My mom feels I am spoiling my child: Advice?

He goes to daycare 5 days a week, 10 hours a day so on the weekends, we make it all about him. He gets to choose 1 fun thing to do regardless of what needs to be done around the house or errands that need to be done. We work it around him. He usually chooses park, zoo (we have a membership so unlimited entry), swimming or play center. The way I see it, everything else can wait he deserves his mummy and daddy time, make decisions and have fun. But she sees it as we’re letting him dictate our lives… he is no way a brat about it, he knows he has to be good at school all week with no biting or fighting other kids and that he has to help mummy clean up his toys every night before bed otherwise we dont go.


I would say parent your child how you want :+1::blush:


Your not spoiling him at all!!! I would say you might be if he was getting rewarded no matter how he behaved but thats normal kids stuff to go to the park, zoo ect… its not like your taking him to Disneyland every weekend… you raise your kid how you see fit!


You’re an amazing momma!


Growing up we always had a fun family day on a Sunday mostly and I loved it. If we got good grades or did something special we got to pick.

As long as he’s being told and learning responsibilities then that’s all that matters


I would gently explain your reasoning behind what you’re doing. I went through a similar situation with my son and my mother and I made it very clear to her that I would parent him the best way I saw fit because he is my child and not hers. Draw a boundary line and do not let anyone cross it, even though it will be hard


YOU DO YOU!!! Sounds like u want to make up for all the time he isnt with you, and whats wrong with that?? He sounds like a lucky little boy to have great parents!


That’s not spoiling him …id do the same


Who cares what she thinks. He is your child. Do what is best for you and your baby.

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They are only young once… good job making them feel important to you. That’s how it should be :blush:


I see both sides honestly. I don’t think you are spoiling him. But you need to make time for other things as well.

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Nope. Your making memories. It isnt like its toys your buying.


I do the same thing kids deserve much and dad time

The one thing I’ve learned about people in this group is y’all worry entirely too much about other people’s opinions.


I think it’s great! :woman_shrugging: I’d tell my mom time isn’t being spoiled

Dude you’re doing awesome. I wish my parents had done that stuff with me. I’ve always tried to do mommy and me stuff or my husband will take her out and do something with her before covid. You’re not spoiling you son.

You are being a great parent

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HE. IS. YOUR. CHILD. Please just love him your way and don’t even worry about the rest. People especially family, are gonna talk regardless of what you do. You may as well live your life how you want.


I think what you are doing is perfectly normal. It is important to put family time first.

Awesome parenting! Keep it up you are going to raise a happy, healthy, very secure young man!

Maybe add a couple mom son date nights, where he gets you flowers, opens the car door & learns to be a gentleman, I’m sure he would love that too!

Bravo Mama! Way to raise a real man!

That’s not spoiling him it’s amazing you can do that with him!

We do the same thing we have 3 kids 1 grown 1 teenager and 1 that’s 7. My husband and I own our company and work all week. The kids are in school. Since the week days are very busy we make it a point to do family things on the weekends. Camping, fishing, zoo, swimming, whatever it might be. We have fun

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Don’t let other people tell you how to parent your child. Simple.

Think that is wise parenting. The child didn’t ask to be raised in a daycare. He needs
To know that his mommy and daddy puts him first.

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:sparkling_heart:Love it! That sounds amazing. That’s not spoiling at all especially when you are teaching him he had to earn it with his behavior. He will remember the fun y’all had and the memories over you working when you give him family time. :sparkling_heart:

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It’s your child. Not your mothers. I think what you’re doing is great!! For some reason grandmothers think they have a say so in how we raise our children. Thank her for her opinion but let her know it is not needed. You’re his mother and you’re the one raising him. That’s a lot of time to be spent in day care and I’m sure he loves doing fun things with his mommy and daddy. You’re doing great!

If you all like doing that then sure. Im wondering why she’s even mentioned it. Maybe you are always too busy for family outside of your own small family and she is saying it this way. Idk.

Who cares what your mom says you are the mom now and you do How you see fit.long as your child is loved and cared for its all matters

You sound like very good parents!


Your family.
Your business.

Your not spoiling your child by spending quality time with him. Im a stay at home mom and my husband works long hours. I try to get him to spend as much time as he can with our kids on the weekends. Idk why your mom would even make such a comment.

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hes only young once. enjoy the time you have while you have it! spending time and enjoying time with your child is not spoiling.

Your kid your choice

You’re doing a great job, don’t worry too much about any one else’s opinions.

