My mom is newly separated after many years of marriage. A few months ago, she said she wanted to get back out there and try dating again. (My feelings on that - she should take time to work on herself and heal before trying to fill the void with another man. But! She is an adult, and we wanted to support her.) She talked to my siblings and me about it. We all agreed she is an adult, and we want her to be happy. The one thing that we asked was that she did not bring random men over to the house. The reason for this is because my little sister still lives in that home (she’s in her early 20’s), and there’s no reason to bring strangers into her home and her space. We said if you want to date… Go for it! Go out on dates, go do activities, heck- go to your dates house if you want, but please don’t bring them to the family home. At least until she really knows them and things are serious. She agreed and even laughed at us for thinking she would be so careless to bring strangers home. Our thoughts are purely from a safety standpoint. She’s meeting random men on dating websites and naively trusting what they tell her right away and giving her address out. Online dating is great, and I’m sure there are a lot of good people to meet out there, but it still makes sense to use some caution with anyone new that you meet. It turns out…she has been bringing men over to the house when my sister is out of the house or out of town. She has brought three different men over that we know of in the last five months. It really bothers me that she doesn’t care that this could potentially be dangerous, and she only thinks about herself. She brings them over when my sister is gone and doesn’t tell anyone she’s having someone over. My biggest fear is her having a bad person over and them hurting my mom and waiting for my sister to come home and hurting her too. If she lived all by herself and wanted to do this, then that’s fine because she is only putting herself at risk and no one else. We told her if she wants to do this, then we will find another place for my sister to live. She got very sad and promised she wouldn’t do it again, but we found out she recently did it again. I don’t know how to go about this situation. I know she is lonely and going through stuff, but I do not trust her judgment. Why… does she have to have them over her house right away? Why not go out and get to know them! I don’t even want to let my kids go over there because I have no idea who will be around. The worst part is she lies non-stop, so it’s very hard having a conversation with her. I just don’t know what to do. I’ve kept my mouth shut the whole time because I recognize she’s grown, but if anything happened to my sister because of her, I would never forgive her. I don’t know how to make her realize that before something bad happens to either one of them. If she really feels strongly about doing what she wants, then she should say that and have an honest conversation. That way, my sister can decide what she wants to do instead of my mom making the decision for her, behind her back. She always raised us to be cautious, so I don’t feel that we are unreasonable, but I would like some feedback. Are the family requests unreasonable? Please, no negativity this whole thing has been weighing heavy on my mind for some time.
She’s an adult woman… no, you don’t get ANY say. And if your sister has an issue and feels like this could be unsafe, she can move out since she is an adult, not a young child. You all need to back off and leave the lady in peace.
She is grown and I assume pays for the house? Sounds like you and your sister need to grow the fuck up and get over yourself.
Your sister is in her 20s? So grown…? I stopped there. Lol she’s a whole adult in your MOM’S House… I mean you people slay me with your unrealistic request and limitations on others
Your sister is an adult amd needs to get her own place she is 20, if she wants her space… Your mother raised her children amd its her own home. If your sister is uncomfortable move. Period. I would never at even probably 17 tell my parents what to do in thier own house I. Living in as an adult. Mind ya own business.
It’s her home. She’s an adult. Your sibling is an adult… period.
Your “little” sister should move out and get her own place.
Girl bye, thats a grown woman and its her house how you gonna tell her who to bring in her house. Tell you sibling to go do something since shes 20 while your mom has company in her house.
Your sister is old enough to get her place and shouldn’t be living with mommy still unless she has special needs. It’s moms house, moms rules. You could discuss your fears with her, but it’s time for your sister to adult… and move out. Maybe mom would let you know if she has a date coming over and you can check in on her… moms turn to have fun.
I understand your feelings and concerns but your momma and your sister are both grown. Why can’t your sister move in with you, if you both feel so strongly about it.
You are trying to tell your mom who she can and cannot have in her home? Not your home, but her home? You are some sort of crazy.
One: it’s your mom’s house. Two: your sister an adult she doesnt like what your mom is doing. She can move out.
I understand why you are worried but your mom an adult with her own house. If she wants bring people, than she can.
