She needs to take his damn phone!
Have her clean out his room and only give him a bed and 7 outfits that’s what my parents had to do
3 Likes
I think it’s depression. My husband went through this
I have a 15 13 12 and 10 year olds at home. My 12 year old refuses to clean her room. I go in there with a 50 gallon trash can and throw everything away. I keep the clothes she wears and her bedding for her bed. I take her tv her play station her laptop and her cell phone and until she can keep her room clean for a least a month straight I won’t give her her stuff back.
Therapy, call Dr Phil
1 Like
You could be describing my older brother, especially the bottles of urine… he is now 52 living with mom still does not clean his room. Your brother needs mental health help.
1 Like
Sounds like something more than depression to me. I go thru stages like this (but I worked on it so I keep the thoughts in my head) I’m bipolar 2 with depression. When I go thru my manic phase and can’t do what I want I get very angry and hostile, but I’ve learned to control it (I do have my moments tho) He needs to see a therapist and a phycirotrist and also learn to control it. When I go thru my depressive phases I don’t want to get out of bed AT ALL. Also keep in mind if he doesn’t want help in any aspect of life then there’s nothing you can do but let him make his own choices and decisions and learn from them
2 Likes
My mom would throw EVERYTHING out
3 Likes
Remove everything but clothes and bed from room when you clean it. I also suggest finding him a therapist maybe even a psychologist. He sounds like he may be bi-polar. If he refuses his meds he could qualify for hospitalization to get him started and help get him back on track. Depends on lots of things, but just removing privileges and stuff like that may not be enough. If he is having manic episodes you need to get him help as soon as possible they alway snowball into bigger problems.
1 Like
Gut his room leave only the bed, pillow and you be in charge of anything you bought him even his clothes; make him earn everything back with time and he has to prove it by his actions and how he treats your mom. No leeway either, do not cave and if he ends up getting violent over it call the cops and he can go to juvenile hall and maybe that can straighten him out. They will not tolerate a mess in his bunk.
1 Like
Send him to Juvey, maybe some officers could help in scaring him a little.
Don’t give him back his car or his keys do not let him have any privileges and I agree with someone here in cleaning out his room and leave him a bed and a few outfits of clothing. Although he may have mental problems that need help you can’t force him I’ve been there with one of my grandkids but I absolutely do not give in to him because I think that’s what he’s wanting. He wants someone to think he ill and needs help and if any of that doesn’t work and maybe even if you don’t want to try it put him in a inpatient psychiatric unit to get him some help. He’s 16 and if that’s what he needs then do it!!
The bottles of pee give me the idea that it really is depression. He needs to go see a doctor asap.
1 Like
Throw his shit in the trash !!!
Professional help is needed, but your mom shouldn’t limit that help to just your brother she should consider getting help too. Always take care of number 1, yourself, it puts you in a better position to help the loved ones around you. Also you stated that your brother is “claiming” depression. Everyone should educate themselves on the signs of depression usually that will make it somewhat easier to detect, not always. And finally show grace and compassion with how grown teenagers can sometimes seem, it’s important to remember that they’re still children. They are imperfect, and they are going to make mistakes. They are still learning how to be adults, and they can’t be expected to have the same level of responsibility as one without making a few fumbles along the way. When your teen inevitably makes mistakes, show compassion rather than anger. While consequences may be necessary, hostility isn’t necessary at all. Talk through their mistake calmly, and about what they can do to improve in the future. Offer comfort, and express your disappointment as well as your love.
Simple mistakes may be quickly forgotten in both your mind and your child’s, but the grace shown with your out-of-control teen won’t be forgotten. Knowing that they will be shown compassion when they make mistakes in the future will make them more likely to respect you as a parent and come to you with concerns they have in the future. No one who offers you advice in this forum has to deal with this situation you find yourselves in but understand that it’s not your fault and having compassion and forgiveness for yourselves would be wise. God bless, and may you find the answers you need.
1 Like
take his phone and truck keys.
2 Likes
Give him a blanket so he can go sleep in his truck or live in it or whatever he said, call his bluff, he will do 1 of 2 things: be better or leave and stay gone, either way, problem solved! Mom gotta realize she not responsible for his actions if he refuses her help, don’t help him, simple!
Except it hurts mom like hell, she gotta decide what is the most important, her overall mental health or her guilt (if kid leaves).
2 Likes
He does need to see someone. Could be depression but also sounds like he’s starting hoarding
Does he have a girlfriend? Invite her over to show her how he lives.
4 Likes
Clean his room. Leave nothing but the bed.
7 Likes
I’d would pack up everything n only leave him with a air mattress n a tote for clothes
2 Likes
Ass beating sounds appropriate
Put everything he owns except a mattress and blanket out for the bin men and sell his car,or get someone to garage it without his knowledge (let him think it’s been sold)and his phone an any other social gadgets until he can act an behave responsibly he’s not a baby then he can have it all back
Alternately leave home see how he feels about that.
