My mom feels I am spoiling my child: Advice?

Sounds like your being a good mama!!!

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There’s nothing wrong with it as long as he also knows sometimes mummy and daddy have adult things to do as well.

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Your mom doesn’t raise him so what your mom thinks doesn’t matter. I would stop talking to her about how you raise your son :woman_shrugging:t2: it’s none of her business anyways

That’s not spoiling him. Sounds like you’re a hard working mom that loves her kid. Theres nothing wrong with that.


Hes only.going to be little.for a little while, and it sounds like you’re making it awesome for him. Your mom is entitled to her own opinion, but hes so lucky to have a momma like you!

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Sounds like parenting done right.

What a special way to spend together time. I love it!

Your mom had her turn at raising you her way, now is your turn to raise your child as you see fit, she needs to but out.

I was a single mom and I did the same with my 2 kids. Working full time during the week limited my time with them, so the weekends was OUR time. My kids remember the fun we had and not the stuff bought.

I’m no mother but you sound like a great mom spend time with them while you can my mom’s having a hard time rn because I’m turning 19 in Feb so spend as much time as you can with him and don’t listen to what others say you sound like a great fun loving mother to me :heart:


He will only be little for a short time have fun be happy it’s your life

Who cares what your mom thinks it’s your kid

Absolutely not spoiling! My days off are always centered around my kids and what they wanna do! I want my kids to have amazing memories with mama❤️

Go girl that is great enjoy that baby now

You are doing great! Dont let anyone tell you different! Even your mom!

From a teachers point of view… u should never ever let someone dictate ur family… are u kidding me … my advice though if u choose to take it is as a mother of a teenager is

U will never get these weekends back … cuddles on d couch, pillow forts, lazy days at home … family time at its best

Your child do whatever you feel is right your making memories which will last forever.

Sounds like ur doing perfectly to me.

Why have a child if they have to spend 50 hours a week in childcare


Maybe mom is feeling like she missed out by not getting to do this when you were little, or conversely she’s not enjoying her weekends now. Help her jealousy by inviting her along on your adventures once in a while. No one ever goes to their graves saying “I wish I’d spent more time doing housework.”

You sound like a great Mom, always go with your gut and dont listen to anyone else… :two_hearts::heart::two_hearts:

You are a good mum. Chill.

Your child, your choice. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise

Sounds like your making lovely memories, take no notice of what anyone else thinks or says :grin:


It’s nice that you take him to do fun things but it’s also important that he gets to just chill at home you guys like it’s just a regular day.
He would be getting more of you that way than he does being entertained elsewhere.
Up to you though, so don’t worry about what she thinks.

Im a nanny i think its lovely your giving him your time making it special for him .


I’d tell her to stfu and mind her own business


Honestly I’d ignore her , you know what you’re doing & even if you were “spoiling” your kid , he’s yours & there’s nothing wrong with it :woman_shrugging:t3:


Sounds good great mom has long has your child is also being good it’s amazeing today the kids don’t spend much time with the kids I think u are great mom for what u do

That is so sweet. Most kids wish they had parents who would spend even a fraction of that amount of time with them. Im sure yall will have a good boy who knows how much he is loved and he wont ever question it like so many kids do. Good job, our babies SHOULD come first and when you decide to have them they DO dictate your life or atleast theyre supposed to. Im happy for yall and your sweet boy.


It sounds like you are doing a great job! I truly believe you can’t spoil a child treating him this way. Your mother is so wrong to express this opinion to you. Keep doing what you are doing! He will always remember what a great childhood he had and he will know he is loved.


My kids are grown and gone I regret the time I spent cleaning. Life goes by way too fast and the kids will be gone before you know it. Everyone can chip in to get it done then out the door you go. Have fun laugh a lot and create those memories that are waiting for you.


How sad is it that people mistake time spent with your child and spoiling said child. I think you’re doing great! Giving children autonomy and the possibility of choosing some things in their lives make them better people in the long run, I’m sure of it


You work hard and a lot of hours. Your child is still expected to behave, there is nothing wrong with letting them pick something fun to do and get more attention when you can. Sounds like you’re doing the best you can and personally I feel you’re doing a good job! Don’t let anyone no matter who they are tear you down


This is your family, your choices as his mother and what activities you choose to do as a family. Your mother has had her turn to parent, she must step back and let you parent. Accept her opinion as just that. You know your son and what he needs. You are doing wonderful activities with your son that are bonding and family strengthening. You are doing your best as his mom. Carry on doing what you are doing. Strength to you as his mommy​:sunflower::yellow_heart::blossom:


It’s about balance. Spend time with him, but don’t make every weekend all about him. Take him somewhere YOU want to go - it will be educational. Let Grandma babysit one weekend per month and have a date with your spouse. If life is always all about him you are going to be lonely when you are old.


