Not sure of the circumstances of your divorce so it would be hard to say if it’s right or wrong. Your mom should’ve thought of you first in any case. Does his family invite you to their get togethers? Is an was he abusive In any way to you? Without really knowing your situation no one on here should be calling you a bitter bitch, selfish, or immature, or telling you to grow up an get over it. That’s not support, it’s just being damn rude. Do what’s best for you an your kid.
Nope. No way. Tell yourvMlm, ever so politely, that you can go or he can go.
Invite a friend for yourself!!
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I think inviting a girlfriend (not a wife) is really messed up. Most of the time people
Break up. That’s not your child’s mom or step mom. It’s not family. Inviting your ex is a different story but inviting the girlfriend?? Weird.
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This is the best thing for your kids to have fun experiences with both parents and see you guys “getting along” it’s for the kids has nothing to do with you or your ex.
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Dont allow your ex to ruin it for you and your kids. You dont necessarily have to have meals together or hang out together. Go do your own thing. And if you do end up all together, which is bound to happen, put on your best smile and show them their presence doesn’t bother you! You are the only person who can “allow” them to bother you. Dont let them! Your are better and stronger then that! Have fun!!
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I absolutely would not go if the new girlfriend goes. My mother would never disrespect me and invite my ex. My parents are still nice to him and appreciate what he does for me and my girls but he is no longer part of my family.
I would not go and my children would not go either. Obviously your mom could care less about your feelings.
You and the kids should still go. Its messed up your mom even invited him but whatever. Go do your own thing with the kids, you don’t have to hang with them 24/7. When it’s time to all be together just keep it simple and smile.
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Just because you and your husband divorced does not mean he is out of your life. You share children. Birthdays, holidays, graduations, weddings, grandbabies, and on and on. You don’t have to be besties, just be civil and show your kids what a class act you can be. My parents did it and that is a legacy that will never be forgotten. Disney is a big place. You don’t have to be up each other’s butts!
Your mom and ex don’t care how you feel but for your kids it’ll be a fun thing to do. Go
Like it or not, you have kids with this man. He is going to be in your life forever. Don’t punish your children because of your own jealousy
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This is only my opinion so people don’t need to freak out. I think you should grow up and suck it up for your child’s sake. Is it gonna be fun for you probably not is it gonna be easy for you probably not but none of that matters what matters is your child and that he gets to go with both parents and that he has a good time. His feelings need to be number one not yours or your exes or his girlfriend.
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Well if it is his girfriend hen he shoulnt bring her
Apparently you and your mom have to talk about stuff in general.
I was married for 19 yrs it was hard for my mom to let go of my husband and the idea of my marriage.
Your kids will not get why they couldn’t go to Disney but you do understand why you aren’t going?
Just let go, allow your kids and mom and whoever else is going, go.
By now you know you won’t change anyone’s mind and boundaries seem to be an issue in your family.
Just let go and let your mom just do as she pleases, the consequences will be enough, for her.
You will have time to yourself and your kids will be happy with your mom and their dad.
You left this man because he doesn’t get what you need, right?
Don’t expect him to understand now?
Boundaries!!! Maintain boundaries.
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In my opinion, I think you should consider it, simply because it would be good for the kids to see Mom and Dad and their entire family together. And that is a memory the kids will always have.
My baby daddy and his girlfriend and I go out to dinner, with my daughter, we all get along, but we don’t do it for us, we do it for my child. She loves having all of us together
Hell, I wanna keep most of the ex’s, lol. I’m a straightforward person. I have had plenty of kid issues. They come home married, (or something real fast )& demand I accept the spouse they choose, then when I do, they pull someshit and then I’m surposed to side with them? No.
I suggest if your that upset over it, don’t go. How dare anyone expect you to tolerate a man YOU had kids with. You can explain why mommy was a ass and refused to go cause daddy was going to be there. All you.
