to be in his child’s life a d support his child/ yes !! Otherwise no.
Are you still with him? Is he a bad person? I’m not sure if I understand. I had a hard time getting sole custody of my child (he was MIA and couldn’t be served). It would have been much easier if he wasn’t listed on the BC, because he would have never bothered to prove paternity. I had to get a protective order against him though, so naturally a co-parenting plan wasn’t in the books for me. If he’s a good person then I’m not sure why you wouldn’t want him on the BC even if you guys don’t make it in a relationship. My son has his last name, but that’s because we were married when he was born. I kept my married name to match my son after the divorce.
My mom didn’t list mine bc honestly she didn’t know 
so I want to share perspective of an adult who grew up with none listed…
I’m almost 40 and it’s still f***ing humiliating to have to show my birth certificate. It says “legally unknown”. Don’t do that to your child.
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Thays sad my sons wife refused to put my son on the birth certificate and refused to give my grandsons my son last name all because she she listened to her friends not because because my son was a bad person. Two years later we are still waiting for it to be corrected and my son has custody since he was a month old. My son was denied his rights and my grandson was also denied his right to bear his dads name.
I got pregnant with my younger son just after 3 months with his dad (now my husband) my older son was from a previous relationship, his father unexpectedly passed away in February and my oldest will be receiving benefits until he’s 18. Both sons have their dad’s last name and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Listen to your gut not your mom. Not her baby
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Go to court now before the baby is born to establish a custody agreement that way he can’t as you said steal your baby and leave state and if your worrying about stuff like this while pregnant maybe with your next boyfriend wear a rubber before making babies with people you don’t know it’s not fair to the baby or the guy you are judging to be capable of doing such stuff ughhh
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Make a parenting plan before the birth. Let your baby have a Daddy on her birth certificate. You are making a judgment about the type of Dad he will be before he ever gets a chance.
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I would think it’s easier to get child support if the baby has his last name, but I could be wrong. Times have changed since 30 years ago when I had my son.
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Well first of all depending on what state you live in if y’all aren’t married rights are automatically the mothers regardless if the father is listed on the birth certificate or not, that’s how it is in my state, I would look up your state’s policies and if that’s the case then putting him on the birth certificate shouldn’t be an issue if you’re comfortable with it
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My first daughter has just my last name her dad was never in the picture and my next 2 has my and my husband last name and we having another in November and it will be the same this baby with had other last names
Give it to pave your last name but she has the right to know who her father is put him on that birth certificate you should’ve thought of that before you got pregnant your mom needs to butt out and you need to do the right thing
You could just put your last name I had both my fathers and my mothers last name as my last name
I don’t agree that the child has to take his last name, he should be on the birth certificate though.
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That’s HIS child. Period. Not just yours, and certainly ain’t your mama’s! He/she doesn’t have to have his last name, but that’s his baby too.
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Giving your child their fathers last name is something for the child, it will be his personality! This doesn’t mean he can run off with him as long as you file for custody! Many men don’t want to take responsibility with their kids but some men do! Why not let the universe do its job and let your child have one more person cheering for him! He will grow happy with both his parents! Do you have your moms and dad last name? Would it had made a difference not to have had it! Many kids also end up falling in love with siblings! Just saying a last name may save your child years of questions!
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Your child’s birth certificate is their’s. Yes, you should put their father’s name on it. The last name part can be yours or his, or you can put both and “-” it.
My brother’s daughter’s mom did the no name on birth certificate and gave their baby her last name. My brother fought for rights, his name on the B.C, and she now has his last name, all of which was court ordered.
If you’re together now and you don’t let him, you won’t be together long. I get the fear, but that is not ok. It’s his baby too, and if he wants to be a father he has rights. The last name should be decided between you. And if you’re concerned about rights should you break up, having the child’s last name doesn’t mean they automatically receive custody or can kid nap them.
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You could combine the last names maybe as a compromise? Regardless I think he should be on the birth certificate tho since it is his child too. Your mom shouldn’t have a say in this.
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From experience I would have my name if I wasn’t married. I learned with my 1st kid. You can still have him on certificate but baby can have your last name. If you guys are still together down the road and want to change it to the Dads it will be way easier than you trying to change it to yours if your kid ever asked.
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Hyphenate the last name if you want, that’s what I did.
