My ex-husband and I finalized our divorce last January. We have a two-year-old and a five-year-old together. Anyway, I’m in a pickle. MY parent’s 30th wedding anniversary is coming up in September. They have a trip planned to Disney World for their anniversary. They decided they were going to pay for several of us to go down to celebrate (hotel, food, passes for the parks, etc.). She invited my aunt and uncle, my sister, my kids and I AND my ex-husband and his new girlfriend… I am not okay with her inviting my ex and his girlfriend. I have told her I am not okay with it simply because it’s just plain weird and wrong. I have told him that I am not okay with him going either, and he doesn’t see the problem. I’m wondering if anyone has any suggestions on how to handle this. I have told her that my kids and I would not be going if he goes. She doesn’t seem to care. I’m at a loss. TIA
Wow…sounds like they are disrespecting you.
I think the kids would love a vacation with both parents… I mean, do what you do, but do you really want your kids to miss Disney? #coparenting
I’m weird…I wouldn’t mind…when I finally get to take my kids I actually plan on inviting my ex and his girlfriend if they pay for themselves. I feel like disney world is something the kids would enjoy more with BOTH parents and seeing everyone having a good time together and getting along.
How is your relationship with your ex currently? Speaking? Animosity? Get along good Co-parenting?
Disneyworld is so big that I doubt you will spend much time with your ex!! Stop being selfish and let him go. After all you have 2 kids with him!! Sounds like maybe you’re upset he has already moved on and you haven’t!! Be happy he still wants to be involved with the kids!!
Just go, your kids should both parents with them. I would be mad too but dont let it interfere with kids hsving fun.
Absolutely okay…1. Its not abt you nor your ex any longer…They did this for your child and the more people to love your child the happier you should be…I think its selfish for you to even say anything especially since you are not having to pay for anything…GROW UP AND ENJOY FOR YOUR CHILDS SAKE…
You’re divorced from him now. My mother always told people, she divorced the man not the family. Coparent. What if that’s his wife one day? What if you’re dating someone? Would you have them treat your new partner differently?
Let your x there dad go celebrate with your family you go have a little Holliday kid free good luck I’d be very annoyed too
Your ex is part of kids and who he loves is going to be involved.Suck it up buttercup.His girl is going.
Wow, your mom is a jackass and of course your ex doesn’t mind. Its a free trip for him… I wouldn’t go. Or you could go, take your kids while there and spend the time with them only not following the crowd.
Ok, I am old enough to be your grandmother,. I was also a single parent. Yes I remained on good terms with my ex. Celebrated holidays, birthdays, etc together. Why?? For the kids. Your children need to feel good that their parents are friends.
If my daughter was divorced, I would Include my ex son in law. Why?? It is good for my grands.
Please go and let them know you and dad both love them
It actually awkward and uncomfortable.
I’m thinking it would be good for your kids to see you and their father together working as a team instead of split households…
It sounds like your mom and ex have no respect for your feelings on the matter. Non the less I would suck it up and go.
Wow who the hell does that hella wierd just dont go tell her thanks no thanks. Go find something else for you yr kids to do …let her have fun with yr ex. And his girl friend …
If you’re not comfortable, then don’t go. I know it’s gotta be hard, but I’d let the kids go regardless. But honestly, Disney World is big enough to keep distance between you & your ex.
Go and have fun with your kids,just don’t mind them…besides u are atmost right to be there because it was your parents celebration anyway…,
Dads and moms need to be invited anywhere they can if things are amicable. Kids need to see their parents interacting and showing respect.
Be adults. Respect each other and do it for the kids. Co parent… Alot of ppl do it. (Long as there is no past abuse that the divorce was mutual… And his gf was not who he left you for ect… )
Jou ma is wrong … kry ma vir jou n side piece en vat hom saam
Dismantling your discomfort goes a long way toward healing.
That’s a family trip. I would be livid if my ex took our son to Disney without me. Even though I dont like being around him, I would suck it up and deal with it for the sake of my kids. That’s an experience you don’t want to miss. Primary parent or not. It’s time to either bite your tongue or learn to coparent better.