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You seem like you dont want your childs father to share these memories with your children. You are putting your children in front of your feelings. Why dont you ask them to see if they have a problem with the idea. Co parenting is rough but never uses your children as pawns in thr bickering.
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To even things; you bring a date.
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Ooh no, too weird. Also as a parent, why would you have your ex son in laws back over your own daughter and grandchildren (unless some major fallout etc). You’re definitely right to stand your ground.
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Stop thinking about how you feel and think about how much your children will enjoy having both of their parents to share this experience with. Speaking from experience, it is something the my children will never forget!!
That’s a Wicked thing to do I’m sorry that’s not even his wife that’s his girlfriend seems like your mom don’t care about your feelings at all that’s just messed up for your mom to do smh not even your own mom can have your back. I mean it would be great for the kids to go to Disneyland and enjoyed themselves, but if they been before I won’t go I’m sorry. I want to be comfortable on a trip not uncomfortable.
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Your mom is messy as hell. What type of parent invites the ex and and her girl? If he goes his ass is just ass messy. For your own peace of mind skip the trip. If your attendance was important your feelings would’ve been considere a lot more 
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Rise above. Go and watch your kid be happy… stay away from your ex and his new gf. When your kid goes to bed, excuse yourself and do something fun on your own.
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Just go and have a good time.
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It her decision who to invite. If you disagree with her choices you should not attend. Of course your children will be heartbroken. So, the question is if he’s you ex, he’s still the father of your children whether he has a new girlfriend or not. Be the bigger person here. Take your children, when you see/meet the new girlfriend, walk up stick your hand out and say " I’m (whatever you name is) and say it’s nice to meet you. It’s not necessary for there to be rancor between you two.Smile, take the time to get to know her. She’s going to be spending time with your children. Shame the devil by being a totally mature, in control woman. Believe it or not, she may become one of your good friends. Get past your feelings of jealousy or bitterness and be the better woman. Children can’t have too many people in their lives that love them. I have always been friends, and sometimes roommates with an ex’s girlfriend or new wife. I have always made sure the people around my children don’t promote negative feelings. If you do this your children are seeing what an excellent role model their mom is. Please consider this plan of action, my children are now 31, 28, and nineteen. My nineteen year old has autism. I give his father every opportunity to go to our family functions and functions important to my son. I’m remarried and before I married I told my fiance this is how it is.
My 2 cents, I am sorry for your pain and it is still new. No one can tell you how to act or feel. I have been divorced for many years and I can still remember some of the awkward and painful moments. It’s one thing to do sports and one day events with your Kid’s dad and it’s another thing to spend a vacation with him plus one. True it was disappointing that your mom thought that it was okay to do this without talking about it with you first. But for some reason this is important to her that he is there. The gf not so much. He should be able to go on vacation with just his kids and not her. So my suggestion would be to let the kids go with grandma and dad and you find something to do for yourself. Trust me alone time is important and you know they are with family. Breathe you got this. People who haven’t been divorced and was the one left behind may not necessarily truly understand the swing of emotions that happens until the heart catches up. Btw, my mil would invite me to family functions if he wasn’t going for a number of years until we were ready to be in the same room. But never on vacation.
Tell her your kids and you are not going if he and new gf does… petty yes but shes disrespectful of you.
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This is the father of your children and thier possible future stepmother. Your parents had a relationship with him and loved/possibly still love him. It’s your parents anniversary they are allowed to invite and PAY for whomever they choose. Why is this not ok with you?
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That’s ridiculous. I could see if it were just your ex, and you needed help with the kids. But that’s not the case, your parents have major boundary issues. Your ex should drop out. His gf should reach out to you, to make sure you are fine with this. If you are not fine with it–they should not even want to go. Now you have to decide if it will be worth missing. If you will be uncomfortable, you better believe it will be worth missing. You tell your parents that. Shame on them.
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Let the kids go with grandparents. You and the father stay home.