If your not married baby should have your last name thats my opinion
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My last grand does not have her s.d. last name nor is his name on b.c. he put hisself on cs . Hes a sometimer whenever he has the urge to see her. She is almost 4.
Shit the baby ain’t even born yet and your mother of all people is already using it as a pawn
Baby doesnt have to have his last name but he should be on the birth certificate.
You did NOT make that baby on your own.
Dont be selfish
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Honestly, I truly regret putting my kid’s dads name on there. If I could redo it. I wouldn’t. I should have listened to my Mom! If you are married and all that then ya put his name. His last name ya…. Although I regret that also but that’s just me and my situation.
My boyfriend and I were dating a week before we got pregnant (yes, aware of birth control)
It took us by surprise and he is on my sons Birth certificate and has his last name. I don’t hold anything against him. It’s basically your choice
My daughters dad chose not to be on the birth certificate. Granted we had alot of issues thru the pregnancy. He proved that he wasn’t deserving for her to have his last name. If he wants to be on the birth certificate let him. Be smart and do a custody agreement if anything happens. It will save you the headache. But if use are together and he is good to you ext. Then let him have them rights for being a father!! My daughter has my last name and hes not on the b.c but he has stepped up and is great with our child. He regrets not siging it.
Nope. If you are not married I’d give him/her your last name, if y’all stay together that can easily be changed down the road. If he wants to be on the birth certificate it’s up to you but he can petition the court to have that changed.
My sons dad wouldn’t come sign the BC and I still hyphenated his last name 
he can still take you to court to get his name on the birth certificate so it’s not gonna matter either way truthfully
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She has right to know who her dad is so let him be on b c but you can give her any last name when she is born that’s up to you
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Your mom sounds like B! Do you get any kind of state assistance? If so then they’ll make you put dad on the BC anyway bc they’ll go after him for CS. That baby has a right to know who her father is and the father has right to have a relationship with the child! If your worried about him running off with baby then get a custody order established. You don’t need an atty to do so as long as you both agree to it.
Even if dad is on the birth certificate, if you’re not or have a court agreement, if he was to up and leave with the child it would be kidnapping.
This was told to me by a police officer.
Your mom needs to educate herself because if you are not married giving the last name would not give him the right to take the child out of state or at all and if you guys are happy and on good terms there is no reason the baby shouldn’t have his last name. Having the last name gives the father rights to see the child but if you refused he would still have to take it to court. Married, not married doesn’t matter. Unless one parent has 100% full custody they can not take a child and leave like that. My mom didn’t want me to give my son his fathers last name because it is a Mexican last name. I make my own decisions not my mother. His father and I have been together 2 years and on good terms so why would I refuse to give our son his last name?
The right move is to put him on the birth certificate. You don’t have to give the baby his name but he should be on the birth certificate. Think of your baby and how it might affect him/her to see the spot of father’s name as “unknown”. You would essentially be nullifying half of your child. What explanation would you give? Oh grandma said not to because of baby daddy number 1? Plus the father can take you to court to get his name added. Why waste the time and money when you can simply just do it to begin with. You didn’t make the child alone. Your child deserves to know where they come from.
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You don’t have to give your child his name, but your child has the right to know who their father is and for it to be recognised. For their sake, at least put his name on the certificate. But use your own last name for your child
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Your Mother wasn’t there when the baby was created…stop giving her the right to demand anything. This child has a father…put him on the birth certificate. It’s wrong on so many levels not to allow the child and the father to be the only ones who count. She will want to know who her father is (I hope he is always in her life and that’s not an issue) but if he isn’t he should be held responsible.
