My mom is upset that I do not get child support

If everything is shared and he does his part then thats awesome…my ex husband would not thats why we had to go the support route

Tell your mom to mind her business. Y’all are doing what you feel is best for your child. That’s all that matters. He’s y’all’s son, not hers.

Child support is when one parent has the child majority of the time. When it’s 50/50. The cost of raising them is split 50/50 and no one should owe the other extra help. If both parents are pulling their own weight, child support should not be a thing. I have all 3 of my children 24/7 365 and I don’t even ask for child support. It would be nice to have some help sometimes with expenses. But :woman_shrugging:

I grew up when dads didn’t get custody and paid for everything. I like it better that way. Mom’s do more and get paid less. Studies show in divorce, man’s income goes up and women’s goes down. Government always taking away from women… sports conversations these days, should never be taking place. … blah blah blah. Pandora’s Box…
Can of worms. Yep.

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WA state, whoever makes more has to pay even at 50/50. It’s to ensure the child has similar living situations at each home. Going to one parents big house with a pool and fun toys and then going back to the other parents 1 bedroom apartment living on easy mac is what it’s suppose to avoid happening.

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Most states will either issue no child support or in rare cases i have seen where both parents paid child support weekly. Who ever had the child for that week would receive payment from the other and visa versa.
But on 50/50 most corts deny child support.
Just ignore your mother. I know it may get on your nerves but let it go in one ear and out the other.

How is it any of her business?

50/50 no one should pay child support, unless one of the parents make way much more money than the other.
Seems like you and your ex have a fair and understanding co parenting, you should not allow any outsiders including your mom to interfere and cause unnecessary stress and drama .

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It’s really none of her business

No, I fully think the same as you and I wish more people did think the same as you. You have your head on straight!

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We have 50/50 of our kids, he provides insurance on our kids, and we spilt extra expenses. Because we are in Illinois and he makes twice what I make the court said he had to pay child support even though we tried to agree on none.

It sounds like you and your ex has a plan and it’s working out well and as long as he’s taking
care of his part why not leave well enough alone. It’s better for the child❤

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My ex and i co-parented for 16 years without child support

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This gonna sound bad but… just lie to her tell her you tried and it was denied. Or you saw a lawyer for consultation and he said you would lose due to the 50/50 I know it sucks to lie but maybe she will get off your back about it :woman_shrugging:t2:

Girl, do u, if y’all have an arrangement and its working then do what’s best for y’all, don’t worry about ur mom

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If it’s 50/50 no one should be paying support

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I never put either one of my kids dad’s on cs. Even tho I had full custody. I don’t agree nor support cs

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If there is a substantial income difference between you and your ex, then child support can come into play. Often, the woman gets to keep the house but the entire divorce costs her more because she earns less, likely took time off, worked less, or declined a promotion to focus on kids, etc. This costs women dearly when retirement rolls around. You might want to discuss this with a financial planner.

The other factor is who pays for clothing, sports and other activities, birthday gifts for friends, etc. I’m not trying to nitpick, but these costs add up quickly and mothers more often cover these costs.

If your retirement is secure and you and your ex have discussed how you’ll finance college and everything is working as is, then everything is probably fine. Just make sure that you’re saving enough for retirement, especially if you took lower paid employment or time off to raise kids. Too many women don’t factor that in after a split.

I’m more curious why your mother is so obsessed with this.

No child support here and we are 50/50 and split everything.

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I have my kids 90% of the time and their dad doesn’t pay child support so I’d say you’re doing pretty well.

My ex and I have true 50/50 and everyone is always on my case about how I actually give the child support back to my ex. We have what works for us and that’s including me not keeping the child support.

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What you have sounds Good to me

None of her buisness

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Your mom is wrong. No judge in their right mind would authorize child support when you all have 50/50.

I’m 100% with you! All these people saying well if he makes more he should regardless. Lmao. No. They want you to be dependent and you’re clearly independent and rocking it! I do not agree with child support in any way shape or form unless the other parent is an absent parent. It’s a corrupt system. I would never risk my child’s good environment at their fathers because I needed more money to support the child when they’re with me! Nope. I’ll live within my means as with the father & our kiddo will have two great homes.