Then don’t go. Your mum needs to respect you. For your sanity, don’t go.
Grow up you gonna have to get used to it y’all have children together
If your on decent terms i say go its nice when parents no longer together can do those things with their kids and its even better when one side of the family or both is totally cool with it.
I mean of the separation was extremely bitter then I would see a problem … You haven’t found someone else yet. He has. I’m picking up on vibes your not happy he’s happy. But this trip isn’t about you it’s about your parents 30th wedding anniversary and Sharing it with people they love and care about. They obviously have a good relationship with you ex. Just because you divorced him doesn’t mean they have to totally let go. Idk there’s alot of mixed emotions going on here. Let your kids have fun.
It will be awkward but it’s their trip and they are paying donuts their choice who goes! Plus you have children together and should be able to put things aside for them! My parents both remarried right away after divorce and put all that ugliness aside because it was about us and not them! I did the same with my c husband as well! I guess if you have a problem then don’t go but let them take the kids
It’s called CO-PARENTING!!! Be a great mom and co parent. Go have fun and enjoy yourself and your kids. No reason your ex shouldn’t be able to go and enjoy his kids at Disney.
Let the kids go with the ex,but Must leave girlfriend home! That will be confusing as shit, it’s hard for us adults to understand! No girlfriend! That’s just Nuts! You and your kids go with YOUR MOM!
Then say to your mother “well a good thing X and Girlfriend X is going, someone will be there to look after the kids. I’m not going.”
Wow she’s a nice mum, I simply wouldn’t go
Sorry your Mom put u in an awkward position! Can u ask her why she did that? She should choose u and your kids over your ex and his GF! It’s also a shame you and your kids would miss out on Disney should u choose to not go! What are the accommodations? Will u each have your own hotel room, or are u sharing a big house?
You could be in the middle of a bunch of fighting and bickering. Unless he cheated with the GF I would go and enjoy with Family.
It’s going to bring your kids happiness that you both are going and everyone is happy. It’s life. Learn to accept her little by little. 
Honestly i would suck it up and enjoy it. My son’s father and i along with his wife and my s/o have a great relationship. We have been on double dates, we have gone to events together ect ect… I have found feelings being put aside and the children having fun is what matters most. I feel SO grateful to have the relationship i do with them. We all feel like we are one big family. Me and my ex talk about sports, our son and he asks about my daughter. His wife and i talk and i ask about their son, she calls him her bonus son which i am totally ok with and we make plans. I honestly wouldn’t want it any other way. I love what we have and to be honest i wouldn’t change it. My son’s father is a good friend of mine and we are friends who had a kid. Our relationship was ugly but that doesn’t mean we need to be like that with our son involved… That being said it is all on you
I would go, you have to parent as a team. It’s not that bad, i have went to functions with my husbands ex wife
This is so wrong what they did but, you could have him and his girlfriend do all the hard work with the kids?
Once someone is family. They are family. If you are the only person that has a problem and no one else. That is a reflection of you and something you need to work through. It’s your mom and dad’s celebration. They can invite whomever they like and that maturity is healthy for your children.
My daughter is now 10. Her dad moved on quickly, remarried and they have a beautiful baby girl. I was busy working and finishing college, so my love came later. We co-parent well and his now wife is one of my closest friends. You have a choice to grow. It will do wonders for the kids.
It’s hard to move on from something you were once so sure about. Hate, bitterness, lack of respect will never make things better.
Good luck. I hope you find some peace.
My ex and his wife come to all my family functions because it is all about my kids not me and he has been invited for 19 years our 2 children are adults now and let me tell you they are happy we were able to get along for them
This trip is about your parents’ anniversary, not about YOU.
Your parents are obviously comfortable with your ex and they want him there.
Grow up.
Grow up and go be a adult not a child do it for your children
It isnt about you. You have kids with your ex. Your issues with your ex dont have anything to do with your parents or your kids.
It is their anniversary and they can invite who they want to celebrate with them. Look beyond yourself and see what it would mean to your kids and your parents and put your big girl pants on.
Go enjoy the trip or let your kids go and you stay home with your pride.