You’re emotionally blackmailing her. Her daughter can leave on her own if she dont like it. Sounds Like that woman had been controlled in one way or another most of her life and is finally enjoying some damn freedom.
I feel sorry for her.
She’s an adult. And 20 is an adult. Sooooooo she can move out of her mom’s house and get her own place if she feels unsafe. Y’all have no say. At all. None.
Mind your business is what I have to say about it.
Wait a min…your the children. Grown children at that. Since when do YOU decide what mom should or should not do?? Y’all dont like it then little sis can move. Shes an adult. Stop trying to think you deserve something and decide something. If she makes a mistake then it’s hers to make. Thats whats wrong with you 20 and 30 yr old today. You believe your entitled to everything and make the rules and decisions. Get out here with that scrap and leave mom alone and live you own lives smdh.
I don’t think they are unreasonable your trying to look out for your family. But I would get my sister out of there. Sounds like your mom is struggling to fill a void for herself but not thinking what the consequences of her actions could do not only to herself but your sister. Get your sister out of there and unfortunately let your mom learn from her mistakes.
I’m sorry to say but your sister is an adult and she can move out! It’s your mother’s has and really it’s not a “family” decision what she does. If you don’t like it have your sister move in with you.
Then have the sister move in with you. I get your concerned but you can’t tell woman who she can or cant have in her own home. Change is scary. I deal with this with my mom on a daily basis. You just gotta say fuck it and stop worrying about it. It’s only bothering you. Not her. She is doing what she wants to do.
She an ADULT. She can do as she pleases. Your " little " sister is also an ADULT. If it bothers her, then maybe she can he an adult and get her own place.
I understand your concern for your mom and sister. But it’s your mom’s house. Your sister is an adult and can find somewhere else to live (if, she, as adult, is uncomfortable with mom bringing men home - it wasn’t clear how SHE feels as your post focused on how you and your other siblings are feeling). I get the concerns, and you can express them to your mom, but you cannot set rules for your mother to follow in her own home! You CAN decide not to allow your kids to be around the men your mother is dating or to spend time alone in her home if you are concerned she will expose them to risk but you don’t get to make rules for other adults and expect them to follow them. I expect that is why your mom is sneaking around - because she doesn’t want to damage her relationship with you, but recognizes that she can do darn well whatever she wants.
Your little sister (in her 20’s) is also an adult. So I don’t see the issue.
Stop controlling your mom and support her
How does your sister feel. She is the one sharing the house and not a child.
Your sister is an adult your moms an adult. Get mom should be more cautious on who she sends her address to but really none of your business.
I feel she is an adult and so is your sister, if your sister wants to leave because she feels uncomfortable then she should bit it’s your mother’s house. I’m not saying I don’t agree with erring on the side of caution at any age but at the end of the day her house her decision
Everyone in this situation is an adult. I think maybe you need to talk to someone to help you work through your feelings and work toward acceptance. It’s ok to need some help adjusting. But there is nothing wrong with the circumstances.
Lmfao your sister 20. It’s not like shes 10. If your mom wants to bring men home to HER HOUSE that’s her choice…
It sounds an awful lot like your mother chose to stay in an unhappy relationship to give her children the best resources. It’s her turn to live. Be happy for her.
Your nuts… and you and all your siblings are crazily controlling and paranoid. There’s bad people everywhere but suggesting that the owner of the house, your mother, needs to take into acct her 20 something year old live in daughter WHEN SHES NOT EVEN THERE is the epitome of privilege. Holy shit. Her house, her rules and vice versa. Yoire acting like your mother is staying with you and having unknown men OVER TO TOUR HOUSE when that’s not the case…And thinking your mothers dating habits are yours to control and approve of is a problem all in itself. You said it yourself she was married for a long time. She deserves to get back out there or do WHATEVER it is that makes her happy.
Ummm…that’s your mommas house. She can do as she pleases. Your sister is a grown adult. 
