I used to pay child support and his father did as well… Now we have a grown disabled adult and fighting to get his disability check is a joke right now
Child support isn’t dependant on gender, not sure where you got that from. It is intended to close the wage gap between the parents so that they’re financially on an even level with eachother. It’s dependant on custody arrangements and each parents salary. In order to figure out the appropriate amount they’d have you both fill out financial documents to calculate who is making more and who has the kids more.
2 Likes
You wouldn’t even be eligible for child support since it’s 50/50 so tell your mum that. No he shouldn’t have to pay you a cent.
I agree. Once you get the government involved in your lives, it’ll be miserable
3 Likes
I’ve never heard of parents with 50/50 paying child support
It’s really whatever works for you and the dad!
It’s none of your mothers business to be completely honest!
4 Likes
You have a good working relationship to co-parent your child. Your arrangement is what works for your child so keep doing what is working
1 Like
Are you happy with your arrangement? Tell MIL to butt out
1 Like
I get $25 a week with 50/50 because I carry insurance for our kid and that goes on the card they provided and he has the card.
1 Like
If everything is split 50/50, then no. Count yourself very fortunate.
1 Like
Not her business if you are happy with your child’s coparenting agreement
It sounds like whatever your doing works for your family and 50/50 is splitting costs and that’s very fair. Maybe what your Mom really wants you to do is fight for more time with your child, which would give you child support?
At any rate you’ll need to just tell your mom to butt out.
My hub has 50/50 maybe 49/51. But either way, he pays child support.
Nope he shouldn’t have to give you anything!
You would have a hard time getting child support from Steve talk later
My mom used to do that literally just add up what he does pay a month for what your child let’s say they care is 130 a week y’all split them in half he’s playing 260 a month maybe he helps with diapers and wipes and other essential necessities add that in tell your mother he’s paying $400 a month and that’s more than what he would be paying if he was paying child support and just break it down to her like that because that’s the only thing that worked for my mom and anytime she brings it up so he pays $400 a month I utilize it for daycare and other necessities for my child
I have 50-50 with my child’s father he lives across state line he pays for my gas to go get my child on occasion and I pay for my own daycare or a babysitter and he pays for his own babysitter and daycare. But I had your same fight with my mom for many years and I broke it down financially it just worked
If it’s 50/50 meaning equal time with the child and everything to do with the child is evenly split nobody should have to pay child support… just my opinion…
2 Likes
You need to tell her nicely to stay out of you and your baby daddys business. And if she dont listen, then she will not be privy to any future information regarding YOUR child. And honestly, your finances should be none of her business…I get it. Us Moms worry, but you are doing what YOU and baby daddy have agreed on and find it works for both of you, she needs to butt out, respectively.
If your happy how you guys worked it out and it works for you guys keep it that way as long as you guys are good with it your mom can have her opinion but keep it to herself
No if you are splitting expenses and time with child no one should get support. Why would your mother even think that.
1 Like
If its all equal, why isn’t she suggesting that you pay child support to the father?
Exactly the same thing, does she not see it that way?
3 Likes
Have 50/50 with my ex. Everything is split down the middle. He does not pay support
3 Likes
i fully agree. child support should not be paid for equal parenting time.
50/50 means u pay at your home and he pays at his. The fact that u reasonably share 50% of costs is amazing
1 Like
If it’s split even with time and his needs. I wouldn’t do child support because his needs are meet.
She’s toxic. It’s none of her business. Keep doing what you and your ex agree on and what works for y’all.
the only thing l see here even though it all sounds so 50/50 shary fair…you can do a private agreement with him on paper if you like about other monies he should be contributing towards your life.Fathers life style allows him spending money…Your life style free cash is less…have a look at what you buy and what gets packed in bags on his visits.? the child’s clothes,shoes,kids books,medical stuff …and other things. He should be contributing to those things… unless the child goes off with dad with no suitcase full of clothes n toys or books,food stuffs??..what are you supplying?
If everything is 50/50 including care then I don’t think anyone needs to pay child support.
Wow love your maturity 
it is about the child ND he has 2 loving parents that cares for him together. You have support and the rest is no one’s business as long as it works for you guys
3 Likes
It sounds fair to me
1 Like
I dont get child support, if I buy something he buys something. If I take my child somewhere he will give her money. We do really well coparenting.
3 Likes
My daughters dad doesn’t pay me anything. We split all holidays 50/50, during term time she’s with me except weekends. Anything she needs he pays 50% towards, school uniform, school trips, new shoes/clothes etc…he loves her and WANTS to spend time with her, she’s happy and had all that she needs and that’s what matters.