My family is very clear if you want my ex there I will not attend your event so you decide. I have had no issues
Here’s what i say. Go. I know it will be hard and awkward. But if we’re gonna err, err on the side that did. Not in the side that just stayed home. The whole trip doesn’t have to be bad. You will have your children, your sister, your aunt and uncle to help in harder moments. Just be in charge of your emotions and manage yourself. If a moment is too overwhelming, take a breather and walk somewhere else. And under NO circumstances do you allow anyone to shame you for feeling hurt by this situation. It is natural to be saddened by your ex moving on. It’s a normal part of the grieving of loss. You’re allowed to take the time needed for you. If nothing else, make them respect that. Good luck to you.
Just bc she’s ur mom it dsnt mean u have go and put up with an uncomfortable situation. For those that think that it’s ur moms choice to bring who she wants, it is also ur choice not to attend bc it is UR mom whom isn’t worried about u being uncomfortable. Simple. Y does he have to come? Better yet y does the girlfriend have to come? R they that important to ur mom? Even over ur happiness at the moment? Stay behind. Whether u r happy for him or not it’s irrelevant. Dnt allow anyone to make u feel bad. If he wants to really spend time with the kids in Disney he can take them himself.
Be an adult and go. The trip isn’t about you!
That’s actually just so selfish on ur end to not be adult enough to allow ur kids to enjoy disney with mom AND dad co-parenting without acting like children about it. Find someone to keep you distracted that youd be able to enjoy ur time with and not make it a salty encounter. Life is what YOU make it. You make it weird and awkward its gonna be weird and awkward. My ex and I get along so well as well as our partners. Cause it’s about the kids, NOT us. Ur parents still built a relationship with him and it’s their day, not urs. If you dont wanna go dont but dont be that salty mom who deprives an opportunity like this from the kid because ur bitter. Thats just wrong. See if you can get someone who will take ur mind off it to go with you.
I’m okay with my parents inviting my ex husband because he will always be part of my family no matter what because of course we used to be married and most importantly we have children. But, I don’t get it why the new girlfriend must be invited in my parent’s anniversary. Can’t we just be family like how we used to for the kids without other people? I’m okay with blended family if my ex husband and the new woman has child of their own but blending must happen in our own time not with my PARENT’S anniversary which is something personal to me. What kind of parents think otherwise.
If you are not comfortable then don’t go. Let the kids go, and let the ex and his new gf take care of the kids. Take the time they in Disney for yourself and do something YOU will enjoy. Life is too short to fake a smile when you want to cry. If your parents are cool like that, and don’t care you are in a awkward situation, then I’m sure they won’t mind you taking some ME time while they hang out with everyone else.
Sorry you have to deal with your mom choosing to include him over you. I am estranged from my family now due to their interference with my son, and they went to my ex behind my back. She refers to him as her son in law, and thinks more of him than me. so I realize the hurt you feel.
Very disrespectful of your parents. The problems associated with this are the strained moments that would otherwise be joy. I’m sorry you are dealing with this. A talk with your parents is in order.
No way on Earth would I go, not me, not my kids, even if we were on speaking terms… just No.
Pretty sad! My Family would probably do the same type of thing, disrespectful, Pure BS IMO
He was their son in law. It’s ok to be upset about it, but he’s their family too.
Your mom.invited your kids father to go spend time with yalls kids. Wtf is wrong with you. You would.punish your kids because you describe this man as your ex instead of your kids dad. stfu let the kids enjoy a free trip. And you stay your lil childish ass home
I wouldn’t go. Her trip. Her choice who she invites. Your right to decline the invitation. Only I’d consider letting the kids go. If you don’t they will paint you as the bad guy. Besides, you don’t want your x and the new victim to have a care free vay kay do you? 
Without you there to do it all the kids will wear your mom out too…
Meanwhile you stay home and post pics of your relaxing free time. 
My mom openly hated my dad and wouldn’t go to anything where he would be if she didn’t HAVE to. I have no fond memories of family anything and I grew up and eloped, gave up my dream wedding, so that I didn’t have to deal with the divorced parent drama.
Get over yourself. This isn’t just about you. Your kids will remember this trip forever.