Girlllll, let your momma hoe around. She no doubt deserves it. Your sister is in her 20s she doesn’t have to like it but she has to deal with it. It is your mommas house. She needs a chance to feel free.
is this for real?? Your mom is a grown ass women if she wants to bring men to bang in the house she paid for that’s her business not yours… your sister whom is also an adult can mind her damn business as well and be proud that mama got game or move the fuck out…
no. Just no. Her life. Her home. Your sister has to get over it or find a bf of her own to occupy her time and worries- my parents divorced when I was 20 I think… I’m 26 now but can’t even remember when but that said I would never tell my mom she couldn’t bring her bf over lol that’s ridiculous. I even pay rent and wouldn’t tell her that.
While I understand your concern for your mom and sister’s safety, at the same time it is your MOTHER’S house. Yall have lived there almost all your lives, you’re all adults and pretty much all moved out and now you’re trying to tell her what to do in her own home? If your sister has an issue with it then she should either talk to your mom one on one or move out, if she’s also an adult.
Its your mothers home & you all are grown. If u are so worried then let your sister live with u. Its sounds like you all are trying to control her & are bitter that she is dating again. She would probably be honest with you all if u weren’t so judgmental. Tell your sister to move out & have your mother send you the information of the guys she is dating at the moment. Tell her u love her & to be safe. Her children are grown & she is free to do as she pleases
So mom is an adult. Your sister should move out if SHE has issue with what your mom does in her own house. And the rest of her children need to stop trying to control her. How awful for your mom.
I read until you said she is 20. Im sorry to say, neither of you have the right to tell your MOTHER what to do in her home. End of story
Mom raised her children. Its mommas time and the fact she ever agreed to not having anyone she wants in her own home just says how much she loves you both. But come on…
I mean I get your concern. But yikes.
You adult children should mind your own business.
Seems like she has to lie. How sad she feels she can’t be honest and feel like she will lose the rest of her families love and support. I also am single now and have a 20 year old daughter at home. Let me just say this… I’m an adult and I will do as I please. Even if it seems reckless to someone else. If my daughter doesn’t like it she’s free to leave. Now you seem very concerned and loving. So mom couldn’t be all bad. Try to relax hun. This is a big change for you too. I wish you all the best of luck 
Seriously… you act like your sister is a child. She’s old enough to move out. Let your mom do her thing, who cares how many men it is, it’s her house she can have whoever she pleases over.
It’s your moms house, your sister is just a roommate there. Your sister is 20, not 5, so if she doesn’t like strangers coming over then she can move. Stop trying to control your mom and let her do her thing. Everyone is adults here🤦🏼♀️let her live her life the way she wants.
You need to back off. You are the children, she is the mother. She got you to adulthood alive. Even with adult children she is having to sneak about and even that isn’t good enough. She is a grown woman, let her live her life and go live yours.
Sounds like that movie on Netflix Dirty John maybe you should have her watch it
I mean I can understand if your sister was a minor having some concerns but she’s an adult. If she feels uncomfortable she should look for some where else to stay after all that’s your moms house. But if she’s not even home when your mom brings a guest I don’t see a problem it’s not like she’s there anyways. Plus it’s her house she can bring whoever she wants to her house.
Your MOTHER is an adult and can do whatever she pleases and it’s actually none of your buisness as long as she isn’t like trying to run away and marry someone she doesn’t know. She is just dating. And your sister is an adult as well! It’s really none of your buisness what she does either unless she is hurting herself or others!
It sounds like you got your values somewhere. Now let your momma grow up.
The “family home”… NOPE!! That is your moms home and you children are GUESTS in her house!! She can do as she pleases. Why don’t you mind your own life and relationships and leave your mother alone.
If it’s her house…mind ya business. Your sister isn’t 2 and can make decisions on her own. Stay in your lane
Um pardon me but… IT IS YOUR MOTHERS HOME AND PERSONAL LIFE! None and I mean NONE of you children should be asking anything of her! Can she come to your home and say who you can bring into your home?! As for your sister I understand she’s living there but she is in her 20’s, she herself should be living her life to the fullest in her own home, not her mother’s. In no way is this a roommate type of situation where your sister can dictate who can and can’t be there. It’s your mother’s home. Shame you feel like you have to monitor your own mom’s personal decisions and home.
Ya’ll are GROWN. Gtfo out of your mums house if you don’t like it.