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Love most of the comments on here saying put him on there for cs in the future only thinking about a paycheck
My daughter has her dads last name and he’s on the birth certificate we were together 5 years before we broke up I never regretted the choice BC I honestly hate my last name so it makes her life easier
Don’t listen to your Mum she is full of shit
No name on birth certificate. He can fight you for custody. Then give the baby up for adoption there are some rats in this world. .if you meet a secure guy and get married you can give the baby his last name.he won’t have to support the child unless he adopts the child
Child support is the only reason I can think of 2 put a childs father on the certificate if u arnt married. Otherwise it becomes a big deal depending on ur state’s laws. My dads not on mine I got moms maiden name but he had 2 pay child support and i still got 2 be with him until he passed away. Furthermore last names can be changed or if u feel it’s really going 2 bother u hyphenate it. I dont really see where it’s any of grandma’s business the legal choices u make with ur kids unless shes taking care of them
Name or no name… He’s the dad. And has rights. But so do you, huge rights. All this stupidity & games… STOP HAVING BABIES WITH MEN YOU CAN’T OR DON’T TRUST 
. WTF?! Stupidest advice request, maybe close your legs, wait for a guy you marry, one you stay with & trust. No you don’t have to be married to have kids, but y’all take who you shouldn’t have kids with to a whole new level… Give your kid his name, it’s his child too. Y’all don’t stay together then work to give the child both of you, even as separate parents. If he doesn’t stick around for it, his loss. But, the thought process… Just seems like why TF you letting them impregnate you. And I love the I was with baby daddy #1 so long… 5 yrs🤣, didn’t have to worry about it, but he told you he was only nice to sign BC. I’d seriously be worried about the type of men you be hopping on🤦🏽♀️
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Put him on the birth certificate but give baby your last name
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Your baby deserves their father’s name on their birth certificate…it does not mean the baby has to carry his last name It does give your daughter legal rights having him on The certificate…for one, child support, rights to inherit from parents and grandparents…and for no other reason, the man is her father who she has a right to know and vice versa. Not being named does a hell of a job on their psych long into adulthood. Your baby is none of your mother’s business, quite frankly…do what’s best for your baby.
Yes if he dies the kids get SSI…
If you guys are on good terms … Put him on the birth certificate. It doesn’t give him permission to kidnap the baby
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Your first step is to keep decisions out of your parents hands. It not your mom’s child, it’s your and his…
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What do you think??? Not what your mom thinks.
Think about what your child will feel when he or she grows up and there is no father on the birth certificate. Also when other people come across the birth certificate and see no Father. There’s a certain stigma attached to that that is not fair to your child. I do not recommend it. Also try not to get pregnant if you are not in a loving relationship. Additionally , do not allow your mother to dictate such decisions, you are grown woman, take charge!
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This is stupid! Thats the dad right???
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We he’s the the father. And if he wants his baby to have his name why not ? I hope he will be a part in your babies life? God bless.
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I would put the name but the last name thing is whatever. I would put the dads name so your child will know who his father is. My mother did not and then disappeared and now I know little to nothing about my heritage and often wondered and wished I had anything more to go on. I think its important to know where are from
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Check your state laws on child support. In some states if the fathers name isnt on the birth certificate and you end up not together and you go to get child support he can deny the child is his. If that happens the courts will make you get a paternity test, once paternity is determined you get a child support award.
If your considered a couple and not married but common law. Why wouldn’t you put his last name?
And you don’t need to put his last name if you have to collect child support. You will need his SS# for that…
I think the father has that right. Why do mothers need to have all the say so with the child? He has the right for the baby to have his last name and be on the birth certificate. You’re mom shouldn’t even have a say in this. It’s not her child.
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Unless you’re not safe in the relationship, you can always list him but give the baby your name
He’s the father. He has a right to be on it. Doesn’t mean you have to give baby his last name
I just don’t understand why women do this. If there is an actual threat to the child’s safety or well being, then okay. I can understand it being something needing contemplation. But, if it’s just for whatever crazy reason you feel like, why do you think you can just not put your child’s father on the most important document in regards to their identity? Why do so many women think this is some sort of an option because of how they feel or how their parents, friends, new boyfriend, etc feel and whoever or whatever else they wanna drag into it? The ONLY one that should matter in regards to this decision is the child and if it will factually (not made up pety shit floating around in your head) harm them in some way. If not, put the damn man’s name on that piece of paper!!! Smdh.
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I say if he wants to sign the birth certificate he should unless there is some kind of abuse or putting someone in danger
Men don’t have to sign anything, he can still take you to court to do a legal petition. My Husband never signed my kids anything.
Legal birth name has nothing to do with custody rights 
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Think about it from your child’s point of view - it’s fine when they are young but as they grow they ask questions and want to know where they’re from. It’s a child’s right to who their birth father is and their choice to choose to have them in their life or not.
Last names are different that’s a personal choice but putting him on the certificate is not
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A child is ENTITLED to its father’s last name. It has nothing to do with custody, visitation, etc., and makes it easier to receive child support, etc.