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There is many kids of 50/50… if responsibility was actually truthfully split down the middle then fine and dandy no child support… however if it’s 50/50 but mom / dad has child 60-99 percent of the time then he’ll no it’s not right and other parent should pay. I’ve never wanted child support from any of my kids dads… I always made a way where there was no way before I got the child support… and even still do honestly… my oldest was 5 months before I filed for support and only reason I filed was because I was pressured into it by my then husband…. My oldest has received support since but has only ever met his dad 6 times in 11 years never over night either unless his dad went camping with us which was only one time for 2 nights… my middle child I filed when he was 3 months old after his dad said he didn’t owe me or his son anything (this being the one who pressured me to file on my oldests dad ) he ran from child support for 16 months never paid constant until a year ago my middle is 7 and has only seen his dad about 10 times tops over nights were encouraged… but not many were taken… my youngest her dad current husband / ex pressured me to file abandonment on middles dad for not paying but he also doesn’t pay unless I file abandonment I have no filed for support through the state but he’s court ordered to pay through temp divorce order (he doesn’t ) he also won’t see our child…. He did have the option of over nights with her until he got with a young female who don’t have custody of her own children (cps is involved ) so he refuses to visit our daughter bc I won’t allow him unsupervised visits due to the female he’s with… he wants 50/50 custody but doesn’t have the means for 50/50 meaning he doesn’t have a home of his own a bed for her clothes toys etc… he also works doing out of town / state traveling.

Tell her to mind her business. Whatever works best between you n the father is all that matters.

It’s not your mother’s relationship, it’s yours and if it works for you and your ex then just leave it like it is. You might have to remind her of that as well. If it’s 50/50 and you both make the same amount of money basically, there shouldn’t be child support. Some parents just don’t understand

I’ve always done 50/50. Never had an issue.

You’re sharing the kids expenses. Including housing food daycare and needs for him. That’s what cold support is supposed to be for so in my opinion asking for moreis just Getting greedy. I think your mom is wrong on this one

I have 50/50 with my son. No child support. In our state, no child support is given with 50/50. We’re equally providing in our homes and to me that’s fair. If there’s trips or extra stuff we mutually want him to do, we split the cost. Makes life so much easier. Keep doing what works for you and your little ones dad. Your mom needs to mind her own I feel like. That’s not her business nor concern.

I never got any for my daughter wonder if I can get Back pay hehehe she is almost 40 yrs old hahaha

I agree with you babe :slightly_smiling_face: it’s none of anybody else’s business x

Honestly i agree completely! If you two are good with it dont worry what anyone else thinks.
I dont agree with a judge telling one what to do with their children anyway but it triggers me bc in the past i was done dirty bc lack of money. Now me and my children’s father are getting along and everything is ok

I think in Canada in BC if you are the parent who makes more money and have the child less than 85 percent of the time then you have to pay child support…
I think it is the dumbest thing ever

You can have 50/50 and one person still get child support. Just tell her nothing. It’s not her business

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I do not get child support and I do not file for it . We are not 50/50 . But when they absolutely need something I expect him to help and thank goodness he has come thru when it’s needed .

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No not if it’s 50/50 he doesn’t owe you any more than you owe him lol

I don’t think it’s any of her business but it depends on the income in most professions men earn more then women unfortunately even for the same role so if your significantly less let’s say 65K and he’s earning 250k then your Mom does have a valid point based on income differential

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You’re in the right here. Why would he pay you to keep your kid for your half of the time?

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Tell her to mind her business and that your not going to have the same conversation again.

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We are doing 50/50 and he pays child support too, it’s not much but it’s something.
Our custody papers are prepared for the “worst case” scenario but I tried to tell him when we went to court that I would trust him doing his part and child support payments did not need to be on there but he didn’t listen :woman_shrugging:t3:

CS is more for if he’s a dead beat and don’t help or have the child a couple days a week. If you have 50/50 and y’all’s arrangements work for the two of you that’s all that matters. You’re the parents. Unless you’re constantly borrowing from mom, then mom has no business in your business.

We do 50/50 without child support, children get what they need at each home. :slightly_smiling_face:

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No, u are correct. I 100% agree with u.

My oldest sons father and I have had a 50/50 agreement since the time he was about 4. He’s 12 now. Neither of us pay child support. We split summer care if needed and anything extracurricular. They have a set of clothes for him shoes etc and he has the same at my house.

What would he pay for? I think she’s from a different generation…

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Work, support your kids, love them.