Tomorrow is never promised. I get teaching responsibilities (which you’re clearly doing) a child’s life isn’t supposed to be hard and cruel just because ADULT life is. We are our children’s safe place, why wouldn’t we want to make them feel happy and special as much as we can?


How is spending quality time with your child spoiling him ? Different story if you were buying him whatever he wanted and he was being rude and obnoxious and getting away with it but by the sounds of your post i think its awesome you are spending quality time with him and he knows right from wrong … keep up the good work i say


That’s a lot of time at daycare during the week. The fact you recognize that and give your child that one on one time and family time when you can is amazing. Not spoiling, Securing a good relationship and family foundation. Keep it up, great job momma :revolving_hearts:


You are doing an absolute great thing for your child. Spending quality time with him on the weekend is great! Definitely not spoiling him, you are showing him love!!


You spend every moment you can with him, rewarding him appropriately as you seem to be doing and don’t let anyone tell you you’re wrong. Time waits for no one. You’re also teaching him the rewards for good behavior. Keep it up Mama :blue_heart::purple_heart::yellow_heart:

Please enjoy every minute you get. They’re only little once and then zoo trips and park days get left in the dust. There is nothing wrong with him picking something to do one day out of the week as long as you and hubby are a priority as well and get to choose things.


how is spending time with your kid and rewarding him for a good week of behavior considered spoiling him? smh. so you’re supposed to sit in the house with the kid all weekend every weekend? bye mom, her opinion is irrelevant.


There needs to be balance. I’m a single mom. My kids go to tge babysitter’s during the week. So I try to do fun things with them on the weekend. Make memories. But, if for some reason we can’t do something fun, I want my kids to realize this is life. It can’t always be about them and what they want. I think the attitude of wanting to spend quality time together is wonderful. Just as long as the child is not dictating your schedule and what you will and will not be doing. So if something needs to get done or you have to be somewhere and it conflicts with the normal time you would be spending time with your child, your child needs to understand this is life. Sometimes things come up. If your child gets this and doesn’t have major meltdowns (being sad and disappointed are ok, tantrums are not), then you are good to go. Don’t worry about how someone else wants you to do things.


You can’t spoil a child it’s called WELL LOVED and I have raised 6 WELL LOVED kids.


Stop worrying about what your mother thinks and do what you think is best for your son.
Mothers will consistently tell you what they think is best…smile, nod and let it go


Your child won’t remember that your sink never had dishes in it or that the floor was always swept, but they will remember all the time you devoted to them :heart:


Sounds like your mom already raised her children and needs to take a step back. You’re doing the raising now, time for her to step back and zip it. Doesn’t sound like spoiling at all, you’re giving him the time he deserves. If this is what works for you, your husband and son, that’s ALL that matters.


I raised 4, so I know ‘from whence I speak’!
And, my children weren’t spoiled or indulged; but, they always knew they were loved!
Maybe your Mom has a ‘jealousy issue’. (?)
Regardless, don’t let her discourage you!
If you’re separated 5 days a week, the weekend is quality family time!
My father’s job had him gone all week & only home on weekends. We (5 kids) never felt neglected, because he made up for it on the weekends!
We didn’t need to do anything special; his active presence confirmed his love!
Those are the days that are precious, and VITAL to the family dynamic & bond!
Those are the days your child will remember!
Take heart, Mama! You’re doin’ great! :+1::wink:

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I say as long as he’s not a brat about keep doing it. It’s tough going to work all day and they are in daycare all day. By the time you get home make dinner and get stuff ready for the next day and try to relax for a few then it’s bed time. I totally get it.


To me, that tells your son that he is your priority, your focus, even though you don’t see him all that much during the week. I think that’s lovely. And he’ll know without a doubt that you WANT to spend time with him, it’s just that you can’t always (through the week) I see no issue in this x

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Our parents grew up and raised kids in a different era than we are. Do what’s best for your family and don’t let other people dictate or disrespect that. Your child will be grateful for what you’re doing, and it should be about your child!! Good job mom and dad!!

He’s definitely not spoiled. There’s only 2 days out of the week that’s about him. The other 5 he’s at daycare for 10 hours. I think you’re doing a great job! What a treat that he gets to choose the adventure for the weekend! Not sure how old he is but he probably doesn’t even realize what’s happening. Not to mention it’s not like he can choose from endless options- like I wanna go to Disney or buy a pony or anything. He’s selecting local experiences. Not material or excessive vacations. Grandma needs to butt out, she’s had her time.