3 Likes
Throw everything away… don’t give him his keys to his car, take his phone… Hell start to care when he doesn’t have anything, do to his actions.
Full stop.
It sounds like your brother might be a hoarder. He needs intensive, specialized, therapy, beginning with a full psychiatric evaluation. This is very serious and must be handled carefully. Family therapy is also warranted. Until he is evaluated accurately and properly medicated (and be sure to mention his resistance to the psychiatrist along with pics and a video of his room), nothing will change.
2 Likes
I’m glad she took his keys!!! And next she needs to tell him she will no longer be paying his phone bill. And change the wifi password. As long as she don’t back down and follows through. And if you do clean it take his TV, games, whatever else mom may have bought. Pee in a bottle is the last straw. At this point he deserves nothing!! Tough love he wants them it’s time for some real tough love. That’s just gross!! I wonder how his friends/peers would feel about pissy bottles… 
1 Like
I wouldn’t take the depression statement so lightly. Yes, people with depression can become even more depressed due to the fact they need medication and refuse to take it. Try a gentle talk therapy approach and help him clean it up in the process. Let him know, as his older sibling, he can reach out to you personally for help anytime of the day. Even if you don’t understand, tell him you do and you’re there for him. Maybe dedicate a day for just you two to do something together. It can be extremely hard for a teenager to express and even understand what they’re feeling. Try hard to not chalk it up as he’s a unruly a-hole. Sounds like the kid needs a real friend.
1 Like
It’s time for “Tough love.” If he wants to sleep in his car let him but keep his keys. It’s warm enough. I would have already started throwing his stuff away. I would tell the mom that he probably cares about his bed, his phone etc, if he has a tv -remove it. Remove the door, don’t clean his mess. Throw everything away unless he decides to straighten up his attitude. At this age he could have some mental health issues but he is acting like a teen and pushing boundaries.
2 Likes
He needs a strong man to get him straight!
Time to sell the wheels!
2 Likes
I would throw everything in his room away and take his phone and tv
4 Likes
He’s underage so the mother could sign and have him put in the mental unit for treatment for depression. It would be hard but if that’s the only way he can receive help, then it would be best for him. It’s a tough situation for sure. I would Def take his truck and the door to his room. He needs help and wouldn’t give anything back until he earns it ! 
2 Likes
You can’t spoil them rotten then try to start parenting when they are almost adults.
1 Like
Young one, clean his room out - everything- except for a bed, dresser and night stand. Remove the door. Do not let him eat or drink in his room. As far as the pee - this is usually a sign of mental imbalance or - chemical dependency ( alcohol, meth , heroin or whatnot) your Momma needs to put her foot down - if he moves out - take his clothes and personal hygiene stuff. No phone, vehicle or any luxuries your parents gave him. How is his grades and behavior at school? If he’s failing - or have gone down - there is a reason - 
2 Likes
After his room is cleaned…take everything out of there. Nothing. Since he doesn’t respect his mother or his family…take away everything. Including his phone…
1 Like
I threw out everything on the floor, and more, used the excuse “it was on the floor, I just binned everything. I gav 3 warnings to clean the room up. I said” God help you if I have to do it, you’ll be left with nothing" and I followed through on my rant. If they don’t like it they can leave home!
4 Likes
He needs medical attention. I get the lazy teen but the stink and bottles of pee!!! No.
Clean his room, remove everything that is not minimal. No TV games phone or computer. No food in his room. Kitchen eating only. He thinks she is his slave and it will only get worse. If he gets violent or does not come home, file a police report. This may get him evaluated for care.
3 Likes
I’d get a couple of big guys to go in with trash bags and put every single item that is out of place in those bags and haul it away somewhere and tell him they’ll be back in a week to either pick him up to take him to go through the bags to retrieve what he wants and let him take it back or they’ll throw it out . Then I’d tell him they will be back on a weekly basis to do the same. Tough love has to happen sometimes and it works most of the time, not always, but most of the time. I did this myself with a prior warning to a teenager and once she was down to her mattress on the floor, no door and only the folded or hanging clothes and the shoes on her feet and no phone, she was done. Did it twice then never had to do it again. If you give up or give in he wins 
Each new opportunity that you come across, always try to give it a try because this might be your
Golden chance of making yourself good income, you don’t have to wait, its free, work towards it my dear I promise you will make it out successfully as I did stop having double mind.Dm her
I Can’t believe this but it’s true and I’m happy this online trading could change my life for good…Thanks once more for the effort and support you put in making my life worthwhile… God bless you Mrs, Lisa jennifer I’m really excited to be apart of this wonderful opportunity ma’am🙏reach out to her
I am so lucky to invest with Mrs lisa jennifer she’s the only account manager I’ve seen to be legit and also keeps to her words, I don’t really know if there are others out there. But I can tell you since i started investing with her I’ve been benefitting from her platform a lot. You can contact her and make your own profit, message her on the name 
I started trading with Manager Mrs lisa jennifer, I have been really happy because my life has changed for good .Trading with her has added a lot to my life, and I’m really happy for that. When I started trading, I was granted access to every single activity that was going on my account. That made me trust her 100%
I advice you to start up now just click on the name And thank me later👍
I’d just take everything outta his room except his bed and dresser
Might not help but at least he won’t have anything to make a mess
4 Likes
Clean his room yourself and take everything out including his bed he earns his things back when he can show respect
5 Likes
Every thing except his bed and basic clothes can go in the bin. Let him get a job or do chores and pay to replace it all.