Your spending time with your baby as a family, making memories and having fun, house chores will always be there, these precious years go by so quickly so enjoy every minute that you can

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He’s your child. You decide how to raise him.

Sounds like she needs to MIND HER OWN DAMN BUSINESS!

Tell her to butt out, not her business!

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We often do this too…we work so much that I make it a point that our son gets our undivided attention. And we have quality family time. It’s too bad you’re not getting supported. Life is too short to live by someone else’s rules. She had her turn to raise a family and do it her way. Now its you and your husband’s turn. Sounds like an awesome little family you got there if you ask me!

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Keep it up mama! Its important that kids get our time. Tell your mom to go kick rocks.

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You sound like a good mom. Just ignore the crap. Keep doing what your doing for your son.

Sounds like your mom should mind her business.

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You are doing the right thing. Your mother probably didn’t work outside the home like you do so she doesn’t understand the long hours you are away from him. It’s your decision anyway not hers.


Keep it up mama! You’re doing great :heart:

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I would say…way 2 go mom and dad. Life is a bitch! U need to set that fam. Time aside, just like u need 2 set aside that “me” time, adult time, girl time, etc…
.balance is key :key:

Your child so she needs to shut her trap.nothing wrong with you deciding your own child’s life.

I am 85 years old tell your mother stop being a crab. She is jealous that she didn’t do something like that with you. you are right you all need the memories


It’s your ship, not hers.

They are only little once! You can’t go back and get time with them later.

Those times are what treasured memories are made … keep doing what you’re doing :two_hearts:

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Sounds like the perfect arrangement!!!

He is your child. How you raise him is up to you. Sounds like you are doing a great job.

LOL. This is not spoiling your child. :woman_facepalming:t2: This is giving your child memorable moments that he will cherish forever. Allowing a child to have fun is part of parenting. Life isn’t always strict routines. You do what you think is best for your child and screw everyone else’s opinions! :blush:
I think this is a fantastic thing to do. Our kiddos miss us terribly when we’re at work all the time and having them look forward to that family thing you do AND they get choose seems like a pretty reasonable thing :woman_shrugging:

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I love this idea and as both I and my partner work, I hope when my daughter is old enough I will be able to maintain doing something like this for her. As long as you make them understand respect for others and responsibility, I don’t feel that they will be spoiled. But I only have a young one so idk.

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I dont see any problem with what u are doing at all,quality time with mom and dad is very important,hes very fortunate to have this opportunity with both parents…if someone dont like it tell them to move on

I think your kids plan sounds amazing. There are guidelines set in place. And yes they are only little once. (I need my own advice here) :blush:

Nope. Doing great for your boy :slight_smile:

You’re doing a great job!

Absolutely not spoiling him at all. He is lucky to have you as his mom.

I can understand your mom to a point. I had a friend that done the same thing now her son is 16 and he still tells them what they are doing on the weekends. The mom and dad can’t do nothing they want because he makes the plans. They have no Adult life because of that kid so just watch what your doing because she always told everyone he not spoiled and look at him now at 16 yes he was spoiled and now he’s a spoiled brat straight up brat. She regrets it now.

She needs to shut it

I work 2nd shift and on one of my nights off we do a “date” night just me and my boys… We have done this since they were little… I love the fact that they are 15 and 17 and still want to do this with me… My boys aren’t spoiled at all… I say keep it up!!

Always follow your heart! :heartbeat::heartbeat:
Good job momma!! :blush::heartpulse:

I can understand having one day out of the weekend to spend as a family but not two. Sorry but I think your mum is right

Today is a completely different time than when your mom patented you. Children need that mom and dad time. You are definitely not “spoiling” your child. Keep doing what your doing and tell mom to respectfully mind her business.

You are doing everything right. Your mother is of the Dr. Spock generation. As a 76 year old grandmother I say you are right. When they grow up you will be too glad you did what you are doing now.

Your doing right its about time to be family

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What’s more important? Your son remembering spending happy times w mom & dad, or that during the weekend his house was clean and mom & dad made sure the errands were completed, the bills were paid etc… ? As long as he still has responsibilities to earn his day out having reasonable fun, no need to worry about what mom says!

