QUESTION:
"My mum wanted to know if we were going to go around for Christmas lunch or Christmas dinner and then lost it at me when I said I don’t know because it depends on if the baby’s here or not.
But either way, we wanted to spend it with just us as our own little family, and when I suggested maybe doing a family Christmas meal like she wants a few days earlier or later she went even more nuts. Because what if my step sister wants it on a different day than us?
To me it shouldn’t matter what my stepsister wants to do; I’m the one who might have a newborn or be popping one out any day around then. Thank you in advance."
RELATED QUESTION: My family tries to make me feel bad for staying home during the pandemic: Advice?
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
“We are in the middle of a pandemic: no one should be planning holiday gatherings of more than their immediate family anyway. Newborns should be very limited in exposure to others even when there is no pandemic.”
“I get where you are coming from. But to me, Christmas has always been the whole family getting together. Yeah, you have your own family now. But the rest of your family is still your family as well.”
“At some point in life, the person who always had dinner at their house is going to realize their children are going to want some changes. I hated it when my kids wanted to do their own things, but it’s normal. New babies should be protected for a period of time… that is normal too.”
“Just do you, mama. Establish now that Christmas Day is your family’s day. If they wanna do Christmas Eve or the day after then you’ll be there; if not… shrug! They obviously don’t care that much to choose a different day and don’t respect the fact you have your own family now.”
“Honey, tell her to simmer down. A new baby, normal winter germs, covid, and childbirth recovery are not to be messed with when you have a newborn. If she is going to be selfish then she gets NOTHING.”
“Girl, I am due next week Friday with our 3rd child. I don’t plan on going to Thanksgiving or Christmas this year. We will have 3 under 3 & would like time to heal & adjust. You offered up an alternative & she didn’t take so if she doesn’t want to meet halfway then I wouldn’t worry about it. She will get over it, you’re allowed to make your own decisions for your family. I still plan on having dinner with my mom & siblings & my spouse’s parents & siblings but that’s about it nothing with the rest of our extended families for my sanity. You do whatever you feel is best for you!!”
“I wouldn’t expose a newborn to a big family dinner this year. I’d be too stressed out and anxious to enjoy the holiday. I had to have an unexpected c-section and wanted to be alone for a few weeks. The family should be more understanding.”
“Definitely stay home… making it clear now will be easier than if you wait and honestly it’s way more fun to spend it in your jammies with your kids and spouse, especially when the kids get older. You will find something that works for everyone and her attitude proves you are making the right decision.”
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READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:
they obviously don’t care that much to choose a different day and don’t respect the fact you have your own family now.