My opinion… How are you going to explain to your children why they can’t go because you got issues? This isn’t about you, it’s about your parents celebrating and their choice of who they want to join them. Be the bigger person, set aside your feelings and enjoy the experience with your kids. Someday they will be old enough to understand just how hard this was for you, but you did it anyway, for love.
I am APPALLED by the lack of empathy in the comments on this thread toward this mother. She is clearly surrounded by people (her mother, ex-husband) who have absolutely no concept of boundaries or care about her feelings at all.
A divorce is a traumatic experience. THIS MAN is the SOURCE of that trauma. None of us here know what happened in this divorce. He could have been an abuser. Maybe he cheated on her. Maybe he kicked her out of the house, and tried to take her children away. Whatever, it doesn’t matter. If she doesn’t want to see him, she shouldn’t have to see him. This isn’t a high school or college graduation, and it’s not her child’s wedding, or her grandchild’s first birthday. Those events, they only happen once for the kids. This is not something she should have to “suck up” for the kids. Disney World isn’t going anywhere.
And honestly, if her mother–the one person in this whole mess who should have the OP’s back, who should be loyal to her daughter over anyone else–thinks it is OK to invite the OP’s ex-husband on this trip, then it sounds to me like mom might be a little toxic, too.
The OP needs to prioritize her emotional and mental well-being both for herself and so that she can be the best mom to her kids. And being forced to spend a vacation with her ex-husband and his new girlfriend clearly won’t be a good thing her her while she is still trying to heal.
And frankly, given this situation and the way her mother and ex-husband have completely disregarded her feelings and boundaries-which are completely reasonable-I think she is completely reasonable to say that the children aren’t going without her. At this point, if I was her, I wouldn’t trust either her mom or ex-husband as far as I could throw them. Now, depending on the custody arrangement, she might not be able to prevent the father from taking them on the trip, if the trips dates fall on his days.
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Go, you’ve divorced him for a reason. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be amiable and friends for your kids sake. He’s their father and getting along is the best for the kids. Besides it’s your parents anniversary. Its a milestone for them, you never know what tomorrow may bring. You don’t have to hang out with your ex.
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You have just as much a right to make a choice here as anyone else. Your mom and ex have made a choice. Now you get to make the choice that is best for you. If you don’t want to go, then don’t. I have been in a similar situation w an estranged family member and I made it clear that we all have choices. You are not a prisoner of their choices so do what is best for yourself.
Girl get your free vacation on!! Take those passes and go do your own thing! No reason to hang out with everyone. This is your family and they shouldn’t be there, but take the opportunity and leave the kids with him for a day and go take care of you. Stay in the hotel, go visit other places!! I’d be taking a me vacation if they wanted to show up. I get that we’re supposed to coparent, but you’re also allowed to not want them there.
If that was me im staying home period me and my kids i wouldn’t say another word and let her purchase what she want for whoever she want its her money sorry to say i would completely cut her off as if she never existed and she would understand and feel it in the end I wouldn’t say another word about it im also so sad ur going threw this from ur own parent
I can understand you opting out if you’re uncomfortable, but why would you force you kids to give up a vacation with the rest of their entire family including their father?
To me, there are too many details left out to be able to fully help you move forward with this. Each and every variable could change the expected outcome and response entirely. Was the divorce something like two friends grew apart? Did someone cheat? Was the girlfriend part of the divorce? Because if it was just irreconcilable differences, you’re being a little selfish. If he cheated with this girlfriend, it’s entirely understandable. If you cheated, why are you even upset?
As for why he’s still part of your parents life, again, too many unknowns. How long were you guys married? It IS their celebration, and they are allowed to invite whomever they want to their party. Are they doing it for the kids? Have you even discussed it with the kids to see how they feel about it? Do the kids also want their family vacation to include their whole family?
It’s a complicated situation no matter how you slice it, and no one should make you feel cornered or backed into doing anything you don’t want to do, but unless he’s abusive, dangerous, or hurtful to your children, I think this issue is solely your own and you shouldn’t force them to bow out simply because you don’t want to be around your ex anymore. You may have divorced him, but they didn’t. He’s still their father and will be a part of their lives for the rest of his, which is something you’re going to need to come to terms with if you want this to be the best for the kids.