3 Likes
She sounds bitter. Sharing 50/50 and splitting costs is good. The only way the courts would ever make anyone pay support in cases like this would be if one of you makes a lot more than the other. But you two have it figured out and are happy with it so stay with it. Ignore her or tell her it is none of her business because he pays for his child.
1 Like
If it’s 50/50 and you split things like clothes, shoes, toys then I don’t see why one parent should pay maintenance.
I wouldn’t start causing animosity arguing about money, seems like you have a good co parenting relationship
1 Like
My husband and I have 50/50 of his son and still pay. I don’t agree, we provide more stability to his son.
1 Like
I have 50/50 custody with two my boys, never had to split daycare only because the father‘s mother runs a daycare, that was lucky on both of our part and neither of us pay child support, when he’s in my care, I pay for what they need and when they are in their fathers care, his father does the same when it comes to school, we would both help out each other and split the cost of the uniforms we take turns with holidays meaning morning Christmas this year I get them next year morning Christmas he gets them
2 Likes
bro my mom had 50/50 custody with my dad & she wanted child support so he took her to court & LOL it turned out she would also have to pay child support for the time i was with my dad so she didn’t get any money. cause if it’s a 50/50, children aren’t pay checks. or at least also pay him for the expenses of raising a child.
tell your mom to mind her own business
3 Likes
I have 50/50 with my ex and neither pays support and we split everything evenly. We had to do the child support worksheet anyways when we went through our divorce and he would of had to pay me almost $800 a month for our 2 kids. How is that fair to him? My kids would have suffered at their dads if he had to do that
4 Likes
We have 50/50 and no child support. It doesn’t make sense for either to pay anything. It allows more money for each side to do things and be able to give more to the child(ren)
2 Likes
If you’re 50/50 then he doesn’t pay. Period. That’s what 50/50 means.
My ex and I try to have our son equal time no one pays child support each just buys him things like if he need a new coat or shoes we discuss at pick up time who ever has the money at the time gets what’s needed,
It’s everything else that’s paid for I think… clothes etc.
If it were me personally, I would have an account with ex where we paid an amount in each month. That money is then used for clothes, swimming lessons etc etc. Your food bills are equal because custody is equal but what about these bits.
I agree with you for everything else.
2 Likes
We have 50/50 but my ex makes significantly more than I do, so he pays child support. When I eventually get a better job it will have to be reevaluated.
In Nevada there is a formula for it. It’s not really up to us.
1 Like
Tell her this topic isn’t up for discussion anymore. If she brings it say no stop we aren’t discussing this. If she insists then leave.
4 Likes
No I think you’re absolutely correct
My husband has the same arrangement with his ex wife and it was finalized as such in the divorce which means even the courts go for it
Child support is for ABSENT parents.
4 Likes
Sounds like what you have works for everyone (except your mother.) If it’s not broken, don’t fix it.
1 Like
I had 50/50 but my x males more than I do so he pays child support. In NJ there’s a formula that is used.
1 Like
If it’s working for U and your ex then it’s none of her business
If its working for you, your most importantly your child. Politely tell your mom to mind her business. Children are not paychecks. Much peace and love ☆
Your mum is in the wrong and needs to back off! I have more than 50/50 with my children, when we separated i told him that i didn’t want child support i just wanted him to be an active parent in their lives… that system has always worked and everyone is happy, especially my children! Tell your mum to mind her business
1 Like
The courts don’t care man or woman. Its whoever has the higher income, even if 50/50. If you guys have similar incomes I wouldn’t worry. But if dad makes significantly more, then yes go for child support.
2 Likes
As long as the kids are taken care of and you share the expenses without major fighting or having to coax him into helping, I don’t see why he would need to pay child support. It’s also none of your mother’s business. If you’re having to fight with him or push him into paying for things for the kids like school clothes, etc then maybe child support would be something to look into to help with those costs without the hassle.
Shit my sons dad gets him 24 to 48 hours weekly, depending on the week, and he doesn’t even pay child support. Doesn’t offer any extra days, no money, nothing.unless I complain about it, even then most times still nothing. I used to be bitter but my son gets everything he needs from me.
However 50/50 i feel shouldn’t require child support as long as he’s helping with daycare ect which you said he was.
It goes by who makes more. I know several men who have their kids everyday, except 2 days a month (sometimes mother doesn’t even come) and they’re still paying child support, not her, even though they’re the custodial. That’s what It goes by. If you’re income is similar, and everything works for y’all then leave it alone. It’s not her business.
It depends, if he makes significantly more than you do, then yes he should, but if yall make about the same and your sharing equally then no.
