My mom is upset that I do not get child support

I think there’s other factors to consider too …like if he has a good career & if you’re children are still young & you’re a stay at home Mom looking after them.

Shes not the one providing for him so she really has no say. It’s not her kid, her money, or her life.

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If you’re happy and not depending on her to support you or your child she should be too.

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It depends. I have heard some states do 50/50 without child support, other’s don’t.:woman_shrugging:t2: If you and he split it all and you feel there is no issue tell your mom to butt out. Court will tell you it is between the parents, your mom has no say over child support unless you were to die and she had custody.

I agree with you :relaxed: less hassle to!

If everything’s is 50/50 which sounds like it is, no one should get any type of support. Do you live with her? I’m wondering if she feels that way bc she wants money from you. I could be way wrong but just asking

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If he’s splitting all of the costs of the child,tell your mom to butt out…Not her child,not her business!!

You are right. She just sounds greedy.

No you’re right. Mom is wrong. Maybe she’s spiteful!

If it works that way for you them whyess up a good thing my olds son’s bio we had 50/50 and he paid child support and since he really wasn’t in picture I took h back to court and I have full custody and he still pays child support

I had this arrangement…it worked out for us …people found it strange …but their opinions didn’t matter …I was called a fool…my boys are 32 and 30 …

I don’t even do 50/50 lol he’s sees our girls maybe 3-4 max a year and I don’t have him on child support

It’s your situation not your moms she can mind her own

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I do 50/50 with my ex and either of us pay child support and we r both happy

Depends on if he makes way more then her but too each their own

I think what you and the child father are doing what sounds best for y’all

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Me and my ex had 50/50 until school started. He then slacked on helping with our kids(used to I would ask for what I needed for them and he would buy the items and give them to me) after he stopped helping I pursued child support. He brought up in court we had 50/50 and they weren’t going to let me have child support until I showed proof I had the kids majority of the time(he also slipped up and admitted it in court) and that’s the only reason I was granted child support. Normally with 50/50 it’s hard to even get child support. But I look at it this way if his dads actually helping take care of him atleast 50% then there is no need to enforce child support when hes already supporting the child willingly. Even then it could be less than what hes helping now :woman_shrugging:

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If its 50 50 then no child support is only needed if the dads barely involved

Your way of thinking is right in my books and absolutely amazing.
50 50, split daycare and do what you want in your own time.

Different story if he earns double what you do and lives life to the fullest and you live week to week… Only then I’d talk to him about the struggles and see about him contributing to make it easier.

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I agree. It sounds like everything is already split evenly and fairly. You’re right in my opinion.

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If you’re happy with your set up then others opinions shouldn’t matter. Set some boundaries with your Mom it’s not really her place to say what is or isn’t right with your situation.

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First of all, your mom needs to butt out. If you have made a fair deal with your BD and he’s keeping up his end of the deal what else does she want…blood. So what part of 50/50 doesn’t she understand. If that’s your agreement it’s no one else’s business including hers. She should be happy that this man is diligently doing his part and is not a deadbeat. I’d ask her so….if he gives you child support as his 50% part of being the dad does that mean she is going to pay him your 50% as your part for being the mom. I agree with you. Greed is terrible and as long as you are sharing the bills and responsibilities equally that is fair and awesome and I wouldn’t care who likes it. Your all happy and that’s all that matters :woman_shrugging:t3:

I’m so sorry. Please don’t let her ignorance ruin your peace. Stay strong and keep growing :heart:

No court in the land will make either one of you pay child support if absolutely everything. What if you made more money than him ? Ask your mother if you should pay him child support ?

The person who makes more should pay more in a 50/50 time split. That’s why the state figures it that way. If you make roughly the same amount of money, and have the child the same amount of time, why would anyone pay? :woman_shrugging:

It really depends. If you both have similar incomes, then 50/50 should not be considered but if the income is significantly different, then yes child support is needed. Whole idea of child support is to make sure the child maintains the same standard of living as if you guys were still together. I would look into child support calculators for the state you live in.

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In some states if the parents have 50/50 custody the court will not order child support.