Sounds like you’re a greatmom, if more mothers spent half that time with their kids, America wouldn’t have the brat, problem we fo. KEEP UP THE GOODJOB

I’d say you’re making your child your priority & more parents need to follow your lead :heart:

I work full time and feel like I never see my kids. When I get home it’s eat, bath, and bed. So I always try to plan thing to get us out of the house and enjoy time together. I also try to take my oldest out for mommy daughter time since her younger sisters get a lot of the attention and are not able to do things for them selves. It’s not dictated at all, it’s love and making memories with your kids and both you and him enjoying his childhood before it’s to late.

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Someone will always have an opinion, little comments, little jabs at your parenting.
Don’t let it get to you.
Family can be extremely harsh lord do I know that.
I choose to not allow it to get to me and I just continue on my own parenting path because my children are being brought up with what I believe is best for them.
I just say well lucky they aren’t your kids or home then… it usually shuts them up :rofl:

Keep spending time with him.

No it is wonderful you are spending time with your son on the weekends!

My personal opinion: your kid, your rules. Don’t let anyone dictate your relationship with YOUR child.


I do the exact same thing with my daughter same stipulations. My mom encourages it and has never and will never tell me how to raise her. Tell her to but out!!! Keep doing what you feel is best which is spending time with that sweet boy they’re only young for so long.

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It is your child, your choice. You don’t need ANYONE to give you approval on how you raise YOUR baby as long as you and his father agree that is the only thing that matters.

Don’t worry about the dishes in the sink! Life is to short and they grow up way too fast. Enjoy your kid or kids! And family time is everything!


Sounds like you’re doing great to me!

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Just keep doing what you feel is right as a parent. I totally understand why you would want to make the weekends special for him. I’m sure that’s something he will cherish forever. I would just let it go in one ear and out the other. Sometimes moms do have great advice and sometimes they overstep their boundaries, it’s a mom thing lol In the end hes your child and if you wanna make memories with him in whatever you choose to do , then do it :slight_smile:

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I’m a Mimi & I see nothing wrong with what you’re doing. Keep up the good work. He’s only little once👍

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Everyone has their different views and ways of doing things. You do what you feel is right as a parent. There is nothing wrong with how you’re spending your time together.

That isn’t your mother’s child. But your child. Don’t let anyone tell you how to parent. Parent how you see fit. And how works for you and your family. Not anyone else’s.


Enjoy the days you have with him, they grow up fast, she needs to but out

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I dont think your spoiling him. I full get it. Mini is in daycare all week so saturdays are all about her and sundays are clean up day and once thats all done we spend the rest of the day together. I personally dont see anything wrong with it. May be bissed since im in a similar spot. But i see it as, they spend so much time away that we want to make up that time not just for them but for us as well

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I work at home with my child. He has NEVER been in daycare, he is 3… On my off time it’s ALL ABOUT HIM! My child, my life. Your child, your choices, your life! Those dishes can wait, that laundry can wait. They are only little once!

You are doing a great job. You are doing exactly what a parent is supposed to. Spending time & making memories that they can look back on. If anything, take more pictures!!!:heart: enjoy the short time we get them as little people because they don’t stay little forever. Fun family experiences… not spoiling. Best wishes.

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What your doing sounds legit to me.

I think its perfect, enjoy it.

Sounds good to me. She can butt out.

She had her time. It’s your turn now, Mama. Sounds like you and Dad dictate just fine.

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Your mother would shut her pants if she saw what I did for my boys. I work in LE. 12 hour shifts. They both go to school everyday of the week but after school if I’m off, my schedule 100% revolves around them. We go to the park several times a week, dinner dates etc. your life revolves around your child not the other way around. Good job mom!


Tell her to mind her business… they’re only little once… you’re making memories !! Tell her your childhood was unhappy and you want to make sure your child knows how to have fun…

You’re catching up on spending tome with him. Just because that’s not how she would raise him, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do that. Everyone parents differently & he doesn’t sound spoiled. Hang in there mama!

Does a child need to see that other things need to be done in life, and it’s not always fun and games, yes, of course. However, if things are still getting done, child is learning responsibility (has to behave at school, help clean up toys nightly, etc), why not also show the child that good times with family is also important!! I wish like hell I could do that!!

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Sounds like you and your spouse are doing a good job together. Keep up the good work on spending time with your lil one.

Im sure a lot of us are in similar situations and i personally think its great bonding time!

I would say this is normal. We do something for our child every week if possible.

Ignore what she says.

As you have stated, he knows that in order to choose his one fun thing he has to do certain things.

It is not as though he gets to do what he wants all the time.

Continue to enjoy it.

I think this is a great idea. Spending quality time with your little is not spoiling! And it gives him something to look forward to

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