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Why keep having babies
Please PM me, I can give you lots of advice. Moral of the story, you need to know the laws of your state
Research the laws in your state. If he is not on the BC then he doesn’t have to help you with the child support or anything. And if you guys split, he could take you to court for a paternity test, if you try and go after him for said child support. And if you guys share custody, and don’t have a parenting plan in place… There is a 50/50 chance that the court could give him custody if his paternity is established. I’d play nice, and put him on the BC. It’ll save you a lot of headache in the long run.
I find it weird that your questioning this like you really don’t know him, only a year. And yet you knew him enough to make a baby. A baby! Anyway, its your choice.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mom doesn't think my childs father should sign the birth certificate: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
If you don’t you will have issues getting child support.
Let him sign it, that’s your baby dad nothing will ever change that fact.We all have those decisions to make whether his in the child’s life or not.Pray over it only you can make the right decision.
The rules on paternal rights differ from state to state. If you decide to go for child support, the courts will have the acknowledgement of paternity form signed there so not doing it at the hospital doesn’t make a difference.
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Listen to your mama. She is the one looking out for you!
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I would respect what the father wants. It shouldn’t be an option if the father is in the picture.
Absolutely sign to document that he has acknowledged paternity . This is important for Social Security benefits as well as other programs
I’m pretty sure one parent crossing state lines without informing the other parent is considered kidnapping.
I put my child’s father on the birth certificate knowing he wouldn’t be around long. To me, it was more for her. That’s her father and she knows that. We don’t have the same names because I was never married to her dad.
Read up on state statutes if you’re that concerned about it. But it sounds like you’re mom is the one who is worried, not you.
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Well I can tell you my daughter regrets it and I told her the same he’s now five and is asking why he doesn’t have our last name
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If you’re not married to the father … you should NEVER give your child, the man’s last name!
But if you are 100% SURE that the child belongs to that man … meaning; you ONLY had sex with him within the last TWELVE (12) MONTHS … and there is ZERO way possible that anyone else could be the father …
Then have him sign as the father.
But do NOT give your child his last name.
*UNLESS; you have;
-
Unlimited money
for an Excellent Attorney AND court proceedings. -
An understanding job, who will tolerate time spent in & out of court.
And time away, dealing with Family Court!
*Just because it worked out with ONE 
man in the past, does NOT mean that it will work with this man, his family, new wife, or future wife. BELIEVE me.
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None of her business. Wasn’t there when the 2 of you made the baby
Yes she should have his name
WHAT DO YOU WANT ?! You would not ask the question if you would t have any concerns in the first place ! If those worries weight out the benefit , choose that way you feel most comfortable with !
I done both kids with fathers on bc, one with last name one without ( two
Kids two different dads ) however , with my first I was just lucky , as 22 days later law changed . So I was allowed to travel the world with him without permission of the father . ( would he born just three weeks later , I would have been stuck ) Second child has also name of father . Gosh what for a hassle at the airports , how
Many times had I to explain , show documents , do
Phone calls , had a lawyer written
Letter … however , been together with him ten years and dated him four years before baby came , so I knew he would and still is always supporting my travel bug … but there is my friend , who got a baby from someone she didn’t know well
Enough , … end of story , he is in the BC , caused a mega drama with court etc , she had to move cities to
Find kind of freedom and peace. She is not allowed to
Leave the country ( New Zealand - which is her second home ) she is not allowed to see her family overseas( child will never meet any family until he is
Old Enough ) , and she has all the burden of paying everything herself anyway . She gets no support , and is bounded . I warned her as you mom did . I said also not to
Put him on baby’s BC. I explained her all my concerns . Now she regrets and lives with those consequences. So, Doesn’t matter how you do it , there will be always people who support your decision and people who won’t agree . DO WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN YOUR HEART IS BEST AND SAFEST for the both of you . Xxx I wish you and your family all the best for
The future .
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Best is your last name, you never have to change it unless you find someone who wants to step in them shoes.
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What state are you in because i live in illinois and its a motherly state. I regret having my first daughter’s farher sign the birth certificate because one he never wanted her and wanted me to abort her he walked out of her life last year and filing for TANIF. I let my second daughters father sign the birth certificate because he was there for me and my first born even though he is not her father. In my opinion its up to the mother to decide not your mom shes not in your shoes. If your scared hes going to leave state with your child sit down and talk to him about your fears and see what happens from there communication is the key to any relationship.
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It’s always easiest if you and your child have the same last name.