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Your mom only has a right to an opinion on this matter if she is paying your bills and helping you out financially. If you and your ex are happy and your son is happy it’s no one’s business.

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The child support system should really only be for absent fathers. What you two are doing is the ideal way! Kudos.

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If you’re sharing the cost and custody, I don’t see the issue. Him paying half daycare would be his form of CS. Just like you paying half from yours. Probably ends up being more than what CS would even be.

Your mom sounds like an entitled jerk IMO. If custody is 50/50 and y’all split childcare, I don’t see why anyone should pay support.

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I’ve never thought 50/50 should have child support unless the paying party agrees. If you both have your child half the time, you can both provide what that child needs on your time. I’m sorry your mom doesn’t get that :pensive:

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A lot of the courts are doing 50/50 when it comes to “rights” and that’s why some dads still pay child support… because mom maintains the residence, dad gets 1st, 3rd and 5th weekend visits with the kids… if you truly have 50/50 custody and he’s with you 50% and dad 50% then there’s no need for child support… especially if you guys are co parenting well…

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If you are fine with how things are then don’t let her ruin how your co-parent, plus if he doesn’t make crazy amounts more money then you then it’s pointless, you guys have a plan that is working for you so why change it, it’s pointless

Usually based on income… does he make significantly more than you? If not, then you are correct… no one should pay child support… as long as he pays for the clothes at his house and pays half the school supplies and any extra curricular activities, etc.

I applaud you and your child’s dad for co-parenting without involving the system. It seems like your child’s dad does his part and you are happy! Don’t let anyone ruin your happy home and including your mom!

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That’s how it is where I live.

Is she helping you support your child? If so I kinda see her being upset that she needs to support your child when the father should be.

Child support while custody is 50/50 is to assure that the child’s living conditions are similar. If you & your ex’s incomes are close then no you wouldn’t get child support. But if 1 of you are making a lot more than the other then the parent with the higher incomes should pay to assure what they’ve taught the child to expect continues in both homes.

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If it works for you and your sons father and you are co parenting great together then do what works for you guys

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You should tell your mom it takes $0.00 to mind her own business. You’re not entitled to pay child support nor is he entitled to pay child support if you’re parenting 50/50. In Oklahoma if there is joint custody, nobody pays child support.

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If everything is split then why would you even need child support? Lol you should let her know that your arrangement is your arrangement not hers so she should butt out. If I ever split with my husband, my hope would be we could split everything evenly and if someone needed money and the other had it for the kids we would just hand it over. I know that’s not always possible but it’s what I would hope for. When you have children you become family and stay family even if you aren’t together. I honestly think it should stay that way (other than obviously any sort of abuse)

If he’s doing his part then there’s no need for child support. It’s none of her business.

I say keep it the way it is if it works. My boys dad owes 18,000 in back and i have received maybe 6 payments total. It’s just stressful.

Why is it even her business? Not her kid, not her circus. Be straight up honest and tell her mind her business.

Before I answer this question, I need to know:

  1. Do you live with your mother?
  2. Is she helping FINANCIALLY with your daughter?
    If you answered yes to either question, that may be why she’s telling you to get child support. :woman_shrugging:t4:
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Does your Mom pay your bills? If not, it really shouldn’t concern her, sounds like you have this handled!

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That’s your choice, but if you go to court you can set it however you want, and neither one of you has primary custody…it works your way until it doesnt…GET EVERYTHING IN WRITING…ESTABLISH PRIMARY CUSTODY thru the court.

If she wants him to pay tell her to go ask him. If you have a good relationship with your child and him why is it her business.
Unless you live there.
Then I can see her questioning it.even still let her talk to him. Does he show up? Call ? Love the child? Then he is luckier than most kids.

If you and him are both fine with the current agreement then there is no problem :woman_shrugging:
Your mum needs to stay out of it

I don’t do child support and we share 50/50 and split all other costs. No sense in each other being drug through a court system if it’s not necessary. I also didn’t want either one of us able to use it as a vindictive tool considering how horrible the divorce was. It’s been working for 8 years now.