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Put your foot down. It will ruin your memories even if you try not to let it bother you. How would she like to be put in that situation?
is the Ex you have issue with or the GF?
Wtf that’s so awkward that’s a fuck no from me bout ur ex n his Girlfriend what’s ur mother onn!wanna 3some or some shit fuck those 1s no respect for u there own daughter
That shit jus gonna make u Cray Cray how r u ment to enjoy ur family vacation with ur ex n gf
It’s only a problem if YOU make it a problem. Not everyone has to be fighting with their baby daddies jeez. Maybe u should stay home and let everyone else go and have fun 🤷🏼
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me personally id let the kids go and stay home and relax. disney world is great n all but being around people who don’t respect how you feel ain’t worth it. don’t matter who it is. maybe you can tough it out but that’s a disaster waiting to happen
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I wouldn’t enjoy being there with them or at the same time. What does your mother have against you? Truthfully, it’s an earthquake before a volcanic eruption. Remove yourself and your children. Do you trust anybody in that group to look after them, properly?
Your mom sucks amd your ex has 0 boundaries and if they go…thats just weird.
Your mom has 0 loyalty to you at all. WOW.
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Either don’t go or learn to mingle. I can’t say much because I don’t knew ur situation with ur ex. But if u get along just try this out. Good luck
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Dont go. Maybe your mom will get the picture.
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You don’t have a man yet right?
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Your mom should not put you in that situation why is she even inviting your ex with his girlfriend that makes no sense
Honestly, i would not go. She’s your mom not his. That is weird and if your not comfortable you will not enjoy the trip anyway. I’d just not go.
you’re the problem. then don’t go there. it’s not your special day being celebrated anyway.
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I can understand not being ready but in the end it’s better for the kids if everyone can be in the same space together and get along. I’ve been here, and it’s hard. If there were no kids I’d have a different answer.
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My Dad and step mom managed to become friends after their divorce. Any family get together my step mom and her husband are always invited. Everyone gets along great. Maybe you and your kids should go. It’s not fair to them. You got to get along for your kids.
I wouldn’t go but I’m petty af soooo…
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So it’s your PARENT’S anniversary, YOUR kids will be there having a ball, and this is about you and your feelings? Maybe you should think about the fact that’s it’s your parent’s choice, it would be wonderful for your children to see their parents having the maturity to co-parent without being married and that you have accepted the fact that you are indeed divorced and he has moved on. Put your kids ahead of your feelings.
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Evrything else aside I would NOT RECOMMEND punishing your kids by not allowing them to go, if you dont. That’s a punk ass move.
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Did your Mother and your ex get along? I know you don’t like the idea of your mom inviting your ex and his new gf, I’m sure that would be an uncomfortable situation for you and her too, I’m sure. Try, to be the bigger person, for your children. Let them see, that even though you and your ex are not together, that you two can get along. In the long run, your kid’s will appreciate it later on in life. I have 3 adult children who can tell you how important this is. My ex and I remained friends after we split for our children. When he had a new gf, I got along with them. We celebrated birthdays and holiday’s together also, his gf, would come to my house with her kid’s, we( my children and got them a gift.) Trust me, it was awkward at first, but after time, it became natural. I had other friends tell me I was crazy for being decent to my ex and gf, even her kid’s. I would tell them… yes, it is different, but seeing my children happy and content makes me happy( even if it makes me uncomfortable sometimes) my kid’s are now 25, 23 and 21 and they still thank me for the way my relationship with their dad and his gf is and they never felt like they were stuck in the middle of our problems or they didn’t have to choose sides. Best wishes to you and your family.
If your ex has plans on marrying this young lady or they live together then i think it’s okay that way you can see how the kid’s interact with her, i would welcome the help of the new mate if the kid’s do well with her.