The ‘youngin’ is on her twenties. Maybe she should move out. Momma is GROWN. She can have WHOEVER she wants in HER home, that SHE pays the bills in. Just like my little sister. Momma can’t date, her children should be enough… #FuckThatNoise
Yes they are unreasonable. Sounds like you are using your grown sister as an excuse for her not to bring someone to her house. All this “we told her” stuff but don’t seem to care if she goes out with these men they could do something to her away from her home if they were gonna. Let your mother live her life and be happy for God’s sake.
If your sister can bring strange men home then so can your mother.
Your mom is a grown adult in her own house. Your sister is also an adult who can move out if she doesnt like what your mom does. 
It would be different if your sister was a child ,but she is an adult.maybe this is the first time you mom has got to really live. Let your live her life the way she wants, you can express you concerns to her,but it the long run she will do whatever she wants
Your sister is an adult.
Your mom is an adult.
Its your mother’s home. Your mother’s personal life. And as someone who went through a divorce…it can be part of the process. Exploring a side of herself she hasn’t had the chance to yet.
Give her some space. If you’re that concerned for your sister…let her live with you.
Sounds like it’s time for your little sister to move out. Or if you’re that concerned, she can move in with you guys. Problem solved. Don’t make your mom feel guilty for being a grown woman. If mom wants sexy time, mom can have sexy time…AT HER HOUSE. 
Not being negative. Being REAL. You’re all adults. As is your mother. - Your youngest sibling, of 20+ is old enough to have a partner of her own, or to have a place of her own. Your mom lived her life for you kids, and will continue to. But she also needs her free time, and the ability to do as she pleases in HER HOME. Yes, it’s a place to bring the family together, but she pays the rent. She provides for everything. She works. Shes responsible. Its her house, and she shouldn’t have to obid by anyone. If your sister doesnt like it, she can move! If she wants to bring someone home even if it just be a friend, she is allowed. There should be no question about it. - how embarassing would that be, to say, sorry, you cant come back to my place for dinner (or whatever the reason is) because I’m not allowed. No. Just no. Let your mom be herself. Let her be free. And let her be happy!!
If you or your sister has a problem with ya momma wanting to get some dick in her own house y’all suck grow up and mind your own business…
I think it’s time to have a sit down with your family and see what is best. I do have to say not being mean but everyone is all kick her out, sh can move… Is she is in school? Should she drop out to make the money to live alone? Is there anywhere for her to go? So let’s take any sort of stability from this girl and make her move? You can hardly support yourself on min wage these days working full time on top of it she has to move out not go to school or succeeding in life because mom wants to have guys over? Is your kids education or future worth a hook up? Would you make your kid leave?
Your sister is 20 not 12… your mother is an adult that I’m assuming pays her own bills… your out of place. In my opinion you all need take a step back and let the woman live.
You and your sister get dick so why can’t your mom??
U need to tell her how u feel. If ur worried about ur sister, then she’s is grown up. U can’t live anyone’s life, but ur own.
Who’s house is it? Who pays the bills? If mom, than it’s none of your business.
You realize your sister is 20
I feel the same way about my MIL. But there are some differences. Shes meeting these sleazy guys at biker bars and bringing them home THAT night. Multiple guys a month. And she has 2 CHILDREN in the home. A 10 and 13 year old. Little.girls.
Could your sister move in with you?
Im sorry but you are wrong for trying to set rules for your mom your sister is grown. Time for her to het her own place. Thats your moms house she can do what she wants and bring who ever she wants home
I mean if its her house… Myob
All yall seem to need to go watch the homicide channel or the ID channel and realize there are phsycos out there that could rly hurt these women doesn’t matter if they are grown or not no one should be meeting strangers from the Internet privately imo she has every right to be concerned momma doesnt sound like she is grown and making bad decisions as a way to lash out after being freshly divorced …my sister did this and got rly hurt physically by a guy who expected more on the first meeting
If you don’t want negativity, why did you ask for feedback. What you want is everyone to say you are right. Mom should always take care of a 20 something. Not have a love life. Or any life without asking for permission. And using your kids is sad on your part. So mom deserves a life. Mind your own if you want to be part of a real connection with mom.