They’ll also remember if you’re the one who ruins it.
If you aren’t ok with it, don’t go. No reason that the kids can’t. Co-parenting is hard and though you aren’t ready, you will have to accept that he’s moved on and your kids will be around whoever he wants. You can’t stop him from showing up at school events or extracurricular activities and or decide who can come with him. It’s terrible that your own Mother is not understanding of your feelings but the best thing to do is let it go and live your best life. You can’t do that bitter.
Sounds like you’re not done with the marriage in your mind. Find a way to wish him well. Your children will do better if they see well-adjusted parents that can get along. Don’t your kids deserve that? Plus you don’t get to decide other people’s plans, and if you are of a mind to offer ultimatums then you are choosing to withdraw yourself from the festivities. In time all this will get less awkward for you.
As hard as it is I never made an issue about anything involving my son’s father being present anyplace with myself, it wasnt about me, your children love their father, and I was grateful my son’s father was present in his life because mine wasnt and I remembered what that felt like.
Telling her to go, or grow up voids her emotion. Just because she had kids with her ex husband doesn’t take away her grief of the divorce, she’s hurt and it’s valid. Unless they have a bloody smooth no hard feeling divorce, It’s insensitive to invite her ex, it’s downright disrespectful to pay for his new gf(wtf?!). There’s always a choice to make things less awkward, where they can easily don’t invite them at all, but this… Instead of having their daughter’s back, it’s like go out of the way to hurt her more.
Thst is so unbelievable rude. Don’t go, and she think your ex and his girlfriend are more important to her,well there you go…she love them more…but she will learn the consequences
If your ex is the father of your kids, then go
Your mom should have talked to you first.
I think its extremely odd that your mom would invite them without okaying it with you 1st hand. Co parenting and getting along for the sake of the kids is one thing, but this seems like something that should be more of a family matter. You have every right to not feel okay with that situation, but maybe you should think hard about keeping the kids home. I’m sure that would be an amazing trip for them, but I could certainly see why it would be uncomfortable for you. No matter what it’s your choice.
Get a man, get some dick, drink some tequila eat some tacos and do your thing. Go. Don’t let bullshit phase you.
Guy might be being petty by bringing his girlfriend… but she’s being even more petty by denying the kids an amazing trip cuz she’s jealous and bitter
Suck it up. Why are you making the trip all about your exhusband and his new dick licker? Go to enjoy your parents and enjoy your kids at Disney world. Don’t be so petty.
I’ll cut her off for a while. Might sound selfish but it sounds like it’s bothering you and she should respect that. She shouldn’t ever feel his presence is just as important as yours.
Oh heck no!
Those are your parents.
I know I wouldn’t do it!
Terrible decision on your mother’s part. Maybe she’s trying to get you back with your ex by giving him a chance to compare the two women in his life. Personally I wouldn’t go and she wouldn’t be seeing me or my kids for a very long time.
It happens…but ask ur kids what they want…and if they want to be with their dad then u should go too for their happiness
Yes she shouldn’t deny her kids the trip. Tell her to let her kids go without her, not tell her to grow up, suck it up and shit. Imagine your family PAY someone who obviously had beef with you to be there to annoy u? It’s not only insensitive, it’s sadistic now
For me it was inconsiderate of your mum to invite your ex and his whatever. I wouldn’t go either.
Send the kids. And u do something different.
Suck it up for the kids. Honestly.
Been divorced for a year and its still awkward to be around eachother 
. Idk how long you were with him but your parents probably still consider him family. Stop making it about you. Its about your parents. They are also PAYING for you and your kids to go. What the hell.
If you go… Just don’t do this!!!
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Oh Hell No! They are Her parents; not his. I would keep the kids and myself home. Maybe go on our own little vacation. It won’t be Disney; but the kids are young, and will get over it. I would rethink my relationship with my parents. There doesn’t seem to be Boundaries.
Unless it was abuse in some way, go and use it as an opportunity to show your kids that mom and dad can be cordial to each other. You’re stuck together like it or not. It may hurt a bit, but figure out why it’s this bad after a year.