7 Likes
I hope he doesn’t hurt her. PRAY about the situation.
1 Like
He needs help. It sounds like he’s using drugs, alcohol or both. I would clean up his room when he’s not there. I agree. Everything out but the bed. No sheets. Just a blanket and pillow. Basic clothes can go in a tote that goes under the bed. No TV. No radio. No games. No stereo. He earns stuff back with decent behavior, starting with urinating in the bathroom and not in bottles in his room. No yelling, no back talk. No food in his room. If he’s not careful, no phone. If he gets out of control, call the police. He needs help. Before he hurts his mother. The courts will see to it he gets it.
7 Likes
Tell him that if he can’t follow the rules she will get the juvenile court involved.
3 Likes
It sounds like he needs to talk to a therapist or a counselor cause something is going on with him I that you and your mom can get him help that he needs. I will pray that God gives you and your family strength and guidance through this…
1 Like
She has ALREADY lost control of him. Isn’t there a police youth something where a police office can come and talk to him? Isn’t there a youth camp or boot camp she can put him in? YOUR MOTHER NEEDS to DO SOMETHING ASAP!!! my guess is he wasn’t nipped in the bud at an early age, so this is the consequences now
2 Likes
Have her go to the juvenile center and get a c.h.i.n.s order
3 Likes
Tough love in a situation like this is not the answer. The fact is he is still a child, a teenager that obviously needs some help and shaming him is going to make things worse. The room situation shouldn’t be aloud to get to that point in the first place because there needs to be expectations laid down and standards that have to be met. Mom needs to be going in there and checking up on things. He, along with your mother should be in counseling to support his mental health and her navigating parenting a troubled teen in the most functional way. I feel a lot of the times we can look at a teenager and think because they’re so big and independent that they’re on the same level mentally as an adult. We forget that their brains are not fully developed and they need their parents arguably more at that age than ever due to their new found independence and navigating the world in ways they never have before. Connecting with your teenager is profoundly important in helping them open up to you and want to please you. Going out of your way to engage with him and bonding might be one of the best things you could do in a situation like this, combined with meds (if prescribed) and therapy.
4 Likes
Are drugs or alcohol involved?
2 Likes
He would not be living at my house any more. When you go to clean his room why do t you pack it up and set his stuff outside by the garbage? He should look ve outside in the pig sty.
2 Likes
Where’s dad? Sometimes it is harder for teens if dad isn’t around.
2 Likes
Get him some counseling/therapy.
1 Like
Send him to military school. They will straighten him out.
4 Likes
Praying for him to get away from whatever he’s on. Sounds like you’re family needs prayers 
2 Likes
Take absolutely everything out of the room but enough clothes for the week and his bedding. Do not allow any dishes or food or anything in there. Once he stops being a shit head he can start getting stuff back
Thats a kid whos already started messing with drugs.
3 Likes
Does he have a tv and video game in his room? The peeing in bottles could be related to that, if he doesn’t want to stop playing. 16 is young and military school is not what I would do. I have a 16 year old and he’s nasty, too. I haven’t found pee in bottles but trash, food, dirty clothes-all over his room. I turn off the internet and be a royal bitch until the room is clean. (About every 2 weeks) Good luck to you and your mom:heart: 
He may truly be depressed. A lot of kids these days are. That is her son and your brother. Maybe he needs to talk about whats bothering him. We only get one chance to love each other in this world. Kindness goes a long ways. Once we lose someone they will never be back on the earth. Wheather its drugs,or just the depressing times we are living in. We only have one family. If he can be helped by talking its surely worth a try. I do know only Gods presense in our lifes can make things easier. I lost one son at 21 and another at 44. not one day passes that I don,t miss them and wish they were here with me and their other 3 siblings. God is all that has kept me going.
1 Like
Kick him out n let him sleep in his truck like he said as he will soon learn also take his key off him so he can’t sneak back in. Sometimes people need to learn the harsh way and have a reality check xx
When kids are allowed to get away with anything without any serious consequences they do whatever the fuck they want. I know I was one of them.
Violence isn’t always the answer. But the statement that violence is never the answer is just retarded.
boy needs a good boot in the azzz!!