Your mother is an adult, it’s HER house, your sister is also an adult and she can move out if it bothers her.
Let your mom date and butt out of her business. 
If that bothers your GROWN ASS ADULT sister so much that your mom has a guy at YOUR MOTHERS HOME, move.
Honestly it’s her house. Your sister is an adult and choosing to live there. It is crazy that yall are setting rules for her in her own home.
My opinion it’s none of your business what your MOTHER does and your 20 yr old sister needs to suck it up and deal with your mom finding someone else
It’s not reasonable if the youngest is 20…
Stella (mom) got her groove back leave her be… and let her get some strange ding dong 🤷🤷
Get a life. Stay out of theirs…
Your sister needs to move tf out. She’s an adult. Problem solved.
It sounds like your mother already made her decision. It’s up to your sister to find a safe place to be.
She’s grown. It’s her home. You dont get to tell her what to do
Watch some damn Golden Girls and lighten up.
Look into the pyschology of how an adult reverts back for a while to the person they were before they were married… it does settle down and she has her own choices in her own home!
So I’m gonna be the odd one. Your mama is grown and so is your sister. You can ask her but you have no choice on dictating her life and what she does in her free time rather your sister is there or not
Your sister is 20…not 12… If she wants her own space, not having to see any of your mom’s dates then she should move out! Problem solved…Your mom is wanting to explore a new part of her life…her kids are grown & she should 
be able to do whatever the hell she wants lol. You all are her ADULT children…you should probably start acting that way and also, stop treating your mom like SHES the child…you guys are living YOUR lives…let her live HERS
It’s her house, that being said she can bring anyone she wants it’s HER HOUSE… 
Your mom is an adult and your sister that is in her 20’s and is still living with her mother doesn’t get to dictate how her mom lives in her. If she doesn’t like it, she can move. She’s living with her mother, not the other way around. It sounds like you are more concerned over being hurt that your mom is dating and is having a life than who she is bringing home.
Its the “family home”? Hahaha if i showed up to my mothers house before she passed telling her what to do in her house, because that was the “family home” i would have gotten my teeth knocked down my throat. Your sister isn’t a child 20 something is plenty old enough to have her own place and her own life, hell i was living on my own at 17. Y’all should be ashamed thinking your mom even HAS to tell you her grown woman business. She maybe talked with y’all about it out of respect or just to see what y’all thought but honey she in no way needs y’all’s permission to live her life. That’s her home and im sure if she was responsible enough to keep y’all kids alive she is responsible enough to date and have whoever she wants to in HER home. Also that is your mothers home and your mothers space I’m sure shes the one paying the bills not your sister. Let your sister live with you if your so concerned
She may not understand what could happen. Explain to her that one of those men could show up another time and hurt them. She may think that since she’s not home it don’t matter.
Yea find a new place for your sister if your that worried about her. What your mom does with her life is her business because she’s a grown woman. Whether you agree with her decisions or not, mind your business and help your sister, although she’s an adult she should be moving out if she feels unsafe or doesn’t want to be there for that. It shouldn’t be up to you to decide what’s best for her either.
Find a place for your sister. It will keep peace for everyone.
She raised all of y’all to be adults and now wants to live her life for herself and yall can’t even let her have that? I’d be ashamed to call you my children I’m sorry. /:
Mind your own business,and as for your sister she needs to move tf out.
Look sweetie. Your momma did her job. She raised y’all and sent y’all on your ways. She’s entitled to her own happiness, regardless if your 20 year sister is still living at home. She is grown, both of you have no right to question your mothers happiness. Period
Tell her to go shagging in a car park & book herself into a std clinic.
Your mom is GROWN it is HER house , if your sister is soooo uncomfortable she needs to find other living arrangements.
Absolutely agree with you. There is so much traffic in going on she is setting herself up
Are you serious? I seriously thought that you were talking about your mom bringing strange men around your children who are little. Then I read to find out that your concern is your sister, who is an adult. Your mom is an adult and your sister is an adult and you need to butt out. If your sister is uncomfortable, then she has every right to voice it to your mom or find her own place to live.
Omg Laura Chapman this is the funniest shit I’ve seen