My ex husband ended up my best friend. That first year was rough, but his girlfriend convinced us to get our heads out if our asses for our kid. After we did that, we realized we are still friends, we just weren’t compatible when it comes to a romantic relationship. Looks like your ex husband already realizes that.
Stupid. Lol. I’m sorry, but I’m just not with this “Progressive/Co-parenting” sh** that everyone’s all jumping on board with. I totally understand your dilemma & I’d be pissed if my parents invited my kids’ dad to spend a weekend, a day, etc., for a very personal event–GF or not!! LMFAO. Some Ex’s LITERALLY live to put you through hell & any opportunity they get to turn that knife or create a wedge, they’ll go for it. Truth is, it’s hella weird–no matter what anyone on here says about being selfish or whatever. They’re YOUR PARENTS, Not HIS! Ha! I respect my parents & love them dearly, but I would have no problem telling them that I disagree with their request. You would think they would’ve taken your feelings into consideration & asked for your input, if they truly want you to be there with them. On the other hand, it is a big park & you really would not have to see your X most of the day. Plus, you could spend a wonderful time with your Bebe’s. Hell, take a Date!! Haha. Either way, enjoy yourself for you–not what everyone tells you to do. Good Luck 
I absolutely looooove the comments…“stop making it about you” (eyeroll) well…the divorce was about you. Both. Hurt feelings and heartache takes time to heal. I believe if my mother invited an ex an his new gf on a big fam trip without even asking me how i would feel about it…or at least reacting with some damn compassion when I asked her about it…i would seriously be beside myself. Shit takes time to heal. Most parents definitely want to learn how to coparent but if this is new and fresh wounds i can see why it would sting. Talk to mom again. Ask her her motive and train of thought. Hopefully it was as innocent as thinking everyone can enjoy time with the kids and she realized they would get both parents if she invited the new gf too. Children do better seeing their parents well adjusted to the new change. They deserve mama and daddy being happy. To those that say the trip isnt about you…well…it is partly about you. You are mom. Think long and hard. Look at your children. And make the best choice you can that fits what YOU can handle. Sending love
Advice… don’t listen to any of these comments. Women will tell u to do things that they wouldn’t or couldn’t if faced with the same situation. If you’re honest with yourself… u already know what to do.
This is not about you its about your mom an dad you an your ex broke up not your ex an them sorry butter cup life is not about you so grow up an put on you big girl pants an go have fun an be a adult if you can. Oh ps if my child ever thought I should ask their permission for me to pay for a trip I sure would nerve pay for one for them again.
I would skip it. It’s already getting complicated and this will only add on to it. It’s apparent that your parents are disregarding your opinion. You can always take your kids on your own.
Go with your gut feeling.
Skip it.
Obvs now why they’ve divorced 
Sounds like she wants the family together. Even if you two broke up, he is the father of your children. Family.
I think this is a lot less about being bitter or jealous, or even selfish to keep the kids from this trip…and more on the subject of mental health. We dont know why they divorced and its very possible that she isnt in am emotionally stable mindset…divorce is not the same as simply breaking up with a gf or bf. At this point its not about the kids or the new gf… She has to consider her mental /emotional health. Too often are we moms asked to forego ourselves for the sake of the kids and if we’re being real…its not healthy. I had to learn this myself and still am getting the hang of it but all in all…WE come first…not so much our kids. Simply because if we are running empty, whats there left to give our children? I had my first young at 18 and i always sacrificed myself in basically every aspect to ensure things for my baby…so much so that my ,now fiance, had to point out i was doing them NO good by running myself ragged. My advice is this, seriously think this through and see if you are emotionally/mentally stable enough to go for your kids, not if your just uncomfortable. If the answer is no, then Heres a few options… Send the kids with the family,their dad will be there anyways right?. Or, dont go, plan something else with your babies or take them to disney on your own. But either way, id evaluate your relationship with your parents…toxic ppl are toxic ppl no matter their role in your life. If it was just the ex id get it but the gf seems like a bit too much…if she was his wife that would be different but thats my opinion…i wish you the best
Let him, his girl and your kids go. You sit out. This maybe a once in a lifetime experience for your kids (or not idk your situation). If your mom invited him then 
cut her off but don’t not let your kids go.