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I divorced my kids dad and i got remarried and every year me and my new husband would still do stuff and spend Christmas with my ex husbands entire family, i know writes right? LOL You shouldn’t be so upset about it to be honest. My ex husbands new wife was kinda of like you and she refused to come over if I was there she refused to celebrate Christmas and I wasn’t going no where, and I’m still not, she can get with the program or miss out! At least your parents are GROWN and can put stuff behind them and try to bring everyone together for the kids!!! Life is too short to be angry because your ex and his new girlfriend were invited.
Clearly ur mom doesn’t respect u
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Don’t over think it, it actually won’t be anything like you have portrayed it to be thus far. Once the moment arrives that you are all together, you’ll look back and realise the time you spent dwelling and debating was simply just time wasted.
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Don’t let them ruin your fun!
I wonder if he was invited after the divorce. If so , then if you are that comfortable around him , I really think you should rethink going . Your family must have a good relationship with him. I totally understand and If it was me I wouldn’t go because o don’t want the drama . Your mom I believe should have considered your feelings .
Yeah I wouldn’t even go that’s messed up… I’d be so mad at my mom.
Just because you may be uncomfortable you would deny your children? Go! Go for you, go for them. No one says you have to spend time with the ex and girlfriend all the time!! I just went myself in the beginning of December…you will regret not talking the opportunity! It’s not something you can do all the time as it IS expensive!!
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It is not your anniversary… it is your parents. Don’t like who they invite than don’t go or pull up your big girl panties and act like an adult.
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Don’t ruin this trip for your kids. It may be awkward for you but if your kids see their father and know his new girlfriend well then let them enjoy the trip.
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Some things in life simply are not “surrounded around us”, what we want shouldn’t matter. This is your parents anniversary, and they want their grandbabies to have an amazing experience WITH BOTH OF THEIR PARENTS. I understand the girlfriend and how that could be hard. YET, quit being petty and insecure. If you want nothing to do with him and divorced him, he’s free to live his life. Put your kids first, parents first, and SMILE! It’s the happiest place on Earth.
Your mom sounds like a jerk. If you don’t go, don’t mention it to your kids so they don’t miss out.
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He’s the father of your kids he has a right to be there. It’s your parents anniversary so they also have the right to invite who they want especially if it’s their money.
I would not deprive my children for not going I will let them go but I will not be going with my ex-husband and his girlfriend that’s a No-No
Your mom is just like mine ZERO loyalty…
Disgusting!
It’s gonna be a Hell nah…for me!
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Honestly I don’t see the problem. You and him are already divorce. But him you and the kids are not. So what if he has a girlfriend that will be around your guys kids. Personally I would want to know how she gonna behave with my kids. After she is with him now and you would want to know how she acts around them. Also girl grow up and think of the big picture. You have to share the kids with him for the rest of their life. You may not like it but they are his kids too. Theirs birthday holidays summer family events. And girl if you having problems now with sharing this one events with him and a girlfriend. Then you shouldn’t go but the kids should go. Cause you thinking of yourself and acting selfish. If you and him didn’t work out that on you and him not the kids. Put your big girl panties and do the rite thing your mom isn’t wrong for inviting him or whoever he is with. The anniversary isn’t your is your mom so just go you may learn something. Stop being narrow minded. Sorry but if it was me I would want my kids to enjoy the event especially if it was with family. PLEASE GO NOTHING SHOULD PREVENT YOU FROM DOING THINGS WITH FAMILY PLUS ONE.
What’s the problem here? Sounds like you’re not going. (You said it yourself)
U must have unresolved issues with the ex. Get it together.
I dont see the issue…your divorced. He has the right to move on. You have children together. Which you share responsibility for till the are of legal age. Clearly joined custody if he was invited. If his gf is no harm to your children then she is gonna be part of their life. You are clearly not capable of being an adult for your kids and punishing them. Which is also a sign of abuse. They didnt choice for you and your husband not to work out. I suggest realizing it’s not about you anymore. Your children need to come first. Your mom isn’t a jerk, ppl saying that are clearly stupid.