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If custody is 50/50 and he should pay child support than you should have to pay him child support. That makes no sense. Tell her to mind her business. Since everyone is asking about her paying your bills… If she is that has nothing to do with the father. He is doing his part with 50/50 custody and taking care of his child. If you can’t provide for yourself and your child thats your problem and it isn’t anyone else’s job but yours to make sure your child is taken care of

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Tell your mom to butt out. Sounds like you have a great co parenting relationships which is not easy. She is going to cause issues. I feel
If you are split up and have 50/50 custody then no one pays child support and splitting daycare is good. Keep it up! Your child needs this. Very amazing of you and your child’s father!!:raised_hands:t4:

If it’s good with you, tell her to mind her business. Who carries health insurance on child? Just wondering :thinking:

It’s one of her business.

Your mom sounds toxic. You’re doing what is right, if that’s what you’re looking for! :heart::heart: You’re responsible for your time, he’s responsible for his! Why try to fix something that’s not broken?!

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No if you share 50/50 then your right no one should pay :ok_hand:

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Men. Are. Not. ATMs. Your mother is disgusting.

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If everything is split and it works for u both co parenting the way u r it is none of ur moms business its ur child not hers and if something is coming up and ur struggling than talk to ur child’s father for extra help instead of her if tht is the issue is my opinion

I say leave it alone because I agree. If he has the child the same amount and already pays at least 50% for the child then he is doing his part. She should be grateful her grandchild has a reliable dad.

It’s your life! Do not let your mom dictate it! If you are happy with the agreement then that is all that matters. And if it’s working and keeping the peace then leave it be!!!

You are both adults. If you have an amicable working set up that meets your child’s needs and you are both happy with that, it is an excellent thing and none of your mother’s business. Women don’t need men to support or protect them. Children need both of those things from both of their parents. That’s it.

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A lot of people think I’m crazy for not pursuing support for my twins. He is not on the birth certificate as I chose that. I do not want anything to do with him ever. And my babies are better off without that negative influence.

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My kids dad and I share custody and no one pays child support. Luckily we decided amicably how to split time and expenses. I agree just because he’s the father doesn’t mean he needs to pay. If things are split 50/50 there’s no need imo. If he was a deadbeat and didn’t pay for anything or see the child then that’s a different story. If mom isn’t paying for anything then I’m sorry she has no opinion. If she’s helping then maybe she’s at the end of her rope.

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Wth 50/50 means just that.

I mean if you can call him at any time and depend on the fact that he’s going to be there for you no! But it sounds like you can. You are right. You don’t owe her anything.

Wot!

50/50 means an even as possible split between time and finances…

Child support is unnecessary.

My ex and I have 50/50 and I would not WANT child support because that wouldn’t be fair.

Why wouldn’t your mum just be happy that your ex isn’t doing the usual stereotypical “fortnightly visitor parent” routine.

Time is more important to a child than money ever will be.

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Child support is levied to bridge gaps in income between the two households. This is done with the intention of making both living situations equally comfortable and is based off income, overnights and the number of dependents. If Mom as an example works salary and makes 100k a year, Dad makes 50k, Mom would pay Dad with 50/50. If Dad had less time, she’d pay less, if Mom had less time she’d pay even more…

In short, it depends on your income gap.

I’ve never asked in 11 years for child support. If you are comfortable then keep it how it is. It’s what’s best for your situation.

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No neither should pay child support

I agree with you. Leave it how it is. It works for y’all and it seems like he is pulling his weight. No need to stir anything up for absolutely no reason. Sounds like y’all have it worked out already.

Don’t let her make you think you should do something different if you are ok with the situation. Every state is also different. Where I am even if it’s 50/50 one parent could be ordered to pay it but they would take the difference in incomes and base the amount off that amount. I mean if one parent makes a lot more and the child has a completely different life at one parents house I could see having something in place but if you work together without cs in place I say good for you both and just keep it that way

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Tell your mom to mind her own business… its working for you. Men are not money machines.

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I’m with you and I’m the same with my kids father he pays daycare and I pay for the eldest before and after school care if I run out of formula he will buy it and bring it over.
He goes 50/50 with presents and shopping if it’s for the kids he will go half. I find by staying stay from child support it’s a better relationship between him and I am the kids

Sounds like your ex n you are being mature n co-parenting in the child’s best interest… Mom sounds like she might not be thinking those ways.