That’s nice of the parents to treat. Wish them all well. You’ve already told her you weren’t going. Celebrate them when they get back. It’s your choice. Co-parenting or not…I don’t think I’d want to go. It takes time to adjust and it’s only been a year. It took me until my daughter was a teen to be able to co-parent. Now I’m so happy we had that time as a family (Disneyland trip, sleepovers, family meals…etc) because my daughter’s father passed when she was 15. In time you will have a new man and want to invite him to functions and all will be well. But for now, follow your heart. Stay home. Less stress and not being uncomfortable. If I were the new GF I would stay my ass at home. Good luck with YOUR choice!!!
read so much negative views. i wouldn’t be comfortable if my ex or his girl friend around
why cant they only invite ex husband not his girlfriend if its abt kids
Sounds like your mom did this to hurt you. Could there be some hidden animosity between mom and you? It’s just totally disrespectful for her to invite him and the girlfriend. Don’t go save yourself the embarrassment and stay home and enjoy yourself. This would forever change the level of respect I had for my mom.
Well, you’ve expressed your concern over it to no avail. Next step…don’t go. I’m not going on a trip that should be meant for family with my ex and his new woman. Call me childish and selfish but it just wouldn’t happen.
Even if the divorce was a smooth one and most are not there are facts we don’t know here like was he cheating? Was he cheating with new girlfriend? Did he give her an STD? How long were they married? Was there physical, mental, or financial abuse. Does he see the kids when he is supposed to? Does he pay child support like he’s supposed to? And as a mother I would not invite the ex if my child was still hurting without talking to her first and getting her input and then maybe. But his new girlfriend…HELL NO. Not as her mother and definitely knowing how she is feeling. And if my mother chose to invite my ex and his girlfriend then let them go if they are more important than how I feel and I would take my kids to Disney World on my own or in cooperation with my ex at a later date if we were getting along. And for the record I was divorced with a 2 & 3 year old because he was cheating and gave me chlamydia and they didn’t think I would ever be able to have anymore children with out intervention plus he didn’t see the kids when he was supposed to or pay child support and got into drugs and alcohol so his visits were supervised. The first year was the worst. He and I both moved on in the 2/3 year and our friendship came back in degrees over the next 4 years and not only did we coparent with our new spouses but I baby sat their son at 6 weeks and then their daughter at 5 days and whom I also named (long story but her name is Misty Dawn) until they were old enough to not need a babysitter anymore even before or after school. We did family BBQ’s and Church together. Plus we have family photos of her two sons , our two daughters, their son and daughter and my daughter from my second marriage as well as the parents. Unusual yes. Unique yes. But it took time and healing and her mom is out of line in this. And yes I have son in laws I dearly love and some not so much because of cheating, physical or mental abuse and/or controlling with my daughters. Some I could invite others not unless my daughter(s) was comfortable with it and then I might have to bite my tongue but there would be no new girlfriends there period.
RENT A BOYFRIEND …Disney is mostly about the kids and I’m sure if you talk to the EX you can split time with the kid there and not have to do it together. Figure out time and split off to do your thing inside the park. Get a Boyfriend by then and bring him along also. No reason to be alone if you can have a guy there. See if the dynamics change if you want to bring a boyfriend…guessing some may back out. FIRE WITH FIRE, sometimes the best message is to give it a reality check with real people. If mom refuses to pay for a boyfriend then it’s not about the kids, she’s trying to get you 2 back together. Test the waters and suggest different things…even a separate trip to Disney without the ex and his girlfriend, pay for a different trip for them with the kids. Don’t be afraid to ask her if the goal is to get your e back with you. Sometimes you have to dig for the reason behind things. Don’t threaten to pull the kids and you out of the trip, just do it.
Let them go and take the kids. Do your own thing. Go to Miami bihhhhhhhh and look at them nice Cuban tings…
Well in this case I would suggest you to let the kids go and u stay am pretty sure the other adults will care take and u will stay home and give yo self a treat.
He is your ex…get over him he has moved on, so should you,.the invite is for the kids not him or you