If you are happy with how it is set up, it should not matter to your mom
Sounds like you guys are pretty equal and you are lucky to have it that way
1 Like
Honestly there is a few things I would consider before going to court.
If he is a good dad and takes care of the kids
If he has his own home, and has what they need.
If you have a open and communicative relationship with their dad and can co parent effectively.
You don’t need courts for money. If he is coparenting right, he is already paying for everything they need when they are with him, you pay for shit yourself when they are with you that’s 50/50
It was explained to me from the mediator at the court house I did my child support at, that its not about who has the kid more but about balancing the income between the homes the child lives in.
So one house isn’t disadvantaged etc.
But also, if this agreement works for you guys and you aren’t struggling then mom needs to butt out.
Sounds like you both got a good thing going while spoil it with CS if both paying evenly stick with that. Honestly I went for CS they offered me £7.50 a week and my childs father works so, told them to shove it up his ass and paid for everything myself🤷♀️ better that way for me.
Child support is for ABSENT parents, and honestly it’s none of her business in the firstplace. (Unless your asking for advice) You are 50/50 so why would he be expected to pay more!!! I agree with you… that’s not okay. All that matters is you and dad are on the same page. 
Best of luck
6 Likes
If your son is well cared for by both of you and you don’t feel like he has to go without, by all means stick to your agreement. As your son gets older, this might change, but for now if it’s working…tell your mom to mind her business.
4 Likes
I’ll be praying for you
Do what works for you not your mother
You’re absolutely doing the right thing and your mother needs to mind her own business and this is none of her concern.
mostly a 50/50 split nobody pays child support. Be sure to remind your mom that if you made a lot more money, you would be required to pay child support, a lot of women do pay child support to their childrens fathers.
And it honestly doesn’t just go by who makes more. If no child support was requested then none will be “automatically awarded” or whatever. My mom made nothing compared to my dad and she never requested any help so my dad never had to pay. If she would have just asked the court she would have been awarded it for sure. In this case it seems like they agreed together to split everything and keep it even that way, and it’s working for them. And grandma is a freaking gold digger lol
If he wasn’t helping an doing his share then off to court we go but if youz really do the 50/50 thing then there’s no point BUT I would keep receipts for more expensive items and him so the same just Incase it always isn’t this nice.
Wow… your mom is so wrong. Just cause he’s the dad doesn’t mean he should have to pay child support.
I agree with you completely. This is your decision, not your moms.
Tell yr Mum to back of as it’s yr son not hers and if she don’t like it stay away. She has had her turn at being a Mum and now it’s yrs so she needs to take a back seat and just be the Nan.
1 Like
So what’s best for you two. Your mom’s opinion shouldn’t matter
Where does the child reside through the week, who takes child to the doctors, who buys clothes for the child? Who does the school activities? All things to consider, when you’re saying 50/50.
I have 50/50 with my ex husband and I feel same way!! I take care of them when I have them and vise versa. Ans anything super big that comes up we work it out. My daughter needed braces not covered by insurance so we both threw in
If it’s split 50/50 … then she needs to mind her business
If you both have 50/50 then there is no reason to pay cs. If I made a decent amount more than my husband and it was a struggle for him on one income, I wouldn’t mind paying child support and I’m sure he would do the same if it was vice versa
If he’s doing his share then he’s doing 50-50 if you paid a lot more money you’d be paying child support
I think you’re attitude towards this is very fair.
3 Likes
Opinions are like assholes everyone has one…in this case it doesn’t matter what any ones opinion is the law says if placement is 50/50 as well as custody no one pays its really that simple …tell her it’s not up to you and if she has a prob with it to write the governor!
Is she also unsupportive when you need help?.. usually people push it because they feel like you need the money so that they don’t have to help you. If he is willing to split everything 50/50 then there is no need for the child support because you aren’t covering the full cost
1 Like
My ex husband and I split 50/50 but no child support or alimony. Because he makes more he pays a higher percentage of her activities and doctors bills. Even with that I’ll sometimes pay half as his job was affected by the pandemic lock downs and mine wasn’t.
2 Likes
You’re doing the right thing!! If ya’ll have have an agreement and split things 50/50, their’s no need to take him for child support. Tell your mother to back off and let you do things your way.
Your mom is so wrong!!! Sounds like she has something against the dad in my opinion. Tell her to mind her own business.
Does your mom pay anything toward the support of the child? If you live with her or she helps you financially, then she may be frustrated by that.
My sister’s situation was that the courts compared incomes and the parent that earned more paid support to the one who earned less.
I commend you for being sensible. Most aren’t. My ex and I were the same.