I think it’s amazing you’ve been able to develop this relationship with baby daddy. Your mother is stuck in a different era for child support. He’s being responsible as are you. Figure out a good way to change the conversation when she brings it up and don’t let her suck you into a discussion. Not everyone has the other parent involved

I had 50/50 with my ex and neither of us paid support. We split everything equally 50/50 (medical, sports, etc). As long as he’s taking care of them and helping with 50% of expenses, no need.

Actually even if you went to court he might not be ordered to pay anything bc you guys have 50/50 and already split everything. You could tell your mom that. Unless there’s a big difference in how much he makes I don’t think they would order support. Or if you make significantly more you could end up ordered to pay. I agree with you. If everything is split evenly there’s no need for child support

I agree with you, unfortunately most courts do not and will do anything to screw the guy most of the time even when everything points to the ex-wife being the one at fault. Your thinking is just common sense and I think it’s the way the courts should rule, wish more parents could agree on these things like you and your ex are doing.

You could always pay him lmao my ex and I had 50/50 and no one paid child support we just split cost of extras and we each paid when our child was with us.Try get child support and you just might end up paying yourself tell your nosey mum that

She needs to mind her business. You have 50/50 and he is splitting childcare costs… it would be silly for him to still fork over more money :woman_facepalming:

If you both share in all the expenses, then there’s no need for child support. If he’s only paying half the cost of childcare, but doesn’t help buy clothing or food, etc., then yes, I’d say he needs to contribute more. It doesn’t have to be court ordered child support. If you tell dad that the child needs shoes or clothes, or medicine, or whatever … and dad helps you to get it, then he’s doing his part.

Often times, the man makes more money than the woman does, yet the woman ends up taking care of 100% of the expenses as well as being the primary caregiver … and in those cases, yes, child support is only fair. But these days, women are starting to move up the pay scale, and in some cases, the mom will make more money than the dad does.

As long as both parents are contributing, and the child’s needs are met, I’d say you’re doing it right.

Why would he pay child support if h me has them 50% of the time? You’re correct.

Explain to her how lucky you are to have that support with your childs parent. I’d give anything to have my coparent step up :frowning: you’re so lucky

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We had 50/50 split custody when my daughter was younger she is now 18 but he made more than me and he was ordered to pay child support

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You are correct. No support.

Sounds reasonable to me

I call that co-parenting…:woman_shrugging:t4:so why is she stuck on child support, its not any of her business anyway but i dont know your dynamic with your mother.

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Child support also can be, buying them food, clothes, schooling , anything the child needs

You are right as far as I see. It sounds like he would step up and help out if u needed help and that is priceless

If he’s splitting daycare costs with you and providing for the child during his time which is equal to your time…why on earth should he pay you any thing at all?? Child support is for lack of support from the other party for the child not for failed relationships.

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You’re in the right. If he’s equally involved and splits normal costs with you, then I don’t believe child support is necessary :heart:

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Child support is so the child can have the same quality of life at both homes. If he made significantly more than you, it would presumably be fair that he would and should be able to support more. If you both make nearly the same, it’s a wash. And it goes both ways, if the mom were to make significantly more she could be ordered to pay the dad child support.

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She really needs to stay out of your business if you and your ex have an agreement that’s it. It’s your life not hers

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It’s based on percentage of incomes. What if he makes twice as much as you? That’s not 50/50.

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It’s not her business or concern.

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It goes by wages. Not by custody.
If I was inclined I could have went after my ex for child support. He made/makes more than I do.
I simply chose not to do that. Why would I take from him?
We split everything. Our kids are happy and if they needed something truly at my house and I couldn’t get it I know I could ask him.

It’s so the kids have the same lifestyle at both homes. Many think that child support doesn’t need to be paid if time is equal. It’s just not true.

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If you’re splitting it evenly then I say it’s already fair

Tell mom to mind her business if it is working for you both than leave it be don’t try to fix something if it isn’t broke

Depending on what state you live in child support will vary. You would have to provide your parenting plan order and they would set up a meeting for an agreed order or have to go to court. Some child support cases can be medical only where the dad or mom is required to carry insurance. Or it can be both where insurance and money is owed. However, don’t let someone who is not involved try and get in your head. Just make you between you and the father of the child. It doesn’t matter if it was a failed relationship or if the other parent is or isn’t involved. Don’t let people make you think it’s based on that because it’s full of bologna.