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He’s your child so do what you want. Mum had her chance raising you​:joy:. Time spent with parents can’t be wasted time. Weekends is when working parents get to spend quality time with their kids. Enjoy it :blush:


What is good for one may not work for someone else. I learned that my schedule and life may look very different from others my hubby is a fireman and I’m in healthcare so we do our own holidays may or may not be celebrated on the exact day and birthdays too. The main thing is balancing work and family it sounds like what your doing works for YOUR family that’s what matters


I think this is good for not only the child but the parents… family time is precious


Good for you. Kids need time with Mom and Dad at this time in their lives. Soon enough he will be hanging out with his friends


Sounds like an awesome hard working mom, trying to spend quality time with her baby (that she obviously misses all week) and creating moments for him to remember for a lifetime. She probably gets home during the week and is feed, teach, watch a little tv and kiss him goodnight. Chill out grandma.

That is amazing! All kids need their parents. The house and cleaning and everything will always be there but our children are only little for a short time. Enjoy him! You are showing him love and rewarding him with quality time for good behavior. Keep doing amazing and making the best choices for your family. You are a strong mom and you got this!

Sounds like you’re trying to do a good thing for the family. Maybe have the adults “choose” sometimes (even if they choose something he would actually choose) because when he gets older you may want that to actually be true. :woman_shrugging:t3:

You are amazing. Hes shown that while yes he has responsibilities he sticks to them so he can have his 1:1 fun time on weekends. Its not spoiling at all, its showing him love and making memories. I do this with our 2 girls as mummy works nights and alot of weekends so the rare weekend off we make it about us going somewhere fun for us all, the girls have to be well behaved for daddy and do their chores and no fighting otherwise they loose that privilege. I find we are very strict with whats expected at their respective ages of what they help with and what they receive in return of helpful and good behaviour. Weve never once had to get angry or intervene with consequences yet… its the threat of not having fun time or something special gets them hopping to it. You do you mumma you are teaching responsibility, not spoiling.

Enjoy your children while you can because when they grow up they need to do their life.


You’re doing an amazing job. I think it’s a very good compromise. I know and understand it’s very hard not to care what our parents think about our parenting styles but you have to remind yourself that YOU are the parent, YOU decide! No matter who likes it or not! Keep it up Mama!

Not spoiled. That’s essential family time! Great job, momma. I might start doing the same! Weekends are already for family, but picking something for each weekend might gives us something to help get us through the week.

It sounds like your kid has some wonderful parents. Just keep being wonderful and don’t worry about what other people have to say about it. :heartpulse::heartpulse::heartpulse:

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Your amazing. Special time with a child is not spoiling… its love

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Spend your precious time with your little one!..everything else is always there…your child will grow and the time has gone forever…you are right!!!

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I don’t see a problem with this at all. It sounds like you are holding him accountable for his behavior at home and day care. And what is wrong with treating your child to something special on the weekends after a long, busy week? They’re only little once, and you’ll never regret time spent with your kids!

Your mom already raised her kids. Now you raise yours as you see fit. I think you are doing the right thing. The gift of your time is the best gift you can give your child. Priceless!

That sounds exactly as it should be to me. I would make the weekends all about him too. You enjoy making precious memories together. Those are the things he will remember when he’s older xx

Get rid of mother but sometimes parents do need time alone…but thats great to hear. Kids are the most important and give ur kid a childhood that doesn’t haunt them forever

You’re doing an amazing job with this . Your child your rules . They don’t stay little for long . I was on dialysis for two years and I didn’t have the energy to do what they wanted all the time and even though it was only two years they grew up so much in that time . Enjoy every single second u can with family xx :heart:

Keep doing what you’re doing you are a great mom sounds like someone else is trying to dictate your life and it’s not your kid i wish someone would tell me how to raise my kids please

You are definitely doing the right thing! Not spoiling at all. It’s quality time because the quantity isn’t as much as you would probably want. Your child IS your life. Not dictating it! Keep up the good work! Love them as much as you can!!

Who cares how your mom feels as long as you feel like you are doing it the way you want then that’s what matters. If you are happy with your parenting then that’s what matters. People will always judge other people don’t let them alter the way you want to raise your child though. You do you boo

I dont see anything wrong with what you doing. It’s called balance. And he would only be dictating your lives if he was making the decision to have this kind of routine

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Wait I am confused, you reward him for not biting and fighting at school? Wtf why is that even a problem at his age? I am sorry but that is bull*#$? The kid should never have gone anywhere in public if they bite. I agree with your mom keep that kid at home or as you said everything else can wait. Your kid needs you at home to teach him right from wrong. Maybe your career can wait while you raise a kid right instead of letting daycare raise him. SMH :woman_facepalming: look at the real problem not how your child is responding to it. I feel bad for the situation you have put the poor kid in.