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Please tell her to mind her business. If it works for you, theres no problem. Dont make things harder than they are.

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It’s your child and your relationship. If something happened and you said hey I need help with this for your kid and he tries . You got a good one . Don’t let outside opinions mess with your relationship

If he makes much more than you then yes he could have to pay just like you could. If you’re fine with how things are than it’s really none of your moms business.

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It’s a fair compromise that whoever makes the most money in 50/50 pays for the child’s health insurance in lieu of child support. That’s what my ex and I do. I waived child support. Mom needs to butt out tho

I don’t think any judge would order support in a 50/50 custody situation unless your standard of living is suffering due to the divorce. Your mom needs to mind her business! If you make more, they could make you pay.

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Just lie to her and say yeah you have child support. What is she going to do? Make you show her proof? Just say yeah you do just to get her off your back.

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I agree with you. I don’t like that women take advantage of certain situations. You have the ideal coparenting situation.

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Well it depends, do u split housing, clothing, food, pocket money and entertainment too? If its 50/50, everything should be 50/50

Your mom is being sexist. You have quite literally the most ideal situation for separated parents. Just ignore her when she says that. Besides, it’s non of her business in the first place. This is your family before it’s hers. She’s your mom, but she’s only grandma to your kid. She has no business in big decisions unless you specifically ask her.

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My husband has shared parenting if that’s what you mean by 50/50 he does not pay child support regardless it’s not her business

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I agree with you. Leave it how it is. It works for y’all and it seems like he is pulling his weight. No need to stir anything up for absolutely no reason. Sounds like y’all have it worked out already.

Well we were 50/50 and I had kids all the time and payed for everything even though he was the soul caretaker …and payed child support

But if u feel like it’s right than don’t worry about it…it’s what y’all agreed upon

Your mom needs to stay out of your business.

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Your mother’s point of view probably comes from a time when men made more money than women. Not always true these days. Still, a man should make sure the mother of his child is not lacking anything. And that she is not working so much that it is taking away from her time to be a Mom to his kids. Whatever kind of support that might require, should be afforded. I am a little old fashioned too. But as long as everyone is good and everything is taken care of, whatever works works. Maybe your Mom is just worried about you.

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I have always said if the father of your child is an active member of your child’s life and helps with the expenses of raising yalls child like pays half of daycare, either carries the child on his health insurance and you pay the co pay or if you do he pays the co pay, helps buy the necessitys for thw child ect. Their is no reason to involve the courts in yalls parenting!!

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My ex and I have 50/50 and no child support. Seemed silly to me much like you mentioned. We split everything.

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We have 50/50 and he pays child support that is court ordered. It’s not court ordered for me to buy the majority of her clothes, school supplies, dance stuff, shoes, makeup etc… for both houses, but I do. I use the child support. I think everyone has to do what works best for their situation.

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You do what works best for your coparenting relationship. It took me years to be able to successfully coparent… a huge part of it was to stop listening to everyone else. It’s our child and only me/him need to parent.

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Don’t know what state your in…but in MS. 50/50 means no child support…medical is split. Everything else is split. Became you literally share same amount…no reason to have child support. Can’t handle that,.most turn their rights over. In the end it’s YOUR. Business not anyone else’s.

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In Montana if you have 50/50 and try to get child support the parent who makes the most pays

I have my son full time. Never took him for full custody because we live in different states and he is a shitty excuse for a father. Came to an agreement for child support and lasted a year. Nothing in the last year. Eventually I’ll take him to court, I know I need to.

With 50/50 I think that each parent pays their share. So no need for child support. :woman_shrugging:

With 50/50 u should not get child support bc the dad is doing his part his 50% of the child’s life

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Yeh you can have 50/50 and whoever makes more money is the one who pays money not unless no one ask for it but I think it should be equal I have my daughter full time it took forever for me to get child support.

I dont know about the USA but in Australia whoever earns more money pays child support. Theroy being standard of living for children is more level in both houses

Why would he pay you if you have the child equal amount of time and both split daycare? Your mom is greedy as heck.

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