That’s horrible! Your mom would pick the ex reguardless of her daughters feelings. And if he was a real man he would back out respect the boundaries. Good luck 
I hope your mom changes her mind.
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I would just go as others have said … Gotta look at it thru ur children’s eyes not yours… I personally regret not doing this with my Children’s fathers bc now they’re adults and think that their parents could never get along and do anything on behalf of them .
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I wouldn’t let it ruin a trip for my kids . I’d put my feelings aside and enjoy time with my parents and kids and let my kids have a memory with mom,dad, family together . It was nice of your mom to spend that kind of money and to invite the kids dad so they can experience it with the people that love them . That’s all that really matters.
I think your mom is a big jerk.
But with that being said… take advantage 
take the free trip and you just have fun with your kids. Fuck the rest !
I understand the kids are going, I even understand inviting him, I don’t understand inviting the girlfriend, at least not without speaking to you first. It is THEIR vacation/anniversary, so they can invite whoever that want, but it kind of sounds like your parents didn’t agree with your divorce and are rubbing your face in it now.
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It’s your parents celebration, it’s not about you. You don’t have to like it but for the sake of family, including the children you and he have together, finding a way to get along will benefit everyone in the long run. I hope you find healing and peace for yourself.
Be a grown up. Put your feelings aside. For your kids. If you don’t wanna go then don’t. But don’t stop your kids from going. And his new girlfriend, regardless how you feel, is gonna be apartof your kids lives. Any your family sees that. And obviously wantsto get to know who is gonna be around their grand kids. You should too. And that’s the prefect opportunity. And when you’re mom longer with the other parent, you have to be more mature then you thought you could be. And it is no longer about you or how you feel anymore. But about your kids. You have to share them. Not just with him. But whoever he decides to be with after you.
Too bad it’s not up to you lol
Learn to get along and comfortable with your ex and his new gf. Your kids literally depend on it 
And don’t keep your kids from this because your too selfish and petty to let them enjoy a vacation.
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It sounds like you are willing to forfeit your kids fun for your own anger. Settle your soul, embrace your divorce and enjoy the hell out of a great vacation. Meet a gorgeous man, you have a babysitter invited, aka ex and girlfriend, and live!!! 
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Someone needs to grow up and its you.
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I would be petty and send your kids and take a solo vacation…serioulsy
Let the kids go on the trip you stay HOME
FOLLOW YOUR HEART, DISNEY IS NOT GOING AWAY YOU CAN GO SOME OTHER TIME WITHOUT THE " drama"
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Put your kids first, they would enjoy their father on the trip. Grow up. Move on. Put your kids first and quit being selfish.
It just may be too soon…people need time to heal. Not sure how close you are with your mother but it seems they are close as well. I know it’s her event but she should have considered your emotions. Toughen up? I guess with time you will and may be able to comfortably share in the same gatherings with his new partner. I think regardless the day is ruined for you so you going to stay home and miss out and let me tell you he’s not going to look like the bad guy honey.Or you can go be cordial feel like shit because you’ve been thrown out of your comfort zone and dont have control of a situation. Either way you got the short end of the stick on this one. Do the right thing.Set your emotions aside and trust me you will come out ahead! Plus if you dont go …they win! You really should go.
Suck it up and put your big girl panties on. Have to learn how to co parent. If the father wants to be involved with spending time with his kids dont stop him.
Your mother sounds very controlling…
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If it was me yes I be a tad tick but this your kids dad going he can share the baby sitting his own kids or you stay home send the kids with their dad and you do something else
Sounds like your jealous over your ex!
Listen, if you don’t want to go then DONT ! Ask the kids if they would Ike to go and dad and girlfriend can take care of them. Your parents obviously don’t care about how you feel…but you still need to. Validate your feelings and to all these jerks on here passing judgement tell them to kiss your ass. Do what is right for you.
Stick to your guns. You are completely correct.