Spending time with your kid and letting them pick something they wanna do is not spoiling your kid… I have 3 and we are always busy so weekends I try to make it about them!!

Sounds perfectly respectable to me.

Shes just part of the generation that unfortunately still believes parents always know whats best.

I parent the same way, I let my boys pick a fun activity on the weekends. It creates beautiful memories.

Not spoiled at all. As long as he knows mom and dad love him and want to spend time I think that’s a win to counter for the rest of the week. Do what you feel is best :heart: that’s awesome that you do that for him

Girl that is your baby… not your mom’s baby… she had a chance to raise her kids like she wanted regardless of what ppl said… now it’s your turn to be the mom YOU want to be and raise YOUR baby the way YOU want! You do what makes you’re baby and you happy! Life is not guaranteed! :heart:

It sounds to me like you are making your child a priority on weekends after a busy week, and having family time, I think its great! Do what you feel is best!

Your child your rules. I rhink that is awesome. Kids need undivided attention. We all fail at that from time to time. I say keep on trucking and enjoy your child and time together. Chores and stuff be there when we died. Memories won’t ifvyou dont make them.

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Don’t listen to the “ninja” that’s what I call them all! It’s your child do what you feel is right! There is a big difference giving a child time and them dictating to you! You work all week and life happens so if you little one gets a day a week, good on you!! The washing and cleaning can wait until they are napping or sleeping!

My motto, when I’m with my little one after work and weekends, it’s his time ( he also understand I have stuff to do) but in a couple of years none of that is going to matter and what will matter is his memories of mama making time for him!

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I did the same with my older daughter who did 4 days (10 hours each day) - Wednesday’s were our mummy daughter day and we had family time at the weekend, they are only small for such a short time, we need to enjoy it while we can!

I do something similar with my 4 yr old
Is she has worked so hard doing her school work nd got her good behaviour points weekend is her choise of activity or treat if she has let mammy do shopping with out her being naughty as she struggles in town with loads of people nd nouse

Sounds like you are being proactive in your child’s life. As it should be . You are making alot of memories.

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I do the same thing with my two boys. Every Sunday we do something fun they decide. Duck pond, movies, trampoline park, zoo, aquarium, whatever. Not so much because of covid now, but I want them to have those fun memories. It’s a way for us to connect as a family and do something to break the routine of school and work.

Honestly I have 2 kids. Ones a baby and the other is 5. During the week they’re both at the babysitters-5 year old does school during the week. On the weekends I take them both out to run errands like grocery shopping and we go to the park, run wild. I try to keep a balance of my sons doing things that need to be done and things that will be fun. My son loves shopping honestly because he helps pick out things and places them in the cart. He even tries to push his brothers stroller or the cart when we go with daddy. The most he’ll want is either legos or fruit snacks which is fine because he’s always doing good every week with the full distance learning. But it also depends on the child. My son has never asked to go somewhere or to go do something else but the park. I tried taking him pumpkin picking and he had no interest at all even though there was a corn maze, hay ride and the works. I think as far as the child asking to go places, it depends on the child but as working parents, some comprise is needed but the child has to know why there is a compromise.

He’s not spoiled. The way I see it it’s like a treat for being good at school and helping you. like you said if he’s naughty or doesn’t listen you don’t go. There will always be cleaning to do but your child isn’t a child forever. I wish I had the money to spend time with my kids and do fun things but my kids don’t listen . They are excellent in school but then come home and turn into little assholes.

Well if she ain’t happy about spending time and making memories with the kid tell her she can stay home and do the cleaning and errands while you 2 are out having fun, the boy will remember who’s there and who made what memories, on her head be it when the wee man is older and all his memories are all about you and him xx keep going, keep making memories cause there no wee long enough xx

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No way that’s awesome you guys do that! He will always have those fun memories of weekends you guys spend together. Please keep it up and dont let anyone make you feel bad about it. Keep making loving family memories!

You sound like aPERFECT MOM AND DAD to me there is to many people make the weekend about them . tomany kids out. Grow up to fast and get in trouble keep up the great work

So to me it sound like he has to earn his outing that’s not spoiling him that is rewarding him for good behavior

I think your do I need great. Let her opinion flow in one ear and out the other.

Sounds to me like you are just making sure to spend quality time as a family. Do what makes your family happy & Don’t worry about what other people think. Just my opinion.

I love this! I am all about my daughter too! Spending time with her is the most important and building these memories too! Time is going way too fast! Before u know it, they will be more into their social lives so I say embrace and cherish all the time ur baby wants with u!

Its a little time spent with love before you know it hes going to be a teen and not want to spend the time with you tske it when you can

Your child…you do it your way. You will give your child a lifetime of good memories and you will have those memories to hold on to when he is grown and has his own place.