It’s nothing to do with your mother whether he pays child support or not. You and your child’s father have made a decision so she needs to butt out. Your an adult making adult decisions

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Why should you get an extra pay check just because of your gender?

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My husband had 50/50 and had to pay child support and allow her to live in one of his rental properties Scott free until the kids turned 18 or she vacated.

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That would be unfair if he paid support.

50/50 you are not entitled to child support through the system…its entirely up to him if he wants to give you any…then it would only be fair you contributed also…as you both share the expenses and have equal custody they system makes it that child support is not warranted. Maybe different in other states

Im with my kids dad and he pays child support because I have Medicaid and I’m on my mom’s food stamps case but honestly I like it. I know that no matter how big his check is we will have money for anything our son needs it’s been very helpful. He’s not a fan of paying child support but it’s better than paying medical bills. I plan on getting child support for the new baby too. His parents don’t agree but I don’t want to struggle for diapers wipes or anything else my kids need and when we don’t need anything for the kids we spend it on things we need for ourselves. It’s kinda like having emergency money.

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Normally 50/50 their is no support because both parents get kids equally. And also if he is actually helping why would she care I mean you pay for your child’s food and clothes at your house and he at his and y’all split the cost of daycares as I’m sure you’ll do for extra curricular activities and school supplies

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My son is 16 and I’ve never taken one penny in child support. I don’t care how much money his dad makes. We each buy what he needs and always communicate with eachother about his needs, feelings etc. If you’re fine with the way things are then I would just leave it be

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If everything is split absolutely no need, he is doing Is part. I also wouldn’t go for child support if they were active and helpful. I think real actual deadbeats are the only ones that should be on child support regardless of how much either parent makes.

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Some of these comments. OP I agree with you. If y’all split everything he shouldn’t be paying child support even if he makes more money. Why tf should a man have to give a woman money when they share equal responsibility in taking care of the child just bc the mom makes less money? Makes no sense

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Tell mom to butt out of your business

Your splitting time so the state won’t mandate support outside of medical that goes beyond the general coverage. Tell your mom you love her and appreciate her opinion but to zip it and mind her business.

No if he helps good for u cause a lot out there dont so don’t break something that’s working for u

Well here in Kansas no matter who makes what money if you have 50/50 no one pays child support. Plain and simple the child….let me repeat that for some in the back…THE CHILD needs both parents and both sets of grand parents and bonus parents and all the love they can handle. This damn world is crazy enough without the bickering fighting nagging and all that other stuff that could be happening but relationships that can co-exist are the best. You are doing fine mom don’t worry about old school thinking

Seems fair. But if dad makes 500k a year and you make 70k a year it isn’t. Maybe mom feels that way due to the wage difference? The child is supposed to have a pretty balanced life at both homes.

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Unless she is supporting your child she doesn’t get a say.

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I would take your mom’s advice into consideration…it’s a lot more then just daycare… What does your 50/50 consist of? How many days a week does he have your child?
If he helps you with everything and I mean everything that your child needs then you can be comfortable with your own arrangement. Your child will get older and not be in daycare at a certain point. Pin point these things when comes to clothing, groceries, school etc. They grow fast and you need to keep up with it. Just one mom to another! If he’s happy to split all the way then you guys are doing great. Wish you the best.

You share 50/50 custody, split daycare costs, do everything pretty evenly. I think that’s awesome. It’s sexist to think the father should pay child support for no other reason than he’s male. Sounds like you coparent very well. Keep doing what your doing and tell your mom to knock it off with her comments on this subject.

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A very fair-minded women very unusual

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Mom needs to mind her business

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My son is with me mon-fri…his dad sat and sun. We only give each other money if the other one needs it, and we go half on big things,birthdays etc.

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Your mom is from an old toxic mindset.

You give me hope.

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I don’t see why a man should have to pay child support if he has them 50% of the time. I think being an adult like you are & splitting things where it’s fair is the best way to do it. A lot of women expect child support in unfair circumstances

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Tell her to mind her business if she isn’t paying for your child and didn’t help make said child it’s non of her business

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I have 50/50 and he don’t pay and I don’t pay… his time is his time he’s Responsible for them. Mine time is the same way. School supplies we split. He pays for one and I get the other.

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Mama needs to mind her own!!! Don’t break what’s not broken.

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If you feel like what you and your kiddos dad are doing is working don’t worry about what anyone else is saying. You’re the mom and he’s the dad what ever y’all feel is best is what should be done.

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