3 Likes
If he spends 50% of his time with his dad and you guys split his expenses
I agree what would the support be for
Sometimes the older generations, me, have a hard time understanding things. Like how is everyone friends now after divorce??!!
But hey, it seems to work.
I always think back to things I did and my parents didn’t understand.
Hopefully with each generation life gets better
1 Like
Not everyone’s custody journeys are the same. What works for someone else may not work for you and vise-versa. If your agreement is working for the both of you, then don’t change it. It’s refreshing seeing people be able to co-parent in a healthy way.
For One a man does NOT pay more because he is a man!!! What a wrong belief system you have. Next child support should always be ordered or deiced by court so it fair. Court take both parents income and “get this DO ACTUALLY MATH” then the courts decide if child support should be ordered or not and how much. The court keeps it fair based off income and what is 100% in the best interest of the child. No. He would not be ordered to pay child support in court if you two make the same amount, pay out the same amount for the child, and have him the same amount of time. The court takes in factors of who buys and pays for what which is why you should always keep proof of what you pay for. Example: if you pay insurance, if you are the only one buying clothes, if you pay for daycare. Don’t pretend men are victims!!!
4 Likes
If you split everything there shouldn’t be child support. He’s already supporting the child, just as you are. Tell your Mom he isn’t supposed to be supporting you and to please keep her comments to herself.
4 Likes
My ex does not pay child support either as we have also decided to avoid fotc. But he pays for my son’s groceries. Every week I bring him my receipt highlight the things that are specifically for my son, not dinner stuff & he covers that. In addition he also pays for anything our son needs. Ie:clothes, shoes. He also pays for his karate, all of it. Fotc would be alot more than all of that. & we also have split custody. On average he gives me 60 a week towards groceries & 109 a month for karate. Maybe your mom just feels like he isn’t paying enough. Honestly I would probably start getting him to pay for all of daycare if he makes more money than you cuz it’s very difficult for a single mom to pay for daycare, I know better than anyone. As long as he puts in honest effort you can continue to avoid fotc.
In Kentucky 50/50 also means the income is made to be equal in both homes. So if one or the other makes more money CS would be set up to even it out. 50/50 is equal time, equal income, split medical, everything!
2 Likes
You’re not wrong. If you’re successfully co-parenting with 50/50 physical custody, and are already splitting the child expenses that aren’t related to food and housing there isn’t a reason for child support. There isn’t even a good chance he’ll be asked to pay more than he already does. If he makes more than you they could decide those expenses should be split 60/40 with him paying 60% instead of 50, but if you make more it can shift the other way too. Making you pay him.
If you aren’t struggling financially and he is already willing to step in and buy extra stuff for your child when it’s needed (like clothes and sneakers), then why put unnecessary tension on a successful co-parenting setup to make your mom happy? Taking him to court to put what he already does for the child on the books could put stress on a dynamic the two of you are doing well in. Just put your foot down and tell her you don’t need the courts playing middle man to give you what you already have.
4 Likes
Child support laws were written back when the mom stayed home and when divorce happened then she didn’t have a job and no job skills! Therefore she needed support. Not today especially if it is a 50/50 split. These laws need to be rewritten to apply to todays standards. Women work and some have higher paying jobs than the dads! But dad still gets stuck with the blood sucking! Most dads want to support their kids but they can’t have a fun vacation or extras for the kids at dads when mom has sucked in more than her share!
Thank you for being fair! Glad you could have a peaceful separation!
We have 50/50 and BM pays $150 a month for 2 kids in child support.
He does pay child support half of day care
No you’re not the only one that thinks that way I think you’re doing a good job of doing what you’re doing if you both can do that together and you both are happy about it together then you will decide what you want to do don’t worry about what people thinks somebody’s always got something to say about something so continue on girlfriend you’re doing right
1 Like
You’re not wrong. If he’s involved and respects the 50/50 there’s nothing to be said. He does his thing and you do yours! If my fam did that I would just say don’t bring it up anymore and if they did I would just walk away and never entertain it
2 Likes
Does he truly have 50/50? does he pay half of everything that has to do with your son? Clothes, extracurricular activities, Medical Insurance, toys, games, hobbies? If he is not, this what your mom might be referring to. I didn’t include housing or food or stuff like that because I presume, he is at his dad’s house 50% of the time so that would be even split. The things I mentioned though should be included in the 50/50 arrangement. As he gets older there will be other things, school supplies, sports, more expensive activities and hobbies. I think your mom just doesn’t want you getting the short stick.
1 Like
Your mom is from a different generation. 50/50 custody was unheard of in her day. She probably can’t wrap her head around it. But it’s really none of her business. I would politely tell her that everything is good and she just needs to let you worry about it.
3 Likes